Intelligent magical items as player characters?

[Geriont]

So, I had an interesting "problem" yesterday. It involved one of my would-be players (not introduced in the campaign yet) wanting to be a magical frying pan. Dont ask...

I told him it would become boring after a while, but promised to look through the books available to me (DMP, PHB, MM and MM V)
if there was a way to become a speaking frying pan (optional magic abilities). Of coarse I found the section about generating random intelligent magical items, but the book never covers if a player could actually BE a magical item.

I torpedoed the whole thing eventually by having him roll a %dice on that table, and he agreed that if he rolled lower than 60 (required to get speech), he would play a "normal" character. He rolled a 14, not enough for anything good and thus went for a gnome wizard. The problem: I know exactly, that the moment he figures out a way to transform himself into a frying pan without dying, he will do it.

So, the question stands: Can Players opt in to be a magical item and how/with which spells could someone transform a gnome into a magical frying pan? Just so I know what to avoid in the campaign.

[satcharna]

It is somewhat possible with a variety of methods, most of which have some flaw or other that you as GM could easily knock it down with.
The gist of it is fairly simple, you polymorph an item into a living creature, cast a mind switch on it, then dispel the polymorph from yourself. If you want you could just say that polymorph doesn't create life, or that he automatically dies when the polymorph wears off, and then change the spell in question for each new variety he attempts. The spells you want to be particularly worried about is Animate Object and Awaken Construct. Without these spells you could simply tell him he has no mental stats.

I don't think you should worry yourself about him wanting to play a sentient frying pan so badly though. Like you said, he's going to find himself bored rather quickly. All you need to do is ask him if he wouldn't prefer to have an actual character when that happens.

"Oh hey, a frying pan that talks. Cool. I'll keep it in my kitchen and occasionally use it to cook."
"Wouldn't you rather bring me on your adventures?"
"Pff, what use would I have for a frying pan in a dungeon."

[Divide by Zero]

Use the Psionic Sandwich (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?109072-Playing-a-sandwich-!) trick, then do some level draining shenanigans until you're at the appropriate starting level for the campaign with the class levels you want.

Worth noting that if they stick with a psionic class, they could actually do quite a bit with the right power selection.

[Geriont]

good thing there are no psionics in the world, right? I just have the core rulebooks plus the mm V, so thats whats being used. Kind of a new Dm for DnD anyway.

Polymorph was a thing I thought about too, but the spell description says it needs a "willing" subject... is a frying pan willing? Or is "willing" just "not refusing"? Kind of problematic that whole wording. And another spell was "wish" or "limited wish". Could someone, with the correct wording, get himself made into a magic item?

And I kind of expect suggestions like this one from that particular player and I was thoroughly willing to let it slide if it was feasible (not only possible) in the boundaries of the rules. It would have been a phase, I would have warded off the suggestion from another player to be a horse and everything would have been fine.

[Divide by Zero]

good thing there are no psionics in the world, right? I just have the core rulebooks plus the mm V, so thats whats being used. Kind of a new Dm for DnD anyway.
If it's a matter of not having the books, there's psionic stuff in the SRD. (http://www.d20srd.org/) I recommend giving it a try once you're more comfortable with DMing, it's better balanced (aside from a couple of obvious outliers) and more fun than the core magic system IMO.

Polymorph was a thing I thought about too, but the spell description says it needs a "willing" subject... is a frying pan willing? Or is "willing" just "not refusing"? Kind of problematic that whole wording.
Polymorph Any Object gets around that, as the name implies.

And another spell was "wish" or "limited wish". Could someone, with the correct wording, get himself made into a magic item?
With Wish, sure. But that has built-in DM screw potential, and isn't available before high levels without cheese (or a Candle of Invocation - seriously, don't let them get one of those).

[Geriont]

Candle of Invocation

Now I have to look that up....

Ahhh. ok, no problem, there is no cleric in that group. Yes, they have no healing spells what so ever. Great fun for me.

[Divide by Zero]

Now I have to look that up....

Ahhh. ok, no problem, there is no cleric in that group. Yes, they have no healing spells what so ever. Great fun for me.

No, that's not it, it's the part where you can use it to cast gate (which any class can do). And summon an efreet. And make it give you wishes.

Does anyone in the party have UMD? Or is there a bard? Wands are usually the best form of healing anyway.

[Geriont]

No, that's not it, it's the part where you can use it to cast gate (which any class can do). And summon an efreet. And make it give you wishes.

Does anyone in the party have UMD? Or is there a bard? Wands are usually the best form of healing anyway.

oh, I see... But only 1% of genies got that ability, or can you specifically say "I want a noble Djinn"? Because that would be broken.

Two rangers, one wizard. None of the rangers got a Charisma score that is worth ****. But they are still only lvl 3, things can go up, maybe if one of them dies.

[Mrc.]

oh, I see... But only 1% of genies got that ability, or can you specifically say "I want a noble Djinn"? Because that would be broken.

Two rangers, one wizard. None of the rangers got a Charisma score that is worth ****. But they are still only lvl 3, things can go up, maybe if one of them dies.

He means an efreet not a Djinn. Efreet are more what you'd class as evil, though off the top of my head I can't remember whether they appear in MM1.

If you want to completely stop him trying anything like this at early levels, look through the first three or four steps of creating Pun-Pun and publicly ban them. Other than that, just don't give him something that powerful as loot and you should be gravy.

This gives me an idea for an adventuring party: A single squire who carries around tons of cutlery, each item secretly a PC. It's be hilarious, especially watching the 'Fighter' try and make the most of 0ft reach and no weapons, but the best part would be coming up with a name. Something like "Pots and Pans inc."

[Geriont]

Yeah, efreets are in there, I just looked at the wrong entry/mixed up djinn with genie in general.

And yes, they are not getting that... Or actually, they could, because they know nothing about DnD aside from the basics.

It would have become the "all but one PCs are items/creatures" thing, because thif players GF oogled the horse entry in a way that made me a bit uncomfortable. She just opted for a demon hunter (basically a ranger) instead, go figure.