Bone Mountain

[Fuum Bango]

Its raining.

You pick a newspaper off the ground, the text is slanted and thick ink blotches cover every sentence, its the kind of cheap only a goblin could make. Flicking through you find little of interest, "Fehmale 'as tuwelve babis in won go!".

Just as your about to thow it back where it belongs something catches your eye... "Dwarf'n sods dig 'ole in Bowne montain, not seen since. Good."

Bone mountain, who names these places? Well, about time I had a adventure away.

http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f152/Badger-Man/Skullmt.png

Welcome to the Town's own generic dungeon. With monsters, piles upon piles of treasure and deadly traps.

Take this thread anywhere you want, I'll appear in the thread once in a while as a DM of sorts to fling some horrible thing at you.

Oh, and in the spirit of bad role-playing everwhere, I want everyones opening post to make thier character sound mysterious and badass. Wear cloaks.

[Warpfire]

Nathaniel approaches Bone Mountain, wearing a black, concealing cloak that also makes him look really cool. Heavy metal guitar music that is really cool plays from somewhere as he approaches the mountain.

"Here is our goal." he says, in a deep, mysterious, and really cool voice.

[Therarde]

((Heh, rangers are always considered badass since Aragorn.))

Seemingly from nowhere, a cloaked figure appears. A thunderstorm suddenly starts, and some really awesome music plays. So, this is Bone Mountain, eh?

[Warpfire]

Nathaniel suddenly comes to his sense. He shrugs off the cloak. "Damn that thing was heavy and hard to move in." The guitar music stops playing. "Yes, this would be Bone Mountain."

[Therarde]

The storm lessens down to a drizzle. Yep. So, how do we get in?

[Warpfire]

"Hmm..." Nathaniel looks around for an entrance.

[Fuum Bango]

"And it will be your grave!" screeches a...

a mountain goat.

the goat charges at Nathaniel.

[Warpfire]

"What in the name of God..." Nathaniel sighs and draws his sword, slashing at the mountain goat.

[Fuum Bango]

The mountain goat shugs off the wounds, and circles Nathaniel again for another charge.

[Therarde]

Therarde attempts a Charm Animal spell on the goat.

[Warpfire]

Nathaniel raises his sword into a block position and waits for the next charge.

[Fuum Bango]

The charm spell works! the bleeding goat sits on the cool rock, gasping for breathe.

[Warpfire]

Nathaniel looks over at Therarde. "How long will that last?"

[Therarde]

A few hours at least. We should be safe. He looks at the goat. Can you talk?

[Rainspattered]

A thin frame, garbed in shrouds of spider silk, shakes the rain from his face, droplets flying left and right as the cowl of his hood falls to his neck. He moves swifly, but clearly rides upon no mortal steed; its form is licked with flame and its fur blacker than the night itself. All that may be seen of his face is the thing beard, a few days without shaving, that has formed upon his clefted chin and hollow cheeks, and a mess of black hair atop his head. Incredibly ominous metal music, played upon classical instruments (if you are familiar with Apocalyptica, you understand the idea), plays in the background of his arrival. His feet touch the ground as he nears the dungeon, the soles of his boots scuffing against the dirt of the ground as he approaches.

[Fuum Bango]

"Yeah...I, I was with Frey a moment ago, shes a Dwarven druid..." the goat stands, showing a hint of pride, "I'm her cohort."

[Warpfire]

"Then why did you attack us?"

[Therarde]

Frey? Who would that be?

[Fuum Bango]

"I don't know. I don't remember. I..." the goats voice becomes a whisper, "How long have I been here?"

the goat looks to Therarde, "Shes wonderful, she...awakened me. Showed me the world. I think shes in the cave. I must get in!"

[Warpfire]

"Well, we'd better go and find the entrance.." Nathaniel glances at the approaching cloaked figure.

[Therarde]

Don't worry. Do you want to go with us? We're looking for someone in the mountain as well.

[Fuum Bango]

"Yeah. Listen, lemme focuse. Hmmm. Hmmm, I know where the entrance is, I'm a pretty magical guy y'know. Follow me up this thin, unstable trail."

[Warpfire]

"That trail looks pretty unstable.." Nathaniel shrugs and carefully begins to follow him.

[Therarde]

Whee. He casts Cat's Grace on himself and Nathaniel, before following the goat.

[Rainspattered]

((Magus is the classic munchkin.))
Magus, the lack of creativity in his name offset by the creativity used to make his twinked classes make sense in his background, arrived at the side of the other two adventurers. I suppose, he said to himself, Some petty chunks of meat would serve me well. I would hate to have to waste one of my spells mending the robe if a dragon's fire hit me dead on.
"Hail, are you to assault this den of fiends?" he says, "I come to vanquish the evil," he adds.

[Fuum Bango]

the goat turns, "Yeah. Come on dude, we could use all the help we can get. And also I have a strange feeling I may die at any moment."

the goat then looks up at Nathaniel, "See that dark coloured rock up ahead? thats a secret door, I know it!"

[Therarde]

Therarde turns to Magus. Actually, we're here to find some old guy's son and get some ancient riches.

[Warpfire]

Nathaniel heads for the dark rock. "So how do we open it?"

[Rainspattered]

"Oh, lucky for me. I'm here to subvert the monsters that lie in this dungeon and use it to increase my own power, regardless of the good or evil involved."
I don't have to roll any more bluff checks, I guess. Not that I could possible fail them. Magus thinks to himself, levitating to prevent slipping off the path as he follows the adventurers in.

[Fuum Bango]

"Well, I think its just a illusio-"

A rock whizzes pass everyones head and hits the goat, cracking it's head open. It then falls to its death.
In the distance only Therarde hears Something you believe to be large, like a hill giant, laugh.

[Rainspattered]

Magus, having to have auto-failed his listen check to miss it, falls into a huffy silence at the indignity of being upstaged by a mere mortal by a 1/20th chance of bad luck.

[Therarde]

Therarde looks around. What the hell was that? Come on, let's hurry. He runs up to the aforementioned dark rock, his Cat's Grace spell allowing him to easily make is way there quickly.

[AmberVael]

Magus, having to have auto-failed his listen check to miss it, falls into a huffy silence at the indignity of being upstaged by a mere mortal by a 1/20th chance of bad luck.
((This incident is made even MORE unlucky by the fact that one can't autofail skill checks.
Clearly Magus is having a bad day))

[Therarde]

((No kidding.))
Therarde beckons for everyone else to come to where he is.

[Rainspattered]

((Reality was temporarily altered against him, Vael. God(s) hate munchkins. :smallwink: ))

[Warpfire]

Nathaniel hurriedly makes his way to where Therarde is.

[AmberVael]

((*The great DM in the sky looks down on Magus and laughs at him, rolling his polyhedron of fiendish might around in his hand*))

[Warpfire]

Nathaniel considers the dark rock, wondering what to do.

[Therarde]

Therarde kicks the rock. Nothing happens.

[Warpfire]

Nathaniel steps on the rock, considering the situation with a frown. Nothing continues to happen. He decides to sit on the rock.

[Therarde]

Therarde searches the rock and finds a door on it. That was annoying.

[Warpfire]

"Indeed. Well, lets go." Nathaniel opens the door and walks in. A vast, dark cavern opens up before them. Various campfires are scattered about the area, with vaguely humanoid figures sitting about them. A much larger figure sits by one.

[Therarde]

What are they?

[Warpfire]

Nathaniel strains his eyes to get a better look at the humanoids. "Looks like ogres. And a hill giant," he announces.

[Therarde]

Whee. Well, do we rush in and kill them, sneak around them, or pick them off one by one?

[Warpfire]

Nathaniel shrugs. "You decide."

[Therarde]

Well, he says, gripping his sword handle, as much as I would like to run in and kill them, it would probably be in our best interest to take the stealthy approach.

[Warpfire]

"Yes, well, I'm not much of a stealthy person. But I shall try." Nathaniel begins to sneak towards the edge of the cavern.

[Therarde]

Therarde also begins towards the edge of the cavern, quietly enough that he isn't noticed. The cat's grace spell on Nathaniel also allows him to move quietly enough to avoid detection.

[Warpfire]

As they sneak around the edge of the cavern, they eventually come upon a spot where a camp is near the edge. There's about enough distance between the wall and camp to stay out of sight, but its going to be difficult.

[Therarde]

Therarde whispers to Nathaniel. Here's the part where we try and sneak across, and if we fail, kill everything until it stops shooting. Sound good?

[Warpfire]

Nathaniel nods, and starts sneaking very slowly past the camp. Unfortunately, its rather dark, and he doesn't notice the sudden lowering in elevation. He falls with a resounding thud.

The ogres all stand up, and as many torches are are lit throughout the cavern, you realize that smaller ogres, orcs, and goblins have been sitting/sleeping in the darkness between the campfires.

Nathaniel points towards the distant exit. "Run!" Without another word, he takes off for the door.

[Therarde]

Therarde has the urge to run over and kill the orcs and goblins but manages to retain the sense to run for the door.

[Warpfire]

The assorted monstrous humanoids start throwing rocks, arrows, and spears at the pair. Nathaniel curses as a spear finds a slit in his back armor, but keeps running.

[Therarde]

Therarde's eagle flies off his shoulder and flies towards the door in an attempt to dodge and avoid attention. Therarde himself continues running, albeit a bit reluctantly.

[Warpfire]

Nathaniel reaches the door, and quickly jumps through it. "Get in here!"

[Therarde]

Therarde dives for the door, just as a large rock hit right where his head was. He makes it inside, and closes it as soon he's made sure the eagle is in.

[Warpfire]

Nathaniel stands there for a second, then notices the spear in his back. He grits his teeth and pulls it out, wincing as he does so. Dropping the bloody spear to the ground, he looks around.

The door suddenly disappears, leaving only a sheer rock wall behind them. The muffled shouts of confused ogres and orcs can be heard.

[Therarde]

((Wait, are we outside or still inside?))
Therarde notices Nathaniel's back. Need a little help there? I can do a little bit of healing.

[Warpfire]

((We're still inside. I didn't specify, but I meant to be pointing at the exit on the other side of the room, not the one we came in.))

Nathaniel nods. "Go ahead. Thanks."

[Therarde]

((Okay, I thought so, just making sure.))
Therarde casts Cure Light Wounds on Nathaniel. We'd best keep moving. Who knows when those goblins will figure out how to open the door.

[Warpfire]

Nathaniel looks around the area. "Yes, we'd better get going."

[Therarde]

They are in a smallish passageway, about 5 feet high, but wide enough for 3 to walk abreast. Nothing can be heard but the sound of dripping water.

[Warpfire]

Nathaniel holds his sword out in front of him and starts down the passage. He hears the dripping water. "I wonder where that sound is coming from.."

[Therarde]

Probably some kind of underground stream or such. He begins down the corridor.

[Warpfire]

((Well, I've gotta go for tonight, see ya later))

[Therarde]

Suddenly, time freezes in the dungeon, and Therarde manages to be at town and in the dungeon at once.

[Fuum Bango]

Nathaniel steps on a wet, tattered dairy. On the cover written neatly is, "Rokie the Bard, the Battle of Bone Mountain". If he bothers to pick it up, inside is written,


"And so our epic adventure begins! We packed our gear, many of it given to us by our family and friends and set off for Bone Mountain. What luck it was that Nord came across that generous map salesman. First map for free indeed!
It took a lot of time to convince Frey to join in, funny sort of girl, has a ugly goat. But Nord said she is a druid, and that his dad says they're really powerful. On the other hand, my cousin Ranite was with us with as soon as he heard. Barbarians are like that I guess. Well, Nord did mention to me earlier that a legendary axe is hidden in the mountain...
I wonder if my tale will make me famous? Nord says it will.
-
We finally made it! Well, it wasn't that hard really, Frey says a storm is coming but so far its been really sunny. I think I'm getting really "High Level" as Nords dad would say, because I was singing as we traveled and I made some kind of, how to put it, dancing lights. Frey and that goat said it wasn't very impressive but Nord said it was great. I don't think I'll write much about Frey in my epic tale...
Ranite brought some fine ale from Mounthaven, what a great guy. I'll gladly fight side-by-side with him!
I'm thinking of calling this the "Battle of Bone Mountain".
-
We've entered the mountain by good old fashioned mining pick, we brave adventurers willing to battle evil and bring glory to our family names, Frey's goat wandered off about a hour ago, said they're was a easier way in. Ranite fell asleep as soon as we got in here, that guys got no will, save for when hes fighting. I'm pretty tired too.
Yeah, I thik I'l writ morein the morning. Sleepy. Itchy.

[Therarde]

Therarde suddenly realizes that time is stopped, begins existing only here, and looks around.

[Warpfire]

Nathaniel picks up the diary and reads through it. "Hmm, interesting."

[Therarde]

Therarde notices Nathaniel reading. What's so interesting?

[Warpfire]

"Its a journel of some bard. Apparently he was adventuring with the boy we're supposed to rescue." He hands the journal to Therarde.

[Therarde]

Therarde flips through it. And the master of that goat as well. Hmm, this makes it seem likely that they're still alive. Come on. He searches the ground for tracks.

[Warpfire]

Nathaniel follows along as Therarde searches the passage for tracks.

[Therarde]

Therarde's player pokes the plotline.

[Warpfire]

Nathaniel's player realizes that Fuum has gone offline and Nathaniel presses on down the passage.

[Therarde]

Therarde continues looking for tracks, somewhat annoyed by the dripping water. He press on while looking.

[Fuum Bango]

Fuum slaps the players hand.

Therarde uses is amazing half-elven ranger powers to finds a set of boot tracks leading into a increasingly narrow tunnel, the sort of tunnel some dwarves could escape a hill giant in.
The tunnel is dusty, the duos clothes become covered in blue dust by crawling down it.

[Fuum Bango]

Sheesh, a guys internet goes offline for a minute and your all breaky-the-fourth-wally.

[Therarde]

Therarde follows the tracks going as quickly as he can while still keeping the trail and beckoning to Nathaniel.

[Warpfire]

Nathaniel's player points out the irony in the above posts.

"Its getting rather cramped..." says Nathaniel as he follows Therarde. "What exactly have you picked up, trail wise?"

[Therarde]

Seem to be boots. Perhaps the party went this way?

[Fuum Bango]

Fuum knows this and enjoys irony way much.

Stuck in a crevice in the rock is a small fur covered boot.

[Therarde]

And here's the boot. He says, pullling out the boot.

[Fuum Bango]

The walls begin to close in on you.

First rule of old school adventuring, don't pull on stuff!

[Warpfire]

Nathaniel tries to get a closer look, trying to see if it is closer in size to a small human's boot, or a dwarf's.

He stops trying to get a closer look as the walls close in. "Look like its back to the running..." He runs for the opposite end of the tunnel from the way they came in.

[Therarde]

((>_<)) Therarde abandons the trail and makes a run for the other side.

[Warpfire]

"If we get smashed to death, its totally your fault!" yells Nathaniel as he continues to run down the passage.

[Rainspattered]

Realize how lost in sulking he was, Magus rushes in after them, following their path easily thanks to that partial level of ranger he took from an illithid mindmeld, and stops short of the enclosing walls, deciding maybe waiting out that danger would be best.
Sitting, he looks through his memorized spells, a herculean task for the sheer number of the things, for something that can aid the situation.

[Fuum Bango]

The duo make it to the end of the tunnel just in time, wails of goblins and other green toned beasties can be heard just as the tunnel closes forever.
The room ahead of you is bright blue, swirling dust fills the air and shards of midnight blue metal slit the ground open.
In the corner sleeps a sickly goblin, a runt.

((That said, Magus can use any spell that doesn't open the tunnel, like teleport or walking through the rock))

[Therarde]

((Heh, nice idea for a character, but two problems. First of all, when he finally finds something useful, the problem will be sorted out. Secondly, imagine the multiclass XP deductions...*sudders*))

[Rainspattered]

((As a hideous munchkin, I'm sure he found some obscure rule letting him ignore those penalties in some splatbook penned by evil, yet seemingly reliable and persuasive, gods.))

Magus teleports to the other side of the wall. "You're lucky I hasted you," he lies, "You wouldn't have made it out in time were it not for my masterful spellcraft. No need to thank me, defending the weak is what I live for."

[Warpfire]

"Really. And yet my armor, which defends against hostile spells and alerts me when beneficial spells are cast on me, somehow failed to recognize this." Nathaniel rolls his eyes and mutters something.

[Therarde]

Come on, let's deal with the situation at hand. He gestures at the goblin in the corner.

[Warpfire]

Nathaniel heads over to the goblin, then stands around doing nothing, unsure of what to do.

[Rainspattered]

"I've taken 'stealth spell' training," Magus says with an upturned nose, not lying this time, for such a feat in on his character sheet, "But indeed, fighting will get me no closer to an army of evil minion and you no closer to your treasure and," he pauses, distastefully "old dude's son. Not to mention another character level."
Looking around, he sees the metal. "Ah, Azkaenium. It's very strong, and carries a potent natural magical charge. In addition, I'd guess this cavern to have been dug out, since this isn't the natural placement of Azkaenium ore, and an inordinant number of creatures are asleep," Magus says, his sizable knowledge (dungeoneering) bonus coming to use to warn his companions.

[Therarde]

So, do we kill it? He asks this a bit too eagerly.

[Rainspattered]

"Hey!" Magus yells, "Don't be inhuman, that's a potential member of my-- a living creature we're talking about," Magus amends, hoping for roleplay exp, "And are we any better than it if we kill it in its sleep without provocation?"

[Warpfire]

"Quit moralizing at him. But we'd best not kill it, yet. It might have something useful to say." Nathaniel nudges the goblin with his foot, none too gently.

[Therarde]

Therarde grumbles something and watches what happens.

[Warpfire]

Nathaniel's player notes that Fuum is offline again, but decides to wait a bit before doing anything rash.

[Warpfire]

((Well, Fuum doesn't seem to be coming back soon, and he might have something important for the goblin to say. I think we should pause.))

[Therarde]

((Indeed.))
Time freezes around the party as the gods go off to do random stuff.

[Fuum Bango]

Sorry gang, the internet Gods have been playing with my connection.

The goblin wakes up with a start, rubs his eyes feverishly. "Dat you Nems? Nems?...Oh buggery."

He attemps to run but trips over. "Gah, um...I didn't do nothing, I know nothing, go way! Go way!

He waves a strange, wooden spider symbol at you, his eyes closed. "Go way!"

[Therarde]

Therarde takes a few steps back, knowing that anything he says will probably make the situation worse.

[Warpfire]

Nathaniel draws his sword and points it at the goblin. "Don't move."

[Fuum Bango]

The goblin sobs, "I promise I wont, I wont I promise."

[Warpfire]

"Have you seen a person by the name of Nord? He's a dwarven rogue that passed through here recently. " Nathaniel asks in a harsh voice.

[Uberblah]

mIshmale walks up from the town and looks around, an evily mallicious smilie playing across his mandibles.
I could get used to this.
His pitch black cloak flutters slowly behind him. This (http://youtube.com/watch?v=MH5-tf5e8Wg) is heard in the background as he approaches.
----------------------------------------------------------
mIshmale comes out of dead time and realizes nothing is happeining so he heads back to town and the music stops.

[Therarde]

Therarde's player realizes that dead time has encompassed the area, and creates another Therarde in the town.

[Uberblah]

mIshmale walks in from town his cloak billowing behind him and the same music from before playing in the background. He tugs at his police bracelet as he walks around for awhile.
-----------------------------------------------------------
His player decides that nothing is going to happen for awhile so he creates a cmIshmale in Town.
-----------------------------------------------------------
After a few days of nothing, mIshmale disappears to replace cmIshmale who was created in town by the player.