Duck999
2014-08-16, 11:33 AM
I just recently wrote a prologue to a story I have been thinking about for a long time. The story is about a world where lies don't exist, except in a few people. These people call themselves Liars. They can lie, and no one else will ever suspect them because they don't know lies exist.
I wrote a prologue to the story.
Lies, I like the sound of it. Roger was pressed against the wall, a large sword pointed directly at his throat. One wrong move and his head would fall off his body.
“I said: What are your intentions?” Yells the shadowy figure that is holding the sword.
With no sign of hesitation or nervousness, Roger gives his response, “I come in peace.” The sword lowers, and Roger steps away from the wall, rubbing his sore muscles.
“Good. I was worried that we were under attack when you came charging in here, without waiting for the guards to allow you in.” The shadowed figure says. Stepping out of the shadows, Roger sees the man's form, which is extremely thin for someone who overcame him so easily. The man's brown hair was a mess, swirling around his head, as if it were never neatened. “My name is Thomas.”
“Roger.” Thomas beckons for Roger to follow. He leads Roger into a large castle, decorated with marble and gilded with gold.
“Now, what have you come for?” Thomas asks.
“I must speak with the king. I have urgent news from Witherrock Hill.” Thomas nods, once again leading Roger through the castle, until they get to a set of giant oaken doors. Thomas signals to the guards, and the doors slowly open. Both Thomas and Roger kneel, as the throne comes into view, king sitting atop it. The king raises his staff, and beckons them forward. He beckons to Roger for him to speak.
“Your majesty. Witherrock Hill is under attack by dragons. Not one, but two. Our army is not large enough to stop even one. I was sent to ask for a large portion of your army to help fight off the foul beasts.”
The king pauses for a moment, then says to Thomas, “You know what to do.” Thomas nods, and leads Roger out of the throne room and into another chamber.
“You will spend the night here, you do not have the stamina to make it all the way back to Witherrock without a good nights rest.”
“No! I must go back. The army needs me. If I stay they might all die.” Lying is too easy. No one expects it, since they don’t even know about it.
“At least let us feed you some of our best food. A messenger of your likes should be rewarded.” Thomas brings Roger to a dining hall, where a chef is waiting with a silver platter. Roger sees the food, a great chicken, and can’t help but want to eat it all. No one but the king could get such good food.The chicken was set in front of him, and he immediately started eating. After a few bites, he started to feel full, but he couldn’t stop eating. Soon he was unconscious.
Roger awoke in a holding cell. He bolted upright, realizing he hadn’t completed his mission. He pounded on the wall of the cell demanding to talk to someone. A guard came over.
“There must be some mistake, I am just a lowly messenger, I don’t know why I am in here.”
“My commands are to keep you here. You are a prisoner. You stay here until sundown.”
“What happens at sundown?” Was the immediate response, but the guard had already walked away. He hoped this was all some mistake. As he drifted in and out of a fitful sleep, Roger saw the shadows on the walls changing. When sundown came, a guard came with it, bringing Roger out of his cell. His wrists were bound behind his back, and weights were attached to his ankles. He was gagged, and brought outside, and dragged onto a platform next to Thomas.
A crowd stood, silently watching as Roger was dragged onto the platform, and Thomas began to speak. “This man, Roger, disguised as a lowly messenger snuck into our castle in an attempt to disturb the peace.” Roger wanted to scream. Yell that he did nothing. Though he was gagged, he knew if he could speak, the crowd would believe him. But then he realized something terrible. What Thomas was saying was all lies from anyone else's point of view. Only Roger himself knew his true intentions. That must mean that Thomas could lie. He wasn’t the only one. Thomas continued. “Disturbing the peace is punishable by death, but this man didn’t only try to disturb the peace. He tried to make a fool out of the kind. For this, he shall have a slow death!” The crowd yelled and cheered, as Thomas raised his sword, and swung it, slowly taking of each of Rogers limbs. Then the sword came back, and took off his head. Even as the crowds cheering died down, Rogers scream echoed off of the castle walls.
Thank you for any feedback you give me.
I wrote a prologue to the story.
Lies, I like the sound of it. Roger was pressed against the wall, a large sword pointed directly at his throat. One wrong move and his head would fall off his body.
“I said: What are your intentions?” Yells the shadowy figure that is holding the sword.
With no sign of hesitation or nervousness, Roger gives his response, “I come in peace.” The sword lowers, and Roger steps away from the wall, rubbing his sore muscles.
“Good. I was worried that we were under attack when you came charging in here, without waiting for the guards to allow you in.” The shadowed figure says. Stepping out of the shadows, Roger sees the man's form, which is extremely thin for someone who overcame him so easily. The man's brown hair was a mess, swirling around his head, as if it were never neatened. “My name is Thomas.”
“Roger.” Thomas beckons for Roger to follow. He leads Roger into a large castle, decorated with marble and gilded with gold.
“Now, what have you come for?” Thomas asks.
“I must speak with the king. I have urgent news from Witherrock Hill.” Thomas nods, once again leading Roger through the castle, until they get to a set of giant oaken doors. Thomas signals to the guards, and the doors slowly open. Both Thomas and Roger kneel, as the throne comes into view, king sitting atop it. The king raises his staff, and beckons them forward. He beckons to Roger for him to speak.
“Your majesty. Witherrock Hill is under attack by dragons. Not one, but two. Our army is not large enough to stop even one. I was sent to ask for a large portion of your army to help fight off the foul beasts.”
The king pauses for a moment, then says to Thomas, “You know what to do.” Thomas nods, and leads Roger out of the throne room and into another chamber.
“You will spend the night here, you do not have the stamina to make it all the way back to Witherrock without a good nights rest.”
“No! I must go back. The army needs me. If I stay they might all die.” Lying is too easy. No one expects it, since they don’t even know about it.
“At least let us feed you some of our best food. A messenger of your likes should be rewarded.” Thomas brings Roger to a dining hall, where a chef is waiting with a silver platter. Roger sees the food, a great chicken, and can’t help but want to eat it all. No one but the king could get such good food.The chicken was set in front of him, and he immediately started eating. After a few bites, he started to feel full, but he couldn’t stop eating. Soon he was unconscious.
Roger awoke in a holding cell. He bolted upright, realizing he hadn’t completed his mission. He pounded on the wall of the cell demanding to talk to someone. A guard came over.
“There must be some mistake, I am just a lowly messenger, I don’t know why I am in here.”
“My commands are to keep you here. You are a prisoner. You stay here until sundown.”
“What happens at sundown?” Was the immediate response, but the guard had already walked away. He hoped this was all some mistake. As he drifted in and out of a fitful sleep, Roger saw the shadows on the walls changing. When sundown came, a guard came with it, bringing Roger out of his cell. His wrists were bound behind his back, and weights were attached to his ankles. He was gagged, and brought outside, and dragged onto a platform next to Thomas.
A crowd stood, silently watching as Roger was dragged onto the platform, and Thomas began to speak. “This man, Roger, disguised as a lowly messenger snuck into our castle in an attempt to disturb the peace.” Roger wanted to scream. Yell that he did nothing. Though he was gagged, he knew if he could speak, the crowd would believe him. But then he realized something terrible. What Thomas was saying was all lies from anyone else's point of view. Only Roger himself knew his true intentions. That must mean that Thomas could lie. He wasn’t the only one. Thomas continued. “Disturbing the peace is punishable by death, but this man didn’t only try to disturb the peace. He tried to make a fool out of the kind. For this, he shall have a slow death!” The crowd yelled and cheered, as Thomas raised his sword, and swung it, slowly taking of each of Rogers limbs. Then the sword came back, and took off his head. Even as the crowds cheering died down, Rogers scream echoed off of the castle walls.
Thank you for any feedback you give me.