AMEN IV: Return of the Pogo

[Goblin Music]

Control Sword! Befriend Sword! Use Sword
(GM has arcane Sword powers and can control some swords)

[Korith]

Break Enchantment

If you don't want to run into the fray yourself, you could always pit a minion or ten against my golem.

[Castaras]

Eh. That fight looks amateurish. I'll be baking pies if anyone has an urge to kill me.

* Heads into kitchen again *

[Goblin Music]

o... Wait! wouldn't that would destroy the golem?

[Korith]

If it does, then I'll know who's minions to enchant to my service, now won't I?

Besides, this is an early prototype. If a few angry goblins manage to take it down, that gives me some data to refine the next generation.

[Goblin Music]

he points at a sword (a sword in the center ) and says Dispel Steel (the sword will dispel all steel near it)

Edit: Fixed :smalltongue:

[Castaras]

Watch out thieves! Someone cast dispel Steal! :smalltongue:
I love picking up on Spelling mistakes.
* Closes kitchen door *

[Korith]

The golem looks at Korith, then back at Goblin Music, and shrugs. It shreds random nearby drapes in doing this, and steps towards Goblin Music, waiting for a command.

Golems 101: Few spells actually affect golems.

[Goblin Music]

(who cares i don't, and it bypasses the golem and hits the swords them selves) i will give you one last warning stop or die.

[Korith]

Korith nods

Enough of this. It seems that your magical bindings are doing their job, and you seem intimidating enough to call for ultimatums. Perhaps we can find some orcs to vivisect for your first practical test run. Yes, that's it...go slice up some orcs. Filthy things.

[Goblin Music]

I wasn't talking to you!

[Korith]

Nor I you. The golem is mine. It stops when I say so.

Korith waves goodbye to his orc-hunting golem.

[Goblin Music]

Fine test THIS *rust monster pops in to existence slamming into the golem using its Antennae*

[Fus.Weapon 1337]

...sigh...

[PirateMonk]

Warlord Zog's voice sounds again. "Hi, remember us? Hello? *Sigh* Zlag-00010010, could please remind them of our presence?" "Sure thing, boss!"
A hologram of an alien appears and starts firing off rockets.
"Yeeeeee-haw!"

[Castaras]

* Glances out of kitchen *

Oh, something happening?

[PirateMonk]

PirateMonk continues baking. "Probably."

[Fus.Weapon 1337]

Well, I'm off to slaughter the innocent. Until I'm back, Murderousness, you're in charge.
WOOHOO!

[Castaras]

...

Now I'm glad I don't have split personalities.

[Lord Magtok]

*The Shadow grabs all the darker emotions, and swallows them all.*

There. Now Magtok is once again whole.

Not yet.

Who would you be?

I am the emotions of Light, Mr. Shadow. The Happiness, Love, Honor, and Justice.

If you're the Light of Magtok, I should be able to slay you with a mere slap across the face, correct?

Nay, Shadow. I am actually much stronger than I would have you believe. You know that Lawful Good clone? He was my creation.

So why have you come here?

Isn't it obvious? I'm the Light. I'm here to turn us towards Good.

How do you plan to do that?

Umm...

Well I can clearly see who has more control over Reasoning and Intelligence. :smallamused:

Hey! That's not nice! I'm Good, I don't need a plan! I just rush in and try to turn you like Luke did his dad!

I see. And what if I refuse?

I won't let you absorb me and make us whole again.

*Calls in a squad of jetpack-equipped androids with bulletproof armor.* What made you think it was up to you to choose?

*Gulp.* :smalleek:

[Castaras]

I'm definatly glad I don't have split personalities.

[Nekulor]

I stored an aspect of my personality in each phylactery, 10 in total. The Nekulor you see is a combination of sadistic and benevolent Nekulor. As you can see, that causes problems...

[Korith]

Fine test THIS *rust monster pops in to existence slamming into the golem using its Antennae*

The golem crumbles.

Good one. Rustproofing is definately up for use in the next generation model. Have a cookie for your help.

Korith tosses Goblin Music a cookie

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

"So... someone set off some Split Personality Personification magic? Damn."

A strange cutscene takes place involving Fullbladder being ripped apart into seven different goblins, Santa the Deceiver, a White Mage, a priest, a dark wizard wearing a scarf, an even darker wizard wreathed in shadow with unearthly reptillian eyes, an aged human wizard who appears much the same as the first dark wizard but with some cybernetic enhancements that seem a few decades old, a strange one-eyed half drow, and a brain suspended in a tank. This lasts for a second, then all the embodiments are sucked back into the whole.

"I hate you all." the dazed, but whole Goblin states, and then departs for his private chambers, holding his head.

[Lord Magtok]

That was odd. Does he not know that it isn't spilt personailties in my case, but different personified emotions?

Wait...wha-? Slow down Shadow of Magtok, I don't get all those big words.

That is because you are unintelligent. Now at the moment, I'm unable to access the last page of the avatar request thread. Would someone please check for me if my request was taken? St. Pat's day is tomorrow, and I'd like to be prepared.

[PirateMonk]

PirateMonk begins baking peanut butter brownies, while a heat ray lands on Korith.

[Goblin Music]

*Catches cookie* Thanks.

[Castaras]

That is because you are unintelligent. Now at the moment, I'm unable to access the last page of the avatar request thread. Would someone please check for me if my request was taken? St. Pat's day is tomorrow, and I'd like to be prepared.

Nope.

Meh, I can't think of anything to do to my avvie. I'll just change the hue and be done with it.

[PirateMonk]

St. Pat's day is tomorrow, and I'd like to be prepared.

"Oh, right! Fortunately, I just have to say I dye my robes green (which I do), as my avatars are always prepared. Go rangers!"

[Madmal]

I'm already wearing green, so no probs there...
hello there, how is the project doing?
...they keep fighting themselves...:smallsigh:
...crud
at least it's entretaining...here, sit and have some cookies...
Gladly:smallamused:

[PirateMonk]

*Catches cookie* Thanks.

That wasn't one of my cookies, was it? Because I need those. Actually, I'll take it anyway. <Takes cookie and tosses it on the pile>

[Lord Magtok]

I'm already wearing green, so no probs there...
hello there, how is the project doing?
...they keep fighting themselves...:smallsigh:
...crud
at least it's entretaining...here, sit and have some cookies...
Gladly:smallamused:

Project? Perhaps I should keep a better watch over this divided being. It seems suspicious.

MagShadow, I can hear your every thought, ya know.

It matters not. Hey, umm... Light?

Yeah?

I believe Saurous's Happiness wanted to discuss something with you downstairs.

I already know that trick! Saurous did it to his Happiness!

Darn. By the way, I think its time we become one again.

But I like being just me! :smallfrown:

Too bad. *Absorbs Light.*

There. I'm myself again. Now you all see I don't have a "sweet side." :smallannoyed:

[Goblin Music]

That wasn't one of my cookies, was it? Because I need those. Actually, I'll take it anyway. <Takes cookie and tosses it on the pile>
hey that is mine! Disintegrate! *thieves cookie*

[Saurous]

O...kay...I miss a lot when I'm only gone for a few hours? I can't imagine what I'd miss if I was gone for more than a day...

Magtok, don't you technically have a "sweet side" now if you absorbed the light? It became a part of you, and thus your "sweet side". Unless there is something convuluted involving that it was destroyed when it was absorbed. Which, I'm sure there is.

Wait...if everything is returning to normal...then that means we're going to have to go back into Saurous' mind!
Aww...man! Everybody! Scatter!
I don't want to be back in there! It's okay, but it's full of those weird thoughts and daydreams about...things.
...stuff about MC?
...yeah.
Happiness, weren't you the cause of that?
...yeah.
We are forgetting something very important at the moment, aren't we?
Yes, yes we are.

*The Personifications all suddenly evaporate into different colored energies, and then reform into one person*

[Dartonus]

Hands piratemonk a cookie.
Now hurry up with your town character. The crazy orc made it to my fortress.

[Lord Magtok]

O...kay...I miss a lot when I'm only gone for a few hours? I can't imagine what I'd miss if I was gone for more than a day...

Magtok, don't you technically have a "sweet side" now if you absorbed the light? It became a part of you, and thus your "sweet side". Unless there is something convuluted involving that it was destroyed when it was absorbed. Which, I'm sure there is.

Shut up. :smallannoyed:

I really could've sworn he didn't exist. Maybe I need to work harder at being evil to properly extinguish him.

The more harm you do to others, the more pain I'll cause inside you, Magtok. That's how a conscience works.

I'll find a way to overcome you, Light.

Nope, sorry. Determination and Confidence are mine.

That may be true, but I own Logic, most of the intellectual sides that work to create evil master plans.

Good will always prevail, Br-

-That name holds no meaning for me now. I am Lord Magtok, not that pathetic being I once was. He died so that I might come to power.

I still believe there is good in you.

And I find your beliefs to be the silly hopes of dreamers and a messenger from AMEN. :smallannoyed:

So you realized I'm not really part of you? :smalleek:

Correct. Now begone, fermium scum!

*Light leaves with a feeling of strong feeling of failure.*

You always try to hide it Magtok, but inside, you know it to be true.

Get lost, scumbag.

Fine...:smallfrown:

[Dartonus]

Maybe if you killed him and didn't absorb the corpse...?

[Raistlin1040]

*Sneak Attacks Magtok*

[PirateMonk]

hey that is mine! Disintegrate! *thieves cookie*

You disintegrated your own cookie? :smallconfused: Or were you targeting me, with my spell resistance Graham's Number^4334367356435 and Ring of Making My Enemies Reroll Until They Get a Result I Like? <Throws both cookies on the pile>


Hands piratemonk a cookie.
Now hurry up with your town character. The crazy orc made it to my fortress.

Then kill him! I can't do it right now... and why are you ignoring those flying saucers? Good for nothing brain eating lich... <Waves healing potion menacingly>

[Madmal]

*Vacuum sound, and Light is absorbed into another iron Flask*

SCORE!
*both vanish*

[Lord Magtok]

Can't sneak attack a cyborg with radar, Raistlin.

*pulls out a Stabbity Death dagger, and throws it at the back of Saurous's head, where it ends up leaving him with a rather nasty bit of steel piecing his canium.*

See that? That's how you should do it. Its fast, quick, and merciless. Also, stabbity death daggers never miss unless a simu ninja intercepts it with their own body.

[Raistlin1040]

Damn. Alright
*Throws Stabbity Death Dagger*

[Lord Magtok]

But what have I done to deserve a stabbity death? If you clearly state a reason, death is guaranteed, otherwise he blade may only injure as mine did.

*Notices bloody dagger in chest.*

That hurt a lot more than I expected it to. And this much blood loss might cause me to-*faints due to lack of blood.*

[Rex Idiotarum]

* Kicks the passed-out Magtok *

Our Motto; Kick'em when they're down!

[Saurous]

....

There appears to be a piece of sharp metal, apparently a dagger or shortsword of somesort, sticking out of the back of my head.

....

...thems' my brain-meats...

*Faints suddenly*

[PirateMonk]

"Anyone want to help me in here?"

[Goblin Music]

*thieves cookie and sets anti-theft devices around it*

[Saurous]

*Saurous pulls himself up off the ground, clutching the back of his head. He quickly pulls out the dagger.*

PM, I don't think I will, but I know two people who might... :smallamused:

*Happiness and Perversion manifest next to him, and walk over to PirateMonk*

Ooh! Ooh! Can I help? Can I help?
Why are you doing all this cooking, PirateMonk?
I think I know! Are you just trying to show off to Cassie, PM? :smallbiggrin:

You three have fun. :smallamused:

[Nekulor]

Piratemonk, I kill you with a stabbity death dagger because you are a clone of Belkar, and logically we do not need more than one. Also, you smell funny and look like frodo baggins
*throws stabbity death dagger*
Mine will kill because it has purpose.

[Lord Magtok]

*Magtok's robotic life-support system kicks in, and he awakens as good as new.*

Oww...I still feel that...I think I'm going to go lie down for a while in my room until my left lung repairs itself. Oww...*Enters room, and lies down on top of bed.*

[Raistlin1040]

*Throws Stabbity Death dagger at Magtok*
Magtok deserves a stabbity death because he thinks he's a better cyborg than me.

[Goblin Music]

*blinks* later *vanishes.*

[Lord Magtok]

*Throws Stabbity Death dagger at Magtok*
Magtok deserves a stabbity death because he thinks he's a better cyborg than me.

What the-?

Ow! Raistlin, what the heck was that for?!? I was still trying to recover from the last stabbity! And now there's another in my friggin head! What is wrong with-*dies.*

[Raistlin1040]

I have defeated Magtok! There's a new cyborg in town!

[Rex Idiotarum]

I wouldn't be too sure of that...

[Lord Magtok]

*Another clone emrges from cyrogenic sleep.*

Wow...what'd you do to the last guy?!? I heard his screams from inside my sound-proof pod! And before you start claiming that you're big and bad, might I point out who has more experience, and which of the two of us is merely toying with the other?

Raistlin deserves a stabbity death for making me a villager in his game.

*Stabbity death dagger kills the blackguard/machine known as Raistlin.*

[Raistlin1040]

HA! Rex took the dagger
*Throws stabbity death dagger at magtok*
Magtok deserves a stabbity death for attempting to stab me.

[Fus.Weapon 1337]

Wow. I fall asleep for 3 hours and this is what happens?
I'm glad we missed it, though.
Totally.
Yup.
...sure...

[Rex Idiotarum]

I'm a Kleptomaniac!
Yay!

[Lord Magtok]

Darn you, wannabe villain!

*New clone emerges*

Raistlin desrves to die a stabbity death for giving in to his darker side, and yet still commiting arguably good deeds.

Edit: No! Double simu!

*Hides.*

[Raistlin1040]

If I was a wannabe, why would I kill you
*Stabbity death dagger at Magtok*
Magtok deserves a stabbity death for trying to kill me twice.

[PirateMonk]

The flying saucers bombard the cyborgs with super-EMP. They die.

[Nekulor]

Piratemonk, I killed you with a reasoned stabbity death dagger on the 10th page.

[Saurous]

Nekulor, you obviously have not heard of the rate of revival around here. There is about a three-second time frame between death and revival. Killing someone really doesn't matter in the long run.

[Nekulor]

He didn't acknowledge it though... that makes me sad.

[Goblin Music]

the army of daleks declare war on the space ship saucer thingys.
they shoot at the flying saucers

[Saurous]

Good. Now use that sadness to do something productive. Like getting hit by a bus or commiting suicide. Or conquering Australia. No conquering Asia, though. That's what I'm going to be attempting this evening.

[Goblin Music]

*GM appears* PM deserves a stabbity Death for going ofline when the Daleks declared war *throws stabbity death dagger
Then vanishes.

[Deathcow]

GM deserves a stabbity death dagger for not knowing how to use grammar or punctuation.

I'm a pacifist, though, so I'm not going to stab him.

[Saurous]

You all deserve stabbitty death for dragging that game in here. :smallannoyed:

[Fus.Weapon 1337]

Deathcow dies a stabbity death because he forgot to say "spelling" in the list of things GM can't use.
And Saurous gets one for simu'ing me.

Yeah, go Murderousness! Woo!
*insert cheering noise here*
*sigh*

[Saurous]

Seriously, though. Stop that. And, I have levels in Simu-ninja, Fus. :smallbiggrin:

[Fus.Weapon 1337]

Ok, we'll stop.
Wait a moment. How exactly are we going to fuse(no pun intended) back to normal?
Umm, I have an id-
I'm back. And Lust, what did I say about speaking?
*smack*
Ow...

[PirateMonk]

He didn't acknowledge it though... that makes me sad.

You obviously haven't noticed my avatar meatshields.

[Lord Magtok]

Strange how its gotten so quiet here all of a sudden...why and how do we do that, anyway?

[Raistlin1040]

*Stabbity Death Dagger at Magtok*
I am unsure.

[Lord Magtok]

That hurt...and you didn't give a reason, so I live! (But with a severe injury.)

You deserve to die a stabbity death for repeatedly attacking me, and acting as murdering me were a big deal, when every experienced AMENite has done it several times easily.

*Stabbities.*

Now, if you're going to be all evil and stuff, maybe you should consider officially joining.

[Fus.Weapon 1337]

*yawn*
Bored!

[Raistlin1040]

Raistlin repairs his injury sustained from the dagger.
Where do I sign?

[Fus.Weapon 1337]

I had to sign on a paladin with a scalpel. And if you get a paper contract, burn it.

[Saurous]

I was required to sign by using a dagger to put my signature into a slave's brain. Man, that was awesome.

*Saurous sits down, and begins writing something for no real reason. None at all.*

[Lord Magtok]

Hmmm...why not sign on Saurous's face? I'm sure he won't find if we write up the membership form on his head with an extremely thin, red laser beam.

*Fires laser cannon.*

Okay, now just move the beam over there, and sign. Don't worry, he won't mind.

[Raistlin1040]

Raistlin walks over and stabs Saurous. He then signs his name in Saurous' blood.

[Goblin Music]

*reappears* am i required to sighs some where?

[Saurous]

*Ducks*

Why not Fus's face? He doesn't exactly need his face, does he? :smallannoyed:



Oh, look, a Simu-bird. And, I can't believe you stabbed me, again. When did I become reality's pincushion?

[Fus.Weapon 1337]

*burns whatever Saurous was writing*
*is off in corner playing Mega Man 3*
*is off murdering stuff*
*is off smacking around Lust*
*is off being smacked around by Evilness*
*is off being insane*

[Lord Magtok]

Umm..that works too. I still think a brain-melting laser would've been cooler. :smallfrown:

[Raistlin1040]

Sorry Magtok. It's kind of a motif. Signing in blood you know?

[Goblin Music]

Hum, oy! daleks blast my name on the side o this building Ok.

[Saurous]

Sorry Magtok. It's kind of a motif. Signing in blood you know?

Motif? I just call in "unoriginal".

Fus, I already memorized what I was writing. But, did you even know what it was? Yes, yes. I know no one really cares.

[Fus.Weapon 1337]

Hey, Magic, could you open up a time portal?
Yup!

*opens up portal*
*sticks head through and reads whatever Saurous was writing*

Well, now I do.

[Lord Magtok]

Motif? I just call in "unoriginal".

Fus, I already memorized what I was writing. But, did you even know what it was? Yes, yes. I know no one really cares.

Don't talk like that. I care, Saurous.:smallsmile: Only since I believe the info can be used against you.

[Saurous]

So, Fus, what was it then? :smallannoyed:

[Fus.Weapon 1337]

HOLY CRAP! MAGTOK USED A HAPPY SMiLY AND SHOWED CARE TOWARDS SAUROUS! Even though he did do this, it's still rather groundbreaking.

Hmm, thank god I'm the Cunning aspect and can do this kind of thing...

*insert detailed explanation of what was on the sheet here*

[Saurous]

*Insert equally detailed explanation of why he was writing such a thing here*

OH NOES! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE! MAGTOK ACTUALLY CARES! No blackmail for you.

[Lord Magtok]

C'mon, Saurous. We're good pals, you can trust me with whatever it is... *tries to read mind.* This better work, or I'm going to be throwing up for the next week trying to get over the feeling of being nice to that necrophilliac.

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

Fullbladder puts on the airs of someone not entirely Fullbladder-esque and appears in front of Saurous.

"Magtok cares for you very much. With our new Weekends Package, you can talk to people who care for you like him five hundred times more on evenings and weekends for the same price you pay for our regular package."

With this he hands Saurous a coupon for a free Radio--telecommunicative services not included--and scuttles away.

[Saurous]

.....

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! That...that's a good one, Magtok. "Good pals", yeah right. Ha. *Magtok is removed from Saurous' mind by some sort of mental barrier* Oh, and I'm not necrophilliac. For the twentieth time.

[Fus.Weapon 1337]

Hey, Saurous, whatever happened to Maur?

[Dartonus]

God, will the crazy goblins and orcs get away from my fortress? A siege will accomplish nothing, as my workers are awakened undead!

[PirateMonk]

Hey, Saurous, whatever happened to Maur?

"He's right... oh. He apparently got abducted by aliens."

[Saurous]

*Following this, several explosions come from the sky, and Maur falls out of the air and lands on the ground in a heap*

[Dartonus]

30 airwings fly overhead. 10 open fire on saurous, while the others look around for piratemonk's flying saucers. If they see the saucers, they open fire.
Oh, and piratemonk? MAKE A TOWN CHARACTER ALREADY! THE PSYCHO ORCS ARE BESIEGING MY FORTRESS! But I will counter attack with SCIENCE!

[Castaras]

Eh. Nothing much happening, then.

[Saurous]

Nope, it's just the daily routine.

*Saurous somehow dodges the blasts, Matrix style*

[Castaras]

Might as well throw in a pie then.

* Throws pie at Saurous *

[Saurous]

*Is hit*

Damnit, Castaras. Do I want to know what was in that pie?

[Castaras]

It wasn't love potion. I ran out a while ago.

* Picks up clipboard *

It's a test potion on splitting personalities.

[Dartonus]

I fire off a Ray of Bug Piratemonk 'till he makes a town character

[PirateMonk]

30 airwings fly overhead. 10 open fire on saurous, while the others look around for piratemonk's flying saucers. If they see the saucers, they open fire.
Oh, and piratemonk? MAKE A TOWN CHARACTER ALREADY! THE PSYCHO ORCS ARE BESIEGING MY FORTRESS! But I will counter attack with SCIENCE!

They aren't my saucers. They're Warlord Zog's.


I fire off a Ray of Bug Piratemonk 'till he makes a town character

What did I say about Spell Resistance Graham's number^8758783488391 and my Ring of Making My Enemies Reroll Until They Get A Result I Like?

[Dartonus]

Just make a towny already.

[PirateMonk]

NEVER!!!!!!!!! <Starts hurling healing potions at Sha'rall, and then begins reading a scroll of Cure Extra-Critical Wounds>

[Castaras]

Wait what's happening over there?

* Puts down clipboard *

[Goblin Music]

@ Dartonus: If you need help in the town, i can help i got 6 townies 3 CN with a tiny hint of evil, and one that has an interesting alignment

[PirateMonk]

"Okay." Several PirateMonk clones walk in, carrying massive piles of pastries. Through DM's Omniscience and Metagaming, I've discovered that baked goods can penetrate the energy shields. Any ideas on how to get them up there and do actual damage with them?"

[Castaras]

Add in some knives.

* Picks up pie and opens it up *

I always find small sharp implements work best in pies.

[Saurous]

How about we insert explosives in them?
Yeah! Explosives rock! :smallbiggrin:
Um...I think the Personality Split potion you put in there is beginning to work, Castaras.

[Castaras]

Explosives could probably work.

Wait the personality potion is working?

* Scribbles on clipboard *

[Dartonus]

Piratemonk! stop delaying your towny! The Orc who's with the goblins is laying siege to my weapons factory! kinda pointless, though... My undead don't need food. He wants to kill me for crimes against goblinkind. LOL.

[PirateMonk]

Piratemonk! stop delaying your towny! The Orc who's with the goblins is laying siege to my weapons factory! kinda pointless, though... My undead don't need food. He wants to kill me for crimes against goblinkind. LOL.

It's not that kind of siege. What Kroshak actually said was that he was going to ruin you economically by preventing anyone from going in or out. Though how one non-god can accomplish that...

[Castaras]

Errm...Dartonus? People don't have to create a town character if they don't want to. AMEN isn't even part of the town, in case you haven't realised.

* Picks up pies and explosives. Puts explosives in pies *

[PirateMonk]

PirateMonk uses his Strength of Graham's Number^8383748937189375987598458973547567365784656 82 to launch the pastries.

[Castaras]

Hey! That one doesn't have explosives....

* Pie falls on Castaras *

Great. :smallannoyed:
Look on the bright side! At least you know that potion worked!
Shut up. Please.
Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, thinks I'll go and eat worms.
Shut up insanity.
Cake mix!
This is a predictable scenario, we just need to implement mathematical algebra and quadratic equations in this.

[Dartonus]

Yeah. Plus several portals have been set up around town for entry to the fortress. and a simple teleport spell could get a person in. I just like to bug People. Especially saurous... Oh god saurous! My lictor ate your pants while you were wearing them. Did you notice?

[PirateMonk]

The sharp things cause the pastries to dig into the saucers and stick, while the explosives explode and destroy them.

"This is taking forever. Any ideas on how to get this done faster? Without godmodding?

[Castaras]

To work out that I would have to multiply the distance -
Shut up intellect.
Mouse stars pretty fly -
Shut up Insanity. :smallannoyed:
Did you see the way -
Shut. Up. Love. :smallmad:
Someone's getting stressy...:smallamused:
SHUT UP JOKE-CREATOR! :smallfurious:

[Dartonus]

*Hands piratemonk a Chaincannon*
Enjoy.

[Goblin Music]

The Dalek army is still shooting at the flying saucer things

[PirateMonk]

*Hands piratemonk a Chaincannon*
Enjoy.

<Finishes reading the scroll> Aren't you dead yet? <Enjoys>


The Dalek army is still shooting at the flying saucer things

They can't penetrate the energy shields.

[Castaras]

Right. You personalities go annoy someone else.

Ok! :smallbiggrin:
That is logically an interesting idea.
Hmm, so we don't annoy you?
* Giggle *
Bunnies!

* Sigh *

Right now mix this...this...and this...

[Lord Magtok]

How about we insert explosives in them?
Yeah! Explosives rock! :smallbiggrin:
Um...I think the Personality Split potion you put in there is beginning to work, Castaras.

Can I have one of those? I need to make sure that I have "no sweet side." And I need to find out what else is in my head, without having to trust a Good quack psychologist.

[Dartonus]

I'm not dead, cause I hit myself with my unholy tentacles a couple times.
*Continues to hit self with unholy tentacles*

[Saurous]

At least it only split my mind between violence and everything els-
Hey guys! What's going on?
Nothing much, except we get to blow the crap out of flying saucers!
Why should we? We destroy the ships, and then what? We all die eventually. Why should we actually try living?
Come on, Depression! Turn that fro-
Use that expression, and I'm going to send you back into the basement, Happiness.
Aww...
This is so cliche, can we just go back to inhabiting one body? The cliche burns.
Taco salad, Bannana Fanna no jutsu!
Who let insanity loose?
Bowling ball!
What is wrong with you people? Why is it that we cannot go ten minutes without doing something insane?!
Someone call my name?!
Alright, alright! Everybody shut up. Stronger personalities: Violence, Intellect, and Sanity- you research a way to get rid of the personality split.

Intermediate personalities: Depression and Pervers- Wait, where is Perversion?
He's peeking into MC's room.
Whatever, you two will keep the weaker, more annoying personalities in line for now.

Insanity, and Happiness, you just sit there and be quiet.

[PirateMonk]

I'm not dead, cause I hit myself with my unholy tentacles a couple times.
*Continues to hit self with unholy tentacles*

<Casts Permanent Perfect Health on Sha'rall>

[Castaras]

* Intellect chucks Magtok a potion. *

This should satisfy your needs.

[Lord Magtok]

Intermediate personalities: Depression and Pervers- Wait, where is Perversion?
He's peeking into MC's room.
Whatever, you two will keep the weaker, more annoying personalities in line for now.

I thought perv would be one of the stronger aspects of you, Saurous. At least you admit its there. :smalltongue:

And since when was sanity one of your stronger aspects? :smalltongue:

*Catches and swallows potion.*

So...how long until it takes affect.

Freedom!

Happiness, I find that statement to be inaccurate. We are not free, we simply are temporarily out of the mind. I believe we will return shortly.

Kill, kill, kill!!! Burn, burn burn!! Get the necromancer!

So...I'm Indecision? Are you sure? Can I be someone else? But then again, do I want to?

I am here. Excuse me while I go fetch my sniper rifle. It seems a rather nice bullseye has been painted on Saurous's head.

Umm...I didn't do it.

[Castaras]

* Chucks a potion *

Now if this works...

* Drinks another potion *

[Saurous]

I'm never going to hear the end of this, am I, Magtok?

May I be the first to say that MC is se-
Perversion! You shouldn't be thinking like that! You are not meant to only love someone for how they look, you shoul-

*Perv flicks Happiness in the head. Happiness starts bleeding*

Ouch...

[Dartonus]

Casts Eternal perfect unhealth on self

[PirateMonk]

Casts Eternal perfect unhealth on self

It bounces off your SR, which you never said you turned off. You die. (No sneaky editing.)

[Lord Magtok]

I'm never going to hear the end of this, am I, Magtok?

If I stopped, that would be an act of good, wouldn't it?

Kill the necromancer!!!

Umm...which one?

The gun is loaded, the scope is aimed at his head, and I'm safe up here where they won't see me. Just a pull of the trigger, and Perversion and Happiness will both be dead.

[Saurous]

*Fury/Violence appears behind the one holding the sniper. The manifestation loads a shotgun, and unloads it into his chest*

You really should stop narrating yourself. :smallannoyed:

[Dartonus]

It bounces off your SR, which you never said you turned off. You die. (No sneaky editing.)
My CL is high enough to penetrate my own spell resistance.

[Castaras]

So...has the potion worked yet?
Hmm...:smallamused:
Doesn't look like it. :smallannoyed:
It got rid of everyone but me. :smallsmile:
Well then, sarcasm. You go play with someone.
Of course! :smallamused:

[PirateMonk]

Not if you roll a Natural 1... :smallamused:

[Dartonus]

But I didn't, did I? By the way, Piratemonk, I cantripized your illusory wall.

[Lord Magtok]

The wounded Cold-Blooded Killer is hit, and dies.

Meanwhile, the Maltese Cyborg is busy sitting in his dark office, with his whiskey in one hand, and his handgun spinning on the other.

When a man's partner is killed, he's supposed to do something about it. It doesn't make any difference what you thought of him. He was your partner and you're supposed to do something about it. And it happens we're in the detective business.

[Castaras]

Now that is one weird set of personalities you have Mag.

[Saurous]

The wounded Cold-Blooded Killer is hit, and dies.

Meanwhile, the Maltese Cyborg is busy sitting in his dark office, with his whiskey in one hand, and his handgun spinning on the other.

When a man's partner is killed, he's supposed to do something about it. It doesn't make any difference what you thought of him. He was your partner and you're supposed to do something about it. And it happens we're in the detective business.

Partner? I hope you don't mean...that kind of partner. :smallamused:

...you utterly disgust me, Perversion. Disgusting.

Aww...come on! No one ever enjoys my humor. :smallfrown:

[Castaras]

I found it sooooo funnny. :smallamused:

[Saurous]

Really? :smallbiggrin:

I have to agree. It was very clever and humorous. So original, too.

Yes!

[Raistlin1040]

*Stabbidy Death dagger at Saurous*
You deserve a stabbity death for bringing perversion into this here meeting.

[Castaras]

Saurous, does Perversion understand sarcasm?

Of course it does! [/sarcasm]

[PirateMonk]

But I didn't, did I? By the way, Piratemonk, I cantripized your illusory wall.

Yes you did. I Wished my Ring into existence, so the wording is literal; you have to reroll anything, not just things that directly affect me.

[Saurous]

Sarcasa-what? :smallconfused:

*Stabbity Death Dagger at Raistlin*

You deserve stabbity death for stabbing me in a conversation you weren't even part of. And because you brought this damn game in here. Get it out.

I have been struck with inspiration. Why doesn't Raistlin try one of Castaras's new "Ulitimate Power" potions? Eh, eh?

Ah, that is a good idea. Castaras, why doesn't Raistlin test out your newest creation? *Hint, hint*

[Castaras]

Wow! His knowledge is sooooo extensive! :smallamused:

Shut up. Please.

Of course! Shutting right up, yes I'll shut up, just for you I will -

I'll get the potion then.

Yippee. :smallannoyed:

[Saurous]

Sir, I think we should gather the others. The potion is beginning to wear off, and we wouldn't want to end up losing anyone.

No, of course we wouldn't. Especially not Happiness. :smallannoyed:

Actually, that would be a bad idea not to return without Happiness. He's a minor mental construct, whoose presence does not change your disposition much, but removing him will make you horrible to be around, and nearly inable to express feeling.

And...not feeling would be bad how?

You wouldn't be able to speak to others well?

And...?

...you wouldn't be able to feel for anyone?

...that would be bad how?

You-you...wouldn't...be able to feel for that certain person anymore. Hint, hint. :smallwink:

.....

That was cheap, Intellect. :smallannoyed:

[PirateMonk]

The aliens disintegrate Saurous and re-abduct Maur.

[Saurous]

*The main Saurous grabs Happiness, and uses him as a shield*

Am I the only one that thinks it is creepy that these aliens keep trying to abduct a five-year-old boy? :smallamused:

Perversion, that has to be the more idio-

Wait, that does actually make sense.

Heh. Pedophilliac aliens... :smalltongue:

[Castaras]

The aliens disintegrate Saurous and re-abduct Maur.

And the universe cheered and the birds came out again, singing in the new dawn. It was a good day.

[PirateMonk]

*The main Saurous grabs Happiness, and uses him as a shield*

Am I the only one that thinks it is creepy that these aliens keep trying to abduct a five-year-old boy? :smallamused:

Perversion, that has to be the more idio-

Wait, that does actually make sense.

Heh. Pedophilliac aliens... :smalltongue:

It's "experimentation." :smallamused:

[Saurous]

It's "experimentation." :smallamused:

The same "experimentation" that created him? :smallbiggrin:

I bet it is experimentation. Now get away from my son. :smallannoyed:

[Castaras]

Do we still have the mouthwash lake? Sarcasm's brain exploded.

[PirateMonk]

The same "experimentation" that created him? :smallbiggrin:

I bet it is experimentation. Now get away from my son. :smallannoyed:

"I don't think the aliens can hear you. Now be useful for a change a kill them before they scar Maur for life."

[Saurous]

He needs to be scarred for life. If he is not, then he will not rise to his best capabilities as an evil dictator. Or whatever he ends up being.

[Castaras]

Seriously, where's the mouthwash lake?

* Goes off to search for it. Finds it and dunks Sarcasm in it. *

That's better.

[PirateMonk]

He needs to be scarred for life. If he is not, then he will not rise to his best capabilities as an evil dictator. Or whatever he ends up being.

<Casts Light on the saucer containing Maur> Okay, destroy all the saucers but that one while Maur gets scarred.

[Castaras]

Time to test this new pie then.

* Throws pie at a saucer. Countdown begins. *

[Fus.Weapon 1337]

Wow, that's a lot of split personalities...
MONGOOSE HAMBUR-
*shotguns Insanity*
*slice 'n dices Insanity*
Must...beat...Mega Man 4!
*sneaks off*

[PirateMonk]

This isn't working. <Launches 5834769876854786750 baked AA missiles at the saucers>

[Castaras]

Got any more AA missiles? I wan to try putting them in some pies.

[PirateMonk]

All but one of the saucers have been destroyed. From that comes the following (With Zog moving closer and further from the com system): "Get away from me you freak! Gah! Ow! I said I'm sorry! What's wrong? Please don't kill me! I was just experimenting! Okay? We can be friends, right? Wait, what are you doing with those wand........ AAAUUGH! Little freak! Wait, have you got him? Great, try to keep him there for a while. Okay, AMEN? Are you listening? Well, if you get this freak away from us, maybe we can give you temporary independence while we move on to a softer target, like Stabbity Death or that rebel-controlled Town, or any other place where the five-year-olds don't have millions of fully charged wands. Sound good?"

[Castaras]

Looks like they're having problems.

* Sends a message in white magic. * No! Keep him away from us! You keep him!

[Fus.Weapon 1337]

*yawn*
Too quiet.

[Lord Magtok]

The Maltese Cyborg falls into an alcohol-induced coma, and The Cyborg With No Name enters AMEN with A Fistful of Dollars.

[Castaras]

Nothing interesting happening then?

[Lord Magtok]

*All personalities reunite.*

That's better. Why is it so boring and quiet?

*Throws one of Cassie's pies at Saurous.*

That's for not lifting a finger for your horribly probed son. He'll hate you forever now, and kill you for revenge later in some cliche manner.

[Castaras]

* Leaps for cover *

5...4...3...2...1...NOW!

* The pie explodes *

[Saurous]

Ouch. May I be the first to say that if I actually did try to help Maur, it would be counteracted by some f***ing cliche and munchkin-y way. And since when do you guys even care? The second I don't do something, everyone is paying attention...

[Castaras]

Hey! Don't blame me for killing you! It was Magtok who threw the pie!

* Picks up pie, going into defensive stance. *

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

A bolt of positive lightning (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Positive_lightning#Positive_lightning) strikes Magtok for no apparent reason. The resultant upper atmosphere lightning formation also destroys the one alien ship that somehow inevitably always manages to escape.

Fullbladder's voice is heard from his private, reinforced chambers.

"DAMN YOU, CAUSALITY!"

[PirateMonk]

The lightning bounces off the energy shields. "Please? Do you want anything else for this deal?"

[Saurous]

*Maur suddenly walks in, drinking a soda*

So...have you guys figured out that that was just a clone look-alike that they abucted? :smallamused:

...

It is 100% confirmed now, he is my son. Or Magtok's.

[PirateMonk]

PirateMonk head butts Maur. "Idiot! Do you have any idea how much those wands cost? And you gave them to a clone?"

[Castaras]

* Sighs and heads back into the kitchen. *

Blub...blub...blub...Arrgh!

* Sarcasm gets out of mouthwash lake *

[Saurous]

Hey! You made me spill my soda! And since when do we care about money and resources? Don't we have, like, inifinte amounts of money?

[Castaras]

Wow! He's noticed! :smallamused:

[Fus.Weapon 1337]

Hey, Maurs back!
Can't...talk...fighting...Pharoah Man...

[PirateMonk]

Hey! You made me spill my soda! And since when do we care about money and resources? Don't we have, like, inifinte amounts of money?

"Well, yes, but- wait. You made a clone in a lab with fermium rods in it? :smalleek: Suddenly I'm wondering who was 'experimenting' on who(m)...

[Castaras]

Oh congratulations PM. You've just made me want to puke! :smallannoyed:

* Sarcasm heads for mouth wash lake *

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

Upon hearing this, Fullbladder walks quickly from wherever he was hiding, looking very jittery. He rolls up a newspaper with the headline "Research Finds Halfings As Intellegent As Dogs" and the sub headline "Data Questionable" and smacks Piratemonk across the face with the aforementioned newspaper.

"Bad Belkarite! Bad! Bad! You know better than that."

[Saurous]

"Well, yes, but- wait. You made a clone in a lab with fermium rods in it? :smalleek: Suddenly I'm wondering who was 'experimenting' on who(m)...

"Uh..." :smalleek:

*Maur covers his mouth, and turns a pasty green color. He runs to the bathroom, and loud retching noises can be heard.*

Smoooth, PM. I'm glad my digestive track doesn't work when I'm incoporeal, or I'd probably vomit until next week. :smalleek:

[Castaras]

I sense a disturbance in the force. As if...my sarcasm began throwing up...

* Peers out of the kitchen *

What's going on? Actually, on second thoughts, I don't want to know.

[PirateMonk]

"Uh..." :smalleek:

*Maur covers his mouth, and turns a pasty green color. He runs to the bathroom, and loud retching noises can be heard.*

Smoooth, PM. I'm glad my digestive track doesn't work when I'm incoporeal, or I'd probably vomit until next week. :smalleek:

*Cackles* "Revenge is sweet."

Meanwhile, the aliens chuck the clone out of the saucer and disintegrate it.

"You had your chance, AMEN."

It continues firing.

[Castaras]

Anyone want to test some weapons of mass destruction?

* Carefully takes out pile of pies and very carefully puts them down near the group. *

[Saurous]

Anyone want to test some weapons of mass destruction?

* Carefully takes out pile of pies and very carefully puts them down near the group. *

Did you put in nuclear explosives or something to turn the aliens into zombies in there?

[Dartonus]

Sha'rall doesn't react to piratemonk's comment, except with a
I'm glad my digestive tract is decayed to the point where it works to eat, but not to vomit. Don't. Ask.

[Castaras]

Did you put in nuclear explosives or something to turn the aliens into zombies in there?

Highly dangerous explosives actually.

* Heads back into kitchen *

[Saurous]

Ah, so it is worth my time.

*Saurous floats over to the +3 Desk of Invulnerability. He ducks underneath it.*

*Wanders back out of the bathroom, and heads over to Saurous*

Dad, why are you hiding under that desk? Aren't you dead already?

I'm not taking my chances. And I just somehow shifted back to living again.

Ah.

[Lord Magtok]

*Maur suddenly walks in, drinking a soda*

So...have you guys figured out that that was just a clone look-alike that they abucted? :smallamused:

...

It is 100% confirmed now, he is my son. Or Magtok's.

Nah. If he was my kid, that would've meant I or some clone of me and Moon Called...:smalleek:

Yeah. Not mine. Besides, he hasn't shown any interest in lasers, robots, and the like. Nor does his mind show signs of multiple personality disorder.

And he has your eyes, Saurous.

[Castaras]

Thinking about that...

* Throws personality creating pie at Magtok *

[PirateMonk]

A green light pulses on the saucer. The equipment in Magtok's lab detects high levels of gamma radiation.

[Lord Magtok]

*Shoots the pie with a revolver, and it doesn't hit him.*

Don't even try it, Cassie.

Hmm...gamma radiation is in the area. Not that it really matters, unless the Hulk has come back for his revenge against me.

[Castaras]

Try what?

* Sarcasm throws another personality changing pie at Magtok *

[Lord Magtok]

*Throws a refrigerator in the way of the pie.*

Stop it!

[Castaras]

Wasn't me, it was Sarcasm.
Yeh, sure it was me.
Shut up Sarcasm.
Ooo I'm so scared. :smallamused:
* Pie fight *

[Saurous]

Nah. If he was my kid, that would've meant I or some clone of me and Moon Called...:smalleek:

Yeah. Not mine. Besides, he hasn't shown any interest in lasers, robots, and the like. Nor does his mind show signs of multiple personality disorder.

And he has your eyes, Saurous.

And he has MC's nose. Don't know why, but he does.

He stole Moon's nose! She must be avenged!

...how did Insanity escape?

I escaped, too. But only because I wanted to point out something about Magtok. Why is it that you are about the only one to call Castaras "Cassie"? The only real time people do that is when they seem to be...close to that person. Do you liiiike Castaras? :smallamused:

Why do the lesser Personifications always escape? Is it because they can escape from my mental defenses because they aren't as noticable?

And that is a load of bull...honkey, Happiness. When have you actually seen anyone do that?

You do. :smallwink:

No, I don't.

You call Moon Called "Moonie" and "Sweety" when no one is listening.

...do not! And, if I did, that's your fault. You're the emotion of happiness, love, and affection!

Oh, I guess I am.

[Lord Magtok]

Wait a second...what if those big pants are to hide Cassie's large shoes, and she tosses pies because she's a *gasp* clown!

Think about it. Big shoes (hidden by pants) + throwing pies = CLOWN! She's a psycho clown!


I escaped, too. But only because I wanted to point out something about Magtok. Why is it that you are about the only one to call Castaras "Cassie"? The only real time people do that is when they seem to be...close to that person. Do you liiiike Castaras?

Its simpler to just say Cassie. Saying Castaras is annoying for my cumbersome cybernetic speech functions. Now shut up.

[Castaras]

* Checks in mirror *

Nope, I'm not a clown.

* Looks at small shoes. Checks nose. *

No red nose. Nope. Definatly not a clown. I mean, I don't even have that make-up! I'm allergic to make-up and facepaint! :smallannoyed:

[Meynolds]

"Make-up and facepaint do not a clown make," says Meynolds, "And I am not a paladin before you decide to shoot me."

[Dartonus]

*Mummy lord Triggerhappy casts illusion on Castaras, making her look like a clown.*
Yes, you are a clown.

[PirateMonk]

A disintegration ray hits MC's offline body.

[Saurous]

Its simpler to just say Cassie. Saying Castaras is annoying for my cumbersome cybernetic speech functions. Now shut up.

Oooo! Oooo! I sense frustration! I'm gonna start singing now!

*He begins to sing the "Sitting in a Tree" song*

Just for the record, I no longer count this idiot as part of my mind. He's just some idiot that looks similar to me.

Castaras is a clown? My theory is complete!

*He pulls out a paper, and puts a check by "Castaras is a clown theory"*

[Lord Magtok]

Fine. You're right. You're not a clown. And I'm going to end this discussion now before I get hit with a pie, shot, stabbed, or any combination of the above or something even worse.

I'm not in the mood to start another fight right now, so I think I'll just torture that captured Skywalker kid again. Where did that copy of the videogame "Mafia" go?

(Seriously, Mafia is the worst PS2 game ever. I'm so glad I only rented it, and didn't actually buy it. The load time is so long, you could go to your kitchen, make a sandwich, and then eat it, and the game would still be loading.)

[Castaras]

The illusion fails and disappears.

Ugh.
Well what you going to do now eh?
Shuddup.
Well?
Sarcasm...
I have an idea...*Whisperwhisperwhisper*
Hmm...

* Begins singing *

Magtok and Dartonus
In a tree
Doing what they shouldn't be
First comes love
Then comes marriage
Then comes a baby in a mechanical carridge!

And look I got simu'd by the hundreds. Goody.

[Dartonus]

I hit Magtok with a piegun. The pie is filled with knives. The pie hits magtok's groin. I also hit castaras with a piegun. Headshot, anyone?

[Meynolds]

"Ooohhh. That's gonna leave a mark or fifty thousand."

[Castaras]

* The piegun flies over Castaras' head *

Hey! Stop wasting those pies!

* Throws nukepie at Dartonus. <Insert Nuke pic here> *

[Dartonus]

Actually, they're my homemade pies.
I fire 30 more at Castaras's head.

[Castaras]

* Gets angry *

I'm the only pie maker here.

* Dodges pies and sends another nuke explosion at Dartonus *

[PirateMonk]

I also make pies, but I store them in a Fire Trapped container. So good luck do anything with them, both of you.

[Meynolds]

*Offers a nuke to Castaras*

http://www.inexistentia.net/nuke.jpg

"That do?"

[Castaras]

* Grabs explosion and throws another pienuke at Dartonus *

http://www.inexistentia.net/nuke.jpg

[Dartonus]

Lock and load, boys!
*Loads missile launcher and fires*
http://www.inexistentia.net/nuke.jpg
http://www.inexistentia.net/nuke.jpg
http://www.inexistentia.net/nuke.jpg
Overkill!

[Castaras]

* Dies *

Congratulations! Give the kid a cigar! :smallamused:
Silence, Sarcasm.
Why should I? You can't do anything to me, you're dead.
But we're back.
Logically we could attack you.
*Gulp* :smalleek:

[PirateMonk]

A landing pod comes down from the saucer.

[Saurous]

A disintegration ray hits MC's offline body.

.....

*Eyetwitch*

And, to state how I'm feeling at the moment, let me allow Rage to speak:

GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!! :furious: :furious:

*Draws a greatswor out of thin air, and sends it spiraling through the air towards PM*

[Castaras]

Sarcasm begins to sing

Saurous and MC in a tree
Doing what they shouldn't be
First comes love
Then comes marriage
Then comes a baby in an undead carriage!

[PirateMonk]

.....

*Eyetwitch*

And, to state how I'm feeling at the moment, let me allow Rage to speak:

GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!! :furious: :furious:

*Draws a greatswor out of thin air, and sends it spiraling through the air towards PM*

"What are you doing that for? I've been doing more to fight the aliens than you have. Maybe if you had tried just a little harder..."

[Saurous]

"Do not lecture me on morals and what I should have done, diminutive creatin. And, you, Sarcasm."

Saurous waves his hand, and the saucer collapses inward.

"You may or may not end up like the saucer is about to be in three seconds if you continue to sing."

[Castaras]

O RLY?

Saurous and MC in a tree
Doing what they shouldn't be!

[PirateMonk]

O RLY?

Saurous and MC in a tree
Doing what they shouldn't be!


She's dead. He's grief-stricken.

Wait... are you sure about your policy on necrophilia? :smallamused:

[Castaras]

Meh. Sarcasm is alive, I'm dead. Be amusing to watch Sarcasm die.

Wait, you think I'm going to die?
Yes.
Well thanks for the support.

[Saurous]

O RLY?

Saurous and MC in a tree
Doing what they shouldn't be!


"Ya, rly." :smallannoyed:

Saurous lands a lightsaber between Sarcasm's eyes. He then sends a blast of negative energy at her/it.


She's dead. He's grief-stricken.

Wait... are you sure about your policy on necrophilia? :smallamused:

I'm not turning her into a zombie. If only because Magtok would never let me live it down, and because she'll be alive again before next week.

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

"Hmmm.... just a quick check. Hi. I'm Fullbladder's Delayed Intellect. Glad yo make your acquaintance. Piratemonk, those aliens have shields that apparently conventional and projectile weapons can penetrate easily, but lightning, which in itself is three times as hot as the surface of the Sun and contains Megajoules of energy in three millimetre packets--and not just lightning but POSITIVE LIGHTNING, which is a good deal more powerful--bounces right off. Does that make any sense? Seriously. How can a simple missile destroy what a bolt of something more powerful than the source of all life on the planet cannot?"

Fullbladder appears. He is behind Dartonus, with a sword of holy justice.

"No more pies," he mutters to himself, and sticks the blade through Dartonus, the missile launcher, and a pocket into the plane of Unreality, which borders all planes.

[Saurous]

"Hmmm.... just a quick check. Hi. I'm Fullbladder's Delayed Intellect. Glad yo make your acquaintance. Piratemonk, those aliens have shields that apparently conventional and projectile weapons can penetrate easily, but lightning, which in itself is three times as hot as the surface of the Sun and contains Megajoules of energy in three millimetre packets--and not just lightning but POSITIVE LIGHTNING, which is a good deal more powerful--bounces right off. Does that make any sense? Seriously. How can a simple missile destroy what a bolt of something more powerful than the source of all life on the planet cannot?"

Perhaps the shields are simply energy shields, and only reflect/deflect energy weaponry, such as spells, electricity, and other forms of energy?

[Dartonus]

Oh god. That's where antimatter comes from. :eek:
http://www.inexistentia.net/nuke.jpg
http://www.inexistentia.net/nuke.jpg
http://www.inexistentia.net/nuke.jpg
http://www.inexistentia.net/nuke.jpg
Big splosion.

[PirateMonk]

"Hmmm.... just a quick check. Hi. I'm Fullbladder's Delayed Intellect. Glad yo make your acquaintance. Piratemonk, those aliens have shields that apparently conventional and projectile weapons can penetrate easily, but lightning, which in itself is three times as hot as the surface of the Sun and contains Megajoules of energy in three millimetre packets--and not just lightning but POSITIVE LIGHTNING, which is a good deal more powerful--bounces right off. Does that make any sense? Seriously. How can a simple missile destroy what a bolt of something more powerful than the source of all life on the planet cannot?"

Simple. The energy shields are extremely powerful, but vulnerable to pastries.

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

"......

"Damn. You win this time, Piratemonk. You haven't seen the last of Delayed Intellect. Whenever you pull up short of a good explanation, I'll be there. Whenever a a plane doesn't get ripped apart by gremlins on the wings, I'll be there. Whenever a Bond Villain posseses Magtok, then with Batman as my witness, I'll be there."

This is accompanied by Batman, standing in the background and waving when he is mentioned.

[PirateMonk]

[COLOR="DarkSlateBlue"]"she'll be alive again before next week.

But... but... think of the dramatic potential!

[Dartonus]

I reappear.
"Guess what? I now have power over antimatter!"
I take revenge on Fullbladder's delayed intellect.
http://www.inexistentia.net/nuke.jpg
http://www.inexistentia.net/nuke.jpg
http://www.inexistentia.net/nuke.jpg
http://www.inexistentia.net/nuke.jpg
http://www.inexistentia.net/nuke.jpg
EXPLOSIVE SPOILER PYRAMID ATTACK!

[Saurous]

But... but... think of the dramatic potential!

Dramatic potential? We need no drama! This is not a freakin' soap opera!

[PirateMonk]

Perhaps the shields are simply energy shields, and only reflect/deflect energy weaponry, such as spells, electricity, and other forms of energy?

Spells can get through. The energy shields, at least.

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

"Oh Gods. Tell me you didn't destroy anything in Unreality, Dart. Tell me you didn't interfere with anything in Unreality!"

Fullbladder grabs Dartonus by the shirt and shakes him while yelling.

"Anything you destroy in Unreality is not destroyed in Reality. It is erased from all that is, ever was, and ever will be. There is no Antimatter there. It is a fine toothed comb in the hair of our world. You could shift a pebble and erase your earliest ancestors, effectively destroying yourself--but not your action in the void of Unreality. Truth be told, I was trying to destroy you with that pocket and that sword. But if you've done anything in there, you may have doomed us all!"

"DOOMED US ALL!"

"Well, everyone but Piratemonk."

[PirateMonk]

"Well, everyone but Piratemonk."

Well, yeah. I blew 40 feat slots last level on Extricated from Unreality. Useless, if you ask me. Twice as many as Spell Damage Unbound, and I still haven't noticed it doing anything for me. Not that I would, I suppose.

[Dartonus]

"Actually, I looked very closely. I either moved the pebble that created the Gufis, the goblin free federation, or that paladin group, EVIL or whatnot. Then I took the relic of antimatter mastery. Or the pebble might have been the one that let Mr. Cheney near a shotgun. No harm done anyways. Now let go of me."
http://www.inexistentia.net/nuke.jpg

[PirateMonk]

Inappropriate Topics

* Real-world politics

So try to avoid it.

Okay, I finally finished replacing those wands, Maur. I payed for the XP by tracking down and torturing to death the rest of your clones, to avoid a repeat of the incident. I'm also placing a Geas on you to prevent you from cloning yourself, being cloned, or going anywhere near a cloning lab.

[Saurous]

So try to avoid it.

Okay, I finally finished replacing those wands, Maur. I payed for the XP by tracking down and torturing to death the rest of your clones, to avoid a repeat of the incident. I'm also placing a Geas on you to prevent you from cloning yourself, being cloned, or going anywhere near a cloning lab.

"You are not my father, PM. Now stop treating me like you are. Unless you want me to use Smite Annoying again.

[Lord Magtok]

* Begins singing *

[I]Magtok and Dartonus
In a tree
Doing what they shouldn't be
First comes love
Then comes marriage
Then comes a baby in a mechanical carridge!


Cassie, I'd like you to know I left for a while to completely annhilate every alternate reality where that kind of thing happens. Also, the next person to make a comment like that about me is going to have to watch every episode of Tellytubbies ever made. Yes, I do in fact have them all. Its for torture purposes only. Shaddup. :smallannoyed:

[Saurous]

Cassie, I'd like you to know I left for a while to completely annhilate every alternate reality where that kind of thing happens. Also, the next person to make a comment like that about me is going to have to watch every episode of Tellytubbies ever made. Yes, I do in fact have them all. Its for torture purposes only. Shaddup. :smallannoyed:

*Saurous manifests Happiness and Perversion, and pushes them in front of Magtok. Happiness begins singing, and Perversion grins impishly*

Magtok and Cassie,
Sitting in a tree,
K-I-S-S-I-N-G!
First comes love,
Then come marrige,
Then comes a cyborg in a baby carrige!