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golentan
2014-07-25, 06:35 PM
Anyone keep random tables of hilarious mishaps for their PCs?

One of my favorite games ever was a sci-fi game where the players owned the ship the Ronald Evans Jr, a 200 year old rustbucket held together by duct tape and chewing gum, and the chewing gum brand had gone out of business decades ago. As part of the old gal's... character, I had a table of things that would go wrong when they pushed her too hard. Now, I may have a chance to revive the spirit of Ronald Evans, in the form of the starship Coronado, and I have revised, updated, and expanded the table for a new age of facepalms.

11: The Jump grid Malfunctions, causing a minor misjump. The ship arrives 1d6+10 AUs from its destination.
12: The artificial Gravity cuts out.
13: The interior doors seal themselves shut and sound a pressure alarm.
14: The Air Conditioning turns on full blast, dropping the temperature below freezing or above 40 degrees Celsius within the hour.
15: The Plumbing reverses itself, spraying liquid from every available drain.
16: A power surge blows out all the lights.

21: The Ship’s Computer glitches out and begins blasting “La Marseillaise” over the PA.
22: The ship’s sensors show a cloud of approaching black holes.
23: The ship is infested with a pest, and it’s egg hatching season.
24: The Manoeuvre drive refuses to activate, claiming a proximity collision warning.
25: The ship’s algae tank grows out of control, turning the water green (among other things)
26: The fusion plant detects a minor radiation leak and initiates an emergency douse 5 minutes later

31: Fire control hoses down the entire ship with flame retardant foam
32: Air circulation shuts off.
33: A previous crewman stashed some illegal drugs in one of the staterooms. The faulty wiring behind the panel incinerates the package, dosing the current occupant.
34: The computer glitches, interpreting course corrections as random library data requests.
35: The ship begins adjusting the humidity, filling with thick fog that limits visibility to 1 meter.
36: The ship’s airlocks begin cycling randomly.

41: The microwave malfunctions, turning on spontaneously and/or refusing to turn off.
42: The ship’s beacon begins randomly cycling, provoking legal attention.
43: The ship’s refrigerator shuts off during the night, leaving only canned and dry goods to eat.
44: The fresher temperature control goes out, turning the shower into a near boiling hazard.
45: Fuel begins venting in minute amounts around the ship, causing jets of supercooled and combustible air from various pipes at random.
46: The Urine Recyc fails, an unfortunate state of affairs as it routes into the fresher.

51: An unknown substance begins building up on the refrigerator
52: The automated alarm clock begins going off every 5 minutes in the staterooms
53: The viewports all lock open during jump, causing jumpspace exposure (roll 1d6 every hour in an affected room, take that much Int damage, roll on the mental instability table if int reaches 0)
54:The ship’s comms stop working properly, and begin broadcasting any conversation held on the bridge to the star system at large.
55: The ship’s sensors depict everything at a right angle to their actual position.
56: The power plant undergoes an odd fluctuation, emitting an EMP.

61: A panel of the ship detaches during the next acceleration/deceleration, loudly. While harmless, the panel needs to be replaced.
62: Ship controls are inverted.
63: The automated door control safety features deactivate, and the doors begin closing ON people, pinning them.
64: The artificial gravity fluctuates randomly, varying between 1/6 and 1.5 Gs
65: The waste receptacle breaks, shooting garbage all across the lounge instead of compacting and expelling it when activated.
66: Roll again Twice

Doorhandle
2014-07-28, 03:05 AM
My D.M has the fumbles tables which have all led to some fail-riffic/funny moments. Same with the crit tables.

* My Tegu cleric charges someone,...and knocked himself out. to this day, no-one but his god knows what happened there.
* Our elf fighter cleaving his way through a fire elemental doing triple damage, and then getting his sword stuck in the ground. It happened again later: it's almost his signature move now.
* Same fighter, cutting open his hand when quick-drawing his sword. Late on a samurai joined the party, and quick-drew her sword... Immediately cutting her hand open in the exact same way.

Mr.Sandman
2014-07-28, 04:39 AM
My group has what we call the 42 roll. Whenever anyone gets a 42 on any roll something random and funny happens. The first time we ever used it was on a damage roll, which caused the attacked creature to turn into a moonwalking chicken in a sombrero. My current character has 42 max HP right now, so his armor is made of living Jello until next level, it can't be sundered, which would be nice but we don't have many enemys that do that anyway. The table itself is rather vague. Roll for general category (Animals, Edibles, Minerals etc,) and then hit random on Wikipedia 1d10 times, DM combines to hilarious effect.