Proofread my NPC, please.

[Tarlek Flamehai]

The following NPC is a scholarly, not adventuring type. He needs to be functional and useful, not combat optimized. He should still be able to defend himself, of course.

Thanks in Advance!

Aman Al-Raqib, Astrologer and Advisor an NPC of the Desert of Desolation

Race: Human Ethnic: Dupari Region: Golden Water Alignment: Chaotic Neutral Deity: Adama (Curna/Oghma)

HD: 15d4+15 HP: 53 AC 11 Flat-footed AC 10 Fort 6 Reflex 6 Will 10 BAB +6/+1 Attack 1d6-1

ST 9 DX 12 CN 12 IN 17 WS 9 CH 11 Familiar: Horned Lizard

Languages: Durpari, Draconic, Dwarven, Raurindi

Skill Ranks: Concentration 18, Decipher Script 6, Profession (Astrology) 18, Spellcraft 18, Knowlege (Local) 12, Knowledge (Arcana) 12, Knowledge (History) 12, Speak Language 1

Feats: Skill Focus (Astrology), Spellcasting Prodigy, Craft Wondrous Item, Extend Spell, Spell Focus (Divinaiton), Persistent Spell, Craft Magic Arms&Armor, Craft Contingent Spell, Forge Ring

Magic Items: Staff of Charming, Enduring Amulet, Ring of Sand Striding, Third Eye Freedom, Dimension Stride Boots, Gloves of Object Reading, Headband of Intellect +2, Ring of Silent Spells, Cloak of Resistance +2, Dispelling Cord, Belt of Hidden Pouches, Wand of Magic Missiles

Spell Book:
Level 0
Read Magic, Detect Magic, Ray of Frost, Resistance, Mage Hand, Prestidigitation, Arcane Mark, Light, Daze, Mending, Message
Level 1
Mage Armor, Sleep, Charm Person, Magic Missile, Darrson's Cooling Breeze, Locate Water, Sunstroke, Identify, Wall of Smoke, Comprehend Languages
Level 2
Fox's Cunning, Halaster's Light Step, Blur, Locate Object, Shadow Spray, Snowball Swarm, Detect Thougts, Resist Energy, See Invisibility
Level 3
Amaneunsis, Backblast, Slow, Blink, Dispel Magic, Glowing Orb, Whispering Sand, Lightning Bolt, Improved Mage Armor
Level 4
Scrying, Arcane Eye, Wall of Sand, Mass Whelm, Mass Unseen Servant, Charm Monster, Dimension Door, Lesser Globe of Invulnerability
Level 5
Leomund's Secret Chest,Transmute Sand to Glass, Flesh to Salt, Cone of Cold, Dismissal, Dragonsight, Mailed Might of the Mage Lords, Sakkratar's Triple Strike
Level 6
Ashen Union, True Seeing, Kyristan's Malevolent Tentacles, Shalantha's Delicate Disk, Analyze Dweomer, Sandblast
Level 7
Glorious Master of the Elements, Greater Teleport, Spell Turning, Arcane Spell Surge
Level 8
Mystic Shield, Lightning Ring

[Uncle Pine]

Assuming Aman Al-Raqib is a straight 15th level Wizard (not listed, but plausible) and that the Dupari region doesn't give him any bonus (I've never heard of it so I'll treat it as fluff, correct me if I'm wrong):

Aman Al-Raqib, Astrologer and Advisor an NPC of the Desert of Desolation

Race: Human Ethnic: Dupari Region: Golden Water Alignment: Chaotic Neutral Deity: Adama (Curna/Oghma)

HD: 15d4+15 HP: 53 AC 11 Flat-footed AC 10 Fort 8 Reflex 8 Will 12 BAB +7/+2 Attack +6/+1 (1d6-1)

ST 9 DX 12 CN 12 IN 17 WS 9 CH 11 (?) Familiar: Horned Lizard

Languages: Durpari, Draconic, Dwarven, Raurindi

Skill Ranks: Concentration 18, Decipher Script 6, Profession (Astrology) 18, Spellcraft 18, Knowlege (Local) 12, Knowledge (Arcana) 12, Knowledge (History) 12, Speak Language 1

Feats: Skill Focus (Astrology), Spellcasting Prodigy, Craft Wondrous Item, Extend Spell, Spell Focus (Divination), Persistent Spell, Craft Magic Arms&Armor, Craft Contingent Spell, Forge Ring, Scribe Scroll, 1 more

Magic Items: Staff of Charming, Enduring Amulet, Ring of Sand Striding, Third Eye Freedom, Dimension Stride Boots, Gloves of Object Reading, Headband of Intellect +2, Ring of Silent Spells, Cloak of Resistance +2, Dispelling Cord, Belt of Hidden Pouches, Wand of Magic Missiles

Spell per day: 4 5 5 5 4 4 3 2 0

Spell Book:
Level 0
Read Magic, Detect Magic, Ray of Frost, Resistance, Mage Hand, Prestidigitation, Arcane Mark, Light, Daze, Mending, Message
Level 1
Mage Armor, Sleep, Charm Person, Magic Missile, Darrson's Cooling Breeze, Locate Water, Sunstroke, Identify, Wall of Smoke, Comprehend Languages
Level 2
Fox's Cunning, Halaster's Light Step, Blur, Locate Object, Shadow Spray, Snowball Swarm, Detect Thougts, Resist Energy, See Invisibility
Level 3
Amaneunsis, Backblast, Slow, Blink, Dispel Magic, Glowing Orb, Whispering Sand, Lightning Bolt, Improved Mage Armor
Level 4
Scrying, Arcane Eye, Wall of Sand, Mass Whelm, Mass Unseen Servant, Charm Monster, Dimension Door, Lesser Globe of Invulnerability
Level 5
Leomund's Secret Chest,Transmute Sand to Glass, Flesh to Salt, Cone of Cold, Dismissal, Dragonsight, Mailed Might of the Mage Lords, Sakkratar's Triple Strike
Level 6
Ashen Union, True Seeing, Kyristan's Malevolent Tentacles, Shalantha's Delicate Disk, Analyze Dweomer, Sandblast
Level 7
Glorious Master of the Elements, Greater Teleport, Spell Turning, Arcane Spell Surge
Level 8
Mystic Shield, Lightning Ring

Corrections and annotations are bolded:
- Base saves for a 15th level Wizard are +5/+5/+9, +6/+6/+8 including ability modifiers, +8/+8/+10 including the cloak of resistance, +2 Will including the familiar;
- BAB for a 15th level Wizard is +7/+2;
- Ability scores are... weird. The elite array (the one you should use for a NPC with levels in a PC class) is 15, 14, 13, 12, 10, 8. Yours looks more like 14, 11, 11, 11, 9, 9 :smallconfused:
- Wizards get Scribe Scroll as a bonus feat at 1st level. A human 15th level Wizard should have 10 (1st, 1st, 3rd, 5th, 6th, 9th, 10th, 12th, 15th, 15th) talents, not 9;
- A Wizard with an Int score of 17 can't cast 8th level spells.

I admit I didn't check number of skill ranks (difficult to track unless you know how the NPC allocated extra ability points at 4th, 8th and 12th level), equipment (looks fine and NPC WBL rules are more guidelines than rules) and spell book (any 15th level wizard could theoretically learn any number of spells up to 8th level).

Suggestions: I find NPC stat blocks to be easier to manage, check and correct if you use the usual MM form.
Name, Class
Size/Type:
Hit Dice:
Initiative:
Speed:
Armor Class:
Base Attack/Grapple:
Attack:
Full Attack:
Space/Reach:
Special Attacks:
Special Qualities:
Saves:
Abilities:
Skills:
Feats:
Environment:
Organization:
Challenge Rating:
Treasure:
Alignment:
Advancement:
Level Adjustment:

[Tarlek Flamehai]

Assuming Aman Al-Raqib is a straight 15th level Wizard (not listed, but plausible) and that the Dupari region doesn't give him any bonus (I've never heard of it so I'll treat it as fluff, correct me if I'm wrong):[/unquote]

The above is correct.


[QUOTE]Corrections and annotations are bolded:
- Base saves for a 15th level Wizard are +5/+5/+9, +6/+6/+8 including ability modifiers, +8/+8/+10 including the cloak of resistance, +2 Will including the familiar;

I was tired and forgot to add in the cloak.



- BAB for a 15th level Wizard is +7/+2;


Sigh, I factored in the ST mod but forgot to account for the DX mod.



- Ability scores are... weird. The elite array (the one you should use for a NPC with levels in a PC class) is 15, 14, 13, 12, 10, 8. Yours looks more like 14, 11, 11, 11, 9, 9 :smallconfused:

His stats were lifted directly from a 1st edition module. Since he is a contact and not a combat NPC I thought I would leave them as such. Now I will go back and see if he had 8th level spells in the old module.



- Wizards get Scribe Scroll as a bonus feat at 1st level. A human 15th level Wizard should have 10 (1st, 1st, 3rd, 5th, 6th, 9th, 10th, 12th, 15th, 15th) talents, not 9;
- A Wizard with an Int score of 17 can't cast 8th level spells.


I completely missed both of these.



Suggestions: I find NPC stat blocks to be easier to manage, check and correct if you use the usual MM form.
Name, Class
Size/Type:
Hit Dice:
Initiative:
Speed:
Armor Class:
Base Attack/Grapple:
Attack:
Full Attack:
Space/Reach:
Special Attacks:
Special Qualities:
Saves:
Abilities:
Skills:
Feats:
Environment:
Organization:
Challenge Rating:
Treasure:
Alignment:
Advancement:
Level Adjustment:


I'll use this next time.