101 uses for Kenders

[ArqArturo]

As the thread title says, what uses would you give to a kender?.

1.- Impromptu spiked shield
2.- Distraction
3.- Weapon of mass destruction (crown me king or I shall unleash a city full of kenders on you!).

[Brookshw]

4. Firewood
5. Landfill
6. Housing material
7. Test subjects
8. Used to weigh individuals and determine if they're witches.
9. Bait
10. Footrests
11. Side tables
12. A place to rest your beer
13. Weather vanes
14. Baseline for how tall you have to be for [insert activity]
15. Unprotected beekeeping
16. Really short flesh golems
17. Bowling pins

[ArqArturo]

18. Tie two together with some rope... Now you have kender-chucks.

[Brookshw]

19. Trap finders (non-rogue Kender only)

[Clistenes]

20.-Their meat can be made into sausages and burgers.
21.-Their skin can be used for leather gloves, or 22.-for small percussion instruments, like bongos or tambourines.
23.-Their bones can be used for gelatin.
24.-Their guts can be made into violin strings.
25.-Their blood can be used for blood sausages.
26.-A live kender can be used to test cosmetics.
27.-Send them to suicide missions in space instead of Laika.

[Teapot Salty]

28. Paperweight
29. Ammunition
30. Rain
31. Improvised Shortsword
32. Meat Tenderizer
33. Phylactery
34. Gravestone

[Hazrond]

28. Paperweight
29. Ammunition
30. Rain
31. Improvised Shortsword
32. Meat Tenderizer
33. Phylactery
34. Gravestone

Mother of... :eek:

[ArqArturo]

Wouldn't Rain of Kenders be considered a Vile Spell, or at least with the Evil Subtype?.

Also...

35.- Weapon Sheathes.

[Zanos]

26.-A live kender can be used to test cosmetics.
Only if you want to run afoul of the authorities for smuggling contraband.

36.Bags of Holding
37.Disease Vectors
38.Explosive Delivery
39.Zombies

[Leviting]

Wouldn't Rain of Kenders be considered a Vile Spell, or at least with the Evil Subtype?.

...

Not if you did it mundanely with a big catapult a couple of explosives and maybe a few large blades...

[Vhaidara]

40. Biological Weapons (not diseased or anything, they need to live for this)
41. Crafting fuel (Sacrifice them to evil gods for experience)

[Hand_of_Vecna]

Wouldn't Rain of Kenders be considered a Vile Spell, or at least with the Evil Subtype?.



Only if their somehow protected from falling damage. Otherwise it's Exalted.

[Marlowe]

43: Siege Ammunition
44: Emergency food supply
45: Torture device.

[atomicwaffle]

46. Screening Purposes "Would you ever play a Kender PC?"
47. Emergency Campaign Enders
48. The single best reason to play with a dragonlance campaign setting (my god that setting sucks)

[Coidzor]

49. A completely ethical source of undead and food for your undead. (Wight-feed, anyone?)

50. Medical cadavers and Medical not-yet-cadavers. :smallamused:

51. Replacement organs

52. Raw materials for constructing grafts/frankenstenian monstrosities.

53. Test subjects for attempts at bringing transhumanism into D&D.

[Doorhandle]

49. A completely ethical source of undead and food for your undead. (Wight-feed, anyone?)

50. Medical cadavers and Medical not-yet-cadavers. :smallamused:

51. Replacement organs

52. Raw materials for constructing grafts/frankenstenian monstrosities.

53. Test subjects for attempts at bringing transhumanism into D&D.

Maybe not that last one. Can you imagine what would go wrong if you actually succeeded?

54. Live bait.
55. Musical instrument, alongside various hammers and sharp things.
56. Throw them in pit traps to fill them
57. Bridges.
58. Throw them at golems until their killcounter roll over and the're disabled.
59. Landing cushions.
60. Distractions.
61. Grease for launching ships.

[Slipperychicken]

62. Fuel for the pain-extractors and the Steal Life spell. Get free crafting XP and become immortal by torturing and killing Kender!
62a. This doubles as a wonderful form of entertainment.

[Graye]

63. Steady source of trinkets.

Keep one on a leash and give it only 1 bag of holding. Check his bag every once in a while to see if he has something interesting.

[dascarletm]

64. (Similar to 46) Screening purposes, "Would you ever DM a campaign with Kenders as the focus?" Or, "Would you ever have an unkillable Kender DMPC?"

[Slipperychicken]

63. Steady source of trinkets.

Keep one on a leash and give it only 1 bag of holding. Check his bag every once in a while to see if he has something interesting.

So your plan is to allow a kender to steal stuff and be close to you? Yeah, no way that can backfire.

[ArqArturo]

64. Have a Kender Telepath? Use him as a torture device to pry information from others.

Also, I never thought the hatred for Kender ran so deep in the forum.

[Zanos]

64. Have a Kender Telepath? Use him as a torture device to pry information from others.

Also, I never thought the hatred for Kender ran so deep in the forum.
I blame 1d4chan.

[Phelix-Mu]

I actually love kender. The fluff seems to have been written stupidly, encouraging irritating players to create total loser characters (something that the game never needs, as the universe spontaneously generates such by its very nature). If taken with a grain of salt, the basic concept has always appealed to me; childlike being with no concept of fear or propriety. That's a pretty basic archetype, and I am partial to short races, in any case. When it's abused, of course it's irritating, but if a player is misusing kender, I doubt that kender will be the limit of his/her misbehavior (any race can be made irritatingly extreme, tedious, and contrary to smooth party dynamic).

Anyway, I shouldn't have posted. Playing underdog in these kender conversations rarely goes well.:smallannoyed: