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View Full Version : Player Help So...I have a golem now.



Amaril
2014-10-18, 01:45 AM
As the title says. Our group just stumbled across an ancient stone golem, and was lucky enough to also find the control amulet and activation command for it nearby. For some reason, they immediately gave the thing to me without complaint...so now I have this thing following me around.

What should I do with it? Seriously, I'm sort of just in disbelief that our DM let us get away with this, and I can't even think what to use it for now. I'll probably just end up having it smash enemies, but that seems sort of a waste of the massive potential that I'm sure I'm failing somehow to see.

Diachronos
2014-10-18, 07:57 AM
If it weren't for the fact that a stone golem has a 99.999999999999999999999996% chance of being too heavy for a Type IV bag of holding I'd suggest keeping it in one to break out as a bargaining tool.

It does give a few things that shouldn't be overlooked, though. A golem can also be used for:
Carrying excess items that you don't have room for
Moving things that are too heavy for the party's melee characters
An extra set of eyes on every watch shift

Gracht Grabmaw
2014-10-18, 12:16 PM
You could have it pull a carriage for your party to sleep in and store your stuff on your travels.

Anonymouswizard
2014-10-18, 01:09 PM
Okay, as a side note, what system, and what role is your character? It might help us come up with good ideas.

Okay, now what is a golem? The obvious answer is:
A golem is a fantasy robot.
Which is not helpful, so let's refine it:
A golem is a fantasy robot with broad but weak AI powered by an elemental spirit.
This is much more helpful.

We know that he's not that smart, but your golem could in theory do anything you can with the right orders to the point of giving you a +2 bonus to skill checks.

More interesting are what you could do with a piece of him, specifically his core. If we assume that our golem can keep moving until somebody dismantles him or orders him to stop, we have yourselves a perpetual motion machine.

Now let's define a unit.
1 golem(G) = the amount of work a golem can do in one hour.

Now let's take our golem core and put it in a new body. A body that is connected to a large magnet, which is inside a coil of wire. We now have a generator that will never run out. Let's say that we have one generator of electricity per hour, which never runs out. We could theoretically power a few homes from one golem.

Now we come into what could be seen as abuses. Let's make a few custom bodies.

If it can move limbs, it should be able to spin axels. Golem Car.

Next we can keep a humanoid body, but can allow him to change the structure of his arms into tools. With the right command he can do any task.

Now, how big can the body be? If large we can make a sword-building golem, if larger we can make more complex stuff replace your workers with golem.

Building on the last one, can a golem's construction be automated?

Jay R
2014-10-18, 01:17 PM
First of all, don't expect to keep it. This is the sort of thing a DM gives for a couple of fun sessions, with a plan for destroying it or having it taken away.

Second, whatever else you do, you must use it in combat, because a competent DM will adjust the CR based on the entire strength of the party.

Beyond that, we can't come up with specific ideas until we know what classes, levels, and alignments the party has, what current quests or goals you have, what enemies or rivals you've developed, and what interesting things you haven't looked into because you weren't powerful enough.

[On a purely economic level, you can now put a mill anywhere, not just on a river.]

Amaril
2014-10-18, 01:20 PM
Okay, as a side note, what system, and what role is your character? It might help us come up with good ideas.

Yeah, probably should have explained more in the OP. That's what I get for posting immediately after a 5-hour gaming session that ran past midnight :smalltongue:

It's Pathfinder, with an 8th-level party. I'm a wizard (transmuter), and my comrades are a monk, a fighter 7/cleric 1, and a druid.


-crazy golem shenanigans-

Wow, okay...all that stuff sounds hilariously awesome, but I know for a fact my DM won't let me get away with any of it--and besides, my character doesn't have the necessary knowledge to even think of any of those tricks. Magic item crafting is essentially a lost art in this setting, and constructs were another casualty. On top of that, the commands it can understand seem to be pre-programmed and pretty restrictive; it can understand things like "go forward", "follow me" and "break this", but I can't give it anything complex enough even to allow it to assist on skill checks, from the looks of things so far. When we found it, it was stuck inside a buried room in some ruins we got into, with the only exit being a portal that had ended up suspended 30 feet straight up in midair when the place collapsed. At the suggestion of the others, I cast fly on it and tried to get it to go up to the portal, but it didn't understand how to make use of the fly effect, since it was only programmed to walk. Eventually I had to grab hold of it and manually guide it through the air with my own fly effect (don't ask me how that worked when nothing else did, but that's what the DM allowed).

Anonymouswizard
2014-10-18, 01:56 PM
Yeah, probably should have explained more in the OP. That's what I get for posting immediately after a 5-hour gaming session that ran past midnight :smalltongue:

It's Pathfinder, with an 8th-level party. I'm a wizard (transmuter), and my comrades are a monk, a fighter 7/cleric 1, and a druid.



Wow, okay...all that stuff sounds hilariously awesome, but I know for a fact my DM won't let me get away with any of it--and besides, my character doesn't have the necessary knowledge to even think of any of those tricks. Magic item crafting is essentially a lost art in this setting, and constructs were another casualty. On top of that, the commands it can understand seem to be pre-programmed and pretty restrictive; it can understand things like "go forward", "follow me" and "break this", but I can't give it anything complex enough even to allow it to assist on skill checks, from the looks of things so far. When we found it, it was stuck inside a buried room in some ruins we got into, with the only exit being a portal that had ended up suspended 30 feet straight up in midair when the place collapsed. At the suggestion of the others, I cast fly on it and tried to get it to go up to the portal, but it didn't understand how to make use of the fly effect, since it was only programmed to walk. Eventually I had to grab hold of it and manually guide it through the air with my own fly effect (don't ask me how that worked when nothing else did, but that's what the DM allowed).

Hmmm... I should have expected that after looking at the golem as a resource instead of a service. It sounds like the GM has decided this is a fighter/sherper.

Probably your best bet? Take it apart, study it, and try to recreate it. Even if you don't get a second golem, you might be able to make a wondrous item or two from the knowledge.

EDIT: on second thought, how is it's memory? Can you give it a staff of power and say "go fifty feet west and then break this?" If so, then you might just be missing the programming language or function names. If you can't stack commands, then I'm out of ideas.

Amaril
2014-10-18, 02:07 PM
Hmmm... I should have expected that after looking at the golem as a resource instead of a service. It sounds like the GM has decided this is a fighter/sherper.

Probably your best bet? Take it apart, study it, and try to recreate it. Even if you don't get a second golem, you might be able to make a wondrous item or two from the knowledge.

EDIT: on second thought, how is it's memory? Can you give it a staff of power and say "go fifty feet west and then break this?" If so, then you might just be missing the programming language or function names. If you can't stack commands, then I'm out of ideas.

I'd love to take it apart and study it, as would my character, but I doubt that'll work for two main reasons. One is that it seems to be constructed of a single, solid mass of stone--not insurmountable, but it'd be difficult to break the thing open without damaging whatever components are inside. Two, more importantly, I've tried stuff like that with other magic items we've found before, and our DM hasn't let me do it. I think he really just doesn't want us making magical stuff on our own. It doesn't help that he can never keep his own rules about magic item crafting straight for more than one session.

I haven't tried stacking commands yet, but I would expect that to be possible, as long as they're commands it understands.


[On a purely economic level, you can now put a mill anywhere, not just on a river.]

Unfortunately, that's definitely been nixed too. If it moves more than a certain distance away from the wearer of the control amulet (I don't know the exact distance yet, but the scroll we found that explained the thing mentioned this), it automatically deactivates. On closer reflection, I'm pretty sure our DM just wants me to use it as a minion in combat, which I'm more than happy to do--it'd just be nice to have some more options.

Townopolis
2014-10-18, 02:41 PM
Determine if you can command it to follow a clear path, like a road. If so, the idea of hitching a cart to it to increase the party's travel rate still stands. Also, if you can order it to hold perfectly still, it should function slightly better than another party member when you need an impromptu climbable object.

Vitruviansquid
2014-10-18, 06:44 PM
Get rid of the golem.

You are a strong, independent fleshbag, and you don't need no robot.

TheCountAlucard
2014-10-18, 07:28 PM
See if it can open a door.

See if it can open a jar.

See if it can speak.

See if it can read; if it understands your spoken orders - see if it will do so if you write your orders down.

No, really, test this sucker out. Is your control of it mental? How high is its Strength?

Amaril
2014-10-18, 07:30 PM
See if it can open a door.

See if it can open a jar.

See if it can speak.

No, really, test this sucker out.

I most certainly will, as soon as we finish our immediately urgent quest of world-saving importance :smallcool: Until then, I guess I can make do with having a big smashy pet rock just for combat and lifting heavy stuff.

Bulhakov
2014-10-18, 08:02 PM
Make it carry you around (if possible fashion a backpack carriage/litter thing to comfortably sit on) :D

some other suggestions/ideas:

Have it throw party members in combat?

Can it throw rocks in combat?

Can it swing any weapons?

Can it grapple?

Can you or any party members repair it once it is damaged?

Erik Vale
2014-10-18, 08:05 PM
Honestly, see if it can fight independently, if so, sell it to kingdom Y.

KoboldMasteRace
2014-10-18, 08:21 PM
Honestly, see if it can fight independently, if so, sell it to kingdom Y.

I believe he explicitly mentioned it can't move too far away from the owner of its amulet, so it certainly won't be doing anything very independently.

Dunsparce
2014-10-18, 08:43 PM
Reminds me of my own Golem my Mystic Ranger got at level 8 in a D&D 3.5 campaign. Granted it was a 2 HD, Small-sized Paper Golem from Dragon Magazine and was only 600 Gold and I got it because my ranger is known to waste money on worthless stuff. Permanently binded a priceless wonderous item to it without the rest of the party's consent for no other reason other than to have a water-repelling magic umbrella strapped to its back

Erik Vale
2014-10-18, 09:37 PM
I believe he explicitly mentioned it can't move too far away from the owner of its amulet, so it certainly won't be doing anything very independently.

I meant could you tell it 'Kill X' or 'Fight Y' and it'd do that? If yes, then sell it to a kingdom, and have someone ride it.

Amaril
2014-10-18, 09:44 PM
I could totally sell it if I wanted to. Anybody can command it if they have the amulet, so I'd just sell that. I think I know who I might sell it to, as well. As of now, our group is under contract with a merchant company to do mercenary work for them, which we can't get out of unless we buy ourselves out. Thing is, our DM has said that he wants to wrap up this campaign after this adventure is finished (and I think the rest of us agree, myself included), but I don't really like the idea of my character's epilogue just being "and then he piddled around doing random jobs for this company for a year". Considering how much the golem has to be worth in this setting, I'm thinking that once we shut this thing down, it'll be my ticket out of the contract to a more appropriate ending.

TeflonSam1
2014-10-18, 10:19 PM
Go into a tavern and find the biggest, meanest looking dude there. Act like a clumsy fool, bump into him, and spill his drink. When he gets all bent out of shape, say "You wanna fight me, buddy?"

When he says yes, point to your golem and say "Here's me buddy!!" :biggrin:

Amaril
2014-10-18, 10:44 PM
Go into a tavern and find the biggest, meanest looking dude there. Act like a clumsy fool, bump into him, and spill his drink. When he gets all bent out of shape, say "You wanna fight me, buddy?"

When he says yes, point to your golem and say "Here's me buddy!!" :biggrin:

Aaaaand now I wish my character was a dwarf.

Wait, what am I saying, I'm a transmuter! I can be a dwarf anytime I want with just one spell :smallbiggrin:

Jay R
2014-10-18, 11:52 PM
I most certainly will, as soon as we finish our immediately urgent quest of world-saving importance

This is the first you've mentioned this quest, and it should be central to our answers.

What, exactly, is the quest?

Amaril
2014-10-18, 11:54 PM
This is the first you've mentioned this quest, and it should be central to our answers.

What, exactly, is the quest?

Why exactly should it be central? :smallconfused: People on here answer questions like this all the time with practically no background knowledge.

Sith_Happens
2014-10-19, 02:59 AM
One thing I'll say is, you'd better have a Transmute Mud to Rock ready at all times as soon as you can cast it*, because it sounds like that's the only way you'll have of restoring this things hit points.

* Is even scribing scrolls a "lost art," and if so what happened to your Scribe Scroll bonus feat?

Jay R
2014-10-19, 09:00 AM
Why exactly should it be central? :smallconfused: People on here answer questions like this all the time with practically no background knowledge.

Because "Use it to smash through the castle gate" is great advice if you're attacking a castle, but poor advice if you're defending one.

You should use the golem to succeed at your quest. That's the correct answer, but it's as useless as trying to teach somebody to play the trombone by saying, "Blow in this one end and slide this thing back and forth."

Amaril
2014-10-19, 11:19 AM
One thing I'll say is, you'd better have a Transmute Mud to Rock ready at all times as soon as you can cast it*, because it sounds like that's the only way you'll have of restoring this things hit points.

* Is even scribing scrolls a "lost art," and if so what happened to your Scribe Scroll bonus feat?

Nah, scrolls are still fine. I don't know that one, but our druid does know soften earth and stone, which should serve nearly as well.


Because "Use it to smash through the castle gate" is great advice if you're attacking a castle, but poor advice if you're defending one.

You should use the golem to succeed at your quest. That's the correct answer, but it's as useless as trying to teach somebody to play the trombone by saying, "Blow in this one end and slide this thing back and forth."

If I see an opportunity to use the golem for something specifically necessary for our quest, I'll do so. My issue is not knowing what to do with it the rest of the time.

Anonymouswizard
2014-10-19, 05:27 PM
If I see an opportunity to use the golem for something specifically necessary for our quest, I'll do so. My issue is not knowing what to do with it the rest of the time.

Does your house have a hatstand? It's the only non-violence non-travel thing I can think of.

Rondodu
2014-10-19, 07:04 PM
[Ö]on second thought, how is it's memory? Can you give it a staff of power and say "go fifty feet west and then break this?" If so, then you might just be missing the programming language or function names. If you can't stack commands, then I'm out of ideas.Is this golem Turing-complete?


Why exactly should it be central? :smallconfused: People on here answer questions like this all the time with practically no background knowledge.This golem is a Chekhov's gun (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chekhov%27s_gun). If your DM put it there, they probably have a plan for it latter on. If they havenít got one yet, they will.

Yes, this is a meta-game reasoning. Yes, it might be frowned upon.

Jay R
2014-10-19, 07:38 PM
If I see an opportunity to use the golem for something specifically necessary for our quest, I'll do so. My issue is not knowing what to do with it the rest of the time.

OK. I've asked for information about the quest, so we might be able to come up with more specifically useful advice. You have chosen not to offer it.

That's certainly your choice to make. No problem.

You already have my general advice, and don't want specific advice, so I guess I'm done here.

Goggalor
2014-10-20, 02:04 PM
Golems make for great physical trapfinders. I say physical because if there is a trap that casts confusion or any other mind-affecting/magical effect with no physical appearance, the golem would not know it was hit by a trap since they are immune to magical effects that allow for spell resistance.



Depending on how far the golem is able to wander from the amulet keeper, you might sell it to a port city as a means of towing boats/ships out into deeper water.



Again, dependent upon far it can wander, use it as a mobile anchor for a ship.



Living catapult ammunition that begins fighting as soon as it lands (distance a factor again).



The ultimate keystone for when you want an extremely sturdy bridge, but need a way to have it collapse quickly.


Those are just a few ways that I can think of making great use of a golem. I'm sure that if given a few more hours that I would come up with more.

CubeB
2014-10-20, 02:23 PM
Give it a name and help it to become a real boy.

Amaril
2014-10-20, 02:34 PM
Give it a name and help it to become a real boy.

Thread won, you can all go home.

daremetoidareyo
2014-10-20, 02:53 PM
Put a hunting stand back pack on him and mount a super large custom made crossbow on his shoulders like a turret, heck, make it one large enough to fire harpoons! He can be your stone cannon, tie off the harpoons to his wrist. That way you can stand behind him over his shoulder, getting 50% concealment while you drive harpoons into size large and above creatures. Use masterwork or magic rope, cuz that is the weak link. Now, you can go fishing for dragons, huge spiders, dire paragon were boars or whatever.


Maybe use meld into stone on your barbarian/monk and direct the golem to follow the movements his arm and legs make, and then he can use him as battle mech armor?


He is immune to magic. So perhaps having him carry around brass knuckles that end in a wide flat area with explosive runes tied to them that off in the first round of combat when he strolls up to the enemy and has these rune thrust into his face. Then punches thrust into his face.


Give him a small gong and directions on how to use it for simple messages if he cannot talk. attach a lightning rod to him and hunt a blue dragon. Give him some drumsticks and tell him to keep a marching beat for the bard to perform: spit mad rhymes to.

cover him in tar and direct him to grapple casters.

strap a plow to him and offer to plow fields at 3x the normal speed.

Strap him with oil soaked bandages and send him into the fray, let those swords spark off against him and whoosh: mook killer/huge distraction.

Diachronos
2014-10-21, 11:20 AM
I most certainly will, as soon as we finish our immediately urgent quest of world-saving importance :smallcool: Until then, I guess I can make do with having a big smashy pet rock just for combat and lifting heavy stuff.

No. Bad player! *gets out squirt bottle* Pointless sidequesting ALWAYS takes priority over the world's safety!

I can think of one thing to do with it: if the fighter can't get within melee range of something, have the golem throw him at it.