Making a Real Santy Claus

[Captain Kablam]

Hey, I was wondering what it would take to make a real Santa Claus (aside from relying on Morgan Freeman (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ch5MEJk5ZCQ))? Yes I know Wizards have already made their own Santa (http://www.wizards.com/dnd/files/Santa.pdf).

An admirable attempt, but I noticed two key missing components. A he can't tell if everyone's bad or good, not unless he's face to face with them and that's now Santa rolls, and B noticed the reindeer can't travel the whole world in a single night, they can't even fly. Now, if a cut rate "Narnia" Santa does it for you, that's fine. But me, I'm a capitalist, in-grateful fat kid in America, and I want a corporate Santa.

So, is there any way, without breaking any rules (no homebrewing), to roll out a Santa Claus? Now the only other stipulation is that he can't be a god, because he's not that, he's a Saint, which is essentially a demi-god as far as monster making rules go (unlike Saint Cuthbert), so divine rank 5 is the max.

Is it possible? And if so, what are the numbers?

[Vhaidara]

Wizard into a non-evil version of Cancer Mage with Lost Tradition (Strength). Gets Festering Anger, ignores the negatives, giving him NI Strength, allowing him to lift the toy bag. Also links his casting to Strength, giving him NI spells/day of all levels. Chain Time Stops to make it all the way around the world in 6 seconds. And eat all of the cookies and drink all of the milk without getting sick.

[weckar]

Scryer with Bag of holding. Reindeer get Gate spells at will.

[Captain Kablam]

Wizard into a non-evil version of Cancer Mage with Lost Tradition (Strength). Gets Festering Anger, ignores the negatives, giving him NI Strength, allowing him to lift the toy bag. Also links his casting to Strength, giving him NI spells/day of all levels. Chain Time Stops to make it all the way around the world in 6 seconds. And eat all of the cookies and drink all of the milk without getting sick.

Evil is a requirement for Cancer Mage, so unless St. Nick was involved with The Trail of Tears at some point and repented, that's not gonna fly. Beside, would you really want to sit on the lap of a guy covered in tumors and boils? And I'm with weckar, Bag o' Holding solves the toy issue rather nicely. However, good call with the Time Stops. I'd suggest switching to max stacks of sorcerer over wizard to mix in the Versatile Spellcaster feat.

Also, we do still need to make it so he doesn't die of old age.

[Muggins]

I feel compelled to point out Santa, courtesy of Iron Chef (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=14384481&postcount=71).

[AvatarVecna]

If epic level is possible (We're already discussing chains of time stops), you could cat a Time Stop spell with the persistent spell metamagic feat. It's a 15th level spell, but it's a time stop lasting 24 hours. It's awesome.

[Hand_of_Vecna]

If epic level is possible (We're already discussing chains of time stops), you could cat a Time Stop spell with the persistent spell metamagic feat. It's a 15th level spell, but it's a time stop lasting 24 hours. It's awesome.

If Persistent Timestop is allowed, you don't need to be epic. Just be a DMM Clericzilla with either Trickery, Celerity, Planning or Time as ono of your Domains.

[Gildedragon]

If Persistent Timestop is allowed, you don't need to be epic. Just be a DMM Clericzilla with either Trickery, Celerity, Planning or Time as ono of your Domains.

Clearly planning

Also leadership for the artificer horde he has access to. Rather than BoH: ring gates. Gets the right item given to him from the workshop.

Prolly has divine rank 0 or 1... All those kids a worshipping and praying and leaving baked offerings (more skillful than burnt offerings)

[Captain Kablam]

Prolly has divine rank 0 or 1... All those kids a worshipping and praying and leaving baked offerings (more skillful than burnt offerings)

Definitely 1 would do to make Santa's Workshop a realm unto itself. It gives the workers all the time needed to make toys. Not to mention let's face it, he gets remote sensing which allows for scrying 1 mile out from his symbols, when his name is spoken, or his worshipers (children), which are f&$%ing everywhere, so the bad or good thing is a lock.

Also, another question, would he be considered a terrorist among the Drow? For all intents and purposes, Drow society is sucktastic, kindness is always weakness, and charity is decried as f&$%ing stupid. So when some kid in Drow town wakes up and receives a stuffed bear, what happens? At best he/she stands victim for a heavy and hearty beat down from his/her parents for serving such embarrassment as being "good" for a whole year, at worst Lolth catches wind, sees it as poisoning her flock, and tries to murder the fatman in cold blood.

[Gildedragon]

The drow probably get plausible deniability gifts.
A pet spider
A mechanical spider
Spidersilk lace
"Easy-bake sleep-poison"
"My first intrigue/detective set"
Playskool Merciful Dagger

And are told to lie: they stole it from the fat man.
All drow children probably put on a façade of good early on to get the gifts. You just gotta behave good to get the gifts, and lolth appreciates the duplicitousness.

[Hand_of_Vecna]

Clearly planning

Planning is definetly fitting and the best feat Domain for CharOP, but it doesn't have to be planning.

Trickery could come his association with fey. Santa's Elves clearly aren't PHB Elves. It gives him stealth. Level 20 Santa Timestops, but it would be cool if his build allowed low level Santa to do his shtick in a few towns.

Time could have been a direct reward for saving Baby New Yea from Aeon the Terrible.

[Erik Vale]

*Skips to the end*
Wixard [X]/Incantrix 3 [or other reducer]/Whatever.
Persisted timestop loops, with the reading that it gives you a full day in no time instead of 1d4 rounds in a day, custom item of detect evil. If the raindeer aren't a actual item, you have to go for War-Weaver 1/Spellguard of Silverymoon 5 to affect the reindeer, who will then also be in your timestop.
Spelltraps create the gifts. Possibly made by bound efreeti, just to snub them by doing a NG/LG act. To turn them into elves, find some way to make the elves constructs, and turn them into spelltraps [they're still items].


What have I missed?

[Alent]

Santa could be an Artificer with just enough levels to craft contingent spells, And summon enough of his helpers to grapple speedball around the world, triggering one contingent diminutive wish per fae HD per person?

(Maybe I just really like the idea of the grapple speedball with a rednosed reindeer and fat old man sticking out of it.)

[Captain Kablam]

Planning is definetly fitting and the best feat Domain for CharOP, but it doesn't have to be planning.

Trickery could come his association with fey. Santa's Elves clearly aren't PHB Elves. It gives him stealth. Level 20 Santa Timestops, but it would be cool if his build allowed low level Santa to do his shtick in a few towns.

Time could have been a direct reward for saving Baby New Yea from Aeon the Terrible.

I dunno, I always figured the 3.5 equivalent to Santa's elves would be the Gnomes, given their natural affinity for technology. Don't get me wrong, fey made stuff's awesome, but I see a factory run by the fey to operate well until someone decides to play with some of the toys, then EVERYONE has to have a turn doing that, before you know it, they're all standing around throwing stuffed bears at each other.

Also, why would Santa get a reward for the Baby New Year thing? Rudolph did all the leg work.

[Hand_of_Vecna]

I dunno, I always figured the 3.5 equivalent to Santa's elves would be the Gnomes, given their natural affinity for technology. Don't get me wrong, fey made stuff's awesome, but I see a factory run by the fey to operate well until someone decides to play with some of the toys, then EVERYONE has to have a turn doing that, before you know it, they're all standing around throwing stuffed bears at each other.

Also, why would Santa get a reward for the Baby New Year thing? Rudolph did all the leg work.

I was thinking of more magical "elves", but yes, the modern trend is more and more towards magi-tech or pure tech.

The sequence of events in Rudolph's Shiny New Year.

1. Father Time asks Santa for help.

2. Santa delegates.

3. Searching commences.

4. Happy New Year is found and saved.

5. Santa delivers Happy to Father Time.

[Captain Kablam]

I was thinking of more magical "elves", but yes, the modern trend is more and more towards magi-tech or pure tech.



Well it's not so much that, it's just that when I think of the Fey, the words proud and unpredictable come to mind (since they are in a way the embodiment of not only nature's beauty, but it's power and capriciousness), I could see them getting real tired of cobbling together wooden together for a friggin year, every year real fast.

And yeah, you're right about the Rudolph thing.

[Muggins]

Did nobody look at the Santa build from Iron Chef, or did we just switch gears to spitballing other ideas here?

[Hand_of_Vecna]

Did nobody look at the Santa build from Iron Chef, or did we just switch gears to spitballing other ideas here?

For me that's a fairly inelligent Santa. His crafting set-up is well done, but the build goes 10 levels of caster to handle crafting/ 10 levels of mostly mundane stealth. He's a wizard that decided to be Santa.

Personally, I'd prefer a Santa that could have been the one from the ABC "Santa Claus is Comin' to Town" (the one with the puppets). My Santa needs to be capable of Santaing in one large city at low levels this means some kind of casting to start his crafting engine and stealth from his base class.

[Muggins]

Maybe there's a better class than the Nightsong Infiltrator for this job, then. Probably something with climbing, and preferably something which keeps the crafting tricks.

Unfortunately, I'm coming up blank.

[Vhaidara]

Thief-Acrobat//Artificer gestalt? I'd say the big guy's power level and varied talents could justify a gestalt.