Worst encounters with rules lawyers

[Roxxy]

I haven't really had problems with them myself, but I find stories about them entertaining. So, let us share them.

[The Hanged Man]

It was the High School RPG Club, many years ago, and our resident Rule Lawyer was C. We only gamed with C because the club charter required us to accept any applicant who met the academic minimums for club participation, in return for having permission to use the library conference room at the school. At first C didn't want to be at the games at all, but his ride home was with his sister, who was also a club member (and a pretty obnoxious person in her own right, but unrelated to the topic).

The thing about C that made his Rules-Lawyering so intolerable is that he didn't actually know any of the rules well at all. He sensed that the trait that propelled people to the top of our little Nerd Hierarchy was knowledge, but didn't want to put in the work to learn anything. So he would regularly pipe up to contradict whoever was GM that week, and argue the game to a grinding halt until we dug out the exact passage that refuted him.

He would even do this on systems that he was being introduced to for the very first time, where he had never even handled any of the books, much less read any of them. He would make up stories about other games where things had been done differently, when we knew for a fact that we were the only people he had ever played any RPG with at all. But if we called him out on any of this, his sister would complain to the teacher who was the club sponsor that we were bullying him.

This eventually changed when we got a new club sponsor who was a little more hands-on, a pretty hardcore former gamer who was interested in the possibilities in RPGs for hooking kids on math, history, language and literature. When Mr. O was the one citing chapter and verse to refute C, it cut the arguments down to a much more manageable duration.

[ellindsey]

I suspect that I may be the horrible rules lawyer in my current gaming group. Mostly because I know the system we're playing (Champions 5th Edition) better than the GM and probably better than anyone else in the game, and the GM is prone to making things happen by GM fiat. Which leads to conversations like the following:

GM: As you are out patrolling the city, someone steps out from the shadows and grabs you by surprise!

Me: I have a power here on my sheet that grants me full combat defenses even under conditions of total surprise when being attacked by enemies I can't perceive, not to mention I also have 360 degree sonar sense and a DEX of 35. I want you to roll to hit on that grab.

Ok, I feel a bit bad about it sometimes, but on the other hand I really, really hate being railroaded.

[Atsull]

I'd like to give a slightly different story, a good encounter with a rule-follower.

I was playing the second character i had ever made, with the second group I had ever played with. The DM barely had anymore experience than me, and could be a bit of a pushover. So, I was a bit of a jerk. The other PCs didn't know I was doing it, I didn't consciously realize I was being a jerk, But let's say, Jimmy, did. At first, I just kind of cheated. I was playing wizard and I had the worst case of schrodinger's spellbook you've ever seen. I actually didn't even bother to prepare spells in the morning. I just whipped out whatever was useful at that time. At a point, I didn't even bother with spells per day. An NPC can't be convinced? I prepared suggestion! 6 goblins are attacking the group? Fortunately, I have 3 burning hand spells! I've already casted all my 3rd level spells? "uh, no. That was definitely yesterday. I'm certain we rested."

Then Jimmy came along. He was, quite fittingly, a paladin. It was his first character, but he was well informed. He totally called me on the shenanigans, without being a jerk. I still play often with Jimmy, and am good friends with him out of D&D. He's a fantastic Roleplayer and a natural leader. Rule-followers don't always have to have a stick the size of the mother tree stuck up their butt. Always remember that.

[Rhunder]

I suspect that I may be the horrible rules lawyer in my current gaming group. Mostly because I know the system we're playing (Champions 5th Edition) better than the GM and probably better than anyone else in the game, and the GM is prone to making things happen by GM fiat. Which leads to conversations like the following:

GM: As you are out patrolling the city, someone steps out from the shadows and grabs you by surprise!

Me: I have a power here on my sheet that grants me full combat defenses even under conditions of total surprise when being attacked by enemies I can't perceive, not to mention I also have 360 degree sonar sense and a DEX of 35. I want you to roll to hit on that grab.

Ok, I feel a bit bad about it sometimes, but on the other hand I really, really hate being railroaded.

This is a situation where I feel like the GM needs to know the limits of his PCs. Absolutely no way should that unfold that way. I have never thrown an encounter at a party without giving them a chance to spot it first.

[Squark]

I think I'm the worst rules lawyer I've ever seen. Granted, it's been years since I've gotten to play, so that's not saying much. And there's only been one real instance of it. Unfortunately, I messed that up (I remembered that Small greataxes drop a damage die, and reminded the DM when one of the kobolds hit our rogue. Checking the SRD now, it turns out he had remembered, it's just that small greatswords and greataxes break the normal damage scaling rules of 1d8<->1d12/2d6 for now reason, so what looked like a minor rules gaff was actually the DM doing his job).