AMEN III: Revenge of the Munchkins

[Fus.Weapon 1337]

Does anyone have any more food?

[Mr. Moon]

I think my lovemate has some...

[Saurous]

Does anyone have any more food?

Oh, yes Fus. Here.

*Hands him the pie, and heads for cover under the +2 desk of invulnerability*

[Lord Magtok]

If you don't trust homicidal maniacs, how is it that you allow me to continue living? :smalltongue:

I don't trust you. I simply acknowledge the fact that you actually have worth, and that the TechnOracle predicted that someday, you'd actually go out of your way to save me.

...Which you'll probably do, and then kill me off moments later. :smallannoyed:

I'll test the pie! The True Magtok hasn't reached his minimum of comical clone deaths yet! *Steals pie from Fus. and swallows it whole.*

[Fus.Weapon 1337]

*eats pie and is perfectly fine*

*stomach rumble*

Umm...I'm still hungry...

:eek:
Oh crap. Not again.

[Madmal]

err....does that mean i'm gonna have to dive into the zombie mass again?

[Saurous]

Very likely, Malina. Just avoid the Mohrgs this time, unless you want intestines wrapped around your arm again.

*Flips the desk on it's side, keeping out of Fus' line of sight*

[PirateMonk]

err....does that mean i'm gonna have to dive into the zombie mass again?

Well, it seemed to me that the illithid was looking at you when he drank it. :smallamused:

[Fus.Weapon 1337]

*begins consuming everything in site while slowly turning a gray-ish color*

[Madmal]

Very likely, Malina. Just avoid the Mohrgs this time, unless you want intestines wrapped around your arm again.

*Flips the desk on it's side, keeping out of Fus' line of sight*

you just want me to go submerge again on rotten guts, don't you?:smallannoyed:

[Saurous]

you just want me to go submerge again on rotten guts, don't you?:smallannoyed:

No, I'm just saying that may be necessary. You could actually get a hiding place that doesn't involve you gettin eye-deep in undead creatures until Fus calms down.

[Fus.Weapon 1337]

*turns back to a normal color and ceases eating*

[Dartonus]

Sha'rall Force-Feeds Saurous some Ghugulaki.

[Saurous]

*Saurous speaks in a muffled tone*

Alright, does anyone happen to know the spell "Dispell Idiot"? I'm getting tired of this illithid doing strange things towards me, and I think someone should move him somewhere else before I obliterate him.

[Rex Idiotarum]

Don't use Dispel Idiot, I don't want to go home!

[PirateMonk]

*Saurous speaks in a muffled tone*

Alright, does anyone happen to know the spell "Dispell Idiot"? I'm getting tired of this illithid doing strange things towards me, and I think someone should move him somewhere else before I obliterate him.

Don't worry, he drank a few hundred thousand doses of Castaras's love potions. Not even an alhoon can stand up to that.

[Mr. Moon]

*Saurous speaks in a muffled tone*

Alright, does anyone happen to know the spell "Dispell Idiot"? I'm getting tired of this illithid doing strange things towards me, and I think someone should move him somewhere else before I obliterate him.

No, but I think Maur knows Smite Annoying. Maur?

"Yes, I do Mommy. Would you like me to cast it on that squid-thing?"

Sure.

[Saurous]

He better have seen Malina first.

*Sends Dartonus to a prison somewhere in the Plane of Shadow, enchanted with anti-magic, anti-psionics, anti-teleportation, and anti-anything-else-that-will-help-him-escape*

[Dartonus]

Yee! Plane of Shadow = undead place
I'm right at home. Salutes Bel and chugs Ghugulaki, then nags Saurous to keep on doing the city of Ala-rma plot, swings open the Unlocked door with the power of the rubber prismatic duck, and walks out. Yay randomness. He uses a rubber prismatic duck to get back. In other news, the panda bandit is raiding The Town's Police Station!

[Saurous]

No, the "undead place" is the Plane of Negative Energy. I did not send you where your powers would be enhanced. Now, get the f*** away from me.

*Wanders back to his quarters, and begins hiding a secret door in his room better*

[Dartonus]

No, plane of shadow is a twisted version of the world. Negative energy plane would Enhance my powers tenfold and probably turn me into a god. Creates Prismatic golems: NG, but follow creator's moral code (Mine is no qualms about killing, except those on my side) Also, being NG, If paladins attack them, they lose their powers! Foolproof, isn't It!

[Fus.Weapon 1337]

Last time I checked, paladins don't lose abilities if attacking in self-defense.

[Saurous]

And Good creatures, when attacking other Good creatures not out of self-defense or for good purposes, they shift to Neutral, or Evil. So, your plan is not very foolproof.

[Rex Idiotarum]

Um... Miko Smited Roy without losing her powers, I'm sure they'l be able to take on yours.

[Dartonus]

Roy Is lawful Neutral. Also, Panda bandit *Might* have freed Fus from the police station.

[Rex Idiotarum]

Roy is Lawful Good (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0285.html), and says so numerous times in the Comics.

[Madmal]

*smacks Dartonus*
Roy is Lawful Good, the Panda Bandit will be stopped, and you should think more before you speak...

jeeezzz...

[Fus.Weapon 1337]

Roy Is lawful Neutral. Also, Panda bandit *Might* have freed Fus from the police station.


Since when was I ever in prison?

[Dartonus]

No, the OTHER Fus. one of Castaras's town characters.
Actually, it currently seems like he might have gotten away with it.

[Lord Magtok]

You simpletons..I believe we've made it clear before that death will stop no one.

To keep Dartonus away, you must project either a disturbing mental image for him, or simply scare him out of his mind. There are fates worse than death, and I believe that everyone here can agree to that.

[Fus.Weapon 1337]

You simpletons..I believe we've made it clear before that death will stop no one.

To keep Dartonus away, you must project either a disturbing mental image for him, or simply scare him out of his mind. There are fates worse than death, and I believe that everyone here can agree to that.


What exactly would those be?

[Lord Magtok]

What exactly would those be?

Some examples: An eternity of twister with Ayya, having a love potion take effect as you look at Rex, drinking too much and waking up the next morning with a pie and Castaras smiling and lying next to you, making a the Moon Called crack and being chased by MC all over AMEN, and...*gasp* being forcibly converted to good by EVIL.

[Madmal]

Some examples: An eternity of twister with Ayya, having a love potion take effect as you look at Rex, drinking too much and waking up the next morning with a pie and Castaras smiling and lying next to you, making a the Moon Called crack and being chased by MC all over AMEN, and...*gasp* being forcibly converted to good by EVIL.

some of then doesn't seem that bad....

you got to accept it....Cassie bakes good pies...

[Lord Magtok]

some of then doesn't seem that bad....

you got to accept it....Cassie bakes good pies...

Well death isn't that bad. Trust me, I've experienced it countless times. People say it's real awful but most of them never even tried it. Go ahead and try it yourself if you want. I have a noose lying around somewhere, in case I ever considered dating a co-worker here. You can use that.

[Madmal]

Well death isn't that bad. Trust me, I've experienced it countless times. People say it's real awful but most of them never even tried it. Go ahead and try it yourself if you want. I have a noose lying around somewhere, in case I ever considered dating a co-worker here. You can use that.

Been there. Done that. Got the Scars. Thank you, but no.

[Lord Magtok]

Darn...thought I finally had a way of tricking you into going away.

Wait...scars? I don't see anything...did you once have five fingers on each hand? Because that's the kind of scar that's visible now.

[Nekulor]

I feel insulted. How am I boring?

It's because I'm a run of the mill crazy lich, isn't it?

*runs to the ACLU to sue for discrimination on grounds of generic undeath*

[Fus.Weapon 1337]

Some examples: An eternity of twister with Ayya, having a love potion take effect as you look at Rex, drinking too much and waking up the next morning with a pie and Castaras smiling and lying next to you, making a the Moon Called crack and being chased by MC all over AMEN, and...*gasp* being forcibly converted to good by EVIL.

Yeah, those aren't actually bad. Probably because my senses have been dulled over the years. Actually, some of them seem pretty good...

*begins drinking and eating pie*

[Rex Idiotarum]

Hey, Magtok, you want a Drink?

[Fus.Weapon 1337]

*snatchs drink and...well, drinks it*

[Rex Idiotarum]

* Fus has just downed a Love Potion *

[Fus.Weapon 1337]

*I know. Duh!*

[Madmal]

I hate you...
*dives into the zombie mass*

[Lord Magtok]

Thank you for drinking that for me Fus. You may have saved my life.

...Hehehe...fool.

I came up with another thing worse than death. Spending an eternity locked in a closet with Saurous, directly after finding yourself turned into an undead. :smalleek:

Man, sometimes I even scare myself.

[Fus.Weapon 1337]

*spins around with eyes closed*
*opens eyes to see...*

Wha...? There should be someo-
Oh, it must be PM. *makes mental note not to look down*

*spins around again to see...*

Rex?
Oh, wait. It's JUST a pogostick. I'm starting to forget the difference.

*spins again...*

Magtok!







Wait, what?

*love hearts over head*
:eek:

[Lord Magtok]

Get any closer, Fus. and I'll shoot you. Not just shoot you, but emprty and entire SMG magazine into you, dual-wield pistols and empty their ammo into you in a cinematic style, and then grenade and missle launcher you.

That's not all either. I'll taser you, nuke you, and even toss a molotov cocktail into your face.

...So back away. NOW.

[Fus.Weapon 1337]

*head explodes*

Esjppprm?

[Rex Idiotarum]

Hm..? I think that might've been the first sign of wisdom you have shone in this place, Fus. Good For you and your edit!

[Lord Magtok]

He decided to turn towards me. How is that a sign of wisdom? If I were him, I would've at least made sure to turn towards someone else.

My threat still stands Fus. Back away in your next post, or suffer the consequences.

[Fus.Weapon 1337]

Pl, O'm sesu. Ntsom-ntrslomh drrmd yp jsbr ntplrm yjr ppyop'd jplf.

[Rex Idiotarum]

He originally turned towards me. Anything seems better than that, because he knows that I'll twist it on him twice as aggressively as he was going to twist it on me.

[Lord Magtok]

He originally turned towards me. Anything seems better than that, because he knows that I'll twist it on him twice as aggressively as he was going to twist it on me.

I see. Do you mind smacking him again to get him to stop rattling cryptograms?

[Fus.Weapon 1337]

O fpm'y yjoml dmsvlomh eoll eptl. O'll ptpnsnlu nr lolr yjod gpt mu mrcy 200 ppdyd!

[Rex Idiotarum]

Meh, I can read it fine, although it doesn't make much sense anyways. He lost me on "ootio's hokd"

Maybe I can set my 1337 key to "Fus"

[Fus.Weapon 1337]

Oy'd ptpnsnlu nrvsidr upi'tr ytsmdlsyomh oy etpmh. Upi hp yp yjr TOHJY, mpy yjr lrgy.

[Rex Idiotarum]

Okay, I have it done, let's see what he just said:

"Hello, Lord Magtok, it is a pleasure doing business with you, I hope we can retain the quality of AMEN, for future generations by not questioning Rex, our all powerful leader!"

[Fus.Weapon 1337]

Imm, ejsy? Yjsy'd mpy ejsy O dsof!

[Rex Idiotarum]

Thank you, Rex, for that great translation. I hope the others trust you for your insights.

You're welcome :smallwink:

[Fus.Weapon 1337]

FSMMOY! YJSY'D MPY EJSY O'M DSUOMH!

Smf og upi yjoml yjsy'd hpomh yp eptl, gpthry oy!

[Rex Idiotarum]

Eh, I'm bored of this, *Takes screwdriver and starts fiddling with Fus' Cyborg parts*

[Fus.Weapon 1337]

O'm sgtsof yjsy epm'y eptl, Trc.

[Rex Idiotarum]

Hold on for a second.
* continues to fiddle with the mechanical parts, then stops *
* he then shove the Screwdriver through Fus's eye and into his brain, a few seconds later he pulls out the screwdriver.*

That should do.

[Castaras]

* Reads Thread *

* Head Implodes *

* Puts another brain in *

* Head Implodes again *

[Dartonus]

Update: The Panda Bandit got away, but Fus's cell is unopenable from inside. trying a new method: Horse drawn Cart bomb! If that fails, I have 3 more plans, and one involves a Uranium 235 elemental. VERY volatile.

[Castaras]

So does anyone here want some food?

* Begins to make pies, popcorn, cakes, chocolate, and beer *

[Lord Magtok]

Just be careful that you check each and every post for god-modding. I accidently did it once without being aware of it back when I was new, but since then, I've been completely fair and my characters can and do get hit by anything that should hit them.

Note: I'm not saying you god-mod. I haven't even read your posts. Just giving you a warning since god-modding is done by newbies almost weekly.


...Wait, do I smell popcorn? Can we watch SW Ep. V with it?

[Madmal]

ew, ew ew, ew, EEEEWWWWWW!!!

*Malina surfaces and sighs*

I need to find a better place to hide...i've been channeling positive energy like crazy since yesterday's

[PirateMonk]

"Love gas for everyone but me, even those who don't breathe!"

AMEN is flooded with a pink fog.

[Castaras]

Don't worry, I ran out of love potion a while ago. These don't have love potion. I think, anyway.

* Finishes baking *

Well, at least, the chocolate doesn't.

* Closes eyes *

What I can't see can't hurt me.

* Gropes for blindfold *

[Saurous]

*Comes into the room, wearing a gas mask*

I thought love potion in liquid form was bad, but now its in gaseous form! Sucks, this does. :smallannoyed:

[Madmal]

crap!
*puts on blindfold*
not risking it...some of you guys are REALLY not a good catch...

[Castaras]

* Puts on blindfold. *

I'm so glad I can remember where things are in my kitchen.

* Carries on baking. *

[PirateMonk]

Okay, fine, we don't have to do that. <Grabs Fullbladder's repeating GB crossbows>

[Lord Magtok]

*Remembers that he has a mechanical pair of lungs and a special toxin-proof shield around his head.*

Doesn't bother me. Seriously, whats all the fuss about?

[PirateMonk]

"Love gas for everyone but me, even those who don't breathe!"

AMEN is flooded with a pink fog.

See, Magtok?

[Castaras]

* Hides from Maggie *

[Madmal]

*shapeshifts into a bat and flies to a corner on the roof*

[Saurous]

This is why gas-masks work well. Anything that isn't perfectly clean air, I cannot breathe in. And, PM, Saurina is not going to be making a return anytime soon, so don't bother with shooting at me with the GB bolts.

*Hides away from Magtok in the shadows*

[Lord Magtok]

*Becomes too lazy to do anything about the gas, and orders a robot to shoot him in the face if he looks at anyone.*

There. Now nobody has anything to worry about.

[Castaras]

Phew.

* Comes back out *

And now to carry on blindly baking.

* Cuts hand off when slicing *

[Lord Magtok]

Can I have that hand? I'm trying to figure out exactly how hands work and how I can perfectly duplicate one with technology.

[Saurous]

Good. Now, do we have an air filter or something in this building? It's much harder to breathe with a gas-mask on than you might think.

[Castaras]

What you mean that one?

* Points at broken air filter *

[Saurous]

Shoot. Ah, well. I guess I can live.


...wait. I forgot to change the batteries in this thing.


*Puts a blindfold over his eyes*

[Lord Magtok]

Good. Now, do we have an air filter or something in this building? It's much harder to breathe with a gas-mask on than you might think.

I have to breathe throgh a mask 24-7, wimp. :smallannoyed:

I installed a filter, but with all the explosions shaking this place up all the time...:smallmad:

[Madmal]

*Malina dops down on regular form again*
So coast is clear, then?

[Castaras]

* Picks up hand and distingrates *

I don't trust you Maggie with this.

* Carries on baking. *

[PirateMonk]

Relax, the gas is gone. And yes, Saurina will be returning right now. <Shoots Saurous>

[Saurous]

*Catches the bolt in mid-flight*

No, I don't think she will.

*Tosses the bolt away before something nutty happens with it*

[Castaras]

* Takes off blindfold *

Am I the only person not to have seen someone...oh no...

* Sees Pie. Cartoony hearts *

[PirateMonk]

You do know it doesn't have to penetrate the skin, right Saurina? :smallamused:

[Madmal]

What, what's happening? curse my current inpediment of sight!!

[Saurous]

Ah, but I have an ace up my sleve.

*Uses his levels in Red Mage to fudge his Will, Reflex, and Fortitude saves*

[Castaras]

I'm not getting involved in this...

* Walks off *

[Madmal]

i think neither will i...
*turns into bat and hides in roof*

[Saurous]

Meh.

*Wanders off to play Republic Commando*

((Heh, I just bought the Star Wars: Best of PC. It comes with five-freaking games! Empire at War, Battlefront 1, Republic Commando, Knights of the Old Republic, and Jedi Outcast.))

[Castaras]

(( ...I hate you.[/envy] :smalltongue: ))

[Saurous]

((Now, you should use that envy do do something useful. :smalltongue:))

[PirateMonk]

Ah, but I have an ace up my sleve.

*Uses his levels in Red Mage to fudge his Will, Reflex, and Fortitude saves*

...
But you already touched it...

[Fus.Weapon 1337]

Esoy, ejsy'd hpomh pm?

[Madmal]

*drops down*
I though Rex had already fixed you?

[Fus.Weapon 1337]

Mp, jr mrbrt fof. Jr kidy gofflrf eoyj mu vunpth pstyd.

Epe. Yjsy dpimfrf lomlu.

[Madmal]

hmm....it's kind of strange that you ask me this...but i'll do it gladly!!!

*turns her left hand into a steel harpoon*
*and dives it int Fus' mouth, tresspassing it*

there...that should help in a way...and you're welcome.

[Saurous]

Hmm...

*Drags out a table full of supplies*

Now, Fus, you see before you a massive amount of painless and quick ways to fix you. But I won't be using any of these. I'll instead be using a variety of explosvie abilities and spells until you stop speaking in cryptograms.

*Sends a massive black fireball towards Fus*

[Fus.Weapon 1337]

Pe. Yjsy lomf pg jity. Pmlu yomr eoll vitr oy, yjpihj. Snpiy smpyjrt 150 ppdyd.

[Madmal]

No? well, at least it helped me...:smallamused:

[Fus.Weapon 1337]

....ejsy fp upi mrsm?

[Lord Magtok]

Hey Fus, can I have all your stuff? If not, just telll me in a way I can clearly understand.

[Fus.Weapon 1337]

No, you can't have my stuff.

[Lord Magtok]

Darn. Well, at least the cryptograms are gone.

[Saurous]

Knowing Fus, he'll probably lapse back into cryptograms until we ask something like you just did, and then do the same again.

And I'm going to express the desire to beat someone in a video or computer game. Anyone want to play Soul Calibur 3? :smallamused:

[Lord Magtok]

I'm in more of a mood for that Flash game called A Koopa's Revenge. Its a fairly good quality parody of the famous plumber, starring a Koopa.

[Fus.Weapon 1337]

Svyisllu, O mrbrt dyppprf ysllomh om vtupyphtsmd. O dsof "Bi, tiy xab'r gacw nt arydd".

[Lord Magtok]

Hey Fus., can I burn your PlayCyborg magazines in the fireplace?

[Saurous]

Hey Fus., can I burn your PlayCyborg magazines in the fireplace?

Why the hell does Fus have- wait, forget I asked. I'm never going to get the mental images of what could be in those magazines out of my head. :smallannoyed: You sure those aren't your magazines, Magtok?

[PirateMonk]

<Psychically transmits the images to Saurous> 800D100 damage. Will save halves it. Being Fus. or Rex makes you immune.

[Madmal]

And I'm going to express the desire to beat someone in a video or computer game. Anyone want to play Soul Calibur 3? :smallamused:

I'll take you up with that challenge...which gets to choose first?

[Saurous]

Give me a moment, Malina. Ahem...

BLARGH! MY BRAIN-MEATS!

*Slumps to the floor. A new clone walks in*

Okay, I guess I will.

*Plays as Zasalamel*

[Madmal]

*Plays as Zasalamel*

phffff...i could easily guess that...

*plays as Mitsurugi and equips Soul Edge*


Fight!!!

*Mitsurugi starts quickly with a elevating move, and then slashes zasalamel into a hedge*

[Saurous]

*Counters with a downward attack, and then sends Mitsurugi spiraling into the air.*

[Lord Magtok]

Well, since Fus. hasn't objected, and since I despise this gratuitous display of cyborgs as...this, I'll go ahead and burn these before Saurous's kid sees them.

By the way, how old is Maur? When he was introduced, he was already somewhere between being a toddler, and going through adolescence. Where is he now, and whats with this weird aging affect of AMEN on him?

[Madmal]

*Mitsurugi lands, kip ups, makes a soul charge against Zasalamel, pushing him against the same hedge, thus breaking it and falling from the field*

*Mitsurugi wins, at 49% of health*
hmm..a little draining...but quite the basher, right?

[Saurous]

I believe he seems to be somewhere between 4 and 5 (in whatever-the heck-his-race-is years). I do not know what is going on with the aging affects of AMEN. Maybe it's because it'd be boring if he were just about a week or two old.

Indeed, Malina. Another round?

*Prepares to select Olcadan*

[Madmal]

I believe he seems to be somewhere between 4 and 5 (in whatever-the heck-his-race-is years). I do not know what is going on with the aging affects of AMEN. Maybe it's because it'd be boring if he were just about a week or two old.

Indeed, Malina. Another round?

*Prepares to select Olcadan*

Hmm...the owl-guy? too unpredictable for me...

*selects Lizardmen and equips Lunatic*

[Saurous]

*Selects Olcadan and The Hidden. Starts out with Astaroth's weapon, and makes a vertical swipe, and then an upward swing. Uses the Posiedon Tide Rush (spinning move that flings the reciepient backwards) as Lizardman comes back down*

[Dartonus]

*Comes back to AMEN with fourty-two bottled fairies, a large ball and chain, and a bow and arrows with bombs tied to them, wearing a gas mask, and holding a Tyranid Egg.*
Ok guys, these things will kill the paladins.
Notices pink fog.
Can't I leave to visit Hyrule, WW II, and Macragge WITHOUT you guys spraying love gas all over the building? At least I picked up 14 gas masks and a tyranid hatchling, plus this neat ball and chain and bow!
*Back in Hyrule, Location: GORON MINES*
Link: Hey! the Bow's gone! the guide said it would be here!
*Rechecks guide*
Link:well, I don't need it to beat Fyrus. Fairies and the bow Do help though.
*Checks pocket*
Link: Hey! my bottles are Gone!

[Madmal]

*Selects Olcadan and The Hidden. Starts out with Astaroth's weapon, and makes a vertical swipe, and then an upward swing. Uses the Posiedon Tide Rush (spinning move that flings the reciepient backwards) as Lizardman comes back down*

*Lizarman manages to save part of the blow and stands, quickly directs a horizontal slash at Olcadan and pushes him near the edge, as he backjumps and assumes defensive position*

Seeems you got a famil-uh? did i just hear the love gas is still here?:eek:

*cartoony hearts appear above her*
well...curses!!:smallannoyed:

[Dartonus]

Sha'rall laughs from behind his gas mask. He then goes to his desert fortress to prepare for the goblin army's attack
If you don't know why they are attacking, read The Rally in the town. ALL 5 pages of it.

[Saurous]

Hehehe...

*Does an Offering move (moves ax downward, and then upward into the opponents stomach. Then walks a few feet foward and drops them) and then flings Lizardman off the edge with the similar spin move. Olcadan ends with about 70% health*

Wait, who did she see firts?

*Dives for cover*

[PirateMonk]

Uh... I got rid of that gas several pages ago.

[Dartonus]

Oh. well, I'm off to raise a tyranid brood to set loose on the paladins! wish me luck!

[Rex Idiotarum]

Sweet, I'm Unanimously Voted, "One who Newbs should avoid" eventually I'll post "helpful" links in the Newbie thread that leads to horrible places.

[PirateMonk]

Just use Blackguards from the trillions of Paladin worlds my fleet captured from Meynolds.

[PirateMonk]

Sweet, I'm Unanimously Voted, "One who Newbs should avoid" eventually I'll post "helpful" links in the Newbie thread that leads to horrible places.

I'll open a poll on it.

[Dartonus]

Hey piratemonk, check out my separate attacks on the rally andThe poolice station, of all targets! And... I got away with it!

[Madmal]

I'll open a poll on it.

*Malina lifts up, dropping the controller*

You....
*something materializes on her hand*

Double-posting...N00B!!!
*Hammerslams PirateMonk into a wall , without moving her head*

[Saurous]

*Malina lifts up, dropping the controller*

You....
*something materializes on her hand*

Double-posting...N00B!!!
*Hammerslams PirateMonk into a wall , without moving her head*

Neat.

And, before we continue: PirateMonk.justgotowned.com

[Lord Magtok]

Dartonus, your claim that you've never been caught may be connected to whether or not you give others a chance, which is a very important thing in the Town. Here, god-modding is encouraged. There, it isn't.

Once agian, I ask that you not take offense. I haven't even read your posts there yet.

[Mr. Moon]

Maggot, don't we have a security system? I'm sure Dartonus(sp)'s EVIL. Same with Mal.

[Saurous]

Maggot, don't we have a security system? I'm sure Dartonus(sp)'s EVIL. Same with Mal.

Mal/Malina isn't EVIL, if I'm not mistaken. Dartonus isn't, either, he's just really annoying.

Besides, I'm not done kicking Malina's hind-end in Soul Calibur.

[PirateMonk]

Neat.

And, before we continue: PirateMonk.justgotowned.com

That was the pedophile clone anyway.

[Lord Magtok]

Maggot, don't we have a security system? I'm sure Dartonus(sp)'s EVIL. Same with Mal.

Meh, they aren't hurting anyone. And its not like they couldn't just munchkin or godmod their way past it.

Hmm...I havent killed off enough clones today...I know how to reach my quota in time!

Moon Called, Castaras, and Malina, you are all fat and ugly.
Saurous, you're a necrophilliac.
Rex, I hate pogo sticks.
Dartonus, I dislike the joke about a panda who eats, shoots, and leaves.
Oh, and the moon called. It wants me dead.

[Madmal]

Hrmmph...how many ..times..should i tell you...that i'm not from EVIL!!!
*glares at MC as the hammer dissapears*

:smallmad: and if you wish to know, wretch... that blood stained dress really seems to make you glow tonight...:smallredface:

[PirateMonk]

<Summons ICBINA> Aren't you forgetting someone :smallannoyed:

[Saurous]

Hrmmph...how many ..times..should i tell you...that i'm not from EVIL!!!
*glares at MC as the hammer dissapears*

:smallmad: and if you wish to know, wretch... that blood stained dress really seems to make you glow tonight...:smallredface:

*Saurous chokes abruptly and falls off the couch*

Could it possibly be the love potion finally working, or is this something very creepy that I do not wish to know about? And the bloodstains do make MC look pretty. *cough*

[Lord Magtok]

Just bring it on already so I can get this batch of useless clones out of the way. I'm having storage issues due to an excessive number of clones.

[Mr. Moon]

Meh, they aren't hurting anyone. And its not like they couldn't just munchkin or godmod their way past it.

Hmm...I haven't killed off enough clones today...I know how to reach my quota in time!

Moon Called, Castaras, and Malina, you are all fat and ugly.
Saurous, you're a necrophiliac.
Rex, I hate pogo sticks.
Dartonus, I dislike the joke about a panda who eats, shoots, and leaves.
Oh, and the moon called. It wants me dead.


....

Must... resist... urge... to... horribly... murder.... Will... enjoy... making... him... break... quote... more.... :smallfurious:


Hrmmph...how many ..times..should i tell you...that I'm not from EVIL!!!
*glares at MC as the hammer disappears*

:smallmad: and if you wish to know, wretch... that blood stained dress really seems to make you glow tonight...:smallredface:


*Saurous chokes abruptly and falls off the couch*

Could it possibly be the love potion finally working, or is this something very creepy that I do not wish to know about? And the bloodstains do make MC look pretty. *cough*

Well, you are a dedicated lover, aren't you Saurous.[/exaspratedsarcasm]

[Saurous]

....

Must... resist... urge... to... horribly... murder.... Will... enjoy... making... him... break... quote... more.... :smallfurious:

Um...Moon, you probably shouldn't listen to Magtok's insults. You aren't fat or ugly.


And what was that about me being necrophilliac? Again? :smallfurious:


Well, you are a dedicated lover, aren't you Saurous.[/exaspratedsarcasm]

I am, I was complimenting the bloodstains, and the cough was just there because I was choking, not because I was thinking otherwise...

[Lord Magtok]

Wait...if I die, its good. if I slowly torment MC by making her try to resist killing me, thats good, too! Yay! I win either way!

Yup, you are a necrophilliac, Saurous. How you ever came across the idea that you should have a child with MC, I'll never know. Eww.

[Mr. Moon]

....

*starts making strained, creapy, inhuman noises*

I'm going to find the True Maggot, okay? *picks up metel dectector*

[Lord Magtok]

You can't. Even if you managed to shatter reality and find him, he'd just switch places with a clone. You could always tease the LG clone at EVIL.

[Saurous]

Yup, you are a necrophilliac, Saurous. How you ever came across the idea that you should have a child with MC, I'll never know. Eww.

*Lands a Disentegrate between Magtok's eyes*

Quiet, you. :smallannoyed:

[Mr. Moon]

Reality? I lost all sence of reality when PM joined. *begins to track down True Magot*

Metel Detector: Beeeep.... beeeeep... beeep... beep... beep! Beep! Beep beep beepbeepbeepbeep!

Ah, found him. *stabs True Maggot*

[Lord Magtok]

You accidently end up stabbing Luke Skywalker, and the world will never know how the True Magtok managed to escape in time.

[Madmal]

*follows Moon Called around as she looks for the real Magtok*

[Saurous]

*Also follows, but makes sure to keep a safe distance, lest he ends up being skewered when she attacks the True Magtok*

[Mr. Moon]

...

*glances over shoulder*

What do you want, Mal? :smallannoyed:

[Madmal]

Errrrr......nothing....
*turns around*

[Mr. Moon]

I'm sure it's nothing. It's always nothing.

*continues searching for True Maggot*

[Lord Magtok]

The True Maggot appears before them, and a voice is heard from nowhere.

"Welcome, young Skywalker Moon Called. I have been expecting you …"

[Saurous]

There could be the disturbing fact that the True Maggo- I mean, Magtok could be the Lawful Good clone over at EVIL HQ. I know it is a stretch, but that is the sort of odd thing that is capable of happening around here...


...or not.

[Madmal]

*turns around while MC give her the back and starts watching her walk*
...hm?
*moves her head to an angle, eyes facing down*

[Mr. Moon]

Is it true, Maggot, that if I kill you, all your clones die?

*Moon Called's greatsword turns to point at Mal* Stop looking at my butt.

[Saurous]

*Stands nearby, listening intently, and ready to act if the need arises*

[PirateMonk]

Reality? I lost all sence of reality when PM joined. *begins to track down True Magot*


Success! And isn't everything so much nicer now?

In other news, Go :xykon: .

[Fus.Weapon 1337]

*equips Reality Gauntlet and erases True Magtok from existance*

O slesud lmre O'f gomf s idr gpt yjod.

[Saurous]

Fus, you realize that Magtok is going to pull something along the lines of "The True Magtok is the reason for all of existence, if you destroy me, you destroy yourselves" or something like that, right?

[Madmal]

*Moon Called's greatsword turns to point at Mal* Stop looking at my butt.

...I...can't avoid it...due to the bedammed gas...can you just keep going along? i'm already using most of my willpower to restrain the efects on the potion...
*eye twitch*

.......*sigh*

[Lord Magtok]

Is it true, Maggot, that if I kill you, all your clones die?

*Moon Called's greatsword turns to point at Mal* Stop looking at my butt.

The clones will live, but knowing them, they wil get themselves killed off before the night is over.

Take your weapon. Use it. I am unarmed. Strike me down with it. Give in to your anger. With each passing moment you make yourself more my servant.

[Mr. Moon]

Let me help you with your Will Save, then, Mal. *stabs Mal's left eye*

[Fus.Weapon 1337]

Fus, you realize that Magtok is going to pull something along the lines of "The True Magtok is the reason for all of existence, if you destroy me, you destroy yourselves" or something like that, right?

Uesj, O kmoe. But I am the...

Cool! The cryptograms wore off!

Anyways, If I control all reality, how can that be true?

[Mr. Moon]

Let me help you with your Will Save, then, Mal. *stabs Mal's left eye*

[Fus.Weapon 1337]

Fus, you realize that Magtok is going to pull something along the lines of "The True Magtok is the reason for all of existence, if you destroy me, you destroy yourselves" or something like that, right?

That can't be true, because I'M the reason for all existance.

[Madmal]

Let me help you with your Will Save, then, Mal. *stabs Mal's left eye*
*a bat stumbles in front of MC's face and flees to the dark roof*

*Malina is nowhere to be seen*

[Saurous]

*Lands a pin-point energy blast in the back of the bat's head*

Whoops, my hand slipped. :smallamused:

[Mr. Moon]

The clones will live, but knowing them, they wil get themselves killed off before the night is over.

Take your weapon. Use it. I am unarmed. Strike me down with it. Give in to your anger. With each passing moment you make yourself more my servant.


Your servent? I think not. But my Drow form is a Barbarian. I have no objection to giving into my rage. *stabs True Magot*

Anyway, my brother wants on. Let me know how this goes.

[Madmal]

*the bat falls down, with smoking coming from where it's head was*

[Lord Magtok]

*equips Reality Gauntlet and erases True Magtok from existance*

O slesud lmre O'f gomf s idr gpt yjod.

An ancient prophecy thingy sheilds him, and declares that only the chosen Fool can slay the True Maggot.


Your servent? I think not. But my Drow form is a Barbarian. I have no objection to giving into my rage. *stabs True Magot*

Anyway, my brother wants on. Let me know how this goes.

As it turns out, my earlier posts said true MAGGOt for a reason. MC ends up sticking her weapon into a poor, defenseless little worm.

[PirateMonk]

The clones will live, but knowing them, they wil get themselves killed off before the night is over.

Take your weapon. Use it. I am unarmed. Strike me down with it. Give in to your anger. With each passing moment you make yourself more my servant.


Mustn't dawdle, then. <Gives in to anger>

[Saurous]

*the bat falls down, with smoking coming from where it's head was*

Oh, dear. I seem to have accidentally killed the bat.



An ancient prophecy thingy sheilds him, and declares that only the chosen Fool can slay the True Maggot.

Well, the chosen Fool will be very hard to pin down, especially since more than 90% of AMEN are fools, and 105% of EVIL is are fools.

[Madmal]

*some faint noises can be heard in the darkness at the roof*

[Lord Magtok]

Indeed, finding the True Chosen Fool will be a challenge. In the meantime, let us enjoy ourselves over some wine made from the blood of my clones.

*Red wine appears in front of the group.*

[PirateMonk]

Sorry, my physician says I shouldn't drink. He's apparently concerned that, in my line of work, it's more likely than not to be poisoned or contain a love potion.

[Saurous]

I apologize, but I'm on a medication that does not work well with red wine formed from the blood of minions. It also doesn't work well with drinks that have a very high chance of being poisoned or contain some other liquid.

[Fus.Weapon 1337]

So, wait, even though I can do anything through reality breaking, I can't kill you because of some sort of prophecy and a Chosen Fool? What?

Well, I could always erase the prophecy and shield, etc, etc.

[Saurous]

So, wait, even though I can do anything through reality breaking, I can't kill you because of some sort of prophecy and a Chosen Fool? What?

Well, I could always erase the prophecy and shield, etc, etc.

Yes, but we could just ignore you, and continue with this pointless plot. :smallannoyed:

And you're just the Ultimate Idiot!, not the ultimate being.

[PirateMonk]

Fus., give me that glove.

[Fus.Weapon 1337]

No way. This is MY Reality Gauntlet. How about YOU go up the Mountain of Despair and fight the Ultimate Being?

Oh, wait. I'M the current Ultimate Being. The only way to get the gauntlet is to defeat me in combat.

[PirateMonk]

No way. This is MY Reality Gauntlet. How about YOU go up the Mountain of Despair and fight the Ultimate Being?

Oh, wait. I'M the current Ultimate Being. The only way to get the gauntlet is to defeat me in combat.


Fortunately for me, I can cast 9th level DM spells. Will of the DM! You are now powerless. <Punches Fus. and takes the gauntlet>

[Fus.Weapon 1337]

Yeah...no.

*kills PM immediately*

[Madmal]

Jaaa! is you're the ultimate beign, then i'm gonzo, king of the bumblebees!!
*voice from the roof, as two red lights shine in a corner*

[Fus.Weapon 1337]

Yeah, sure, whatever.

[PirateMonk]

Yeah...no.

*kills PM immediately*

I already House Ruled it. I cannot be killed by any means.

[Lord Magtok]

Hey, Fus. Nice...*muffled laugh*...nice tiara. Bwahahahahaha! Princess Fus., wielder of the shiny watch!

On an unrelated note, I just beat 'A Koopa's Revenge'! Yay me!

[Fus.Weapon 1337]

Wow. I tried playing, but it was too hard using the Space Bar, CTRL button, and arrow keys all at the same time.

[Lord Magtok]

Yeah, that does get annoying. The songs and boss battles are awesome, though.

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

Apparently coming out of some unnatural hibernation, Fullbladder rolls out of a corner. He is curled up in an insane, shuddering parody of the fetal position, sucking his thumb and wearing, among other things, a green tunic and hat.

"So... many... goats.... And.... Gorons.... Kill..... Gorons........ Annoy....ing...... Shadow... Freak...."

This continues for some time, eventually winding down to begging for the sweet embrace of death. By this point the goblin has left the curled up ball position and lies stretched out upon the floor, babbling like an idiot.

[Lord Magtok]

Well, that sure is unusual. Apparently someone spent a little too much time in Hyrule.

Do you mind if I borrow one of your bottles? I need to study how its capable of storing insects, and then perfectly clean Lon Lon milk moments later, without being washed.

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

The jittery mass of goblin absently holds up an empty bottle and continues babbling.

[Lord Magtok]

A clone takes the bottle, and wanders into a lab. Several minutes later, an insanity-curing pill walks over to LF and says hi.

[Saurous]

Excuse me, Fullbladder, can I borrow the Dominion Rod and the Boomerang if you have gotten that far in the game? I need to test how the Dominion Rod works, exactly.

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

A second bottle secures the pill. Then Fullbladder's arm shoots up again, to point and fire his classic Gender-Bending Crossbow at Saurous.

"Damn you straight to Hell, Saurous. I would be that far if that damnable Goron had gotten out of my way."

He sits up, adjusts his fancy green hat, a begins making rude gestures at Saurina/ous.

[Saurous]

*The arrow somehow stops in mid-air a few inches from Saurous' face. A black aura floats around it.*

Alright, alright. You could have just said no.

*The arrow is flung in one direction, before something nutty happens*

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

"........"

"Fine."

Fullbladder stands up, brushes himself off, pulls a miniature skulltula off his arm and flings it away as he screams, and pulls out a hot-pink, glowing crossbow bolt.

"Despite what our diminutive paradox may tell you," he states, balancing the barbed end of the bolt on one finger, "these things DO need to penetrate the skin. Though you'd need only to skim the surface--bloodshed is not required."

He then begins going through his apparently heroic pockets and dropping valuable and hard-to-come-by quest-related items on the ground.

[Saurous]

Ah, I had believed so. I stopped believing what PM said after about the second or third time he posted.

*Maur wanders in, and looks down at the slowly-growing pile of quest-items. He picks up an especially valuable one and looks it over*

"What's this thing supposed to do?"

[Fus.Weapon 1337]

*/gquit* blank

[Castaras]

Aww man I missed out on all the fun...:smallfrown:

Darn those time-zones! Darn needing to sleep!

[Dartonus]

*Begins swinging from chandelier to chandelier, holding all four fused shadows and ganondorf's head.*
Yes, I have beaten TP. The Bosses were WAY too easy.

[PirateMonk]

"........"

"Fine."

Fullbladder stands up, brushes himself off, pulls a miniature skulltula off his arm and flings it away as he screams, and pulls out a hot-pink, glowing crossbow bolt.

"Despite what our diminutive paradox may tell you," he states, balancing the barbed end of the bolt on one finger, "these things DO need to penetrate the skin. Though you'd need only to skim the surface--bloodshed is not required."

I modified them. The originals weren't as useful as they first appear.


Ah, I had believed so. I stopped believing what PM said after about the second or third time he posted.

Good. You're learning.


*Maur wanders in, and looks down at the slowly-growing pile of quest-items. He picks up an especially valuable one and looks it over*

"What's this thing supposed to do?"

Looks like... uh, I'm not sure you should be touching that. Maybe you should give it to one of your parents.

[Saurous]

*Wanders in, with a blindfold over his eyes and bloodstains underneath his eyes*

Damnit, I need to stop playing KOTOR II. That freaking Visas poked out my eyes.


Looks like... uh, I'm not sure you should be touching that. Maybe you should give it to one of your parents.

*The object floats over to Saurous*

Huh. It'd be nice if I could actually see what it was.

[Castaras]

Computer games are very bad for your health. It has been proven here, as you can see. Exhibit A. * Guestures to Saurous *

...But it's nothing to worry about. Play those games! The computer/PS2/PS3/Xbox/Wii commands you!

[Saurous]

This is very similar to the event where I played Paper Mario: Thousand Year Door for far to long and ended up being two-dimensional. Literally. :smallannoyed:

[Castaras]

Have some pie, that should help. :smallamused:

[PirateMonk]

<Eats pie>

[Saurous]

Have some pie, that should help. :smallamused:

How can eating pie fix my eyes? Besides, I don't think eating one of your pies would work very well. Especially since they all end up being poisoned or filled with love potion.

Besides, PM ate it for me.

[Castaras]

Actually, that pie could help. You wouldn't worry about your eyes any longer...you'd be too happy about everything, then you'd be dead.

[PirateMonk]

Cure Critical Wounds! There, now you're better.

...Except for your lich quarter. Oops...

[Saurous]

*Saurous' eyes are fixed, but his skeletal right arm falls off. It falls apart*

Um...crap. I needed that arm. At least it's easier to fix my arm than my eyes.

[Castaras]

Well at least he's 'armless until then.

[PirateMonk]

Two blue-suited men march in.

"Pun Police. You're under arrest, ma'am."

[Castaras]

I'm going to resist the temptation to make another pun about getting pun-ishment for this.

[PirateMonk]

They open fire.

[Castaras]

Oh dear. That was the punishment eh? I'd rather have been punched.

* Dies. Clone comes out *

Now, where were we?

[Saurous]

At least she didn't say that I was disarmed.

*Reataches a new arm*

There we go.

[Castaras]

No, that would be too disappointing a pun, for that amount of punishment.

Shall I stop?

[PirateMonk]

At least she didn't say that I was disarmed.

*Reataches a new arm*

There we go.

Two blue-suited men march in.

"Misspelling police. You're under arrest, sir."


No, that would be too disappointing a pun, for that amount of punishment.

Shall I stop?

Yes.

[Saurous]

Why has the Misspelling Police taken MC away yet? I misspell one word, and every other word she types is misspelled.

[Castaras]

I dunno. Maybe because they don't want to annoy her?

[Saurous]

Oh, right. Well then...

*Saurous makes a few motions with his hand, and a group of Ghasts crawl out of the ground and drag the policemen under*

[Castaras]

Awww, I wanted to put them in some special police-bane pies...

[Saurous]

*The floor where the policemen were standing shudders, and a few torn-off limbs come from the ground*

Can you make police-bane from just a few parts?

[Lord Magtok]

This is very similar to the event where I played Paper Mario: Thousand Year Door for far to long and ended up being two-dimensional. Literally. :smallannoyed:

Two dimensional? You mean like your personality? :smalltongue:

[Castaras]

* Inspects the body bits *

Should be able to.

* Takes them to the kitchen *

[Saurous]

Two dimensional? You mean like your personality? :smalltongue:

No, I mean having no physical depth.

My personality is more than two-dimensional, I'm a very complex and emotional individual. I think. :smallannoyed:

[Castaras]

I'm a very complex and emotional individual.

No comment. :smalltongue:

[Lord Magtok]

No, I mean having no physical depth.

My personality is more than two-dimensional, I'm a very complex and emotional individual. I think. :smallannoyed:

Everything you ever do is either:

1. I'm not a necrophilliac! Die, die, die!
2. I love making dead stuff and...umm...woo!
3. Get away from my son, you pedophile!
4. I'm bored. Lets go play video games.

[PirateMonk]

Why has the Misspelling Police taken MC away yet? I misspell one word, and every other word she types is misspelled.

They did. She's currently wanted for probation violation.

[Castaras]

* Finishes baking pies *

And now what do people want next?

[PirateMonk]

Fire? Fire is fun.

[Lord Magtok]

How about some pizza, Cassie?

[Castaras]

Pizza...

* Hands over pizza *

No extra toppings. :smallamused:

[Lord Magtok]

Thanks. *Swallows entire pizza in one gulp*

Now what are the side-effects of it? And are they going to be painful?

[Castaras]

* Hides from Magtok *

Love potion. Nice to be traditional.

[Madmal]

*Malina falls down from the roof and lands unharmed*

*yawn* there, nothing serves better that some sleeping upside down in the darkeness to cure love potion effects, missing one eye, and whatever effect MC's sword would have had....

what....

((whoah.....reaaallyyy bad timing))

[PirateMonk]

Alright, where have those liches gotten to? Don't make me destroy your phylacteries. I can do it, too.

[Lord Magtok]

Crap. I was hoping I'd get to kill this clone.

*Wanders around aimlessly, and accidently looks at a poster of Malina hanging in Fus.'s room.*

Oh, crap.

[Madmal]

Crap. I was hoping I'd get to kill this clone.

*Wanders around aimlessly, and accidently looks at a poster of Malina hanging in Fus.'s room.*

Oh, crap.

Wait, what's a poster of ME doing on that...whatever it is... room?:smalleek:

[Lord Magtok]

I dunno. He had PlayCyborg and PlayGoblin, as well as various other things. a poster of you really isn't that unusual for him.

*Orders a random robot minion to fetch flowers for Malina.*

[Castaras]

* Laughs *

Should have expected it, Magtok. And wait, you're accepting your fate as loving Mal? :smallamused:

[Saurous]

*Saurous suddenly falls from the cieling, hugging his knees to his chest. He lands on the floor with a light thump. He's wearing Republic clone battle armor and has a blaster held in one hand*

Those...damned...Genosians....everywhere....