Applejaxc
2014-06-25, 03:55 AM
Hi. :)
I can't believe it's only been 8 years since I picked up D&D. Now, I know most of you 1.0+ vets are going to start shaking your canes at me for being the scrub who only played the "Gamer's" edition of the game, but this isn't about me or the merits of the THAC0 system.
A few weeks ago, I introduced a new player (who had never played a PnP RPG prior) to D&D 3.5. He chose human cleric of Heironeous named Damien Sheman. (Yes. The last time is supposed to sound... androgynous) You can understand this DM's frustration when his first character rolled 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 17. He'd make one hell of a Paladin, to say the least. >.>
Accompanying him was the 3 other PCs, Said (Sigh-eed; I can't put a trema over the I with an American keyboard to make Saïd), the human Mind Blade from the Far East (I was against psionics in a first-adventure but I was convinced otherwise), Valenwood the Grey Elf Wizard, and Bartleby (Bartlebee? I've never seen his character sheet...) the human rouge/monk.
You can see, already, how difficult this is for a fairly new DM:
You've got one character who doesn't need to purchase/find new weapons, one character who only uses rapiers and short bows, a character that only uses his fists, and a character that refuses to use anything but a long sword, meaning I have to arbitrarily make every dragon horde contain 1 of 3 weapons without getting a bunch of dissatisfied players (Selling a +whatever whatever in exchange for a +whatever preferred weapon isn't as satisfying as "This is my +whatever whatever of whatever that I got after killing whoever at wherever!" afterall)
The other PCs all rolled suspiciously high as well, (I watched the rolls... may have been loaded dice) meaning all enemy spell casters have had arbitrarily high Charisma/Intelligence scores to make magic attacks actually threatening...
But that's just setting you (the readers) up for the story:
We begin in Owlsdale, the once-monopolizers of the owl and owl-related products industry. (If you're a fan of the Yogscast, you can see how original I am) Upon arrival to the small town, tucked into the rocky base of Daksunder Mountain, the 4 heroes (all level 2 at this point) became aware of two facts: There was a disturbing lack of owls around the town, and "Wanted: Jabbawocker, 500 gold" signs were plastered to every available surface.
It was late, however, and the rather unheroic heroes were more interested in finding a place to stay than slaying the Jabbawocker. Thusly, they all found that the only open Inn was the Illuminated Nights, run by a certain Krampus the Human. Unlike many that they'd dealt with before, Krampus was polite to the elf in the party, and didn't demand a extra on room or board, or out-right refuse service, as had happened before. Each of the 4 heroes (Damien not yet having met Saïd, Bartlby, or Valenwood) rented 4 rooms, paid for dinner, and went to bed after a rather uneventful day-
-and were awoken in the early morning by a scream of utter fear!
Finally finding their heroism, Damien and his trusty Sword of Heironeous, Saïd and Bartlby with their fists, and Valenwood with his magic rushed downstairs to find a crowd looking at the center of the Inn, where a young man had been battered, beaten, stabbed, and hacked to death during a violent struggle. Half-coated in blood, one of the barmaids sat nearby muttering incoherently. Krampus tried to maintain order. "C'mon there's nothin' ta see! Y'all get back in yer beds." Desperately, he offered to refund everyone if they returned to bed now; the PCs were on their own way when Thorax Doombeard, Captain of the Citizen's Militia, and his unarmed, under-aged militiamen stormed the Inn and apprehended the newcomers, who had just deduced (correctly) that the barmaid had slipped in the man's blood and screamed when she realized what she was covered in, and was not the murderer.
"Who are you?" "Why are you in my town?" "Where were you during the murder?" Thorax was rightly suspicious of these newcomers, and demanded the PCs state their business. Mr. Cleric of Mightier-Than-Thou remembered his Diplomacy was higher than his Intimidation and convinced Thorax they were all simply travelers. After some discussion, Thorax mentioned this fit the M.O. of the Jabbawocker. Given the gruesome nature of the murder and the possibility at securing 500 gold, the 4 "Unlikely Heroes" decided they would join forces in the morning and set out to face the Jabbawocker, least it terrorize the innocent another night. "In the morning, you should talk to Eric. He runs the Missed Adventure down the street. He's the leading expert on the Jabbawocker. Good luck, heroes."
The Missed Adventure wasn't hard to find; the 3-story stone tower was originally built in the quest to kill Lorris the Terrible (a Dracolych!; but that's all cliche back story) and served as the focal-point for this frontier town some years after. It did give me an opportunity to lead to my first SINPC (Super Important NPC; the "SIN" part is because these guys wind up becoming DMPCs half the time, which I know is a big no-no to most groups): Eric Decievil, kobold entrepreneur. My players didn't expect a lawful-evil creature to be running a store in a neutral-good town, but it happens.
Eric Decievil was jubilant and ready to sell the PCs the world as they walked through the doors of his shop, but immediately shut his yipyap when the Jabbawocker was mentioned. "Aye, I'm the town's expert on the beast... so far as 'expert' means 'The dumbass that found it.' I was mining in the Daksunder Mountains when I came across what I thought could be the remnants of Lorris' dungeon. Instead, I found... The Jabbawocker!" (it was raining during this reveal; the ellipses was because I was hoping it would thunder. It didn't).
Eric, while untrusted, led the party up the side of Daksunder to the cave he claimed to have entered. The inside was unnaturally 10 degrees colder than outside, and its temperature dropped sharply when every foot of decline.
"I hope Lorris didn't have any eggs..."
Then, they met the second SINPC:
"WHO DARE'S CROSS MY THRESHOLD? I DEMAND A GOLD PIECE TO SATISFY MY PALATE, SAVE I DINE ON THE UNWARY INSTEAD!"
They entered a nondescript room with nothing but a wooden door in it and no obvious source of the voice. The rogue-monk immediately declared he was searching for traps. When a nat20 didn't reveal anything, he declared "I lick the door."
"Heeheeheeeheee," the door giggled. (I did my best to mime a giggling door)
Saïd: "...is it breathing?"
DM: "Do you want to check?"
Saïd: "...let Damien do it. He has the most HP."
Damien approached the door and figured out that yes, the door was breathing.
Saïd the opportunist threw himself at the "Feet" of the door. "OH, door, oh wonderful gracious door, I am Saïd, adventurer from the far east. It is nice to meet you."
Door: "Uh... it is nice to meet you as well."
Saïd: "I will pay for my passage, as well my companions." He offered a gold piece; a massive, sticky tongue-of-a-doorknob shot from the creature and collected the piece and the door opened, letting Saïd through, then slammed shut behind him (Saïd declared his Reflex saving throw total before I could say "It's not a trap")
"It is 1 gold piece per person" the door reminded them. Bartbly paid, then Valenwood.
Eric: "Uh... S-Sir Damien? ... I didn't bring any money."
After purchasing equipment, Damien only had 2 gp left. Both were spent that morning.
The marching order was decided, with the rogue-monk scouting ahead, and Eric and Valenwood sandwiched between the torch-bearing humans, Damien in the back. As they failed their spot/listen checks, a Choker (one of my all-time favorite monsters) grapple-sneak-attacked Damien and subdued him for 2 rounds before Damien cut himself free (the rest of the party still failed their listen to notice the combat behind them!). After a few indignant remarks regarding the quality of the Elf's ears, they fed the Choker to the Door and continued.
Next, they came to the Room of Inconvenient Skill Checks. Essentially a round room with a cracked floor, requiring a series of successful jumps to be made to cross to the wooden door on the far side. Amazingly, the Cleric in Scale, the Wizard, the Expert, and the Mind Blade crossed no problem. The rogue-monk failed every single roll. Fortunately, only the last fall was actually substantial; 1 1d6 later, they made it to the door.
"Please knock before entering," written in common and undercommon. Odd, but Eric vouched for the safety of the door; "The food here is excellent."
Damien knocked, expecting a trap; instead, an elderly goblin woman answered. "Hello?"
Damien: "I am Sir Damien, Champion of Heironeous. I request passage."
Goblin: "Wouldn't you like to stay for breakfast, first?"
Damien/party: *Fails will save* "Yes, I would like to stay for breakfast."
So, the party sat down to eat with the goblin and her 3 human manservants for a delicious meal. The room was candlelit, and the food (surprisingly) didn't try to kill them. At first-
1st will save, everyone fails.
2nd will save, everyone fails.
3rd (final) will save, Damien succeeds, breaking the illusion. Instead of meat pies, they're eating ash and dust. Instead of candles, sickly green glowing mushrooms illuminate the room. Instead of manservants and a goblin, it's 3 zombies and a skeleton! (Funnily enough, "Failing" to see through the illusion had no ill affect; you just ate some ashes and were on your way)
The first round after surprise, Saïd grabbed the Kobold. "In case this is a trap, I'm not letting him go. I don't trust Kobolds."
Eric did nothing to arouse suspicion. They continued onward.
Some uninteresting stuff happened, they found a few dead bodies and some minor items, including a Holy Symbol of Pelor that made Turn Undead more powerful. The Cleric (who took up roleplaying surprisingly fast) threw it away, stating "I fight for Heironeous, and count on only him for my blessings and favor in battle. Besides, the Church of Pelor will buy this from me, right?"
Finally, they reach the door... the door that leads to the Jabbawocker... and it turns out to be a Gelatinous Cube with 3 skeletons in it. Roll for initiative.
This turned out to be one of my favorite homebrew monsters, right next to the Cake Golem; its primary damage came from acid, not slam; the players had to think of a way to hit it other than stabbing/slashing so they weren't taking acid spray every turn; instead of splitting in 2 from damage, every X amount caused a skeleton to slide out and attack; when it "Grappled," the skeletons still inside of it grabbed the player and pulled him in.
Saïd unfortunately stabbed his mind blade right into the monster, which let it perform a grapple on him. It sucked in his arm 1 round, part of his torso on the 2nd round, then everything but his hand on the 3rd round. When all hope was lost (and the 2nd level character had taken 3d4 acid damage-ouch!), the slime realized Saïd had a torch in his other hand! The "Fire = bad!" caveman part of the slime's brain (?) reacted by shooting Saïd; the party realized their Alchemist's Fire was the safest way to kill the slime, ending the fight.
Saïd, on 6/20 HP: "Damien, I request your healing."
Damien: "...are you serious? You still have 6 HP." (In the next session, Damien had lost only 4 HP and used Cure Moderate the next turn. He isn't a very popular Cleric)
The party returned to Owlsdale amid much praise. Krampus promised the Illuminated Nights would always offer a bed, free of charge, and whatnot. Thorax was the only unhappy person; the barmaid was murdered before the heroes set out to slay the Jabbawocker...
...but they received a Letter of Recognition for Services Rendered from the Mayor of Owlsdale. "Owlsdale is too poor to readily provide 500gp quest rewards. You must redeem this letter in the city of St. Therissa to the south-west 4 days from here for your reward. I will trust the letter with Eric Decievil, who will accompany you and vouch for your valor."
"And I wish to join you!" The Door, who revealed himself to be a Mimic and took on the appropriate name "Hingebeard" decided that the life of a door was not fit for him, and that he would be more happy to accompany a band of heroes as their mobile treasure chest.
Entire Party: "...I don't trust Eric. Keep an eye on him; make sure he doesn't run off with our letter."
Travelling to St. Therissa proves to be wildly uneventful; I don't believe in random encounters. After 2 days, however, they run into the Harold Farm, where a family of gnomes is fighting off a dire badger attack. They arrive too late to help, but see the devastation; 2 gnomes and their 13 starving children have had their livelihood destroyed by "Some ******* spike-eared bastard elf druid" in the forest not far away. The party decided to lend their services.
The forest was nonthreatening, until a dire badger started following them, then a second one, then three... and then OMFG a giant bear that can cast spells attacked them!
They reduced the "Bear" to 1HP, who morphed into his Elf form and surrendered, somewhat. He accused the gnome farmers as destroying the land, yadda yadda, all the crap that Druids accuse not-hippies of doing.
After several hours of negotiation, the PCs convinced the gnomes to make all of their animals free-range and to grow trees on their property. In exchange, Valencia the Druid would watch over them and their now-free animals, and fairly hunt an appropriate amount to feed the family. Then, the PCs got back on the road.
"Your Kobold is gone, and he has your letter."
The "Oh... ****" face everyone had was a great way to end a session. But did they seriously expect I was going to give 2nd level characters 500 GP? I'm not that generous.
So, how good/bad for a new GM?
I can't believe it's only been 8 years since I picked up D&D. Now, I know most of you 1.0+ vets are going to start shaking your canes at me for being the scrub who only played the "Gamer's" edition of the game, but this isn't about me or the merits of the THAC0 system.
A few weeks ago, I introduced a new player (who had never played a PnP RPG prior) to D&D 3.5. He chose human cleric of Heironeous named Damien Sheman. (Yes. The last time is supposed to sound... androgynous) You can understand this DM's frustration when his first character rolled 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 17. He'd make one hell of a Paladin, to say the least. >.>
Accompanying him was the 3 other PCs, Said (Sigh-eed; I can't put a trema over the I with an American keyboard to make Saïd), the human Mind Blade from the Far East (I was against psionics in a first-adventure but I was convinced otherwise), Valenwood the Grey Elf Wizard, and Bartleby (Bartlebee? I've never seen his character sheet...) the human rouge/monk.
You can see, already, how difficult this is for a fairly new DM:
You've got one character who doesn't need to purchase/find new weapons, one character who only uses rapiers and short bows, a character that only uses his fists, and a character that refuses to use anything but a long sword, meaning I have to arbitrarily make every dragon horde contain 1 of 3 weapons without getting a bunch of dissatisfied players (Selling a +whatever whatever in exchange for a +whatever preferred weapon isn't as satisfying as "This is my +whatever whatever of whatever that I got after killing whoever at wherever!" afterall)
The other PCs all rolled suspiciously high as well, (I watched the rolls... may have been loaded dice) meaning all enemy spell casters have had arbitrarily high Charisma/Intelligence scores to make magic attacks actually threatening...
But that's just setting you (the readers) up for the story:
We begin in Owlsdale, the once-monopolizers of the owl and owl-related products industry. (If you're a fan of the Yogscast, you can see how original I am) Upon arrival to the small town, tucked into the rocky base of Daksunder Mountain, the 4 heroes (all level 2 at this point) became aware of two facts: There was a disturbing lack of owls around the town, and "Wanted: Jabbawocker, 500 gold" signs were plastered to every available surface.
It was late, however, and the rather unheroic heroes were more interested in finding a place to stay than slaying the Jabbawocker. Thusly, they all found that the only open Inn was the Illuminated Nights, run by a certain Krampus the Human. Unlike many that they'd dealt with before, Krampus was polite to the elf in the party, and didn't demand a extra on room or board, or out-right refuse service, as had happened before. Each of the 4 heroes (Damien not yet having met Saïd, Bartlby, or Valenwood) rented 4 rooms, paid for dinner, and went to bed after a rather uneventful day-
-and were awoken in the early morning by a scream of utter fear!
Finally finding their heroism, Damien and his trusty Sword of Heironeous, Saïd and Bartlby with their fists, and Valenwood with his magic rushed downstairs to find a crowd looking at the center of the Inn, where a young man had been battered, beaten, stabbed, and hacked to death during a violent struggle. Half-coated in blood, one of the barmaids sat nearby muttering incoherently. Krampus tried to maintain order. "C'mon there's nothin' ta see! Y'all get back in yer beds." Desperately, he offered to refund everyone if they returned to bed now; the PCs were on their own way when Thorax Doombeard, Captain of the Citizen's Militia, and his unarmed, under-aged militiamen stormed the Inn and apprehended the newcomers, who had just deduced (correctly) that the barmaid had slipped in the man's blood and screamed when she realized what she was covered in, and was not the murderer.
"Who are you?" "Why are you in my town?" "Where were you during the murder?" Thorax was rightly suspicious of these newcomers, and demanded the PCs state their business. Mr. Cleric of Mightier-Than-Thou remembered his Diplomacy was higher than his Intimidation and convinced Thorax they were all simply travelers. After some discussion, Thorax mentioned this fit the M.O. of the Jabbawocker. Given the gruesome nature of the murder and the possibility at securing 500 gold, the 4 "Unlikely Heroes" decided they would join forces in the morning and set out to face the Jabbawocker, least it terrorize the innocent another night. "In the morning, you should talk to Eric. He runs the Missed Adventure down the street. He's the leading expert on the Jabbawocker. Good luck, heroes."
The Missed Adventure wasn't hard to find; the 3-story stone tower was originally built in the quest to kill Lorris the Terrible (a Dracolych!; but that's all cliche back story) and served as the focal-point for this frontier town some years after. It did give me an opportunity to lead to my first SINPC (Super Important NPC; the "SIN" part is because these guys wind up becoming DMPCs half the time, which I know is a big no-no to most groups): Eric Decievil, kobold entrepreneur. My players didn't expect a lawful-evil creature to be running a store in a neutral-good town, but it happens.
Eric Decievil was jubilant and ready to sell the PCs the world as they walked through the doors of his shop, but immediately shut his yipyap when the Jabbawocker was mentioned. "Aye, I'm the town's expert on the beast... so far as 'expert' means 'The dumbass that found it.' I was mining in the Daksunder Mountains when I came across what I thought could be the remnants of Lorris' dungeon. Instead, I found... The Jabbawocker!" (it was raining during this reveal; the ellipses was because I was hoping it would thunder. It didn't).
Eric, while untrusted, led the party up the side of Daksunder to the cave he claimed to have entered. The inside was unnaturally 10 degrees colder than outside, and its temperature dropped sharply when every foot of decline.
"I hope Lorris didn't have any eggs..."
Then, they met the second SINPC:
"WHO DARE'S CROSS MY THRESHOLD? I DEMAND A GOLD PIECE TO SATISFY MY PALATE, SAVE I DINE ON THE UNWARY INSTEAD!"
They entered a nondescript room with nothing but a wooden door in it and no obvious source of the voice. The rogue-monk immediately declared he was searching for traps. When a nat20 didn't reveal anything, he declared "I lick the door."
"Heeheeheeeheee," the door giggled. (I did my best to mime a giggling door)
Saïd: "...is it breathing?"
DM: "Do you want to check?"
Saïd: "...let Damien do it. He has the most HP."
Damien approached the door and figured out that yes, the door was breathing.
Saïd the opportunist threw himself at the "Feet" of the door. "OH, door, oh wonderful gracious door, I am Saïd, adventurer from the far east. It is nice to meet you."
Door: "Uh... it is nice to meet you as well."
Saïd: "I will pay for my passage, as well my companions." He offered a gold piece; a massive, sticky tongue-of-a-doorknob shot from the creature and collected the piece and the door opened, letting Saïd through, then slammed shut behind him (Saïd declared his Reflex saving throw total before I could say "It's not a trap")
"It is 1 gold piece per person" the door reminded them. Bartbly paid, then Valenwood.
Eric: "Uh... S-Sir Damien? ... I didn't bring any money."
After purchasing equipment, Damien only had 2 gp left. Both were spent that morning.
The marching order was decided, with the rogue-monk scouting ahead, and Eric and Valenwood sandwiched between the torch-bearing humans, Damien in the back. As they failed their spot/listen checks, a Choker (one of my all-time favorite monsters) grapple-sneak-attacked Damien and subdued him for 2 rounds before Damien cut himself free (the rest of the party still failed their listen to notice the combat behind them!). After a few indignant remarks regarding the quality of the Elf's ears, they fed the Choker to the Door and continued.
Next, they came to the Room of Inconvenient Skill Checks. Essentially a round room with a cracked floor, requiring a series of successful jumps to be made to cross to the wooden door on the far side. Amazingly, the Cleric in Scale, the Wizard, the Expert, and the Mind Blade crossed no problem. The rogue-monk failed every single roll. Fortunately, only the last fall was actually substantial; 1 1d6 later, they made it to the door.
"Please knock before entering," written in common and undercommon. Odd, but Eric vouched for the safety of the door; "The food here is excellent."
Damien knocked, expecting a trap; instead, an elderly goblin woman answered. "Hello?"
Damien: "I am Sir Damien, Champion of Heironeous. I request passage."
Goblin: "Wouldn't you like to stay for breakfast, first?"
Damien/party: *Fails will save* "Yes, I would like to stay for breakfast."
So, the party sat down to eat with the goblin and her 3 human manservants for a delicious meal. The room was candlelit, and the food (surprisingly) didn't try to kill them. At first-
1st will save, everyone fails.
2nd will save, everyone fails.
3rd (final) will save, Damien succeeds, breaking the illusion. Instead of meat pies, they're eating ash and dust. Instead of candles, sickly green glowing mushrooms illuminate the room. Instead of manservants and a goblin, it's 3 zombies and a skeleton! (Funnily enough, "Failing" to see through the illusion had no ill affect; you just ate some ashes and were on your way)
The first round after surprise, Saïd grabbed the Kobold. "In case this is a trap, I'm not letting him go. I don't trust Kobolds."
Eric did nothing to arouse suspicion. They continued onward.
Some uninteresting stuff happened, they found a few dead bodies and some minor items, including a Holy Symbol of Pelor that made Turn Undead more powerful. The Cleric (who took up roleplaying surprisingly fast) threw it away, stating "I fight for Heironeous, and count on only him for my blessings and favor in battle. Besides, the Church of Pelor will buy this from me, right?"
Finally, they reach the door... the door that leads to the Jabbawocker... and it turns out to be a Gelatinous Cube with 3 skeletons in it. Roll for initiative.
This turned out to be one of my favorite homebrew monsters, right next to the Cake Golem; its primary damage came from acid, not slam; the players had to think of a way to hit it other than stabbing/slashing so they weren't taking acid spray every turn; instead of splitting in 2 from damage, every X amount caused a skeleton to slide out and attack; when it "Grappled," the skeletons still inside of it grabbed the player and pulled him in.
Saïd unfortunately stabbed his mind blade right into the monster, which let it perform a grapple on him. It sucked in his arm 1 round, part of his torso on the 2nd round, then everything but his hand on the 3rd round. When all hope was lost (and the 2nd level character had taken 3d4 acid damage-ouch!), the slime realized Saïd had a torch in his other hand! The "Fire = bad!" caveman part of the slime's brain (?) reacted by shooting Saïd; the party realized their Alchemist's Fire was the safest way to kill the slime, ending the fight.
Saïd, on 6/20 HP: "Damien, I request your healing."
Damien: "...are you serious? You still have 6 HP." (In the next session, Damien had lost only 4 HP and used Cure Moderate the next turn. He isn't a very popular Cleric)
The party returned to Owlsdale amid much praise. Krampus promised the Illuminated Nights would always offer a bed, free of charge, and whatnot. Thorax was the only unhappy person; the barmaid was murdered before the heroes set out to slay the Jabbawocker...
...but they received a Letter of Recognition for Services Rendered from the Mayor of Owlsdale. "Owlsdale is too poor to readily provide 500gp quest rewards. You must redeem this letter in the city of St. Therissa to the south-west 4 days from here for your reward. I will trust the letter with Eric Decievil, who will accompany you and vouch for your valor."
"And I wish to join you!" The Door, who revealed himself to be a Mimic and took on the appropriate name "Hingebeard" decided that the life of a door was not fit for him, and that he would be more happy to accompany a band of heroes as their mobile treasure chest.
Entire Party: "...I don't trust Eric. Keep an eye on him; make sure he doesn't run off with our letter."
Travelling to St. Therissa proves to be wildly uneventful; I don't believe in random encounters. After 2 days, however, they run into the Harold Farm, where a family of gnomes is fighting off a dire badger attack. They arrive too late to help, but see the devastation; 2 gnomes and their 13 starving children have had their livelihood destroyed by "Some ******* spike-eared bastard elf druid" in the forest not far away. The party decided to lend their services.
The forest was nonthreatening, until a dire badger started following them, then a second one, then three... and then OMFG a giant bear that can cast spells attacked them!
They reduced the "Bear" to 1HP, who morphed into his Elf form and surrendered, somewhat. He accused the gnome farmers as destroying the land, yadda yadda, all the crap that Druids accuse not-hippies of doing.
After several hours of negotiation, the PCs convinced the gnomes to make all of their animals free-range and to grow trees on their property. In exchange, Valencia the Druid would watch over them and their now-free animals, and fairly hunt an appropriate amount to feed the family. Then, the PCs got back on the road.
"Your Kobold is gone, and he has your letter."
The "Oh... ****" face everyone had was a great way to end a session. But did they seriously expect I was going to give 2nd level characters 500 GP? I'm not that generous.
So, how good/bad for a new GM?