The Lucifer Job: Allow me to introduce myself.

[D20ragon]

The letter arrives without warning. One minute, the desk in front of you was empty, the floor of the dungeon barren, your mailbox a void.
The next, a crisp envelope, marked with a owl stamp is there, smugly waiting for you to notice. There is no return address.
As you slit the letter open, a strange frangrence fills the air. Perfume, not quite masking the scent of brimstone.

Greetings!
I trust that if you are reading this, you are a foolish risk taker, a selfless hero or a power hungry psychopath.
I also accept any one possessing strong to middling competence and flair.
In other words, if you are reading this, you should be an Adventurer.
If you are not, there has been some mistake. A mix up, mishap, or accident.
Just to allow for this, this letter will wipe your memory several seconds after you've opened it.
There should be about 15 seconds left now. If you are an Adventurer, I presume you will be able to do something about this. Consider it a audition.
Ciao.
The letter begins to chat slightly, heating up and glowing golden visibly. The light presses on your eyes, and soon you'll only see spots.

[Archmage1]

After mistakenly entering the portal out of Faerie, Violet had flown around for several hours, quite confused, knowing almost nothing of this world, and even less of what she could do to get home, and persuade Mab to come and see her lovely garden. As time passed, she got quite sad, not knowing what to do, and she lands on a tree stump, a fallen forest giant, hoping to think of something.
Just as she was about to give up, something changed. A letter appears, and she goes to pick it up, although it was larger than she was. She ends up balancing it on the stump.
That's a nice owl! But what is he sending?
She starts carefully opening the letter, taking her time, opening the letter without tearing it, or cutting it, before she pulls out the single sheet of paper contained within, and reads it.
Maybe whomever sent this can help me get home! But I didn't see them, but they must be here somewhere, because they delivered the letter!
She flies up, and starts looking around, not noticing the charring of the letter(And the stamp)

[alanek2002]

"Hrmph. My Parent can't tell me what to do! I won't be a Evil minion! I'll find a way to work for -"
Hedratis stops, puzzeld, as the letter appears. He carefully melts the wax off the top of the letter, noting the shape, and then forces a tentacle into one of his gauntlets to pull out the letter.

And then he basically jumps on it, reading the letter by telling where the ink is on the paper as his acids attempt to dissolve it.

"This person, apparently..."


Its somewhat hard to write for a non-human physiology. I can't use sigh, shrugged, or any number of other words.
Immune to mind affecting. ^.^
If it is our trasnport to meet each other, please make mine immune to acid, as I can only really read it by touch. (Blind sight and blind.)

[Troacctid]

Bartholomew is in his Office of Evil when a mysterious envelope materializes on his Desk of Doom. He scans the unopened envelope with his magic detector. The device clicks and crackles, picking up a magic aura.

Bartholomew ponders for a moment.

"...Eh, what's the worst that can happen?" He opens it and reads the contents.

"Well that's weird. How am I supposed to reply to this thing, exactly?" Bartholomew clicks a button on his wristband, and with a fwump, the letter explodes into scraps.

[Gaius]

Will had been pleased to talk a couple of friends of his from an old pack into joining up with him. They weren't willing to look into removing their lycanthropy or adopting new mystery curses, but at least they were open to something new. Still, much as he welcomed their company most of the time, the teenage duo could at times be... difficult. "Yes, I'm sure what's at the end of this cave will be worth it. No, I don't care what it smells like in here. If you're really that hungry, there are plenty of bats to snatch out of the air."

Fortunately, a diversion presents itself. After a moment's surprise, he snatches the envelope out of the air, and motions Korin a little closer with the torch. The two kids pull their noses back from the wafting aroma, and he can't blame them; it's not a pleasant mingling of scents. Still, Will shrugs and gives it a read. "'... foolish risk taker, a selfless hero or a power hungry psychopath.' Heh, two outta three ain't bad."

The ex-werewolf moves along merrily enough, while his cohorts peer over his shoulder. At least until the last few sentences. Squinting, Will heaves a sigh as the letter begins to make with the magic. "Can't ever be simple, can it?" he asks his companions as he begins tearing the glowing letter to pieces. Always gotta have some kinda memory charm or explosion or surprise teleportation. A simple address and obstacle course are apparently out of fashion."

The brawler sprinkles the little scraps over Korin's torch, aiming to let the flames lick them all. He supposes he's glad enough for the memory wipe penalty: worst-case scenario is the three of them coming up with an explanation for why they're suddenly surrounded by charred confetti. That'd be a fun conversation.

[D20ragon]

After mistakenly entering the portal out of Faerie, Violet had flown around for several hours, quite confused, knowing almost nothing of this world, and even less of what she could do to get home, and persuade Mab to come and see her lovely garden. As time passed, she got quite sad, not knowing what to do, and she lands on a tree stump, a fallen forest giant, hoping to think of something.
Just as she was about to give up, something changed. A letter appears, and she goes to pick it up, although it was larger than she was. She ends up balancing it on the stump.
That's a nice owl! But what is he sending?
She starts carefully opening the letter, taking her time, opening the letter without tearing it, or cutting it, before she pulls out the single sheet of paper contained within, and reads it.
Maybe whomever sent this can help me get home! But I didn't see them, but they must be here somewhere, because they delivered the letter!
She flies up, and starts looking around, not noticing the charring of the letter(And the stamp)

The soft air of the forest echoes with quiet.
Behind you, the letter bursts into a soundless explosion of golden light, which dies as quickly as it began.
In its place, another letter sits, marked with the same owl stamp.


"Hrmph. My Parent can't tell me what to do! I won't be a Evil minion! I'll find a way to work for -"
Hedratis stops, puzzeld, as the letter appears. He carefully melts the wax off the top of the letter, noting the shape, and then forces a tentacle into one of his gauntlets to pull out the letter.

And then he basically jumps on it, reading the letter by telling where the ink is on the paper as his acids attempt to dissolve it.

"This person, apparently..."


Its somewhat hard to write for a non-human physiology. I can't use sigh, shrugged, or any number of other words.
Immune to mind affecting. ^.^
If it is our trasnport to meet each other, please make mine immune to acid, as I can only really read it by touch. (Blind sight and blind.)

The letter bursts into golden light, filling your body. It envelopes you, searching for something, then shakes it's nonexistent head in disgust and turns to go.
In its place, another envelope materializes, identical to the first.


Bartholomew is in his Office of Evil when a mysterious envelope materializes on his Desk of Doom. He scans the unopened envelope with his magic detector. The device clicks and crackles, picking up a magic aura.

Bartholomew ponders for a moment.

"...Eh, what's the worst that can happen?" He opens it and reads the contents.

"Well that's weird. How am I supposed to reply to this thing, exactly?" Bartholomew clicks a button on his wristband, and with a fwump, the letter explodes into scraps.
The ashes glow faintly, resentfully, then vanish, revealing another envelope beneath them.


Will had been pleased to talk a couple of friends of his from an old pack into joining up with him. They weren't willing to look into removing their lycanthropy or adopting new mystery curses, but at least they were open to something new. Still, much as he welcomed their company most of the time, the teenage duo could at times be... difficult. "Yes, I'm sure what's at the end of this cave will be worth it. No, I don't care what it smells like in here. If you're really that hungry, there are plenty of bats to snatch out of the air."

Fortunately, a diversion presents itself. After a moment's surprise, he snatches the envelope out of the air, and motions Korin a little closer with the torch. The two kids pull their noses back from the wafting aroma, and he can't blame them; it's not a pleasant mingling of scents. Still, Will shrugs and gives it a read. "'... foolish risk taker, a selfless hero or a power hungry psychopath.' Heh, two outta three ain't bad."

The ex-werewolf moves along merrily enough, while his cohorts peer over his shoulder. At least until the last few sentences. Squinting, Will heaves a sigh as the letter begins to make with the magic. "Can't ever be simple, can it?" he asks his companions as he begins tearing the glowing letter to pieces. Always gotta have some kinda memory charm or explosion or surprise teleportation. A simple address and obstacle course are apparently out of fashion."

The brawler sprinkles the little scraps over Korin's torch, aiming to let the flames lick them all. He supposes he's glad enough for the memory wipe penalty: worst-case scenario is the three of them coming up with an explanation for why they're suddenly surrounded by charred confetti. That'd be a fun conversation.

Albon and Lanie look at you in confusion.
"Were you expecting mail?"
"More importantly, where the blue hells did that come from?"
"Look!"
Lanie says, gesturing to the second letter in your hand.
"What's the second one?"

[Gaius]

"There, now, these questions I don't mind."

To the first two questions, Will answers, "Your guess is almost as good as mine. Not crazy about that whiff of brimstone, though..." Now that he has a moment, he thinks about that owl; he's seen a lot of emblems and the like in his travels, and tries to see if he can place it.

Untrained Knowledge check: [roll0]

"Let's take a look." He opens the second envelope and gives it a read.

[Archmage1]

Seeing the flash of light, Violet looks at the letter once more.
"A new one! But what happened to the old one. Poor owl... And I still didn't see whomever put it there!"

She flies over once more, and reads it, looking somewhat forlorn as she does so.

[alanek2002]

"..." Hedratis vibrates slightly, then examines the letter for a moment, before repeating his process on the second letter.

"They could have put it all on one letter, and saved me the trouble..."

[Troacctid]

Bartholomew picks up the second envelope impatiently. "This had better not be a waste of my time. Freeze Rays don't build themselves."

He pauses for a beat, pulls out a quill, and jots "Self-assembling weaponry" on the back of the envelope. Then he opens it.

[D20ragon]

"There, now, these questions I don't mind."

To the first two questions, Will answers, "Your guess is almost as good as mine. Not crazy about that whiff of brimstone, though..." Now that he has a moment, he thinks about that owl; he's seen a lot of emblems and the like in his travels, and tries to see if he can place it.

Untrained Knowledge check: [roll0]

"Let's take a look." He opens the second envelope and gives it a read.

The owl stares blankly out at you, daring you to find some memory of it. Alas, you cannot best the stamp, which remains an enigma.

Well, I suppose you're high enough level then. Or at least have a decent Will save.
Now, before you read any further, you must jump up, click your heels three times, and say "I love getting payed!"


Seeing the flash of light, Violet looks at the letter once more.
"A new one! But what happened to the old one. Poor owl... And I still didn't see whomever put it there!"

She flies over once more, and reads it, looking somewhat forlorn as she does so.
The letter pats your head with an imaginary gloved hand.
Oh, don't worry about it. I've got ways. My point is, you presumably like receiving things.
Answer yes to proceed.


"..." Hedratis vibrates slightly, then examines the letter for a moment, before repeating his process on the second letter.

"They could have put it all on one letter, and saved me the trouble..."

But trouble happens to be my firms specialty!
Now, do you like being payed? I'm hoping you do, because I'm unsure of what motivates things like you.


Bartholomew picks up the second envelope impatiently. "This had better not be a waste of my time. Freeze Rays don't build themselves."

He pauses for a beat, pulls out a quill, and jots "Self-assembling weaponry" on the back of the envelope. Then he opens it.

Some do. I've got them. I won't even bother asking if you enjoy instant gratification, because you of course do.
Now, I believe you get the gist of the matter. What manner of payment do you prefer?

[Troacctid]

Some do. I've got them. I won't even bother asking if you enjoy instant gratification, because you of course do.
Now, I believe you get the gist of the matter. What manner of payment do you prefer?

Bartholomew writes on the paper: Powerful magical items. In advance.

[Gaius]

The owl stares blankly out at you, daring you to find some memory of it. Alas, you cannot best the stamp, which remains an enigma. 'Feh. Well, worth a shot.'


Well, I suppose you're high enough level then. Or at least have a decent Will save.
Now, before you read any further, you must jump up, click your heels three times, and say "I love getting payed!" The brawler pauses and gives the letter a blink. He turns back toward Lanie and Albon to see a pair of werewolves looking amused and expectant. "Yyyyyeah, sorry to disappoint, kiddos." Wondering what exact 'save' of his name the letter was talking about, he answered it, "I'll meetcha most of the way."

Will draws in a deep breath and makes the cavern echo with his exclamation: "I love getting paid, I love getting paid, I love getting paid!" With another breath and at a less werewolves-are-holding-their-ears volume, he proceeds, "So much, in fact, that I might just click my heels after I am paid." And on he reads.

[alanek2002]

But trouble happens to be my firms specialty!
Now, do you like being payed? I'm hoping you do, because I'm unsure of what motivates things like you.


"Yes! Of course!" Hedratis vibrates. "Need good magic items to catch the stronger wizards! They taste so Fizzy..."

[Archmage1]

Violet jumps as her head gets patted, and looks around, wide eyed, clearly surprised. Alas, her new survey doesn't reveal anything new, and soon enough, her attention returns to the letter.
"Ok, but you keep sneaking up on me! Are you going to keep on doing that?"

[D20ragon]

Bartholomew writes on the paper: Powerful magical items. In advance.

Sure thing
The devil in the golden owl mask says to you.
You look down, certain that this had been your desk, but now it seems you are sitting in front of it, while a red suited devil stares at you empasively through the eyeholes of his mask.
The air smells of perfume and ambition.
How does a small universe sound?


'Feh. Well, worth a shot.'

The brawler pauses and gives the letter a blink. He turns back toward Lanie and Albon to see a pair of werewolves looking amused and expectant. "Yyyyyeah, sorry to disappoint, kiddos." Wondering what exact 'save' of his name the letter was talking about, he answered it, "I'll meetcha most of the way."

Will draws in a deep breath and makes the cavern echo with his exclamation: "I love getting paid, I love getting paid, I love getting paid!" With another breath and at a less werewolves-are-holding-their-ears volume, he proceeds, "So much, in fact, that I might just click my heels after I am paid." And on he reads.

No, heel clicking is necessary, I'm afraid. It's a reference. You wouldn't understand, the letter continues.


"Yes! Of course!" Hedratis vibrates. "Need good magic items to catch the stronger wizards! They taste so Fizzy..."
Hmmmm. Well, that's a start, anyway,
The devil says. He's sitting legs crossed in a office chair in front of you, smoking a cigar through the beak of his owl mask.
My word. You certainly are an odd one, aren't you.
That is... I mean to say... unique. Yes, that's it. You're unique.


Violet jumps as her head gets patted, and looks around, wide eyed, clearly surprised. Alas, her new survey doesn't reveal anything new, and soon enough, her attention returns to the letter.
"Ok, but you keep sneaking up on me! Are you going to keep on doing that?"

Probably.
A voice this time, soft and deep, like a velvet chair that could swallow you whole.
A flutter of wings sounds behind you, barely audible.
Owl wings, you think.
What's your name?

[alanek2002]

Hmmmm. Well, that's a start, anyway,
The devil says. He's sitting legs crossed in a office chair in front of you, smoking a cigar through the beak of his owl mask.
My word. You certainly are an odd one, aren't you.
That is... I mean to say... unique. Yes, that's it. You're unique.


"So what is it you want me to do?" Hedratis asks, curiosity clear in his voice.

Gah! That Shade of Yellow! My Eyes!

[Gaius]

No, heel clicking is necessary, I'm afraid. It's a reference. You wouldn't understand, the letter continues.As Lanie and Albon rub their ears and glare at him, Will sighs as he reads further. "Well, that's super," he tells it. "Y'know what else is necessary? A compelling reason for me not to chuck this paper in the fire and forget this ever happened -- no, no magic memory wipe, thanks, I got this."

He switches to a more complimentary tone. "Y'see, I'll give you it's a neat little setup you've got here. Very slick, and out of the ordinary. You clearly put a lot of time and effort into it. I see that. I respect that. And I'd be lying if I said I wasn't curious." Back to brass tacks. "But the issue is you seem to think you're not the supplicant here. I don't have trouble getting jobs. So you can take what I've done, you can lemme know why I should do more, or you can have a nice day. What's it gonna be?"

[Archmage1]

Violet jumps, and turns around, startled.
"Hi! I get to meet you! You've been really sneaky! I'm Violet, but who are you, owl?"

[Troacctid]

Sure thing
The devil in the golden owl mask says to you.
You look down, certain that this had been your desk, but now it seems you are sitting in front of it, while a red suited devil stares at you empasively through the eyeholes of his mask.
The air smells of perfume and ambition.
How does a small universe sound?


"What? That doesn't even make sense. Who the hell are you, anyway, and what is it you want?"

[D20ragon]

"So what is it you want me to do?" Hedratis asks, curiosity clear in his voice.

Gah! That Shade of Yellow! My Eyes!
Actually, I'd like you to meet some people. They're going to work with you, so don't eat them quiet yet, understand?
The devil pauses for a moment, his masks feathers rustling as he tilts his head.
Actually, this may take a bit. Sorry.

Yeah, sorry about that. It fits the devils personality, though. I'll tone it down



As Lanie and Albon rub their ears and glare at him, Will sighs as he reads further. "Well, that's super," he tells it. "Y'know what else is necessary? A compelling reason for me not to chuck this paper in the fire and forget this ever happened -- no, no magic memory wipe, thanks, I got this."

He switches to a more complimentary tone. "Y'see, I'll give you it's a neat little setup you've got here. Very slick, and out of the ordinary. You clearly put a lot of time and effort into it. I see that. I respect that. And I'd be lying if I said I wasn't curious." Back to brass tacks. "But the issue is you seem to think you're not the supplicant here. I don't have trouble getting jobs. So you can take what I've done, you can lemme know why I should do more, or you can have a nice day. What's it gonna be?"

You make a fair point, and I'll respect that.
You should do business with me because one way or another, you'll end up working for someone, (your type always do) and at least I've gone to the courtesy of sending you a letter. Some people aren't so refined.
The second reason speaks for itself: I am rich, and powerful. Absurdly so, in fact. And those who work for me tend to follow my example.


Violet jumps, and turns around, startled.
"Hi! I get to meet you! You've been really sneaky! I'm Violet, but who are you, owl?"


Let's not get started on the wrong foot, shall we? I'll be honest. I will give you a fake name, and you should be careful with yours.
The bird shakes it's head, rustling feathers that looked as though Midas himself had a hand in creating them.
Now that that's been cleared all up, I'll be taking you to meet some people in a moment. A few are being stubborn.


"What? That doesn't even make sense. Who the hell are you, anyway, and what is it you want?"
I won't tell you who I am. You are not required to either. In fact, I'd rather you didn't.
My terms are this: You will be a Pawn, but a very rich and powerful one.
I'm willing to give you whatever you require to serve me, and I'll throw in the universe.

The masks beak opens wider, and a cherry rolls onto the table.
There you go. Go on, pick it up!

[Archmage1]

Violet considers the shiny bird before her.
"You're sparkly! And shiny! And pretty! I've never seen an owl like you!"
She flies up closer, to get a better look at him, daring to reach out and touch a feather.
After a moment or two, she realizes what he was saying.
"Not tell my name? But that's... that's..."
Her voice trails off in confusion, as though she can't even comprehend such a thing.
"But... then how would people know me? That's just silly! Are you ok, Owl? I've never heard of an owl being silly before!"

[Troacctid]

Bartholomew eyes the little red object warily. "I was thinking more along the lines of a Ring of Telekinesis or a Rod of Security or something. A miniature universe doesn't seem practical."

[Gaius]

You make a fair point, and I'll respect that.
You should do business with me because one way or another, you'll end up working for someone, (your type always do) and at least I've gone to the courtesy of sending you a letter. Some people aren't so refined.
The second reason speaks for itself: I am rich, and powerful. Absurdly so, in fact. And those who work for me tend to follow my example.

Will nods patiently. He realizes just after doing so that there is some strangeness inherent to nodding at a letter. Still, he retroactively justifies this as a small test of whether whoever's on the other side of this conversation can see him. He has similar such retroactive justifications on mental speed-dial. "Oh, I'll grant it takes a certain kind of refinement to send a letter. You've even sent two! But you can see how it takes a certain other kind of refinement to insist on the heel-clicking thing, yeah?" He shakes his head. "Not sure you come out ahead, here."

"I mean, part of me wants to sign on with this. But I'm also kinda big on deals with a mutual respect thing lately." Will opts to just lay it out there. I'm really not a complicated guy. If it's an interesting job -- could do with some details, actually -- and I think you're not gonna stiff me, you can count on me. Putting the hoop in front's just kinda demeaning. Am I makin' sense?"

[D20ragon]

Violet considers the shiny bird before her.
"You're sparkly! And shiny! And pretty! I've never seen an owl like you!"
She flies up closer, to get a better look at him, daring to reach out and touch a feather.
After a moment or two, she realizes what he was saying.
"Not tell my name? But that's... that's..."
Her voice trails off in confusion, as though she can't even comprehend such a thing.
"But... then how would people know me? That's just silly! Are you ok, Owl? I've never heard of an owl being silly before!"
The owl looks taken aback, it's feathers fluffing up uncomfortably with a slight clanging sound.
I... Erm... I assure you, my dear, I'm completely serious.
Now where was I...? Ah! A... Friend of mine would like so awfully much to meet you. I'm sure if you'd oblige, he'd be terribly thankful. What do you think of that?


Bartholomew eyes the little red object warily. "I was thinking more along the lines of a Ring of Telekinesis or a Rod of Security or something. A miniature universe doesn't seem practical."

Oh, that's true.
The devil nods, the huge mask dipping down and up, down and up.
It's rather high maintenance, in fact. Got to water the little thing, put it out of the light, you know the drill.
But if you stick it through, the literal fruits of a universe will be at your greedy grasping fingertips. A whole million million planes and worlds worth of magic!


Will nods patiently. He realizes just after doing so that there is some strangeness inherent to nodding at a letter. Still, he retroactively justifies this as a small test of whether whoever's on the other side of this conversation can see him. He has similar such retroactive justifications on mental speed-dial. "Oh, I'll grant it takes a certain kind of refinement to send a letter. You've even sent two! But you can see how it takes a certain other kind of refinement to insist on the heel-clicking thing, yeah?" He shakes his head. "Not sure you come out ahead, here."

"I mean, part of me wants to sign on with this. But I'm also kinda big on deals with a mutual respect thing lately." Will opts to just lay it out there. I'm really not a complicated guy. If it's an interesting job -- could do with some details, actually -- and I think you're not gonna stiff me, you can count on me. Putting the hoop in front's just kinda demeaning. Am I makin' sense?"

Oh sure. You'd just rather the hoops were tucked cozily away out of sight.
Most do, I'm just an eternal optimist.
Well then. Mental note taken.

Now, as for details, all I'm at liberty to say right now is you be part of a Pawn, with all that entails. I'll explain the moves and the game a bit more once you've signed.
If it helps any, I'm the sort of... Employer who is ready and willing to give you a small universe.
As a down payment.

By now you are fully aware that your companions are staring at you, quite sure of your sad decline into insanity, and already wondering what home to send you to, and how they'll break the news to your friends and family.

[Archmage1]

Violet continues to look confused.
"Are you sure you're ok?"
She darts around the owl, looking for signs of injury.
"I've never met an owl as confused as you are. Maybe your friend can help you? Can I talk to him? Most people just go away when I want to talk to them, even in my garden! But maybe this time will be different?"

[Gaius]

Oh sure. You'd just rather the hoops were tucked cozily away out of sight.
Most do, I'm just an eternal optimist.
Well then. Mental note taken. Will smirks at the letter. "Huh, never had a letter put words in my mouth before. I think you could work out I'm not so big on the hoops at all. At least if the hoops are on the caliber of 'jump up and click your heels.' You seem smart enough to figure there'd be hoops I'd practically jump through pro bono. Practically," he stresses. Not because it is strictly true, but because he's found it best not to put out too much rope for himself in negotiations.


Now, as for details, all I'm at liberty to say right now is you be part of a Pawn, with all that entails. I'll explain the moves and the game a bit more once you've signed.Will ponders that. "Hrrm... Kinda asking me to take a lot on faith, there, don't ya think? 'Sign here to agree to take up an undisclosed role with an discouraging name and undisclosed responsibilities in an undisclosed situation for an undisclosed length of time, I'll explain everything after the point of no return.'" He shares a chuckle with himself. "I mean, it's pretty ballsy to put that kinda thing out there, you gotta admit. How d'ya bait that hook?"


If it helps any, I'm the sort of... Employer who is ready and willing to give you a small universe.
As a down payment. More blinking from the brawler. Will enjoys hearing himself talk, and so rather enjoys having only to look up from the page to dominate the pace of the conversation. But this kind of idea throws him off his rhythm. "... Uh... A small universe you say. Write." More contemplation. "How, uh... How small are we talkin' here?"


By now you are fully aware that your companions are staring at you, quite sure of your sad decline into insanity, and already wondering what home to send you to, and how they'll break the news to your friends and family.Will is indeed, and finds it surprising. He'd have bet quite a bit that they would have been peeking over his shoulder. And, well, perhaps they had, up until he started talking to a piece of parchment which might appear blank to them for all he knows. Regardless, he waves them off. "Oh, relax." He gives them a wink. "You should be studying my negotiation style. Might pay off for ya, someday."

I have decided that there is some small charm to the experimental breaking up of a quote, but... Yeah, think I'll lay off of it in the future.

[Troacctid]

"I don't deal in ultimate power." The devil's reluctance to make a simple, sane job offer is extremely suspicious. Nobody just gives that kind of thing away. There's obviously a catch, and Bartholomew has better things to do than find out the hard way what it is.

[D20ragon]

Violet continues to look confused.
"Are you sure you're ok?"
She darts around the owl, looking for signs of injury.
"I've never met an owl as confused as you are. Maybe your friend can help you? Can I talk to him? Most people just go away when I want to talk to them, even in my garden! But maybe this time will be different?"
Hopefully...
The owl seems doubtful.
Can you keep up, or shall I carry you? It's a fair distance to his house.


Will smirks at the letter. "Huh, never had a letter put words in my mouth before. I think you could work out I'm not so big on the hoops at all. At least if the hoops are on the caliber of 'jump up and click your heels.' You seem smart enough to figure there'd be hoops I'd practically jump through pro bono. Practically," he stresses. Not because it is strictly true, but because he's found it best not to put out too much rope for himself in negotiations.

Will ponders that. "Hrrm... Kinda asking me to take a lot on faith, there, don't ya think? 'Sign here to agree to take up an undisclosed role with an discouraging name and undisclosed responsibilities in an undisclosed situation for an undisclosed length of time, I'll explain everything after the point of no return.'" He shares a chuckle with himself. "I mean, it's pretty ballsy to put that kinda thing out there, you gotta admit. How d'ya bait that hook?"

More blinking from the brawler. Will enjoys hearing himself talk, and so rather enjoys having only to look up from the page to dominate the pace of the conversation. But this kind of idea throws him off his rhythm. "... Uh... A small universe you say. Write." More contemplation. "How, uh... How small are we talkin' here?"

Will is indeed, and finds it surprising. He'd have bet quite a bit that they would have been peeking over his shoulder. And, well, perhaps they had, up until he started talking to a piece of parchment which might appear blank to them for all he knows. Regardless, he waves them off. "Oh, relax." He gives them a wink. "You should be studying my negotiation style. Might pay off for ya, someday."



I have decided that there is some small charm to the experimental breaking up of a quote, but... Yeah, think I'll lay off of it in the future.

The two continue to stare, almost too still. Only their eyes flicker about the room now and again.

How small? That's a bit hard to measure.
The one I'm just giving to another recruit now is cherry size.
Does that aid your decision making process?



"I don't deal in ultimate power." The devil's reluctance to make a simple, sane job offer is extremely suspicious. Nobody just gives that kind of thing away. There's obviously a catch, and Bartholomew has better things to do than find out the hard way what it is.
Why ever not?
I find ultimate power is the most pleasant sort of power to posses.

The devil stares at you intently for a moment, the large blank eyes of the mask fixededly observing you.
Ooooooooooh....
You don't trust me, do you?
Because I'm a devil!
Damn racial stereotypes.
Well, let me ask you, Barty, what could I say to convince you that I am completely in earnest?

[Troacctid]

"Let's start with what exactly it is you want from me."

[Archmage1]

Violet smiles cheerfully.
"I've never had an owl offer to take me anywhere! Are you a really fast owl? I can fly faster than a deer, sometimes!"

[alanek2002]

"Um... are they going to take much longer?" Hedratis asks, quivering slightly.

[Gaius]

The two continue to stare, almost too still. Only their eyes flicker about the room now and again.

How small? That's a bit hard to measure.
The one I'm just giving to another recruit now is cherry size.
Does that aid your decision making process? Will rolls this around in his head a while. "That's... smaller than I was thinking. I guess maybe if it was, like, a townhouse, -- no, at least a country an--" He shakes his head, as reason resumes control. "Yeah, sorry, buddy. You're kinda offering me something I really wouldn't know what to do with. In exchange for agreeing to do whatever you're thinking about me doing, with obligations for me that you're keeping to yourself. Which, by the way, still kind of a sticking point."

The brawler throws his arms up in the air and shakes his head at the cave ceiling.* "I mean, I've dealt with people who've actively tried to kill me who I'd be more inclined to trust than this offer. I don't need to be a wolf anymore to smell something funny, here." Thoughts of the faint brimstone odor came to mind again.

* Likely giving Albon and Lanie further ammunition.

[D20ragon]

Violet smiles cheerfully.
"I've never had an owl offer to take me anywhere! Are you a really fast owl? I can fly faster than a deer, sometimes!"
The owl shakes his head, looking bewildered.

Do deer fly?


"Um... are they going to take much longer?" Hedratis asks, quivering slightly.
The devil shakes his head suddenly, appearing to wake up, though you can't tell what he's doing under the enormous mask.
These people... I offer them a universe... And what do I get? What do adventurers like these days? I've no idea.


Will rolls this around in his head a while. "That's... smaller than I was thinking. I guess maybe if it was, like, a townhouse, -- no, at least a country an--" He shakes his head, as reason resumes control. "Yeah, sorry, buddy. You're kinda offering me something I really wouldn't know what to do with. In exchange for agreeing to do whatever you're thinking about me doing, with obligations for me that you're keeping to yourself. Which, by the way, still kind of a sticking point."

The brawler throws his arms up in the air and shakes his head at the cave ceiling.* "I mean, I've dealt with people who've actively tried to kill me who I'd be more inclined to trust than this offer. I don't need to be a wolf anymore to smell something funny, here." Thoughts of the faint brimstone odor came to mind again.

* Likely giving Albon and Lanie further ammunition.

It's a universe contained in a cherry.
Why do you want it bigger?
It'd just be harder to carry...
In any case, what kind of reward do you people expect? I'm rather out of touch...
Too busy ruling my collection of universes I expect.

[Archmage1]

Violet looks at the very confused Owl.
"Silly, Deer don't fly! Why would anyone think that?"

[alanek2002]

The devil shakes his head suddenly, appearing to wake up, though you can't tell what he's doing under the enormous mask.
These people... I offer them a universe... And what do I get? What do adventurers like these days? I've no idea.


"Ooh! I know the answer to this one!" Hedratis vibrates, "Gold! They like gold! I heard a lot of stories about how adventurers fell for stupid traps while trying to get gold!"

He pauses for a moment. "And wouldn't they need to be strong wizards in order to get to those universes? Are all of the others wizards?"

[D20ragon]

The owl looks about, clearly wondering what kind of madhouse it has stumbled into.
It gives up mournfully, and without further ado, bends slightly, offering the tiny fey his golden wingtip.


Elsewhere, the devil nods to the strange thing in front of him.
Gold... I see... How frightfully mundane.
Well, they'll learn. And if that's all it takes, I've had quite enough of this.

A pencil forms in the gloved hand, only to be broken into two halves.
For a long instant, time slows, and you swear you could count every splinter flying gracefully through the air, and you almost do, but before you've got time to finish, you shrink.
The feeling is not unpleasant. One second you were larger then you are now, that's all.
Fingers grasp you, and you're slipped into the devils pocket.
You feel him take a few steps, and then you are carelessly thrown down on a desk, several other extraordinarily confused folk sitting about you.
And here is all of us.
Now, this little fellow here tells me that I can clear this all up if I give you gold. True or false?

[Archmage1]

Violet looks quite happy about this.
"Yay! I get a ride! Thank you! But that won't work!"
She grabs on, but instead of grabbing his wingtip, she climbs onto his back, and wraps her arms around his neck, holding on gently, but firmly.
"This way, you're not unbalanced!"
Alas, before the poor petal gets her ride on owlback, the pencil is broken, and she suddenly appears elsewhere, and is grabbed, something that she does not appreciate.
"Hey! The owl was going to give me a ride, and you took him away! That's not nice!"
Sadly, the miniature petal is quite tiny, and her voice is almost inaudible. She settles for looking annoyed as she is thrown(She swiftly catches herself).
"Hey! You're not the owl! Who are you?"

[Gaius]

Will is, needless to say, a bit disoriented. Also irked. Looking up, he draws a deep breath and crosses his arms across his chest. He tries to show patience, though the forefinger tapping on his arm betrays his irritation. "Nooo..." he says slowly, "Like I said... You can show me the sorta respect I deserve. And not treat me like some hired thug. That's a good start. Also. Asking someone to sign on a dotted line with basically nothing explained? Kind of insulting. Much like picking someone up during a negotiation." He sighs. "Like I said, I'm really not a complicated guy. The reward almost doesn't matter. But I'm not signin' up for anything without knowing if it's gonna screw me or bore me. I got too much talent and not enough time."

Will looks straight up across the desk. "So. You gonna give a little presentation now? 'cause I don't see much further to go if you don't." His expression is stony for a bit. Then his brows lift and he looks around at the other three assembled. The man grins. "And I think you'll talk. Because you clearly don't have free pick. You're kinda scraping the bottom of the application barrel." He turns his head to the rest of them and says, "No offense," apparently not catching the implied insult he has made to himself. Back to the devil. "What'sa matter? Can't get anyone from your little kumquat universes to do this job?"

[Troacctid]

"The man has a point," says Bartholomew. "I'm not averse to being paid in cash, but I won't take just any job. If you want the services of a great evil genius like myself, I'll need to know what you want them for. So get explaining, eh?"

[alanek2002]

Hedratis is mostly waiting, but is struck by a thought.

"If I go as clear as I can while holding enough gold pieces, could I trick people into running into me?"

[D20ragon]

Violet looks quite happy about this.
"Yay! I get a ride! Thank you! But that won't work!"
She grabs on, but instead of grabbing his wingtip, she climbs onto his back, and wraps her arms around his neck, holding on gently, but firmly.
"This way, you're not unbalanced!"
Alas, before the poor petal gets her ride on owlback, the pencil is broken, and she suddenly appears elsewhere, and is grabbed, something that she does not appreciate.
"Hey! The owl was going to give me a ride, and you took him away! That's not nice!"
Sadly, the miniature petal is quite tiny, and her voice is almost inaudible. She settles for looking annoyed as she is thrown(She swiftly catches herself).
"Hey! You're not the owl! Who are you?"

Calm yourself, darling.
Allow me to introduce myself. I'm a... Man of wealth and indeed, I consider myself to have excellent taste.
The voice is distant, and somehow puzzled, as though the bird masked gentleman is not entirely sure of what he says.
Take a look around, I promise, if you don't like what you hear, you can leave.
Now. Back to business.


Will is, needless to say, a bit disoriented. Also irked. Looking up, he draws a deep breath and crosses his arms across his chest. He tries to show patience, though the forefinger tapping on his arm betrays his irritation. "Nooo..." he says slowly, "Like I said... You can show me the sorta respect I deserve. And not treat me like some hired thug. That's a good start. Also. Asking someone to sign on a dotted line with basically nothing explained? Kind of insulting. Much like picking someone up during a negotiation." He sighs. "Like I said, I'm really not a complicated guy. The reward almost doesn't matter. But I'm not signin' up for anything without knowing if it's gonna screw me or bore me. I got too much talent and not enough time."

Will looks straight up across the desk. "So. You gonna give a little presentation now? 'cause I don't see much further to go if you don't." His expression is stony for a bit. Then his brows lift and he looks around at the other three assembled. The man grins. "And I think you'll talk. Because you clearly don't have free pick. You're kinda scraping the bottom of the application barrel." He turns his head to the rest of them and says, "No offense," apparently not catching the implied insult he has made to himself. Back to the devil. "What'sa matter? Can't get anyone from your little kumquat universes to do this job?"

The devil swivels in his chair, turning to face you.
No, I can't. They turn out tiny, and it's no good. One day, maybe...
He looks absently at his nails.
But I digress. I wish you to obtain a certain square for me.
He waits, then silences you just before you ask.
Up-bup-bup-bup!
I see I have some explaining to do.
Long and complicated story short, I, and many others are involved in a game of sorts.
We recruit adventurers as pieces, and use them for a variety of purposes.
Think of it as a average job. You go through a portal, you do what I say, and you get payed. Rinse and repeat. Clear enough?
All this is spoken fast and dejectedly, rushing towards what he thinks is an inevitable answer.


"The man has a point," says Bartholomew. "I'm not averse to being paid in cash, but I won't take just any job. If you want the services of a great evil genius like myself, I'll need to know what you want them for. So get explaining, eh?"



Hedratis is mostly waiting, but is struck by a thought.

"If I go as clear as I can while holding enough gold pieces, could I trick people into running into me?"

Possibly. I'll run a few diagrams through the machines, tell you what I can find out.
What's the average adventurers Intelligence?

[Archmage1]

Violet looks at him, offended.
"But that's a silly name! Owl was much better. Anything would be better than a... Man of wealth and indeed, I consider myself to have excellent taste. Why would anyone want a name like that!?"

When portals are mentioned, Violet looks interested.
"Ooh! Do the portals go anywhere? Maybe one of them could take me home!"

[alanek2002]

Possibly. I'll run a few diagrams through the machines, tell you what I can find out.
What's the average adventurers Intelligence?

"Hrm... Average? Well, the average muscly types run towards us shouting about something called jello... But ignoring them, at least enough to run when they figure out I'm there, if they can."

Huh. That is really the way to spell Muscle-y? Odd.

[Gaius]

"Ahh! Now we're gettin' somewhere." Will beams. "See, that actually sounds interesting! I might have gone right for it, if you'd started with that. Of course, since you started with the heel-clicking thing, I'm afraid I need juuuust a bit more. Not anything from your coffers or glorified snowglobe collection, don't you worry -- though some of that'll all still be part of my payment, mind ya."

"Basically, I'm talkin' about respect and dignity. Your little opener made me doubt I'd be getting what I should, here. So, for working with me, I think you can shave down that attitude of yours that you're so much better than me. Op!" Will smirks and decides a little solidarity couldn't hurt. "Make that better than us. So, for me and everyone else working for ya, no condescension, and nothing demeaning. Oh, and no stabbing us in the back if that starts to look appealing." This last bit comes across with an idle gesture, as almost an afterthought.

Will then recalls a certain pair of loose ends. "Oh! Also, those kids I was palling around with. I'd rather their last memory of me not be ranting at a letter and then disappearing into some extradimensional pocket. So. You can either draft 'em..." He smiles, deciding on a test, "Or you can prove your devotion to this 'respect and dignity' thing by sending them on their way with a good impression of me. Be sure to make me look good." He's curious how this will wind up going.

[Troacctid]

"I expect I'll be needing my lab assistant as well. She's carrying some of my adventuring gear. Also, she's sort of bound to my soul."

[D20ragon]

Violet looks at him, offended.
"But that's a silly name! Owl was much better. Anything would be better than a... Man of wealth and indeed, I consider myself to have excellent taste. Why would anyone want a name like that!?"


When portals are mentioned, Violet looks interested.
"Ooh! Do the portals go anywhere? Maybe one of them could take me home!"

The devil raised his hand to pinch the bridge of his nose, then remembers the mask and sighs.*
Yes, they probably could. But would you please hold on? This is... Not exactly how I pictured this interview going.


"Hrm... Average? Well, the average muscly types run towards us shouting about something called jello... But ignoring them, at least enough to run when they figure out I'm there, if they can."

Huh. That is really the way to spell Muscle-y? Odd.
His head spins 360 degrees.

Well, I'll get back to you on that. If you'd just hold tight for a mo', I've got some tough hagglers over here.


"Ahh! Now we're gettin' somewhere." Will beams. "See, that actually sounds interesting! I might have gone right for it, if you'd started with that. Of course, since you started with the heel-clicking thing, I'm afraid I need juuuust a bit more. Not anything from your coffers or glorified snowglobe collection, don't you worry -- though some of that'll all still be part of my payment, mind ya."

"Basically, I'm talkin' about respect and dignity. Your little opener made me doubt I'd be getting what I should, here. So, for working with me, I think you can shave down that attitude of yours that you're so much better than me. Op!" Will smirks and decides a little solidarity couldn't hurt. "Make that better than us. So, for me and everyone else working for ya, no condescension, and nothing demeaning. Oh, and no stabbing us in the back if that starts to look appealing." This last bit comes across with an idle gesture, as almost an afterthought.

Will then recalls a certain pair of loose ends. "Oh! Also, those kids I was palling around with. I'd rather their last memory of me not be ranting at a letter and then disappearing into some extradimensional pocket. So. You can either draft 'em..." He smiles, deciding on a test, "Or you can prove your devotion to this 'respect and dignity' thing by sending them on their way with a good impression of me. Be sure to make me look good." He's curious how this will wind up going.

Since when were you in charge?!
The devil explodes, flinging his arms up.
I'm conducting this interview! You are in no position to make demands!


"I expect I'll be needing my lab assistant as well. She's carrying some of my adventuring gear. Also, she's sort of bound to my soul."

The great gold mask sags down
Well, get her, then the devil says, his voice spent and quiet.
I've had enough of this! 400 interviews in a day! It's absurd!

[Archmage1]

Violet looks sad to hear this.
"Aw... but I hate waiting! Maybe we could play a game, until you are ready to answer?"
She looks hopeful.

[Gaius]

Since when were you in charge?!
The devil explodes, flinging his arms up.
I'm conducting this interview! You are in no position to make demands!Will takes a step back, but keeps that easy, cocky expression on his face. A tinge of disappointment joins it. "Oh, Masky, Masky, Masky, you were doing so well! And now apparently 'a little respect and dignity' registers with you as not a 'baseline assumption,' but a 'demand?'" He shakes his head with a sigh. "What happened? We seemed to be making such progress." Will smiles up sternly as he breaks things down. "I point out the non-negotiable respect and dignity. What have I done that's unreasonable?"

"I mean, for the kiddos, clearly bringing them along or sending them a note is easily within your powers. And you prided yourself on your good manners earlier, but didn't think twice about just dragging me off. I was kinda in the middle of a venture with 'em." Will offers a shrug. "If I go along with you, it seems the least you can do is extend them the same opportunity or some kind of respectful explanation. I'm not even asking for a tasteful fruit basket. I mean, you started with a universe in these negotiations. What's a hand-written offer or explanatory note as well, ah?"

The devil's obvious frustration with interviews just broadens the brawler's grin. "Does seem like a long process. Wouldn't you love to wrap this all up in a bow so we can get started? Or you could always roll the dice with the next 400 applicants."

[D20ragon]

Violet looks sad to hear this.
"Aw... but I hate waiting! Maybe we could play a game, until you are ready to answer?"
She looks hopeful.

A game...?
The hitch in the devils voice is both scorn filled and woeful.
But that's exactly what I want to play...


Will takes a step back, but keeps that easy, cocky expression on his face. A tinge of disappointment joins it. "Oh, Masky, Masky, Masky, you were doing so well! And now apparently 'a little respect and dignity' registers with you as not a 'baseline assumption,' but a 'demand?'" He shakes his head with a sigh. "What happened? We seemed to be making such progress." Will smiles up sternly as he breaks things down. "I point out the non-negotiable respect and dignity. What have I done that's unreasonable?"

"I mean, for the kiddos, clearly bringing them along or sending them a note is easily within your powers. And you prided yourself on your good manners earlier, but didn't think twice about just dragging me off. I was kinda in the middle of a venture with 'em." Will offers a shrug. "If I go along with you, it seems the least you can do is extend them the same opportunity or some kind of respectful explanation. I'm not even asking for a tasteful fruit basket. I mean, you started with a universe in these negotiations. What's a hand-written offer or explanatory note as well, ah?"

The devil's obvious frustration with interviews just broadens the brawler's grin. "Does seem like a long process. Wouldn't you love to wrap this all up in a bow so we can get started? Or you could always roll the dice with the next 400 applicants."

I shouldn't have to bother with it, that's the point!
The vice behind the mask cracks.
You. Just... Don't talk, ok? I'll explain in a second but please for the love of god just do a job like a normal suicidal idiot adventurer!
You go to a place, stand on a square, get.... Whatever it is you wanted to get. Sounds good?

[Archmage1]

Violet seems to perk up momentarily, before looking sad again.
"But... maybe you can play my game while you think! It'll be fun!"
Smiling cheerfully, she starts explaining a rather complicated game, involving locating hidden flowers, which have special meanings that you need to use to form a word.

[Troacctid]

Bartholomew snaps his fingers. "Jade! Where are you? I need you."

A gust of wind swirls across the desk and, out of nowhere, a sylph whooshes to his side. "What's up, boss?" says Jade breezily.

Bartholomew blinks. "Huh. It worked. How'd you do that?"

"Sylph-service, boss!" Jade replies.

[Archmage1]

Violet looks surprised to see the newcomer just appear, and flies over to her, waving.
"Hi?"
She seems a little confused about Jade's appearance as well.

[Gaius]

Will sighs. And then shrugs and smiles. "Well, wouldn't be the first time I've taken a job with someone who's hilariously slow on the uptake. Don't worry, I'll see to it you work on that personality problem of yours looooong and hard. You can bet a lot that 'all dignity and respect I know I'm due from you' will be part of my 'whatever I want,' you understand."

A thought strikes him and he raises a finger. "Ah, though I am gonna want something a little more firmly laid out. Now, it's not 'cause you're a devi-- Oh, who'm I kidding, of course that's part. But it's mainly how evasive, abrasive, and untrustworthy you've been throughout all of this." More grinning. "So, if that last simple bit you mentioned is on the level, you can just go right ahead and make that magically binding on yourself now. Then I can actually get started."

[Troacctid]

"Hi!" replies Jade. She leans toward Bartholomew and asks him quietly, "Boss, who are these people and what's going on?"

"New commission," says Bartholomew. "The large gentleman up there--" (he jerks his thumb at the devil) "--is recruiting for an adventure of some kind."

"Oh! Finally! About time you got a real job, boss! We're nearly out of funding. Are these our new coworkers? And...uh..." Jade gives Hedratis a :smallconfused: look. "...the team mascot?" She extends a hand toward Violet. "Name's Jade. Lab assistant. Nice to meetcha."

[Archmage1]

Violet looks happy as Jade responds. And she even talks! By the time she found most of the people she met, they weren't very good at talking, because they were too busy admiring her garden, which, as always, made her feel sad.
Violet flies over, and takes Jade's hand, turning it over to look better at it.
"I'm Violet! It's nice to meet you too! You're Jade, and that's Boss, and I'm Violet! But do you know who the jelly and the other giant are?"

[Troacctid]

"... :smallconfused:," says Jade.

[Archmage1]

Violet lets go of Jade's hand, and holds out her hand, so she could have a look at it.
"I'm trying to figure out who everyone is. You're Jade, and I'm Violet. You call him Boss, so that's his name, but I don't know who the see through jelly is, or the other giant. The really big giant is Owl."

[Troacctid]

Jade gives Violet a handshake. "Oh, I just call him Boss cuz I work for him, so he's my boss," she says. "But he's not your boss, so you should call him by his real name, which is Fluffer McBunnykins. Right, boss?" says Jade. :smalltongue:

"No!" says Bartholomew. "How many times have I told you--" :smallmad:

"Oh! Sorry, I forgot! Dr. Fluffer McBunnykins." says Jade. "He's very picky about that sort of thing," she adds confidentially. :smallbiggrin:

[Archmage1]

Violet looks confused as Jade shakes her hand, but she doesn't pull away until Jade lets go.
"Oh! I'm sorry. It's nice to meet you, Dr. Fluffer!"
:smallsmile:

[Gaius]

Will had hitherto paid little attention to the others, locked into negotiations with a sort of tunnel vision. Violet's and Jade's chat proceeded to blow a hole in said tunnel. He turned to face them. "Wait. Seriously?" There was a moment's restraint before a rolling laugh emerged from the Brawler. "Ohh... That is just..." He turned back to the masked devil with a knowing look and finger. "Ha ha! I knew you were holding out on me! Okay, yes, I am absolutely in, payment to be sorted out later."

Will turned back to the three fellow humanoids on the platform with a lupine grin. "I am not passing up a trip with Doctor Fluffer McBunnykins and the chatty fairies. At least until I figure out what he did to make his parents hate him that much."

[Troacctid]

Bartholomew facepalms.

[Gaius]

Will helps himself to another helping of laughter. "Oh, relax. It's clear that ain't your real name. But." More smiling at the good Doctor. "It's also clear there's a story worth telling, there. So, howsabout a nice simple choice?" He holds out his left hand palm up, as though presenting something invisible. "You tell me that story, and I'll gladly call you by your real name. Or..." He holds out his right in a similar fashion. "Doctor Fluffer McBunnykins it is."

[Troacctid]

"My name is actually Bartholomew! I am the greatest inventor in the land, and all my enemies tremble at the sound of my--"

"He turns into an adorable fluffy little bunny whenever he does anything evil!" interrupts Jade. :smallsmile:

"Jade!" :smallfurious:

"Well he asked. I don't see why you're so embarrassed about it. You should be proud! You're the cutest widdle bunny-wunny I've ever seen in my life! Look, I have a picture." Jade reaches into a pocket and produces an image of herself cuddling a small rabbit, whose obvious annoyance at the situation only seems to enhance its cuteness. "See? He's the most adorable little Fluffer McBunnykins you ever saw!"

[Archmage1]

Violet flies over, looking at the bunny.
"Aw... he's adorable! There were never any bunnies like him in my garden!"
Then, after a few moments admiring the bunny, she looks happily up at Dr. Fluffer McBunnykins, and smiles persuasively.
"Will you please turn into the bunny? Please!"

[Troacctid]

"No." :smallannoyed:

[Archmage1]

Violet flies up to his face, looking a bit strange, her face caught between hope and disappointment.
"Pretty please? It'll be fun, I promise! We could go exploring!"

[alanek2002]

"Wait what? What Bunny? Bunnies Taste Awesome! It's not polite to not share, ya'know." Hedratis says.

Bunny bunny Bunny bunny Bunny bunny Bunny bunny Bunny bunny Bunny bunny Bunny bunny Bunny bunny Bunny bunny Bunny bunny Bunny bunny Bunny bunny Bunny bunny Bunny bunny Bunny bunny Bunny bunny Bunny bunny Bunny bunny

[Gaius]

Will's eyes and grin widen. "Nooo..." He's half-convinced he's been taken in. But given Bartholomew's reaction and the, er, pictographic evidence... The ex-werewolf positively howls with laughter. For some time, at that. "I... I can't breathe!" he manages to gasp out, somewhere in there. It makes a fine contribution of background noise to the exchange between the overeager fairies and cube, and flustered warlock.

[Troacctid]

"Oh, you laugh," says Bartholomew dryly, "But that's easy for you. You don't have a curse that turns you into a diminutive animal at inconvenient moments."

[Archmage1]

Violet smiles helpfully.
"But bunnies are nice, and much more reasonably sized! You must go around tripping over your feet, and hitting your head on things all the time! Bunnies don't! Wouldn't it be better to be a bunny?"

[Gaius]

Will starts to come down from the laughter. He's drawing deep breaths, clutching his sides, and still wearing an expression of deep amusement. "Ha! Yeah, right! Me, turnin' into something lame... like..." An unsettling thought had finally worked its way through. 'Turn into a bunny for doing something evil,' now that he thinks about it, is an example of an animal curse that perfectly satisfies the parameters he'd laid out. "... that..." This takes some wind from his sails. Looking again at Jade's picture, the little rabbit's sour expression suddenly seems like one he himself might wear. "Ooh..." The former werewolf begins to wonder if he might have made a slight tactical error.

Still, this wouldn't be the first time Will's powered through some self-doubt. Hoping his odd reaction passes without comment, he dons a smirk, albeit one much smaller than before. "Hey, cheer up. So maybe it's not as cool as turning into a wolf used to be. It's still unique, and there's a lotta value to that by itself." He nods sagely, while part of him wonders who he's trying to convince. 'sides," he tilts his head toward the ever-hopeful Violet, "your Number One Fan here's got the right idea: there're always upsides to find. Surely there's some time it's been handy, ah?"

Of course, as someone who's scarfed down more rabbits than he cares to remember, Will is aware of times when being a lagomorph wouldn't be so handy. Feeling a bit of sympathy mixed with professionalism, he turns to Hedratis with a conciliatory smile. "Yeah, sorry, Champ, but Dr. Fluffer McBunnykins ain't on the menu. We're all a team here, right? A pretty big basic for a team is no eating the rest of the team. And even if Barty here takes a turn for the cottontailed," he snerks despite himself, "he's still part of the team. Make sense?"