A little Bit Silly I (In Character)

[Rendel Nep]

The six, ten, eleven or even twelve of you have set forth in the dark towering apartments of Rorimmoglamm, the Forgotten Gauntlet of Flying Madness just north of Automata. Your exploits within the complex are numerous but best left to be told elsewhere but thankfully there were few tentacles* involved. You have been lead here to on a chase to rescue a dozen orphans kidnapped in the dead of night. Miss Fluffles has managed to track their scent thanks to the strong odor of stodgy porridge mixed with the tears of scared children. In the depth of your hearts you know, that here on the Outlands, when someone kidnaps orphans it’s almost certainly not in their best interest.

As you've ascended in the to the heights of Rorimmoglamm, you have come across Megaera. The wizard made herself known to the party in the prelude to a skirmish with some baatezu. Her sudden appearance had infuriated a Falxulgon in the middle of his impassioned vile monologue boasting of his ingenious designs on the multiverse and how he'll show his superiors who was the true master and let's just say... Megaera proved to be at least not an enemy**. You're not sure what to make of the young (?) succubus but she seems friendly enough and as far as Klavier and Miss Fluffles can determine not very inclined to seduce. Certainly not in the last four hours and she’s been in the presence of Klavier. She’s far more interested in reading which probably means she is insane***.

You now stand in front of the last door of the building and from what be determined from layout of the building**** the room behind it has to be massive. Miss Fluffles recognises the unmistakable odor of cat blended with the familiar smell of porridge and the sounds coming beneath the door confirms that there are more than a few felines... Steel yourselves adventures! For your very lives could depend it.
*Apart from those that get conjured up with that spell that Megaera likes although that's a more recent development. Eecchh.
** Those tentacles again, Dragooze might have randomly bellowed that it was FULL BUT LIKES THOUGHT OF HAVING TAKEAWAY MEAL but he did just engulf a syndic of devils.
*** Relative to other demons. Sanity is very subjective of course.
**** This is one of those boring building where the inside is consistent with the outside.

[darklink_shadow]

Klavier snapped his fingers, Achtung! Here lies our goal! The children must be beyond this door! Let's kick this door open! Herr Bear, rip that door open, digga! Klavier flipped his Axe from the being a weapon to being an instrument, kicked it up to 11 and jammed out a riff to thunderous applause*.

DRAGOOZE SMELLS CATS TOO. ARE THEY EVIL CATS? CAN DRAGOOZE EAT THEM? Dragooze's alien and bizarre mind bubbled out words that popped in each of your minds. DRAGOOZE DEVOURS EVIL.



DRAGOOZE has mind sight, and telepathy 100ft. Does he detect anything tasty?

*Because of his adoring fans (aka, followers from leadership) randomly exists while he plays music, and don't when he isn't. I wonder where they get to?

[TiaC]

Feralak likes where this is going "The end is in sight! Let's kick some kitty tail!"

Therness hesitantly speaks up, "I um, actually kind of like cats, so could we maybe be nicer to them?"

Aerenix says "Perhaps we should come up with some sort of plan for this? I know it hasn't really been our style so far, but why not shake things up a bit and not just charge in like idiots."

[darklink_shadow]

Plan? Plan?! Herr Bear! He thinks we don't have a plan! Strumming his guitar, Klaiver strikes a pose, pointing two fingers at the multi-headed beast. ACHTUNG! The plan is simple! Save the children! What more do you require? What could you possibly even consider?! We must save the children!

[TiaC]

"She, actually. I suppose I'm unsurprised at that. However, have you considered what we will do if they decide to make use of their hostages? We can easily melt the room to slag, but there might be some objections if the children were within that area.

Esk-Kadar speaks up, "Perhaps if our more occult companions could begin by separating the children from the battle?"

[NekoIncardine]

"Interesting challenge to pull," Megaera considered aloud. "There isn't a lot of telling as to who will be where, though, which makes any plan beyond 'you focus on the kid's safety, you focus on bringing the cats to heel, you deal with whoever else is invariably in there trying to kill us."

To Megaera, the idea of helping good guys do good things wasn't especially abhorrent, as long as they didn't give her crap when she did bad things for perfectly sensible reasons. (Her definition of perfectly sensible could be rather screwy, at least according to a few Planars she'd encountered, but pffft what did Planars know?)

She put a finger against her chin. "My natural charm powers don't know the boundaries of race or gender, so I might - key word might - be able to get the cats on our side. I'd be more likely to be able to influence the kids into staying clear, though."

Megaera hadn't had the most time since she'd gotten with this group - no time to prepare one of her signature weaves (or, more precisely, to explain it to the party enough that they'd know to trust her). "Just before we go in, I can cast Haste to get us moving quicker. So gimme an 'on three' at least, okay?"

[darklink_shadow]

Ha! I wrote a song called "On Three!" Well, less of a song, and more of a: THREE, TWO, ONE, GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Klavier beats his guitar, once, twice, thrice and then jumps into a full fledged solo. After a round, he stops.

I could do that. But not time, with feeling!*



*No one can deny, when Klavier plays "with feeling" they get inspired. #InspireCourage

[Vhaidara]

I have a plan.
The massive bear looks at the the brown bear beside him.
Vladimir and I go in. We kill these cat beasts. We save the children. Klavier provides background music. Dragooze clean up dead cat beasts. Simple, no?
He checks his steelclaws, making sure that they are well secured.

[whoiam]

"...I'm not sure 'all the bones I can scavenge' is really worth this..." Not least because getting to the actual meat involved going up against a pair of bears and that... ooze... thing. And who knew what the demon would eat? This job was just getting worse with every person that joined up...

...if only she'd known to have someone stick cotton wool in her ears first! Inspiring as the music was, she wasn't entirely sure that it was a worthwhile trade vs the headache that repeated Guitar Solos had given her.

Still, no time to moan. Or attempt retributive scent marking**. She had an excuse to attack some sort of cat, and no self-respecting dog could refuse that challenge!

"I'm with the bears. Killing cats makes everything better. After... well, whoever can reach the handle. These towers aren't as dog-accessible as they *should* be..."


** Retributive scent marking = widdling on Klavier's guitar so he'll put it away for once.

[Ellowryn]

So we are doing plan C then? "Everyone does whatever they want and try not to get each other killed"? Zuokenson sighs, As we seem to be doing that plan more often than plan A, Running while screaming, or plan B, running while screaming and trying to blow everything up as we leave, as of late i believe we should move the plan up a few letters.

Manifest Share Pain on psicrystal and fully augmented Vigor, also readying an action when combat starts to manifest Astral Construct

[darklink_shadow]

Klavier snaps his fingers and strikes another pose. FANTASTIC! ALL RIGHT! We are all in agreement again then! Everyone rush in and do whatever, so long as the children as saved! THREE, TWO, ONE, GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Klavier jams on his guitar, and tries to kick down the door.


Klavier uses his move action to start a Bardic Performance: Inspire Bros using Dragon Fire Inspiration and Words of Creation.

Result: Klaiver takes [roll0] nonlethal damage, and everyone will deal 6d6 extra fire damage on all weapon rolls as his lights things up!

Following that, Klavier drops his stance to grab his Axe by the handle, ready to use the weaponize guitar as a greataxe, and then enters a Rage, gaining +4 STR and CON, and +2 Will Saves, along with a dozen awesome powers. Well a quarter of a dozen awesome powers. So 3. And one of them isn't awesome, so much as a prerequisite for his prestige class. But, whatever, man, Chaav On!

Finally, [EDIT: as his standard action,] Klavier attempts to kick down the door. Maybe just refluffed opening the door. Whatever. ACHTUNG!

Nothing yet. It depends on if anything he sees on the other side of the door "looks" evil to him.

[NekoIncardine]

"I think he might've been-"

And then the count started. Immediately, Megaera raised a gloved hand, starting to twitch her fingers in an elaborate pattern, lines of arcane energy criss-crossing them...

"O, Speed Force, grant us a momentary glimpse of thine full power! Haste!"

... In hindsight, she'd ask for a longer count than three next time. For the moment, however, the best she could do was shift into a basic fighting stance and be prepared for whatever came next.


Standard Action: Haste on the party via one of her third-level held slots. (Haste is one of her Mastered spells.) For seven rounds, full attacks provide one additional attack at full BAB, you have +1 to attack rolls and +1 dodge bonus to AC and Reflex, and all modes of movement are increased by thirty feet.

Move Action: Nothing special.

[Rendel Nep]

Klavier kickes down door... revealing nothing. The room through the door appears be to an old temple or dance hall . Regardless of its former purpose, a massive organ sit on top of a steeple. The stool is occupied by a wiry hair old human woman. She turns and grins, her teeth either missing or replaced by gold. "Hellllooooo, Deary!" She greets you. "More vistors? Goood! Just in time for Dinner!".

[darklink_shadow]

Klavier's rage subsides for a moment as he bows. Ach, how rude of us! Of course I'd love to... wait a minute! ACHTUNG! You're going to eat the children aren't you?! Yeah! That totally fits with the troupe! Great, you probably also got them all fat and now they are going to struggle for many years with trying to get back into a healthy and fit shape, and some may even develop diabetes! Your reign of sugarcakes ends now, person who is probably a witch of some sort! Dragooze, eat her!

DRAGOOZE WILL COMPLY. WITH RELISH. OH HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN SINCE DRAGOOZE LAST FEASTED ON THE FLESH OF THE WICKED? DRAGOOZE KNOWS NOT, FOR IT HAS BEEN QUITE SOME TIME NOW!

Those fiendish dire were-elephants could not have been more than fifteen minutes ago.

AGES, IT HAS BEEN AGES SINCE DRAGOOZE HAS EATEN! DRAGOOZE WILL RELISH DEVOURING THE WICKED AND CRUEL WITCH, WHO DESIRES TO MAKE CHILDREN MORE DELICIOUS, A GOAL THAT DRAGOOZE TOTAL EMPATHIZES WITH BUT UNDERSTANDS IT ACTUALLY EVIL AND MUST NOT BE DONE.

[Rendel Nep]

TEE HEH HEH HEH HEH! The eccentric centenarian crone cackles. No they're much to valuable to be mere meat.... You on the other hand... She licks her lisps lustifully. will do nicely.*

As soon as my kitties are done with you, I'm going to dispatch the merchandise. You've interfered for the last time you ignorant interloperers! She proclaims before evaporating in a purplish mist.


*I cringed as i wrote that. I hope you did too. EVERYONE ROLL INITIATIVE!

[darklink_shadow]

No, the second to last! The last time will be when we defeat you for good! Klavier shouted. After she vanished, he clearly paused to think for a moment. Wait, who even is she? That was nemesis level banter. Whatever!

ACHTUNG KITTIES! If you leave now, no harm will come to you! If you remain, we will be forced to step on your tails... or something.

Klavier paused again. Looking back at the party he frowned. I don't really want to beat up someone's pets though. I'm sure as evil as we all know cats are, they are redeemable with the proper training and enough human interaction at a young age.



[roll0] For Klavier
[roll1] For DRAGOOZE, The Hero of Slime

Talking about hesitating, roll a 2 on INIT. That's how it goes.

[Neely]

A large tree person suddenly come barreling into the building as if late, carrying a greatsword. She seems really excited.
WOAH! Hey guys! I hear we're killing evil stuff?
A small, rat-like creature sits amongst the branches on her head. He lets out a loud chuckle.
So we're saving orphans this time? Ollie, make sure I don't say any your mama jokes while we're here, alright?

Initiative: [roll0]
Also it's worthy of note that Paron has true seeing.

[TiaC]

"I give her a four out of ten for the dramatic exit. She's not sticking to a theme well enough, slipping out of matronly to impersonal." Aerenix says.

"Leave your judging for later, we have more important work to do now." Sve-Numil replies.

"We don't want to hurt you, kitties, but the children's parents want them back. They'll be very sad if we don't bring them back. Can you let us take them?" Therness says.

[Vhaidara]

The mighty bear roars his defiance as he steps into the room.
Sniveling kittens! Surrender, or I will tear your throats out myself!
Vladimir adds a roar in agreement.

Nesti: [roll0]
Vlad: [roll1]

Also, I haven't actually seen any mention of kittens or cats being in the room. Did I miss something due to (my own) idiocy?

[whoiam]

Miss Fluffles is rather more confused than most of her colleagues as she trots into the room. Her nose specifically said cats and humans, so where were they? She tried sniffing again. She hadn't thought the trails smelled stale...

"Somehow, they don't smell like the sentimental type to me... Oh, and don't worry, Klavier. I'm sure these cats are all too old to give to loving families as housepets. But if I find any kittens I'll be sure to be extra merciful to them, just for you!"


[roll="Will"]1d20+21[/will]
[roll0]
[roll1]

The will save is in case there's a disbelievable illusion hiding the 'cats'. (The gap between what Fluffles' nose is reporting and what her eyes are reporting should give her the chance to make such a check...). The Survival check is Miss Fluffles trying to track the source of the scents she was smelling from outside the door. And the initiative.... well, you know what that's for.

[Ellowryn]

I am forced to agree with Aerenix, not the best exit, not to mention it sort of left us hanging allowing us to prepare for whats next. Not to mention the "kindly" old lady with many large ferocious cats? Way overdone, i would say 3 out of 10 overall.

Still holding my readied action and will delay until combat starts, but will also Spellcraft check to try and understand what she did, along with disbelieve any illusions, and initiative.
Spellcraft [roll0]
Will Save [roll1]
Initiative [roll2]

[NekoIncardine]

Megaera, for her part, simply stepped a ways into the room, fists at the ready, nary a word spoken. Quite a pile of them had already been spoken, best not to swamp the poor soon-to-be victim of the fists of something vaguely resembling justice.


Per roll in OOC, Initiative is 6.
Megaera counts as armed for the purposes of Attacks Of Opportunity.
Haste is on the party for seven rounds.

[TiaC]

All ten of F.E.A.S.T.'s eyes go wide. Esk-Kadar yells out ""Hellcats! Four of them! Right in front of us!" F.E.A.S.T. darts into the room and each head breathes a cone of energy directly ahead at what seems to be nothing.

F.E.A.S.T. 5-ft step in through the upper door. Then all five heads will breathe straight ahead, affecting a 15' cone. This should include two of the hellcats. Three heads will use Clinging Frost Breath, one will use Clinging, Entangling, Frost Breath and the last will use Slow Breath. DC 26 reflex save to half each breath. They also use their frightful presence if they have a swift action available, forcing all four hellcats to make a DC 19 will save or be shaken for 10 minutes.

Tumble to avoid the AoO from the first hellcat: [roll0]
Breath 1: [roll1]
Breath 2: [roll2]
Breath 3: [roll3]
Breath 4: [roll4]+EE (http://dndtools.eu/feats/races-of-the-dragon--83/entangling-exhalation--900/)
Breath 5: 2 rounds slow (1 w/save)
Clinging breath means that they will take half the damage they take this round next round.

[Rendel Nep]

Whether due to the fearsome draconic might locked in their tiny frame or perhaps because the fearsome felines felt like they had just been blasted by the very essence of the Stygian wasteland, FEAST's boreal breath left them chilled to the bone. Apparently little FEAST left them in disarray and break the psychic silence.

"Like OMG What HAP-PEN-ED?"

"We got like blasted by that knock off Tiamat double-you Tee Eph!"

"Like being c-c-c-c-cold is s-s-s--o-o-o n-n-n-n-o-t cool!"

"Aww, but it's sooooo cute"

"and what's this existential dread! I HAAATE EXISTENTIAL DREAD!!"

Shut up Stacy!

Stick with the plan and get ready.

The two Hellcats are reading an action. Youtube search hellcats and realise I have no cultural experience with this phenomena.

[whoiam]

If there was one thing Miss Fluffles didn't like, it was cats. If there was one thing she liked even less than stock cats, it was invisible cats. Just as likely to mess up your scent markings or hide your chew toy, but even harder to hunt down afterwards. Truly, there was only one thing to be done in such a situation. Turn invisible yourself and see how much the cats liked it!

Using Miss Fluffles' standard action to use her at-will Invisibility (From Vow of Poverty Remix's Shadow Step ability). I don't think I have enough actions this round to ready an action to charge the first cat that Miss Fluffles can see... so I'll just have to charge them normally on the first round proper!

[TiaC]

F.E.A.S.T. banters a bit.

"So, why did we just dive headsfirst into danger again?"

"We're just awesome like that."

"Ah, of course, how ever could I forget?"

"Deal with hellcats now, argue later."

There's a bit of grumbling, but Feralak and Aerenix settle down at Sve-Numil's rebuke.

"So, as we are faced with Hellcats, I must admit to some questions as to them. They are outsiders of the lower planes, but what, other than invisibility, does this grant them? I think they are intelligent, but I am not certain and short of them speaking, unsure how to find out."

"Here's how you find out. Hey ugly! Yo mamma was a Krenshar and your father was omega to a Hound Archon!"

[Rendel Nep]

A giant fiendish look praying mantis appears out of nowhere. Meanwhile, to those who can see them, other two Hellcats change their stance in anticipation of their oncoming prey.

Someone went and cast Summon Monster IV.

Paron still needs to act during the surprise round.