Colon Tumor?

[Origamite]

I was just rereading the archives and I got to #7. In there, Durkon inadvertently smites Thor's enemies with a colon tumor. That struck me as a potential Chekov's Gun. I could see Thor's assistants going through the messages of the old system and striking Durkon's body, or the High Priest of, say, Loki. In the second scenario, they see who inflicted the High Priest with a tumor (cured with a simple potion, but still worth noticing) and come hunting for Durkon. Am I reading too much into a single joking punchline?

[NerdyKris]

Yes, you are reading way too much into a punchline made before he even had anything remotely resembling a plot for the comic.

[Jaxzan Proditor]

Aside from how it's very unlikely that joke will become relevant, since they got rid of the system it seems unlikely they'd be going through old messages.

[Emperordaniel]

Why would an undead vampire be affected by a colon tumor, anyways? :smallconfused:

[Bird]

Why would an undead vampire be affected by a colon tumor, anyways? :smallconfused:
Vampires run on magic, so I really have no idea, but now I'm curious: Do vampires' bodies undergo any type of cell division? They can heal on their own, which tells me: maybe. Also, do vampires use their digestive tracts after sucking down blood?

[brian 333]

What makes you think Oots characters have cells? They could be based on some other biological arrangement, such as being composed of equal parts of fire, earth, water, air, positive, and negative energy. No cells needed.

In this case, a colon tumor would result from an unhealthy increase of earth element in the bowels.

[Domino Quartz]

In this case, a colon tumor would result from an unhealthy increase of earth element in the bowels.
That...sounds a bit like something else to me (I think you know what I mean).

Anyway, my answer would be the same as NerdyKris's, but I would also add that he wasn't smiting Thor's enemies with a colon tumour in that strip - he was about to accidentally give one to Elan.

[Darth Paul]

A colon tumor: in an OotS post: is when one uses: far more colons: than are even remotely: justified by the structure: of one's post.

Here; is an illustration; of a semi-colon tumor.

And I apologize to anyone who has experienced, in real life, this horrible illness. I sincerely do not mean to make light of it, but I once had a professor who discussed "colon cancer" in writing at great length, i.e. when students used colons and semi-colons because they thought it made their work look more "technical". (They don't.)

[Kish]

Yes, a worshiper of Thor will cast Colon Tumor against a worshiper of Hel. The forum will erupt into protests that Thor should not be able to use a disease spell against the goddess of disease.

(Kidding. I don't actually believe 1) that the name of a spell from an earlier strip is a clue ever, 2) that a minor component of a throwaway joke will be brought back without a good reason, or 3) that anyone on the forum would protest if a cleric of Thor used a disease spell against a worshiper of Hel the way they did when a cleric of Hel used a weather control spell to the disadvantage of a worshiper of Thor.)

[Throknor]

On the one hand he has stated that everything before #13 were complete joke strips intended to drive traffic for other areas. At #13 he developed a reason to be in the dungeon and the two battles, and around #100 he fleshed out the general idea of what Xykon was doing and the world's backstory. So I don't see it as pertinent.

On the other hand, both the Gender-Changing Belt and Blackwing were initially jokes, so it isn't impossible. Though if anyone ended up with a tumor I would have expected it to be the one he was trying to heal: Elan.

[Bird]

What makes you think Oots characters have cells? They could be based on some other biological arrangement, such as being composed of equal parts of fire, earth, water, air, positive, and negative energy. No cells needed.

In this case, a colon tumor would result from an unhealthy increase of earth element in the bowels.
I assume that OotS characters will have cells whenever it becomes needed for a joke--in the same way that OotS occasionally references phylogenetics, even though its species were created from scratch by gods.

[Origamite]

On the other hand, both the Gender-Changing Belt and Blackwing were initially jokes, so it isn't impossible. Though if anyone ended up with a tumor I would have expected it to be the one he was trying to heal: Elan.

The only reason I thought of this topic was this; what good would the prayer be if it only affected those right in front of you? I mean, how often would the prayer be useful? How frequently are you going to have someone in front of you, an enemy of Thor, who you want to give a tumor? Also, there was no way to direct to whom the tumor should go. Anyway, that was just my line of thinking when I read the strip.

[Jaxzan Proditor]

The only reason I thought of this topic was this; what good would the prayer be if it only affected those right in front of you? I mean, how often would the prayer be useful? How frequently are you going to have someone in front of you, an enemy of Thor, who you want to give a tumor? Also, there was no way to direct to whom the tumor should go. Anyway, that was just my line of thinking when I read the strip.

Well, the point of that scene is to illustrate how unhelpful Thor Prayer is. Having the prayer do something useful, or have logical options, would undermine that point.

[JessmanCA]

I was just rereading the archives and I got to #7. In there, Durkon inadvertently smites Thor's enemies with a colon tumor. That struck me as a potential Chekov's Gun.

I don't think Chekov's Gun is actually abided by for many writers. The gun hanging on the wall can just be a way to express more info about a character's.. character. It doesn't have to go off. It can also just be a Red Herring to create more mystery and thus interest in the story. Or in the case of OotS it's probably just a joke.

[Kornaki]

The gun already fired (sort of) when we saw the strip where Thor has to answer the phone in person because they had to get rid of the answering machine. He could certainly call back to that joke if he wanted to but I see no reason to single that one out of every other joke as something that could impact the future direction of the comic.

[Throknor]

The only reason I thought of this topic was this; what good would the prayer be if it only affected those right in front of you? I mean, how often would the prayer be useful? How frequently are you going to have someone in front of you, an enemy of Thor, who you want to give a tumor? Also, there was no way to direct to whom the tumor should go. Anyway, that was just my line of thinking when I read the strip.
I don't know there are many, if any, cleric spells that don't affect a person the cleric can see. Half the time touch is required. But to answer the hypothetical, the cleric is working for a king he'd rather see dead is one possibility. He thinks he's getting a blessing and BOOM - tumor. Assuming it can be cast silently or at least in a different language, of course.

[Kish]

Humor me and pretend for a moment that it was a joke contained entirely in that strip rather than setting up for someone's death a thousand strips later.

It kind of defeats the purpose of the joke if the implication wasn't that the system was offering to inflict a colon tumor on someone Durkon very much didn't want to smite with a harmful spell, the person Durkon was trying to cast a spell on, i.e., Elan.

[Vinyadan]

Why would an undead vampire be affected by a colon tumor, anyways? :smallconfused:

Since he is already dead, it's a rare chance to turn a colon tumor in colon humor!
Otherwise, it would be off-color!

[brian 333]

I think the joke was a reference to how helpful automated 'customer service' lines are, and why so many people simply disregard them and keep pushing the buttons that will get them a real person, (hopefully.... eventually...)

I could be wrong, in which case we now know what kills Belkar.