Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then

[Sith_Happens]

**For the last time, the word is "kill." Not "befriend."

* Nonlethal damage is not a valid substitute for Diplomacy ranks, no matter how much of it I can deal.

[Gnomes2169]

*Am no longer allowed to say the mundane poetry is so bad that it deals psychic damage.
**Am no longer allowed to "prove" that it can exist by attempting to write it.
***No, being the DM does not give me carte-blanche on this.
****No, I may not call for a sanity check either.
*****Oh my Gygax, nothing can possibly be that- MOTHER OF GOD MY EYES.
******Will no longer question my DM, or read his poetry.

[Ksheep]

*Am no longer allowed to say the mundane poetry is so bad that it deals psychic damage.
**Am no longer allowed to "prove" that it can exist by attempting to write it.
***No, being the DM does not give me carte-blanche on this.
****No, I may not call for a sanity check either.
*****Oh my Gygax, nothing can possibly be that- MOTHER OF GOD MY EYES.
******Will no longer question my DM, or read his poetry.

******* I should make sure my DM isn't a Vogon before joining his game.

[blacklight101]

n+1* Will always make sure to keep a towel handy, just in case. If the DM finds out I don't have one again, bad things might happen.

[Gnomes2169]

n+1* Will always make sure to keep a towel handy, just in case. If the DM finds out I don't have one again, bad things might happen.

n+2* Must find a towel that is not pink and covered in rubber duckies.

[Anonymouswizard]

n+2* Must find a towel that is not pink and covered in rubber duckies.

n+3* I shall also keep the rubber duckie towel, just in case we are gaming with a small child.
n+3* I shall make sure all towels have a nutrient soaked corner, in cased the DM vetoes ordering food.

[Gnomes2169]

*May no longer pull out my DMG, point at the DM and yell out, "I challenge thee for leadership!"
**Not even if he doesn't have a DMG himself, and I'm the DM in all of our other games.

[Loxagn]

*The instant the A.T. Tactician can rip the weapons from the MP-Evas' hands and start skewering them a la End of Evangelion is the instant the character really ought to be retired.
*Not allowed to point out to the DM that I only had access to that power because, when searching for AT Powers to mimic, I was told 'everything'.

[Milodiah]

*No longer allowed to complain about graphics pop-in when the DM suddenly remembers to describe something he left out.
**Nor can I say "Loading...loading...loading..." while making circular gestures as the DM flips through pages.

[Anonymouswizard]

*No longer allowed to complain about graphics pop-in when the DM suddenly remembers to describe something he left out.
**Nor can I say "Loading...loading...loading..." while making circular gestures as the DM flips through pages.

***I cannot point out the terrible voice acting at all.
****Complaining about the bad special effects whenever the wizard casts is only funny the first few times.

[DigoDragon]

*May no longer pull out my DMG, point at the DM and yell out, "I challenge thee for leadership!"
**Not even if he doesn't have a DMG himself, and I'm the DM in all of our other games.

I actually tried that once. Succeeded. :smalleek:

[unseenmage]

I actually tried that once. Succeeded. :smalleek:

Hate when that happens. #forevertoDMalone

* No longer allowed to use twitter as the basis for the language of entire races in our homebrew game.
** No, not even in a dystopian consumer driven future where the internet has become physical reality.
*** Especially not allowed to use NerdRaeg-speak.
**** Table flipping is not a form of saying goodbye.
***** Table flipping is especially not another way of saying hello.

#theywouldeitherspeaklikethis #or #like #this
Either would be infuriating I'm sure.

[Sith_Happens]

I actually tried that once. Succeeded. :smalleek:

All the better for the quotes thread.:smallwink:

[Mr.Cobalt]

*If you have to use the phrase "I follow the blind monk" regularly in a campaign and it's the sanest thing anyone at the table has ever said, you need a new party and/or DM.

[Rater202]

*If my superhero's entire stick is using his magic to preform miracles with the intent of convincing people he's the Messiah, I'm expected to be more creative than "make beer appear out of thin air"
**Even if my miracle worker's civilian name is "Maxwell", he may not call his heroic persona "Miracle Max"

[Ksheep]

n+3* I shall also keep the rubber duckie towel, just in case we are gaming with a small child.
n+3* I shall make sure all towels have a nutrient soaked corner, in cased the DM vetoes ordering food.

n+5* The other corner should probably be an anti-depressant, in case the DM violently kills my character

[Gnomes2169]

n+5* The other corner should probably be an anti-depressant, in case the DM violently kills my character

n+6* The third corner shall be soaked in Naphalm, in case the DM violently kills my character with a random encounter. >:(

[Anonymouswizard]

*If my superhero's entire stick is using his magic to preform miracles with the intent of convincing people he's the Messiah, I'm expected to be more creative than "make beer appear out of thin air"

* Even if it uses a superhero system, naming my character "beer man" isn't allowed.
** I may not have alcohol based powers.
*** Or alcohol induced powers.
**** No, my character cannot be drunk anyway.
***** I cannot be drunk in person.

All bar the last were banned, because a fellow player asked if we could start in a brewery.

[DigoDragon]

*If you have to use the phrase "I follow the blind monk" regularly in a campaign and it's the sanest thing anyone at the table has ever said, you need a new party and/or DM.

That actually came up once in a Shadowrun campaign. It was... scary. :x


* Taking doses of Jet and Psycho does not make one a barbarian.
** Nor does carrying molotov cocktails and a cigar make for a wizard.
*** A ranger isn't one who throws teddy bears stuffed with C4 explosives.
**** Wrapping a parking meter in duct tape does not remove the improvised weapon status.
***** We are no longer allowed to start a LARP club in the capitol wasteland.

[Prince Raven]

***** We are no longer allowed to start a LARP club in the capitol wasteland.

* May no longer convince the party to start an IC Vampire: the Requiem LARP during a Pathfinder game.
** I may also no longer convince others to start an IC Pathfinder game at Elysium during a Vampire: the Requiem LARP.

[Ksheep]

* May no longer convince the party to start an IC Vampire: the Requiem LARP during a Pathfinder game.
** I may also no longer convince others to start an IC Pathfinder game at Elysium during a Vampire: the Requiem LARP.

*** Nor may I start an IC Call of Cthulhu during the IC Vampire: the Requiem LARP during the Pathfinder game.
**** NO RECURSIVE GAMES OF ANY DESCRIPTION!

[Invisifly2]

*I may not toss commoners out of 120 story windows to "teach them a lesson"
**Even if I cast delay death on them first
***Even if I hit them with healing spells afterwords
****I may not toss commoners out of 151 story windows instead
*****I may not toss PC's out of any window
******I may not kick any PC's out of any window instead
*******Even if they have wings
********I may not toss anyone out of any window
*********I may not toss anything out of any window
**********Even if we're in Prague
***********Especially if we're in Prauge
************I may not use "historical accuracy" as a means to bypass the previous bans
*************I may not be within 50 feet of an elevated window
**************I may not be within 100 feet of any window
***************I may not make holes in the walls to bypass these rules
****************While not technically windows, any holes in the walls are to be treated as such
*****************Cliffs and platform edges are also to be treated as such


Future campaign in a city, and the majority of the time we were in skyscrapers or floating platforms. Honestly the DM should have expected such shenanigans. Especially since I've done this sort of stuff before. To pregnant teenagers, none-the-less. We had plenty of fun though, solid rp. (the part about Prague is made up, tbh, rest though is solid).

[Lodraygazagtar]

*Not allowed to throw sea-sponges at the DM (don't ask)
**My paladin doesn't derive his divine powers from the DM
***I am no longer allowed to sing bard songs aloud.
****Licking kobolds won't make me a sorcerer
*****My druid is no longer allowed to use beast form for "disgusting purpose". In fact, my beast form was ret-conned to sea-sponge. That is, until I tried to throw myself at the DM. Immobile sea-life are not proper projectiles, apparently.

[IZ42]

*no longer allowed to grapple flying things
**especially wyverns
***or dragons
****ESPECIALLY if they're already flying
*****moreso if they're 300 ft up.
N+1*even if I have always survived the inevitable fall.
N+2*it doesn't matter if the rest of the party could catch me easily.

[Anonymouswizard]

*I may not toss commoners out of 120 story windows to "teach them a lesson"
**Even if I cast delay death on them first
***Even if I hit them with healing spells afterwords
****I may not toss commoners out of 151 story windows instead
*****I may not toss PC's out of any window
******I may not kick any PC's out of any window instead
*******Even if they have wings
********I may not toss anyone out of any window
*********I may not toss anything out of any window
**********Even if we're in Prague
***********Especially if we're in Prauge
************I may not use "historical accuracy" as a means to bypass the previous bans
*************I may not be within 50 feet of an elevated window
**************I may not be within 100 feet of any window
***************I may not make holes in the walls to bypass these rules
****************While not technically windows, any holes in the walls are to be treated as such
*****************Cliffs and platform edges are also to be treated as such

******************I cannot carry a window around with me.
******************* "The Defenestrator" is not a valid superhero.

[GPuzzle]

******************I cannot carry a window around with me.
******************* "The Defenestrator" is not a valid superhero.
******************** If he is from the Czech Republic, do a favor and defenestrate yourself.

[Wookieetank]

******************** If he is from the Czech Republic, do a favor and defenestrate yourself.

*********************Not to be surprised if in Mother Russia, window defenestrates you. :smallwink:

[GPuzzle]

*********************Not to be surprised if in Mother Russia, window defenestrates you. :smallwink:
********************** Imitating a basketball narrator when the person defenestrates himself will get me defenestrated too.
*********************** Stop using "defenestrate"!

[Wookieetank]

********************** Imitating a basketball narrator when the person defenestrates himself will get me defenestrated too.
*********************** Stop using "defenestrate"!

************************Not to point out that this running gag now resembles the opening credits of Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

[GPuzzle]

************************Not to point out that this running gag now resembles the opening credits of Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
************************* Are you saying windows migrate?

[Ksheep]

************************* Are you saying windows migrate?

*************************************** I am not allowed to add more than one asterisk per added item on the list
************************************************** ** I must always remember the above rule

[Hiro Protagonest]

*I am allowed to be a combo breaker

*Not allowed to play a bard or the closest system equivalent just so I can play soundtracks during scenes and say "it's what my character would do!"
**Not allowed to make characters in modern/sci-fi settings who carry music-players around for this either
***Not allowed to play a fantasy-metal song for plot recap
****Especially if it's a parody of the genre
*****And it's the actual plotline

[Rater202]

************************* Are you saying windows migrate?

**************************May not ask people if they know the terminal air velocity of an unladen window.
***************************There is no difference between a European window or an African window.

[Wookieetank]

**************************May not ask people if they know the terminal air velocity of an unladen window.
***************************There is no difference between a European window or an African window.

(not quite what I was referencing, but we'll go with it)

N+1** If at any point the players have twisted the campaign into a recreation of a Monty Python movie they shall be sacked.
N+2**** If the DM fails to see this happening, he shall be sacked.
N+3******As accurate as it may be, placing a sack upon someone's head is not considered sacking them.

[Anubis Dread]

* When playing an all girl version of this (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?290243-High-School-Harem-Comedy-(Game-System-PEACH)) I may not roll up a five foot tall, flat-chested girl with maximized Conflict.
** Especially when they are to be introducted during a beach episode
*** Shorts and a baggy shirt is not harem girl beach wear

* When making a roll I have almost no chance of winning, it is okay to take a penalty using one of your abilities to gain a bonus later.
** It is NOT okay to somehow win that roll anyway.
*** Especially when I roll a -1 on a d6.

* Falling into someone's cleavage is part of the genre and is okay
** If I do fall face first into an adult's cleavage though, I should back up immediately, not go limp.
*** When the adult asks 'are you going to start motor boating?' sarcastically, my response may not be 'would you let me?'
**** Especially when the adult is the mother of the protagnist and she is right next to me.
***** I may not somehow turn this into an excuse to leap face first into the protagnists cleavage later in the same scene.
****** Even if she's okay with it.
******* If another girl falls boob first into my face, my first reaction may not be to give her bust a 7/10
******** This may not devolve into a length discussion about the protagnists bust compared to her mother's, and whether boobs should or should not be ranked on a bell curve.
********* Even if the protagnist brought it up.

* When talking about school attendance rates, I cannot boast that I have a roughly 50% attendance rate this year, which is almost double what it was the year before that.
** Especially not to a teacher.

* In art class I cannot hold up an empty math book and claim it's an abstract art piece.
** You rolled what? ...I cannot hold up an empty math book and claim it's an abstract art piece more than once.

* It is okay to use Conflict to get a seat next to the protaganist.
** It is NOT okay to fluff it as whacking everyone in the area away with a metal ruler.
*** When the teacher calls me on this, I may not say I was experimenting with physics.
**** e=mc2 does not stand for Einteins Marital 'Correct or Chain or whatever'

* When told I should go to the therapists office accepting is a good idea.
** Accepting because you heard early that day that the therapist is hot is probably not the reason you should be going.

* Saving one of my fellow girls from being bitten by one of the other vampire girls is commendable.
** Doing so because I was pissed off with the vampire and threatening to shatter their teeth open by slamming them face first into a wall is not.

* A heart felt session with the therapist is good character development.
** I must however look at the therapist's face, not boobs.
*** Even if they are stunning.
**** Even though they don't seem to mind.
***** When the therapists says they used to model with a succubi, my first instinct should not be that I need to visit google when I get home in case there are pictures.
****** I should not send any pictures I find to the protagnist.
******* Even if I know she'll be into them.

* Being a little prejudiced towards vampires is acceptable.
** Being so because I feel I can't compete with them as they 'can give people the big o just by biting them on the neck' is not.

* It's acceptable to have never watched Buffy.
** My only frame of reference for the show may NOT, however, be a movie I watched called 'Busty: The Vampiress Sater'
*** Joss Whedon was not that annoying kid from Star Trek: The Next Generation
**** I may no longer talk about Joss Whedon.

* Joining the Judo club fits in character.
** However I should not do so because 'I already kick ass, I might as well make it official'
*** Hitting below the belt in judo is generally grounds for a temporary suspension.
**** Even if I claim I didn't know.

* When confronted with a spooky halloween mystery, my first instinct may not be to grap a random student and threaten them into solving it for me or be slammed face first into a desk.
** Especially in front of a teacher.
*** Even if I mention that my threatening her and not actually doing it is a huge step up from previous behaviour.

[Anonymouswizard]

(not quite what I was referencing, but we'll go with it)

N+1** If at any point the players have twisted the campaign into a recreation of a Monty Python movie they shall be sacked.
N+2**** If the DM fails to see this happening, he shall be sacked.
N+3******As accurate as it may be, placing a sack upon someone's head is not considered sacking them.

N+4* I may not fire the posters responsible for the list, or else I will be fired and the list completed in a different style.

[Rater202]

*Even if I'm playing a character with a Messiah Complex, I still can't take Jesmon as my partner.
**Okay, but I have to take him as Huckmon and raise him to Mega, just like everyone else.
***If by some miriacle I manage to raise him to Megalevel, I am under no circumstances permited to alow the Hunter/General in the Party to Digifuse him with Lucemon, just to see what happens.
****Relatedly, may not Digifuse Jesmon with Alphamon and/or Omnimon(Omegamon)
*****Alphamon, Jesmon, and Omnimon are not the Holy Trinity.
******Not glowed to play character's with Messiah Complexes anymore.
*******Royal Knights are banned as partner Digimon now.

[ReaderAt2046]

* "I didn't realize he'd actually do it!" is not a good enough justification for suggesting that a fellow party member drink the BBEG's mind control potion.

[Invisifly2]

* "I didn't realize he'd actually do it!" is not a good enough justification for suggesting that a fellow party member drink the BBEG's mind control potion.

**"I knew he'd do it" isn't good justification either.

*When given funds to acquire a translator for the party, I may not return with a firearm.

*When books are inevitably thrown at me, I may not construct forts from them.
**I may not yell "Book-fight!" and return fire.

[Gnomes2169]

*Not allowed to use intellect devourers ever again.
**Especially not the 5th edition ones.
***When the barbarian player's first reaction to the intellect devourer is to back as far away from the table as he can, squirming in disgust and crying out, "No" as fast as he can, I am not allowed to have just the biggest of grins on my face.
****When his next reaction is, "KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!!" I am not allowed to start laughing.
*****I am not allowed to use three intellect devourers.
******One of them is not allowed to get away off screen, scrabble along the ceiling and give the barbarian a heart attack.
*******That intellect devourer is not allowed to come back later, wait just outside of the party paladin's room, drop down on the NPC paladin when he comes to discuss things with his PC friend, and then have the predictable results occur.
********Not even if the PC paladin is able to win.
*********When my player's faces look as follows, I have done my job: ;-; and O_O

*I give the best birthday presents.

[illyahr]

*Not allowed to use intellect devourers ever again.
**Especially not the 5th edition ones.
***When the barbarian player's first reaction to the intellect devourer is to back as far away from the table as he can, squirming in disgust and crying out, "No" as fast as he can, I am not allowed to have just the biggest of grins on my face.
****When his next reaction is, "KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!!" I am not allowed to start laughing.
*****I am not allowed to use three intellect devourers.
******One of them is not allowed to get away off screen, scrabble along the ceiling and give the barbarian a heart attack.
*******That intellect devourer is not allowed to come back later, wait just outside of the party paladin's room, drop down on the NPC paladin when he comes to discuss things with his PC friend, and then have the predictable results occur.
********Not even if the PC paladin is able to win.
*********When my player's faces look as follows, I have done my job: ;-; and O_O

*I give the best birthday presents.

You are a scary, scary person. I approve. :smallcool:

[Gnomes2169]

You are a scary, scary person. I approve. :smallcool:

Why thank you, I do my best. :smallbiggrin:

[Anonymouswizard]

From tonight's game:

* If we are working for the church, we are expected to be moral.
** Especially when your character's goal is to take holy orders.
*** I may not point out that what I'm doing is not technically violating scripture.
**** I deserved to eat that demonic profiterole.
***** Taunting the police for being slower than you was funny though.

* When the gluttony demon enters a blender, I may no longer yell "In the name of the Trinity, I compel you to leave this innocent blender!"
** When God intervenes and throws the demon into hell in a shaft of brilliant sunlight indoors at night, in the middle of our exorcism, we cannot declare that it is now "Saint Brenda the Blender".
*** We are expected to leave the blender in the hotel, not steal it and take it with us.
**** The bishop will question as to why we are now carrying a blender with us.
***** We will get odd looks when we ask if we can get Saint Brenda blessed.

* The nun-in-training's relic does not contain the lips of Samuel L Jackson.
** It does not yell "the power of Christ compels you mother******" when used upon a demon.

In short, we now have a blessed blender, and the nun-in-training possesses a 1/day smite demon item. However, my character is now further from his goal of joining the priesthood.

[Rater202]

From tonight's game:

* If we are working for the church, we are expected to be moral.
** Especially when your character's goal is to take holy orders.
*** I may not point out that what I'm doing is not technically violating scripture.
**** I deserved to eat that demonic profiterole.
***** Taunting the police for being slower than you was funny though.

* When the gluttony demon enters a blender, I may no longer yell "In the name of the Trinity, I compel you to leave this innocent blender!"
** When God intervenes and throws the demon into hell in a shaft of brilliant sunlight indoors at night, in the middle of our exorcism, we cannot declare that it is now "Saint Brenda the Blender".
*** We are expected to leave the blender in the hotel, not steal it and take it with us.
**** The bishop will question as to why we are now carrying a blender with us.
***** We will get odd looks when we ask if we can get Saint Brenda blessed.

* The nun-in-training's relic does not contain the lips of Samuel L Jackson.
** It does not yell "the power of Christ compels you mother******" when used upon a demon.

In short, we now have a blessed blender, and the nun-in-training possesses a 1/day smite demon item. However, my character is now further from his goal of joining the priesthood.

That's the funniest thing I've read all day.:smallsmile:

*If we're playing a mostly freeform Megacrossover Game where each person has an Omnitrix or one of it's variants and can take any sentient alien creature in addition to the ones from the Ben 10 franchise, I may not have Saiyan or Kryptonian Forms as part of my original 10.
**If I take the species that Captain Gantu from Lilo and Stitch is based on, I may not call that form "Lardass"
***Jumba's experiments are off limits for Alien Forms
****I may rename forms that Ben himself has.
*****"Lycanthrope" is an acceptable rename for Blitzwolfer. "Loud Puppy" is not.
******My Alien Forms must be more than just Beating Sticks.
*******If I take The Worst as an alien form, I can not rename him "Lardass"
********If I take "Equestrian Ponies" as an "Alien" each tribe counts as a diferant form.
*********No Alicorns.
**********As Digimon do not have DNA, nor have they methods of passing on geneitic information, I may not take one as an Alien Form. I'm not even sure how That'd work.
***********Okay, point made with Upgrade.
************If one of my forms is Raremon, I may not name that form "Lardass"
*************Nobody is allowed to have Asari-Period.
**************Okay, if Dimension hoping is happening, fantasy magic universes are okay sources for "aliens".
***************If one of my forms is a troll, I may not name it lardass.
****************No D&D style dragons unless your character is 12 or younger.
*****************Taking a Timelord form will not give you your own TARDIS.
******************Ys, if your Omnitrix has the DNA Repair Funtion, it'll prevent your Timelord Form from having it's DNA Rewritten if you're formed to Regenerate.
*******************Changing back to human does not reset your timelord forms Regenrations.
********************Okay, I'll buy Ultimate Timelords having infinite Regeneration Energy and short temporal jounts.
*********************You need one more flaw to ad the Evolutionary Function to your Omnitrix.
**********************I may not name my Timelord Form "Lardass".
***********************That doesn't even make sense.
************************I may desine U;timate Forms or Aliens, Ben 10 0r otherwise, that do not have them, but Such is subject to GM approval.
*************************Ultimate Troll is not the Tarrasque.
**************************I can not take one of Ben's ultimate forms as a regular Alien. Not even the ones that became real people.
***************************Ultimate Elves are not somehow more Androgenous than normal elves as their only change.

I Ended up with Acidwash(Juvenile Black Dragon), Warthide(Troll), Timelord(Self Explanatory), Lycanthrope(Renamed blitzwolfer), Aero Ace(Equestrian Pegasus), Shifter(uryuom), Tubaguts(Renamed The Worst), Humongusour, Fixit(Renamed Jury Rigg), Spiker(Argit's species). Five Ben 10 species, four strait from the watch, and 5 species from other works.

I'll keep you updated on how it goes.

[Milodiah]

*I am not allowed to coordinate the positioning of friendly troops if doing so entails hurling them bodily towards the fray.
**Cannot conceal the nature of my build by referring to it in highly technical terms, such as "Kinetic Tactical Redeployment Officer".
***In military parlance, the unit having "organic" artillery support means that it has artillery subunits built into its Table of Organization & Equipment, not that I am supposed to use organics as the artillery.
****No longer allowed to play characters with a Strength above 12.
*****No longer allowed to play characters with enough magic, intellect, mechanical aptitude, or other skills that would allow me to pull the above off regardless.

[GuesssWho]

* Not allowed to kill someone for pants.
** Please don't ever set your loincloth on fire again.

* The middle of a battle is a bad time to pass out drunk.
** When you wake up, DO NOT KEEP DRINKING.

* Please don't try to punch Pelor.

* If Pelor grants you a wish, you can't wish to appear in the Abyss for ten rounds to fight an evil god.
** If you do so, you cannot try to rip its wing off at 240 feet in the air.
*** If it throws you off, never EVER sink a spiked chain into its privates and hang there for the rest of the fight.

* You absolutely can't do any of these thing at only 11th or 12th level.

All of this was one epically stupid half-orc barbarian/bard. We decided after the game that he got his own statue, which was promptly buried for being obscene. This sparked Krug's desire to search out this statue of himself to do battle with it. (He destroys any mirrors or lakes he meets along the way.)

[Astral Avenger]

All of this was one epically stupid half-orc barbarian/bard. We decided after the game that he got his own statue, which was promptly buried for being obscene. This sparked Krug's desire to search out this statue of himself to do battle with it. (He destroys any mirrors or lakes he meets along the way.)

How does a barbarian go about destroying lakes? (also, which system are you using for this?)

[Ksheep]

* When I come across a corrupted piece of technology which kills anyone who gets too close to it, the proper response is to destroy it
** Lobbing this technology at my enemies telekinetically is NOT the right way to approach this problem
*** Strapping them to zombies and having them march into the middle of the enemy camp isn't acceptable either
**** No, I cannot weaponize these items just to say that I did

[GuesssWho]

How does a barbarian go about destroying lakes? (also, which system are you using for this?)

5e, although I'm pretty sure the DM was both toning things down for us and rolling several ones. And I have no clue how, since the campaign has ended, but he's stupid, lucky and stubborn enough to manage it if anyone is.

[Gnomes2169]

You are a scary, scary person. I approve. :smallcool:

Oh, since I forgot above... Can I sig this?

*Do not make, under any circumstances, a character named Dr. Dragons! (The exclamation mark is part of the name)
**Especially not if we are fighting a dragon cult.
***I am not allowed to have a suitcase full of dragons.
****Especially not evil dragons.
*****I may not use said suitcase full of evil dragons to solve every problem under the sun.
******Especially not problems involving evil dragons, specifically those involving work retreats or bring your son/ daughter to work days.
*******How would that even help?!?!

*The answer to PC's being too powerful is not "more dragons."
**It is ESPECIALLY not "a single mind flayer".
***No, we will not have a repeat of last Thursday night.
****Beholders are right out.
*****I am not allowed to test out homebrew monsters without giving my players fair warning.
******"Bring a lot of healing potions" is not fair warning.

[illyahr]

Oh, since I forgot above... Can I sig this?

By all means. :smallsmile:


*The answer to PC's being too powerful is not "more dragons."
**It is ESPECIALLY not "a single mind flayer".
***No, we will not have a repeat of last Thursday night.
****Beholders are right out.
*****I am not allowed to test out homebrew monsters without giving my players fair warning.
******"Bring a lot of healing potions" is not fair warning.

How about Aboleths? :smallamused:

[Rater202]

*Just becuase I can turn into a timelord does not mean I'm mandated to bea timelord as often as posisble.
**The same applies to dragons
***I'm not to go "Ultimate" in every single fight.
****Seriously, normal Acidwash could have handled those mooks easily.

[Madfellow]

* I am now allowed to begin a sentence with, "Good news, everyone!"
** Especially not if I am a wizard.
*** Or a cleric.
**** Warlock is right out.

[Gnomes2169]

By all means. :smallsmile:



How about Aboleths? :smallamused:

*I may no longer use Aboleths to punish successful characters.
**In fact, abberations are right out. Bad Gnomes. Bad.

[DigoDragon]

* I may not start the campaign In Media Res at the sight of a major Airbus airplane crash.
** When the confused PCs ask how they ended up on an airplane, my response is not to roll damage.
*** Not allowed to organize the dead passengers by flavor and texture.
**** When exploring the creepy abandoned science lab on the island, I will not disable the fire alarm.
***** I will not take the airplane's black boxes with me into the Faraday cage.
****** Nor will I follow any escaped lab animal that was stored in a cage labeled 'N.I.M.H.'
******* Just because I saw it in a video game, I will not stick my hand in the toilet to search for items.
******** Starting a fire in the bathroom when the fire alarm is disabled is a really bad idea.
********* Running over the first islander we meet with his own Suburban will no longer be 'Plan A'
********** Plan A is still not justified if I first drive the Suburban out of the garage.

[Erth16]

*If no one reacts to the inclusion of Dragonslayer Ornstein in the list of enemies they need to beat consisting of Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass characters aside from him, I should probably take a break from GM'ing.
**Doubly so if they expected Artorias instead of Ornstein.
***Not to make the fight against the four knights of Gwyn, just to spite them.
****Aslan teamed up with the Cheshire cat is right out.
*No longer allowed to use illusions to fight hillbilly demons.

[Anonymouswizard]

* I can no longer be the face when we are buying a warehouse.
** Especially if I mention that we're in the PC business.
*** My pun licence has been confiscated.

* I may no longer play at being a private investigator, especially when we have one in the party.
** Especially when we're claiming to be investigating someone's place of work.
*** Your charm skill is what again?
**** Flubbing a charm roll should not give me a high enough result to convince him that we're newspaper reporters disguised as private investigators.

* I can no longer be scared of the rebellious hippy nun-in-training. Be frightened of stern full-fledged nun instead!

[Rater202]

When the party includes a has transformed into "Bruiser" forms, I'm not to assume my tiny "thinker" form just to be contrary.

[Invisifly2]

*Dropping a never-ending swarm of small vipers on the party until they roll NAT 1's on the saves is perfectly okay.
**Doing this in a Dead Magic Zone, where they cannot simply fireball the swarm or teleport away, however, is not.

[TeChameleon]

* I may no longer attempt to ride the inexplicable hovering ancient Dwarven heavy laser cannon by using its kickback as propulsion (well, the hovering is easy enough to explain- a wizard did it. The existence of the laser cannon, though, is a bit harder to get past. As is the fact that the laser has recoil :smallconfused:)
** I may no longer attempt to use the inexplicable hovering ancient Dwarven heavy laser cannon as a lockpick.
*** If I am informed that the door is made of adamantite, so I can't break it, the proper response is not to try to steal the door.

* I may no longer realize that a single, largely-grabbed-at-random-for-no-reason magic item has crippled the DM's planned boss fight so badly that it ends up completely trapped and being plinked to death with magic missile over the course of ten minutes or so. Especially not when my character is unconscious at the time.

* I may no longer derail the dungeon's climactic giant boss fight by force-feeding it a hundred pounds of magic plastique mid-fight.
** If I insist on kasploding the climactic giant boss fight, I should take note of the fact that this is an elder gold dragon of Bahamut, tainted by the Far Realms and completely insane, who has been performing a demented version of Bahamut-worship in a region of both planar and temporal rifts, on top of an ancient altar of Orcus. Large explosions here are not a good idea.
*** I may no longer blind-roll a natural twenty on my arcana check to prevent the rest of the world going boom when the dragon does. The DM was a bit put out that he didn't get to do anything weird to us.
**** When the previous is pointed out, I may no longer say that I had actually been considering throwing the Eye of Vecna (well, an aspect of it, at least) into the Far Realms portal in the middle of all the other weirdness, just to see what would happen.

[Socksy]

* I'm not allowed to boost my characters' abilities during char gen using dodgy calculus.
** I'm not allowed to boost my characters' abilities at all using dodgy calculus.
*** That is not what "integrates well into society" means!

I just had a conversation with my GM along the lines of "If X is the number of power points my character has left over, and she integrates well due to high Bluff/Diplomacy... Does that mean she has (X^2)/2 + C power points?"
It got noped.
):

[goto124]

** I may no longer attempt to use the inexplicable hovering ancient Dwarven heavy laser cannon as a lockpick.
*** If I am informed that the door is made of adamantite, so I can't break it, the proper response is not to try to steal the door.

At this point, the walls are probably weaker than the door...

[Wookieetank]

At this point, the walls are probably weaker than the door...

*Not allowed to melt the walls to steal the door.
**If the entire dungeon ends up made out of adamantine to prevent me from stealing the door, not allowed to make it the party's new base of operations.

[PrincessCupcake]

If "make an omelet out of stolen dragon eggs" is the sanest plan the DM has heard all day, something has gone horribly wrong.

*if the choices before us are "go to the tavern and start a barfight" or "unleash black dragon hatchlings", we are forbidden from choosing anything other than "go to bed like normal human beings".

***if the party has just done something ten times worse than the tiamat-worshiping cult they got paid to bust up, and the DM is trying to introduce a Lawful Good Character right as this happens, something has gone hilariously right.

(This is not a hypothetical. This was last week's session of Tyranny of Dragons.)

[DigoDragon]

* Shag carpeting is no longer considered deep enough for a shark encounter.
** Not allowed to assume that dead scientists in an experimental lab are non-combatants.
*** No longer allowed to threaten the USMC with a weapon recovered from a box of Cheerios.
**** No longer allowed to fire any weapon recovered from a box of Cheerios.
***** While it is okay to swipe a radio off a Marine to eavesdrop on military channels, I am no longer allowed to skip the part about unclipping the radio first from the Marine's pants.

[Anonymouswizard]

* Shag carpeting is no longer considered deep enough for a shark encounter.
** Not allowed to assume that dead scientists in an experimental lab are non-combatants.
*** No longer allowed to threaten the USMC with a weapon recovered from a box of Cheerios.
**** No longer allowed to fire any weapon recovered from a box of Cheerios.
***** While it is okay to swipe a radio off a Marine to eavesdrop on military channels, I am no longer allowed to skip the part about unclipping the radio first from the Marine's pants.

****** May not start an argument on what pants are.
******* Or one about whether I am now carrying just the radio, that radio and the Marine's trousers, or the entire Marine.
******** I may no longer steal military personal.

[dramatic flare]

* Shag carpeting is no longer considered deep enough for a shark encounter.

** May not use a modified "growth'' spell to make deep enough.

[DigoDragon]

* I may no longer steal military personal.

I'm proud of my former group for actually accomplishing this. Mostly because they didn't expect they would catch one, they didn't plan on what to do when they caught one, and they didn't think it would get the attention of the rest of the Marines. :smalltongue:

[unseenmage]

* No longer allowed to shape a Shapesand (Sa) cage around the Gelatinous Cube as it tries to chase us.
** It doesn't matter that the Cube is the one who insisted on grabbing my Shapesand chain and not letting go.
*** That Shapesand is shaped in 10 minute increments does not make this less ridiculous.

**** Why do I even have that much Shapesand formed into a chain on my character's person at all times anyway?

[TheTeaMustFlow]

*Yes Minister is not appropriate source material for Dresden Files. Therefore, though I may start as the Cabinet Secretary, this does not mean I actually rule Britain, and I am not to take that as a challenge.
** On second thoughts, I may not start as the Cabinet Secretary.
*** No matter how high my resources check, I control neither NATO, the EU, nor the Milk Marketing Board.
**** I will not introduce myself via bombardment from high orbit, unless I am playing Rogue Trader.
***** Nor will I nuke the Wild Hunt just to prove a point.
****** Nuking Maeve, however, is both acceptable and encouraged.

[razorfloss]

*Yes Minister is not appropriate source material for Dresden Files. Therefore, though I may start as the Cabinet Secretary, this does not mean I actually rule Britain, and I am not to take that as a challenge.
** On second thoughts, I may not start as the Cabinet Secretary.
*** No matter how high my resources check, I control neither NATO, the EU, nor the Milk Marketing Board.
**** I will not introduce myself via bombardment from high orbit, unless I am playing Rogue Trader.
***** Nor will I nuke the Wild Hunt just to prove a point.
****** Nuking Maeve, however, is both acceptable and encouraged.

so why did you nuke the wildhut and what their response

[Rater202]

*I may not attempt to join the Justice League just to get Superman's DNA.
**Seriously, they have an age limit.
***And only accept permanent residents of the DC Universe.
****No, adding Green Martian and Atlantian to my "DNA gather list does not count as finding a better reason to join.

[Ksheep]

* I may not use Mage Hand to pick up and fire a ranged weapon
** Especially if the weapon's kickback delivers more than 5 pounds of force
*** Doubly so if the weapon is fully automatic
**** I should not be surprised when the machine gun starts spray wildly in all directions after dropping out of my control

[DigoDragon]

** Especially if the weapon's kickback delivers more than 5 pounds of force

*** Banned from Googling the recoil force of available weapons to find whatever comes closest to 4.99 pounds of force.

[Excession]

**** I should not be surprised when the gun starts spray wildly in all directions after dropping out of my control
***** May not use this as a grenade substitute when actual grenades are banned.

[Ferreon]

***** May not use this as a grenade substitute when actual grenades are banned.

****** Even if I can state with total accuracy, including references to specific battles, that this has in fact been done in real life.

[DigoDragon]

****** Even if I can state with total accuracy, including references to specific battles, that this has in fact been done in real life.

Well that's scarier than the scene in True Lies. :smalltongue:

[Wookieetank]

*When tempted to restart multi-thread running gags, must take a 20 on my will check.

[Milodiah]

****** Even if I can state with total accuracy, including references to specific battles, that this has in fact been done in real life.

*******Not allowed anywhere near lower-quality Sten sub-machine guns. Ever.

[TheTeaMustFlow]

so why did you nuke the wildhut and what their response

I went for the Ripley solution to announce to the supernatural world (having got 15 on a resources check where 8 is listed as high enough to buy out a major corporation, and thus making the Cabinet Secretary the de facto ruler of not only the UK, but pretty much the entire first world) that mortal governments were about to get involved, and that they would break my laws at their extreme peril. Our group was currently dealing with the problem of the Wild Hunt being about to get their hunt on in Vegas - but they would be exiting the Nevernever in a desolate area of the Mojave, ripe for nuking.

I don't know what happened next, because (after the party stopped laughing) the Gatekeeper erased the Cabinet Secretary from the timestream, and I made a new character with no points in resources.

[aspekt]

*I may only make a Rakshasa bard again if I promise not to sing 'Eye of the Tiger' every time the party enters combat.

[IZ42]

*I may only make a Rakshasa bard again if I promise not to sing 'Eye of the Tiger' every time the party enters combat.

The sad thing here is I can(slightly) relate. I recently made a Beastbrood Gunslinger(Mysterious Stranger)//Bard with ranks in Perform(Comedy, specifically puns and wordplay). Its great.

[aspekt]

The sad thing here is I can(slightly) relate. I recently made a Beastbrood Gunslinger(Mysterious Stranger)//Bard with ranks in Perform(Comedy, specifically puns and wordplay). Its great.

Ha! That sounds great.

Revenge would be in the monster campaign making a troll bard and using the Trolololol song.

[GPuzzle]

*If the game slowly descends into becoming FLCL, I tell the GM that he should drop the GM facade, otherwise the audience will think he's genuinely a GM.

[Hyena]

* My noble prince character, seeking to take his throne back from the usurper, is called Prince Donald the Just. He is not, in fact, "Don the Crown".

If you understood the reference, I've got bad news for you. Also, this strip became inspiration for my new campaign's plot.

[razorfloss]

from warhammer
i may no longer play a psyker
i may not roll my own dice when playing a psyker
i am not to be surprised that when i mention i want to play a psyker everybody at the table shakes in fear
i am banned form ever mentioning the word psyker ever again

[Rater202]

*When arriving at the center of the Imperial City with Intent to declare war on the realm, may not do so by activating both Devil Tyrant Shintei and Demon Emperor Shintai while the Solar, Lunar, and Abyssal Flare their Animas to totemic levels and the Sid and Dragonblooded flare their Animas to the equivalent levels
**May not then use a costume upgrade to the infernal demon summoning Charm to summon 8 Third Circle Demons and 56 Second Circle Demons directly into the city before the Immaculates can get there.

[GPuzzle]

*If the BBEG claims it will "stop every major service", I may not start saying: "ZA WARUDO! TOKI WA TOMARE! WRYYYYYYYYYY!" to prove my point that he won't.

[Need_A_Life]

Hopefully a premonition for tomorrow.

x+1) I may no longer use supernatural powers to solve my mundane problems. There is, in fact, such a thing as over-kill.
X+2) I may no longer use supernatural powers to complicate my mundane problems.
X+3) I may no longer end up in a PC v. PC battle on a rooftop during a thunderstorm.
X+4) I may no longer have a higher PC bodycount than the BBEG.
X+5) I may no longer make the BBEG seem quite reasonable in comparison to myself.
X+6) I may no longer inspire the GM to use former PCs for the next campaign's BBEG.
X+7) ... even if he has to tone them down, because he can't do my brand of "petty, over-kill evil."


And some from an old FR campaign.
X+8) The paladin cannot be wilfully ignorant and oblivious to his obviously evil team members.
X+9) The paladin cannot buy "hey, he wasn't using it!" as a justification for zombifying someone's corpse.
X+10) My necromancer cleric cannot keep putting people ill at ease by promising that he'll "bring back" whoever falls in combat without specifying what spell he's going to use.
X+11) The necromancer can, however, try to bull**** anyone who doesn't have Spellcraft as to whether they can understand his magi-babble to recognize the spell he's describing.
X+12) When saying "well, it'll bring you back, almost as good as new," I should elaborate on whether I'm talking Raise Dead or Create Undead.
X+13) When playing a necromancer cleric, should not insist on asking party members whether they try to resist the spell I'm casting on them (hey, cure spells offer a save to anyone who tries to resist) just to set up that one time where they don't try to resist Slay Living.
X+14) When the fighter dies, cannot use Speak With Dead just to convince him to let me reanimate him as a ghoul instead of raising him, because "otherwise it'll have to wait until tomorrow and I've got a court date then, so..."
X+15) Should not research "Contingent Create Greater Undead Self."
X+16) If the reason I kill other necromancers is mostly over "artistic differences" the paladin really should say something.

[goto124]

X+4) I may no longer have a higher PC bodycount than the BBEG.

X+? May not get 10+ PCs killed in a single campaign

And I'm seriously curious what sort of game you're playing that allows THAT much PC killing.

[DigoDragon]

And I'm seriously curious what sort of game you're playing that allows THAT much PC killing.

Paranoia is the only one I'm familiar with.

[GPuzzle]

Paranoia is the only one I'm familiar with.

Paranoia: you can get killed by doors made of cheese!

[goto124]

Paranoia: you can get killed by doors made of cheese!

* I may no longer have players fight killer cheese zombie doors.

[dramatic flare]

Paranoia: you can get killed by doors made of cheese!

**Paranoia: DOA is the standard method of arriving to the briefing room, but not the crematorium.

[Milodiah]

**Paranoia: DOA is the standard method of arriving to the briefing room, but not the crematorium.

Paranoia: Where your weapon's blast radius is very likely to be wider than its maximum range.

[Ksheep]

* I may not call my half-human, half-horse cleric the Centaur for Disease Control

[Hyena]

* I'm playing a blaster caster.
** It means "sorcerer".
*** It does not mean "Han Solo".
**** May not refer to winning initiative as "shooting first".

[Anonymouswizard]

* I may not replace the gaming snacks with Brussel Sprouts.

[DigoDragon]

* I may not call my half-human, half-horse cleric the Centaur for Disease Control

Bravo. *applauds* :smallbiggrin:

[Ksheep]

Bravo. *applauds* :smallbiggrin:

Unfortunately, I cannot take credit for that. I merely saw it on the "Out of Context D&D Quotes" Tumblr and decided to share.

[Need_A_Life]

X+? May not get 10+ PCs killed in a single campaign

And I'm seriously curious what sort of game you're playing that allows THAT much PC killing.
I never limit PC v. PC violence; such fights immediately get everyone invested in the outcome.

Hell, more than one campaign has ended up with the party splitting into two or three factions over some issue and, when diplomacy fails, violence ensues.
It's only a bad thing if people don't have a good time throughout.

[blacklight101]

*May no longer attack the PC's ship with waves of Ork Roks, especially when they think they're going through an asteroid belt.
**May not have Silent Running Ork Ramships hiding behind the Roks, waiting to charge into the fray.
***May no longer ambush the PC's with 3 Ork Kroozers, even if they're pretty far off
****No longer allowed to show them all the former ships were launched from a space hulk, it will make them cry
*****No more Orky spaceships for me, I was bad.

[GPuzzle]

*No more drawing animals breeding on checks.
**No, it's not a "checkmate".

[Erth16]

*No longer allowed to skin holiday mascots alive.
** Not allowed to then ask how much their pelt will go for.
***This goes double for other PC's.

*No I cannot two hand my fist.

*Not allowed to make my character the semi identical twin of another pc, the only difference being that I have blonde hair.
**Not to then mimic their every action in the game.
***Except if they commit suicide, then I should because it means I will have to make a new character.

*Not allowed to leave my room in character.
*A group of young women playing the carrilon, didgeridoo, bagpipes, train whistle, and a howling dog does not a rock band make.
**Not allowed to simulate their concert by using youtube videos all playing at the same time.

*If the GM introduces himself into the game in a meta scene saying he created the setting, not allowed to introduce myself in a meta sense to the scene to say "This isn't your story. This is our story."
**Even If I did create the setting two years ago.

*Not to use spirit manipulation to mind control people by mangling their souls in my hands like they were putty.
**Especially when they are on the other side of the planet from my room.

[Rater202]

*When one of my friends has been kidnapped by a spirit of Chaos and Disharmony that's trapped in a board game, may not threaten said Spirit by threatening to contact the Immortal God Princesses that rule the country we live in.
**When one of the other players mentions OOC that his character will be a perverted artist when older, I may not joking say, in character as a similarly aged up PC, that if she spies on my PC while his boyfriend is sleeping over again he'll stuff her in a net and leave her there.
***When the other player doesn't seem to get what I was implying, I definitely should feel dirty.

[Sith_Happens]

(This one's a callback, by which I mean I don't remember if I already posted part of it five threads ago:)

* I may not use Iron Heart Surge to win a drinking contest.
* I may not use Iron Heart Surge as "male enhancement."
* I may not use Iron Heart Surge to "last longer."
* I may not use Iron Heart Surge to remove the condition of "being the father."
* I no longer know Iron Heart Surge.

[Ksheep]

* A bottle of wine is perfectly acceptable loot
** When the party asks what type it is, they want to know more than "It's a brand called 'Even'"
*** If/when they pour themselves a glass, I am not allowed to say that they decant Even

[Dromuthra]

*I may no longer ask for custom spell approval for Shadowrun.
**I especially may not combine spell qualities between different spell types.
***Not even if I argue that I want to make a massive illusion spell.
****I must from now on inform the GM if I think the custom penalty for said spell is to low.
*****I am no longer allowed to cast Orgasmalanche.
******My face is no longer allowed to cast spells.

*I am not allowed to play a face.

[goto124]

*No I cannot two hand my fist.

*Not allowed to play a race with 3 or more arms, just to cut off one arm and two-hand it.

(It would be great if someone could make an image of this please?)

[Sith_Happens]

*Not allowed to play a race with 3 or more arms, just to cut off one arm and two-hand it.

(It would be great if someone could make an image of this please?)

** Using two arms to swing the third without cutting it off first is right out.

[Ksheep]

** Using two arms to swing the third without cutting it off first is right out.

*** I may not cut off the hands of a monk and use them as improvised weapons for 2d8 damage.

[Afool]

*** I may not cut off the hands of a monk and use them as improvised weapons for 2d8 damage.

****Enchanting them and making them a major artifact is RIGHT out.

[DigoDragon]

***** Enchanting it to explode after the fingers count down does not make it a Hand Grenade.

[GPuzzle]

****** No, my character is not "lending a hand" when he beats them with the dismembered explosive hand.
******* If I do that with Lenin's arm, he's not "Lenin a hand" either.

[Erth16]

****** Claiming to really hand it too the enemy is right out.

[Need_A_Life]

X+1) May not sell my soul for the answers to the upcoming Chemistry exam.
X+2) If Satan is a good moral influence on my character, I don't get to try and take the moral high-ground.
X+3) I should not attempt to sell other people's souls to Satan without their permission.
X+4) If I try to anyway, I deserve whatever grief they give me for trying.

[ImNotTrevor]

****** Claiming to really hand it too the enemy is right out.

*******Being hired to acquire such a hand is not a "hand job" and never will be.
********I am not allowed to say "This thing is really handy" after every single kill I get with it.

[blacklight101]

*********And when I congratulate another party member with said hand, I am not allowed to say "Gotta hand it to you" or any variation therein.

[dramatic flare]

xth* If I take on a foe by myself with the hand an win, not allowed to say I beat them singlehandedly single-handed.

[spineyrequiem]

* If the dress code mandates suits, not allowed to wear a suit of armour
** Nor a swimsuit
*** My birthday suit is right out.
**** No making my suit out of cloth that only intelligent people can see.

* May not base my character off Kanye West.

* No more trying to turn D & D into a drinking game

* May not invest all my starting gold into the stock market

* My character's background may not include the phrase 'jenkem dealer'

* No, an artillery piece is not used in chess. Usually.

* If I was inspired to try something by the Discworld novels, I probably can't do it.

[ImNotTrevor]

xth* If I take on a foe by myself with the hand an win, not allowed to say I beat them singlehandedly single-handed.

yth* If I take out a foe while the hand is in my backpack, I am not allowed to say that I beat them with one hand behind my back.

[Drakeburn]

* In a game of Mutants and Masterminds 3e, I'm banning time travel.

** No, freezing time is not allowed either.

*** Time machines are straight out

**** You cannot travel back in time to bypass these rules. That doesn't make ANY sense whatsoever.

[DigoDragon]

* When at Denny's at 2am, my friends and I are no longer allowed to order food based on what would make useful game pieces for a D&D combat mat.
** Using the crayons that come with the kid's menu to make a D&D combat map is henceforth banned.
*** If my friends and I are at Denny's at 2am gaming, we're probably high on something.

[Rater202]

*Weird Al Man is not an acceptable Superhero concept, even if the implications are terrifying.
**When told by the GM that we can use Pre-existing haracters shifted into an other world as characters, I may not play the Box Ghost (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CUqeC2UU4oE)
***Not allowed to make joke characters more fritening than serious characters
****Not allowed to play gag super heroes.
*****Cannibalism Man is banned as a hero.
******Can't get around that ban by playing Cannibalism Woman instead.
*******Not allowed to come up with increasingly more disturbing concepts until the GM agrees to let me play one of my joke characters.

[ImNotTrevor]

* When at Denny's at 2am, my friends and I are no longer allowed to order food based on what would make useful game pieces for a D&D combat mat.
** Using the crayons that come with the kid's menu to make a D&D combat map is henceforth banned.
*** If my friends and I are at Denny's at 2am gaming, we're probably high on something.

****I am not allowed to tell this story to the Playground without mentioning what we were high on and how one can get ahold of it for their next party

[Anonymouswizard]

*If I've only ever failed a social roll because hell itself intervened I should probably stop minmaxing.
**If my lie skill is high enough that I can convincingly pretend to be someone I've known for a week while interacting with their friends online, the GM will get annoyed.
***I cannot use social skills to bypass every single puzzle.
****After bypassing sneaking into the evil cult by asking nicely, I cannot simplify the combat by making the main demon restrain it's friends.
*****If me and the Nun can bypass any demonic combat by compelling and expelling the demons in unison, the GM will cry.

[Afool]

*May no longer go on long rambling- rambles about the potential uses of lightning besides blowing stuff up

[DigoDragon]

* When the cook has been decapitated, that is not the signal for my character to have a snack run in the kitchen.
** I will no longer listen to the drugged out NPC on where would be the safest place to go and hide from an assassin inspired by Bane.
*** Also banned from listening to the sober NPC that the panic room is perfectly safe against an assassin that was inspired by Bane.
**** Using explosives within a close-quarters panic room is henceforth forbidden.
***** The team doctor is not allowed to have a 100% hit accuracy. Especially with head-shots.
****** After barely surviving 'Bane the Assassin', having an inter-party fight the resulted in an NPC stabbed and a PC shot, and being covered in brain matter from some victims of the assassin, now is not a good time to start hitting on the cute female NPC.

[Adrastos42]

*May no longer attack the PC's ship with waves of Ork Roks, especially when they think they're going through an asteroid belt.
**May not have Silent Running Ork Ramships hiding behind the Roks, waiting to charge into the fray.
***May no longer ambush the PC's with 3 Ork Kroozers, even if they're pretty far off
****No longer allowed to show them all the former ships were launched from a space hulk, it will make them cry
*****No more Orky spaceships for me, I was bad.
******Really, really may not do this if before this the players thought this was a Star Wars: Saga Edition game.

[ImNotTrevor]

******Really, really may not do this if before this the players thought this was a Star Wars: Saga Edition game.

*******I am absolutely never to do this if the players think this is a d&d 3.5 game.

[Rater202]

*******I am absolutely never to do this if the players think this is a d&d 3.5 game.

********I'll get shot from orbit if I do this in Ponies & Parasprites

[Milodiah]

*Not allowed to preserve the "surprise" of Call of Cthulhu by falsely convincing them we're just using the system/character sheets and not the Mythos part.
**Cannot dramatically reveal that we ARE playing Call of Cthulhu by having the players simultaneously remove the tape concealing the Cthulhu Mythos skill.
***No longer allowed to twirl my mustache and deliver an evil laugh while doing so.
****Especially since my mustache isn't actually thick enough to properly twirl.
*****Cannot wear a false mustache all session for the express purpose of twirling it during the reveal.
******Not allowed to lull them into a false sense of security by playing a generic fantasy/scifi/western/etc RPG, then suddenly spring the Mythos on them.
*******Should not be surprised if my players no longer believe we're playing anything BUT Call of Cthulhu.

[Anonymouswizard]

*Not allowed to preserve the "surprise" of Call of Cthulhu by falsely convincing them we're just using the system/character sheets and not the Mythos part.
**Cannot dramatically reveal that we ARE playing Call of Cthulhu by having the players simultaneously remove the tape concealing the Cthulhu Mythos skill.
***No longer allowed to twirl my mustache and deliver an evil laugh while doing so.
****Especially since my mustache isn't actually thick enough to properly twirl.
*****Cannot wear a false mustache all session for the express purpose of twirling it during the reveal.
******Not allowed to lull them into a false sense of security by playing a generic fantasy/scifi/western/etc RPG, then suddenly spring the Mythos on them.
*******Should not be surprised if my players no longer believe we're playing anything BUT Call of Cthulhu.

********Cannot, at this point, pull outExalted and play it straight.
*********Cthulhu cannot beat a circle of solars.

[Adrastos42]

********I'll get shot from orbit if I do this in Ponies & Parasprites

*********Incidentally, I may not have my Deathwatch RPG start with the players all meeting in a tavern.
**********Ok, unless they all picked Space Wolves.

[Rater202]

*In a Freeform mega crossover campaign, when one of the PCs somehow manages to become a Night Guard at Freddy Fazebear's Pizza, he is not allowed to reprogram the bots to sing the Power Rangers theme song.
**Nor can he let in one of the Other PCs to do it for him.
***Five PCs can not comfortably fit in that one room.
****Not even if half of them use their Omnitrices to turn into smaller forms.
*****Letting Jury Rig near haunted animatronics is a very bad Idea.
******Great, now they've been combined into a haunted miniature Voltron, happy know?
*******This does not look like a job for Superman!
********Not allowed to call my Kryptonian form Superman.
*********Not allowed to ask the GM what any of this has to do with collecting the DNA of sentient Species.
**********May not throw the book at the GM when the animatrons turn out to be clockwork droids haunted by specters born from the fear and rage of the children murdered to provide their organics.
***********We are to wait until after we destroy the haunted clockwork droid voltron and then safely exited the building before we torch the place.

I swear to God, I'm not making that up.

[Hyena]

* If my bard ever faces off another bard in combat, not allowed to do a rap battle.

[Hiro Protagonest]

* If my bard ever faces off another bard in combat, not allowed to do a rap battle.

**Or a yo momma joke battle
***Depending on the game, a rock battle may or may not be allowed

[Doorhandle]

*Not allowed to preserve the "surprise" of Call of Cthulhu by falsely convincing them we're just using the system/character sheets and not the Mythos part.
**Cannot dramatically reveal that we ARE playing Call of Cthulhu by having the players simultaneously remove the tape concealing the Cthulhu Mythos skill.
***No longer allowed to twirl my mustache and deliver an evil laugh while doing so.
****Especially since my mustache isn't actually thick enough to properly twirl.
*****Cannot wear a false mustache all session for the express purpose of twirling it during the reveal.
******Not allowed to lull them into a false sense of security by playing a generic fantasy/scifi/western/etc RPG, then suddenly spring the Mythos on them.
*******Should not be surprised if my players no longer believe we're playing anything BUT Call of Cthulhu.

*x infinity: not to run a Call of c'thuhu game without a single mythos monster, in order to crush my players under the weight of their paranoia.

[Rater202]

*I am to remember that there are better solutions to most of my problems then "turn into a dragon".
**Those other solutions are not "turn into a hyper evolved dragon bred for War"
***The fact that I have 22 other forms is somehow relevant to this discussion.

[braveheart]

**Or a yo momma joke battle
***Depending on the game, a rock battle may or may not be allowed

***when in a yo momma joke battle with a troll telling an awesome joke then saying that he just got burned does in fact negate his damage reduction

[DigoDragon]

No longer allowed to shake the captain's hand before wiping the blood off mine.

[GorinichSerpant]

* In a game of Mutants and Masterminds 3e, I'm banning time travel.

** No, freezing time is not allowed either.

*** Time machines are straight out

**** You cannot travel back in time to bypass these rules. That doesn't make ANY sense whatsoever.

*****Powers that allow your character to hop into our dimension where they can time travel back to prevent this ban is banned.

******I'm not sure, but evidence points to time-travel being banned in this world as well.

*******Dimension travel as well for that manner.

********If this were to succeed, then we'd be having bigger problems right now.

[Kato]

*I may not demand from my players to play Cthulhu in the dark to create more atmosphere. (Except a small flash light to see their dice)
** No, it's not a valid excuse that their characters are also in complete darkness in the catacombs of Paris.
*** No, using scary sound effects and turning the light completely off when I feel like it isn't okay either.

[Oneris]

*My professor's battle cry cannot be "Tenure!"

[Anonymouswizard]

* I may no longer play gay characters just for immunity against Beautiful women.
** A vow of chastity does not give me immunity against beautiful women.
*** Beautiful woman is not the same word as succubus.

[Wookieetank]

*May not play a grumpy old Druid with the battlecry of, "Get off my lawn!"
*Grumbling about kids these days is a bit of a stretch when you're one of them.

[cesius]

* Present the plan to kill all elves named Balthar as a good thing because, "They're Sarah Conner and it's like Terminator!"

[Justin Sane]

So, I ran the intro story for Promethean: the Created. Things got weird.

My players:
*"Pornstar" isn't a good concept for a PtC character, even if using Autonomic Control (which does exactly what it says on the tin) does allow you to ejaculate on command.
**May not use Autonomic Control to orgasm in order to lubricate the restraints in which you are held.
***May not clarify you weren't trying to get sweaty, but to aim where your ejaculation landed.
****If your course of action makes the ST call for a 5-minute break to procure some brain-bleach, you should reconsider your action.

Myself:
*May not have the sadistic Ulgan be possessed by a pain-spirit.
**May not be surprised when said Ulgan thinks said possession to be highly beneficial.
**May not have said possessed Ulgan manifest needle-like claws (ala Lust, from Fullmetal Alchemist).
***May not have the pain-spirit command him to insert said claws on the back of the head of one of the villains.
****May not rule said claws go in the back of the head and come out through his eye, while leaving him alive.
*****I am to be held responsible if some players have nightmares about said scene.
*I may not present the BBEG in a way that makes half the party want to join him.

[Bucky]

*I may not boast at the start of a campaign that my character has crit every attack he's ever made.
**Not even if it's trivially true because I've never used the character before.
***I may not make a similar boast at the start of the third session.
****It'd be a much more impressive claim if my character ever actually attempted to hit things. So shut up.

[Cazero]

*I may not boast at the start of a campaign that my character has crit every attack he's ever made.
**Not even if it's trivially true because I've never used the character before.
***I may not make a similar boast at the start of the third session.
****It'd be a much more impressive claim if my character ever actually attempted to hit things. So shut up.
*****Still not allowed to boast if my 100% crit rate is based on exactly one attack in a lifetime.

[DigoDragon]

* I am no longer allowed to talk smack to the murder-death-bots attacking my team.
** Specifically banned from talking smack in Spanish to the murder-death-bots.
*** Not allowed to confuse the GM as to why a zebra is cursing out robots in Spanish.

[Rater202]

*After burning down the haunted pizzeria we were hired to guard, and the owners call the cops on us after we destroyed the evidence that it was haunted, I'm not to convince the cops to leave by turning into a Green Martian and threatening them with "The Probe".
**I'm not allowed to turn into Fixit(Jury Rig) for the sake of building guns in the basement.
***The fact that I'm in two completely unrelated games playing as a preteen that builds functional firearms in his basement says an awful lot about me, doesn't it?

[Silus]

*As DM, I am not allowed to use the Amalgam template for Pathfinder under any circumstances.
**I may also no longer listen to "No Strings on Me" from the Age of Ultron trailer when looking at templates.
***Amagamizing an Annihilator Robot and an Adult Red Dragon and putting an evil AI at the helm will get books thrown at me.
****No, giving it paraphrased Ultron dialogue doesn't help, it'll only just cause more stuff to be thrown at me.
*****Doing it in a voice that's a combination of Ultron and Smaug doesn't help either.

[Rater202]

*May not play a Lunar just so I can turn into a T-Rex

[ChaosArchon]

*May not play a Lunar just so I can turn into a T-Rex
**nor is it ok to play a Lunar just to turn into a ladybug, fly into people's stomachs, then turn into a furnace rhino. that's just rude
***neither is it a good idea to eat a mouse of the sun so you can play pranks on Solars. the UCS is very fond of those mice and will smite you

[goto124]

***neither is it a good idea to eat a mouse of the sun so you can play pranks on Solars. the UCS is very fond of those mice and will smite you

**** May not start a Holy Trinity of the Mice.
***** Not, not even if it has computer mice as members.
****** What the heavens are holy computers anyway?

[Wookieetank]

****** What the heavens are holy computers anyway?

Ones with holes in them obviously. :smallwink::smallamused:

[GPuzzle]

*If the game becomes Shin Megami Tensei x Fire Emblem before that game is out yet, let's just play Smash 4, taking a shot for every swear we say.
**It can't become Neon Genesis Evangelion x Fire Emblem x Doctor Who x Looper x Saving Private Ryan either.
***How did we started with a dungeon crawl and ended up in Stalingrad anyway?

[Godie1803]

*I may no longer name my bard Johnny B. Goode
**Specially if the "B" stands for Bonham
***Specially if it look like Robert Plant

[DigoDragon]

*How did we started with a dungeon crawl and ended up in Stalingrad anyway?

Maybe the party was too much in a hurry for a 'crawl'. After all, isn't everyone rushin' in Stalingrad? :smallbiggrin:

[Kato]

* I will not conspire with the DM to use my position as captain of the city guard to create my own secret police.
** I will not use my secret police to constantly keep tabs on my party.
*** I will not use that information to plan a coup to make me the sole ruler and kill my party off.
**** I will especially not do these things under the guise of an LG character who only seeks to keep the city safe (even if it means making a pact with a cat demon)

[GPuzzle]

Maybe the party was too much in a hurry for a 'crawl'. After all, isn't everyone rushin' in Stalingrad? :smallbiggrin:

Heavens, that pun was bad.

[IZ42]

Heavens, that pun was bad.

Agreed, I wouldn't touch that pun with a ten foot pole.

[DigoDragon]

Heavens, that pun was bad.

Agreed, I wouldn't touch that pun with a ten foot pole.

* No longer allowed to feed off the pain and suffering of players inflicted with my punnery.

[GPuzzle]

* No longer allowed to feed off the pain and suffering of players inflicted with my punnery.

The worst part is that the pun was not even fully correct: they were in the battle of Stalingrad, so there were plenty of Germans too.

[goto124]

* No longer allowed to feed off the pain and suffering of players inflicted with my punnery.

** Not allowed to take Punnery as a feat.

[Anonymouswizard]

** Not allowed to take Punnery as a feat.

*** Not allowed to start a pun battle with the GM's wife.

[Rater202]

*** Not allowed to start a pun battle with the GM's wife.

****Totally allowed to do that.

[goto124]

***** Not allowed to have a Bard Battle of Puns.
****** Why are we back to the bard fight?

[DigoDragon]

The worst part is that the pun was not even fully correct: they were in the battle of Stalingrad, so there were plenty of Germans too.

* Not allowed to correct the pun with another far worse pun. :3



*** Not allowed to start a pun battle with the GM's wife.

* Being the GM still doesn't make it legit to do.

[Rater202]

*May not spend the better part of the day arguing that using Sorcerer for combat should be about as viable as using native combat charms, Evocations, or Supernatural Martial Arts.
**All it does is get me misrepresented and insulted.

[ChaosArchon]

*May not spend the better part of the day arguing that using Sorcerer for combat should be about as viable as using native combat charms, Evocations, or Supernatural Martial Arts.
**All it does is get me misrepresented and insulted.
***even if it really should be
****especially then

[Suichimo]

*I am not allowed to tell the GM what level of pink mohawk we will be playing at
**Even if I am correct and currently thinking up numerous neon pink things to do
***Anyone know how to make a one shot jet engine based off of the flamethrower spell?
****I am not to be surprised when this gets my party killed

[Smorgonoffz]

* I'm no longer allowed as a DM to use the mimic as a monster
**More so if said mimic was transformed into A W.C
***also no mre mimic transformed into a box so he could eat the party's gold

[janusmaxwell]

*When 2 high-charisma PC's abandon a 3rd to his fate when he's been acting as a heal-bot to a sick-house in a slum disctrict to a lich, I am not allowed to have a 2nd female lich cast time stop on the 2 cowardly PC's and then have her tongue extend 2 feet down their throats for the most deep and disturbing french-kiss imaginable, and described in disgusting detail.
**I'm not allowed to include the tongue gestures in the description
***I'm not allowed to force a will save and when one of the PC's fails, say that he liked the kiss
****This goes doubly if he's a Binder bound to Malphas.


I was the heal-bot cleric not the DM. He felt like sharing the pain that I had experienced in solo-ing a miniature zombie apocalypse by making my comrades be un-willingly made out with by a lich.

[Mandark]

When being a first time GM, I should build the world and beginning encounters instead of
* designing weapons with interesting qualities or effects.
** trying to figure out a proper way to build a master thrower/hulking hurler mix that let's someone use the master thrower skills: palm throw and double toss to throw four rouge ally's at a time so they can get four simultaneous sneak attacks in, ( well, get the sneak attacks in before the impact from the fall distance probably kills the rouges) {any suggestions on this build will be appreciated}
*** calculating how many high level rangers are required to decimate a town in one round, with one shot, without damaging the city's fortifications.*
**** creating random; random charts

[Lonely Tylenol]

*Being a Monk does not grant me proficiency in Death Saving Throws.
**Having a Paladin in the party does not allow me to add his Charisma modifier to my Death Saving Throws.
***Dammit, just die already!

[goto124]

* May not make a Rouge character who weaponises make-up.
** Especially not an overpowered one.
*** Make not make a hurricane of make-up puns.
**** May not do the above literally.

[Ksheep]

* May not make a Rouge character who weaponises make-up.
** Especially not an overpowered one.
*** Make not make a hurricane of make-up puns.
**** May not do the above literally.

Given the "weaponizes make-up" comment, I'm really not sure whether or not you misspelled "rogue" or not…

[Spore]

Given the "weaponizes make-up" comment, I'm really not sure whether or not you misspelled "rogue" or not…

It's missing the key pun of "overpowdered". But I'm on your side and unsure.

[CoOkIisme]

*If the character is a thinly veiled portrayal of any character from Avatar: TLA, They're vetoed.
*My Magus's Black Blade can't be Soul.
*I can't have a sentient arm, no matter what the rules say.

[BootStrapTommy]

*I may no longer pose as an emissary of a devil to obtain information about troop movements and positions of a demonic army.
**I cannot sell said information to the plane they are invading.
**I cannot then sell it to the devil whose emissary I pretended to be so that he could take advantage of the situation
*** I cannot then sell the information that I just did both of those back to the demons.

[ComatosePhoenix]

*No longer allowed to spike caravan water supplies with LSD orange juice

[Rater202]

*If I build one more Preteen Boy that builds guns in his basement, I'm getting slapped on the head-I've already got two, I don't need three.
**Crossbows can not be substituted for guns.
***Okay, fine, sword making is a real hobby, he can do that.
****Yes, I can base his super powers on his hobby.
*****No matter what the rules say, I can't recreate the Unlimited Blade Works in full as a Superpower for a 12 year old with under 12 refresh

[Rater202]

I may not build a Robotic Richard Simmons.
**Especially not in a setting where neither robots nor Richard Simmons exist
***May not be sad when nobody else gets the reference.

[AquaLord]

*In an l5R game I am not allowed to call our ronin "hobo-san"
** Not allowed continue to call him hobo-san after we learn he is the secret heir to the empire
*** If he becomes emperor i am not allowed to refer to him as "Emperor hobo-san"

[Hiro Protagonest]

*In an l5R game I am not allowed to call our ronin "hobo-san"
** Not allowed continue to call him hobo-san after we learn he is the secret heir to the empire
*** If he becomes emperor i am not allowed to refer to him as "Emperor hobo-san"

****Calling him "the hobo king" is right out
*****He isn't really able to instantly travel anywhere that has a trashcan fire

[Kazyan]

*I will not sneak into a Tzimisce elder's home and then insult him for lack of hospitality when he catches me, unless I want to get fastballed into a lamppost again.

[Socratov]

*I may no longer pose as an emissary of a devil to obtain information about troop movements and positions of a demonic army.
**I cannot sell said information to the plane they are invading.
**I cannot then sell it to the devil whose emissary I pretended to be so that he could take advantage of the situation
*** I cannot then sell the information that I just did both of those back to the demons.

Why not? Word of your exploits will come out eventually and you'll be more screwed then ever because they three of them will see you as their common enemy. If anything this will make a great campaign hook. Plus, a dM can spring this on you whenever he wants, depending on viciousness

[illyahr]

*In an l5R game I am not allowed to call our ronin "hobo-san"
** Not allowed continue to call him hobo-san after we learn he is the secret heir to the empire
*** If he becomes emperor i am not allowed to refer to him as "Emperor hobo-san"

Hey, show some respect. It's Hobo-sama. :smallwink:

[DigoDragon]

* When forced to choose between two friends, I am not allowed to come up with a third option to make everyone happy.
** Banned from the assumption that when someone is 'just there for the food' that I should simply feed them.
*** Giving up your own spot at the dinner invitation so that your friend can do business with pirates is not going to happen.
**** My character is no longer allowed to take comfort in his significant other when his idea to help everyone blows up in his face.
***** I am the Charlie Brown of the team. Get used to never kicking that football.

[Anonymouswizard]

*In an l5R game I am not allowed to call our ronin "hobo-san"
** Not allowed continue to call him hobo-san after we learn he is the secret heir to the empire
*** If he becomes emperor i am not allowed to refer to him as "Emperor hobo-san"

**** A ronin-shugenja is not a dipsomancer.
***** He did not leave his clan because his obsession grew too much.


*I will not sneak into a Tzimisce elder's home and then insult him for lack of hospitality when he catches me, unless I want to get fastballed into a lamppost again.

As a GM:
* I may no longer create a noncombatant Tzimisce villain with multiple escape plans.
** Especially if they rely on using blood form to get a good headstart on the PCs.
*** And friendship with the local Nosferatu to allow him to navigate the sewers easily.
**** He may not have over 100 ghouls that he maintains by sending spiked coffee to their office.
***** He may not use these ghouls to freeze the accounts of the Camarilla elders.
****** I may no longer take revenge of my PCs who kill the BBEG before they can start their plan.

For my players:
* I must be contactable by the other characters.
* I will not make the GM afraid that I'll embrace a celebrity.
** Except for Steven Fry.


For Myself as a player:
* When my socially optimised character has to take a break due to having too many sins, I may not replace him with a character minmaxed for buffing the party.
** Even if it is hilarious that he has no armour and only 4 HP.

[goto124]

** Even if it is hilarious that he has no armour and only 4 HP.

*** May not make him wear no clothes either.
**** May not have him take Vow of Nudity.
***** May not make endless nude jokes.

[Reathin]

* The paladin is hereby forbidden from offering the archvillain the opportunity to "rule the Material Plane as father and son"

* It's called "redemption", not "falling to the light side"

* I may no longer harness the Silence Before Which All Life Dies to stop the neighbor's garage band from playing at 1AM.

* The Darkness Before the Dawn of All Things may not be used to deal with the neighbor's Christmas lights, even if it is a gaudy mess and even if it is March and they haven't taken it down yet.


* While perhaps well deserved, I will not unleash the Apocalypse, Ragnarok, Armageddon, or any other form of world ending doom to avoid homeowner association meetings.



* Universal Obliteration may be considered on a case-by-case basis.

* Animal Empathy does NOT work on the Tarasque

* I will stop making innkeeps into the Big Bads of their campaigns.

* Amiferx the Allknowing DOES know why kids love cinnamon toast crunch, he's just not saying. I will stop hijacking his priesthood to ask him directly.

* I am NOT the very model of a modern major general.

* I will make war, not love. Better for everyone that way.

[Anonymouswizard]

*** May not make him wear no clothes either.
**** May not have him take Vow of Nudity.
***** May not make endless nude jokes.

****** May not argue that, like the Vow of Chastity and Vow of Poverty, the Vow of Nudity gives a +2 bonus to resist temptation rolls.
******* It does not give a larger bonus when resisting pride.
******** He's a Catholic priest!
********* I cannot convince the nun in her late fourties and nun-in-training in her twenties to also take a vow of nudity.

[Rater202]

* Animal Empathy does NOT work on the Tarasque

*Even if I have an extra dimensional space for a stomach and the ability to bypass immunities to ability drain, energy drain, and negative levels, a negative level touch attack, touch attacks that drain STr, DEX, CON, INT, WIS, and CHA, total immunity to bludgeoning and acid damage, and a bite attack that counts as epic, I may not intentionally get swallowed alive by the Tarasque so that I can "Eat it alive from the inside out"
**Doing so will not, in fact, give me all of it's powers-even if I eat every last bite and lick up all the blood.
***Okay, becoming a divine rank Zero Quasideity for killing the beast without the use of Wish or Miracle is permissible.
****Just don't Showboat about it.

Not something that happened, just a discussion.

[Psykenthrope]

For Shadowrun

* Am no longer allowed to play a free spirit that is a piece of the zeitgeist of all humanity.
** Said spirit is not allowed to have his only contact be "the rest of himself".
*** Said contact is not allowed to be better for information than one is allowed to have ranks in a given contact.
**** Not even if that is all the contact is good for.
***** No longer allowed to play free spirits.

* Am not allowed to use soup cans filled with Fluorescing Astral Bacteria and a cherry bomb as anti-magic grenades.
** Am not allowed to craft custom ammunition by filling hollow point bullets with Fluorescing Astral Bacteria for use as anti-caster ammunition.
*** Am not allowed access to Fluorescing Astral Bacteria.

[DigoDragon]

* I am no longer allowed to face hug the BBEG.
** Not allowed to face hug the BBEG right when the wizard mind-stuns the BBEG.
*** At no point should a face hug result in the BBEG's head being crushed like sparrow egg between thighs.

[goto124]

**** Are you face hugging the BBEG with your thighs?
***** What sort of lady character are you playing?

[DigoDragon]

***** What sort of lady character are you playing?

The bard. :smallamused:

[Ksheep]

* I may not reenact Romeo and Juliet
** Especially if we're playing in a modern-day campaign
*** No, I may not buy a brand of handguns called "Sword"
**** Not allowed to have a shootout in a gas station after I bite my thumb at a rival gang member

[Rater202]

The bard. :smallamused:

Who is 11 years old and a pony.

[goto124]

* I may not reenact Romeo and Juliet
** Especially if we're playing in a modern-day campaign


*** May not attempt to trick both PCs into killing themselves, believing the other is already dead.
**** How close to the original story are you trying to get?

[Almarck]

As a Player:
*Not allowed to use 3.5/PF crafting rules ever.
**They take too much time and too much frustration on both the DM.
*** Especially if the game is day to day sessions, rather than allowing downtimes.

As a DM:
*As cool as it it is; may not resurrect every minor villian as cyborgs because the PCs killed them all in messy ways.
**Especially not if said cyborging gives them ridiculous stats and special abilities.
***May not also do this to players to prevent them from dying off in a setting with no ressurection magics.

[Socratov]

*When playing DnD or it's derivatives, I cannot Play a malconvoker within 48 hours of watching a constantine episode.
*When playing Mage: the Ascension, John constantine may not be my character, inspiration for my character or inspiration for the setting of the game.
*I am hereby forbidden to come into contact with Constantine material when part of a roleplaying group, gathering or whatever.

[Rater202]

*I'm apparently not allowed to have my psychologically fragile child act like a psychologically fragile child.
**Especially not when he's terrified.
***Apparently being yelled at and his best friend punching him was supposed to make the situation better instead of worse.

[DigoDragon]

***Apparently being yelled at and his best friend punching him was supposed to make the situation better instead of worse.

**** At no point would an uppercut restore mental health.
***** Nor would a hay-maker.
****** Haha... I'm banned from making that joke ever again.

[Rater202]

**** At no point would an uppercut restore mental health.
***** Nor would a hay-maker.
****** Haha... I'm banned from making that joke ever again.

*******That joke makes no sense without context.

[vasharanpaladin]

*******That joke makes no sense without context.

********Just because I've watched Gurren-Lagann doesn't mean telling the other player to "clench those teeth" means a damn thing to anyone else at the table.
*********Still not allowed to reference any anime whatsoever.

[Baxter Konrad]

One for the Cleric of my first ever party:

* I am not allowed to cast Banishment on the end boss of a campaign arc and thus 'win' the boss fight on a single natural 20.

** In fact, I am not allowed to cast Banishment ever again.

[Ksheep]

* I may not make an Exploding, Piercing, Returning Harpoon
** I cannot expect for all the effects of that weapon to affect all struck targets
*** No, the opponents don't gete teleported to me when the Harpoon returns, even if it is stuck in them

* I may not use Ranged Pin with a Ghosttouch Bow in order to pin a ghost to a wall

[Silus]

*Though others may agree that the idea is awesome, I may never run a Gravity Falls/Night Vale crossover game due to endless arguments on the system to use.

[YossarianLives]

* I may no longer play a diplomancer.
** I am no longer allowed to play a laser-tentacle-death-tree.
*** I may no longer achieve faster-than-light in a stock fantasy campaign.

[goto124]

** People run Gravity Falls campaigns?
*** What sort of stuff happens there anyway?

[Spore]

*If the elderly inquisitor threatens to cut the throat of the McGuffin, you should hold your horses and try to calm him down
** It is not good diplomatic style to summon a skeletal champion between him and the girl to initiate a fight.
*** Furthermore it is bad sportsmanship to crush a venerable aged caster with an iron maiden effectively onehitting what should be the epic final encounter.
**** I am no longer allowed to make puns out of the semantic field of "mashing" and the NPC's name
***** Doubly so if it concerns alliterations like Constantin the Crushed, Constantin the Cracked and similar

[Sgt. Cookie]

*Suggesting that the only "diplomacy" we need is to hit them until they tell us what we need to know is fine.
**Suggesting we use "diplomacy" on our employer before he's even introduced himself is probably a bad idea.

[goto124]

*** Furthermore it is bad sportsmanship to crush a venerable aged caster with an iron maiden effectively onehitting what should be the epic final encounter.

**** No, your McGuffin Girl is not the Iron Maiden.
***** Not even under the guise of 'feminism'.

[Sith_Happens]

Fate Core:

* Yes, declaring someone to now be my friend is "out of scope" if I took them out using only physical attacks.
** Especially if that someone is a nameless NPC I'd never even seen before the conflict.
** I may not amass an army of "friends" through repeated abuse of the conflict resolution rules.
*** Especially not if my character's high concept is "Creepy Emotionless Girl."
**** Especially not if her weapon of choice is any sort of cutting implement.
...Wait, did I just make a Durarara!! reference without even realizing it? O_o

[TheTeaMustFlow]

Fate Core:

* Yes, declaring someone to now be my friend is "out of scope" if I took them out using only physical attacks.
** Especially if that someone is a nameless NPC I'd never even seen before the conflict.
** I may not amass an army of "friends" through repeated abuse of the conflict resolution rules.
*** Especially not if my character's high concept is "Creepy Emotionless Girl."
**** Especially not if her weapon of choice is any sort of cutting implement.
...Wait, did I just make a Durarara!! reference without even realizing it? O_o

Mate, if the creepy emotionless girl with the chainsaw who just beat you up tells you to be her friend, you start getting friendly.

[Rater202]

*Under no circumstances is my Necromancer allowed to travel to a near Identical but alternate version of Equestria where the point of divergence is some great but unavoidable catastrophe, befriend the mane 6, convince them to allow themselves to be turned into Dracopyres* and then convince them to let my necromancer use them as Loci when he becomes a Lich.**
**Just because this is a mega crossover game does not mean I can use magic and or technology that alters my body and soul to give myself any of the following powers: Sharingan, Byakugan, Mangekyo Sharingan, Eternal Mangekyo Sharingan, Rinnegan, Rinne Sharingan, Tenseigan, Unlimited Blade Works, Complete Immortality, omnipotence, or meat vision.
***Okay, just because my necromancer managed to combine the Sharingan and Byakugan in himself does not mean he can combine their most potent forms.
****I need a more Creative Name than "Rinnetenseigan"***
*****Just because all the Pcs now have ungodly powers of their own does not mean they can stop using their Omnitrices.
******I may not give mine to Dracopyre Twilight.
*******Azmuth will not build six more just for my pony-lici-getting him to put an evolutionary feature in mine in the first place was hard enough.
********May not use My Dracopyre Pony Loci as my six Paths
*********May not use Asura Path to absorb my Omnitrix allowing both myself and my Asura Path to use it simultaneously.
**********Dracopyre Pinke Pie can not be my Asura Path. She's dangerous enough without built in missiles.
***********MAy not have Asura Path turn into Greymatter and try to work the master control on mine.
************Seriously, no master control.
*************We are so far of the rails right now, guys.
**************I'm not allowed to make fantasy/scifi geeks as pcs anymore.
***************Seriously, the twelve year old geek with the ponies should not be the most terrifying PC.

Mega Crossover games get weird fast.

*A mixture of dragon, Vampire, and Werewolf. The original, Wolfwing, was a Werepyre that was half dragon on top of that, but the rest of them are more even mixtures. hybrid nature results in diluted power, so a young dracopye is no stronger than a vampire or werewolf of the same age, but they'll be significantly more powerful after a few centuries.
**In AQ, a Lich is a necromancer who turns themselves into any kind of sentient free willed undead and then rips out and binds part of their anima, life force(not soul) to objects to create phylacteries. a Locus is an other undead creature being used as a phylactery.
***The Strongest Form of the Sharingan is the Rinnegan-Rinne is the japanese word for Samsara, the cycle of Reincarnation believed in by Hindus and Buddhists. The ultimate form of the Byakugan is called Tenseigan, and tensei literally means reincarnation. So "Rinnetenseigan" literally means "cycle of Reincarnation reincarnation eye"

[DigoDragon]

* No longer allowed to screw with the system clock so that voice mail messages get time-stamped as having been recorded an hour from now.

[Mrc.]

*No longer to try and fins a way to join all these awesome games because you haven't had a game in over 6 months.
**No longer to get "Rater202" and "DigoDragon" stickers and cover your whole body with them. Your WHOLE body.
Seriously, you guys seem to have better games than me, can I join?

[Rater202]

*No longer to try and fins a way to join all these awesome games because you haven't had a game in over 6 months.
**No longer to get "Rater202" and "DigoDragon" stickers and cover your whole body with them. Your WHOLE body.

YES! yes! yes!!


Seriously, you guys seem to have better games than me, can I join?
Sorry, I think SoLiM is full, and that's the only forum game I'm in here.

I'm working with a project to make a Digimon RP system on this forum, so I might run something when we get tot he playtester stage, but I'ma Better player than I am a GM.

[GPuzzle]

**** No, your McGuffin Girl is not the Iron Maiden.
***** We're talking about Margaret Tatcher here, right? Or are we talking Steve Harris, Dave Murray, Adrian Smith, Bruce Dickinson, Nicko McBrain and Janick Gers?

[DigoDragon]

Seriously, you guys seem to have better games than me, can I join?

Someday I want to run that 'Expedition to Castle Ravenloft" idea with Ponies.

Oh and a Shadowrun game.

[Spore]

**** No, your McGuffin Girl is not the Iron Maiden.
***** Not even under the guise of 'feminism'.

****** Exclaiming: "This was SOOO metal!" is not what your pious oracle would shout.
******* Even if it is a bit fitting.

[Emmerlaus]

Someday I want to run that 'Expedition to Castle Ravenloft" idea with Ponies.

Oh and a Shadowrun game.

I dream of joining a shadowrun 4th edtition game myself but I dont like how its easy to die in such setting, compared to D&D where the party cleric can always revive you. In Shadowrun, a DocWagon contract is SOOOO costly :(

I should look into Expedition to Castle Ravencroft". I heard the name before but cant remember what kind of campaign it is. :)

[Ksheep]

Someday I want to run that 'Expedition to Castle Ravenloft" idea with Ponies.

Oh and a Shadowrun game.

How about a ponified Dark Sun campaign? I could see some overlap with Fallout Equestria, just with a lower tech level (and much less metal items). I could see the tainted Alicorns using psionics instead of the magic of Unicorns…

* I should refrain from making crossover campaigns
** Especially if they are completely different genres or tech levels
*** Not allowed to ponify everything while I'm at it
**** Especially if most of the group dislikes ponies

[Rater202]

Digo already made a Pony conversion for Shadowrun.

If you go to the MLP thread in media discussions, there should be a post on the first page by Topaz with a list of pony RPGs and Digo's one should be on it.

[DigoDragon]

Digo already made a Pony conversion for Shadowrun.

Well it's not quite finished, but the concept is fairly solid. ^^;

[GPuzzle]

*No longer allowed to make a game to honor the recent death of the creator of the universe.

[Hobbes1266]

*I am no longer allowed to do drugs on public transportation.
**Especially when trying to cross international borders.
***It is to be considered worse if I am the only person able to convince the border guards not to enter combat.

*I am not allowed to roll two sixes on a D6 to see how long my character will be high.
**I may not make it even worse by rolling a critical failure on a roll to wake up.
***I may not continue to roll critical failures on waking up the entire session.
****I am not allowed to be shot in the chest with a mini gun as soon as I wake up.

[Rater202]

No matter how evil I am, I may not breed half-celestial buffalo just so I can advertise my restaurant as having "Heavenly buffalo wings."

[Kane0]

* From now on Detect Thoughts will only get you black cats in blizzards and naked people you know.
** From now on targets of your Charm Person spells will ask you to give them lift to the markets then shout them lunch.
*** From now on Alter Self or Polymorph renders you both powerless and sterile while in your new form.
****You know what? Evocation spells only for you now.
*****Anybody other than you in your Leomund's Tiny Hut will use any means available to escape the hut while you are present within it.
******Your Sending spells are now sent in a random language the subject does not know.
*******No more spellcasters. Please no more.
********Neither Action Surge nor Second Wind can be used for that purpose. Keep it in combat and out of the gutter.

[goto124]

** Detect Thoughts now does nothing more than sensing if there are any thoughts in a 1d6 meters radius
*** You are thinking, right?

[Rater202]

*My twelve year old Rinnegan+Tenseian wielding, ultimatrix bearing, dracopyre pony phylactery/path having, master necromancer -lich can not use the groups dimensional travel device to head to gallifrey hours before or after the Doctor stole his TARDIS and grab one of the other TARDIS's that were in that Junkyard just so my Timelord Form can have a TARDIS.
**Especially since ultimate Timelord's can travel through time just fine without one.
***Species with native magical powers disrupt learned magic, so assuming them leaves you unable to use spells or chakra.
****The fact that Acid Wash is a Dracolich now means I have no excuse for complaining about that.

The scary part is, even though mine is the scariest, mine is not the most dangerous.

[DigoDragon]

* No matter how skilled I am, I should not be able to reattach broken legs with just a sewing kit, gauze, and a bottle of Wild Turkey.

[illyahr]

*Am not allowed to bring someone cut in two back from the dead with nothing but Sovereign Glue and a Heal check.

[Wookieetank]

*Duct Tape does not fix everything.
**Not allowed to keep it in my first aid kit.

[Rater202]

*Just because I have fast healing and regeneration does not mean I can feed myself indefinitely by practicing auto-cannibalism.
**Regeneration does not protect from diseases
***Especially prion diseases.
****The potions of cure disease cost more than food.
*****may not rip off bits of my flesh and sell them as food in order to pay for food.
******May not buy one ring of sustenance and feed the other PCs with my own flesh.
*******If I'm going to use monster classes to create a "Super Troll", I may not have an intelligence score higher than 8.

[DigoDragon]

* The doctor is no longer allowed to split off from the party and solo adventure into an abandoned government building.
** TARDIS is not 'Trekking Across Ruins Disregarding Immediate Safety'.
*** A S&W .357 is no substitute for a Sonic Screwdriver.
**** No longer allowed to disprove point 3 by successfully defeating all obstacles with bullets.
***** Wit, Snark, and Sarcasm are not the names of my companions.
****** Getting angry about falling 30 feet onto a cardboard container does not make me a 'mad man with a box'.
******* I am not cool enough to wear a decorative vegetable on my lapel.
******** Nor would the vegetable detect anything. Throwing it at others to 'detect vegetarian' doesn't count.

[Almarck]

*It is not possible to take a level in a "Social Class" the same way as selecting levels in other classes like "Fighter" or "Rogue"

[Socratov]

*It is not possible to take a level in a "Social Class" the same way as selecting levels in other classes like "Fighter" or "Rogue"

**not allowed to take levels in classes that are good at social situations, amongst which are: Warlock, Rogue, Bard and Factotum. This list is not exhaustive and the GM can edit this list to his tastes

[DigoDragon]

*It is not possible to take a level in a "Social Class" the same way as selecting levels in other classes like "Fighter" or "Rogue"

** Dipping one level in fighter is not the same thing as becoming a 'Second Class' character.

[Almarck]

** Dipping one level in fighter is not the same thing as becoming a 'Second Class' character.

*** The "wizard" class does not require that the character be of the "geek" social class.

(Just for the record, you guys aware of what the "social" class is supposed to mean?)

[Anonymouswizard]

** Dipping one level in fighter is not the same thing as becoming a 'Second Class' character.

*** I am not better than the multiclass characters.
**** Even if all my levels are in a homebrew 'Upper' class.
***** This 'Upper' class cannot have every social skill and 1d1000000 starting g.p.

[Almarck]

*** I am not better than the multiclass characters.
**** Even if all my levels are in a homebrew 'Upper' class.
***** This 'Upper' class cannot have every social skill and 1d1000000 starting g.p.

****** Addendum to first rule: "Social classes" have nothing to do with charisma or having class skills involving use of charisma.

[Anonymouswizard]

****** Addendum to first rule: "Social classes" have nothing to do with charisma or having class skills involving use of charisma.

******* Reply to addendum: I know, I was just looking to pun.

[Sith_Happens]

*It is not possible to take a level in a "Social Class" the same way as selecting levels in other classes like "Fighter" or "Rogue"

** The Aristocrat class is now banned.

[Lord Raziere]

** The Aristocrat class is now banned.

*** The History Class is also banned, as well as all other academic education courses.