Dementrivia I (Round 3) (Botched Military Strategies)

[Silkenfist]

Welcome to the Dementrivia, the quiz show where reality is grounded and has to go to bed without dinner.

What is this about? You can read the long description (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=35592) or accept the short explanation:
Each round, I give you one question. You send me an answer that is wrong, but as funny and entertaining as possible. After some time, I will gather your entries and reveal them. Then, you may vote for your favorite answer, thus awarding it points.

2 rounds are finished, but the contest is far from over. Try your creativity at this one


Question 3: When World War I broke out, the German General Staff faced the question how to fight at two fronts against troops from France and Russia. As a solution, the Schlieffen Plan was tried. As history has shown, the plan has failed. But what exactly was the strategy in the Schlieffen Plan?

Please send your answers as a message until Wednesday, 5 PM Eastern


Note that this is a game without signups. You can send answers/vote anytime.


Dementrivia's Season I Standings after 2 Rounds

1. Deckmaster (16 Points)
2. David94 (9)
3. Eldritch Knight (6)
4. evnafets, faerwain (4)
6. Raistlin, DLD, Lord Fullbladder, Shadow (3)
10. Rama Lei, Zar Peter, Alarra, heretic, Tormsskull, Captain van der Decken, Castaras, Atreyu the Masked Llama (2)
18. Khantalas, Indurain, Lucky, Calamity, purple cube, Blood, AwesomeGirl (1)


The Rules (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=35592)

[Shadow]

Subscription post.

[Deathcow]

Subscription post for me, too!

[InaVegt]

*crosses fingers*

[Silkenfist]

The time is over. Ladies and Gentlemen, please cast your votes for:

Question 3: When World War I broke out, the German General Staff faced the question how to fight at two fronts against troops from France and Russia. As a solution, the Schlieffen Plan was tried. As history has shown, the plan has failed. But what exactly was the strategy in the Schlieffen Plan?

True Answer: Attack and conquer France before the Russian troops are mobilized. The plan failed because it accounted for a ridiculous amount of time for the Russians to waste and because it required invading neutral Belgium, thus causing the Britain Aliiance to declare war.

You answered:

Answer 1:
The plan was to air-drop copies of the latest Order of the Stick comics all over France. In the resulting hilarity, the French would be easily overwhelmed.
Unfortunately the strategy failed due to the comic being late.

Answer 2:
It was engaging Russina troops in a land war in winter and loving, not fighting the French.
It also involved winged space alien monkey robot pirate ghosts conquering the world and handing it to the Germans as a gift.

Answer 3:
The plan was, simply put, to kidnap the daughter of the president of france and place nude pictures of her on the internet unless the french and their allies gave up. The reason this failed was because they forgot to account for the fact the internet wasn't developed yet.

Answer 4:
The Schlieffen Plan was an elegant way to out-wit opponents. The German army would send spies to infiltrate the eney countries' intellectual communities. Once the spies had enough influence on the nations' dictionary makers, they would insert certain words, replacing already existing ones. These new words were constructed in a way to make them all but impossible to pronounce. Thus, when the enemy was finally attacked, they could not give troops their orders effectively, leaving their borders defenceless, and their commanders tongue-tied.

Answer 5:
Offering both sides milk and cookies, then having a nap.

Answer 6:
The plan involved a mass invasion of Quebec, and from there conquering the rest of Canada. It was hoped that the rest of the world........ wouldn't notice.

Answer 7:
There was no strategy. Why do you think it failed?

Answer 8:
Run away!!!

Answer 9:
Simple. Ignore the french. I mean, come on! Like they're actually gonna do anything!

Answer 10:
Named for Anton von Sauerkraut von Schlieffen, a respected German ninja from the 1800s, the Schlieffen Plan involved waiting until France and Russia were both attacking, then nimbly moving Germany out of the way and forcing France and Russia to slam into each other and fall to the ground in a comical fashion.

Answer 11:
The Schlieffen Plan consisted of backing off and hoping the French and the Russians destroy each other's armies

Answer 12:
Bull rush attack over France, take Spain, above the sea, overrun USA, up to Kanada, Alaska in 3 days, then over the Bering-Street and Sneak Attack Russia from the East.
Failed because German officers couldn’t count in miles and feet while conquering the USA.

Answer 13:
Schlieffer might be able to tell you, if you find a cleric who can cast Speak With Dead.

Answer 14:
They tried to make the beast with two fronts

Answer 15:
The plan entailed reciting McGonagall at the foe.

Answer 16:
The Schleiffen plan was the result of Wilhelm II violating every one of Otto Von Bismarck's rules for warfare. As any student of history can tell you, Germany failed miserably

Answer 17:
Stop, Drop, And Roll!

Answer 18:
Human Sacrifice to the dark gods, calling upon the evil powers of cookiedom and Cthulu to smite their enemies and Hello Kitty.

Answer 19:
Schlieffen, meaning "To smell really, really bad" was the name given to the process of creating a human bio-weapon, a soldier with such potent scent glands as to incapacitate entire legions of the enemy. Given a diet that heavily emphasized fatty foods and some unusual surgical procedures to graft increasing amounts of tissue to odiferous glands, the "stink soldier" was soon born. Unfortunately, as there had been a power outage some time prior to their deployment, someone made the crucial error of lighting a match, forever destroying the minds containing the exact procedure, and all subjects that had been so augmented. At that time, the Schlieffen Plan was deemed a failure.



So much for that. Vote for the winner by replying in this thread and stating your favorite. Polls are open until Friday, 7 PM Eastern.

Vote by replying and stating your favorite. And remember to heed The Rules (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=35592)

[Raistlin1040]

Damn it! I was just about to send my PM too. Can I send mine in still?

[Deathcow]

My vote's for #5, personally.

[heretic]

I like number one.

[Eldritch Knight]

Answer 5 for me.

[Tormsskull]

I gotta vote for #7.

[Captain van der Decken]

Yeah, #7.

[Lord Herman]

I vote for #10.

[DarkLightDragon]

5 or 17...

17 gets my vote

[Silkenfist]

Raistlin: I have received another late entry, so you can send in your answer too. I'll put them up once I have yours.

[Lucky]

# 10

[Castaras]

8. Blankity.

[Calamity]

I like #1, it gets my vote.

[Shadow]

#17minimum character requirement filler

[Blood]

I vote for #5.

[evnafets]

Vote for #4

[Silkenfist]

Two late entries for you. Look at them - maybe you want to revise your votes.


Answer 20
Their plan was to pull a Leroy Jenkins

Answer 21
The Schlieffen Plan while ultimately unaffective appeared incredibly brilliant on paper. In fact, the plan was paper. The Germans believed that by littering the streets of Paris, they would create chaos and send the entire city into anarchy. Sadly the Parisians embraced the garbage, and to this very day November 18 is celebrated as Shlieffen day; where the entire city throws out a week's garbage onto the streets and leave it there until it decomposes or blows down the street to the nearby city of Malikoff.

[Khantalas]

I vote for 21.

Can I even vote?

[Silkenfist]

Uhm...why shouldn't you?

[Khantalas]

Can I even vote for myself?

[evnafets]

No, you can't vote for yourself.

The rules from the link in the first post:


The game needs just a minimum amount of rules. However, I would like to enforce these:

1) Voting for your own answer is forbidden and will simply be ignored.
2) I will not prohibit you explicitly from stating which answer is yours. However, in the interest of fairness, I urge you strongly to send me your answers and not state which one is yours directly. Metagaming is possible and as slim as the chance is, I’d like to reduce the chance of temptations/suspicions/self-doubts
3) You may debate and advocate answers, but advocating your own answer is strictly forbidden.
4) Forming “I vote for you, you vote for me”-alliances severely violates the spirit of the game and will result in exclusion from the season, when detected.

[Khantalas]

Bah. No one votes for me, anyway.

[DarkLightDragon]

I change my vote to 20!

[Blood]

I also change my vote from #5 to #20. Leeeeroooooyyyy Jenkins! :smallbiggrin:

[Alarra]

#1, I suppose.

[Deckmaster]

I must admit that #7 is far funnier than anything I could have come up with.

[Silkenfist]

Let's do this. LEEEEROY! JENKINS! But I can't vote for my own so I won't vote.

Ahem! Please have a look at


The game needs just a minimum amount of rules. However, I would like to enforce these:

1) Voting for your own answer is forbidden and will simply be ignored.
2) I will not prohibit you explicitly from stating which answer is yours. However, in the interest of fairness, I urge you strongly to send me your answers and not state which one is yours directly. Metagaming is possible and as slim as the chance is, I’d like to reduce the chance of temptations/suspicions/self-doubts
3) You may debate and advocate answers, but advocating your own answer is strictly forbidden!!!
4) Forming “I vote for you, you vote for me”-alliances severely violates the spirit of the game and will result in exclusion from the season, when detected.

[Raistlin1040]

*Sighs* I really should be using my dictionary. In my defense, I don't know what Advocating is. *deletes post*

[Zar Peter]

Answer 10!

[Korith]

You had me at Leeroy.

#20

[Silkenfist]

Third Round of Dementrivia is finished. Let's see who your favorites were:


Answer 1 by evnafets
3 votes by Alarra, Calamity and hereitc

Answer 2 by Khantalas

Answer 3 by Gezina

Answer 4 by Xaspian
1 vote by evnafets

Answer 5 by Alarra
2 votes by Deathcow and Eldritch Knight

Answer 6 by Eldritch Knight

Answer 7 by DLD
3 votes by Captain van der Decken, Deckmaster and Tormsskull

Answer 8 by Deckmaster
1 vote by Castaras

Answer 9 by Shadow

Answer 10 by Deathcow
3 votes by Lord Herman, Lucky and Zar Peter

Answer 11 by Krursk

Answer 12 by Zar Peter

Answer 13 by Blood

Answer 14 by Calamity

Answer 15 by Captain van der Decken

Answer 16 by Aegeus

Answer 17 by Tormsskull
1 vote by Shadow

Answer 18 by Castaras

Answer 19 by Korith

Answer 20 by Raistlin1040
3 votes by Blood, DLD and Korith

Answer 21 by Indurain
1 vote by Khantalas


A very even spread I have to say. Evnafets, DLD, Deathcow and Raistlin share the victory and receive double points.


Dementrivia's Season I Standings after 3 Rounds

1. Deckmaster (18 Points)
2. evnafets (11)
3. DLD (10)
4. David94, Raistlin1040 (9)
6. Deathcow (7)
7. Eldritch Knight (6)
8. Alarra (5)
9. faerwain, Shadow, Tormsskull (4)
12. Captain van der Decken, Castaras, Lord Fullbladder, Zar Peter (3)
16. Khantalas, Indurain, Rama Lei, heretic, Atreyu the Masked Llama, Calamity, Blood (2)
23. Korith, Lucky, purple cube, AwesomeGirl, Xaspian (1)


Deckmaster is still living off his glorious first round but he lost serious ground on this round's winners. It might have been even more if there were more people to vote. Why not name your favorite? It brings you solid points.

Round 4 of Dementrivia will be probably put up tomorrow morning.

[DarkLightDragon]

Hm...

*thinking*

4th Degree!

Thanks for the votes, everyone! Yes, Decken, even you :smalltongue:

[Lord Herman]

This game is fun.

[Captain van der Decken]

Hm...

*thinking*

4th Degree!

Thanks for the votes, everyone! Yes, Decken, even you :smalltongue:

Aww. I love you too. :tongue: