[Magic Item] - For a Laugh...

[Roethke]

If your party needs a laugh...

Magic Item - Orbs of Brass

These polished brass spheres are about two-inches in diameter, and always come in pairs. A user must clink them together to generate an effect identical to that of Remove Fear on all those within 10 feet. The Orbs emit a clear, ringing tone when the user does this.

[Still working on this]
Abjuration, Remove Fear, CL ??, cost ~1800gp?


Magic Item - Orbs of Brass, Greater

These Orbs are similar to their smaller cousins but are about four-inches in diameter, and are exceedingly rare. A user must clink them together to render all those within 10 feet immune to fear effects for 10 minutes. The Orbs emit a loud, low, ringing tone when the user does this.

[Still working on this]
Abjuration, Remove Fear, Spell Immuniy CL ??, cost ~10,000gp?

[ExHunterEmerald]

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Brilliant.

I have another version.
Orbs of Blue

These spheres of metal are cold to the touch. When clicked together, your entire party gains Fire Resistance 10.

[knightsaline]

I don't get it (unless its a conkers bad fur day reference "brass balls, polished to the Nth degree")

[Deuce]

Very funny, I lol'ed.

You know, April 1st is coming up - perhaps this thread could morph into some sort of "Funny/Joke Magic Items" thread, or even contest?

[Roderick_BR]

I should show a list of magic weapons I saw on a magazine once.

Tease:
Gladius. The sword of the mighty.
A finely crafted short sword, with a powerful blade that deals an additional magical damage.
System: Whenever the blade (+1 enhancement) hits, a large magical explosion (1d8 damage) erupits from the target. Unfortunatelly, it affects the wielder as well... (it was back in ADnD, before Burst weapons. Maybe a beta version?)

The unblockable boomerang.
A magical boomerang, that when thrown, turns invisible, making it almost impossible for a the target to block or dodge.
System: When it's thrown, the boomerang gets invisible. The target loses all Dexterity, dodge and shield bonus to his AC. The boomerang returns before the beggining of the thrower's turn.
Detail: The boomerang turns back visible only after hitting something, so, if you missed...
"Where's that thing? Ouch!"

Jacket of energy immunity.
A very thin jacket made of polished leather. It's completely immune to any form of energy attacks.
System: No kind of energy attack (lightining, fire, ice) can damage it.
... The wearer? I didn't say anything about what happens to the wearer...

[Collin152]

Fear not, for I can endure this fire breath by Reducing myself and coverng all around me with the Jacket! Fetal Positioning wizards ftw!

[Altair_the_Vexed]

I don't get it (unless its a conkers bad fur day reference "brass balls, polished to the Nth degree")

Neither do I.

Are y'all making reference to an American thing?

[Indon]

Wait, wait, I got some orbs to post, too.

Orbs of Steel
These steel spheres are approximately two inches in diameter, and always come in pairs. When held on your person (such as in a pouch around the waist), and you are struck with a critical hit in melee, the magic of the orbs activate.

The damage from any critical hit recieved by the possessor of the orbs in melee is delayed by 1d6 rounds, as are all secondary effects associated with that damage. Only one critical hit can be delayed in this fashion at one time.

Transmutation, Stoneskin CL ?, Market Value 20,000 GP.

Someone needs to make another pair of orbs which, when used, cause everyone nearby to break out in slow-dancing.

[roadkiller]

Ahem, shove your minds in a gutter for a while and you might get it. If not, think of synonyms for orbs. If you're still not getting it... Well, I don't know what to tell you.

[ExHunterEmerald]

Neither do I.

Are y'all making reference to an American thing?

Someone known for crazy levels of courage and bravery is said to have brass...
Well.

[Demented]

These should provide an armor check penalty.

*clak clak clak clak clak*
"Okay, what the **** is that?!"
"My balls of steel."
"I'm sorry I asked."

[Collin152]

These should provide an armor check penalty.

*clak clak clak clak clak*
"Okay, what the **** is that?!"
"My balls of steel."
"I'm sorry I asked."
I fail to see how having Iron Bals on you will hinder your tumbling. And Hiding. Remaining silent, sure, but not remaining hidden.

[Roderick_BR]

Two more:
Explosive orbs
Small grenade-like red and yellow orbs, that explode upon contact, dealing 5d6 points of fire damage (reflex 14 half) plus 1 point of fire splash damage.
"See, this is how it works. I throw it up, and hit with my staff to throw it at the target, like th..." - last words of the wizard that created this magic item.

Improved explosive orbs
A improved version, these red, yellow, and blue orbs doesn't explode upon contact, but when the command world is spoken, dealing 5d6 points of fire damage (reflex 14 half) plus 1 point of fire splash damage.
"This version is safer to use. You throw it at the target, like this, and say the command word: EXPLODE!" - Last words of the wizard that created the improved version, forgetting he had a belt full of improved exploding orbs.

[mockingbyrd7]

Hmm... I assume that the "orbs" are a reference to male genitalia or perhaps breasts. It didn't really strike me as amusing.

/party-pooper

Ooh! Ooh! I've got an item!

/un-party-pooper?

The Staff of Stupidity-Strikes

Identical to a +1 Quarterstaff, except that when you strike your opponent anywhere below the torso, (50% chance, may change at DM's discretion for differing creatures) the target must make a DC 22 Will Save or exclaim, "Icky icky icky! I like pudding!" This exclamation causes the target to start laughing uncontrollably, as in a hideous laughter spell (1 round of incapacitation).

And another one! WARNING: SERIOUSLY OVERPOWERED!!!!!!!

Lightsaber

The weapon of choice for force-wielders such as Jedi and Sith, lightsabers are very powerful and give a variety of advantages.
(A standard lightsaber is considered +2; a +5 Lightsaber would be considered "+7".)

Damage: 2-12 +2
Attack Bonus: +2
Crit: 19-20, x3

Slice - A lightsaber can cut through almost anything, and because of that quality, can carve right through most weapons, armor, and other objects, even heavy steel doors and walls.
Effect: 50% chance on attack roll to ignore non-magical armor bonuses (i.e. regular armor that provided 4 armor class would be completely negated).
25% chance to destroy opponent's non-magical weapon if the opponent attacks and misses.
Can used to "pick" any non-magical lock or cut through any non-magical object.

Throw Lightsaber - A lightsaber can be used as a thrown weapon without penalty.
Effect: See above.

Call Lightsaber - After being thrown, the lightsaber returns to the thrower's hand. Also, as a free action, a Jedi can call his lightsaber to him if he is disarmed.

Powerful enough for ya?

[alchemy.freak]

oh the wit, lol, brass balls