Donjon!

[Plerumque]

The barkeep has to put up with a lot. Mysterious cloaked figures in the corner, some bastard who keeps releasing dire rats in the cellar, adventurers coming in from out of town and cracking the economy like a nutshell, having to rebuild the tavern twice a month after they burn it in a drunken revelry... it's a tough job, but someone has to do it. In fact, the bartender might be the real hero of this story. In this particular narrative, however, he is more likely to serve as the villain, for the owner of the Adjectival Noun tavern is using the last-resort weapon that all bartenders keep in reserve, saving for a time of true strife and danger.

In short, he's calling in your tab.

The bartender, whose name you've never bothered to learn, explains that the local goblins, kobolds, and orcs, tired of oppression by the more "civilized" races, have all teamed up. This would be a terrible threat, if they had decided to attack the town and wreak vengeance. Instead, being both cowards and realists, they decided to get rascally drunk to forget the misery of their situation. The kobolds tunneled under the tavern and, in the dead of the night, stole all ten casks he had stored of the good ale, not even watered down yet, along with a few bottles of elven wine, dwarven gut-burner, and his favorite commemorative pint glass. He explains that he needs true, courageous heroes to discover the root of this menace and reclaim his moonshine, so it's too bad they're all out of town right now, but you'll do in a pinch. He says if you reclaim the pint glass and at least eight casks, he'll wipe your tab clean. Otherwise, well... he hears debtor's prison is lovely this time of year.

You may purchase items or provisions before setting out if you wish. Brigantia has Weapons and Armor 3 (Markup 5), Provisions 5 (Markup 1), and Hospitality 4 (Markup 3).

[Anubis Dread]

Bullgan was sitting at the bar munching on goat while the bartender regailed them with their story. Not a leg of goat, or goat soup, just an entire roasted goat as he downed it with cheap ale. Which the barkeeper had provided BEFORE he called in the tab, Glorg bless him him. The ogre seemed rather undisturbed, until something the inn keeper said caused him to choke on his meat in rage. Coughing and spluttering as he swallowed it down, the ogre slammed his fist onto the counter.

"No mor' dwarv'n gutburner? By Glorg tha' won' stand! I was gonna have tha' for me comin' birthin' celebration! We'll hunt down tho' little buggers in the name o' Schorg!" Thankfully Bullgan had a habit of keeping many a useless- er, useful... thing in his pack, and didn't want to part with what little coin he had. He finished his goat in a couple of quick bites, stood up, and was ready to investigate the cellar.

[Ninjaman]

"Do you know where they went?" Snatch asked after he had calmed down from the shock. "Or will we have to do the investigating?"

[Plerumque]

Hell no, the bartender says. He's not going into those caves. He explains you can start through the tunnel in the cellar, but also that he'll be boarding it back up after you go in, so you might want to find another way out.

[Eonas]

In the corner of the bar slouches what could definitely not be called a 'lady'. She wears a thick minotaur-leather outfit, a confusing jumble of tatoos on her right arm, far too many piercings, a rockin' purple mo, and a killer attitude. When I say she has a 'killer attitude', I don't mean that her bearing exhibits signs of positive thinking. No, she literally has the attitude of a killer.

It's with this attitude on full display that she stares at the bartender with her intense yellowish eyes. Everything about her, for that matter, is intense, from her clawlike fingernails, to her exceptionally long fangs, to the way she speaks to The Villain: "Filthy little buggers, kobolds. Most of them don't fight fair and the rest are pretentious old sorcerers who insist on being called Venerable Dragonwrought Loredrakes. Where can I find the lot?"

The "dire rats in the cellar" and "he's calling in your tab" quips made me giggle far more than is healthy. You have indeed gotten funnier.

I totally identify with the 'cringing at the stuff you wrote a while ago' thing, by the way (especially that opening post for the first Donjon game - in what universe is that supposed to be remotely funny or witty or clever?). I think everybody has that to some extent or another. Makes me kind of self-conscious about the things I write now, actually.

Also, what are the limits to the three posessions we're allowed to have? Presumably, any nonmagical weapon or armor, but what about the random item?

[Plerumque]

"For whatever reason, they didn't collapse the tunnels they built under here- perhaps they were planning to come back, in which case I'm glad I got you first. From there, you should be able to get into their main compound fairly easily." He serves up another round of ale, adding, "This is my last, so when you're done you'd better get going."

Thank you. I think your opening post for the first Donjon game was pretty good, though. Set the tome fairly well.

One weapon, one piece of armor, and one item that provides no mechanical benefit, is how I was interpreting the rules. It might be something required for one of your abilities or just something that helps flesh out your character, but any bonus it provides is assumed to be already factored in to your abilities (like with our Power Ranger's Morphin' Time ability).

[Ninjaman]

"Very well." Snatch replies and takes a sip from the mug.

[Anubis Dread]

"I dunno, I knew a kobol' tha' were a blast t' han' aroun' wit'," the ogre replied, downing his ale in one before peering helplessly into the cup. The last of the ale... they needed to move, and they needed to move now! "Delusion'l lil bugger tho'. Said somethin' abou' findin' a 'Sarakahg' an' turnin' into anythin' he wants. Could drink mor' than me tho', said somethin' about 'investin' in Fortatade feets'. Must've meant feet wit' holes in the bottom for the ale t' leak out."

Determining that, indeed, looking to the mug would not magically refille it, Bullgan got to his feet. "Well, no use standin' aroun' here. Let's raid us som' tunnels!"

[Plerumque]

The barkeep waves as you descend the stairs and ****s the door firmly. Despite this, dim light from the cracks in the door continues to shine through, illuminating motes of dust floating in the air. A ragged hole has been made through the floorboards, several of the planks pried up and deposited around the room. Past that is simply a black void.

[Anubis Dread]

It was a dark and creepy little hole in which the inn keeper kept his booze. He supposed that might just be because of the gaping hole though. That wasnt there before after all. Speaking of which, he supposed they should head on down it!

Walking over to the hole, Bullgan stuck his head down it, squinting his eyes in the gloom to try and see what was down there.


Yay, first roll! So this would be Discernment? Which would be done like [roll0], [roll1], [roll2] since has a 3 in that stat.

[Ninjaman]

Snatch emptied his cup and got up. "Relax man, it's just kobolds down there." He said and moved past Bullgan into the whole.

[Anubis Dread]

"Well lookin' at it it's both kobolds an'-"

Before he could finish his sentence, his new companion jumped into the hole, landing with waist deep with a half splash, half sloosh sound into some kind of fetid liquid.

"...what's either an undagroun' swamp or a crack in the sewa line," the ogre finished, before carefully crawling into the hole in the floor himself to try and avoid too much splash back.


One fact - the tunnel is flooded with fetid liquid. Sorry, couldn't resist :smallbiggrin:

[Ninjaman]

"Disgusting!" Snatch shouted out. "It got in my hair!" The fact that it would be much harder to disguise when smelling so foul was obviously the least of Snatch's problems.

Anubis Dread, this means war! :smallbiggrin:

[THEChanger]

"It's alright friend. That stink will wash right out when we're done here." A bright, cheery face appears above the hole as Bullgan lowered himself into the hole. It is a human, dressed in simple peasant clothes, except for a black leather jacket with gold-colored strips down the sleeves. A black and gold crystal is attached to a wristband on his right arm, and he carefully lowers himself down. "Name's Jason Scott. Glad to meet you all!"

[Anubis Dread]

"Well well well, 'ello Jason Scott. Seems we got anoth'r heavy drinka, gwahahahaha!" Bullgan laughed. More at the Snatch than at his own joke, but he sure wasn't going to tell him that. Well the mor' the merria, so le's jus' get a move on an' 'ead on down the tunnel."

[Plerumque]

As you're beginning to move farther down the tunnel, all of a sudden you hear a splash from the foul water farther down.

[Eonas]

Ramona jumped into the water and waded behind the others. "Is this seriously the dump where you keep our drinks?" she exclaims. "I want a refund, and I want -" She is cut short by a splash. Her ears perk up - an impressive feat given that they are at this point perfectly regular and inanimate human ears - and she sniffs at the air suspiciously.

I'm rolling to scent a humanoid. Any humanoid. 6 discernment + 2 Scent Humanoids [roll0]

[Plerumque]

[roll0]

Two successes for me. Fact: Ramona does, in fact, scent a humanoid. Fact: She also recognizes the smell from somewhere.

You get to narrate.

[Eonas]

A confused expression briefly crosses Ramona's face, then a flash of recognition. "Oh, hogknuckles. It's not funny, Jubbert!"

A diminutive... thing... rises out of the murky water. It's about the size and shape of a goblin, only covered in algae and muck. Also, it looks hideous and is grinning. "Ohaiii! Eez me, Jubbert! I keelz all yo' cheeckenz an' I playz wid all yo' toyz! An' now I keelz you and I eatz yo' spleenz!" There's a momentary pause as Jubbert somehow pulls out a gigantic algae-and-muck-covered ballista out of the water. "Soorreee... itz da King Torg's orderz! All hail King Torg!"

Introducing the psychotic goblin prankster, Jubbert!

[Ninjaman]

"Who's king Torg?" Snatch asks the unique fellow while he tries to dry his hands in his wet clothes with little luck.

Can I use confusion magic to make him more likely to tell me?

[Anubis Dread]

"Our spleenz? Wha' you talkin' 'bout Jubbert? The spleen is the worst par'! It's a spit in the name o' Glorg to so much as lick the thing! I'll poun' ya inta dust 'fore I give up MA spleen!"

The ogre charged through the muck, bringing down its wooden club on the goblin before them.


This would be Hit with Club, so [roll0]

[Plerumque]

He's dodging, so [roll0]

You get five successes; are you using them all on the Damage Test?

[Anubis Dread]

I'll use three of them and state two facts:
-The blow hit the goblin clean on the head, pounding it into the ground like a stake
-The ground underneath the goblin breaks through into another tunnel or cave.

For the damage test, I believe it's 3 for stat, 3 for DR and 3 for bonus dice, so [roll0]. Going for Flesh Wounds.

[Plerumque]

Opposition: [roll0]

Two Flesh Wounds.

The mighty blow cracks the stone beneath the weaselly goblin and drives him through the floor. A second after, another sploosh can be heard from far below.

[Anubis Dread]

"...yah! Ezy spleezy! Gwhahahaha!" Bullgan laughed, shouldering his club again before continuing their walk. "'right, let's get movin'... 'less someone wit' keener eyes than me wants ta check out da hole."

[Ninjaman]

"Well done big guy!" Snatch replied sarcasticly. "How about, next time you let them answer our questions before smashing them through the floor." He said annoyed as he followed the ogre.

[Anubis Dread]

"'e insulted Glorg! Ya don' mess wit' the ogre gods," Bullgan replied sternly as they continued to walk.

[Ninjaman]

"Look, Glorg, I am not asking you to stop bashing goblins through the floor." He said while keeping up with the ogre. "If anything that was quite amusing." He snickered. "But could you perhaps wait until after they have helped us?"

[Anubis Dread]

Seems as though a lot of the gunk was draining through the hole he'd left. That worked out pretty well. "Wha' was 'e suppose' ta 'elp us wit'? 'e was too small ta wipe 'is own nose! Gwahahaha!" The ogre laughed as they continued on the tunnel. Seriously, help from a goblin? What was he supposed to help them with, looking into a small cabinet without bending over?

[Ninjaman]

"Well, he could tell as about this so called king Torg who might be a person we wanted to know about." Snatch Replied. "But that's just a thought."

[Eonas]

Ramona glances down the hole at Jubbert and shrugs. "Sometime I'd like to meet a goblin who isn't a maniac." She pushes the ballista down into the hole on top of the goblin, then snaps her fingers at the arguing pair and begins sloshing further into the tunnel. "Shut up and come on, chumps. Those kobolds won't kill themselves."

[Plerumque]

The tunnel takes several twists and turns through the scummy water before finally narrowing and rising to an area that is dry. In the center, a few planks have been laid over the top of a dark hole, and curled up next to them is a diminutive reptilian creature, snoring deeply. You can catch the whiff of strong drink in the air, and next to the snoozing kobold is a bottle that looks suspiciously like one of the barkeep's, sadly emptied of its last drops.

[Eonas]

Hiya! Where is everybody? We still interested in playing?

Ramona rapidly sploshes over to the kobold and grabs it by the neck, holding it in front of her like a little scaly pendulum. "Oi. You, little bugger. Take me to your leader."

[Anubis Dread]

Oops. Yeah I was waiting for someone else to post since I didn't want to dominate things, then it just sort of got buried in my subscriptions :smallsigh:\

"Now now, don' be too rough on tha kobold," Bullgan began to advised his companion. "They jus' wanted ta drink tha same way we do after.... IS THA' DWARVEN GUTROT?!" his mood changed suddenly as he saw the bottle, adding his hand to the kobold and shaking it violently. "Spit it up ya clargik!"

[Plerumque]

The kobold's head bounces violently back and forth and he produces a sputtering, choking noise.

Make a krisma check.

Opposition: [roll0]

[Ninjaman]

"Take it easy guys." Snatch said and placed a hand the shoulder of the werewolf and the ogre, but didn't try to pull them away as he knew his strength was insufficient. "Let him speak up before we kill him."

[Anubis Dread]

"'sy? 'sy?! Tha guy dran' my gut rot!" Bullgan roared, before turning back to the kobold. "Lemme' tell ya somethin', drunkin kobold! When Schorg challenged Glorg to an eatin' contest, all tha oth'r ogre gods laughed. Glorg 'ad a stomach bigger th'n Schlorg whole body were! But when tha day came, Schlorg won. Ya know why? 'cause tha food they were eatin' was brussels, an ogre's worst nightmare! Glorg refused ta eat, but Schlorg stomached just one and won! Tha moral is... take us ta ya leader or I'll eat ya like a sprout!"


Bestow Wisdom check
[roll0]

[Plerumque]

Fact: The kobold tries to bargain with you. As per the rules of Donjon, you are free to narrate this.

[Anubis Dread]

The kobold, looking panicked between the two monsters holding it and yelling about eating it, practically breaks down in tears. "I-I-I'll do anything you want! Just don't eat me!" the lizard implores. "I-I can take you to our leader! I'll even t-take you down the passages that have a l-less than 50% mortality rate for w-w-walking down them! ...w-we have a high t-turn over rate for mooks due to t-traps," the kobold explained before anyone else yelled at him.

"Wats a 'mook'? Well... it's a start fer makin' up for drinkin' my booze," Bullgan grumbled.

[Ninjaman]

"Very good, and if you don't lead us into a trap we might even consider letting you live mr. kobold." Snatch replied. "And a mook means an unskilled soldier whose purpose is to die." He adds, looking at the ogre. "Just in case it might pop up again."

[Plerumque]

The kobold wriggles and squirms. "Yes, yes, of course, it's just down that hole. Er... miss? I don't suppose you'd consider putting me down now?"

[Eonas]

That Schlorg thing was, without a doubt, one of the most WTF anecdotes I've ever read, Anubis Dread.
Ramona drops the kobold into the water with a loud splash. "Well then, liz. March.

[Plerumque]

Yes, well done, Anubis. Actually... Eonas makes a good point. Take an extra XP for roleplaying your ability so well.

The kobold glances around. "Lead the way? You're sure you want me in front? I could set off traps behind me or all sorts of nasty stuff. It would be far safer for you if someone else was first."

[Anubis Dread]

Oh shucks :smallredface:. Honestly I already have my own little head canon of how all the ogre gods work, so it wasn't completely off the cuff, but I'm glad it was enjoyed :smalltongue:


Bullgan just glared at the kobold and put a hand on his prodigious stomach. "If Schlorg c'n eat a brussel, I c'n eat a kobold."

[Plerumque]

The kobold gulps. "Yes sir, of course sir. Just... ah, just follow me, then." He leaps over to the hole and begins a pathetic attempt to pry out the planks, then gives it up and wriggles through a gap, landing below with a thud, the snap of a bowstring, and a cry of pain.

[Anubis Dread]

"Dang, we jus' got da kobold an' we already broked it," Bullgan sighed, going over to the boards and beginning to pry them loose so he could get a better view on whether it was dead or just injured. "Leas' it took out one of da traps."


Virility if necessary: [roll0][roll1][roll2]

[Ninjaman]

"See? I told you it would be a good idea to keep him alive." Snatch replied.

[Plerumque]

"Don't go... making plans hinging on my demise... just yet," a feeble voice calls up from below. "Alas, I think... I may have injured my leg, and be unable to walk." It's easy to pry up the boards, and the drop is relatively short. The kobold lies in a crumpled pile at the bottom. "No... don't fear... I'll be fine. Leave me, brave heroes... leave me."

[Anubis Dread]

Bullgan stroked his scraggly chin hair thoughtfully. "Da ya think 'e'd be good for anoda trap or two?" he mused to his companions. "We cod jus' get 'im back up an' make 'im walk a bit mor'."

[Ninjaman]

"He will slow us down by walking." Snatch replied. "But you are a pretty big guy, and he is pretty small, you could carry him."

[Anubis Dread]

That didn't sound right for some reason... oh right, the kobold wouldn't be as good for detecting traps if he wasn't walking. Still Bullgan supposed he could just hold the kobold out at arms length and press it down on anything suspicious.

"Okay," he replied simply before hopping down into the pit.

[Plerumque]

Dim light from the hole shines down on the kobold, but away to either side it fades away into complete darkness. No torches or alchemical lights pierce the black, as kobolds can see in the dark. Alas, neither humans nor ogres are endowed with the same ability.

Make a Discernment check, whoever's in the lead. It's Donjon Level 1, by the way.

Opposition: [roll0]

[Anubis Dread]

It was a dark, something Bullgan was used to. Rock ogres were the chosen children of Zorg after all, and spent most of their time in his tunnels and caves. But those were a lot better lit than this - Zorg would spit on anyone thinking this place was a good place to live and sleep.

Picking up the kobold in one hand, Bullgan begins to move down the passage, gently pressing the kobold onto surfaces ahead of him to try and make sure it bore the brunt of any traps.


That would be me, I guess.
[roll0][roll1][roll2]

[Plerumque]

One success. What's your Fact?

[Anubis Dread]

One fact? Better make it an interesting one.

Fact - the hallway ends at a full length mirror.

[Plerumque]

There seem to be no traps. As you walk a bit farther down the tunnel, though, something seems to catch the tiny amount of light there is and reflect it. Only when you come up very close can you see that the corridor ends abruptly in a massive mirror that stretches from wall to wall and floor to ceiling. The kobold scratches his head. "Wasn't here last time I came through... they've been busy, I guess."

[Ninjaman]

Snatch jumps down the whole. "Wow! It is dark in here." He was annoyed that shadow magic could not remove shadows.

[Plerumque]

"Also, before you ask, I don't know how you can get past it. Try breaking it. Isn't that what adventurers are supposed to do?" The kobold's words are tinged with sarcasm, but also with a touch of bitterness.

[Eonas]

For a moment, there's a pause. Then Ramona shrugs and wades over to the mirror, drawing a gigantic chainsaw from her bag. "Well, if nobody else'll do it, I will." she says, fires up the saw, and begins slicing at the mirror.

[Plerumque]

Make an attack roll.

Parry: [roll0]

[Eonas]

Only in Donjon can a mirror parry.

[roll0]

[Plerumque]

Indeed. One success. Fact, or save for the Damage Test?

Wherewithal: [roll0]

[Eonas]

Fact: An actual hand emerges from the mirror to block my chainsaw, Karate Kid 'on-off' style.
Damage! Chainsaw DR 4+Virility 5: [roll0]

[Plerumque]

A silver hand stretches out from the mirror to block the blow, but Ramona's chainsaw cuts off three of its fingers, which become slivers of glass as they hit the ground. As the hand snaps back, the missing digits leave a large hole in the mirror, through which the rest of the passage is visible. The mirror seems to contemplate this for a moment, insofar as such an expression is possible on a mirror, and then another hand stretches out from the surface and makes a rude gesture before collapsing inwards.

[Anubis Dread]

"...whelp, tha' was... interestin'," Bullgan admitted, frowning at the mirror in fron of them. Was it safe to just peek at the hallway beyond now, or should they smash it some more first? He didn't want to get slapped by a shiny piece of... stuff... he didn't know what mirrors were made of.

Well if someone was going to do it, it might as well be the big, tough ogre he supposed. Leaning in, he tried to look into the room beyond. It was worth learning what they were smashing into before they smashed it anymore.


Discernment: [roll0]

[Anubis Dread]

Darn it, only rolled one: [roll0]

[Ninjaman]

"Well, that happened." Snatch said with a confused expresion. "So.. do we keep it,, or break it, or leave it here?" He turns towards the ogre. "What do you see?"

[Plerumque]

[roll0]

Two successes.

[Anubis Dread]

So two facts right?
-There is a hallway ahead that is made of giant, brightly colored Lego blocks.
-There's a light at the end of the tunnel, but it's purple in hue. It's too far away to tell why.

[Plerumque]

Bullgan manages to get a glimpse of a long multicolored hallway and a mysterious violet light before a hand thrusts out from the mirror with two fingers extended, aiming at the ogre's eyes.

Attack: [roll0]

[Anubis Dread]

"Oi, tha' ain't on!" the ogre complained as his hand went immediately to defend his face.


Um... it's a flat Wherewithal for the opposition unless actively dodging right? If that's the case:
[roll0]

[Plerumque]

You can either dodge or parry. Dodging is Adr, parrying is Adr + attack ability. Whe is used to defend against Damage Tests, which happen afterwards. Nevertheless, you rolled well, so you'd have avoided harm anyway.

Bullgan steps out of the way as the hand swings past. It immediately curls back in and extends a nagging finger, moving side to side.

[Anubis Dread]

"Grrrrrrrrr SMASH!" Bullgan roared, bringing his club down on the mirror. This mirror must DIE!


Hit with Club: [roll0]

[Plerumque]

Parry: [roll0]

Wherewithal: [roll1]

Initiative: [roll2]

A hand emerges from the mirror, catches Bullgan's club mid-swing and tosses it back down the corridor.

[Anubis Dread]

Bullgan looked stunned down in his hands, before down the corridor where his club was. "Tha'.... Tha's not nice," was all he could think to say. The mirror looked like it would be a harder fight than he'd thought.


Initiative=[roll0]

[Ninjaman]

Snatch gathers power.
[roll0]
Edit: Wow what a crappy roll.

[Anubis Dread]

Bullgan's club was gone, and it would take too long to get it. Looks like he'd have to do this the hard way.


Gathering magic power: [roll0]

[Eonas]

Envigorated by the satisfying sound of shattering glass, Ramona lifts her chainsaw again and stabs it at the hand. She hadn't had this fun destroying a mirror since that one time at drama class. Ah, drama class. She'd liked the teacher - he'd tasted amazing when grilled and served with a little bit of gnomish hot-sauce.

Presumably, my Fan the Flames ability would apply here since I just dealt damage? In which case, attack = Adr 5 + Fan the Flames 4 = [roll0]

[Plerumque]

[roll0]. Three successes.
[roll1]. One success.
[roll2]. Five successes.

Turn order from here: Ramona, Ramona, Mirror, Mirror, Snatch, Ramona, Ramona, Ramona, Snatch, Bullgan, Bullgan.

[Eonas]

Yay, I wasn't expecting a success this resounding! Spending four of those successes on facts.
* The party somehow all fall through the looking-glass.
* It's a VERY long fall.
* The spirit in the mirror falls down with us.
* We encounter a variety of strange objects on our way down.

5 Virility + 3 Chainsaw DR + 1 success = [roll0]

[Plerumque]

Ramona smashes through the mirror, and a sudden suction from the space beyond draws the others in too. Behind the mirror is a deep, dark pit, and it seems like the fall takes minutes. In the dim violet light, you can see a number of objects tumbling out of where the mirror was- a green kobold frozen in fear, a bouquet of flowers, a hammer and nails, another reinforced bottle of dwarven ale, a stack of plates, a few rotting planks, a goblin statue, and a rusty polearm.

Wherewithal: [roll0]

A silvery mask falls as well, scowling, but is chopped in half midfall by another swing from Ramona's chainsaw. Everything lands with a cacophonous noise of shattering and clattering, the bottle of ale smashing on the ground and spraying its acidic contents around, the goblin statue breaking off most of its limbs, and the kobold splatting. Everyone else lands on their feet, and on all sides of them they can see walls that seem to be made out of mysterious bricks of primary colors. Ahead is a pedestal of the same substance rising from the ground, and from an object atop it bright purple light floods the room.

[Eonas]

Ramona peels herself off the ground and looks over at her companions, then at the debris. "Pleasant trip?"

She then begins scrounging in the ground. She'd thought she'd seen something dark and shade-shaped as she fell...
Search check. I'm looking for Shades of Style +1. Adds to Sociality.
I'm rolling the opponent's effeective treasure level (3) against the item's value, as determined in the magic item section of the rules. The value here is the bonus x4, since it's a magic item that adds to an attribute. But I'm going to reduce the value by 1 (to 3) by adding a curse die. Screw me over, DM.
Me: [roll0]
Opposition: [roll1]

Oh, well, failure. I'll just narrate this now because you don't get to state facts IIRC.
Nothing. With a sigh, Ramona gets out of the debris, slings the chainsaw over her back, and looks around her. "That object... that's probably one of those 'look don't touch' deals, isn't it? I definitely shouldn't touch it, should I?"

And with that, she begins walking over towards the pedestal to touch the object.
Don't resolve my bit of narration just yet. Let's maybe give the others a chance to do their looting first.

[Anubis Dread]

Yay, loot! Alright, so that's a Discernment Check right? ...I just realize that Bullgan left his club upstairs. Well, that makes deciding what to search for easier. Searching for a Greatclub of Breaking Objects That Are Normally Breakable Already But This One Makes It A Little Easier Than It Would Be Normally +2.

Rolls: [roll0]
Opposition: [roll1]

And ties are a success here, so yay loot!


"Tha' were a trip t' ya?" Bullgan groaned as he got onto his hands and knees. "I'm neva gonna go on a trip wit' ya if tha' were ya idea o' one. It 'urt, trips are supposed ta be fun."

Rummaging around for a bit to see if there was anything of worth, the ogres hand closed around something familiar feeling. Frowning, he got to his feet and examined... a club. Made of solid, gnarled stone. From the shiny, glass mirror. Well he wasn't complaining. Shrugging, Bullgan swung it to feel its weight before putting it over his shoulder and following the lead of his companion.

[Ninjaman]

[roll0]
[roll]1d6[roll]

"Well.. That was over quickly." Snatch sighs and tries to snatch something from the insides of the mirror.

[Ninjaman]

Awful roll was awful.
[roll0]

Edit: Three successes!

Facts:
Snatch finds a ring
The ring is a ring of illusion
The ring improves illusion spells

[Ninjaman]

D20s:
[roll0]
[roll1]

facts:
Snatch finds a ring
The ring improves illusion spells

[Plerumque]

Ramona's finger clinks against the object, and abruptly the violet light shuts off. Resting atop the pillar is a crystalline orb, catching what little light remains and refracting it around the cave in a spray of rainbow. At Ramona's touch, smoke begins to well up in the innards of the orb, coiling around until it begins to form into recognizable letters. Peering carefully into the sphere's eldritch depths, Ramona can make out the words, 'Reply hazy, try again.'

[Ninjaman]

Searching for a Ring fo sneaky illusion + 2
[roll0]
[roll1]

Aww.

[Anubis Dread]

That was a funny looking crystal. Frowning, Bullgan picked up the orb and shook it violently. "Wha' do ya think is tha deal wit' this?" he asked curiously. There wasn't anything else in the room, so he might as well try and get some answers.


Gathering some magic power to attempt to caster Speak (with) Stone. I believe it would be two die, so:

[roll0]

[Plerumque]

Concentrate and ask again wells up in the smoky letters of the orb.

Opposition: [roll0]. No successes.

[Anubis Dread]

Wow I suck at spell rolls. Not going to risk loosing magic power for the day rolling again.


"Uhhh... wha' are ya?" the ogre tries again, frowning in concentration as he slowly speaks the words.

[Plerumque]

Don't count on it spells itself out in hazy letters.

[Eonas]

Ramona grabs the ball and stares at it. "Look, smart-aleck, tell us what the Baator you're for, or I swear I'll smash your smug little surface area."

Soc check: [roll0]

Oo! Awful rolls. I'm looking forward to narrating.

[Anubis Dread]

"Ooooo, new club!" Bullgan grinned, hefting his new item in his hands. It was made for smashing, and this thing needed to be smashed! It was a match made in heaven.

[Plerumque]

The sphere appears to consider this for a moment. Then, in quavery, uncertain letters, it spells out, Signs point to... yes?

[Anubis Dread]

Ohhhhh, he got it now! The odd crystal thing could only spell out things in yes or no answers! Maybe... hm... the best way to test it would be to say something he knew was true, and see if the crystral responded to it.

"Bally, am I han'sum?" Bullgan asked, running a hand vainly over his hairless scalp.

[Plerumque]

Better not tell you now, forms in the center of the orb.

[Eonas]

Ramona glances first at the ogre, then at the sphere. "Right then, that's enough. In the bag you go, smart-aleck." She grabs it from Bullgan, stuffs it in her bag, and then looks around. "So, back to murder-hoboing. Which way's the kobold king?"

[Eonas]

There's a pause as Ramona waits for an answer. Then she shrugs. "Right, then. I don't know either. Let's break stuff."

She reaches into her bag, trying not to wince when her hands brush against various mushy, moldy, and mandibled items (which was odd, because she thought for sure she'd thrown out her mechanical insect collection), groping around for that one rune of rapid entry she'd saved for "emergencies". And this was definitely an emergency: for one thing, she was trapped leagues underground in a purple room with two absolute strangers. For another, beer was on the line.

Can I search for an item that'll make a door in a wall? What would be the Worth of that?

[Eonas]

"Aha! No runes, but an Extreme Molotov Cocktail!" cries Ramona as she pulls out a largish wine bottle full of blackish liquid. "Don't ever drink this stuff." she adds, giving her companions a significant glance. "It tastes nothing like an actual cocktail. I know firsthand. Run for cover."

She lights the cocktail, throws it full-force agains the nearest wall, and dives behind the pedestal.

[Anubis Dread]

That would be fine, he hated cocktails. Throwing booze against a wall though? It was borderline sacrilidge, it was!

Frowning in puzzlement, the ogre none the less takes cover with the others. Maybe it was supposed to eat through the rock? He'd drunk some stuff that could probably do that.

[Ninjaman]

As Ramona said run for cover Snatch quickly hid behind the closest corner. What was this sorcery she had in mind to throw against the wall. Whatever it was he was now positive that he was the most sane in this group of three, and that couldn't be good.

[Plerumque]

Shards of rock explode from the point of impact, and the rest of the wall crumbles into a heap of flaming rock. Behind it, several ranks of multichromatic lizardy fellows stand dazed, spears pointing towards the ground. Those at the front of their formation lie stunned and bleeding on the ground. Behind the lines of kobold soldiers is an blue kobold draped with charms, trinkets, and human teeth, carried on a litter by four of his servant. He raises a staff with a massive tooth on the top and screams in a surprisingly high pitched voice, "Aldravul'dreskkan!"

"Oh god it's the humans!"

[Anubis Dread]

"Gesunteight!" Bullgan bellowed back, raising his club in one hand and his... hand... in the other. There were lots of the little lizards this time! Looked like he'd have to gather his magic and see what he could toss at them.


Gathering magic:
[roll0]

[Eonas]

The chainsaw explodes into a menacing whirr, and Ramona grins far too widely. "Good morning, little piglets! Time to make sausages!"

Attack roll: [roll0]

... At least I'll get to narrate myself missing?

[Ninjaman]

Snatch stands behind and pulls out his knife. Better to not get too involved in the melee, his two new.. acquaintances, seem to be better fighters than himself.

[Plerumque]

The kobolds squeal as the blade hums over them, but at a harsh word from the chieftain they bring their spears up, forming a protective wall around his litter.

Using an ability to add dice to the next Dodge roll by the chieftain.

[roll0]
[roll1]

[Ninjaman]

Snatch gathers power:
[roll0] vs [roll1]

That's 3 right?

Snatch's eyes become completely dark as his hands are covered in a purplish lequid that doesn't seem to drip.

[Eonas]

"This little piggy's going to the butcher... Ramona chants. She leaps at the nearest kobold, her chainsaw cutting a great rainbow-shaped arc through the air as it whirrs down into the pack of kobolds.

Attack: [roll0]

[Eonas]

The kobolds scatter before Ramona's leap (briefly reminding Ramona of that one time at a concert where her bandmate Fatso the Gelatinous Sphere attempted a stage dive) and Ramona's chainsaw slices into the ground. Bits of dirt are flung into the air as chainsaw and ground make contact, a bone lying on the ground breaks in two, and...

... the ground bleeds thick, red blood from the chainsaw-created gash in its surface.

[Plerumque]

The kobold carried on the litter raises his staff, and electricity begins to crackle over his scales, crawling over his body and flaring from the corner of his eyes.

[roll0]
[roll1]

[Plerumque]

The kobold lowers its staff and curses in a harsh, reptilian tongue as the energy dissipates. It continues the flow of invective in the draconic language, which sounds as if a rock was being repeatedly bashed on a cave wall, spitting and gesturing in a way that leaves no room for misinterpretation. Suddenly calming, it focuses and begins to chant again, sparks leaping off of it like static electricity.

[roll0]
[roll1]

Two successes.

[Ninjaman]

Cast Spell (Mass Disarray)
Word: Confusion (0 dice)
Effect: Small group (+1 dice)
Duration: One combat (+1 dice)
Effect: Confuse a small group, attacks directed against them are rolled at more dice for the rest of the combat.

I spend my two gathered dice:
[roll0]


I was unsure what was fair for the effect, would it be alright if other tests against them were easier as well?

[Plerumque]

Yeah, that should be fine.

Save vs. Illusion and Confusion: [roll0]

Snatch's mesmerizing magic curls around the kobold horde, but they shake it off and glare at the party with fresh venom in their eyes.

[Eonas]

Ramona throws her arms up in the air, her chainsaw spinning uselessly above her, and begins belting out a beautiful, moving punk rock ballad. Its chorus begins with 'We will, we will, rock you and murder you and all your children with a pickaxe and tear you up into tiny little pieces and then burn your toenails and spit on your graves'.

This is a song of encouragement for her. So, presumably, most of her successes will be used on her next attack?
Sociality 4+Howl like a Rockstar 3: [roll0]

[Plerumque]

[roll0]

One success, although that seems odd, as you would have had three or four successes if you hadn't rolled that 18.

[Eonas]

"Refreshing." Ramona says when she's finished. She spins around, her chainsaw twirling wildly and randomly around her, and slashes at the staff-wielding kobold."As I was about to say, this little piggy's getting carved..."

Oh, well. At least I won the test. Using my lonely success as a bonus die.

Adroitness 5 + 1 success: [roll0]

[Plerumque]

[roll0]

3 successes. Using them all for Flesh Wounds?

Sorry, thought that was a Damage Test. Dodge roll in next spoiler.

[Plerumque]

[roll0]

One success.

[roll1]

[Eonas]

Using the success to state a fact: blood coats the room.
Virility 5+DR 4 [roll0]
Six successes, right?

[Plerumque]

The kobold leader raises his staff to block the blow, but Ramona slices cleanly through it, and the others in the room turn their eyes away as the werewolf goes to systematically dissecting the kobold. Blood spatters the cavern walls and runs down in smears of red. The other kobolds look down at the chunks of their chieftain and back up. One of the younger-looking kobolds, a green one, finally speaks. "Ahh, Miss Cuisinart? How about truce?"

Snatch's turn, if you wish to continue combat.

[Ninjaman]

Gathering magic again:
[roll0]

[Ninjaman]

Forgot to roll for opposition:
[roll0]

[Eonas]

Oh, whoops, was it my turn?

Sociality check: [roll0]
I want to gain information.

A bloodsoaked Ramona grins with red-coated teeth, letting her chainsaw roar uselessly beside her. "You're right. Why be hostile when we can be friends? Why don't you tell me, nice friends, where I can find King Torg and some grog you disgusting little lizards filched off a respectable bartender?"

[Plerumque]

Rolling in secret, if you don't mind.

"Torg? Ah, ah. Torg, umm... in mines. They made him throne of big sparklies. Liquor all been drunk or taken by green-skins." The kobold, green himself, spits.

[Eonas]

Ramona frowns. "All drunk? You should have lied to me, poor bastard. Friends don't let friends drink all their beer and escape alive." She holds her chainsaw behind her like a baseball bat, and swings.

5 adr = [roll0]

[Plerumque]

[roll0]

X successes.

The kobolds scatter briefly, and Ramona's chainsaw whirs through. Its gnashing blades bite deeply into the ground, and more blood pools around her feet. "Please," says the green kobold calmly, as the mob of lizards begins to reform. "No more of this. The earth can't take much more."