PDA

View Full Version : My Novel - Part of the First Draft



Eldritch Knight
2007-03-16, 11:01 PM
Riding hard against the night,
Challenging Darkness’ might.
He does not know fear
His heart is true, and his deeds pure.
He is known as Lightbringer
The name which darkness fears.
His tale does not start here.
It starts long ago¼...
It starts, with an end.

-From Lightbringer’s Ballad



Book One of the Hero’s Chronicles
The Lightbringer

Jonathan J.W MacKay





Throughout history, there have been tyrants, and there have been heroes, called to oppose them. With the world being continually locked in the struggle between Good and Evil, life has gone on, the meagre existence that it is. However, the balance between Good and Evil is easily tilted, tilted by a single choice. It has always been up to the individual to decide which side of the conflict to serve. There are always those who would seek to sway the feebleminded to their cause, the cause of evil. For the past ten centuries, the balance has existed. However, the taint of evil lurks in the hearts of every being; even those considered the paragons of light.



It is because of this taint that a prophecy came to be. A prophecy saved for nearly ten centuries. The prophecy tells of one who will restore things lost to time and fate. It tells of a Lightbringer, one destined to free those held captive by evil powers. For these ten centuries this prophecy has not been needed.



In darkness lies,

The heart of men.

Of light, there is none.

One will come,

Of humble roots,

To restore the lost,

And build the new.



Lightbringer,

Nightslayer,

Shadow-walker,

Hidden in your heart lies Power.

Harness it,

And free your brother.

It is here, that the wheels of fate begin to spin¼¼¼




- Calas Myrij, The Sage

Chapter One

Sunlight crept in through the small slit of a window, causing the slumbering figure to awaken slowly. Blinking away the last vestiges of sleep from his crystal blue eyes, the figure arose. His long black hair fell into a messy ponytail over his broad shoulders. As he reached for his dirty and tattered work clothes, he noticed a note pinned to the bed’s headrest.

Selder,

You’ve slept in far too often. Just because you’re the owner’s son doesn’t give you the right to pass all your tasks onto poor hardworking folk like Kliran and me.

Melia




Selder groaned as he donned his work clothes. Melia was so annoying at times; he didn’t know why his father had hired her. If she wasn’t nagging him for laziness all the time, she was ignoring him completely. Granted, the fact that his father had also hired Kliran, the village cobbler’s eldest son, and Selder’s closest friend made life tedious, but enjoyable.

Selder’s father ran the stables and smithy for the town of Eagle’s Talon. It wasn’t glorious work, but it was profitable. Selder was expected to take over the business when he reached 21 years of age, so that his father could retire content in the knowledge that his legacy was secure.

Selder went to the stables, wanting to start his work for the day. When he reached the stables, he noticed that the main gate was open, meaning that the father was already in the attached shop, and was waiting to speak with Selder about the day’s tasks.

Selder entered the shop and waited for his father to acknowledge his presence.

After finishing the piece he was working on, Selder’s father, Arxelk, smiled as he looked upon his only son.

“This is an unexpected surprise. Usually you’re still asleep at this time. I need you to take the wagon to Langiun’s Brook, and pick up some more iron ore. I can only do so much with the current supply, and we’re running rather low. Take Kliran with you. And this time, don’t waste any time at Mercenary’s Hall. I need you back before sunset.”

With a nod, Selder departed to prepare the wagon for travel. It would be a long and weary journey, filled with the usual hazards of travel. One usually faced bandits, harsh weather, or just fatigue and exhaustion, but Selder never took the responsibility his father placed upon him lightly. When his father had a task for him, there was no questioning its importance. His father was an important man here, whenever someone needed a weapon or a tool forged, they came to his father. The ore from the mines at Langiun’s Brook was of the finest quality, and as such was highly valued. There would always be those who sought to gain the wealth of the mines through unjust means. Selder would have to be vigilant so as to not be caught off guard and end up being robbed. He may be somewhat capable with a blade, but he was well aware that there were many who could cleave him in two with a single attack.

“Selder! You better not be planning on leaving without me. Every time you go without me, you come back late. It’s almost as if you don’t like it here!”

Selder laughed as his friend Kliran walked towards him. He’d known Kliran since they were children. Eagle’s Talon was a rather small town, and was out on the frontiers of the Ergen Empire. It was a peaceful place, but it had its share of violent history. Legend holds that many years ago a massive invading army was turned back because of the townspeople valiant stand, and the timely intervention of a passing Archmage. Neither Selder nor Kliran believed this legend, and dismissed it as a myth. They had spent too much time exploring the areas around the town, and mastering the arts of riding, archery, and swordplay to put much faith in needless tales. Even though this part of the world had long been peaceful, their fathers felt that such practice would serve as a good way to keep the two out of trouble. Selder was much more capable with the blade then Kliran was, but Kliran found himself having a natural talent for archery, being talented enough that he could knock a few hairs off a horse’s tail without it ever being noticed.

“It’s not that I don’t l like it here, Kliran, after all, we’ve lived here all our lives. Haven’t you ever wanted to do something more meaningful than all this with your life?”

“Of course I have, but you know our fathers, ‘Someday you’ll take my place and run the shop.’ ‘You don’t have time to gallivant around playing the hero. There’s real work to be done.’ It’s almost as if they want to keep us here.”

They jumped with a start as a voice spoke from behind them.

“It’s not that I want to keep you here, my son, it’s more that you spend too much time dreaming of great deeds, and not enough time actually working. Now, shouldn’t the two of you be leaving?”

“Yes father.” Kliran said, lowering his head in shame. “We were just discussing the fastest route to take.”

“Don’t try fooling me, son. I know you and Selder were complaining about me and his father. Now, Melia wanted to see the both of you before you left. She’s at the well.

Selder and Kliran walked off towards the village well to find Melia. She could often be found at the well, talking with the other young women, and doing the laundry. When they arrived at the well, Melia stood up and glared at them.

“Shouldn’t you have left for Langiun’s Brook by now? It’s almost midday.”

“We would, but my father told me that you wanted to see us before we left. About what, he didn’t say.”

“Well, it might be because I’ve got some news that you ought to know. I’m betrothed.”

“WHAT?!?! Since when, and who’s the unfortunate fool? And why would I need to know that? It’s none of my business what you do with your life.” Selder said in shock.

She shook her head and walked over to him. “I have been since this morning. And, I must say you know this ‘unfortunate fool’ extremely well. In fact, it is very much your business.”

“Well,then who is he? And where is he? What does he look like?”

“Well, he’s about six feet tall, has the clearest blue eyes, and rough black hair. He’s got broad shoulders, muscular arms, and he’s a reasonable capable swordsman, but a significantly less than capable blacksmith. He’s extremely clueless, proud, but he’s very brave. And if he doesn’t figure out who I’m talking about soon, I’m going to hurt him. Badly.”

Realization dawned in Selder’s eyes. He groaned and shook his head in disbelief, totally stunned by this new revelation. “ME!? But why? And who said I would want a troublesome wench like you?”

Melia’s glare grew furious, and if Selder was a block of steel, he likely would have melted. Selder flinched as she slapped him on the back of the head. “The same person who thought I’d want an incompetent half-wit like you. Your father.”

Kliran just started laughing heartily at this exchange. He was laughing so hard that both Selder and Melia turned to him and said. “You stay out of this!”

“I’m going to have to have some words with that old man when I return. I should have known that he’d pull something like this.”

“Be that as it may, you better be careful out there. There have been rumours of bandits in the area. “

“Hey, it’s me. And besides, Kliran’s backing me up. There’s nothing to worry about.”

Selder and Kliran left, and started their journey to Langiun’s Brook. Kliran was chuckling the whole way.

“I don’t see why you find it so funny. I didn’t ask to be betrothed to her. I didn’t ask her to be in my life. Why my father thinks I need a wife is beyond me.”

“Well, you DO need all the help you can get. Besides, what’s so bad about her?”

“She’s annoying. She nags me all the time, and she’s always got this smug look on her face. To make matters worse, it’s as if she can predict my every thought. I tell you, it’s not fair. I’m only 18. Why should I be betrothed now? I’m too young to have a wife. I want to wander, experience the world like we’ve always dreamed!”

“You can still do that, Selder, but you’d have to take her with you.”

“That’s exactly the problem. What use would she be on such a journey? She can’t use a sword. I’ve still got the scars from her attempts to use the bow. If we got into a fight with bandits or monsters, she’d be a liability, not a help.”

“Selder, don’t underestimate her. She may not be able to fight well, but she’s got a good head on her shoulders. I imagine she’d be able to make her own way in life. Besides, she didn’t seem to be too happy about it either. Maybe you should at least give her a chance. After all, your father probably had his reasons.”

When they finally arrived at Langiun’s Brook, it was mid-afternoon, and the town square was bustling with activity.

Castaras
2007-03-17, 06:50 AM
Something odd has happened with the writing on the page for me...

It looks good though, keep on writing! :smallsmile:

Eldritch Knight
2007-03-17, 11:24 AM
Something odd has happened with the writing on the page for me...

It looks good though, keep on writing! :smallsmile:

If you're referring to the formatting, that's because I cut and paste it from the original document, so it's in the original format.

sethdarkwater
2007-03-18, 10:20 AM
1st question, how old are you 18- or 18+ don't have to be specific. This will have an effect on my opinion.

Eldritch Knight
2007-03-18, 10:27 AM
I'm 23. Though, I started writing this about 2 years ago.