Deities of Olarion

[spikeof2010]

Writing this up for a campaign I'm currently in.

Will try to update on a daily basis.

Neutral Good
Intermediate Deity
Corsai, The Holy Flower, The Goddess of the Land
Domains: Earth, Luck, Plant, Community, Good

Corsai appears as a tall female humanoid with pale green skin. Her body is covered with countless vines, on which many flowers bloom. Her torso, forearms, and forelegs are stony and uneven in appearance, with various gems embedded into them. Lastly, she carries an oaken staff, with a large opal for its focus, as a result, opals are usually considered lucky by various farmers and druids.


Lawful Neutral
Greater Deity
Dun'them, The Great Keeper, The God of Technology and Magic
Domains: Lore, Magic, Technology, Artifice

Dun'them appears as a stout male humanoid, with tanned skin and ink splotches occasionally blemishing the skin. He wears simple scholar attire and always totes around his tome of Grand Knowledge, which contains records of every major event that has happened in the universe.

Chaotic Neutral
Intermediate Deity
Alidila, The Divine Conductor, The Goddess of Sound
Domains: Music, Connections, Language, Legend

Alidia has the appearance of a female humanoid with crystalline white eyes. Her brass skin gently vibrates and hums whenever she speaks. She's favored among bards and linguists.

Lawful Neutral
Intermediate Deity
Galidon, the Holy Shield, The Guaurdian
Domains: Law, Strength, War, Courage

Galidon appears as a stout goblin, who's skin and eyes are made of pure silver, which glows when exposed to the radiance of the sun. Galidon carries around a tower shield with a gold heart emblem.

Neutral Evil
Intermediate Deity
Horical, the Heretic, The Bleak
Domains:: Evil, Darkness, Fate, Decay

Horical appears as a bleached white human with long, spindly arms who's fingers extend to his knees. He speaks with a hoarse voice and was the result after the decay of the god, Lo'Hadra.


Chaotic Evil
Lesser Deity
Caderock, the Sinful, the Anger Sun
Domains:: Fire, Chaos, Evil

Caderock appears to be a small celestial object resembling the sun, who's flares shape to form long legs and arms. Caderock burns anything that looks upon it, and burns anything he looks at.


Reserved for Technology Domain

[Composer99]

As a matter of formatting, does it not make sense for the deity's name to be a bit more prominent in introducing it (e.g. at the top of the entry, possibly in larger size and bolded/italicized)?

As a matter of content, I don't recognize three of Alidila's (nice palindrome) domains (Connections, Language, Legend). Are they from some non-core material (I only have access to the online SRD these days) or are they also homebrewed?

Also re: content, shouldn't the deities have their alignment-related domains (that is, Good domain for Corsai, Law domain for Dun'them, Chaos domain for Alidila) in addition to their other domains?

[spikeof2010]

Not all gods are the shining representation of their alignment, most just fall there because they fit, although, a few truly represent the embodiment of that alignment.

Also updated.

[BWR]

Time to be cruel: why should we care about these gods?
We are given one or two lines about what they look like and who likes to worship them but nothing about their goals, their personalities, their history, their relationships with each other, quirks, demands and dogma; nothing. Nothing to interest us, nothing to entice us. At this point they are nothing but lifeless images painted over a collection of domains.

Unless you wish for the gods to be distant to the point where they basically just give people spells for some reason and don't bother with anything else, you need to give them personality. It seems as though you have some ideas about who these beings are, based on your last post, but you have given the readers no information to work with. We can't read your mind. You have to write this out for us to have any real feeling for it.