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View Full Version : Help.... player crazy



Nagash
2014-08-22, 12:10 AM
Preface, I'm an experienced DM, I run a sandbox game but its definitely more beer and pretzels, rule of cool then serious. But its been going for 2 years and everyone has been having fun I assume ( you come back each week for 2 years, must not suck) and no one experienced to the game wants anything to change.


About 2 months ago one of my players wanted to bring some people in. He was running a game on other nights and it didnt work out for I dont know why, i wasnt in it. That was date night for me. But some of his players needed a game and he wanted to bring them in. He's a wacky player, the sort that gives a DM issues but always for good RP reasons so I said cool bring em.

One of them immediately starts pitching trading off GM weeks. I have no issues with this, its good to rejuvenate sometimes and see the other side. So I agree, we make characters and get started. And the other "GM" Immediately falls asleep. At 6PM.

I ignore it because her husband and their other roomy are good players. But when her week comes up I have something else to do ( honestly i had my kids for longer then normal and they are higher priority then any game) This happens for a couple weeks and each week I get drama for not making her game.

So finally 5 weeks into her game (each week of mine she immediately falls asleep, often before we even start the game) me and my roomy make one of her games and its terrible. Not bad GM thread terrible but just totally asleep at the sandbox wheel terrible. We wandered around for 3 hours and managed to have lunch with one of the existing players as an intro terrible.

So several of us dont want to be part of her game at all. And she is supposedly deepy invested in it. I want to keep her hubby and roomy as players, couldnt care less about her. But i dont know how to handle this, looking for suggestions

Anxe
2014-08-22, 12:44 AM
For her showing up at your campaign and falling asleep... That's rude, but there are some players that aren't really in it for the gaming part of roleplaying. I'm not really sure why she'd be in it for sleeping instead of spending time with friends, but whatever. Don't make her character important and that shouldn't matter.

For going to her boring campaign... I'm the type of person who would offer her advice on what she's doing wrong. And if that doesn't help... I'd stop going. If you want to stay friends you can do that outside of playing D&D. If you don't... then you don't.

Beneath
2014-08-22, 01:29 AM
Showing up and falling asleep is ruder than missing a session, with advance warning, no question; it seems kinda obnoxious to the first and complain about the second.

As for her campaign, it depends on what the problem is (maybe ask the other players in the group if it's usually like that). If she doesn't have anything to do in the world, then she needs to add that or give up. If she's having trouble presenting hooks so that you know about the interesting stuff you can go and do, but there are things she means for you to do, she might be as frustrated as you are, and that's a time for you and the group to sit down and talk about that (paraphrasing the Dogs in the Vineyard rulebook: the GM shouldn't take the position of someone trying to hide a mystery from the PCs; the GM should want to show the players the awesome thing they made, even if the NPC they're using to present it wants to hide part of it from the PCs. It can be a hard mindset to get into, but it helps if you remember to try)

dilepoutee
2014-08-22, 04:49 AM
Nice Info. Thanks.

DontEatRawHagis
2014-08-22, 07:40 AM
I'd be prepared to find out she has a sleeping disorder. I have two players who have some form of medical issues involving that.

I'd bring something up.

Millennium
2014-08-22, 07:53 AM
I'd be prepared to find out she has a sleeping disorder. I have two players who have some form of medical issues involving that.

I'd bring something up.
I was going to say; it sounds like there could be health issues here. I had to cut my sessions back to once every two weeks to accommodate a player with problems that don't sound completely different from this.

Nagash
2014-08-22, 09:55 AM
Showing up and falling asleep is ruder than missing a session, with advance warning, no question; it seems kinda obnoxious to the first and complain about the second.

As for her campaign, it depends on what the problem is (maybe ask the other players in the group if it's usually like that). If she doesn't have anything to do in the world, then she needs to add that or give up. If she's having trouble presenting hooks so that you know about the interesting stuff you can go and do, but there are things she means for you to do, she might be as frustrated as you are, and that's a time for you and the group to sit down and talk about that (paraphrasing the Dogs in the Vineyard rulebook: the GM shouldn't take the position of someone trying to hide a mystery from the PCs; the GM should want to show the players the awesome thing they made, even if the NPC they're using to present it wants to hide part of it from the PCs. It can be a hard mindset to get into, but it helps if you remember to try)

I'm gonna try this, thx.

As for the medical issue some other people brought up... maybe. I dont know and dont feel like I know her well enough to pry into medical stuff. But I mean hell, your unemployed, have literally nothing to do but sleep 6 days a week. Grab a damn energy drink or dont come at all. I'm really miffed at how rude it is and how totally unnecessary.

DontEatRawHagis
2014-08-22, 11:40 AM
I'm gonna try this, thx.

As for the medical issue some other people brought up... maybe. I dont know and dont feel like I know her well enough to pry into medical stuff. But I mean hell, your unemployed, have literally nothing to do but sleep 6 days a week. Grab a damn energy drink or dont come at all. I'm really miffed at how rude it is and how totally unnecessary.

If. You sleep too much it can cause fatigue. When I was unemployed/working holiday hours I felt worse and more tired than normal when I was able to sleep in. Now that I have regular work hours I'm more awake.

AMFV
2014-08-22, 12:56 PM
Does she fall asleep while she's playing in other games or is it only when she's GMing?

Millennium
2014-08-22, 01:16 PM
As for the medical issue some other people brought up... maybe. I dont know and dont feel like I know her well enough to pry into medical stuff.
No need to pry more than necessary; just ask if she's all right the next time it looks like she's about to fall asleep.

But I mean hell, your unemployed, have literally nothing to do but sleep 6 days a week. Grab a damn energy drink or dont come at all. I'm really miffed at how rude it is and how totally unnecessary.
I understand your frustration. Believe me, I do. Yes, it's rude for her to commit to this thing that she clearly isn't able to handle. But you're doing her a disservice by assuming that this is nothing but rank laziness on her part. It could be, but there is another, much more innocent possibility: there could be a disabling illness which would also explain her employment situation. You owe it to your player to find out if this is the case.

Jay R
2014-08-22, 04:55 PM
Talk to her. Tell her how you feel, and ask her how she feels.

There is no solution that doesn't go through this first step.

huttj509
2014-08-22, 05:27 PM
I'm gonna try this, thx.

As for the medical issue some other people brought up... maybe. I dont know and dont feel like I know her well enough to pry into medical stuff. But I mean hell, your unemployed, have literally nothing to do but sleep 6 days a week. Grab a damn energy drink or dont come at all. I'm really miffed at how rude it is and how totally unnecessary.

Sleep disorders don't work that way. Well, some might, but others definitely don't.

"My body tries to suffocate when I sleep." "Well, just almost suffocate for longer each day!"

Though I have asthma, allergies, and sleep apnea. My body's all "breathing? That's for squares, why would I do that?"


Take a deep breath. Engage. Communicate. Talking has a better chance of solving issues than not talking because "it should be obvious" or something.

AMFV
2014-08-22, 05:31 PM
Talk to her. Tell her how you feel, and ask her how she feels.

There is no solution that doesn't go through this first step.

I would acutally recommend talking to your friend (Her S/O) first. Since you know them and otherwise you'd be prying into potentially a serious area. Tell him that you're not sure you can continue to do the game if things don't change.

kyoryu
2014-08-22, 05:50 PM
Talk to her. Tell her how you feel, and ask her how she feels.

There is no solution that doesn't go through this first step.

We have a winner.

Nagash
2014-08-23, 09:29 AM
Does she fall asleep while she's playing in other games or is it only when she's GMing?

all the time. I asked her SO and apparently no medical issue, she's just always been like this

AMFV
2014-08-23, 10:26 AM
all the time. I asked her SO and apparently no medical issue, she's just always been like this

That is odd, I would say that's pretty rude, but you aren't going to be able to get a change from her. Confronting her is likely to breed resentment from her, and probably won't accomplish anything (since people that have these sorts of habits and aren't willing to change them for loved ones are very rarely willing to change them for strangers). Now it's possible that there is an undiagnosed medical issue, actually depression is very likely. But that's not your business, you need to figure out "If she doesn't change can I still enjoy this game," if the answer is no then you should leave, if the answer is yes, then you should stay.

Ettina
2014-08-24, 09:33 AM
all the time. I asked her SO and apparently no medical issue, she's just always been like this

Keep in mind that some people have medical issues they don't know about, too.