Dumb ideas for characters

[malonkey1]

Much like the threads Horrible Campaign Ideas (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?355245-Horrible-Campaign-Ideas) and 1001+ ways to screw with your DM/Party (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?350063-1001-ways-to-screw-with-your-DM-Party), this is a thread devoted to terrible ideas. Specifically, really terrible character concepts. These ideas can be as fleshed out or as vague as you like, this is a thread for the amusement of all.

1. A warrior who uses a living duck as his only weapon. His armor is composed entirely of duck feathers.

[Renen]

2. Warrior that uses a halfing for a weapon

http://cdn.obsidianportal.com/assets/50302/Halfling_Throw.jpg

No wait, its a GREAT idea!

[Kazudo]

3. A Bard who believes in his heart of hearts that he's actually a Barbarian.

[Irk]

3. A Bard who believes in his heart of hearts that he's actually a Barbarian.
Bardbarian wielding an Axophone?

4 An Illithid Savant who goes out of their way to collect every instance of the Smite class feature.

[sideswipe]

i'm currently playing a guy who likes to throw great swords. because i thought it would be fun.

or, my favourite optimised build the assplomancer (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?238255-New-amp-Improved-Assplomancer)

[Alefiend]

Hodor. Commoner with massive strength and con, tanked mental stats (4-6), and nothing else.

[Dienekes]

One of my favorite characters I've ever done was Sir Squeeb, the self proclaimed Goblin Knight. A pathfinder goblin cavalier small size, strength penalty
(he used knightly, non-finesse weapons), refused to sneak up on his enemy as it wasn't honorable (the only thing goblins are good at) and had a mount with a slower movement speed than him. I don't think he contributed meaningfully to the campaign once.

[Bullet06320]

a druid with a cow for an animal companion, just cuz I wanted fresh milk every morning.
the cow didn't last long in the first dungeuon

[Val666]

5. Monk 20. Because monk 20

[SoraWolf7]

6. Artificer wit Vow of Poverty. Because you just rendered your infusions useless since you can't have the gold to spend on them.

[Shin]

7. A paladin of some fertility goddess. Has to offer every female he comes across to gift her with the blessing of offspring (offer to impregnate her).

[inertia709]

8. A merfolk sorcerer who specializes in fire magic, with the draconic (red dragon) bloodline. My group still makes fun of the player who came up with this one sometimes.

[Azraile]

8. A merfolk sorcerer who specializes in fire magic, with the draconic (red dragon) bloodline. My group still makes fun of the player who came up with this one sometimes.
WHY thats helarius

9. A gnome monk.

[rg9000]

2. Warrior that uses a halfing for a weapon

http://cdn.obsidianportal.com/assets/50302/Halfling_Throw.jpg

No wait, its a GREAT idea!

He could use this item (http://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/Bag_of_Halflings_(3.5e_Equipment))!

[Inevitability]

10. Play a Shrieker.

11. As 10, except apply the Dustform and Dream Element templates.

If you want to annoy your friends, claim all the time that your character is 'so OP' because he can't get ability damaged/drained.

[With a box]

12
A halfing dual dagger ranger who dumps all mental stats

[Coventry]

13. High HD creature taking levels of Truenamer and a Vow of Poverty. An Ogre (4 RHD+2LA)/14 Truenamer, for example.

Can't own the magic that boosts the skill check. Can't reach the capstone until Epic levels, can't do much of anything.

[malonkey1]

12
A halfing dual dagger ranger who dumps all mental stats

:belkar: I see what you did there.

[Thiyr]

13. The muffinmancer. Literally, a wizard obsessed with muffins. Muffin everything. Muffin potions, bag of endless muffins, the works. (Was amusing first session. Got old after the next two or three. Was happy he swapped characters after the first...7 or so sessions).


14. One that I'm tempted to do regardless of how bad it is: Frank, Accidental Paladin. (Bit of background. Friend was typing "oh dear", and typoed "Oh deae". Cue me pretending like they were petitioning a deity. We decided that Deae is the God of Accidents. Everything about him is a screw up. They got divinity by accident. They solve problems by contrived mistakes, etc, etc. Came up with the idea for Frank after that. Ceremony for a new paladin to be chosen by the gods. They know who its supposed to be, but they have to go through the formal motions. They set up some ritual, anoint the chosen one or something. Frank is...lets say, the janitor. A regular guy who just happens to be there. No training, no nothin'. Stumbles into the ceremony at the worst moment, and ends up interrupting such that he is the one chosen. And it can't be taken back. Everyone is pissed, but Frank, well, he's been chosen now. Nothing anyone can do. So he has to go out and do the work of the gods. People eventually recognize "Well s***. It's a freakin' paladin of Deae. Gods save us." Paladin with no major skills whatsoever, just a heaping pile of luck feats. Maybe a touch of drunken master in there. Because nothin' says "whoops, sorry buddy, didn't mean to do that" like drunken master._

[Azraile]

15. A stone body war forged with an interior green slime infection, he likes to give people hugs. Int/Wisdom 4.

[ShurikVch]

7. A paladin of some fertility goddess. Has to offer every female he comes across to gift her with the blessing of offspring (offer to impregnate her).
http://img.blog.zdn.vn/27193534.jpg


13. The muffinmancer. Literally, a wizard obsessed with muffins. Muffin everything. Muffin potions, bag of endless muffins, the works.
http://twentypercentcooler.net/data/sample/6a/c8/6ac89f062053c8eb80177b0ad1d742cc.jpg?1343649956

[Riston]

16. Elven fighter optimised to fight with a bow as a melee weapon.

[Azraile]

17. Fairy fighter optimized to fight with cantrips as melee weapons.

[The Viscount]

6. Artificer wit Vow of Poverty. Because you just rendered your infusions useless since you can't have the gold to spend on them.

To the best of my knowledge its not necessary to spend money to use many infusions, and as a warforged you could infuse yourself. BoED gives rules for using xp in place of gp for crafting, but that's a dangerous game to play with an artificer, and spending all your time making toys for other people to play with is a game few are selfless enough to play.


8. A merfolk sorcerer who specializes in fire magic, with the draconic (red dragon) bloodline. My group still makes fun of the player who came up with this one sometimes.

What I find hilarious is that WotC believed in the spirit of this so much they made the feat Steam Magic for it.

18. Buomman Truenamer

[Elkad]

7. A paladin of some fertility goddess. Has to offer every female he comes across to gift her with the blessing of offspring (offer to impregnate her).

Covered that one in the other thread.


I've played in a game with a Paladin who worshiped a fertility goddess. It was his sacred duty to offer to impregnate every female we met. A paladin of a pleasure/lust deity could have a similar obligation, without the required baby-making, just some good fun.

[Shin]

Sorry, Elkad - I didn't find the thread again. I only meant to further spread that hilarious idea :smallwink:

19. A kender. Simple as that.

20. A nonhumanoid who's favorite food are elves. In a group with elves as team mates.

[Shieldbunny]

21. An anthropomorphic bear rogue. Spend all your time thinking of elaborate ways to steal picnic baskets.

[Azraile]

21. An anthropomorphic bear rogue. Spend all your time thinking of elaborate ways to steal picnic baskets.

No, just... no.

[Callin]

No, just... no.

Cus we all know as a "Smarter than the Average Bear" he was a Factotum

[Thiyr]

http://twentypercentcooler.net/data/sample/6a/c8/6ac89f062053c8eb80177b0ad1d742cc.jpg?1343649956

Oh, I wish it was done that well. I really, really do.

Also, in response to 21...

22. This
http://i.imgur.com/wkZhp.png

[Dunsparce]

23. A gnome Druid 10/Beast Master 10 with all of his animal companions being hawks, with his feats being Exotic Weapon Proficiency: Hawk, Animal Cohort(For another hawk), Skill Focus: Hand Animal(for Beastmaster) and all other feats being Animal Friends(From races of Faerun) for more Hawks. Main thing is throwing hawks at people. In the end the character has 4 Animal Companion Hawks, an Animal Cohort Hawk, and 8 Animal Friend Hawks.

[Dienekes]

14. One that I'm tempted to do regardless of how bad it is: Frank, Accidental Paladin. (Bit of background. Friend was typing "oh dear", and typoed "Oh deae". Cue me pretending like they were petitioning a deity. We decided that Deae is the God of Accidents. Everything about him is a screw up. They got divinity by accident. They solve problems by contrived mistakes, etc, etc. Came up with the idea for Frank after that. Ceremony for a new paladin to be chosen by the gods. They know who its supposed to be, but they have to go through the formal motions. They set up some ritual, anoint the chosen one or something. Frank is...lets say, the janitor. A regular guy who just happens to be there. No training, no nothin'. Stumbles into the ceremony at the worst moment, and ends up interrupting such that he is the one chosen. And it can't be taken back. Everyone is pissed, but Frank, well, he's been chosen now. Nothing anyone can do. So he has to go out and do the work of the gods. People eventually recognize "Well s***. It's a freakin' paladin of Deae. Gods save us." Paladin with no major skills whatsoever, just a heaping pile of luck feats. Maybe a touch of drunken master in there. Because nothin' says "whoops, sorry buddy, didn't mean to do that" like drunken master._

So... Po from Kung Fu Panda? That's awesome.

[weckar]

24. Any character that mistakenly retrains themselves into a time paradox.

[ShurikVch]

22. This
http://i.imgur.com/wkZhp.png

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ARkDodxun2A

[pothocboots]

A warblade who specializes in sundering katanas with sticks of butter.

[Azraile]

Oh, I wish it was done that well. I really, really do.

Also, in response to 21...

22. This
http://i.imgur.com/wkZhp.png

ok I would like to see this one..... o.o lol how would you do that? o.o

[Thiyr]

ok I would like to see this one..... o.o lol how would you do that? o.o

Simple! (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ez1IgYWkzs8#t=180)

(probably just an awakened bear and some very good disguise/bluff rolls.)

[Azraile]

the most an awakened bear can have for charisma seams to be 12... that makes that part kinda hard lol

[Regissoma]

25:Druken Master who uses an enemy to smack other enemies dealing his unarmed damage. For added fun put a few levels in Bloodstorm blade Throw said enemy to hit your enemy and have said enemy come back to you.

[Thiyr]

the most an awakened bear can have for charisma seams to be 12... that makes that part kinda hard lol

9, actually (6+1d3). That said, the bear would also be ECL 10 by hit dice alone (assuming polar bear. Becuase c'mon. Polar bear), so they could probably buy their way into higher skill checks as well.

(Or you could use shenanigans to continually re-awaken yourself, but that'd be a bit shenanigans-y)

[Shieldbunny]

26. Play an awakened rat artificer, take leadership to get another awakened rat as a cohort. Give him a really high intelligence but don't pump charisma, make him CE with a fixation on world domination.

[Azraile]

9, actually (6+1d3). That said, the bear would also be ECL 10 by hit dice alone (assuming polar bear. Becuase c'mon. Polar bear), so they could probably buy their way into higher skill checks as well.

(Or you could use shenanigans to continually re-awaken yourself, but that'd be a bit shenanigans-y)

what kind of shenanigans?? hehe

and can say Intensify Spell was used for 12 charisma flat >.>

[Auramis]

Bardbarian wielding an Axophone?

Is no one going to acknowledge this genius pun? Bravo, Irk.

[Vorandril]

26. Play an awakened rat artificer, take leadership to get another awakened rat as a cohort. Give him a really high intelligence but don't pump charisma, make him CE with a fixation on world domination.

Do the Rescue Rangers next! Tiered by Leadership feats!

[Doc_Maynot]

Simple! (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ez1IgYWkzs8#t=180)

(probably just an awakened bear and some very good disguise/bluff rolls.)

Alternatively, be a Human Factotum with one level of each the Brown Bear class and Werebear Template class. (http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=dnd/sp/20031114a)

[Dugong]

27. The Arseplomancer

http://brilliantgameologists.com/boards/index.php?topic=2287.75;wap2

[malonkey1]

27. The Arseplomancer

http://brilliantgameologists.com/boards/index.php?topic=2287.75;wap2

Somebody already mentioned that.

[Yael]

5. Monk 20. Because monk 20

You won, this time.

[Libertad]

27. Insufferably racist elf who the setting implies is "right."

[Beardbarian]

5. Monk 20. Because monk 20

D&D Rule 1 - You don't talk about Monk 20.

28.Elf Wizard with dump Int pretending to be the stronger Fighter in the world. 'Cause longsword proficiency is just OP

[Azraile]

Make a char with bluff, disguise, slide of hand, and speed levels so ridiculously high you pull of shenanigans along the lines of Roger on American Dad.... stuff like:

Instantaneously changing disguises

Change disguises, slowly, RIGHT in fount of some one while they watch youand when you are done you still fool them.

Have so many disguises and persona one takes on a life of it's own and becomes it's own separate person.

Have so many disguises and persona that you can go some where to meet some one and be suprized that the person you are meeting is you.

That you some how manage to be in disguise watching yourself in disguise, and the other you disappears because you realize this.... and you are now confused as to what just happened.

You can be naked wearing only a vest and people think you are wearing a full set of clothing.

[Kazudo]

29.

Build a character with the right amount to crunch to suggest if not outright guarantee mental issues. Make him appear crazy by metagaming certain things in character about the game. Stuff like saying in character "Gah I botched that roll." or "Oh look, another elf gish."

29.b

Make the character metagame the wrong game. "That's weird, why would Friend Computer want us to go into this dungeon? I need to find a confession booth to meet with my secret so- UH. MY DEITY. OR SOMETHING. PLEASE DON'T KILL ME I CAN'T AFFORD ANYMORE CLONES WITHOUT GENETIC DRIFT"

Meanwhile the dwarf barbarian just holds his mace up and looks at the rest of the group pleading to put the guy out of the group's misery.

[Donny_Green]

30. A wizard with a 10 intelligence and a 18 strength.

Edit: ooo and if we wanna go really silly, make him an evocation specialist.

Call it the newbies wizard, because it only sounds good to a complete and total newbie.

[Vhaidara]

31. This is actually something two of my friends and I are planning. 3 characters, all brothers, all orcs. Warmage using exclusive Fire and Heat spells. Sorcerer using exclusively Electricity spells. Wizard using exclusively Earth spells.

STORM, EARTH, AND FIRE, HEED OUR CALL!

32. Play a Warforged. Have no understanding of things like eating, resting, sexual innuendo, etc. Never wise up, no matter how many times things are explained to you. State that the information is unimportant. Then, when the party is on the verge of kicking you out because you're an annoying piece of junk and they haven't slept in a month (you've been smithing every night), start laughing because you got it all along and were just screwing with them.

[Thiyr]

what kind of shenanigans?? hehe

and can say Intensify Spell was used for 12 charisma flat >.>


Weeeeeeellllll

Get a bear. Any type you want. Hi bear!

Awaken it. Bam! free int, cha, and HD.

Now, apply a healthy dose of Polymorph Any Object. Shazam! Awakened Bear now has normal bear intelligence, but still has its improved charisma. Also, it has the animal type again.

Wait, animal type? SCORE! Awaken that sucker! it gets int and cha again!

Oh no, eventually the bear is gonna have a good enough save DC due to weight of HD that you can't make the save for awaken! Woe is us!...Well, woe, or level drain! Get a cleric to whack your bear with a controlled wight as many times as needed till those pesky HD go away.

Then repeat as much as you want till you have a CHA where you want it on your new bear overlord. Proceed to get mauled by the poor, abused bear while he goes out to explore the world, a civilized and clearly human that isn't a bear in any way man.



29.b

Make the character metagame the wrong game. "That's weird, why would Friend Computer want us to go into this dungeon? I need to find a confession booth to meet with my secret so- UH. MY DEITY. OR SOMETHING. PLEASE DON'T KILL ME I CAN'T AFFORD ANYMORE CLONES WITHOUT GENETIC DRIFT"

I actually really want to do this someday in a V:tR game, but play it for legitimate psychosis. take what should be silly-crazy and make it "i am legitimately concerned for him an he needs psychiatric help" crazy. Because that's what world of darkness is for.

But yea, in d&d? Hilarious.

[Kazudo]

But yea, in d&d? Hilarious.

And actually the idea was one I used not too long ago. The character metagamed World of Warcraft in D&D.

[SimonMoon6]

Here's one I had in mind (as an NPC) for a potential 3.0 game (I don't know if it works in 3.5; I never updated). The idea was that the party would need an extra member and they'd have to choose between several losers. This is the one I remember:

33. A ranger with favored enemy: plants (who might go into the Foe Hunter prestige class from Masters of the Wild).

I liked the idea of a ranger trying to track plants (since plants generally don't move). And pretty much most of the "favored enemy" bonuses won't do much against plants (the damage bonus for example won't apply). The Foe Hunter class does give some bonuses that would actually help, but gaining spell resistance against spells cast by plants is not too likely to be relevant.

[Vhaidara]

Doesn't work in 3.5, since FE works on anything. In fact, plant is a moderately viable favored enemy, since with Swift Hunter builds (ranger/scout), you can skirmish (like sneak attack as far as when it applies) FEs that are normally immune.

[Azraile]

29.Build a character with the right amount to crunch to suggest if not outright guarantee mental issues. Make him appear crazy by metagaming certain things in character about the game. Stuff like saying in character "Gah I botched that roll." or "Oh look, another elf gish."

Hey that's a ligament super power... see Deadpool. Thought I dought any sane DM would let you have fourth wall sense. (though I was in a party that the DM let some one have it)


32. Play a Warforged. Have no understanding of things like eating, resting, sexual innuendo, etc. Never wise up, no matter how many times things are explained to you. State that the information is unimportant. Then, when the party is on the verge of kicking you out because you're an annoying piece of junk and they haven't slept in a month (you've been smithing every night), start laughing because you got it all along and were just screwing with them.

I don't think this would ever work.... they would just be like... you don't want to waist time sleeping, fine go on with out us.

[Vhaidara]

It worked because they needed me to be on night watch so they could all sleep.

[Faily]

29.b

Make the character metagame the wrong game. "That's weird, why would Friend Computer want us to go into this dungeon? I need to find a confession booth to meet with my secret so- UH. MY DEITY. OR SOMETHING. PLEASE DON'T KILL ME I CAN'T AFFORD ANYMORE CLONES WITHOUT GENETIC DRIFT"

Meanwhile the dwarf barbarian just holds his mace up and looks at the rest of the group pleading to put the guy out of the group's misery.

We actually had an NPC in Vampire: The Masquerade who was, of course, a Malkavian, who truly believed in the Almighty Friend Computer. He wore an all yellow-suit and was called Smiley because he always smiled and asked us "are you happy, citizen?". Also reminded us that the computer was watching.

[Kazudo]

Sounded like fun.

Fun IS mandatory.

Smile-Y-GUY-3

[Telok]

An UtterCold Assault necromancer who sends his undead advanced wyvern zombie into combat, letting it die, while spending six rounds buffing himself before entering melee combat and getting smacked down.

True story, the guy's an idiot.

[Ranting Fool]

21. An anthropomorphic bear rogue. Spend all your time thinking of elaborate ways to steal picnic baskets.

Ah thanks for that :smallbiggrin: needed a good chuckle to counteract the endless building work going on just outside my window :smalltongue:

34 A Halfling Barbarian using monkey grip to wield a larger weapon. My players laughed at Krull for his small stature... but a leap attacking shock trooper doing a few points of damage less because of slightly lower strength and a smaller weapon size is hardly a big deal. :smallbiggrin:

[Azraile]

35. A teacher/instructor cursed to always lie.

[weckar]

36. Literally Batman in D&D.

[malonkey1]

37.

Optimize Profession[Cabbage Merchant].
Be terrorized by the Avatar.
???
Profit.

[weckar]

37.

Optimize Profession[Cabbage Merchant].
Be terrorized by the Avatar.
???
Profit.

Funny, I don't remember any cabbages in any of the Ultima games....

[Kazyan]

38.

Acquire Boots of Skating and some Boot Blades, refluffed into a magical skateboard and its trucks (the metal axles). Take levels in a ToB class. Rename all your maneuvers into skateboard tricks. Kill monsters by doing 360° kickflips into them.

[PraxisVetli]

38.

Acquire Boots of Skating and some Boot Blades, refluffed into a magical skateboard and its trucks (the metal axles). Take levels in a ToB class. Rename all your maneuvers into skateboard tricks. Kill monsters by doing 360° kickflips into them.

Be an Anthropromomorphoric Dire Hawk.
First name Tony.

[AlsoD]

Be an Anthropromomorphoric Dire Hawk.
First name Tony.

An anthropomorphic hawk named Tobias. Spend the whole campaign whining about how you used to be a human and how great it was.

[mr_odd]

An anthropomorphic hawk named Tobias. Spend the whole campaign whining about how you used to be a human and how great it was.

That's..... That's from the book about the kids who get alien powers and can turn into animals, right?

[Vhaidara]

Animorphs, yes. And book series.

[Jeff the Green]

n: A sociophobic beguiler
n+1: A hemophobic fighter.
n+2: A hemophiliac fighter.
n+3: An agoraphobic druid.
n+4: An arachnophobic cleric of Lolth.
n+5: A bibliophobic wizard.
n+6: An equinophobic paladin.
n+7: A phonophobic bard.
n+8: A sesquipedalophobic truenamer.
n+9: A pneumatophobic binder.

[mr_odd]

Animorphs, yes. And book series.

It has been so long since I have heard of/seen that, let alone read one of them.