Helpful Unwritten Rules of DnD

[Bluydee]

I've decided we need to be better at helping newcomers just starting to play 3.5. That is why here we have a rules compendium of things all new players must follow.

1. Never split the party.

a. No, not even then.

[Sidmen]

1 b. Yes, it is more fun to split the party.

[Curmudgeon]

2. Unless you really know what you're doing. In which case, the Rogue with Hide in Plain Sight really can scout ahead solo with lower total risk than if the party stays together.

3. Don't bunch up. You're just inviting a ranged area attack.

[Deox]

3. Don't bunch up. You're just inviting a ranged area attack.

I call that "Fireball Formation".

[Azoth]

4. You can never have too much rope

5. Always carry at least 3 different ways to start a fire.

[Alent]

6: There are very few problems that can't be solved by a Push-broom with an Eleven Foot pole, Sovereign Glue, Universal Solvent, or an implausible combination thereof.

[Svata]

7. If you have a couple thousand gold you don't know what to do with, remember, you can never have enough Feather Token: Trees.

[atemu1234]

X. Look out for Kobolds. If you see them when you're ever higher than level one, you're screwed.
i. Even at level one, you're basically screwed.

[Hamste]

9 Do not sunder the loot.

[atemu1234]

9 Do not sunder the loot.
a) No, not even when that loot is a god eating chunk of sentient, malevolent crystal.
i) Especially not when it's that.

[Blackhawk748]

10. Do not assume that goblins are pants-on-head stupid, it may be a trick.
11. Dragons are not big bundles of XP and treasure.
12. Owlbears, while silly looking, are still a bear, as such do not poke one when its sleeping.

[atemu1234]

Z) If you run into a monster, never assume the fight's going to be easy.

[Blackhawk748]

Z) If you run into a monster, never assume the fight's going to be easy.

A) Especially if its a Crab the size of a horse

[weckar]

13) Friends don't let friends play Monks

[atemu1234]

13) Friends don't let friends play Monks

Sometimes with Phaethon. Sometimes.

[Blackhawk748]

13) Friends don't let friends play Monks

A) Unless that friend knows EXACTLY what they are doing
AA) Sometimes not even then

[Svata]

AAA) Rubik is always clear to play a monk.

14) Don't be a douche to the other players, and especially, to the DM.

[Blackhawk748]

14) Don't be a douche to the other players, and especially, to the DM.

14a) No not even then

[Raven777]

Ð) Don't stick your hand in the hole.
..) Or any part of your body, for that matter.

[Blackhawk748]

Ð) Don't stick your hand in the hole.
..) Or any part of your body, for that matter.

wha.... i...... you.......

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/--D3v1vLjVDg/U37zlZ671CI/AAAAAAAAgQ8/z-NHKf_qynY/s1600/double-facepalm-o.gif

[weckar]

Now that I think of it, on a more serious note:

15) Elect a party leader you trust, and stick with them. Nothing slows a game down as much as an argument about what to do next.

[Brookshw]

16) remember, if you can do it, so can an enemy.

[Pilo]

17) The game is not made for you to have fun, It is made for every member of the group to have fun. Even that player hidden behind walls who is sending things to kill/mutilate/boil/evicerate your character and steal/destroy her/his stuff.

[weckar]

17b) Then again; any intent of PvP you might have will make PvP stand for 'Please Vacate Property'.

[Chronos]

18) Every member of the party should have some way of dealing with enemies at range. Even if it's just a nonmagical sling, and you don't have any feats to support it. My last group, none of the fighter-types ever carried a bow, and thus were always consistently stymied by flying enemies or enemies on the other side of a chasm.

[Raven777]

wha.... i...... you.......

Trust me on that one.

[Blackhawk748]

Trust me on that one.

the sad thing is is that i've seen that rule being broken............... it ended badly.

[nedz]

20. Always have three back up plans

These plan should be

Running away
Running away more quickly
Running away more quickly than everyone else

[Venger]

Ð) Don't stick your hand in the hole.
..) Or any part of your body, for that matter.

So that's how Otyugh Hole gives you Iron Will...

Q) Familiarize yourself with the tier list. Despite what you see in webcomics/cartoons/etc as far as media portrayal of the game goes, all classes are NOT equal to one another and if you and your friends are more or less on the same level, it'll lead to a better experience instead of angel summoner and bmx bandit.

[malonkey1]

So that's how Otyugh Hole gives you Iron Will...

Q) Familiarize yourself with the tier list. Despite what you see in webcomics/cartoons/etc as far as media portrayal of the game goes, all classes are NOT equal to one another and if you and your friends are more or less on the same level, it'll lead to a better experience instead of angel summoner and bmx bandit.

Which is, concidentally, the title of my failed pilot.

[Venger]

XO4)Don't include riddles in your game. No, not even then. I don't care what they were in. Playing "guess what the dm's thinking" is a game that no one enjoys.

[Blackhawk748]

XO4)Don't include riddles in your game. No, not even then. I don't care what they were in. Playing "guess what the dm's thinking" is a game that no one enjoys.

Caution Ignoring Rule XO4 may result in being pelted by Player's books.

[Rater202]

Don't play kender unless it's a silly game or both you and your character have a wisdom score greater than 15.

[Blackhawk748]

Don't play kender unless it's a silly game or both you and your character have a wisdom score greater than 15.

No, not even then.

[Fouredged Sword]

Never make a problem with only one solution. The party will miss the giant neon lights pointing to the answer you created for the problem and solve it with something you never considered. This is a feature, not a bug.

- Sub-rule - Never make a plot that won't allow for any given player character or NPC to die unexpectedly. If it has stats, it can die. The party will find a way.

[StoneCipher]

When in doubt, always use the ultimate escape plan - a portable hole inside a bag of holding.

[Blackhawk748]

When in doubt, always use the ultimate escape plan - a portable hole inside a bag of holding.

I thought it was a Sphere of Annihilation in The Well of the Worlds?

[weckar]

53) If your inventory list is shorter than your class feature list, buy more utility gear.

[dascarletm]

XO4)Don't include riddles in your game. No, not even then. I don't care what they were in. Playing "guess what the dm's thinking" is a game that no one enjoys.

PSSSH!

Riddles man riddles!

XO4-$) Riddle contests between player and NPCs are chill.

Think riddles in the dark.

[Blackhawk748]

PSSSH!

Riddles man riddles!

XO4-$) Riddle contests between player and NPCs are chill.

Think riddles in the dark.

Rule XO4 may be ignored if one of the following are satisfied 1)the riddles are good 2) the NPC is a Sphinx 3) His name is Gollum

[dascarletm]

Rule XO4 may be ignored if one of the following are satisfied 1)the riddles are good 2) the NPC is a Sphinx 3) His name is Gollum

you forgot

4) a sentient train that loves riddles.

That one needs to include the gunslinger class from Pathfinder though.

[Heliomance]

Rule I-Don't-Even-Know-What-Number-We're-On) Never use a ten foot pole. Far too many things have a ten foot blast radius. Use an eleven foot pole. Or better yet, a summoned Celestial Monkey.

[Pilo]

++nb) Low magic campaign means no spell at all and spellcasting classes lose the ability to cast spells.

[nakedonmyfoldin]

?) Never make a totally empty room. Players will not leave until they discover the super secret treasure.

[nimmo0110]

if your dm gives you a home ruled spell or magic iteam listen or read about it VERY carefully

[Curmudgeon]

30. If you're trying to be stealthy, Detect Magic and Arcane Sight shouldn't pick up you or your gear. Nystul's Magic Aura is your friend.

[Asrrin]

X) If your DM asks you, "Are you sure you want to do that?" think about what you are about to do, and reconsider.

[evangaline]

X) If your DM asks you, "Are you sure you want to do that?" think about what you are about to do, and reconsider.

After reconsidering you keep doing what you intended to do. After the unfortune befalls you, proceed to blame the DM for being unfair.

[nimmo0110]

After reconsidering you keep doing what you intended to do. After the unfortune befalls you, proceed to blame the DM for being unfair.

so true so true

[StoneCipher]

When cheesing, never tell your DM more than he needs to know. It's his job to know what to ban.

Also, when cheesing, make sure to have a backup character handy, because 9/10 your first will meet an angry and confused mindflayer or something.

[Gnome Alone]

Now that I think of it, on a more serious note:

15) Elect a party leader you trust, and stick with them. Nothing slows a game down as much as an argument about what to do next.

Do people really do this? Seems weird to me; methinks me prefers antihierarchical cooperationing. Kind of a shame to impose rulership into one of the areas of life where it is not automatically done so anyway.


X) If your DM asks you, "Are you sure you want to do that?" think about what you are about to do, and reconsider.

This, on the other hand, is like Unwritten Rule 0. Rule square root of zero, I don't know.

[Lightlawbliss]

This, on the other hand, is like Unwritten Rule 0. Rule square root of zero, I don't know.

I thought it was rule (0^(0/0))/0

If the DM doesn't give details about a room, get the details they aren't giving you

If you kill something where part of the body (bones, poison, hide, meat...) is worth something: HARVEST IT.
exception: at mid to high levels, feel free to ignore the stuff with terrible weight to gold ratio (yes, I'm looking at you 500 lbs of magical beast steaks)

[OldTrees1]

Never make a problem with only one solution. The party will miss the giant neon lights pointing to the answer you created for the problem and solve it with something you never considered. This is a feature, not a bug.

- Sub-rule - Never make a plot that won't allow for any given player character or NPC to die unexpectedly. If it has stats, it can die. The party will find a way.

Addendum
You shall always place at least 3 independent clues/ways if you want the players to do something. 2 clues/ways is asking for them to ignore/miss it.

Addendum 2
Since 3 is the theoretical limit and nobody wants to make plans at the theoretical limit, the real limit is 4 independent clues/ways.

[Urpriest]

35 (I think): You are never obligated to make the game less fun for the other players. No, not even if your alignment is CE or if you are a Paladin.

[Shining Wrath]

++N: Players, remember not every 'monster' is there to fight
++N: DM's, if your players enjoyed railroads they'd be at the Lionel website (http://www.lionel.com/) rather than your dining room table
++N: Stealing the Wizard's spell book is so 1972 as a plot twist

[georgie_leech]

Addendum
You shall always place at least 3 independent clues/ways if you want the players to do something. 2 clues/ways is asking for them to ignore/miss it.

Addendum 2
Since 3 is the theoretical limit and nobody wants to make plans at the theoretical limit, the real limit is 4 independent clues/ways.

I see what you did there.


#%: Everything can be (ab)used to make money.
a) Even that.
i) Especially that.

[IAmTehDave]

++N: Stealing the Wizard's spell book is so 1972 as a plot twist

INCREMENT N: Always have a decoy spellbook.

INCREMENT N: Always make sure what you kill stays dead.
Corollary: It might take a while, but holding a torch to the unconscious Troll is the only way to be sure.

[Amphetryon]

INCREMENT N: Always have a decoy spellbook.

INCREMENT N: Always make sure what you kill stays dead.
Corollary: It might take a while, but holding a torch to the unconscious Troll is the only way to be sure.

INCREMENT Na: If you're holding a torch to the unconscious Troll and the DM is just grinning at you, the Troll may have an alternate vulnerability.

[Shining Wrath]

INCREMENT N: Always have a decoy spellbook.

... SNIP ...

Especially if you are a sorcerer.

[OldTrees1]

INCREMENT Na: If you're holding a torch to the unconscious Troll and the DM is just grinning at you, the Troll may have an alternate vulnerability.

INCREMENT Nb: If the body is not getting destroyed, the troll is not dying.

[Kazyan]

(Artist Formerly Known As Prince Symbol): Bite the plot hooks. There's probably plot and loot behind them.

[Shining Wrath]

++N: Any time you do something and your DM starts to grin like the Cheshire Cat - STOP.
++N: DM's should have a ready supply of sad memories noted on 3x5 cards to suppress Cheshire Cat grins.

[Rater202]

*Always search the pockets of dead enemies for coins. every copper helps, and little bits now and then do add up.

**Don't try to figure out where the half-dragon half-troll half-vampire natural Weredeinonychus tuaric elf/owlbear came from. pondering it for more than a minute leads to madness.

[Beardbarian]

Y) Rogues stealing from the party are not funny for the rest of the party
YY) Evil Rogues stealing or killing against the party are NOT funny for the rest of the party
YYY) An NPC coming back after surrending is funny just ONE time. No. Not even then.
YYYY) Just because you need tto roleplay that particular aspect of your PC, doesn't mean you are allowed to annoy the rest of the party with a solo of 45 minutes

[kreenlover]

Alpha) If you split the party make sure that each weak character has a tanky one with them
Beta) Each character should carry back-up healing sources. Being split from your cleric and dying sucks.
Omega) If you know that a certain NPC is important to the plot, do not kill them at risk of having rocks fall.

[sonofzeal]

48If you're just randomly walking somewhere and the DM starts describing the area in exquisite detail, run.

49) If nothing's going on and the DM starts asking for Spot/Listen/Search checks, run.

50) If the DM asks you to wait and starts flipping through their notes, run.

51) If you hear sounds of dice rolling behind the DM screen, run.

52) Basically, if your DM ever does anything at all besides answer your questions....... run.

[nimmo0110]

if there is a guy in a bath robe chanting and you can hit, hit him, hit him hard

[kreenlover]

52) Basically, if your DM ever does anything at all besides answer your questions....... run.

52) a) If the DM is doing nothing but answering your questions, they are planning something, run.

[calam]

56) Make sure your party member's personalities are compatible. This way you won't have three people who want to kill each other.

57)DMs don't make elaborate descriptions for nothing, what seems boring and unnecessary now may become vitally important.

58)Every encounter has some sort of treasure

59)Don't underestimate a race just because they have a listed 10 intelligence. Average humans have 10 intelligence and they invented everything your DM researched.

60) Just because you're level one doesn't mean that everything will be scaled appropriately. Attacking the king won't get 2 level 1 guards after you.

[Yael]

1.84x1014) Your DM may write something while checking the DMG, this means he is planning something that is that complicated that needs revision of the rules. If that happens, run.

1.85x1014) A good person won't allow its friends to play monk. This was already listed, but it was way long ago, so it needs revision. Yeah, not even then. Especially not even then.

[Jeff the Green]

57)DMs don't make elaborate descriptions for nothing, what seems boring and unnecessary now may become vitally important.

57a) DMs, make sure you have elaborate descriptions for no particular reason sometimes.

[Yael]

57a) DMs, make sure you have elaborate descriptions for no particular reason sometimes.

57b) Especially for unnecesary things for no particular reason all the time.

[Khosan]

X) If your DM asks you, "Are you sure you want to do that?" think about what you are about to do, and reconsider.

Xa) If your DM cracks up as you state what you're about to do, you should totally still do it. It's gonna be awesome.

Once was in a fairly long fight where one of the big bads (a Graveknight (http://www.d20pfsrd.com/bestiary/monster-listings/templates/graveknight-cr-2) whose armor we'd looted not knowing what would happen) showed up on our airship. I then suggested we do a barrel roll to shake him off since he was on deck and we were somewhat near things to grab on to. The DM lost it and the plan totally worked except for the part where every single one of us failed our strength checks.

[Jeff the Green]

57b) Especially for unnecesary things for no particular reason all the time.

57c) And then when you get to a crucial plot point, use the beigest prose you can. That'll learn 'em to metagame!

[Telok]

<number>) If you find part of an artifact sword named Demonslayer do not throw it into the lava moat of a demon fortress (that you were warned was dangerous) because you don't know what to do with it.

<number+1>) Talk to the NPCs. They are a source of game world knowledge and hints about what to do next.

[thematgreen]

Number : Gather your party before ventureing forth.

Number : If you are a miniature giant space hampster then go for the eyes.

[OldTrees1]

Number : Gather your party before ventureing forth.

Number : If you are a miniature giant space hampster then go for the eyes.

I see what you did there.


Number: Fix you kit(heal, replace consumables/ammunition) before going onwards.

[kreenlover]

68) Ensure you check all the surface for monsters. Including ceilings and floors/

69) When the stalactites and stalagmites try and kill you, watch out for the flumphs; stupid monsters travel in packs.

70) Don't let the party wizard cast area spells in confined spaces.

71) Don't argue physics with the DM unless they have previously argued it with you.

72) If your DM starts to lose patience in your antics, be more amusing. When the DM gets bored, bad stuff happens.

[KingSmitty]

If your DM says "There's an item in this dungeon that will surely kill you tonight" dont tell the rest of the party and let them take all the loot. After they die, its free game on their loot.

[Necroticplague]

QWERTY:Remember, there aren't actually any penalties for sleep deprivation, but there are for sleeping in armor. Make of it what you will.
a)similarly, Listen checks are penalized by sleeping, but Spot checks aren't. Do with that as you may.

[Jeff the Green]

Remember, there aren't actually any penalties for sleep deprivation

There is if you spend more than eight hours taking at least one action per round, as that's a forced march. Though since you never take more than 1d6/hour nonlethal from this and you heal 1/HD/hour, a level 6 character can literally march across the world without stopping for a break.

[LTwerewolf]

a+b=c)Just because the encounter has treasure doesn't mean the party needs to find an enchanted greatsword in a wolf's stomach. Get creative on how they find things.

[rgrekejin]

Rule 45-J subsection B, header 2: Never summon so many monsters that your turn ends up taking longer than all the other turns in a round combined. Sure, it may technically be the most effective use of your actions, and it may be the only thing that saves you from a TPK, but the other players are still going to hate you for doing it. And also possibly the DM.

Rule -45: ALWAYS carry a dagger, no matter your class or level. You never know when something is going to swallow you whole.

[squiggit]

Rule 45-J subsection B, header 2: Never summon so many monsters that your turn ends up taking longer than all the other turns in a round combined. Sure, it may technically be the most effective use of your actions, and it may be the only thing that saves you from a TPK, but the other players are still going to hate you for doing it. And also possibly the DM.

To be fair, for some players that's one monster.

[rgrekejin]

Rule MK-Ultra: If you ever need something refrigerated, remember that there is technically no atmosphere within a Bags of Holding.

Rule Lincoln MKZ: Every character should have at least one personality quirk completely unassociated from their class or race. e.g. - A Woodelf Warlock who has an overt fondness for potatoes.

[atemu1234]

Rule Whatever) Only jerks try and use drown healing and think that they're clever.

[rgrekejin]

Rule Whatever) Only jerks try and use drown healing and think that they're clever.
a: Except for Mario!

Rule AK-47: If your DM is making you role a lot of survival checks to keep you from getting lost, remember: all you need is one good intelligence check to invent the compass.

Rule PPK: No gazebo has been a safe place for PCs since at least 1986.

Rule RX-79G: Call your mother more often. (this one is maybe more of a general life rule than anything else)

[Warlocknthewind]

There is no stat more important than Constitution. It should be your second highest stat starting out, always. It's what's keeping you alive to be able to have actions to contribute to the game, it must be at 14, at the very least. It matters little what race/class you play, Constitution is vital.

:smallcool:

[rgrekejin]

Rule A.E.: If you are a DM, The Weapons Shops of Isher is a poor model for how magic item shops should work in your world.

Rule Ex-S: If you are a DM, always keep in mind that Forgotten Realms/Eberron/Core/3rd Party material are all balanced to slightly different internal standards when deciding what to allow in your campaign.

[Kane0]

Rule [I dunno]: If your DM is using a published set of campaign books, reading out box text as you enter a room means you should be rolling for initiative.

[rgrekejin]

Rule 1954: If your DM has brought a Godzilla toy with them to serve as a miniature this session, you're probably screwed.

[...]

XVLQ.5a: Always use an orderly numbering system.

[atemu1234]

Rule 1954: If your DM has brought a Godzilla toy with them to serve as a miniature this session, you're probably screwed.

Rule X: If he brought a miniature TARDIS, it's going to be awesome.

[rgrekejin]

Rule NAFT: If you are a DM, your players will never find your NPCs as interesting as you do.

Addendum: Unless, of course, they are a minor NPC you spent five minutes creating who has no backstory and no distinguishing characteristics. Then they will be fascinated by them.

[Telok]

Rule 1954: If your DM has brought a Godzilla toy with them to serve as a miniature this session, you're probably screwed.

Rule MechaGodzilla: If the DM brings a Godzilla butane lighter with him fear for the dice or the minis. If the eyes light up and there's a sound effect when it turns on you should fear for your character sheet.


Which reminds me, I need to pull mine apart and find out what kind of battery it takes. I might as well pivk up some more butane while I'm at it, almost out of that too.

[Rater202]

*If he brings out Godzilla, MechaGodzilla, King Ghidora, Mothra, and Gigan figures, he;s probably just a collector.
**On the other hand, if they're to the same scale as the things you're using for minis, you're f***ed.

[Raven777]

There is no stat more important than Constitution. It should be your second highest stat starting out, always. It's what's keeping you alive to be able to have actions to contribute to the game, it must be at 14, at the very least. It matters little what race/class you play, Constitution is vital.

:smallcool:

Exception-Shmexception) Unless you plan to ascend to unlife in a Pathfinder campaign, where the undead have their Hit Points and Fortitude fueled by Charisma. If so, crank up that mojo and rock on like a rock star.

[Curmudgeon]

There is no stat more important than Constitution. It should be your second highest stat starting out, always. It's what's keeping you alive to be able to have actions to contribute to the game, it must be at 14, at the very least. It matters little what race/class you play, Constitution is vital.
Well, no. Constitution is vital only if you're going to take damage. I use it as a dump stat, because I design my characters to not get hit. Start by learning how not to be seen (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_Not_to_Be_Seen); then (if you survive the course) we can begin, grasshopper.

[Theomniadept]

6.02*10^23). Banning sourcebooks doesn't limit the players' power, it only limits available toys the players may want to play with. Banning everything outside core will teach you as a DM to respect Wizard, Druid, and Cleric and reinstate that nice complicated-but-imperfect build the players wanted to play.

[Telok]

*If he brings out Godzilla, MechaGodzilla, King Ghidora, Mothra, and Gigan figures, he;s probably just a collector.
**On the other hand, if they're to the same scale as the things you're using for minis, you're f***ed.

Well my 'zillas are generally about five inches high. That puts them at the 25 foot tall T-rex scale of things when compared to other minis.

Or I could pull out the six foot tall inflatable 'zilla.

Rule of BIG: If the DM has to change the creature size categories to a logrithmic scale because "I needed to fit something big into this encounter"... You've gone awesome.

[Endarire]

"Violence solves everything. Magic solves everything. Money solves everything." -'Trinden's Trinity', created by Trinden Felsad, Dragonborn Orc Crusader

[nedz]

Rule NAFT: If you are a DM, your players will never find your NPCs as interesting as you do.

Addendum: Unless, of course, they are a minor NPC you spent five minutes creating who has no backstory and no distinguishing characteristics. Then they will be fascinated by them.

Not quite, the NPC Paradox is

If you create an NPC designed to have an interesting conversation with the PCs, they will sneak up and kill them before they can even speak; on the other hand NPCs you create simply as combat fodder, will be engaged in conversation. Your players will then complain that your NPCs are boring.

[Inevitability]

**Don't try to figure out where the half-dragon half-troll half-vampire natural Weredeinonychus tuaric elf/owlbear came from. pondering it for more than a minute leads to madness.

(1.52≠1.52) Do try to figure it out, then mind control the parent(s) and have them breed an unstoppable army.

[LTwerewolf]

Not quite, the NPC Paradox is

If you create an NPC designed to have an interesting conversation with the PCs, they will sneak up and kill them before they can even speak; on the other hand NPCs you create simply as combat fodder, will be engaged in conversation. Your players will then complain that your NPCs are boring.

I didn't get the complaint that my npc's were boring, but a random encounter was captured and subsequently turned into an entire story arc. The actual Npc they were supposed to talk to was wholly ignored.

[Lightlawbliss]

Not quite, the NPC Paradox is

If you create an NPC designed to have an interesting conversation with the PCs, they will sneak up and kill them before they can even speak; on the other hand NPCs you create simply as combat fodder, will be engaged in conversation. Your players will then complain that your NPCs are boring.

Ya... I've learned to have my Quest givers prepare a map to the quest location in advance. That way, there is a chance that they will go kill the dungeon I already rolled loot for intead of going off and killing some random villagers and forcing ANOTHER fight with the guards.

[Raven777]

2001 Space Odyssey) If there's a lock, try the hinges.
Aerith dies) If there are no hinges, try the wall itself. An adamantium door is useless when you can earth glide through the stone walls.

[atemu1234]

2001 Space Odyssey) If there's a lock, try the hinges.
Aerith dies) If there are no hinges, try the wall itself. An adamantium door is useless when you can earth glide through the stone walls.

*If you teleport through an entire dungeon, you are a jerk.
**Yes, even then.

[Raven777]

*** Except if the dungeon consists entirely of a gauntlet of riddle opened doors. Then you are doing everyone a favor.

[atemu1234]

*** Except if the dungeon consists entirely of a gauntlet of riddle opened doors. Then you are doing everyone a favor.

****We already covered riddles are bull.

[Lightlawbliss]

-1!) being a jerk is not the best answer to somebody being a jerk.
-1!a) unless it is

[Raven777]

***** q.e.d.

[nedz]

I didn't get the complaint that my npc's were boring, but a random encounter was captured and subsequently turned into an entire story arc. The actual Npc they were supposed to talk to was wholly ignored.

I had this happen for almost half of an entire campaign, the complaint came towards the end — long after I had become resigned to it happening.

[Svata]

*If you teleport through an entire dungeon, you are a jerk.
**Yes, even then.


*** Except if the dungeon consists entirely of a gauntlet of riddle opened doors. Then you are doing everyone a favor.

Or if the party ended up in the tomb of horrors without intending to go anyhere near it.

[ramrod]

Rule xyz: always read what skills actually do. Some of them are a lot more useful than you might think..

Rule xyz +1 : if your dm allows cheese and power gaming, know your stuff. They are going to be throwing all kinds of tosh your way to balance the field.

Rule xyz +2 Always plan a way for the party to move stealthily as a group. Numerous parties have been tpk d executing a perfect tactic because the fat ass cleric in full plate failed it's move silent roll enough for deaf headless chickens to be alerted in the next valley.

Rule xyz +3 DMs should always allow the 'rule of cool' if something can be done and would be awesome. Let the player roll for it. Most of my most memorable playing encounters are rule of cools. .. my most recent involved teleporting onto the back of a black dragon and riding rodeo style until it flew off half out of sheer embarrassment.

Finally.... always talk to npcs and ask any relevant information. Players in my group frustrate me by just moseying through everything and relying on the npcs to blurt out relevant facts at opportune moments.

[Anlashok]

76) Watch your players' reaction to things you think are awesome, because they might disagree. The line between badass recurring character and annoying-as-**** pet NPC is thinner than you think.

[Razanir]

e^πi) Beware kobolds.
Å) Prestidigitation is minor wish.
Ẁ) If there's a perfectly black circle, it's probably a sphere of annihilation.

[Raven777]

ẀẀ) Feel free to find a way to use it as a portable trash can.

[Rater202]

If the GM insists on "relalism" by making you stop to eat and drink, one Ring of Sustenance, one ring of regeneration, one decanter of endless water, enough water skins/canteens for the entire party, and a fat cow are good investments to make.

Think about it.

[Blackhawk748]

e^πi) Beware kobolds.


XITHS) Also beware Goblins, as you DM may be aware of the "Goblin Equalizer" (Tip: "Quack")
Omega-Prime) Beware any monster being played intelligently, they may rip your face off.

[Novawurmson]

X^Y^Z) Your players will always be more entertained by the random NPC you added to a scene on a split-second whim than the character you spent months developing.

Edit: This was already covered. Suffice to say it happened fairly recently in our campaign.

[Jeff the Green]

X^Y^Z) Your players will always be more entertained by the random NPC you added to a scene on a split-second whim than the character you spent months developing.

Edit: This was already covered. Suffice to say it happened fairly recently in our campaign.

Rule λ) There is nothing new under the sun. :smalltongue:

[Raven777]

™) Every post is a repost Every plot has been done before.

[ramrod]

1.1.2b Not everyone in the party needs to invest in a handy haversack. If your DM will allow when you come to spend that wealth by level when creating a new character ensure that you do not double up on items, but also that you do not miss critical items. Did someone forget to buy a wand of CLW?

(I am currently playing a campaign where it soon became apparent that there was not a single bladed weapon or even butter knife between us... cutting ropes, a simple task ended up becoming a lot more complicated than we thought).

99.3.1x If you optimise, so will the DM... his numbers can always be bigger than yours!

55b - One trick ponies belong in the knacker's yard (or deserve to be shot if it is a powerful one trick). Don't overspecialise.


1.2.500x - Do not buy healing potions. They come as random loot fairly regularly and are a totally ineffective way of spending actions in encounters. The only use for them is in a water skin strapped to your chest/around your neck for quick recovery when you go down and you need bringing back to consciousness mid fight.

123.2421.b Everyone should put at least one point into tumble. Oh how many times has it saved someone's behind when you are in deeper than you feel comfortable?


564.c Always bring snacks to a gaming session. Always share. People get hungry sat watching you dig through a bag of doritos like there are diamonds at the bottom. It is also polite given the effort that your DM (if they are good) has put into preparing the game (for those of you who have not DMd before, it takes many many hours, especially if it is a handcrafted adventure. I have spent 10-15 hours crafting a town, drawing it, drawing maps, creating NPCs for a party to wander in, visit and NPC and walk right out again).

54 - Always carry cure disease unless you want to end up very poorly... or pregnant http://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/Pregnancy_(3.5e_Disease)

69 (ha) - Luck stones or anything that allows for an ultra emergency reroll are beautiful things and should always be carried. Why buy a +4 Splitting Longbow if you are going to get narnered on your first trip out. Disintegrate is a very real thing.

765ac - Don't assume that you can use other people's dice. Lots of gamers are unnecessarily finicky about people touching their dice. I know because I am one of them, a little piece of me dies every time someone touches my dice. Old habits die hard. I have invested a lot of money and love into my dice (they are expensive and I handmade a chainmail bag for them to go in) as a cover story to basically justify the same reaction that I would have over a 30p lump of plastic.

9945 - Don't become too attached to a character. It may almost certainly die at some point. I'm as guilty as the next person for this, I become heavily invested in characters that I have spend dozens of hours optimizing only for the heartwrenching pain of watching it die. Characters dying should be meaningful but also fun. Everyone else will poke fun and make backhand comments. My last character that died will be be raised, but is the butt of the jokes as being a gnome his corpses is handily small enough to be popped into the handy haversack.

100. Caltrops in a quick release bag on your belt makes for a great getaway device. Caltrops in general are cheap, fun and reusable awkwardness for the DM :)

[ramrod]

Rule number one... have fun, spread the word and be proud of what you do. I'm amazed at the number of people that 'have always wanted to play but not known how to'.

I've never known anyone to not enjoy the game. Even people that are not big on role play, power gaming or otherwise love the opportunity to sit around a table and have an excuse to chat to friends for prolonged periods of time :)

[Pathagaron]

α) For players: Not every fight is winnable. Sometimes running is the best option.

β) For DMs: If the players try to run from a losing fight, let them run.

β corollary) Of course, if they did something incredibly stupid to get themselves in over their heads, then you are fully justified in pursuing them.

[atemu1234]

α) For players: Not every fight is winnable. Sometimes running is the best option.

β) For DMs: If the players try to run from a losing fight, let them run.

β corollary) Of course, if they did something incredibly stupid to get themselves in over their heads, then you are fully justified in pursuing them.

Reminds me of the time the lawful good players going on a quest AT THE BEHEST OF A DEITY decided that when they met a gold dragon who WORSHIPED THE SAME GOD that it was there for them to kill and take its stuff. Luckily, I had the stats for a gold dragon with VoP sitting around...

[Jeff the Green]

™) Every post is a repost Every plot has been done before.

א) All of this has happened before, and all of it will happen again.

[Raven777]

א) All of this has happened before, and all of it will happen again.

å) The wheel of time turns, and ages come and pass, leaving memories that become legend. Legend fades to myth, and even myth is long forgotten when the age that gave it birth comes again.

[Gnome Alone]

å) The wheel of time turns, and ages come and pass, leaving memories that become legend. Legend fades to myth, and even myth is long forgotten when the age that gave it birth comes again.

_)_) "When the universe was formed in the crucible of the big bang, our mighty race was already seventeen years old."

[Jeff the Green]

_)_) "When the universe was formed in the crucible of the big bang, our mighty race was already seventeen years old."

()* History is a cyclic poem written by time upon the memories of man

*Yes, that's "rule number open parenthesis"

[Rater202]

א) All of this has happened before, and all of it will happen again.


å) The wheel of time turns, and ages come and pass, leaving memories that become legend. Legend fades to myth, and even myth is long forgotten when the age that gave it birth comes again.

XYZ Summon Number 100: on the other hoof, a sufficient act of unadulterated awesome can alter the course of history to such a degree as to permanatly destroy the cycle of recursive history.

An example of this being the formation of Chou Tengen Toppa Guren Lagaan, as well as any halfway decent game of exalted past essence 6.

[Jeff the Green]

Rule Stoner: Dude! What if like, the universe were a sphere, but not just space, man. What if time just went around and around just like a record player. And like, if you play The Wizard of Oz at the same time it, like, matches up. You gonna eat that?

[Yael]

¥ > $) Everything you might see in TV may be done in a D&D campaign.

[Azoth]

Respect each other's roles in the party and the character for them, lest they be turned on you.

Always have a contingency plan to take down your party members without killing them. (Use this if they end up under enemy mind control)

Have a backup plan on how to kill them in case the first plan fails.

Invest in mundane ways to accomplish things that magic can do. (Permiter alarm, disabling locks/traps, ect)

[Inevitability]

E=mc2: A bag of holding can transport people for short periods of time. Know this, abuse this, and make your DM go mad for ever giving you those.

E≠mc2: Combine with Hoard Gullet for more fun. You may look like a powerless, naked, old, chained prisoner... until you vomit out sixty gift-wrapped barbarians!

E=m=c=2: A bag of holding is also a great way to dispose of anything you may not like. Why kill the lich you just got down when you can dump him in a Bag of Holding, destroy the bag and be done with it? No need to go on a separate sidequest just to destroy his phylactery.

[Gnome Alone]

Respect each other's roles in the party and the character for them, lest they be turned on you.

Always have a contingency plan to take down your party members without killing them. (Use this if they end up under enemy mind control)

Have a backup plan on how to kill them in case the first plan fails.

Invest in mundane ways to accomplish things that magic can do. (Permiter alarm, disabling locks/traps, ect)

Hmm, mundane perimeter alarm... does it go "woof, woof"?

[Azoth]

Hmm, mundane perimeter alarm... does it go "woof, woof"?

No it jingles

[Venger]

rule ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): beware the stormwind fallacy from both directions.

[atemu1234]

E=mc2: A bag of holding can transport people for short periods of time. Know this, abuse this, and make your DM go mad for ever giving you those.

E≠mc2: Combine with Hoard Gullet for more fun. You may look like a powerless, naked, old, chained prisoner... until you vomit out sixty gift-wrapped barbarians!

E=m=c=2: A bag of holding is also a great way to dispose of anything you may not like. Why kill the lich you just got down when you can dump him in a Bag of Holding, destroy the bag and be done with it? No need to go on a separate sidequest just to destroy his phylactery.

I'm pretty sure that the third one doesn't work. Doesn't that just count as him dying, so he regenerates as per usual?

[Lightlawbliss]

I'm pretty sure that the third one doesn't work. Doesn't that just count as him dying, so he regenerates as per usual?

I believe you are correct.

[Inevitability]

I'm pretty sure that the third one doesn't work. Doesn't that just count as him dying, so he regenerates as per usual?


If the bag is overloaded, or if sharp objects pierce it (from inside or outside), the bag ruptures and is ruined. All contents are lost forever.

I am pretty sure 'regenerates and happily returns' doesn't mix with 'lost forever'. At the most, the lich becomes a vestige (and that's pushing it).

[atemu1234]

I believe you are correct.

Funny, I think I'm correct too.

[Venger]

I am pretty sure 'regenerates and happily returns' doesn't mix with 'lost forever'. At the most, the lich becomes a vestige (and that's pushing it).

So that's what happened to Acererak

[Jeff the Green]

No it jingles

How did you teach your guard dog to ring a bell?

[OldTrees1]

How did you teach your guard dog to ring a bell?

The guard cat wears a silver bell. The guard dog wakes the cat up when it is afraid.

[JackRackham]

Unwritten rules, let's see:

PCs

Every problem can be solved with fire. If it can't be solved with fire, try it anyway. It's fun.

When starting level 3 or higher, someone should have a long list of mundane gear. You never know when the DM is going to decide that weather is interesting and those snow shoes will save your asp.

Wizards go 2nd to last in the marching order.

Never steal from the party wizard.

Paranoia is your friend.

Paranoia is the enemy.

Never make a character that, while mechanically good, is no fun to play, or no fun for others to play with (summoners, necromancers, trip-builds, etc. Should be careful not to annoy everyone).

Think about what you're doing. Plot, scheme and plan. But not too much. And when **** hits the fan, wing it (with fire).

Solve problems as though they're real-life situations.

Let the batman wizard go first.

Let the rogue go first.

Heavy damage-dealers should go last or 2nd-to-last.

Kill things in one round. Always attack the thing closest to death first. Action economy is paramount.

Look for something interesting in the world you're in. Take time to look and ask questions.

DMs

Fire is not the solution to every problem.

Let the PCs solve the problem their way

Let the PCs shine 1/2 the time. But frustrate them often enough to keep them hungry/wary.

A comfortable, satisfied, successful PC is a soon-to-be-bored PC. They need ambitions that are still unfulfilled.

Hallways need to be 10+ft wide unless there's a specific reason to bottle-neck the PCs.
-only bottle-neck the PCs once in a while.

PCs should have a reason not to know anything about the game world, unless the players are the type to take a sincere interest in the world.

Build at least 1/4 of the encounters such that you have no idea how the PCs will solve them. Like, don't even try to think of the solution. That's the PCs' job. Focus on creating an interesting challenge.

[Gnome Alone]

I get that summoners and necromancers involve a lot of waiting for your stupid pets' extra turns to be over, but are trip-build guys really that un-fun to play with?

[JackRackham]

They can be. A guy I DM'd for had a trip build (lock-down build) that (eventually) gave him AoOs anytime anything did or didn't happen, basically (we've all seen variations of this). Each AoO was used to trip and each trip gave him a free attack (at least one). He had a turn that went quickly enough, but he seemed to have extra turns any time anyone did anything. And it was all very grid-intensive, strategic, and involved a lot of modifiers, so it slowed combat to a crawl.

It really can get to be like having a bunch of summons or something in terms of slowing the pace of play.

EDIT: That said, the guy was pretty good about things. I only got tedious a few times, as the build got progressively crazy, really.

[Jormengand]

ln(i): It's called "Theoretical optimisation" for a reason.

[Necroticplague]

Rule 413: Yes, it is a good idea to have some of your crunch reflected in your backstory. However, everybody should have a personality beyond just their crunch. An easy way to do this is to give them interesting quirks.
-subrule A: If you're backstory is nothing but you justifying implausibly coincidental powers, you might wanna think about fleshing out who they are some more.

[Honest Tiefling]

Know what geeky media your DM likes. If they tend to play lawful evil (or admire Lex Luthor...), killing all politicians will probably save the day and get some loot...Eventually. If they're a Star Trek fan, ask which captain is the best before deciding that they'll be okay with plans of questionable morality. (And if they say Kirk, plan 'Seduce All Female Villains' is a go). If a character is suspiciously like a character they really enjoy, kill it. Its either a villain or an annoying DMPC, either way, free loot! And they'll probably take a few plot lines from these stories, so always lie about what you are familiar with.

[malonkey1]

Know what geeky media your DM likes. If they tend to play lawful evil (or admire Lex Luthor...), killing all politicians will probably save the day and get some loot...Eventually. If they're a Star Trek fan, ask which captain is the best before deciding that they'll be okay with plans of questionable morality. (And if they say Kirk, plan 'Seduce All Female Villains' is a go). If a character is suspiciously like a character they really enjoy, kill it. Its either a villain or an annoying DMPC, either way, free loot! And they'll probably take a few plot lines from these stories, so always lie about what you are familiar with.

Addendum: Make sure they're not aware of how well you know their media tastes, or that Lex Luthor you killed may have been "Red Son"'s Lex Luthor, and Communist Superman is about to turn your tuches to turf.

[Val666]

As a player, always watch you butt

[kreenlover]

e^i(pi) ) When DMing, make sure to keep your poker face on. Letting the players know what is coming is bad.
Addendum I) Letting your poker face slip on purpose can give the players a nice bit of paranoia
Addendum II) Being really smiley and cheery and suddenly dropping into poker face can scare your players as much as the words 'roll for initiative' or 'roll perception' can
Addendum III) If you say 'Roll Initiative' or 'Roll Perception', no matter the outcome, keep your poker face. Grinning if the players do badly, or frowning if they do well (or vice versa) can give them the idea that you are either on their side, or against them. Optimally you want them to see you as a benign arbiter with an occasional sadistic streak.

[Jeff the Green]

ټ) As DM, you should occasionally roll a d20 for no particular reason, look at it, and put on a grave face.
ق) Likewise, come with a printed list of d20 results that you can use when you need to make a secret roll.

[Yael]

�¶) For DMs There is always a bigger one.

��¶) For PCs There is always a bigger one.

[Curmudgeon]

Don't put a lot of effort into writing your back story. Your DM is never going to read it, and it's never going to matter. You don't get to be the rightful heir to a kingdom, kept from your destiny by Evil.

The DM creates and runs the world. Players don't get to co-opt that big part of their fun.

[Yael]

Don't put a lot of effort into writing your back story. Your DM is never going to read it, and it's never going to matter. You don't get to be the rightful heir to a kingdom, kept from your destiny by Evil.

The DM creates and runs the world. Players don't get to co-opt that big part of their fun.

While I agree in pretty much everything, I must raise an objection (http://objection.mrdictionary.net/go.php?n=7578422).

[ekarney]

Less of a rule, more of a very important tip.

If you're playing a Wizard and fear your spellbook may be stolen, consider implementing the following personality traits into your character.
-Paranoid of the other party members.
-Over protective of your spellbook
And have a back up spell book filled with blaster spells.

It'll make the DM consider whether implementing a cliche plot twist is worth a TPK.

AXX-142) IF you're summoning things make sure you have the creature's sheet ready and on hand. I don't care if the information age means you can find the stats of your badger on your phone, if I can't see the sheet in 6 seconds, then the creature doesn't exist. Same deal for all spells.

AXX-143) Players: If you have a new DM who hasn't discovered RHD don't play a Minotaur Barbarian 1/Runscarred Barbarian 2, if the rest of the part is only HD 3 - 5.

AXX-143, part II) As an extension, don't make characters to spite the DM.

AXX-144) DM's, for the love of all that is holy and good, let players create and manage their cohorts and followers. Otherwise you'll find yourself having to build 2407 different characters because the player's keep using them to see if traps reset, until you make the one they were looking for.

AXX-145) Optimizers, never show the DM how you plan to progress your class until it's been progressed to that point. Or you've completely finalized it.

AXX-146) Non-optimizers, before implementing your fantastic idea for a Goblin Dread Necromancer show it to the party Munchkin. They know how to make the idea effective in combat as well as your warped backstory.
Seriously, it might sound enticing to have your goblin DN resurrect his dead tribe to avenge them and forcibly work for him because he's an unlikable guy, it's better to be useful.

[Akolbi]

mimic) Always check the chest. It may want to kill you.

[Lightlawbliss]

rule DNE) If you can hide and move silently, use it to let the enemy think your 5 man group is a 4 man group. Don't underestimate the value of the enemy thinking there are fewer greedy mass-murderers running around the dungeon then there actually are.

rule really DNE) There is a time and a place for breaking down the door or blowing your enemies to kingdom come. It tends to involve not wanting to act in the surprise round for the next few minutes and/or wanting to be ambushed in a really bad (for you) location.

[ramrod]

rule DNE) If you can hide and move silently, use it to let the enemy think your 5 man group is a 4 man group. Don't underestimate the value of the enemy thinking there are fewer greedy mass-murderers running around the dungeon then there actually are.

I use this one all of the time. My swordsage at level 5 had a hide/move silent bonus of +23 with the ability to be invisible/silence at will. No one but the party would know of the 5th party member unless it was necessary :) Plus if the DM turns a seemingly social encounter into 'roll initiative' you are already ready and can have a prepared action.

[Honest Tiefling]

While I agree in pretty much everything, I must raise an objection (http://objection.mrdictionary.net/go.php?n=7578422).

To be fair, the best way to take flaws I have found is to hide them in a 5 page back story, preferably near the end. Then they'll never come up and if they don't come up, you can give your DM an unimpressed look.

[dascarletm]

a: Except for Mario!

Rule AK-47: If your DM is making you role a lot of survival checks to keep you from getting lost, remember: all you need is one good intelligence check to invent the compass.


Rule HK-47 needing survival is for Meatbags, and should be ignored.

[Gnome Alone]

Don't put a lot of effort into writing your back story. Your DM is never going to read it, and it's never going to matter. You don't get to be the rightful heir to a kingdom, kept from your destiny by Evil.

The DM creates and runs the world. Players don't get to co-opt that big part of their fun.

One of my favorite things I've ever read on here was someone complaining about not getting to work "being part of the royal family" into their backstory, and someone else responding, "as far as restrictions go, 'no, you can't be the king' isn't the craziest one I've ever heard."

Or some such thing; I am paraphrasing because I am Chaotic Lazy.

[Honest Tiefling]

Personally, I would think that any player who worked that in to a backstory and was surprised at the army of assassins coming after them sorta had it coming...After all, you NEVER write a backstory that gives the DM extra ammunition.

[Jeff the Green]

Personally, I would think that any player who worked that in to a backstory and was surprised at the army of assassins coming after them sorta had it coming...After all, you NEVER write a backstory that gives the DM extra ammunition.

What? Of course you do. Not having people cares about protecting is bizarre. Plus, it's often more interesting to have side-plots your character has to go on to rescue their family or friends. The character I'm working on has living parents, a living mentor, an ex-girlfriend (whom she doesn't get along with), a son with that girlfriend, and is friendly with a number of scholars and contacts. And all the baggage and vulnerability that comes from that

[Magma Armor0]

Less of a rule, more of a very important tip.

If you're playing a Wizard and fear your spellbook may be stolen, consider implementing the following personality traits into your character.
-Paranoid of the other party members.
-Over protective of your spellbook
And have a back up spell book filled with blaster spells.

It'll make the DM consider whether implementing a cliche plot twist is worth a TPK.

Addendum: also consider writing EXPLOSIVE RUNES on every odd-numbered page. Just in case.

[Pex]

Rule googol: Always question the sanity of your party members.

Rule googolplex: Always question the identity of your party members.

Rule infinity: Do not be attached to your weapon. If a better weapon comes along, use it.

Rule aleph one: If your character notices anything strange, unusual, odd, or otherwise noteworthy for the DM to mention, especially while on watch, inform your party members immediately.

Rule divided by zero: If an npc you have never met before comes before you acting as your best friend in the whole wide multiverse offering you the exact item or information you have been looking for, do not trust that npc at all for anything.

[Sith_Happens]

I thought it was a Sphere of Annihilation in The Well of the Worlds?

I'm disappointed how few people know that trick.:smallamused:

* There is no problem that cannot be solved by having sufficient quantities of Shapesand, Marvelous Pigments, and creativity.

* "Surprising" a player by having their character get pregnant is never a good idea. No, not even then.

* Everything is loot if you're resourceful enough.

* Kender are to be killed on sight, no exceptions.

* Never operate a button, switch, lever, or similar device without knowing exactly what it does.

* Healing items are your friends; every Cure that the party Cleric casts is an actual spell that they then can't.

* Oozes aren't monsters, they're environmental hazards.

* The Monk class has two levels.

[Inevitability]

Rule [DATA EXPUNGED]: If a room contains a big, leering monster that looks intimidating but isn't attacking, it's an illusion. The real threat is either invisible or attacking you from behind.

[ekarney]

Addendum: also consider writing EXPLOSIVE RUNES on every odd-numbered page. Just in case.

This is the greatest idea ever, I am definitely going to do this.

Mean's it's going to take 72 hours at the moment to write down a spell, but when the DM tries to steal my spellbook he'll have a hell of a time with it.

[Pex]

Rock & Rule: Unicorns are bad omens. If your party encounters one something really bad is going to happen next game scene. Always. Every time. Any DM. Any campaign. Any edition. Without fail. Yes, even then.

[malonkey1]

Rock & Rule: Unicorns are bad omens. If your party encounters one something really bad is going to happen next game scene. Always. Every time. Any DM. Any campaign. Any edition. Without fail. Yes, even then.

Addendum: This will either not apply at all, or apply many times over, if somebody in your party has a unicorn companion. There is no middle ground.

[Inevitability]

Rock & Rule: Unicorns are bad omens. If your party encounters one something really bad is going to happen next game scene. Always. Every time. Any DM. Any campaign. Any edition. Without fail. Yes, even then.

In a 5e game I played, the chaos sorcerer accidentally summoned an unicorn, which proceeded to attack the warrior said sorcerer was fighting. No problem, right? Well, except that it was a NON-LETAL DUEL, so that sorcerer had a lot to explain.

First thing I thought of when I saw this.

[illyahr]

I'm disappointed how few people know that trick.:smallamused:

To be fair, it's mentioned in a fairly obscure book that many may not have read. I make a note to learn as many world-ending tricks as possible, though. :smalltongue:

*Never make back-stories for NPC's until the Players show interest. This will save you headaches in the long run.

[kreenlover]

*Never make back-stories for NPC's until the Players show interest. This will save you headaches in the long run.

Addendum: When DMing always have three or four generic NPC backstories on hand. Combat stats might also be useful. If players start digging you do not want to be scrambling to improvise one.


Addendum a: Scrambling to improvise a backstory leads to some of the most memorable characters.

Addendum b: Generic elements, or a table of backstory bits that can be mixed-and-matched can fill this role quite well.


Addendum b I: If you use the table, make sure to note when you've used an element for an NPC. If every NPC the players meet had their mentor's murdered by the Arch-duke of Gorblaven, yet they want to swear a vow of non-violence and so need the PCs to find them a certain scroll, the players will start to get suspicious.



Addendum b I 1: Alternatively this scenario can make for a great plot. Why are all the NPCs suddenly the same person?

Addendum c: The same can be said for descriptions. NPC descriptions are always useful.

[rgrekejin]

Don't put a lot of effort into writing your back story. Your DM is never going to read it, and it's never going to matter.

To be fair, this has been the exact opposite of my experience. Of the 4 DMs I've played with, 3 made certain to work aspects of people's backstories into the campaign fairly regularly, including one who used a random bit of fluff I inserted to explain why my centuries-old elven warlock looked like a child as the primary motivating factor for the Big Bad's interest in us.

[LTwerewolf]

To be fair, this has been the exact opposite of my experience. Of the 4 DMs I've played with, 3 made certain to work aspects of people's backstories into the campaign fairly regularly, including one who used a random bit of fluff I inserted to explain why my centuries-old elven warlock looked like a child as the primary motivating factor for the Big Bad's interest in us.

I've found that this point tends to be wholly based upon how comfortable the group is with each other. With a new group of people that haven't ever played with each other before, the dm probably isn't going to cater to backstories. With an established group, the dm gets the backstory beforehand, and the players know the dm's style enough to have an idea of what to go with, sometimes even reusing the same world that everyone has become comfortable with.

[Mystia]

-snip about trippers-

I must concur to your statements. I actually have one player doing this on my ongoing campaign... It's somewhat annoying and I feel that it's progressively getting worse. At ECL 5 his trip modifier is already massive, and I shudder to imagine higher levels...
... however, when the time comes, everything I'll throw in that guy's range will be Warblades, Elocaters, oozes and magically flying enemies :smalltongue:

Echo) Always use summons to scout ahead in dungeons.
a) Unless you don't want the DM to hate you.

Foxtrot) Never look upon your reflection on mirrors you may find in dungeons.
I) Do, however, send in four weak summons to look upon their reflections. Afterwards, take it with you and sell it later.
II) If it's affixed to the wall, take the wall with you. Trust me, it's worth the trouble.
III) If it cannot be taken with you anyhow, cover its surface with paint or the likes, deal with the dungeon creatures, then find a way to take it with you.

[Venger]

I must concur to your statements. I actually have one player doing this on my ongoing campaign... It's somewhat annoying and I feel that it's progressively getting worse. At ECL 5 his trip modifier is already massive, and I shudder to imagine higher levels...
... however, when the time comes, everything I'll throw in that guy's range will be Warblades, Elocaters, oozes and magically flying enemies :smalltongue:

yeah! that'll teach him to think mundanes are allowed to have nice things. :smalltongue:

casters are the only ones who are allowed to have any options, after all

[Kazyan]

Step 1) Build a melee character with exactly one trick.
Step 2) Complain that melee can't have nice things when your one trick doesn't work.
Step 3) ???
Step 4) Balance!

[Krobar]

If you're adventuring through a dungeon infested with demons and undead and you come across a banquet hall with all sorts of food and drink laid out... DO NOT EAT OR DRINK ANYTHING!

[Venger]

rule P)if you see a murky, scummy pool of water, don't go in. there's an aboleth
rule ~P)if you see a crystal clear pool of water, don't go in. there's an aboleth

[atemu1234]

rule P)if you see a murky, scummy pool of water, don't go in. there's an aboleth
rule ~P)if you see a crystal clear pool of water, don't go in. there's an aboleth

Addendum: Possibly a heavily templated one, at that.
Addendum 2: Especially if you wear heavy armor and have no ranks in swim.

[Inevitability]

Rule 6EQUJ5: All treasure visible upon entering a room is either cursed, an illusion, a shapechanger, or all of the above.

[atemu1234]

Rule 6EQUJ5: All treasure visible upon entering a room is either cursed, an illusion, a shapechanger, or all of the above.

Addendum: Or coated in contact poison.

[Venger]

Addendum: Possibly a heavily templated one, at that.
Addendum 2: Especially if you wear heavy armor and have no ranks in swim.

You can put ranks in swim?

[Mystia]

yeah! that'll teach him to think mundanes are allowed to have nice things. :smalltongue:

casters are the only ones who are allowed to have any options, after all

Yes, that certainly will! How does he dare to think he could ever compare to his caster overlords? :smallbiggrin: :smallbiggrin:

On a more serious note, I don't make things too hard for mundanes, not as much as I do for the casters... umm, I just realized I may have made it sound like I wanted to take away his fun, sorry for that.
T-that party as a whole puts me in a complicated situation though, to be honest. It's a 6-player-raid, there's lockman there, one blaster wizard/sorcerer (future incantatrix), one god wizard, one divine gish ubercharger (full CL), one warlock gish (future hellfire warlock), and a barbarian ubercharger. If I don't know exactly what to throw against them, all encounters end on the first round.
Just like rule 99.3.1x said, when the players optimize, so does the DM. :smalltongue:
Edit: overall typos and adding up!

[Venger]

Yes, that certainly will! How does he dare to think he could ever compare to his caster overlords? :smallbiggrin: :smallbiggrin:

On a more serious note, I don't make things too hard for mundanes, not as much as I do for the casters...
t-that party as a whole puts me in a complicated situation, to be honest. It's a 6-player-raid, there's lockman there, one blaster wizard/sorcerer (future incantatrix), one god wizard, one divine gish ubercharger (full CL), one warlock gish (future hellfire warlock), and a barbarian ubercharger. If I don't know exactly what to throw against them, all encounters end on the first round.
Just like rule 99.3.1x said, when the players optimize, so does the DM. :smalltongue:

well, on a serious note (cuz, it'd be hard to sarcastically give this advice, double negatives would get tricky)

the bane of an ubercharger (or charger-oid) is that he'll bull straight at an enemy and killitquick or be wholly impotent.

traditional ways of bypassing this run into the frenzied berserker arms race problem (marbles, grease, flight, etc) and ways of bypassing it (flight, elocater, etc) merely take a step back.

however, you're not precisely in that boat.

what I'd advise is making use of more complicated terrain if your maps are mostly flat featureless planes. difficult terrain, hills, pits, wells, etc. any of the "setting" books of eberron have some handy maps to either plunder or be inspired by (I like "secrets of xen'drik" for this since the climate's so diverse, it has sample maps for almost any environ/setting.)

once you do that, you can encourage the party brutes to try dealing with it via flight, nimble charge skilltricks and such. that way they'll be able to charge less often, but they won't be rendered 100% ineffective.

or, y'know, throw encounters of multiple mobs at them instead of one big boss, so even if each of their attacks ends in a kill, they won't be able to wrap the encounter singlehandedly, since charger types usually can't affect more than one guy at a time. that way they keep getting to do what they enjoy doing with their characters but your encounters aren't ruined.

[ninjamaster1991]

* There is no problem that cannot be solved by having sufficient quantities of Shapesand, Marvelous Pigments, and creativity.
** Corollary: Summon Monster spells are optional, but they help a lot.

*If at all possible, avoid harming loot.
**Anything with the words "gold", "silver", "gemstones", or "precious" in the description, unless it's a dragon or summon, is also loot.
**Dragons are always loot.
*Never leave loot behind, unless it costs more to take it home than the loot's worth.

[Lightlawbliss]

...
*Never leave loot behind, unless it costs more to take it home than the loot's worth.
** If you regularly encounter this problem, you need to invest more in loot gathering/transporting

[Raven777]

** Corollary: Summon Monster spells are optional, but they help a lot.

*If at all possible, avoid harming loot.
**Anything with the words "gold", "silver", "gemstones", or "precious" in the description, unless it's a dragon or summon, is also loot.
**Dragons are always loot.
*Never leave loot behind, unless it costs more to take it home than the loot's worth.

How do you loot the dragon if you cannot harm it?

[Venger]

How do you loot the dragon if you cannot harm it?

shivering touch.

[Rater202]

**Dragons are always loot.corollary: Friendly dragons that can be convinced to join you are loot while alive.

Otherwise, they're loot while dead.

Dragonhide armor can make full plate and similar armors without metal(useful to druids), dragons blood can be sold as optional spell components/alchemical reagents/ enchantment materials/snake oil. Teeth and bones can be made into weapons, and I'm pretty sure there's a foody/jaded aristocrat/glutton/some combination of the above with the will and cash to pa out the nose for the flesh or organ meats of a dragon out there somewhere

[Honest Tiefling]

I think a matching set of dragonhide luggage should give an intimidation bonus in many cases.

[Mystia]

-snip-

(no worries, I agree that it'd certainly be hard :smalltongue:)
You're actually quite spot on at guessing that my maps mostly don't feature difficult terrain! I think I only did it.. once or twice, at best. Also, my main weakness is, without doubt, being too fond of having a couple tough baddies in encounters rather than more not-so-tough ones... I'll try to use that more often as well, I'm sure my players will never disapprove of murdering more things :smallbiggrin:.
Thank you quite much for the advice, I'll certainly put it to good use! Usually I only dealt with the chargers by making them cautious of enemies wielding spears, but those are awesome options to have at hand. I'll surely look up for that Eberron book, I must confess I do have a bit of trouble drawing up a combat map with more detailed features.

Ah, and contributing again:
1984) Never trust little girl npcs.
a) Actually, just never trust children npcs.

[Lightlawbliss]

corollary: Friendly dragons that can be convinced to join you are loot while alive.

Otherwise, they're loot while dead.

Dragonhide armor can make full plate and similar armors without metal(useful to druids), dragons blood can be sold as optional spell components/alchemical reagents/ enchantment materials/snake oil. Teeth and bones can be made into weapons, and I'm pretty sure there's a foody/jaded aristocrat/glutton/some combination of the above with the will and cash to pa out the nose for the flesh or organ meats of a dragon out there somewhere

aren't organs also an optional component? (I may be thinking 2nd ed with this)

[SimonMoon6]

*If you teleport through an entire dungeon, you are a jerk.
**Yes, even then.

Addendum: If you expect to run the same sorts of plots for medium-level (or even high-level) characters as you would for low-level characters, you're doing it wrong. Players gain new abilities as they increase in level and must be allowed to use those abilities.

* If you have a party with characters who can teleport, don't expect them to walk through the forest to get to the dungeon or you're doing it wrong.
* Don't expect them not to teleport through the dungeon or you're doing it wrong.
* You can put in a large number of unique homebrew teleport-stoppers. But if you do, you're doing it wrong. Let them teleport. Just don't forget the badguys can teleport too. And they can teleport into the midst of the party while they're resting to regain spells.

Corollary: Not every adventure has to be a dungeon. Not every adventure should be a dungeon.

* The only difference between a dungeon and a railroad is that the dungeon has doors. Remember that and don't think you're giving players any freedom when you send them into a dungeon. Don't assume that they will *think* you're giving them freedom when you send them into a dungeon.
** especially if they can't get through the final door before going through all the lesser doors first.

[Rater202]

aren't organs also an optional component? (I may be thinking 2nd ed with this)

I think the sense organs can be used to bolster divination spells, and I wouldn't be surprised if there isn't some dark immortality ritual that is more potent if the caster surgically replaces their haert with a dragons during the ritual.

[Venger]

aren't organs also an optional component? (I may be thinking 2nd ed with this)

as a general rule, it's not, as such in 3.x, the same way souls are for crafting. however, some spells require organs (absorb mind, chain of sorrow, etc) but they're just in your spell component pouch, not having a listed gp cost, so you don't need to worry about being all gross and harvesting them all the time.


(no worries, I agree that it'd certainly be hard :smalltongue:)
You're actually quite spot on at guessing that my maps mostly don't feature difficult terrain! I think I only did it.. once or twice, at best. Also, my main weakness is, without doubt, being too fond of having a couple tough baddies in encounters rather than more not-so-tough ones... I'll try to use that more often as well, I'm sure my players will never disapprove of murdering more things :smallbiggrin:.
Thank you quite much for the advice, I'll certainly put it to good use! Usually I only dealt with the chargers by making them cautious of enemies wielding spears, but those are awesome options to have at hand. I'll surely look up for that Eberron book, I must confess I do have a bit of trouble drawing up a combat map with more detailed features.

Thought so. Well, it doesn't have to be an either/or thing. It's a continuum, like most things in the game. So instead of having a Very Difficult boss on his own, maybe have a Challenging boss with a few Moderate henchmonsters scattered around him protecting him so the chargers can't (immediately) beat a clear path on the first turn. remember, you can't normally charge except in a straight line without taking some special options. if your party members haven't, maybe the enemies take advantage of this by not offering up the leader straight away. besides, cutting down a few appetizers before getting to the main monster is always fun for PCs, especially the type of player who likes to play charging brutes.

you're quite welcome. feel free to ask anytime. yeah, eberron's setting books are great for maps, and unlike with other things, players really don't notice so much if you use pregen maps. it saves a lot of time on aspects of the game people don't pay much attention to but are most timeconsuming to do on your own.

rule 34) if you're not comfortable with players flirting with your NPCs, just say so.

[ninjamaster1991]

as a general rule, it's not, as such in 3.x, the same way souls are for crafting. however, some spells require organs (absorb mind, chain of sorrow, etc) but they're just in your spell component pouch, not having a listed gp cost, so you don't need to worry about being all gross and harvesting them all the time.
Yeah, but those are generic brains. They can't be Resurrected, and they have to be worth less than 1gp.
Casting Gentle Repose on a dragon's brain (and its superhuman mental stats) would make it worth a lot more than 1gp to a mind flayer.

Which makes me wonder: Could a (large, old, valuable) dragon get paid to get killed, have all but a portion of its body get harvested, then Wished or True Resurrected back to life? Would it be possible to make a profit on it? At which age category?

Anyway:
*The DM is always out to get you.

[Honest Tiefling]

rule 34) if you're not comfortable with players flirting with your NPCs, just say so.

This also goes for trips to the brothels. If it is not your cup of tea, say so. If they persist, dump the neckbeard.

[Venger]

This also goes for trips to the brothels. If it is not your cup of tea, say so. If they persist, dump the neckbeard.

“But I don’t want to go among neckbeards," the DM remarked.
"Oh, you can’t help that," said the player: "we’re all neckbeards here. I’m a neckbeard. You’re a neckbeard."
"How do you know I’m a neckbeard?" said the DM.
"You must be," said the player, "or you wouldn’t have come here.”

[Honest Tiefling]

Even amongst the neckbeards, there are those who reign supreme. Never play with a neckbeardier neckbeard then yourself.

[Venger]

Even amongst the neckbeards, there are those who reign supreme. Never play with a neckbeardier neckbeard then yourself.

yeah, I know, just having a bit of fun. I agree with you (obvs, due to my comment)

speaking of neckbeards:

rule 1982) let players play with gnomish quickrazors if they care enough to invest resources into them. the investment demanded is high enough that they're not gonna break any games.

[Arbane]

Which makes me wonder: Could a (large, old, valuable) dragon get paid to get killed, have all but a portion of its body get harvested, then Wished or True Resurrected back to life? Would it be possible to make a profit on it? At which age category?


I suspect any dragon non-paranoid enough to allow such a scheme would never have reached a high age category.

[georgie_leech]

I suspect any dragon non-paranoid enough to allow such a scheme would never have reached a high age category.

Needs more Craft Contingency.

[Honest Tiefling]

Hrm...Not sure how it would work, but perhaps the dragon did so as a ploy to throw off its enemies. The dragon killed might not be the actual dragon, but a double created via magic. Adventuring heroes go in, kill the dragon, and get the loot...Which is all fake and might disappear, which could lead to a lot of angry merchants. The adventurers might assume they missed the real goodies, as opposed to the dragon faking its own death. Given that a lot of them can take humanoid form...

[Shining Wrath]

Rule aleph null: The best way to hide lots of jewels from most high level parties is to bury them under a pile of copper pieces which is next to a pile of silver pieces which is next to a pile of gold pieces. They may bother to take the gold, but they'll ignore the small change.

Rule googleplex prime: Let the players win. Unless they really, really deserve to lose.

Rule 1.0375: The characters are not the first wizards ever (unless you say they are). So, most tricks for making infinite gold will involve infringing on the business of someone else who thought of that idea a trillion years ago, and by now they are so rich they have Asmodeus on the payroll to take care of competition.

[kreenlover]

Hrm...Not sure how it would work, but perhaps the dragon did so as a ploy to throw off its enemies. The dragon killed might not be the actual dragon, but a double created via magic. Adventuring heroes go in, kill the dragon, and get the loot...Which is all fake and might disappear, which could lead to a lot of angry merchants. The adventurers might assume they missed the real goodies, as opposed to the dragon faking its own death. Given that a lot of them can take humanoid form...

The adventurers are hired by a mysterious stranger to escort them through the dungeon to kill the dragon.
Once the dragon is killed the stranger decides to set up shop as a merchant/traveling minstrel/barkeep/crime lord/scholar/professor of magic where they are an invaluable resource to the adventurers, and at the heartbeat of a large network of information where they can find out who really wanted that dragon dead.
When the adventurers spend the illusory gold the stranger offers to lend them gold to pay their debts in exchange for hunting down the old enemies of the dragon.
Once the enemies have been killed the stranger gives the party more items that turn out to be cursed, then reveals themself as the first dragon and proceeds to tear party a new one.

It's like xorvintaal, only with more betterness!

[Honest Tiefling]

There's your rule. With enough imagination, almost anything can be a plot hook.

[Ferronach]

Foxtrot: always have an item that allows you to breathe underwater handy
Uniform: Always have the sheets you used to calculate all of your to hit and damage bonusses handy so the DM can check it when he/she wants... otherwise you may have to start over
Charlie: don't worry about the names of NPCs overly much... the party will always give them nicknames and refuse to use the names you gave them - unless the name was really awesome and easy to remember
Bob - You sick person! You thought that this would be Kilo didn't you :P: When metagaming during battle, don't let the DM know that you know the stats and weaknesses of the thing you are fighting. Otherwise the DM will get obscure and you will be completely screwed

[Kazyan]

Rule [quaternion of your choice goes here]: At some point, you will come across a hole which, if you drop a rock or something down it, you will not hear it hit the bottom. It's really deep. (This is an oddly constant trope across DMs, in my experience.)

[Yael]

Rule [quaternion of your choice goes here]: At some point, you will come across a hole which, if you drop a rock or something down it, you will not hear it hit the bottom. It's really deep. (This is an oddly constant trope across DMs, in my experience.)

(Rule [quaternion of your choice goes here])X: By common sense and by having at least an Intelligence score of 5, do not free jump on it; the falling damage you'll eat will start hurting when your DM ask: "Can you lend me some d6's, please?"

Rule #Caaaaaaaaarl!: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zB92yoK242s) Do not take 5 templates on your character whose LA is 2 lower because of Incarnate Construct; the possibility of your character being born in any method that you could explain with backstory is supbar in comparison with a half-vampire. Yes, that movie was mentioned. No, not even then.

[Pex]

Rule pi: In a dungeon, if you come across a fountain never drink the water. 50/50 chance the fountain has an important function.

Rule e: In a dungeon, no statue is ever just a statue. At best you were just lucky enough not to trigger whatever makes it activate.

Rule i: In a dungeon, when you come across a very large diamond that is worth a fortune, it is a key. You absolutely must use it at the appropriate time. It will then disappear or turn to useless dust. You will never have it as treasure.

Rule 6.0221413e + 23: In a dungeon, if you come across a treasure room that has lots and lots and lots of loose coin that's not an illusion, no monster to fight, but how unfortunate you have no means to carry it all, encumbeing your progress, and decide to "come back later" to pick it up when you're ready to leave, you will never come back later. Some event in the dungeon will either have you teleport/portal to some location outside the dungeon far away, often a very large diamond was the key, or you need to beat a hasty retreat and do not have the time to go into the treasure room to gather the coins in whatever makeshift carryall you were thinking it about. The treasure room only existed for the DM to tease you. He never, ever intended for you to get it.

Rule of THE UTMOST IMPORTANT: Never, ever, ever, and I mean EVER release an imprisoned creature/person.

[Curmudgeon]

Rule of THE UTMOST IMPORTANT: Never, ever, ever, and I mean EVER release an imprisoned creature/person.
The corollary of following this rule is that if you don't release them, they'll turn out to be the MacGuffin: all of the enemy motivation will disappear if you don't free that captive, and the DM's whole plot will fall apart. Rocks will fall, lava will flow, and your characters will all die horrible, meaningless deaths because there's no good way for the game to continue.

[TheCrowing1432]

Rule 2113: An Illusionary Dragon Created with Silent/Minor/Major Image, can solve all of your problems.

Rule 2113 a): it might cause dragon hunters to be summoned when you do it though.

[Raven777]

Rule of THE UTMOST IMPORTANT: Never, ever, ever, and I mean EVER release an imprisoned creature/person.

This one needs extra emphasis. One loses count of the number of ancient sealed abominations and plague spreading lunatics from bygone ages who have been unleashed back upon the world that way. And even if you go to the dungeon specifically to release them because you need their help right now do deal with what you assume to be a bigger threat, rest assured you will have to divert time from your goals to contend with them before the end. And even if you have no intention of releasing them, merely obtain information, they will find a way to trick you into releasing them anyway. You know what? Just don't even bother talking to them.

That little girl in the bedroom with iron walls? She's an insane reality warping fey. That soft spoken old man in the circle of black candles? With patience he can Mind Seed a copy of himself into every warm body on the Prime. That comatose black haired maiden on the ruined fane's altar? She's the first Black Dragon, cunning beyond mortal ken, brainwashed and crazy, and wants nothing less than the total genocide or of all non-Humans. That charming young lad in the Thief's Guild cellar? He's their lawyer.

[Venger]

Hrm...Not sure how it would work, but perhaps the dragon did so as a ploy to throw off its enemies. The dragon killed might not be the actual dragon, but a double created via magic. Adventuring heroes go in, kill the dragon, and get the loot...Which is all fake and might disappear, which could lead to a lot of angry merchants. The adventurers might assume they missed the real goodies, as opposed to the dragon faking its own death. Given that a lot of them can take humanoid form...

he'd just spring for a casting of "pact of return" and specify that so-and-so is going to kill him, being returned instantly afterwards with no level loss.

[TheCrowing1432]

Rule 413: Drink and eat everything you find in a dungeon.
Rule413 a): Lick everything in the dungeon, including the badguys
Rule413 b): have spare character sheets on hand.

[atemu1234]

I think we have at least two people having named their rule after the number for 1 mole.

[rgrekejin]

“but i don’t want to go among neckbeards," the dm remarked.
"oh, you can’t help that," said the player: "we’re all neckbeards here. I’m a neckbeard. You’re a neckbeard."
"how do you know i’m a neckbeard?" said the dm.
"you must be," said the player, "or you wouldn’t have come here.”


Magic Theater

Entrance Not For Everybody

For Neckbeards Only!

[nedz]

This one needs extra emphasis. One loses count of the number of ancient sealed abominations and plague spreading lunatics from bygone ages who have been unleashed back upon the world that way. And even if you go to the dungeon specifically to release them because you need their help right now do deal with what you assume to be a bigger threat, rest assured you will have to divert time from your goals to contend with them before the end. And even if you have no intention of releasing them, merely obtain information, they will find a way to trick you into releasing them anyway. You know what? Just don't even bother talking to them.

That little girl in the bedroom with iron walls? She's an insane reality warping fey. That soft spoken old man in the circle of black candles? With patience he can Mind Seed a copy of himself into every warm body on the Prime. That comatose black haired maiden on the ruined fane's altar? She's the first Black Dragon, cunning beyond mortal ken, brainwashed and crazy, and wants nothing less than the total genocide or of all non-Humans. That charming young lad in the Thief's Guild cellar? He's their lawyer.

I don't know — I did this to a bunch of Dwarves:

After destroying a Lich's Phylactery (long story) which was located near an abandoned Nymph's pool they recovered, amongst other things, a 5K gem. They determined that this contained a soul of someone whom the Lich had imprisoned. The "moral" dilemma was do the Dwarves smash the large beautiful diamond and release the prisoner, or preserve the diamond ? They smashed the gem. From it emerged a Nymph who, after blinding half of them, proceeded to grapple with them. The ones she managed to kiss received a certain feat as a reward.:smallbiggrin:

[Azoth]

Never let the party rogue out of your sight for a second if there is a chance he might do something stupid, or muderous, or self-satisfying.

Never let the BSF come up with the plan for an important fight.

Never let the wizard out of your sight in a library or you will never find him again.

Always ready an action to turn that helpless npc the cleric is about to heal into a fine red mist.

Always let the bard do the talking when dealing with bar wenches. Best case you get quality tail, and the worst case is him wearing a drink.

Leave the paladin at the inn when you go whoring.

[Sith_Happens]

Leave the paladin at the inn when you go whoring.

* When playing a Paladin, make sure to partake of every brothel presented to you. The look on your DM's face will be priceless.

[LTwerewolf]

* When playing a Paladin, make sure to partake of every brothel presented to you. The look on your DM's face will be priceless.

**Remind the DM after the inevitable threats, that chastity is not mentioned in the code of conduct.

[Yael]

Rule 3.14159265359: Do not distract the Paladin at the inn if he's a PC, metagame hits hard. No, not even if you can charm him. No, not even then.

[Necroticplague]

Rule i^e:Remember the main difference between thieves and adventurers: "Thieves will steal everything that isn't nailed down, on fire, or trying to kill them. Adventurers are not nearly so picky"
Corollary:If something is valuable, but on fire, nailed down, and trying to kill you, this is a challenge to see how you can loot it.

[Arbane]

Rule of THE UTMOST IMPORTANT: Never, ever, ever, and I mean EVER release an imprisoned creature/person.

My group is really extra-screwed, then. We're trudging through an evil monk's fortress, and we've released almost every prisoner we've seen. (All women. He's been collecting them. Yes, it's probably at least as bad as you're imagining.)

One of them was a succubus, but we knew that when we sprung her. Power-damping shackles or no, her screwing us over (literally or figuratively) is inevitable.

[Venger]

* When playing a Paladin, make sure to partake of every brothel presented to you. The look on your DM's face will be priceless.

why do you think they have remove disease as a class feature?

[atemu1234]

why do you think they have remove disease as a class feature?

What's more funny is I've had this argument used against me more than once before.

[Honest Tiefling]

Never let the party rogue out of your sight for a second if there is a chance he might do something stupid, or muderous, or self-satisfying.

And remember, everyone in your party is a rogue, regardless of what is written on their sheet. Especially the paladin.

[SimonMoon6]

Charlie: don't worry about the names of NPCs overly much... the party will always give them nicknames and refuse to use the names you gave them - unless the name was really awesome and easy to remember

* Unless a character is meant to be a joke, don't name them after a muppet.

(Seriously, one DM named a character "Kermit," and that was not a wise choice.)

[Strigon]

Rock & Rule: Unicorns are bad omens. If your party encounters one something really bad is going to happen next game scene. Always. Every time. Any DM. Any campaign. Any edition. Without fail. Yes, even then.

I cannot stress how true that is.
Not once have I seen a DM throw in a unicorn as he would a goblin, but frequently have they used them as an excuse to show how screwed up things are.

Unless the GM is a brony. In which case it might be innocent.
Maybe.

[Rater202]

Unless the GM is a brony. In which case it might be innocent.
Maybe.

As an expert on the subject, I place equal odds on an average GM who is a brony placing a unicorn as an innocent referance or as a DMPC. Use your judgement based on previous interactions.

but, If the Unicorn has wings and a much greater degree of streanth than normal, it's probably a DMPC

Rule 352495921: If the DM inserts an NPC Party Member who is bigger, stronger, or more important than the PCs, and shjows it off at every opertunity, run.
First Corollary: If the NPC PArty MEmeber is more important to the setting but is not stronger than the other PCs and works in equal partnership with the rt of the party, he's either the big bad in disguise or a plothook
Second corollary: If the NPOC party member is stronger/more skilled/better prepared than the rest of th party, but not as important and only uses his amazing power when the party is about to get TPK'd, it's just the GM watching out for you.
Corollary to second corollary: on the other hand, if the GM deliberately puts you in TPK situations to show off his DMPC,ignore the second corollary.