Dezea
2014-10-21, 06:33 AM
Hey guys,
I just came back from what was prolly the worst Pathfinder experience I ever had, and wanted to share it with you. (In part so I can spit it out, on the other part so you can tell me how responsible for what happened am I)
Before the story begins, let me just say that english is not my mother tongue, and that might be pretty clear at some point !
Here I am, old gamer, looking at all his gaming-buddy stoping the game for life reasons, most of them implying kids and wife (Hopefully for me, my wife and kids are gamer, yeah). So when a friend tell me about this friend of a friend, looking for a last player for his pathfinder game, I jumped on the occasion. My friend was expected to be the last player, but couldn't join them for the forementioned (Does that word even exist ? I'll give it a try) reasons, and wanted me to replace him. He didn't know about the DM, but was told that "While a bit railroading, he was overall okay".
I get in touch with the DM (Let's call him Ryan) on the phone, and he seems your usual nice guy. He don't give me any indication about the settings, telling me it's "Classic Golarion Stuff", and tell me to get a lvl 7, normal WBL char, core only. When I ask what would be most needed, he tell me the team is a bit low on the magic side at the moment.
So, I build a lvl 7 god wizard, thinking that you can never go wrong with those, and it's pretty easy not to outshine anyone if the party turn out to be pretty low-op. Let me introduce to you Leo Kendrell, wizard extraordinaire, poet and famous lover of women. And cats. Because cats. This wierd fellow is never seen without his cat familiar around his neck, his stylishly decorated wizard books in the hands, that he also use as a tools to write poetry.
Yeah. Could have done something a little more heavy on the RP side, but for a one-shot with no specifics indication on the settings, I didn't want to be a burden for the group with a character too RP-Loaded.
Entering Ryan flat, my red light start to pulse a bit. Ryan is a big bearded fellows, who likely didn't get a shower for quite a time and assert himself heavely on the smelling side. Heavely.
But well, I've been to convention (If you know what I mean), and despite being 40+, I've got an adolescent at home. I can deal with some bad smells. And, let's admit it : I really want to play.
The other guy are all late, so while waiting for them, Ryan explains me how much of a great history he wrote for this one-shot, and that he hope we will be strong enough not to dissapoint him. (Second red light). He doesn't seems interrested in any way by me, neither by my character, and when I tell him that I'll have to take a 3 min pause mid session to make sure my daughter came back home, he looks at me puzzled, asking if I'm kidding. I'm not. We spend the last 5 min waiting in some akward silence for the other player to come.
Enter player A, We'll call him Bob. Bob rush into the living room, get his character sheet out of his bags, start lining PERFECTLY every dice he has (And he have a LOT of them. A freaking lot.)
At this point, he neither said hi, nor looked directly in the eye of any of us. I'm puzzled, but well...I've been to convention. When asked by Ryan about his character, Bob explain that he got a gnome Paladin riding a blinking dog, and dealing 3x his damage on a charge, except that his character doesn't charge, but deal them trough the dog blinking, allowing him to rain insta death on anyone on sight.
I'm about to say that this is definitely NOT something even remotely doable within the rules (Let's not even talk about the core), but seeing the DM agree to everything he says, and seing Bob face overjoyed by his own explanation, I decide not to care, and, well, let the poor folk have his fun. After all, i've been to conve...Well, you got the point.
Enter shortly after player B, that I'll call "TittyPoop" for that guy had the sense of humor of a 3 years old. In the body of a 35 years old dude. One of our first interraction was, after the DM told him that (I still can't see why this was such a big topic) I'll have to abandon them for 3 minutes to give a call home for my daughter, to crack up a "Lone-geek" joke about my daughter. Now I am a quite a composed and reasonable person, but I still cracked up a bit on this, telling him he was clearly being offensive here, and that i'd rather get to playing without jokes about my daughter. And to be honest, I'm pretty sure I should have just run away at this moment, for everyone here looked at me as if I was the lamest guy ever, for getting angry at this.
Just so you know, TittyPoop had a Ninja/Ranger/Warpriest (Core only, OF COURSE), lvl 8 "Because you know, If i'm level 7, the build just doesn't work". I bravely decide to keep looking at my sheet, in order not to burst of laughter. Or tears. Or despair. But well, i've been to convention.
Shortly after TittyPoop, player C come, I'll call him "Cake", for he bring one, a whole sexy chocolate cake, and decided not to share any piece of it for the whole session, speaking 50% of the time with a mouth full of chocolate. The father in me had to do some serious work on himself not to pull out forcefully the cake out of his mouth when he was talking.
Cake had a Barbarian Elf, who had obviously HUGE TITS, as he said, and who attempted to have sex with literally everyone we came by for the next 4 hours. Just so you know, I'm not prude by any means, and I don't disregard a bit of sexuality in my game, but as a life rules : If you want to keep coherent, don't start masturbating on your axe mid-sessions.
Other than that, it has to be said that despite being absolutely awful to play with, Cake had the only remotely legit character.
Now, for you have to be asking yourselves, yes, this IS a true story. And it didn't even begins, in fact.
With all of us being here, Ryan makes us a sit in a circle, shut the light, start some creepy music, and begins to tell us of the story of Vilainous ArchVilain, Psion (Yeah, Core pathfinder game, whatever), and bend on destroying the world, for...Well, for destroying the world reasons, obviously.
Sadly for him, while I'm all for dramatic ambiance, his story looks rather stupid, with us four heroes having been united by an ancient prophecy, to save the world for this unspeakable evil, and having all been teleported by a very powerful sorcerer - And, he says, with tremor in his voice, probably an undercover dragon - in front of EvilPsion lair. (Wich is obviously an ancient evil god temple, is it even neccesary to say ?). Sadly also, that already quite stupid story is interrupted every sentence by an "And DOES THE PSION HAVE BIG TITIES ?" or some other "Chomp CHomp Chomp Munch Munch CHOCOLATEISGOOD).
Well, quicky after we'r set in front of this ancient temple, I got asked by the DM why I choose to play a Wizard instead of a sorceror. Truth is, after 30 years of D&D, I don't really care for this debate anyway, but I makes the HUGE MISTAKE of saying "Well, I think the wizard is more effective". For 10 minutes Ryan explain me how hugely mistaken I am, with me not saying a single world, for I really, really, couldn't care less about it. And I've been to convention, I know that silence is the worst enemy of the angry argumentative nerd.
After his looooong speech, he conclude by saying to everyone that he'll make a point to prove how wrong I am. This is obviously the second moment where I should have fled, but at this time, we were AT LEAST gonna be able to play, and I just wanted to start playing.
I won't go into much detail on the dungeon, you just have to know that it's full of badly written riddles (In french, sadly, so I won't be able to enlighten you with how writing riddles can go very very wrong and should almost never be atempted by a DM), with an "Incredibly intelligent and evil" Psion waiting at the end for us to come kill him, and a linear progression, with literally only Room/Door/Room/Door/Room/Door, without any possibility to turn at any moment, or even to go back. Yeah, door closing after us, and obviously immune to dimensionnal door or Blink Dog Chargin'. (The question "Can I smite Evil the door ?" has been asked.)
We start killing pretty easily everything we encounter, wich is not hard at all knowing that every time we enter a room we are met with one single monster of our CR or our CR+1, in an always perfectly square room, with no place to fly, nothing to restrain movement or anything. All the fight basicaly end up being an absolute stomping for an hasted party of cheesed character. After two fight tho, the DM accuse me of cheesing the fight because of Haste, and tell me "No more haste now, starting to realize why you should have been a sorcerer, heh ?".
It's worth being said that for the 2 first room, after the fight, the elf attempted to roleplay a tentative of seduction on my cat. Yeah. For real. I didn't say anything at beginning, but when the dude started describing how he would use the tails, I simply said that It was getting kinda repetitive (REPE-TITITS ? Said PoopTits, mimicking me, in a french equivalent). Again, Puzzled look at me, making me feel pretty old and boring.
Next room, no enemy. Until we are all inside the room, and an invisble ninja go full backstab on...My cat. Yeah. Who obviously get one-shoted, as do the poor ninja right after, eating a 180+ damage from a criting teleporting paladin. (That dude almost had an orgasm, at this right moment, and spend 5 minutes calculating and recalculating every damage, telling us that in fact his pally was telleporting from 2meter above the ground, so he had bonus damage).
End of the fight, I start arguing - Calmy, It shall be said - about how unlogical it was for that ninja to go after...The cat. Dm start telling about how HE decide what's right and wrong, go on saying that maybe the cat could have been a strong metamorphed SORCERER and look at me with evident pleasure telling me "But wait, now that your arcane bond is dead, you can't cast anymore, right ?". We spend the 10 next minutes with me forcing him to write the rules of arcane bonds, telling him that my cats is not an ITEM, and him telling me that's i'm a Raw Zealot, and that the RAI OBVIOUSLY intended for the wizard not to be able to cast with a dead familliar. After 10 minutes or arguing, I say that I don't see the point of playing with them, and that i'm leaving.
Instantly, he calms down, tell me that I don't need to sulk, and (I didn't even asked for this), ressurect my cat out of nowhere.
This is getting absolutely stupid, and I spare you PoopTits asking if one can **** a ninja corpse.
Some more room (Yes, I was serious when I told you about 100% linear and stupid Door / Monster / Door Monster), we encounter what i'm pretty sure was in his mind his views on tucker kobold. Except what we are facing his something like 50 kobold, in an 40x40 square room, all of them having bow and shooting at us from the back of the room.
Obviously, as soon as I enter the room, those kobold all starts to fire at me. I take something like 120 damage on the first round, and the DM goes to take my sheet, when I say that I have protection on arrow cast and extended on me every morning (Wich is no surprise by the way, one of the first things I said after we started playing was a list of all the buff I expend every morning), and that I "Only" took 40 damage. He ask for my sheets to double check if I used a protection from arrow, argue that I'm using a pen that can be erased and that I might have cheated, because noone cast all those buff every morning (Oh, sweet, sweet irony).
When it get obvious that I didn't cheated, he then spend 5 min looking at protection from arrow, and then goes on saying proudly that this doesn't work, because ALL of those kobold have magic bows. Yeah, all the 50 of them. Obviously.
Thos, this doesn't last for long, since Bob goes to calculate the worth of 50x2375, and say with a big smile how rich we'r gonna be ! ("We" probably not including his insta-gibbed dead wizard mate, but whatever), and Ryan - For reasons I don't understand since it's a One Shot - get afraid and end up saying that it was only magical arrows, in fact, and not bows. Wich still leave me dead, but at least it doesn't get us rich.
Seeing this, I decide that this is probably for the best, put my sheet back into my bag, and stand up to leave... But is made uneccesary when, seeing me leave, Ryan goes on to say that in fact the very powerful (And likely a dragon) wizard that get us used a charm on us to bring us back to life once if we die. "But without the buff obviously...And I guess that since you'r a wizard, you can't rebuff them...")
Shortly after we killed the kobold, Cake decide to test his new death immunity by masturbating on an axe. Good news for him, Ryan thinks is so funny that he award the player with an ..."Adamantine Vagina". Hopefully for me, I stoped caring long ago, and I'm simply now enjoying a trip in stupidity, knowing full well by now that I could leave any time without regrets.
Some more room, and Ryan has a great idea, we encounter a sorcerer (Obviously), who decide to use grease on my spellbook. I - With some luck i got to admit, i rolled a 20 - pass the save, and thus my book doesn't fall (Wich, by the way, seems to me quite unlikely anyway, but whatever). That's when suddently Ryan tells me that i'm being AGAIN a Raw Nazi for saying that my books use my save, and that a book OBVIOUSLY has low reflex save and should fall, by RAI.
My point that i'm pretty sure that I'm the one holding the book and not the contrary is only met by a "Chomp Chomp" from cake, and there goes my wyzard books. (He hesitated to roll damage on the books for the fall, but Bob told us that it only felt for 1 meter, "so the books DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TO ROLL ACROBATICS".)
Anymway, I didn't really need my books since the poor sorc get dispatched from another crazy gnome crit, and we can proceed until...
Remenber I said the door were closing after we enter a room ? Well, as we enter the next room and i go for a stinking cloud on the 4 poor troll we are facing, Ryan tells me we an happy grin "Well, sadly your books is still on the floor of the other room, remember ? You didn't tell me you were taking it back from the floor...".
And with this, I took my bag, went for the door, came back, took what was left of the chocolate cake and put it into the trash and then left.
Quickly after that I received an SMS telling me that I should be careful for Cake could call the police, and how I had been the worst player they ever played with.
So...here is my Pathfinder horror stories. A lot of detail are left out of it by the way, since some of them are just too crude, or are simply to stupid to be told.
I hope my english wasn't too much of an hassle for the reader, and, as would Cake says "CHOMP CHOMP".
I just came back from what was prolly the worst Pathfinder experience I ever had, and wanted to share it with you. (In part so I can spit it out, on the other part so you can tell me how responsible for what happened am I)
Before the story begins, let me just say that english is not my mother tongue, and that might be pretty clear at some point !
Here I am, old gamer, looking at all his gaming-buddy stoping the game for life reasons, most of them implying kids and wife (Hopefully for me, my wife and kids are gamer, yeah). So when a friend tell me about this friend of a friend, looking for a last player for his pathfinder game, I jumped on the occasion. My friend was expected to be the last player, but couldn't join them for the forementioned (Does that word even exist ? I'll give it a try) reasons, and wanted me to replace him. He didn't know about the DM, but was told that "While a bit railroading, he was overall okay".
I get in touch with the DM (Let's call him Ryan) on the phone, and he seems your usual nice guy. He don't give me any indication about the settings, telling me it's "Classic Golarion Stuff", and tell me to get a lvl 7, normal WBL char, core only. When I ask what would be most needed, he tell me the team is a bit low on the magic side at the moment.
So, I build a lvl 7 god wizard, thinking that you can never go wrong with those, and it's pretty easy not to outshine anyone if the party turn out to be pretty low-op. Let me introduce to you Leo Kendrell, wizard extraordinaire, poet and famous lover of women. And cats. Because cats. This wierd fellow is never seen without his cat familiar around his neck, his stylishly decorated wizard books in the hands, that he also use as a tools to write poetry.
Yeah. Could have done something a little more heavy on the RP side, but for a one-shot with no specifics indication on the settings, I didn't want to be a burden for the group with a character too RP-Loaded.
Entering Ryan flat, my red light start to pulse a bit. Ryan is a big bearded fellows, who likely didn't get a shower for quite a time and assert himself heavely on the smelling side. Heavely.
But well, I've been to convention (If you know what I mean), and despite being 40+, I've got an adolescent at home. I can deal with some bad smells. And, let's admit it : I really want to play.
The other guy are all late, so while waiting for them, Ryan explains me how much of a great history he wrote for this one-shot, and that he hope we will be strong enough not to dissapoint him. (Second red light). He doesn't seems interrested in any way by me, neither by my character, and when I tell him that I'll have to take a 3 min pause mid session to make sure my daughter came back home, he looks at me puzzled, asking if I'm kidding. I'm not. We spend the last 5 min waiting in some akward silence for the other player to come.
Enter player A, We'll call him Bob. Bob rush into the living room, get his character sheet out of his bags, start lining PERFECTLY every dice he has (And he have a LOT of them. A freaking lot.)
At this point, he neither said hi, nor looked directly in the eye of any of us. I'm puzzled, but well...I've been to convention. When asked by Ryan about his character, Bob explain that he got a gnome Paladin riding a blinking dog, and dealing 3x his damage on a charge, except that his character doesn't charge, but deal them trough the dog blinking, allowing him to rain insta death on anyone on sight.
I'm about to say that this is definitely NOT something even remotely doable within the rules (Let's not even talk about the core), but seeing the DM agree to everything he says, and seing Bob face overjoyed by his own explanation, I decide not to care, and, well, let the poor folk have his fun. After all, i've been to conve...Well, you got the point.
Enter shortly after player B, that I'll call "TittyPoop" for that guy had the sense of humor of a 3 years old. In the body of a 35 years old dude. One of our first interraction was, after the DM told him that (I still can't see why this was such a big topic) I'll have to abandon them for 3 minutes to give a call home for my daughter, to crack up a "Lone-geek" joke about my daughter. Now I am a quite a composed and reasonable person, but I still cracked up a bit on this, telling him he was clearly being offensive here, and that i'd rather get to playing without jokes about my daughter. And to be honest, I'm pretty sure I should have just run away at this moment, for everyone here looked at me as if I was the lamest guy ever, for getting angry at this.
Just so you know, TittyPoop had a Ninja/Ranger/Warpriest (Core only, OF COURSE), lvl 8 "Because you know, If i'm level 7, the build just doesn't work". I bravely decide to keep looking at my sheet, in order not to burst of laughter. Or tears. Or despair. But well, i've been to convention.
Shortly after TittyPoop, player C come, I'll call him "Cake", for he bring one, a whole sexy chocolate cake, and decided not to share any piece of it for the whole session, speaking 50% of the time with a mouth full of chocolate. The father in me had to do some serious work on himself not to pull out forcefully the cake out of his mouth when he was talking.
Cake had a Barbarian Elf, who had obviously HUGE TITS, as he said, and who attempted to have sex with literally everyone we came by for the next 4 hours. Just so you know, I'm not prude by any means, and I don't disregard a bit of sexuality in my game, but as a life rules : If you want to keep coherent, don't start masturbating on your axe mid-sessions.
Other than that, it has to be said that despite being absolutely awful to play with, Cake had the only remotely legit character.
Now, for you have to be asking yourselves, yes, this IS a true story. And it didn't even begins, in fact.
With all of us being here, Ryan makes us a sit in a circle, shut the light, start some creepy music, and begins to tell us of the story of Vilainous ArchVilain, Psion (Yeah, Core pathfinder game, whatever), and bend on destroying the world, for...Well, for destroying the world reasons, obviously.
Sadly for him, while I'm all for dramatic ambiance, his story looks rather stupid, with us four heroes having been united by an ancient prophecy, to save the world for this unspeakable evil, and having all been teleported by a very powerful sorcerer - And, he says, with tremor in his voice, probably an undercover dragon - in front of EvilPsion lair. (Wich is obviously an ancient evil god temple, is it even neccesary to say ?). Sadly also, that already quite stupid story is interrupted every sentence by an "And DOES THE PSION HAVE BIG TITIES ?" or some other "Chomp CHomp Chomp Munch Munch CHOCOLATEISGOOD).
Well, quicky after we'r set in front of this ancient temple, I got asked by the DM why I choose to play a Wizard instead of a sorceror. Truth is, after 30 years of D&D, I don't really care for this debate anyway, but I makes the HUGE MISTAKE of saying "Well, I think the wizard is more effective". For 10 minutes Ryan explain me how hugely mistaken I am, with me not saying a single world, for I really, really, couldn't care less about it. And I've been to convention, I know that silence is the worst enemy of the angry argumentative nerd.
After his looooong speech, he conclude by saying to everyone that he'll make a point to prove how wrong I am. This is obviously the second moment where I should have fled, but at this time, we were AT LEAST gonna be able to play, and I just wanted to start playing.
I won't go into much detail on the dungeon, you just have to know that it's full of badly written riddles (In french, sadly, so I won't be able to enlighten you with how writing riddles can go very very wrong and should almost never be atempted by a DM), with an "Incredibly intelligent and evil" Psion waiting at the end for us to come kill him, and a linear progression, with literally only Room/Door/Room/Door/Room/Door, without any possibility to turn at any moment, or even to go back. Yeah, door closing after us, and obviously immune to dimensionnal door or Blink Dog Chargin'. (The question "Can I smite Evil the door ?" has been asked.)
We start killing pretty easily everything we encounter, wich is not hard at all knowing that every time we enter a room we are met with one single monster of our CR or our CR+1, in an always perfectly square room, with no place to fly, nothing to restrain movement or anything. All the fight basicaly end up being an absolute stomping for an hasted party of cheesed character. After two fight tho, the DM accuse me of cheesing the fight because of Haste, and tell me "No more haste now, starting to realize why you should have been a sorcerer, heh ?".
It's worth being said that for the 2 first room, after the fight, the elf attempted to roleplay a tentative of seduction on my cat. Yeah. For real. I didn't say anything at beginning, but when the dude started describing how he would use the tails, I simply said that It was getting kinda repetitive (REPE-TITITS ? Said PoopTits, mimicking me, in a french equivalent). Again, Puzzled look at me, making me feel pretty old and boring.
Next room, no enemy. Until we are all inside the room, and an invisble ninja go full backstab on...My cat. Yeah. Who obviously get one-shoted, as do the poor ninja right after, eating a 180+ damage from a criting teleporting paladin. (That dude almost had an orgasm, at this right moment, and spend 5 minutes calculating and recalculating every damage, telling us that in fact his pally was telleporting from 2meter above the ground, so he had bonus damage).
End of the fight, I start arguing - Calmy, It shall be said - about how unlogical it was for that ninja to go after...The cat. Dm start telling about how HE decide what's right and wrong, go on saying that maybe the cat could have been a strong metamorphed SORCERER and look at me with evident pleasure telling me "But wait, now that your arcane bond is dead, you can't cast anymore, right ?". We spend the 10 next minutes with me forcing him to write the rules of arcane bonds, telling him that my cats is not an ITEM, and him telling me that's i'm a Raw Zealot, and that the RAI OBVIOUSLY intended for the wizard not to be able to cast with a dead familliar. After 10 minutes or arguing, I say that I don't see the point of playing with them, and that i'm leaving.
Instantly, he calms down, tell me that I don't need to sulk, and (I didn't even asked for this), ressurect my cat out of nowhere.
This is getting absolutely stupid, and I spare you PoopTits asking if one can **** a ninja corpse.
Some more room (Yes, I was serious when I told you about 100% linear and stupid Door / Monster / Door Monster), we encounter what i'm pretty sure was in his mind his views on tucker kobold. Except what we are facing his something like 50 kobold, in an 40x40 square room, all of them having bow and shooting at us from the back of the room.
Obviously, as soon as I enter the room, those kobold all starts to fire at me. I take something like 120 damage on the first round, and the DM goes to take my sheet, when I say that I have protection on arrow cast and extended on me every morning (Wich is no surprise by the way, one of the first things I said after we started playing was a list of all the buff I expend every morning), and that I "Only" took 40 damage. He ask for my sheets to double check if I used a protection from arrow, argue that I'm using a pen that can be erased and that I might have cheated, because noone cast all those buff every morning (Oh, sweet, sweet irony).
When it get obvious that I didn't cheated, he then spend 5 min looking at protection from arrow, and then goes on saying proudly that this doesn't work, because ALL of those kobold have magic bows. Yeah, all the 50 of them. Obviously.
Thos, this doesn't last for long, since Bob goes to calculate the worth of 50x2375, and say with a big smile how rich we'r gonna be ! ("We" probably not including his insta-gibbed dead wizard mate, but whatever), and Ryan - For reasons I don't understand since it's a One Shot - get afraid and end up saying that it was only magical arrows, in fact, and not bows. Wich still leave me dead, but at least it doesn't get us rich.
Seeing this, I decide that this is probably for the best, put my sheet back into my bag, and stand up to leave... But is made uneccesary when, seeing me leave, Ryan goes on to say that in fact the very powerful (And likely a dragon) wizard that get us used a charm on us to bring us back to life once if we die. "But without the buff obviously...And I guess that since you'r a wizard, you can't rebuff them...")
Shortly after we killed the kobold, Cake decide to test his new death immunity by masturbating on an axe. Good news for him, Ryan thinks is so funny that he award the player with an ..."Adamantine Vagina". Hopefully for me, I stoped caring long ago, and I'm simply now enjoying a trip in stupidity, knowing full well by now that I could leave any time without regrets.
Some more room, and Ryan has a great idea, we encounter a sorcerer (Obviously), who decide to use grease on my spellbook. I - With some luck i got to admit, i rolled a 20 - pass the save, and thus my book doesn't fall (Wich, by the way, seems to me quite unlikely anyway, but whatever). That's when suddently Ryan tells me that i'm being AGAIN a Raw Nazi for saying that my books use my save, and that a book OBVIOUSLY has low reflex save and should fall, by RAI.
My point that i'm pretty sure that I'm the one holding the book and not the contrary is only met by a "Chomp Chomp" from cake, and there goes my wyzard books. (He hesitated to roll damage on the books for the fall, but Bob told us that it only felt for 1 meter, "so the books DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TO ROLL ACROBATICS".)
Anymway, I didn't really need my books since the poor sorc get dispatched from another crazy gnome crit, and we can proceed until...
Remenber I said the door were closing after we enter a room ? Well, as we enter the next room and i go for a stinking cloud on the 4 poor troll we are facing, Ryan tells me we an happy grin "Well, sadly your books is still on the floor of the other room, remember ? You didn't tell me you were taking it back from the floor...".
And with this, I took my bag, went for the door, came back, took what was left of the chocolate cake and put it into the trash and then left.
Quickly after that I received an SMS telling me that I should be careful for Cake could call the police, and how I had been the worst player they ever played with.
So...here is my Pathfinder horror stories. A lot of detail are left out of it by the way, since some of them are just too crude, or are simply to stupid to be told.
I hope my english wasn't too much of an hassle for the reader, and, as would Cake says "CHOMP CHOMP".