Stealing from a lich

[wilderness26]

Hello all, my character has run into a little situation in our campaign and I have until next session to come up with a solution. I am hoping for your help!

A little background information:
Our party is a human artificer (me), a human wizard and a halfling fighter. We are 4th level. We have recently infiltrated a large army of hobgoblins and gray elves who are working together (with many other creatures and goblinoids) in a massive cave system in the mountains to prepare an invasion of a "good" realm. We're posing as supporters of their cause and have been assigned to a (formerly human) lich as our mentor.

Anyway, I recently went to see the lich on my own and he wasn't in his abode so I snooped around a little, "knock"ed open a cabinet of his, found and took a potion and a fancy bone wand with a rare gem imbedded in it. I decided not to be greedy and look for more so I locked the cabinet back up and left with it. I proceed to identify the potion as gaseous form and the wand as magic missile CL9. Needless to say I really want to keep that wand.

The next day the lich summons us. He is understandably quite irked and tells us about how he has been robbed and tasks us with finding who is responsible and retrieving the items immediately.

I cannot make a duplicate wand as I don't have craft wand yet and I won't be able to replicate the gem imbedded into it anyway.

Any ideas of how I can get away with keeping this wand would be greatly appreciated! Could be involving spells or magic items or simple to complex social interactions; I'm up to explore any possibilities. The politics of various figures in this army are complex and I tried to simplify the situation as much as possible, but please ask if anything needs to be clarified!

[dantiesilva]

Blame it on someone he suspects, and wants out of the way. But can't do for unknown reasons. Kill some of that person's mooks to look good then give the items back.

He is either testing you and already knows you have it. Or he was going to give it to you anyways and he is pissed it went missing. Giving it back is your best option unless you have a huge bluff modifier, and even then discern lies, location. Scrying....

[wilderness26]

Thanks for the response! You're probably right about giving it back being the best option... Ugh. The wizard in our party seems to be of a similar opinion, especially since he is more of the student to the lich than my character.

A couple small details (unsure if they matter) is that the lich seems to be a little forgetful and we're not exactly sure he remembers what spells are in the wand and potion. Also, I do have access to scribe a scroll of any 3rd level or lower spell.

I feel mostly persuaded, but if you were absolutely hellbent to keep this wand, what kind of strategy would you try?

[Inevitability]

Got anyone in the army you don't like? Maybe a high-ranking officer that keeps bugging you, or a commander who's the only one between you and a better position? Forge evidence pointing to that person having stolen the items.

Try to make a copy of the wand without the gem, but with the wand looking like the gem has been pried off. Pour the potion into another bottle (labeled 'pasteurized alcohol-free milk') which you keep somewhere with you, then put the original bottle and the fake wand somewhere in that person's personal belongings. If someone finds them, they'll probably think the 'thief' has already drunk the potion and sold the gem.

[Kelb_Panthera]

Don't. Just.... don't.

A lich is a powerful and dangerous foe to make. Find a patsy, pin the crime on him, let the lich deal with him. It'll give you a chance to see what he does to his enemies and keep him from butchering you for your impertinence.

[atemu1234]

Don't. Just.... don't.

A lich is a powerful and dangerous foe to make. Find a patsy, pin the crime on him, let the lich deal with him. It'll give you a chance to see what he does to his enemies and keep him from butchering you for your impertinence.

This seems the most logical course of action.

[Pearstriker]

Don't. Just.... don't.

A lich is a powerful and dangerous foe to make. Find a patsy, pin the crime on him, let the lich deal with him. It'll give you a chance to see what he does to his enemies and keep him from butchering you for your impertinence.

This.

You want to return the wand to him without him knowing that it was you who took it. You can burn a couple charges off of it while finding a suitable dupe, but be sure not to let on that you know what it does unless it fits in with your story of how you "caught" someone "with it".

Liches aren't known for being forgiving, and the fact that your party is in the service of one would imply that you're not EXACTLY good aligned. Your character shouldn't be kept up at night for lying and throwing someone under the crazy-powerful-undead-bus.

This is a rare opportunity for you. You've got the proficiencies, so if anyone's in your way, step up and swing that Lich!

[wilderness26]

Got anyone in the army you don't like? Maybe a high-ranking officer that keeps bugging you, or a commander who's the only one between you and a better position? Forge evidence pointing to that person having stolen the items.

Try to make a copy of the wand without the gem, but with the wand looking like the gem has been pried off. Pour the potion into another bottle (labeled 'pasteurized alcohol-free milk') which you keep somewhere with you, then put the original bottle and the fake wand somewhere in that person's personal belongings. If someone finds them, they'll probably think the 'thief' has already drunk the potion and sold the gem.

Haha this would be great.

I would totally try this but I think the rest of you are getting the better of my chaotic tendencies. Not worth risking dying for this wand as we're going to need all of us successfully hinder this army's efforts. It seems that I was underestimating the power of a lich.

Thank you all for your input! Rune has thought better of his short-sighted action that was stealing the lich's wand.

[daremetoidareyo]

If you're disrupting the army, framing the highest power person leading the army is the best action. Especially if you encourage a couple of idiots to vie for the position... Encouraging even the use of violence to ascend ranks.