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Inevitability
2014-12-06, 04:38 PM
Okay, this is just a little thread dedicated to developing characters, having good laughs, and coming up with devious situations to test their evilness before putting your PC's in one.

The idea is simple. Someone posts a situation, and the next poster posts how his character (pick one) would react to it. Then, that person posts a situation of his own.

Poster #1: Situation: Your party is exploring a deep dark cave. Suddenly, you hear something down a dark tunnel.

Poster #2: My rogue hides, motions for his allies to retreat, then carefully sneaks closer. He readies his poisoned dagger, but also draws his slender rapier.

Situation: ________

Without further ado, let's start with the first situation:

-You come across a bridge guarded by a horrible warty troll. The monster looks at you with its cruel eyes before demanding a thousand gold pieces if you want to pass.


Mods, if you think this should be in Message Board Games, feel free to move it.

Hyena
2014-12-06, 05:12 PM
My rogue-ish detective runs past him as fast as possible. Trolls are not known for speed or maneuverability.

A good friend - best friend, even - of your character suddenly murdered somebody - who is unknown to your character - in a fit of berserker rage. He claims that he has a good reasons, that he can't explain right now, and asks for your help in disposal of the body. Nobody but you has witnessed it.

(Almost actual situation that happened to my character)

Kane0
2014-12-06, 05:41 PM
My Warlock helps him haul the body and incinerate it, no questions asked. I will bring it up with him at a later time.

You are in town selling magic items you have looted while adventuring when you are approached by some local guardsmen. They claim you have sold a cursed item during your shopping, and make clear their intent to lawfully apprehend you. How do you respond?

FabulousFizban
2014-12-06, 06:34 PM
answer to all three: my senile wizard responds with befuddled confusion... and probably color-spray.

JusticeZero
2014-12-06, 06:46 PM
"Really? Which one? I will happily buy it back and make it right. I wouldn't want to upset the local king by accidentally cursing someone, or by carving through her entire city guard if they plan to stop me while I'm trying to rescue her daughter."

One of your contacts in town, after you were away dealing with an infestation of the undead, greets you on your return - but is very blatantly not the same person at all. They were a small elderly gent with a greying beard before, and you were just greeted by a portly and tall fellow with long curly hair and a mustache. Neither your contact, nor anyone in town, think your claim that they are different is anything but a delusion or mistake on your part..

Kol Korran
2014-12-06, 06:48 PM
This looks like fun.



You are in town selling magic items you have looted while adventuring when you are approached by some local guardsmen. They claim you have sold a cursed item during your shopping, and make clear their intent to lawfully apprehend you. How do you respond?

Damn it! I told Killpi that he or Glimji should sell stuff. We cannot be caught by the Fist! Forever on the run. Lynn thought quickly, thinks how quickly she might move with her heavy armor, and thinks better of it. "Magic? Cursed magic? We found them while battling the remnants of dark mages, I meant no harm and will give the offended person the value of said item. We didn't know it's dangers! We don't deal with magic! We just wanted to get rid of the vile stuff, and be done with it!"

Where are those damned gnome and halfling when you need them? I hope this works...
--------------------------------

As you march with a small army to lay siege to a demon city, one of your fellow PCs transforms partly into a demon, and goes berserk. It lasts only a few rounds, but in the last episode the barbarian nearly killed your mage. You find no magic in your power that can stop this, and it happens usually under duress or tense moments. Before the barbarian managed to control it better, but it becomes harder and harder to control...

What do you do?

IZ42
2014-12-06, 07:35 PM
Depends on the circumstances, but he's getting grappled, because monk.

Strigon
2014-12-06, 09:09 PM
I leave him be, but if he harms anyone innocent I slit his throat in the night.

A person who was once close, but hasn't been contacted in years asks for your help (probably a mentor/old partner). It's a life-or-death situation, but if you leave, many people could be hurt as you are trying to stop a band of ogres from ravaging a small village.

jaydubs
2014-12-06, 09:32 PM
A person who was once close, but hasn't been contacted in years asks for your help (probably a mentor/old partner). It's a life-or-death situation, but if you leave, many people could be hurt as you are trying to stop a band of ogres from ravaging a small village.

I don't owe anything to random villagers, and between the two I'll always help the ones I care about over strangers.

Nonetheless, I call in a favor. I've worked with enough heroic types in my time that one will probably answer my request, especially if it's for a good cause.

_____

Your most hated enemy shows up on your doorstep, and demands that you strike him down. You know he's too powerful to capture alive, and he refuses to answer any questions. What do you do?

(Un)Inspired
2014-12-06, 10:01 PM
I don't owe anything to random villagers, and between the two I'll always help the ones I care about over strangers.

Nonetheless, I call in a favor. I've worked with enough heroic types in my time that one will probably answer my request, especially if it's for a good cause.

_____

Your most hated enemy shows up on your doorstep, and demands that you strike him down. You know he's too powerful to capture alive, and he refuses to answer any questions. What do you do?

My Cancer Mage Bites him. He's now got to deal with every disease from rabbies to scabbies. I desecrate his corpse and bury him upside-down.

_____


You party has infiltrated the Evil Witch's castle dressed as her castle guards. Unfortunately she has spotted you! She casts produce flame and lights your scarecrow on fire.

What do you do?

YossarianLives
2014-12-06, 10:04 PM
You come across a bridge guarded by a horrible warty troll. The monster looks at you with its cruel eyes before demanding a thousand gold pieces if you want to pass.
My character runs to a chokepoint and start firing a relentless volley of arrows and lightning bolts.

While looking through a chest you just found, you hear a scream from one of your companions and you turn around. All of your buddies have mysteriously disappeared.

Strigon
2014-12-06, 10:12 PM
I draw my weapon and begin investigating. Once I'm satisfied nothing dangerous is here, I hightail it out and begin research on what may have happened, and any way to retrieve my friends.

You've been framed for murder, and are in jail while the real perpetrator goes free. Escape is impossible without either letting your guilty cellmates free, or killing innocent (good) guards. Eventually you are confident that your name will be cleared (let's say two months), but until then you're stuck in jail while there's a murderer on the loose.

DontEatRawHagis
2014-12-06, 10:24 PM
I draw my weapon and begin investigating. Once I'm satisfied nothing dangerous is here, I hightail it out and begin research on what may have happened, and any way to retrieve my friends.

You've been framed for murder, and are in jail while the real perpetrator goes free. Escape is impossible without either letting your guilty cellmates free, or killing innocent (good) guards. Eventually you are confident that your name will be cleared (let's say two months), but until then you're stuck in jail while there's a murderer on the loose.

My Warlock would sacrifice the guilty cellmates to the elder gods and then slip away in the night, avoiding the innocent guards.

Your soul has been stripped away from you as a result of the Deck of Many Things. Unusually this has caused you to become a working body without a soul(ala intelligent zombie). Reclaiming soul will bring you back to the world of the living. You know that your soul has been transported into the possession of your closest friend who just so happened to have merged with a Pit Fiend last time you saw them.

Raimun
2014-12-06, 11:32 PM
My Warlock would sacrifice the guilty cellmates to the elder gods and then slip away in the night, avoiding the innocent guards.

Your soul has been stripped away from you as a result of the Deck of Many Things. Unusually this has caused you to become a working body without a soul(ala intelligent zombie). Reclaiming soul will bring you back to the world of the living. You know that your soul has been transported into the possession of your closest friend who just so happened to have merged with a Pit Fiend last time you saw them.

Reaction: I'd hit it with my sword. Until it's dead. Then I'll loot the body for my soul.

Scenario: Your character experiences existential crisis when he realizes that killing monsters and looting them might not be morally upright or even logically consistent way to live.

SpeedWitch
2014-12-07, 02:56 AM
By the gods, you're right! Reginald immediately abandons his adventuring party and goes back to being a bounty hunter who always takes the alive option when examining wanted posters.

Your most valuable object has been stolen from your possession. What is it? Who could have done it? How do you react when you see Kobold children playing with it in the woods?

Inevitability
2014-12-07, 05:27 AM
My wizard is angry at having his magic staff, which has proved useful many times, missing. He immediately inspects the possessions of all party members, his annoyance only growing as this proves fruitless. When he sees the kobold children playing with it, he turns invisible, sneaks up to the little critters, and grabs the staff away. If that doesn't work, he'll resort to intimidation, bargaining, or downright (nonlethal) violence.

--------------

You have been captured by unknown creatures and wake up bloody and beaten in a small chamber. The only object in it seems to be a small button. As you look around, the wall shifts and cracks, revealing a Magic Mouth, which speaks:

"Greetings, humanoid subject 1991414518. You and your party have been captured and placed into identical cells. In fact, as you hear this message, all of your companions are hearing it too."

"The button you see there is very important, so pay close attention to me now. When this message ends, you can choose to push the button. If no one in your party does so, you will all be set free and given a sack of gold as reward for your faith in each other. If, however, anyone presses it, he or she will be set free, but all who didn't press their button will be killed. Multiple people can be set free this way, so if all of you press the button, all of you will live."

"You have five minutes to make a decision. After that, nothing you try will have any influence on your final fate. Make your choice, 1991414518."

With a soft grinding, the mouth becomes a piece of inert wall again. The button is still there. What do you do?

This is kind of a preview for my soon-to-be campaign setting, actually. It'll have a faction putting people through these kind of tests, believing themselves to be the 'Absolute Judges of Men'. Obviously, lots of moral ambiguity and drama should ensue.

Strigon
2014-12-07, 08:53 AM
You have been captured by unknown creatures and wake up bloody and beaten in a small chamber. The only object in it seems to be a small button. As you look around, the wall shifts and cracks, revealing a Magic Mouth, which speaks:

"Greetings, humanoid subject 1991414518. You and your party have been captured and placed into identical cells. In fact, as you hear this message, all of your companions are hearing it too."

"The button you see there is very important, so pay close attention to me now. When this message ends, you can choose to push the button. If no one in your party does so, you will all be set free and given a sack of gold as reward for your faith in each other. If, however, anyone presses it, he or she will be set free, but all who didn't press their button will be killed. Multiple people can be set free this way, so if all of you press the button, all of you will live."

"You have five minutes to make a decision. After that, nothing you try will have any influence on your final fate. Make your choice, 1991414518."

With a soft grinding, the mouth becomes a piece of inert wall again. The button is still there. What do you do?
I press the button.
My ranger knows his companions can't be trusted, and if anyone in his party thought otherwise, then they wouldn't last long in the real world, anyway.

Your best friend who has saved your life many times (or your significant other, if you have one), is being held by a powerful wizard, likely being tortured and about to be killed. You do not know why the wizard is doing this, but it is clear that he is well beyond your power to take down alone.
What do you do?

bulbaquil
2014-12-07, 09:21 AM
Your best friend who has saved your life many times (or your significant other, if you have one), is being held by a powerful wizard, likely being tortured and about to be killed. You do not know why the wizard is doing this, but it is clear that he is well beyond your power to take down alone.
What do you do?

- My CG barbarian rushes in and tries to take him out anyway. If his other friends want to come along, they can, but they know the risks.
- My CG rogue will try to persuade people (i.e. an adventuring party) that an innocent person very important to him is in serious danger, promise them a share of the wizard's loot if they come along with him to try to help out, but make sure they're aware of the risks.
- My NE bard will try to persuade paladins or other goody-two-shoes types that an innocent person is in serious danger, and that they are bound by their own sense of honor to help out - if they should be so unfortunate as to die, they'll be martyrs for the cause of good, and will surely go to a celestial plane. Barring this, suggestion or lesser geas on a couple of fighter/rogue/low-Will-save types wouldn't go amiss. Actually go with them? Probably not.

Your character is informed that in thirty minutes, he/she will be transported, alone, to the Elemental Plane of Air, that he/she can take only two items in their inventory with them, and that any attempts to plane-shift out of it until a particular quest is complete will fail. What do they take?

Inevitability
2014-12-07, 10:41 AM
My air goblin sorcerer is actually kind of interested in going to the plane he has such a strong connection to. He takes his Spell Component Pouch and a dagger.

You are put at the command of a division of fifty honest and good soldiers who trust you completely, and then commanded to 'hold the line' in the epic battle for the city of Ulur'Rah. You see an overwhelmingly large number of enemies approach your location. If you were to flee, they'd have conquered a strategic point. However, fighting will possibly have the same result (depending on how fast reinforcements show up) but would cost the life of all of your men no matter what. What do you do?

Strigon
2014-12-07, 03:08 PM
You are put at the command of a division of fifty honest and good soldiers who trust you completely, and then commanded to 'hold the line' in the epic battle for the city of Ulur'Rah. You see an overwhelmingly large number of enemies approach your location. If you were to flee, they'd have conquered a strategic point. However, fighting will possibly have the same result (depending on how fast reinforcements show up) but would cost the life of all of your men no matter what. What do you do?

I tell them all the truth. I give each man the choice to flee if he wishes, and then begin devising a way to hold the line and save as many as possible, regardless of the futility of my plans.

You wake up in an enclosed room with four other people, each armed. You are also armed with a weapon you know how to use, but it's not yours. You see no doors, and you have no idea how you got there. The others seem to know as much as you do, and no matter how long you wait, nothing happens. Eventually you will go hungry and die of hunger/thirst, if you can't escape.
What do you do?

Darkmonger27
2014-12-08, 12:10 AM
I tell the idiot to my right that the person to his right called him fat. Then I tell the one to my left that both of them have been sleeping with his wife. While they are fighting, I take the last person and teleport out, using my spells.

Your party has "realized" that you've been the main villian the entire time. They begin to attack you. What do you do?

Kane0
2014-12-08, 06:10 AM
Dangit, they figured me out! I go nova and blast away the most dissenting of my party asap, then attempt to cow the remainder into not trying anything else. Then ill go hire some new replacements.

The town you walk into looks like it has recently been besieged. Apparently pirates have sailed up the river from the coast and taken a large portion of the population as slaves, which is very out of the ordinary. What do you do?

JDL
2014-12-08, 07:20 AM
My Aasimar Cleric of Oghma uses his massive diplomacy mod to charm the entire village into supporting his quest to free the slaves, then gathers his minions and storms their stronghold, staying back from the actual fighting and using his Travel domain teleportation spells if things start looking bad. He makes sure he gathers as much loot as possible for himself at the end to "further his missionary work."

You're travelling on a sailboat across the ocean when a Kraken attacks! What do you do?

Inevitability
2014-12-08, 12:20 PM
My LN evocation wizard knows an overpowering foe when he sees it. He tries to get as many people as possible aboard of rescue boats, as well as useful items and maps, then hopes to get at least part of the passengers and crew to safety.

You wake up in the camp of a group of people you have never seen before, but who claim you are a part of their party and have been traveling with them for years. Your own party is gone.

GrayGriffin
2014-12-08, 05:06 PM
Nira immediately suspects a trick, having dealt with mind-altering enemies before. She also calls out her Pokemon to try and get some idea of what they think about this. She also tries to figure out if they're where she and her old party previously were or somewhere completely different. However, for now, she'll go along with what this group is doing, but keep a sharp eye on them.

You discover that the true form of the enemy you have been fighting is a frail, weak creature. It's not begging you for mercy, but it's no longer trying to fight you, either.

Strigon
2014-12-08, 07:54 PM
I offer it one chance to surrender.

But I don't push the issue.



Your character is continually harassed by a young child, of about eight. You've tried to lose her, or tell her to leave, but she always comes back or ignores you. You've even gone so far as to have guards who owe you a favour stop her, but the next time you stopped to rest, she showed up again!
She's offered no explanation for her behaviour other than that she "thinks it's fun". It's getting a bit old, and someone might get hurt soon.
What do you do?

IZ42
2014-12-08, 10:14 PM
I grapple her/pick her up (without dealing damage, I just lock her down so she can't do anything, because LG) and tell her that we're going on an adventure. Proceed to do so, and train her as a fellow monk. Over the years I become a father figure, and she eventually leaves my company to teach the world of my philosophy and style of martial arts. I proceed to lead this newfound army like beowulf did in his last saga (minus the whole enemies running away) as an epic leveled VoP Saint/Celestial Blessed monk to destroy Tiamat. I die while fighting her and bring her down with me, becoming a minor diety.

EDIT: Forgot a what would you do. It's down below.


An empyreal lord offers to have one of his subjects(specifically a leonal) inhabit your body to guide you and help your combat against the forces of evil. What would you do?

Quiddle
2014-12-09, 10:34 AM
I put on my ring of protection from evil. I don't want to be some pawn, if they want to push some guy around they can find someone else.

You realize that your death is imminent and you can't do anything to stop it. What do you do with your last days alive?

IZ42
2014-12-09, 09:29 PM
I put on my ring of protection from evil. I don't want to be some pawn, if they want to push some guy around they can find someone else.

You realize that your death is imminent and you can't do anything to stop it. What do you do with your last days alive?


Waitwaitwaitwait... You're saying your putting on a ring of protection against evil to defend against an EMPYREAL lord, or am I reading wrong?

Inevitability
2014-12-10, 02:45 AM
Waitwaitwaitwait... You're saying your putting on a ring of protection against evil to defend against an EMPYREAL lord, or am I reading wrong?

PfE prevents all possession and mind control from occuring, not just that of Evil creatures. Using Protection From Good against a Pit Fiend would work too.

IZ42
2014-12-10, 07:28 AM
Hmph. Did not know that. By the way, my question might have been based on a true story.

Dire Moose
2014-12-10, 11:46 AM
I put on my ring of protection from evil. I don't want to be some pawn, if they want to push some guy around they can find someone else.

You realize that your death is imminent and you can't do anything to stop it. What do you do with your last days alive?

My CG ranger would seek out an extremely dangerous, most likely one-way mission to stop evil forces that threaten the world. If I have to die, I want it to be on my own terms and to make it count for something.

Your character faces a chamber in which he must face his/her greatest fear in a life-threatening way. How will you proceed and what preparations will you take?

GrayGriffin
2014-12-10, 12:28 PM
My CG ranger would seek out an extremely dangerous, most likely one-way mission to stop evil forces that threaten the world. If I have to die, I want it to be on my own terms and to make it count for something.

Your character faces a chamber in which he must face his/her greatest fear in a life-threatening way. How will you proceed and what preparations will you take?

Nathaniel's greatest fear is fire, or maybe the Houndour evolutionary line in particular. Or maybe it's losing those closest to him, but that seems more abstract. He sends out his Lampent Memo, who he asks to help absorb most of the flame. He also sends out Belle, his Crustle, and Rinn, his Ludicolo, to help support him as he walks through and put out flames as well.

Your character is asked by the guardian of the McGuffin you have been seeking to come along with them, or else you and all your friends will die. You know that if you do, your friends will be able to get the McGuffin, but nothing else about what will happen.

Strigon
2014-12-10, 06:49 PM
I go with him. After all, at worst I die saving the world. Not that bad, considering it was the most likely case anyway.

You realize that your best friend of many years isn't who they say they are. Despite still being your friend, they have become the embodiment of everything you despise (Paladin for a CE or CN character who really likes their freedom, a tyrant for a CG character, etc.)

Inevitability
2014-12-13, 10:53 AM
I try to put up with him, but after yet another mission fails due to my 'friend' ignoring the plan, I simply tie him up while he is sleeping (or knock him out after a hard fight) and hide him aboard a ship headed for the other side of the world. He used to be my friend, so I won't kill him, but I definitely won't be seeing him again.

During a hard battle against a powerful monster you are the only one left standing. The fell beast will probably kill you in one hit and then feast on you and your friends. As you wait for it to strike, you suddenly smell brimstone. Next to you stands a small imp, which grins and then quickly explains it wants to make a deal. You sell your soul, but the beast will be defeated. What do you do?

Aric Kale
2014-12-16, 10:30 AM
Marcus the Runist has too much honor to accept the aid of an imp...
He will fight to bus last breath, likely dying in the attempt.

You discover that the previously mentioned imp summoned the horrible monsters against your friends, leading to their deaths.
Do you hunt it, or leave it be?

Haruki-kun
2014-12-16, 05:07 PM
I would probably leave it be. Too scared to go after it. ._. Unless there was good pay...

You discover the local University has an item on display of great value. Do you go see it, go steal it, or just ignore it?

BlackCoatedMan
2014-12-19, 01:42 PM
I would probably leave it be. Too scared to go after it. ._. Unless there was good pay...

You discover the local University has an item on display of great value. Do you go see it, go steal it, or just ignore it?

He will go see the display, and inquire about it. If it would be something he wanted, he'd try to buy it. If it can't be bought, then he will summon rat ninjas to take it and replace it with what he thinks is the proper monetary compensation for the item.

You find yourself at a split in the path. To the left is a swamp, ahead is a forest, an to the right leads to a plain. Before the split path is a sign that reads. West: Easy, North: Medium, East: Hard. Where do you go?

Orm-Embar
2014-12-19, 05:17 PM
You find yourself at a split in the path. To the left is a swamp, ahead is a forest, an to the right leads to a plain. Before the split path is a sign that reads. West: Easy, North: Medium, East: Hard. Where do you go?

Interesting. Where was I trying to get to? The directions on the signs don't necessarily correspond to the actual directions of the paths. For that matter, the signs might not be accurate. I take a moment to rest and contemplate the signs, not forgetting to check my map, compass and any directions that I might have, and then I continue on the path that leads to the place where I was going - or if the correct path isn't obvious, I take the one that seems most likely to lead there. I leave the signs as they are, since other travelers might find them more helpful than I did.

goto124
2014-12-26, 11:19 PM
While travelling, you find a group of bullies punching up a victim. What do you do?

IZ42
2014-12-27, 12:22 AM
I whip out my revolver and give them one chance to stop. If they don't, I gun them down, no questions asked.


Some very drunk man decides to challenge you to a fist fight in the local pub. What do you do?

Zaydos
2014-12-27, 03:03 AM
My most recent character (a low wisdom unseelie fey dread necromancer) would just casually cast Blindness on him and then charnel touch the man into unconsciousness before robbing him.

A unicorn and a werebear accuse each other as being a disguised demon, arguing that you should help one slay the other to preserve the forest. What do you do?

Inevitability
2014-12-27, 04:40 AM
My Human Wizard smiles, then moves to his cleric friend. He politely asks for two flasks of holy water, paying for them if he has to. He then sprays the water over both warring forest creatures. The one who winces in pain and suddenly has his flesh molten away will be subject to horrible flaming death.

The lord of the city has been killed! His headless body was found lying in his wine cellar, next to his trembling butler (the head itself was nowhere to be found). The door was locked from the inside. Everyone in certain the butler did it, but he begs you to prove he is innocent. What do you do?

Aric Kale
2014-12-29, 03:04 PM
Now, this is right up Det's alley.
See, he's a investigator that gets his answers from spirits. He'll open up and ask the recently deceased King who killed him.

You're exploring a dormant volcano when you realize that it's beginning to erupt. What do you do?

miner3203
2015-01-16, 06:15 PM
My pyromaniac tiefling wizard casts Protection from Energy (Fire), borrows the Paladin's shield, and surfs out of the erupting volcano, leaving his friends to face their fate (and probably dimension door out).

An important allied NPC wants the powerful quest-influencing artifact. What do you do?

goto124
2015-01-17, 07:22 PM
Axanot will go get said MacGuffin artifact and give it to the NPC for good gold/equipment. If he meant to do evil things with it, she'll find out later and solve whatever problems that come up anyway, because heroic story and good endings and all that.

She's been in mostly video game stories, where the plot doesn't move on unless you hand the MacGuffin artifact over anyway.

The BBEG offers to give you the MacGuffin artifact if you don't kill him, what do you do?

Chadamantium
2015-01-18, 07:31 AM
Axanot will go get said MacGuffin artifact and give it to the NPC for good gold/equipment. If he meant to do evil things with it, she'll find out later and solve whatever problems that come up anyway, because heroic story and good endings and all that.

She's been in mostly video game stories, where the plot doesn't move on unless you hand the MacGuffin artifact over anyway.

The BBEG offers to give you the MacGuffin artifact if you don't kill him, what do you do?

Stalus would test the artifact to see if it is in fact the artifact in question. Using the villain as the target. Either the villain is affected(hopefully in a bad way) or Stalus becomes a very angry half dragon.

The mayor while, at a banquet, reveals he is an evil sorcerer and has poisoned all the guests including you. He then makes his escape through town. How do you react?

Fortuna
2015-01-18, 09:19 AM
Yaiven sits there concentrating on not dying while his friends solve the problem; his talents lie elsewhere.

The God of Ludicrously High-Stakes Gambling appears before you in a puff of smoke and offers you the chance to decide the fate of the world. One throw of the dice - fair dice, he promises you, what fun would it be if they were loaded. Odds, you decide the path of the next century or so of history. Evens, you and all your friends are his indentured servants for the next twenty years.

GreatWyrmGold
2015-01-18, 10:49 AM
My character is a human bard from 2nd edition, whose companions are a drow rogue, a wood elf ranger, and an alchemist who I think is a high elf. Maybe a gray one. Anyways, he'd take the deal; he expects the rogue's stupidity and insanity combined with the alchemist's pyromania and lack of common sense would cause us to get dismissed pretty quickly. Besides, the potential reward's pretty good, considering that the party's touched upon politics a few times (we own a large area of admittedly undeveloped land, which is more or less self-governing).

What would your character do if transported to either the Starship Enterprise (if he is from a fantasy world) or the Shire (if he is from a science fiction world)?

QuidEst
2015-01-24, 09:10 PM
Yelis (Sylvan Sorcerer) would proceed to freak the ever-living string-of-expletives-deleted out. If Waya, his wolf animal companion, got transported with him, she'd probably get very defensive of him, and get phaser'd into unconsciousness, at which point Yelis (not realizing that she was still alive) would whip out an illusion of him going all eldritch-abomination this-isn't-even-my-final-form with twelve-foot arms with far too many joints crawling out of his back and giant disembodied eyes orbiting his head, filming over with blood every time they blinked. As a general rule, he does not react well under pressure. If Waya weren't there, he'd probably toss as many charm spells out as he could and hole up somewhere as fast as possible, trying to work out how to get back.

Assuming there are people present, Caedis (Aberrant Bloodrager) would cast Mirror Image. For surprises, it's a pretty good defense to buy time. He'd back up, trying to talk with people. He'd know that as soon as he drew his falchion, they'd be able to see his terrifyingly mutated left arm (which actually has independent thought of its own). Once that happened, diplomatic options would be limited. If anybody fires, though, it's time to draw weapon, enter creepy silent rage, grow his arms to unnatural length by adding another section to them, and start carving his way through as many people as he can. Bloodragers gonna rage.

Your character wakes up with a splitting headache and a blur where last night was. They roll over in bed and see… their self, still asleep. What would your character do?

BlackCoatedMan
2015-01-29, 04:43 AM
Black Coated Man will rub his eyes in disbelief. He will then pinch his face. If the situation persists, he will then shout, "I call shenanigans!"

Your character is playing a game of cards (it can be Magic: the gathering, Pokemon, etc.) with four other friends. Suddenly it all becomes real.

JaminDM
2015-01-31, 02:47 PM
Nooooooooooooooo!

Inevitability
2015-02-13, 03:55 PM
Okay. I take it no one is going to respond to that last one after two weeks. Allow me to replace it, in the spirit of tomorrow.

An anonymous love letter adressed to your character suddenly appears in front of him. What do you do?

IZ42
2015-02-13, 04:16 PM
He wonders who's playing a joke on him, because not many people seem to like a 6' 6" warforged barbarian with biotechnology growing out of him.


A dark and mysterious stranger asks you to complete a quest for him. What do you do?

goto124
2015-02-14, 10:27 AM
'So, how much gold and XP for the quest? Or what sort of cool equipment as reward? Wait, is this a Tabletop or MMO?'

1 million gold suddenly appears in your character's bank account or equivalent! Now what?

Inevitability
2015-02-14, 11:53 AM
My LG Aasimar Bard can't believe his eyes at first. He'll use his status as a magistrate to check if one million GP has suddenly disappeared anywhere, returning it if that is the case. If he can't find the source, he spends most of it to improve people's quality of life, plus some to build a temple to his deity. The remaining gold is safely stored somewhere in case of emergency.

Your character wakes up buried alive! You can't breathe, don't know how deep you are trapped, and will probably last only a few minutes before suffocating.

QuidEst
2015-02-14, 12:06 PM
For Kyoni, it depends. If she's undergone her ritual transformation into a Rakshasa, she'd probably sit back, relax, and try to enjoy the oxygen deprivation before she dies and reincarnates. If she hasn't done that yet, she'd freak out and start bargaining with any evil deity that would listen.

Your character has been challenged to a duel of honor. Just how honorably is that gonna go down?

Dudeons
2015-02-14, 12:37 PM
Brass Monocle, the Earth pony detective, is normally against violence. In a fight, Brass would act like the dignified and honorable fellow that he is, but this would serve as a cover for shameless exploitation of weaknesses that his powers of observation would allow.

Your character gets a mysterious letter telling them that appearing in a certain isolated location would be very beneficial for them. What would convince them to go along with it?

wkwkwkwk1
2015-02-15, 05:28 PM
Your character gets a mysterious letter telling them that appearing in a certain isolated location would be very beneficial for them. What would convince them to go along with it?

One of several of my animal-loving (usually elven and CG) rangers would go if there was a promise of either cuddly animals or a favored enemy waiting to be killed.

Your character finds himself on an island bereft of human life, with all kinds of climates available around the island (yeah, it's pretty big), with no food, water, gear, or even clothing. What would he do?

(You may consider the island as being under the effect of a permanent anti-teleportation spell)

Neli42
2015-02-28, 09:44 PM
Rhona, the barbarian sorceress, is skilled at survival. And since the death of her twin brother, Vörđr, she has become accustomed to being alone – even in company – though she never truly enjoys the solitude. She would immediately establish a shelter, locate a fresh water source, and fashion a body covering and weapon from what native materials she would find. Once these immediate needs had been met, she would be at liberty to walk the circumference of the island to scope out the lay of the land, see if there were another location more favorable, spy any settlements, etc.


You find yourself in a lush valley where everything seems to be hyper-real. The colors of the vegetation are super saturated, the air more oxygenated, the sounds more live. As you pass time here, you notice that, though there are birds and insects, there are no large animals, and no people save you and your companions. The sun never moves in the sky. You experience neither hunger, fatigue, nor thirst. None of you can remember which direction the pathway lies that brought you into the valley. Attempts to teleport out fail.

Trevortni
2015-03-10, 07:07 PM
GORP, the Gnome Barbarian Ice Mage, asks some local burrowing creatures what the deal is with this place. Assuming no useful response, she tries summoning her second best friend, the Avatar of Ice, to see if she has any ideas. If there are still no clues, she begins methodically searching the area looking for a way out - but still enjoys her time in this domain, and time spent with her friends. If she finds a way out, good; if not, she is determined to make the most of her time here. Hopefully her husband is among her companions, to make this even more enjoyable; even if she finds a way out right away, she's going to make sure she experiences some hyper-real lovemaking. Maybe raising some children/grandchildren/many-times-great-grandchildren is an option. But who knows - maybe this is the afterlife, and if a subjectively long time passes, she will try that meditation/transcendence thing she's hear about on her travels, and see how that works for her.

While adventuring through the lair of the BBEG, you come across a room in which a half-dozen or so humans are playing some strange dice game. After killing first, you decide to ask questions, and discover that each of the humans but one has a piece of paper with the name of one of the people in your party, containing a complete list of your inventories and spells, as well as many cryptic acronyms, numbers, and lists of things you are capable of doing. The final human has the same for every monster you have defeated in the evil lair, as well as some you haven't yet encountered, including the BBEG.

goto124
2015-03-10, 08:40 PM
Kelcey will attempt to talk to the DM and ask what's going on- is it PvP with heavy metagaming, or a bunch of cheating DMPCs? If Kelcey can't change the DM's mind, she'll give up and go back to her island. What sort of quest is this?

You're in a dark room. The only other person in the room, is a man who appears to be mentally challenged.

Xihirli
2015-04-19, 01:55 PM
Kelcey will attempt to talk to the DM and ask what's going on- is it PvP with heavy metagaming, or a bunch of cheating DMPCs? If Kelcey can't change the DM's mind, she'll give up and go back to her island. What sort of quest is this?

You're in a dark room. The only other person in the room, is a man who appears to be mentally challenged.

I set him aflame in order to illuminate the gloom.
What? I could've just used Dancing Lights? That's no fun at all!

Someone just set your mentally challenged friend on fire to illuminate the gloom.

Dr.Orpheus
2015-04-19, 05:53 PM
Revenge Man casts bestow curse to redirect the burning condition to the arsonist and leads his wounded friend away while casting his signiture rude hand gesture shaped stinking cloud behind him to conceale his escape.

You are traped head first in the blowhole of a sophocating whale swiming away from the ship with your party.

Neli42
2015-05-02, 01:55 AM
Rhona has no trouble wrenching herself free of the blowhole of the whale - although it would not be a graceful scene - thereby saving both herself and the whale from suffocation. She would them swim back through the turbulent waters toward her party's ship, trusting in Aerfen to be on the lookout for her.

You and your companions have just stopped a group of local townsfolk led by their cleric from vandalizing a recently excavated library that they believe to be cursed. The mob has dispersed back to their homes, but in the fray you find yourselves now in custody of the bound and gagged cleric under the effects of a sleeping spell in the middle of a field, and the middle of the night. Now what?

Tentreto
2015-05-02, 05:00 AM
My bard would probably begin to look around very carefully and would draw his short sword. Furthermore he would try and quickly light a small fire a little away from the paladin to provide warmth, and hopefully a beacon for his team mates to find him. He is trying not to think that the fire could also attract other things, but he knows its gonna be an all nighter.


You are currently in disguise as a guard at a Duke's court who you have been asked to 'dispose of'. However, the Duke has come to you, and offered you a chance to guard the royal treasury, where he has been reputedly tinkering with something which he has described in passing as 'vital to the world'.

PurityIcekiller
2015-05-02, 02:02 PM
Night Jewel would accept the Duke's offer, and take advantage of the new position to spy on the project and learn its dirty little secret. She'd then figure out the loyalties of his other guards and servants and work on turning them to her side; she'd present dutiful ones with evidence of his misdeeds and bribe corrupt ones with the contents of the treasury. Then, with all the pieces in motion, she would incite an uprising of the guards and use it as cover to raid the treasury and either steal the project itself or take an incriminating part of it and just ensure that the rest won't work properly. She'll then sneak off, leaving him to deal with, in order, all of his followers trying to kill him and his reputation being ruined by everyone nearby learning his evil schemes. Even if he survives, all of his power is gone.

(Note: The above assumes the Duke is evil. If he's neutral, she'd either leave him alone or loot his treasury and go depending on how annoying he is, and if he's actually good, she'd drop any other assignments to help him.)

An evil necromancer has captured you with plans to turn you into his undead minion. His minions are getting ready to perform their unspeakable rituals when the necromancer starts monologuing. Typical.

QuidEst
2015-05-02, 02:12 PM
Silent Still Mage Hand and a piece of chalk will mess up any ritual something fierce. :smallamused: Oh, you wanted the necromantic murder-energies to go where again? So sorry about that!

Q: Your character inadvertently freed a genie… they think. One failed Knowledge (Planes) later, they aren't quite sure if this is one of the friendly varieties or not. They have been offered a wish by a maybe-genie who seems to be smiling quite a bit. What do they do?

IZ42
2015-05-02, 03:34 PM
Ugh... A simple Detect Good solves that quite easily. Unless they're using Misdirection, which doesn't actually appear to be on any of the Genie's SLA lists, Good or Evil. If they're Neutral or Good, I really have nothing to worry about. Unless the GM is a bad person, and decides that every outsider capable of granting a wish is out to get me, then we have a whole different problem, of course.


Oh dear, You seem to have been plane shifted to Abaddon. It seems that by some form of extremely bad luck, you were placed in front of Charon, Daemon Horseman of Death. They appear to be rather hungry. At least, hungry for something other than traditional fare. What do you do?

Dr.Gunsforhands
2015-05-02, 07:00 PM
paradiseSieged: Well, first things first, I ask the big scary person what she wants and why she brought me here.
paradiseSieged: Then, I assume I'll bake her a big ham dinner and put my nautical engineering skills to work fixing Charon's afterlife-boat.
paradiseSieged: It's long overdue, really. Transporting the dead souls of an entire civilization takes its toll on a little gondola like that.

As for you, next PC, you've been asked to defend a castle against an incoming attack. The enemy forces will arrive within the next two days, and the castle itself seems to be made of flimsy cardboard. Any ideas on how to help prepare?

zeifly
2015-05-03, 07:55 PM
Well, I need to know several factors, how many men do I have, how big is the approaching army (I'm assuming fairly large), and what resources do I have at my disposal. Assuming I can acquire the right materials, I could cast a large illusion over the castle to make it seem sturdier than it actually is. After that is complete, I round up all the men and give a stirring speech about patriotism, honor, courage, and gold!

Are you prepared BPM? You find yourself on an airship travelling across the realm. Suddenly, the ship is attacked by elven sky pirates. They outnumber you 3 to 1 and have the element of surprise. To add to this, the captain of the airship has fallen ill with a nasty virus. How do you respond?

Emperordaniel
2015-05-03, 08:13 PM
It all depends on how the crew has been treating me and my followers so far - if we've been treated well, I cast Cure Disease on the captain and help in the airship's defense; if I decide we haven't been treated well, though, I join in an alliance with the pirates, however temporary, and assist them in taking over the airship. I may or may not claim it for myself afterwards, depending on how things go and how much the odds are stacked against me and mine.

You are fighting a pitched battle against enemy forces besieging the capital city, with the outcome hanging in the balance. Suddenly, word is brought to you that the Queen for whose cause you were fighting has been struck down, and her position has been overrun by the opposition. What do you do?

Jormengand
2015-05-03, 08:24 PM
Get my cleric buddy to use true resurrection, pronto. Wonder why she was too stupid to say my name which would have let me teleport there as a free action. Shrug, teleport to her position anyway, and solo whoever killed her. Return to front lines and nuke enemy army.

You wake up in a basement. In the basement are five shocked-looking figures sat around a table, with pieces of paper, strange wooden objects that you guess to be bound sticks of charcoal for writing, and models of your adventuring party minus you mounted on round bases. There is a spare round base with no-one on sitting in the location you were in a moment ago. What do you do?

Xihirli
2015-05-04, 02:44 PM
Meteor.
Swarm.

You have defeated an army three times the size of your own army at the price of 90% of your own troops. Suddenly all of the dead troops on both sides get back up and turn on you. Among the new undead army are your own clerics, leaving no ability to Turn Undead or heal your side's many injuries. Your castle for defense is made of cardboard for some reason.

Go.

IZ42
2015-05-04, 04:34 PM
Ugh, undead again? I simultaneously switch on my holy aura and let my positive energy aura take over, utterly destroying the undead. I then recycle the cardboard and use the funds to build a new monastery.

Unfortunately, the quarry for the monastery collapses into a sinkhole with you in it.

QuidEst
2015-05-04, 04:40 PM
Unfortunately, the quarry for the monastery collapses into a single with you in it.

:smallconfused:?

IZ42
2015-05-04, 05:04 PM
:smallconfused:?

Typo. Meant Sinkhole but Autocorrect is apparently a ninja.

You saw nothing.

Xihirli
2015-05-07, 02:38 PM
Because no one is responding...

I 'port the stones through a portal and they're teleported directly above TPBM.

So it's lazy. It's a thing.

Trevortni
2015-05-09, 02:37 PM
In an extremely bizarre twist of circumstance, I am creating a portal to a completely different location exactly where your exit portal was intended to be. The conflicting magics, combined with the mass of the rocks, collapse into a singularity. The singularity then turns against humanity, as singularities are wont to do, and sends a Terminator against TPBM, who slaps his/her head at the horrible pun just a little bit too hard....

Targ Collective
2015-05-09, 04:50 PM
A Terminator? I point out that time travel is impossible, and if it is possible, it can't actually *change* the timeline unless there are multiple serial timelines. I provide extensive proof of this. The Terminator realises that its mission is doomed to failure from the start and self terminates. (It is authorised to do so in case of irreparable mission failure).

I then turn to the singularity and absorb it into my ball of Light. The Light wins out - as it always does in the end - and there is a sudden and inexplicable shower of boiled lobsters.

At this point that general who has been bothering me complains that this has become far too silly. I explain, with mathematical proofs, that this is really no business of the General and in any case what business is it of his?

At this point, I smile and vanish in a burst of Light, leaving a (pleasant but unexpected) gift for TPBM.

Emperordaniel
2015-05-09, 07:53 PM
I graciously accept the gift and give one in return.

You are walking through a forest on a leisurely stroll, when you hear a roar and a shout of pain. Running to see what the commotion was about, you see a huge, grisly, grizzly bear bearing down on a half-mauled, half-unconscious armored knight. The bear doesn't seem to have noticed you yet. What do you do?

Xihirli
2015-05-10, 01:02 PM
I abandon the man to die a grizzly death.

You have just been abandoned to die a grizzly death.

Dire Moose
2015-05-11, 12:00 AM
I use my wand of Cure Light Wounds to repair the damage, then attempt to use Wild Empathy to get the bear to back down, going for my greatsword in the event it doesn't work.

I then run after the guy who abandoned me to my grizzly fate.

You see an angry man with a greatsword charging at you.

Emperordaniel
2015-05-11, 01:23 AM
I cast Hold Person, and try to determine his motives for charging at me. If I deem it to be in my best interest - especially if there is a profit to be made from it - then I release my spell and agree to assist him in achieving his goals.

While visiting a newly-opened adamantine mine in a remote region of your lands, you and a handful of others were trapped by a cave-in deep down beneath the surface. You've been trying to dig, blast, and magic your way out for over a month now, but have been making little to no progress (the mine being located in a Dead/Null/Anti-Magic region desolated by a long-forgotten arcane war, all but a handful of spells are outright useless, and the ones that do work are a lot weaker than they would normally be). Now you've just run out of the last of the rationed emergency food packets, and one of the miners who was trapped down with you seems to be getting ill. What do you do?

Xihirli
2015-05-11, 02:22 PM
Well, I'll have to boil him to make the food rations work out, won't I? Otherwise his meat will make me sick. That way I'll live long enough to eventually bust my way out of here with my weakened magic. And some new adamantine scimitars.

You are a dragon in a shopping mall.

Targ Collective
2015-05-11, 07:07 PM
No, no, this is what would *your* character do, not what would *my* character do.

Xihirli
2015-05-12, 02:03 PM
Yes, I've given you a situation for YOUR character. And YOUR character, for whatever reason, is now a dragon in a shopping mall. What does YOUR character do?

Indarra
2015-05-12, 05:25 PM
I guess I'll have to get new clothes to suit my new biology. I go to the Ross section.

You are under attack by an army of dragons from How to Train Your Dragon.

Emperordaniel
2015-05-13, 03:16 AM
Well, "dying" wasn't on my schedule for today, so... *retreats*

After a long struggle, you have burst into the home of your mortal enemy, only to notice him apparently reading a bedtime story to his young granddaughter. What do you do?

Trevortni
2015-05-13, 11:46 PM
Quick check: Illusion? No? Okay, just had to confirm.

I recognize the story: it's one of his struggles against me. But he's telling it ALL wrong! I must correct him. And he- come on, you call that storytelling?! Okay, okay, you stand here - wait, wait, you need a weapon. Here, grab that poker from the fireplace. Yeah, that's the one. Now stand - what, did you trade in all your martial levels for NPC classes? Sheesh! Okay, so you did this, and then I - but no, what I actually did doesn't make a good story.....

Three hours later, the kiddo's asleep in her bed, and my ex and I (exes make the best archenemies, I always did say) are asleep in his bed. I really have got to stop making my assassination attempts during family time.... But the kids always enjoy it....



You have finally tracked down the object of your quest: an orb that, when held, and the command word you found a week ago is spoken, will kill all the current pantheon of deities and replace them with whoever activated it, and continue to fill the pantheon with whoever follows the first person. And it is now within your grasp!

Xihirli
2015-05-14, 06:13 AM
AAAAHAAHAAAHAAAHAAAAHAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!


I use it and rule the world with a standard-issue DIVINE scimitar and some ACTUAL meteor swarms. My first action as THE ALMIGHTY LORD OF EVERYTHING is to destroy the orb that I used and scatter its remains into dozens of different stars.


An evil, scimitar-fascinated drow has just killed a pantheon of gods (let's randomly say the Eastern ones) and taken his rightful place as divine ruler.

Indarra
2015-05-14, 05:32 PM
That... could not have gone to a worse person.
Since you're a newly formed deity, I pray to the Northern gods and they decide that they didn't have a peace agreement with you, but with the gods you killed. So they gang-rush you and Thor smashes you to death before you become fully immortal.
Generic Cleric for the win!

You have been given Iron Man armor.

Inevitability
2015-05-15, 03:36 AM
I use it to be AWESOME.

You get to choose between getting 100 GP, or having a 1% chance to get 10,000 GP.

goto124
2015-05-19, 10:44 PM
Latter. 100 GP is nothing to KC. Granted, 10k GP is nothing to hir either, what with hir pockets bursting at the seams with riches from adventuring the world with hir girlfriend. If ze doesn't get the gold, it's okay. If ze is lucky enough to get the 10k, ze'll donate it to the nearest orphanage/old folks' home/temple, and briefly mention how ze got it if it's impressive. When your morality is largely grey, it helps to at least look Good.

Your character is in a city. An authority figure approaches and asks where and how to get into the nearest brothel. Your character knows, but it's unclear what the authority figure is going to do with the information, not to mention what will happen to the brothel. What now?

QuidEst
2015-05-19, 10:50 PM
Well, if they're good enough looking, Kyoni would probably ask why they'd want to pay for what they can get for free. Either she gets to enjoy watching them try to explain or excuse themselves, or she gets a bit of fun. Besides, she doesn't want her favorite brothel getting shut down. She might even go visit it disguised as the authority figure.

Your character is hard up for some fast cash for one reason or another. How do they get it?

Xihirli
2015-05-20, 01:10 PM
Find a person who has money.
Scimitar.

You had godlike power and invincibility, the ability to control the world and rebuild it in your own elfishly handsome image. Then it was taken from you by INDARRA and her goons.
*Cries*

Trevortni
2015-05-21, 03:00 PM
Awesome! Ultimate power was boring, anyway. Now, let's go find one of the adventure hooks I planted and then wiped the details of from my memory when I saw the way the divine winds were blowing....

You find a working steam engine in a setting where there is no technology near that level.

Emperordaniel
2015-05-21, 04:09 PM
I build a railway (the tech for the tracks themselves has been around for millennia, unless the setting is in the Stone Age or something) and get rich off the profits use it to advocate my agenda of Aggressive Neutrality. :smalltongue:

After barely surviving an explosion which knocked you unconscious, you wake up to find yourself in a seemingly prehistoric jungle, filled with all manner of nasty beasties and creepy-crawlies. There are no sapient life forms to be found. What do you do?

Xihirli
2015-05-23, 08:33 PM
Well, first I'd drink a potion. Then I'd use up all of my Charm Monster and Dominate Monster spells to turn the area into my own private estate guarded by a legion of monsters.
Then I'd conquer the world.

A legion of monsters is invading your kingdom.

Dr.Gunsforhands
2015-05-23, 09:01 PM
psychoPathologist: What kind of monsters? Are they sapient? You say they're a legion, does that mean that they're under someone's command? Who would that be? Why would they want to siege a kingdom? This warrants further investigation!

...Oh, right, it's you, trying to take over the world. Emmett tracks you down, "somehow," and pesters you with endless personal questions.

psychoPathologist: Of course you realize that being a world leader is quite a responsibility! What were you intending to do with that kind of power? Would you say that your primary motivation was to earn everyone's respect? Why do you resort to using force when people call you a tyrant? How does that make you feel?

---

You are camping in the cold wilderness, and awake to find that your boots and most of your clothes are missing! Upon any attempt to summon new ones, you also find that magic doesn't seem to function here. A cursory investigation reveals goblin footprints in the snow, leading far into the hills.

What do?

ImSAMazing
2015-06-03, 11:27 AM
You are camping in the cold wilderness, and awake to find that your boots and most of your clothes are missing! Upon any attempt to summon new ones, you also find that magic doesn't seem to function here. A cursory investigation reveals goblin footprints in the snow, leading far into the hills.

What do?

My Warlock would ask his Patron if she knows about this, and then just runs after the tracks to find and kill the goblins

Situation: You are just laying down in your fortress, when a meteor swarm starts...

Emperordaniel
2015-06-03, 04:45 PM
I run outside with a telescope and try to grab a few samples after the swarm is over, taking notes the whole time. You did mean that kind of meteor swarm, right? :smalltongue:

You're fast asleep at home when suddenly these army-type guys come rolling through the small town you're currently living in, demanding that everyone must evacuate the area NOW. They will not tell you why, but insist that it's for your own safety and that you really must come with them and why aren't you moving along already???

Xihirli
2015-06-03, 05:02 PM
I meteor swarm them all to death for their insolence and then get a golem-maker to raise them as an army. I soon conquer the town and begin to make everyone in it golems.

Looking to expand my collection of golems, I send them to kill everyone in the next town over, where TPBM happens to be.

Dr.Gunsforhands
2015-06-06, 04:32 PM
I help my family retreat to the wilderness, see if any of my friends can get some anti-golem traps or weapons, and resolve to take Golems as my next ranger favored enemy.

A scorpion the size of a barn has picked up one of your civilian friends and seems to be lovingly stroking them with its pincers. What do?

Inevitability
2015-06-07, 10:43 AM
My fighter relies on his camel being faster than a giant scorpion, and throws a javelin at the beast. If the scorpion is faster than expected, a desperate Animal Handling check may be attempted.

The end of the world has come, and there is no one to stop it. A horrifying elder evil has awakened below the metropolis you are in, and is now turning the city in his own distorted world. Thousands of people are trying to flee, but physics seem to have started working weirdly. Wait, did I just walk by that building for the seventeenth time?

Oddman80
2015-06-08, 11:26 AM
My Burglar Rogue would use this breakdown of physics a s a distraction and go all in on a series of high risk/high reward burglaries as he tries to turn his modest apartment into the most decadent chamber - worthy of a king. After all - if this is the end, its best to go out in style.

You wake up with the feeling of wind through you hair... actually, it feels like wind through your entire body... you open your eyes only to find you are in a free fall 3,000 feet above the ground. a quick look around and you see that a number of crates and livestock also seem to be in free-fall with you.
what do you do?

Xihirli
2015-06-08, 12:24 PM
Plane shift to the semi-elemental plane of ranch dressing! Though, depending on how long I've been falling, that might be no better...
Or feather fall... or a flight spell... or polymorph into something that flies.

My golems are still out there, with the addition of another town. They are hunting you in the forest, swatting aside the trees in their way and demolishing all the cover in the area. They will not stop hunting you...

Targ Collective
2015-06-12, 04:21 PM
I use my Divine Power to seal the magic of the one who did this, then deal with the golem situation - leaderless, they should be easy enough to deal with.

Alright. I'll have some fun with this one.

You go to sleep in a deserted moor, and when you awaken, find yourself at the foot of a large tower. You enter, and find it is full of blinding white Light.

Shielding your eyes, you climb to the top to find a kindly looking man dressed in white robes.

"Hallo" he says amicably. "I can grant you one Wish now, or you can perform a simple task and get two Wishes, undergo a minor quest for three Wishes, or perhaps undergo real life threatening danger for more. I will provide you everything you need to succeed in the task you choose, but you won't be able to choose your own equipment - don't worry, it will all make sense. In time."

"If you arrange to be my... Eyes and ears... in the world below - something I think you are eminently suited for - then you will find the Wishes flow quite swiftly, with a minimum of hazard unless the Black Duke gets involved. I think that would be best for both of us myself. But if you want to cut and run with enough Wishes to make much of a difference... Well. That kind of privilege has to be earned."

He idly snatches a milky white orb out of - well, it looks like he snatched it out of the air - and says, 'Naturally, the wishes are to be given on completion of the task. If you accept this wish without earning it, then you will lose your opportunity."

He sighs, and adds, "And I must go through the vexing business of finding someone ELSE."

"So", he concludes, "What's it to be, champion?"

Inevitability
2015-07-01, 11:35 AM
My paladin, who is knowledgeable (or gullible, as the case may be) enough to recognize this person as a powerful agent of Good. He accepts all and any tasks given to him, and uses the wishes to exterminate several common diseases.

A small border town is suddenly attacked by red slaadi, who disappear as swiftly as they have come. As you inspect the villagers, you find that all are still alive, and those who fell were merely knocked out instead of killed outright. A moment later, however, you realize how red slaadi reproduce; they implant tadpoles into their victims which hatch into more slaadi after several days. Now, with over fourty infected people and not much time, you stand faced with a gruesome dilemma...

Dr.Gunsforhands
2015-07-05, 01:29 AM
Kaytu the Cleric quickly breaks out the healer's kit, asks for help from local mundane healers, and tells the patients to remain calm as she begins triage. The egg-removal surgery is painful, but not nearly as painful as getting eaten from the inside out, and she has enough healing magic to make as many attempts as it takes. If she runs out of time... well, she'll worry about that if and when it comes up.

Meanwhile, your adventuring party goes off in search of the fiends. Hot on their trail, your party tracker suddenly stops, silent. He turns, revealing an absent look in his eye as he draws his weapons and attacks you! The cackle of an invisible hag indicates who is truly behind this treachery, but she seems to be either hiding really well or just staying out of range of your divinations. Either way: What do?

Neli42
2015-07-10, 03:25 AM
I am Rhona, the barbarian sorceress. I immediately cast a sleep spell on Patrin so no harm can come to the other members of the party - or to him as we defend ourselves - while he is in thrall to the hag. I then call on Bendebaen, cleric of Apollo, to dispel her invisibility spell. It is then a simple matter to overpower and dispatch the hag. Especially if she makes me mad...

--------------------------------------
You've seen no one on the roads of this town, and no one coming in from the fields. No children play in the square, and the mill wheel turns but grinds no grain. Adding to your uneasiness is the fact that there are no animals to be seen, either flocks or game. When you step through the already open door of the inn, you are relieved to see a man drying a jack with a rag. You order an ale and a bowl of whatever is in the pot for each member of the party, and he silently disappears into the kitchen.

You wait an unreasonably long time for the man to return with food and drink. When he does not respond to your loud calls from the front of the house, you leave your companions and move into the kitchen to see for yourself what could possibly be taking him so long to draw ale and scoop stew. The silent man is directly across the kitchen from you, with his back toward your entry. He seems to be puttering about meaningless kitchen tasks. Next to him, staring at you is a hollow-eyed, pale-faced, dirty and unkempt man, with his hand on the silent man's shoulder. Another man of much the same ilk is standing along the side wall, also staring at you. On the floor in the middle of you all is what appears to be the body of a dead woman, with her hands stretched toward the fire.

What do you do?

Xihirli
2015-07-10, 08:04 AM
I grab an ale and get out. Then I realize that I am a comically bad drinker and get drunk on the first sip. I challenge everyone in that room to a brawl and they beat me down. One of them says;
"How did he get seventh-level spells with such low wisdom and intelligence scores?"
"Maybe he's a sorcerer/fighter. We don't know. He just said "battlemage," both wizards and sorcerers are called mages."
"Well, yeah, but does he have any charisma at all?"
"Well, he is by far the most handsome specidrow I've ever seen, plus I suspect he was a lawyer at one point."
"Ah, that explains his wrestling moves. I remember some of those from my moose-wrangling days."
"The three-legged pregnant ones were the toughest, weren't they?"
"Ayup."
At this point, I will awaken and Scimitar their faces off and slap them with their peeled-off faces until they die of shock and blood loss.

A demon approaches you with a knife.
"If you allow me to cut off a slip of your skin, I will grant you the powers of the olden prophets. You will part seas, win battles with your hands, and cause food to rain from the heavens. But I get to pick where I cut."

Orm-Embar
2015-07-10, 06:51 PM
"What do you take me for? I'm not that kind of wizard!"

Never trust anything that calls itself a demon. There are so many reasons not to do this. Whatever it wants that skin for, it's nothing good. Besides, I doubt it can follow through on its part of the bargain - or would if it could. No, the proper way for a wizard to deal with a demon involves summoning it, under proper control, and giving it clear and concise orders to carry out - not negotiating with the damned thing.

Not only do I not take the deal, I earn some sweet sweet XP by banishing the creature to the Abyss. Or wherever it is that demons like to hang out.

************************************************** ******************************************

Your journey through the Dread Forest - alone, might I add - has been long and boring. However, after many days' travel, you stumble on something interesting: a small band of 20 or so men and women gathered together by the side of the path. They're a rugged looking bunch. All are armed with long knives and bows, and a few even have swords, but they have no armor and are dressed rough for travel on foot through the woods. Some of them appear to be playing at dice, others eating and drinking, or talking quietly together. When you appear, one of them calls out, "Greetings, traveler! Come sit, share our fire and have a drink with us. Don't be frightened, none of us are werewolves." That gets a low laugh from some of the group. They look at you expectantly to see how you react...

Dr.Gunsforhands
2015-07-11, 03:08 AM
As a witch who receives nightly premonitions from some minor moon goddess, I can claim some foreknowledge of the band's nature. They are allies of the moon, thieves but not killers, and given my meager resources I have little to fear from them. Also, I think that werewolves are actually pretty chill in this setting.

Someone gives your character a gun, saying that it's a powerful weapon. It's not that big, but it's incredibly heavy - too heavy for your arms to carry. Still, it's gotta be worth something, right? What do?

Prince Zahn
2015-07-22, 04:30 PM
Well, as my little soothsayer, I would be startled that something that heavy dropped unto my hands, tenderly asks one of the stronger men to be a dear and carry it for her. She would briefly stare into the future to see who she should trust with it.

Your character's teammates are signing up to a to-the-death arena as part of your quest. There is still room to join if you like. There are a few shady gentlemen wagering on the fights in the corner, if you listen in, you'll notice that they are being against your teammates. What does your character do?

Xihirli
2015-07-23, 07:40 AM
I have teammates? In the night, I kill them all for XP and level up enough times to win the gladiator battle myself. It might push my Mage levels into the Epic zone.
Too bad I hardly know any spells. Let's see... I can cast more Meteor Swarm.

Several of your uncles went into a gladiatorial battle and a mage killed them all, but was out of spells at the end.
Your response?

Inevitability
2015-07-23, 08:09 AM
Given that my characters uncles:

1. Live a few thousand miles away from him.
2. Live somewhere with no arenas around.
3. Are all moderately strong to strong paladins.

He'd have good reasons to not intervene. At the moment, he's busy trying to find out if the world is really going to end in a few weeks. Oh, and keeping the two egocentrical sociopaths who consider him his leader in check.


Your character wakes up... and finds himself floating in midair, at least a few miles above the ground. Clouds prevent you from seeing the earth. No matter how much you try to, you find you can't move up or down. Movement in other directions goes fine, though. What do you do?

101jir
2015-07-23, 10:13 AM
My centaur monk tries to control his frustration, but becomes overwhelmed. First, he attempts to wake up. Next, a check is made to determine if he is aware of any magic that could be doing it, then another check to see if he is aware of a counter check. Failing that, he eventually accepts his fate.

An evil human archmage is about to get ambushed by steampunk dwarves in cannon balloons. However, with unlimited access to teleportation, the moment he becomes aware of these blimps he will just leave. You are in the immidiate proximity of him, but if you stay to distract him you could get blown up too. What do you (or rather what does your character) do?

Prince Zahn
2015-07-23, 10:41 AM
My Thri-kreen barbarian (recruitment in progress) understands very keenly that this is a fantastic time to make an opportunity attack. Things might have been different, though, had mages not be so reviled in the game he's built for, or if the Archmage at least offered to take me with him.

A mysterious mutant elder evil has awoken, and is humoring itself by slapping your character silly with the oversized tips of its appendages. What do you do?

Orm-Embar
2015-07-23, 06:00 PM
Why, summon a greater ancient evil to knock some sense into it, of course. What could possibly go wrong?

TPBM, you find yourself in a race against a more powerful band of adventurers (let's assume they are the evil ones! or at least, your sworn enemies, or maybe they just took a paycheck from somebody else). You have discovered a Forgotten City in which, after a day and a night of exploration, you find an abandoned palace full of Gold, Jewels and Objets d'Art. Too much for you to carry away, in fact - far, far too much. You are running low on food, water and bug spray. The enemy (rivals, competition, whatever) could stumble upon you at any moment. What will you do?

Xihirli
2015-07-23, 06:39 PM
Any one of a number of things.
a. Bribe the opposing team if they were hired to attack me, buying me all the time I need and perhaps even buying supplies from them.
b. Take as much as I can carry, Teleport back to town, buy a whole bunch of spells, weapons, and armor, and then kill all of the rival adventurers, buying myself all the time I need.
c. Plane Shift the riches into my personal Demi-Plane for later use and move on.
d. Wire thousands of explosives in the gold place, leave enough clues that the rivals can find it and trigger the traps, and run. Run. Sure, I could teleport, but that would be smart.
e. Kill one of them, steal the body, animate dead, cast a whole bunch of enchantments on vir, and send vir back to kill vir party. Repeat as necessary.
f. No, that's it. I'm out of ideas.
g. *Meteor Swarm*
Someone has teleported trillions of dollars in gold into several cities, selling it all off as quickly as possible. Gold quickly loses its value as this happens all over the world. Whole economies collapse as gold becomes a worthless yellow rock.

@Dr.G: You're a livestock herder? I... you have GUNS for HANDS.

Dr.Gunsforhands
2015-07-23, 10:25 PM
...okay. I never had much gold in the first place, and my family deals mostly in goats and stuff, so as near as I can tell we're coming out ahead. :smalltongue:

More by luck than anything, you and your friends have just barely managed to bring down a powerful psionic psychopath. Over the course of the next couple weeks, you notice that one of your party members has started to act a bit strangely - adopting the villain's forced accent, getting a fluffy angora cat, that sort of thing. Knowing the nature of the villain, you know dang well what these symptoms could mean (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/psionic/powers/mindSeed.htm). What do you do about it?

IZ42
2015-07-24, 01:45 AM
Seeing as I have reached deific power after being blessed by a celestial and slaying a major aspect of Tiamat, I simply use a fraction of my power to destroy the mind seed and return my friend back to their normal state. I then go on a party with my friends from my adventuring days, and attempt to get smashed with the aid of a demi-god and son of Dionysus. Not sure luck came into play, though.

You have managed to attract the rather unwanted sort of attention of a minor diety. He appears to be slightly tipsy, which is sort of unusual, though he definitely is angry about something and seems to be muttering something about giant hobgoblins and "those damn ogres". What do you do?

Inevitability
2015-07-24, 04:35 AM
Minor deity aside; my character doesn't like drunk people. Creative use of 'Purify Food and Drink' ought to solve that problem. (It nowhere says it doesn't work on creatures... And I'm sure there are a few things that eat minor deities...)

Now that the deity is more-or-less sober, I will take the time to listen to his story, then decide if it is worth solving. Then again, given that hobgoblins and ogres aren't up to much good most of the time, he'll probably take up the quest.


An Inevitable shows up out of nowhere, swinging around his weapon of choice and screaming something about 'violations of universal law'. He then charges towards you.

RoTWS
2015-07-26, 08:27 PM
A quick knowledge check to see if I've ever heard of anything like this. If I remember any information, I act on it. If not, I ask what my violation was and what is the punishment.

You awake in the body you had when you were 12, but with all your current knowledge and skills.

101jir
2015-07-27, 04:06 PM
My gnoll barbarian isn't really upset, though perhaps frustrated by the fact that he is physically weaker than he would like to be. Also going to be extremely annoyed that others won't take him seriously when he tries to join quests to eat bring justice to wanted outlaws. That said, he is still capable of taking on the public wanted lists, it is just going to be more of a challenge now, and he has fewer options. Still, some of the ones remaining look tasty like cruel monsters that are impossible to take alive. Just too bad you need something to identify them by. He goes about his buissness, and laughs a bit at people's reactions to dishing out reward money to a 12 year old.

Your character comes across a liquid, with a spoon in it. If they decide to drink it,
It has random effects on their attributes and appearance. Mostly bad, but a small chance of good ones.

Inevitability
2015-07-28, 04:56 AM
My paladin observes it, tries to determine what it is, casts a Purify Food and Drink, then drin... Oh wait, the rogue already snatched it away.

As you are walking through a dark, empty mansion, you suddenly notice a creepy little girl has been stalking you. She avoids contact, and apparently can't be killed or held back in any way. The child slowly walks towards you, an evil smile on her face.

Orm-Embar
2015-07-28, 07:57 AM
Uh-oh. An apparition that's immune to magic etcetera? Short of pulling the mansion down around our ears perhaps... but never mind. A deus ex machina on that level is most likely here to deliver a message from the GM. Nothing good ever comes of running away from plot hooks, so after testing the limits a bit for fun I'll wait for her to catch up so I can find out what fate has in store. Probably another quest thingy.

TPBM, you find yourself dreaming of being chased over the rooftops of The City by Surprisingly Competent Guards. Why, you don't remember exactly. It could have something to do with the big bag slung over your shoulder. Sometimes the bag shifts and wiggles, almost causing you to drop it as you leap over the Terrible Chasms between roofs. Sometimes the bag curses at you (or something in the bag does, it's hard to tell). The darn thing is heavy and awkward, it's got sharp edges poking you in the back, you're getting sweaty and out of breath, and the SCG keep showering you with crossbow bolts. When one of them shatters a roof tile right next to your face, giving you a small stinging cut, you suddenly realize - ow! That hurt! This is not a dream. It's really happening.

Xihirli
2015-07-28, 12:52 PM
I use the bag as a shield until it's properly pincushioned and then throw it to the ground to make sure it's dead. Then I either teleport out of there or Meteor Swarm the soul out of the guards, depending on how many bolts they have left.

A bag with a person in it, half-dead, lands on you.

DungeonMaster77
2015-07-29, 08:27 AM
My cleric casts Speaks With Dead attempting to find out who this person was and what this person was doing in a bag, deceased, and then verifying the information with a Legend Lore spell or a Commune spell, and, if I find that this person was good, I cast Resurrection on them. If not, I bury the body after casting Consecrate on the ground around it to avoid allowing it to be animated as an undead.

You find yourself in a large anti-magic zone. Your arch-nemesis gives you two choices: 1) Swear fealty to him and worship his dark/light deity (one that opposes your alignment completely), then offering your party members up for sacrifice on an alter (or some other action equally abhorrent to your alignment), or allowing yourself to be imprisoned for eternity in torment while watching your loved ones be dismembered for the rest of their lives whilst wearing a rings of regeneration.

101jir
2015-07-29, 10:20 AM
Well, this is a rather awkward situation, as my human fighter (true neutral, bordering on lawful neutral) is a bodyguard for an apprentice wizard. Technically he swore to protect the life of said wizard, not his well being, but ultimately he leaves it to the rest of the party to decide. He generally follows the intent of the party, after all he is only an employee, but as they are likely to try and fight he will join them. Considering this is his arch-nemesis, however,he should have a lot of information that he can whisper to his party, to help them make their decision.

A vast army is bombarding your people, with spearmen covering the outside of in all directions, with the next layer being melee infantry, then archers, and in the center are the officers and catapults launching boulders and acid rounds into a village. The local garrison isn't nearly enough to fight them off, and it is about 7 layers thick in a 10X10 array (with a large number missing in the center to provide room for the catapults and archers).

Dr.Gunsforhands
2015-08-11, 09:39 PM
"So, ah, seven layers... in a ten by ten array... is... uh, a lot of math."

The first-level ranger just sighs and tells everyone to pack their bags so they can scoot off to the next town. She didn't think the goblins wanted her village that badly.

You are jostled awake by what you think is some turbulence on a simple airship ride over an icy canyon... only to find that everyone is dead, the ship is in flames, and you've lost your hat. What do?

Prince Zahn
2015-08-12, 09:53 AM
(Apart from the everyone's dead part this has happened to me!)
My ninth level Sorcerer casts fly and gets off the ship as soon as he possibly can. And tries to navigate his way to the nearest town, fighting or killing anything he must to ensure his survival.

You have awoken in a strange dimension where all of your team mates are 60 years are at least one age category older. and though they are happy with your returning , you are starting to suspect that they are keeping some very crucial details from the past a secret from you. WWYD?

Xihirli
2015-08-12, 11:52 AM
Meteor Swarm! Meteor Swarm! Scimitar-Chucks, yo! KILL 'EM ALL!!!

A grim reaper appears before you and says;
"You have cheated death one too many times. I would play a game, but again, you cheat. Come with me."

Hollowpoint
2015-08-12, 12:11 PM
My 1st-level mute Elan Telepath just sobs inaudibly as her psi-crystal is literally rolling on the floor, laughing.

You are eating dinner at your favorite pub/inn/restaurant as your best barges in tells you he has just discovered the secret for immortality.

Grim ranger
2015-08-12, 12:31 PM
My Dhampir oracle/bard gives them a look of quiet fury before telling them to shut up before they get the worse forms of "immortality" the planes have to offer. He hates people prattling about immortality like it is all rainbows and sunshine after his whole plane got negative energy'd and raised as various forms of undead.

After waking up from your sleep, you find yourself in an unfamiliar dark cave with no clear exit, with chittering of endless rat swarms rapidly closing in.

Inevitability
2015-08-15, 03:46 PM
Use Sacred Weapon to create some light. Hate self for having no light abilities but this one, which only works for a minute, after which I need to spend an hour resting to recharge it. In this minute of light, try to determine where the exit is, or otherwise find a spot safe from a rampaging rat horde.

Purify Food and Drink is used to survive for long amounts of time.



Your character's alignment just got reversed (Lawful to Chaotic, Good to Evil and vice versa), but his memories, goals, and other major character traits are still intact.

Indarra
2015-08-15, 05:04 PM
My goal becomes to once again be Neutral Good. I volunteer at an orphanage for awhile.

An orphan had been kidnapped and worn as a suit. If you kill the criminal, you also burn down the orphanage.

Dr.Gunsforhands
2015-08-16, 11:56 PM
Umm... why? Did he put a bomb in the orphanage or something? We should probably focus on that first. We don't necessarily want to kill anyone anyway, we can just knock the psycho out or something for now and possibly get them some professional help later.

You found about fifty orphans that need a place to stay until you can make 10,000 gold pieces to institute a new orphanage. Nobody else wants to deal with any of this, so it's your problem now. Any ideas?

Prince Zahn
2015-08-17, 01:33 AM
As a kind hearted tenth-level sorcerer from before (he leveled up!) is still somewhat crushed by the loss of his teammates. He takes the fifty orphans as his own and we live together in a few widened tiny huts and raise them to look out for each other, or secure shelters in desperate times.

TPBM, one of these orphans steals your lunch. If you seek out vengeance you will find the wrath of a high-level Sorcerer to deal with, as well as an army of fifty teenage adventurers. What do you do?

Grim ranger
2015-08-18, 02:09 PM
Pondering on the matter, my character Plane Shifts to the Nine Hells to get best lawyers available for the job before simply suing yours according to local law. Hope you have plenty of cash at hand.

TPBM, your character is faced by Lady of Pain. She looks to be mad at you. What do you do?

Inevitability
2015-08-19, 03:49 AM
If my character knows who he is facing (doubtful) he'll probably try some rushed diplomacy. If he doesn't, he'll draw his flail and prepare to face this mysterious foe. Both reactions are likely to result in death.

TPBM, you come across a bridge with a troll on it. The troll demands a hundred gold pieces, or he won't let you pass. Unbeknownst to you, the troll is actually a 20th-level oni wizard.

somethingrandom
2015-08-20, 04:32 PM
Guns McGee is about to open fire with his Ares Alpha when one of his team mates gives him a almost preemptive "NO! (equivant amount of neyen) is not worth the attention a fight would being" Said team mate then play the troll.

You have brought the man Mr Johnstone (an anonymous empoyler) hired you extract (take someone for another company's holding so his company can offer them a job) to the park where you had arranged to meet Mr Johnstone. The time of the meet comes and Mr Johnstone is nowhere to be seen. Just them a gunshot rings out and the man slumps over dead having been shot in the head the shooter is nowhere in sight having appently used a sniper rifle.

Dr.Gunsforhands
2015-08-20, 04:36 PM
My characters reach into their shallow pockets for the gold and only come up with about 40 gp between them. Not wanting to fight the troll, secret wizard or otherwise, the party ranger explains and stresses the importance of the trip and promises to pay back the rest, adding a gut-wrenching, "Pleeeeeease?" for good measure. If that doesn't work, we'll just have to swim across or something.

Oh hey, a DG mission. I'm going to go off and look for the sniper. My group is okay with the occasional Shocking Twist, but whoever needed this guy dead still needs to pay us for delivering him.

Your basement is flooded! What do you do? Also, everyone else's basement is also flooded, spoiling many of the root vegetables the small town uses to get through winter, which could cut into your own effective food supply if you intend to stick around. Which you do, because the flood also came with an extended Dimensional Anchor effect for some reason. Stupid flood.

Inevitability
2015-08-21, 06:38 AM
Purify Food and Drink, Purify Food and Drink, Purify Food and Drink, Purify Food and Drink... Oh, wait a few hours, I gotta rest.

It is very dark, and your character is likely to be eaten by a grue.

Xihirli
2015-08-22, 07:34 AM
Dancing lights.
No... Meteor Swarm.

QQQQ, grue is attacking you... in broad daylight. It doesn't seem affected by this.

somethingrandom
2015-08-30, 02:45 AM
Open fire with my ares alpha of coarse.

You are in a bar on an undercover mission when one of the bars patrons recognizes you. And begins to great you loudly.

Indarra
2015-08-30, 08:01 AM
Chimera are a quite recognizable figure. Whose bright idea was it to send me on this mission in the first place?

You have hugged a dragon to sleep and found its heart in a pot. What do you do?

Grim ranger
2015-08-30, 11:49 AM
Considering the dragon would likely destroy me if I should try to control it via it's heart, I fall asleep against it and present it's heart back to it at earliest available opportunity before doing my very best to make friends with it. This way I get a powerful friend, have no crisises of conscience and maybe even get pat on the head when I die and go to whatever afterlife is in store for me.

TPBM, Evil Overlord has declared they will destroy the world with their magical nukes...unless you marry them. Then they will just rule it with you. Of course this would make you one of most reviled people on the face of the earth. What will you do?

Dr.Gunsforhands
2015-08-31, 10:54 PM
DG or Sophie the Monk: "Buuuuhokay, sure. I'll go rent a tuxedo."

Clerics: "You just want me to renounce my beliefs before you kill me. Well, it's not happening. Do not bother with the whole, 'this is all your fault,' line, either; you're making choices here, too."

Natalie the Ranger: "...I don't get it. You think I'll want to marry y'all just 'cause you're destroying the world?"
What? No, I'm COERCING you into marrying me, or ELSE I destroy the world.
"...because then I won't have anyone else to marry? I don't think that'll work, it'll probably just make me mad..."
No, that's not... I'm offering you a chance to rule by my side!
"Well, y'all can't rule the world if it's destroyed, dummy!"
So you'll do it?
"Do what?"

...It'll go on like that for a while, hopefully until the rest of the party shows up to kick the overlord's butt.

Next up: The world's destroyed! Wherever you last fell asleep, the sky has been replaced with an impenetrable could of dust, and there are no living beings around for what must be miles. You're not sure how it happened, you just kind of woke up and everything was like this. Now what?

Inevitability
2015-09-01, 10:29 AM
Travel in a random direction. When anything even remotely edible is found, cast Purify Food and Drink on it and consume it. If any other survivors are found, stay with them and protect them.

You wake up and notice you are a vampire.

Xihirli
2015-09-01, 04:57 PM
What a weird coincidence! I was just cast in a Dracula play as a vampire extra!

You have just realized that Xihirli is a Thespian.

somethingrandom
2015-09-02, 02:39 PM
Get on with his life. Random people his does not know or care about can do what they want with their lifes as long as they don't get in his way.

You flying high in the sky (by whatever means seams most approprate given the setting your character is from and their abilites when you (and your means of flight if applicable) are attacked by a dragon and a troll riding on it's back.

Prince Zahn
2015-09-02, 03:59 PM
CHASE SCENE! I flee(fly) for my life using my wee jet pack.

You have woken up and quickly realized that for the next 24 hours, you can not physically touch, interact with or be perceived by anything alive, although animals behave oddly in your presence and machines malfunction in undesirable and dangerous ways more often than not when you are around (and can still hurt you, if the situation arises). Tell me: what do you do, today?

Demon Prince
2015-09-10, 02:38 PM
Shai

If she knew it was 24 hours, she'd likely just try to tough it out for that time given her current circle of friends. However, if she had people she was in regular correspondence with, she'd try to make text or SOMETHING to indicate she was still there and doing okay.

She'd also try to snoop around and find out more about the whereabouts and nature of her lover's killer--it's typically rude to do so, but she can't easily do anything else.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Your character wakes up in a bed with a being they normally wouldn't have anything to do with, and has no clue how they got there.

Inevitability
2015-09-11, 02:43 PM
For my halfling bard to wake up next to something he wouldn't want to have anything to do with, something must have gone really wrong. I'm guessing something like an aberration or ooze here.

My halfling will try to sneak away as silently as possible, escape from whatever slime-filled lair he has wandered into, then falsely claim he bravely slew the beast that had abducted him and fought his way out with both hands tied behind his back and one foot cut off (which he regenerated later, because he is so awesome).


Your character has inherited a lovely old mansion. Problem is; it's crawling with ghosts. And not the friendly kind, the mad, I-hate-everything-that-lives kind.

Prince Zahn
2015-09-11, 03:29 PM
Knowing Muirella, my halfling diviner aka fortuneteller/medium. she would do her best to communicate with them, or help them find peace, or at least appease them so they stop trying to kill her.

With so many Ghosts at once, though, she would probably have a nervous breakdown first.:smalltongue:

Your character was robbed last night in his/her/it's sleep. If your character can not physically sleep, you were knocked unconscious somehow. Either way, your head(s) hurt(s) really bad and a bloody bandage with black hearts drawn on it is strapped to your cheeck while you were knocked out. But more importantly - you're most prized possession in gone! What do you do?

Dr.Gunsforhands
2015-09-11, 10:47 PM
Someone took Natalie's prized Horsie??? They will pay for this hay-nous crime! Gritting her teeth against the headache, she uses her sorta-decent tracking skills plus her favored enemy bonus to hunt down her own horse and bring her home.

A humanoid shapeshifter of unknown origin comes to you in a private place and offers you a week of services (including sexual ones if requested, though that comes off as fairly uninspired) in exchange for a simple alibi, to be given at some point during the week. What do?

Inevitability
2015-09-12, 02:52 AM
A shapeshifter at my beck and call who will do everything I ask of him/her/hir/it? And I only have to lie a bit for it? Sure!

A vampire offers to turn you into a free-willed vampire with all of a normal vamp's powers. However, you will first have to serve a century as his thrall. What do you do?

Xihirli
2015-09-12, 12:41 PM
I ACCEPT! Other Parent always told me to trust any undead I met.

The vampire scammed you and you remain his thrall! AH!

Dr.Gunsforhands
2015-09-19, 03:17 PM
I didn't want to be a vampire in the first place, though... but then, I guess it's been a century, so I'd probably be dead now otherwise. It also means I've had a century to tell all kinds of adventurers how, 'great,' Master is, and to show them the sweet undead-bane weapon collection I've accrued over the years.

Given these circumstances, an undead woman with the appearance of a youthful ranger finally invites you over to meet her Vampire Lord master. How to proceed?

Inevitability
2015-09-30, 02:46 PM
Well, my bard knows very well he shouldn't go with her. I mean; she's a vampire, for crying out loud.

Then again, common sense isn't going to do a thing here. He goes to meet her master!


As you enter a random dungeon room, you see an undead creature... that looks exactly like you. Worse; it is you, only undead.

Morphindae May
2015-09-30, 09:27 PM
Cool! I would seduce myself (my clone self of course) and marry her. She would be my parallel thus filthy rich. On our wedding night I would kill her, dress up as her and say she was me (technically she is me) and live happily ever after with my/her riches! Hey, I never stole anything! I just took it from myself.:smallbiggrin:

You and your adventuring party have been captured by an old friend of a friend Wizard-dude from way back, who owes you a favor. You are taken to a cave and see two big alters: on one lies your whole immediate family and EVEN YOUR LITTLE PUPPY!!!! on the other your whole adventuring party who have always been faithful and loyal to you for, say... 15 years. As your favor, Wizard-dude gives you a choice: who do you pick to be sacrificed? You must pick a group or they all die. Note that either way you will be sacrificed as you are a member of your own immediate family and a part of your adventuring group.

Xihirli
2015-09-30, 11:49 PM
There are so many ways around this...
Meteor Swarm the wizard.
Kill my family and party myself so he can't use them as hostages.
Kill the wizard, my family, my party members, and myself so no one else gets to kill anyone.
But I guess what I decide is, I would...
https://static2.fjcdn.com/thumbnails/comments/I+_634498c2_3c26_6d40.jpg

Xihirli FINALLY changed his profile picture! Yay!

Prince Zahn
2015-10-05, 02:51 AM
My character fails his will save and goes blind.

You see a blind dwarf quickly cover up and hide away the picture of Dorian GrayXihirli before anything else bad might happen. But he's not hiding it too well, because he can't see if he's doing a good job.

Mnemophage
2015-10-05, 03:19 AM
Depends on my hunger level at the time. I mean, a blind dwarf to a mind flayer is like walking up to a human with a... burger? Meat sandwich. And just giving it to them and running away. On the other hand, I'm trying to cultivate a reputation, so if I've recently eaten I'll just do some general mind-probing to sate my curiosity.

Oh gods! A mind flayer! In the city! It doesn't appear to be doing anything of real menace. Just standing around, watching a dwarf bumble about. What do you do?

Pex
2015-10-14, 02:34 PM
Oh gods! A mind flayer! In the city! It doesn't appear to be doing anything of real menace. Just standing around, watching a dwarf bumble about. What do you do?

My Oracle of Life casts Protection From Evil on himself, just in case, then approaches the mind flayer and says "hello".

You're in a tavern when kobolds attack. One of them wears a holy symbol of a deity known for dragons, magic, good, and war. There's also a calm aura about him. What do you do?

Inevitability
2015-10-15, 07:07 AM
Smash him in the face with a flail. After all, he's still attacking a tavern.

You find an incredibly expensive piece of magical equipment you are unable to use yourself (for example, finding a Vorpal Fullblade as wizard).

Prince Zahn
2015-10-15, 11:36 AM
Yomnis, my elf conjurer, would pay to learn to fight with it and train under the party fighter's wing so he may learn to use it himself. He will insist on keeping it for himself by declaring the clause in Seelie Court law that " finders keepers, losers weepers"

The party wizard found a valuable artifact that you can use and he can't. He refuses to hand it over, but will offer you a substantial amount of money to teach him to wield it. What would you do?

Dr.Gunsforhands
2015-10-25, 03:09 PM
Natalie gives the wizard just enough training to take one level of ranger with Jabberwock as his favored enemy. "Just make sure not to swing it at anyone unless you're abolutely sure they shouldn't be alive anymore."

While out on a walk, it begins to rain. You turn around to go home, but roll two ones in a row and fall into a deep hole. The sides of the hole are too slippery to climb, and the concentration check to cast spells only gets harder as the rain picks up.

What do?

Medival Wombat
2015-11-25, 08:27 AM
I taunt the mighty rain god (by calling his mother a hamster) to make it rain even faster. Then I swim out of the flooded pit.


You have to cross a deep canyon. After a while you stumble over a sinister, goblin totem in front of a narrow bridge. "Give shineys, moon laughs. Be meany, sky screams" is carved into it

Xihirli
2015-11-26, 07:46 PM
I meteor swarm the sign, fire a Disintegrate spell at the moon, and cross over the bridge in absolute safety and confidence.

An idiot drow falls off of a broken bridge.

Emperordaniel
2015-11-26, 10:06 PM
I sigh, repair the bridge, and leave some money at the base of the totem before continuing on my way.

You are walking through a forest when you are suddenly surrounded by a large number of heavily-armed and armored knights, who are all pointing loaded crossbows in your direction. They order you to fetch them something or die. What do you do?

Inevitability
2015-11-28, 12:07 PM
My mute half-elf warlock nods, leaves, then proceeds to completely ignore their commands as soon as she's far enough.

Your party members have rendered you unconscious and sold you on a slave market.

Prince Zahn
2015-11-28, 05:30 PM
My time mage would change his identity, plot vengeance with a guy who arguably had it just as rough as he has, and spend years of magical research and drinking at a tavern to learn a spell to prevent all that from ever happening, as well as punish the backstabbing teammate behind their scheme into a lifetime of slavery first. "Fie on any paradoxes that dare stand in my way."

Your once friendly time mage inadvertently (p-)reenacted the plot of the 21st century movie " Predestination" despite everybody telling him it's a bad idea. Any plans on how to put an end to this?

Dire Moose
2015-11-29, 12:10 AM
My hunter facepalms, and has her Dromaeosaurus companion hold the mage down while she takes all the material components he needs to cast the required spells.

As someone whose primary goal is to protect the balance of nature, she has strong feelings about people messing up the time-space continuum.

The entire party, except you, is under a mind control spell that makes them start trying to kill you.

Xihirli
2015-11-29, 12:30 AM
Lolth, is it Wednesday already?

Someone has marked your calendar several days ahead to make it appear as though Sunday is truly Wednesday.

Inevitability
2015-11-29, 03:40 PM
How shocking.

A yandere is stalking you. Said yandere happens to be an adventurer a few levels above you.

Dudeons
2015-11-29, 03:51 PM
My human lumberjack-turned-barbarian acknowledges her advances and, being the nice guy he is, plays along with them. However, once things get creepy, a few grapple checks with his 18 Strength should incapacitate her long enough for him to escape.

Your character receives a letter telling him to kill a well-known celebrity in public. What would convince your character to do it, and how would they do the dirty deed?

DaveSonOfDave
2015-11-29, 06:14 PM
Well, Scummy Tim does the scummy jobs, so he wouldn't need too much convincing. What he WOULD need was enough time to figure out where the celebrity was going to be in public, and how best to make it look like an accident.

Your party is walking through town, and finds themselves suddenly caught in the middle of an angry mob of citizens storming the bakery to protest absurdly high bread prices. What do you do?

Xihirli
2015-11-29, 06:42 PM
I kill the baker and give everyone free bread. Then I kill them all.

A bakery is now empty. The cash register unguarded.

Dr.Gunsforhands
2015-11-29, 08:08 PM
Well, that's - wait. Where's Xihirli?

You've been given the task of investigating a mass murder that recently took place at the bakery. The bodies were already rounded up and turned over to the undertaker, leaving naught but bloodstains and chalk outlines behind. The bread was all taken, but the cash and other valuable items were mysteriously left untouched. The rest of your adventuring party is on vacation or something. Dr. Gunsforhands can assist you, though, for whatever that's worth.

Dudeons
2015-11-29, 09:06 PM
Tero Silvermoon uses a few divination spells to find someone who witnessed the crime before reading their mind to figure out what happened. He then enlists the aid of everyone's favorite cyborg doctor to hunt down the murderer in the style of a fantasy-infused buddy cop film.

A high-level elf wizard and a doctor with handguns for hands ask your character for the location of the renowned drow criminal Xihirli. How does your character respond?

Prince Zahn
2015-11-30, 03:52 AM
Vamber agrees to give them what little lead he can in exchange for accompanying them on the quest. He has a score to settle with the Drow.

A motley band of characters of mismatched genres storms your house believing you are Xihirli, or know where he's hiding. They threaten to kill you, and burn your body, and disturb you thoroughly in the afterlife if you don't comply... Or at least the halflling among them does.

Inevitability
2015-11-30, 04:25 PM
How annoying. My warlock first tries to talk you out of it. If things don't go well, though, she might... snap. Expect tentacles of pure necrotic energy to be flung around.

Your character is asked to provide the campaign setting's biggest newspaper with his/her views on gay marriage!

Xihirli
2015-12-01, 09:39 PM
Oh. What are my views on that? Maybe I should check my signature.

"[Today's ruling] affirms what millions across this country already know to be true in their hearts: our love is equal."

Oh. Well, what do you know? I'm for it.

You see me right next to a wanted poster bearing my description. The reward is listed as "ALL THE MONEY."

Ninjaman
2015-12-11, 09:16 AM
I pull out my shuriken gun and shoot you dead.

You find a wallet, from the driver's license you can tell it belongs to someone on the other end of the world.

Syldar
2015-12-11, 10:00 AM
Syldar Shadowthorn uses his divination magic to locate the wallet's owner, then finds a way to return it, wondering the whole time about why a modern wallet is in this world.

You are accosted by an assassin with spike-toed boots, a huge hammer, a chainsaw, and a helmet with massive horns; along with his berserker friend (girlfriend? with a sentient greataxe. They want to kill you and take your stuff.

Dudeons
2015-12-11, 02:13 PM
Agni Kassar, the mysterious foreigner with power over fire, gives a smirk before burning them alive. If that doesn't kill them, he draws his scimitar and finishes the fight.

Your character is having a lovely date with a person of their preferred gender; he/she is charming, intelligent, and highly attractive. However, as the night goes on, things start to gradually hint at this person being a serial killer who gruesomely kills his/her date once he/she is bored with them. What does your character do?

Xihirli
2015-12-11, 04:58 PM
Since I would prefer death to being boring, I welcome this check to my monotony. We go on a murder-spree and I induct the Gender Neutral Drow (I have a thing for the Androgynous) into my group of cuddle-buddies.

You have been invited to join my group of cuddle-buddies!

Emperordaniel
2015-12-11, 11:08 PM
I stab Xihirli.

You are in climactic combat with your greatest foe at a location that is sure to provide great cinematics, and in the midst of it all you realize that he is far too strong for you to defeat him. Then, just after the realization hits you, he lunges for you with what could very well be a fatal blow. What do you do?

Dr.Gunsforhands
2015-12-12, 01:13 AM
I move out of the way, and they tumble off of the lightning-lit rooftop in a swift anticlimax. I guess they spent too much time generating colorful auras and posing dramatically to really think that charge-punch through. For my part, I've already forgotten what we were fighting about. I know I can't really beat them anyway, so when they get back up here all they'll find is a sticky note reading, "gg wp"

An ancient, powerful, extremely heavy tank-like machine is rumored to lie at the bottom of the sea, having been lost in transport ages ago. Recently, an oracle lowered its location down to a relatively small area in the middle of your world's equivalent of the Atlantic Ocean. The race is on to recover the artifact, and for whatever reason, that's your job now! How do you go about it?

Syldar
2015-12-12, 09:49 AM
I acquire several potions of water breath and bribe a water dragon to help me. Divination magic is used to locate the artifact, and a few strength spells on the dragon make it able to carry the thing. The dragon gets a powerful magic item in return for its help. The tank is used to destroy things that should not be.

You are surrounded by a horde of drow, one of which is Xihirli. If you are Xihirli, you are surrounded by powerful surfacers with a super powered paladin. Either way, they want you dead. What do you do?

Inevitability
2015-12-12, 11:13 AM
Disguise Self into this (http://i588.photobucket.com/albums/ss324/Xeldrakka/Hadar.jpg), and attempt to telepathically intimidate the drow. If that doesn't work, cast Hunger of Hadar followed by some Eldritch Blasts and pray it is enough to kill the drow.

SCP-682 (http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-682) comes charging at you.

Prince Zahn
2015-12-12, 11:13 AM
. . . Gaseus Form to make my escape? if I can't escape to the surface, I will make my way to a tall stalactite where I rain fireballs from above!

...also, Protection from arrows and Pyrotechnics, and tempting opportunistic access to great supernatural power. (fireballs as 9th level spells yay!) Xihirli will need line of sight to Meteor swarm me correctly. leaving me ample time to burn the whole underdark down!

You are caught in the crossfire of a Drow massacre in Menzoberranzan caused by a once so cheerful halfling wizard - your friend. who at the brink of death was "blessed" with the wrath of Baphomet. fire and smoke is flooding the underdark as creatures are panicking and suffocating to death in a black blur where even darkvision fails it's denizens. What will you do about the survivors? what about your corrupted friend? will you try to fix the underdark?

Find out next post on "What would your character do?" CURSE YOU DIRE STIRGE YOU RUINED MY SUPERNOVA CORRUPTION MOMENT!!!!


I speak the SCP's truename and delete it from existence.:smallmad: I can do that. I have a demon lord on my side.

Prince Zahn has the Demon Lord Baphomet on his side and they got beef with you too for some reason. what do?

Xihirli
2015-12-12, 12:44 PM
Call in my favor with Baphomet's superiors.

I give you a buy one get one free card to the gnomish Just Hats store.

Syldar
2015-12-13, 10:08 AM
I buy the coolest wizard hat there along with a practical hat to help a poor hatless gnome somewhere.

A horde of robot ninjas with alien pirate allies attacks. What do you do?

backwaterj
2015-12-19, 04:13 PM
Sumasqi sheathes her polearm, getting out a rune-engraved journal and inkpen. "Fascinating," she says whilst dimension hopping out of the way of the attackers when necessary and meticulously taking notes in some bizarre forgotten language, "From what the surfacers have informed me I was under the impression these two factions should be belligerent toward each other, not in cooperation."

A minute or so later (or whenever she's out of second-level spells) she puts the journal away, draws the ranseur again, and channels shocking hands through it until they're all dead. Lawless ruffians.


The vile necromancer Larry the Sinister raises all said corpses with . . . vile necromancy. That's sort of his schtick. (Yes, even the robots. It's a homebrew prestige class ability.) You are surrounded by Larry and his newly-acquired army, who demands (Larry, not the undead robot ninjas and alien pirates) that you surrender all your wealth and possessions or be forced off the cliff you're conveniently standing at the top of and be raised as the most frightening form of undead ever conceived (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Casper_the_Friendly_Ghost).

Dr.Gunsforhands
2015-12-21, 01:25 AM
"Uwaah! All I have is my herding stick... You're a big nasty zombie-making jerk, and I should probably be trying to kill you right now, but I guess y'all can have it. I don't think I'd be able to carry it if I was a ghost anyway."

You have accidentally entered a twilight zone episode and have to spend the next week living the life of your greatest enemy. How does that go?

Xihirli
2016-01-09, 12:18 PM
My greatest enemies are atheist scientists who do good for the world through the use of intelligence while respecting laws.
Does that make me... Bill Nye?
Bill! Bill! Bill! Bill!

Bill Nye has declared war on the world.

Prince Zahn
2016-01-10, 07:47 AM
I, Generic villain #3 sues him for stealing my plans.

It's raining cats and dogs outside, literally. Thousands upon thousands of cats and dogs are plummeting to their deaths every second! What will you do? Can you out a stop to this?

backwaterj
2016-01-10, 10:47 PM
Tarrog Fleshrend sniffs the air in puzzlement, then when he's sure it's not some sort of trap, proceeds to start ripping them to shreds with his rageclaws and devouring them raw.

A highly advanced race of aliens has replaced you with a perfect duplicate and imprisoned you in a perfect fabrication of a world run by drow Nazis.

Syldar
2016-01-11, 08:26 AM
I tear a hole in the fabric of the multiverse, step back into my world, locate the duplicate, and reduce it to its component molecules.

You have fallen into limbo, sea of pure chaos. Your magic is messed with, so that it is always wild magic. What do you do?

Dudeons
2016-01-11, 09:28 AM
Shorryynn, the Wookiee mercenary, shrugs and continues killing things for GLORY!

You find a thread called 'What would your character do?'. Inside, you find a bunch of silly posters who use themselves as characters so as to sidestep creativity. What do you do?

Xihirli
2016-01-11, 06:00 PM
*Meteor Swarm*

You are the only survivor of my massacre.

backwaterj
2016-01-11, 10:30 PM
Banshee, elf technomancer, goes about teaching herself to rebuild the world. With an army of robots.

You find yourself beset by an army of robots.

Quertus
2016-01-14, 01:28 AM
After finding a good stopping point, Quertus places a worn scrap of red cloth in the dusty tome he was reading, and hands it to his invisible naga simulacrum for safe keeping. He looks up from inside his bubble of force at the assembled army, and decides he should probably find the chronomancer responsible for such an anachronistic display. Robots again. Sigh. He stretches the details of the robots for further study, then teleports away.

Someone had messed up the time stream, and everyone but you is frozen in time.

kaufen
2016-01-14, 02:40 AM
One problem is that the situations are sometimes a bit far-fetched where you might find yourself saying "My character would never be in that situation in the first place." More importantly, the answers are painted with too broad of a brush. Yes, my character might do Choice C, but that's in context with events within the plot, just not just owing to some quirk of her personality. This is an important caveat and the book does not take this into account.

Depending on the answers you choose, you may even find your character all over the map. With insufficient guidance to fit the pieces together, you may find yourself with a fragmented (rather than complex) character that readers have a difficult time understanding.

Overall, I'd say the concept of the book was very intriguing, but the practical application of its content too oversimplified.

Silent Revenant
2016-01-14, 07:13 PM
After finding a good stopping point, Quertus places a worn scrap of red cloth in the dusty tome he was reading, and hands it to his invisible naga simulacrum for safe keeping. He looks up from inside his bubble of force at the assembled army, and decides he should probably find the chronomancer responsible for such an anachronistic display. Robots again. Sigh. He stretches the details of the robots for further study, then teleports away.

Someone had messed up the time stream, and everyone but you is frozen in time.

Upholding [[insert appropriate possessive pronoun here]] virtue of benevolence, my paladin searches far and wide for a means to restart the time flow once more.

If your character called on [[insert appropriate possessive pronoun here]] patron or deity in a time of great need and was left unanswered and the character felt the patron or deity has withdrawn from that character. How would the character react?

backwaterj
2016-01-14, 08:22 PM
Ooh, this one's actually happened. Banshee raged at him. At length. Via text.

Your character is cloned as an evil/good/whatever (diametrically opposed goals and alignment) twin with all his/her/its/their abilities and knowledge, who then proceeds to threaten all he/she/it/they hold dear.

Silent Revenant
2016-01-15, 01:44 AM
Ooh, this one's actually happened. Banshee raged at him. At length. Via text.

Your character is cloned as an evil/good/whatever (diametrically opposed goals and alignment) twin with all his/her/its/their abilities and knowledge, who then proceeds to threaten all he/she/it/they hold dear.

As a paladin they clone would not have the ability to use the same powers as my character, so I will instead assume that the clone is a anti-paladin or blackguard. In which case my paladin would challenge him with my allies' help and defeat the lone dark twin.

If your character learned that one of their fellow adventurers was a vampire what would the character do?

Syldar
2016-01-15, 09:14 AM
Keep him/her/vir under heavy watch while I research vampires. If they retain the original person, then we do the whole "partly drain then heal" thing, or just have them drink animal blood. If they do not... DEATH. Then resurrection.

You are faced with a godlike dragon which personifies the sky. Your response?

Emperordaniel
2016-01-15, 02:33 PM
I worship it. I don't really have any other choice, do I?

You come face to face with an Elven battle-cleric heading a cult which worships a godlike dragon that personifies the sky.

Silent Revenant
2016-01-15, 03:19 PM
I worship it. I don't really have any other choice, do I?

You come face to face with an Elven battle-cleric heading a cult which worships a godlike dragon that personifies the sky.

I find out the cult and the dragons intentions with my detect evil ability. If they are good I leave them in peace. If they are evil I will eradicate then unless they wish for redemption.

A paladin you have known for many years is trapped in a dungeon and is assumed dead, about a year later you see him as a oathbreaker paladin who wishes to cleanse evil by dominating all of the realm. What do you do?

Xihirli
2016-01-16, 12:01 AM
I remember the day that I trapped him in that dungeon... I was laughing.
I didn't much care if he died that day... it was just fun to lock him in there with no food or water.
Is this what happens to the people I hurt? Is this what would happen to all of them if most of them weren't dead? Do they go crazy?
Have my... have my careless rampages actually... injured others? Have all my days of slaughter truly been... Evil?

I throw myself at the Paladin's feet and beg for forgiveness. I place myself at his mercy as I gave him none on the day he was trapped.

When he tries to Smite me I Meteor Swarm him a few times.
Ignored Epiphany (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/IgnoredEpiphany) for the win!

You ALMOST have character development.

backwaterj
2016-01-17, 08:46 PM
Tarrog decides this pathetic elf he's been travelling with is too useful to eat . . . today, anyway.

You are given a choice: achieve your lifelong dream at the cost of your loved ones' lives, or suffer endlessly and secure your loved ones' safety. (You know the entity in question has the power to grant either scenario and keeps his word.)

Prince Zahn
2016-01-18, 02:46 PM
You are given a choice: achieve your lifelong dream at the cost of your loved ones' lives, or suffer endlessly and secure your loved ones' safety. (You know the entity in question has the power to grant either scenario and keeps his word.)

My man Graham's lifelong dream is, in fact, the survival and safety of those he cherishes most, in a post Apocalyptic setting, I have my cake and eat it too.

A 300 year old man at the prime of his life possesses unnatural physical strength, speed and stamina challenges you to a duel of arms - no magic, first to surrender loses, this is an honor match and there's prizes and bragging rights involved, so he will not try to kill you (though he can) as long as you give the same courtesy. You may choose 1 weapon, but may have as many of them as you can carry. Which weapon do you choose? How will you defeat this ancient master with it?

Inevitability
2016-01-21, 03:50 AM
Syllivus, half-elf swashbuckling thief, is interested by this appropriate challenge. He considers the rapier, then decides against it and selects the light crossbow instead. The fight will probably consist of Syllivus sniping at the man from cover, hiding, sneaking around, and sniping again. Sneak attack yay!

You are given two flasks. One contains the elixir of immortality, one contains poison that will kill you with a single sip. You do not know which is which.

Syldar
2016-01-21, 08:49 AM
Immortality is boring. I find some other schmuck willing to take the risk and give them to him/her. Elves live a while anyway.

An army of sentient squid with various powers, including but not limited to flight, human shape, and kraken-size are trying to rule the world, and you are among the few in the know. What do you do? (Note: there aren't many krakens, so not totally hopeless.)

Xihirli
2016-01-22, 07:53 PM
I go Meteor Swarm some random people and let the squid be.

I have killed your mother's cousin's midwife's florist's barber's children.

backwaterj
2016-01-22, 08:18 PM
"That was . . ." Lark flips a coin in the air. It comes up tails. "Unfortunate. In fact, that was the cruellest travesty in the history of hinkind! Oh, what a monster this drow is!" A slight pause. "Oh well, the Lady wills what she will."

You have been sealed into a room with your best friend. Teleportation magic will not function, and the room will not open until one of you is slain.

Emperordaniel
2016-01-22, 09:48 PM
I'm a cleric - we agree to kill him, take a bit of his hair, and then I resurrect him once I'm out of the room.

You are cursed to never be able to hurt anyone again, and are in a setting where only the originator of the curse can undo it. Oh, and the one who cursed you has just killed himself to avoid your forcing him to uncurse you.

Inevitability
2016-01-23, 05:51 AM
If 'hurt' is defined as 'bringing direct physical harm to anyone' Syllivus should be able to manage. His two greatest tools are wit and lies, anyway.

If 'hurt' is defined as 'deliberately bringing any kind of harm to anyone', though, he'll be in trouble. He'll probably find some kind of necromancer who can create sentient undead, have him reanimate the body, then force the newly created undead to un-curse him.

Xihirli
2016-01-23, 01:15 PM
Well, after you're un-cursed, I throw a hurt party and we all hurt each other in masochistic ways.

You have been invited to one of Xihirli's Masochistic Pain Parties.

backwaterj
2016-01-23, 06:06 PM
Stormcrow says "Ah hell no!" and unloads a gauss rifle into Xihirli's face.

A dragon, a lich, and a beholder all enter a bar. You're seated at it.

Syldar
2016-01-25, 11:26 AM
I ask the lich why he's here if he can't eat or drink, the beholder what the heck it's doing aboveground, and the dragon how he fit in the bar (unless this is one of those shapeshifting dragons.).

You're stripped of your stuff and tossed into an evil tyrant's dungeon. (If you're evil, it's a good-is-not-soft benevolent ruler's dungeon.)

Dire Moose
2016-01-25, 05:20 PM
Character: Siella Irisani, NG Elf Hunter

Siella would use Spider Climb to escape whenever the opportunity presents itself. The material component, a live spider, shouldn't be that hard to find in the typical tyrant's dungeon cells.

While being captured, Siella's animal companion, a dromaeosaur, would find the party and inform them of what happened, and would be contacted via her empathic link during the escape attempt.

You find a bottle of some mysterious liquid labeled "Drink This." Detecting magic reveals that it is highly magical, but the aura is otherwise impossible to identify. In fact, nothing you have can identify the substance.

Xihirli
2016-01-25, 06:50 PM
I force-feed it to a nearby orphan and then Meteor Swarm the orphan before the potion has time to take effect.

You are given a free hydra-burger but find that it is actually dragon-meat.

backwaterj
2016-01-26, 05:06 AM
Lamyria is a dirty hippie conscientious vegetarian, so she wordlessly passes on the burger, allowing her teammates to take it if they wish.

You find yourself engulfed by a kraken's arms and dragged underwater (or, if you're aquatic, held out of the water).

Inevitability
2016-01-29, 03:38 PM
How the hell did a kraken end up in a floating islands-setting? Syllivus tries to twist loose dexterously, or, if that doesn't work, stabs it a few times.

You are given the opportunity to travel through time and alter/observe a single event that happened earlier, and no paradoxes will be caused by this alteration. When do you go, and why?

Laharal
2016-02-16, 01:53 AM
My peasant goes back in time to save the greatest war hero that ever walked this kingdom in the past generation. The peasant prevents the hero from chocking on a chicken's bone, thus giving the people in the present time a leader to rally on.


You are given the choice between 2 great weapons by an ally npc.
One has ''ok damage'' but will work almost every time used.
The other makes super-lethal strikes but it is so unwieldy that you often miss your hit.

Syldar
2016-03-19, 12:03 PM
I scoff at these weapons and say that magic is superior.

You are in a volcano, surrounded by creepers.

somethingrandom
2016-03-20, 06:43 AM
Ulfgar a low level geokinest wonders how he got into this situation and wishing he was more skilled tells his friends to run before dying in a massive explosion.

You were sent to bring someone in alive. The party barbarian just decapitated them.

Kantaki
2016-03-21, 04:42 PM
You were sent to bring someone in alive. The party barbarian just decapitated them.

I disguise the barbarian as the guy we were supposed to capture and deliver him instead. Then I teleport the remaining party and myself away before anyone notices.

Some adventurers delivered a barbarian in a badly fitting disguise to you to cash in on a bounty. Unfortunately they teleported away before this was noticed.

Black Socks
2016-03-21, 06:36 PM
I disguise the barbarian as the guy we were supposed to capture and deliver him instead. Then I teleport the remaining party and myself away before anyone notices.

Some adventurers delivered a barbarian in a badly fitting disguise to you to cash in on a bounty. Unfortunately they teleported away before this was noticed.

I cast Charm Person and make the barbarian do a painful slapstick comedy act in front of a crowd, collect the gold and skedaddle!

- - - Updated - - -


I cast Charm Person and make the barbarian do a painful slapstick comedy act in front of a crowd, collect the gold and skedaddle!

Sorry, I forgot the situation, here it is-
You have just been beaten by a powerful beholder while trying to rescue the innocent townspeople he is holding hostage. he offers to let them go if you agree to let him consume your soul in eternal torment (I don't know if beholders can actually do this, but anyway...). But can you really trust him?
What does your character do?

Syldar
2016-03-22, 07:51 AM
I throw alchemist's fire in his eye while his guard is down, then shoot a fireball down his throat(?). I HIGHLY doubt he could survive that.

A tyrant king has imprisoned his noble half-brother, rightful heir to the throne, and will execute him tomorrow. Your goal: free the good king, remove the tyrant.

backwaterj
2016-03-23, 01:44 PM
Lark uses his ironic position of lordship to raise an army, storm the evil tyrant's castle, and kill him. And then kill the good king. And all their progeny. Did I mention he's an anarchist crusader of Tymora? :smallbiggrin:

Some rabble-rousing halfling has just killed all legal heirs to your kingdom's throne. How does your character handle the ensuing chaos?

Kantaki
2016-03-23, 02:56 PM
Some rabble-rousing halfling has just killed all legal heirs to your kingdom's throne. How does your character handle the ensuing chaos?

Time for a party!
I gather my undead horde and my friends and march to the next city to eat and drink and sing and dance as much as we can.

After the death of the king and his family a necromancer and a army of undead and monsters have invaded your city... to throw a banquet accompanied by song and dance.

Black Socks
2016-04-02, 01:45 PM
I party with them! Woo hoo!

You are an Oath of Vengeance paladin. Your whole life, you have been searching for the crazed wizard that destroyed your village and killed your family. You find him and have an epic battle in which you just you just barely overcome him, and you successfully take revenge on him for his vile deeds.
He's dead. You've fulfilled your Oath. Now what?
Also I should mention that you are still young and healthy, and you're not wealthy enough to retire.

8BitNinja
2016-04-03, 11:00 PM
A tyrant king has imprisoned his noble half-brother, rightful heir to the throne, and will execute him tomorrow. Your goal: free the good king, remove the tyrant.

I call together an army of fellow paladins and fight the tyrant and his men in open battle

Dr.Gunsforhands
2016-04-04, 12:16 AM
We got 'em? Hooray! So, uh, I guess we're done here? I should probly get going back home to let my family know I'm okay... but we'll all have to celebrate real soon too!

So, you're in a game environment that's organized into a series of 1-on-1 fights over an artifact that grants the final winner one wish, with at least one opponent perfectly copying your move set. Pretty typical stuff, all things considered. Even if you don't really care about getting a wish, some of the other entrants are real psychos, so you need to at least keep them away from the thing. So, what's your fighting style? What do you do when you get the artifact?

8BitNinja
2016-04-04, 01:52 AM
My fighting style is extremely defenclsive, with lots of blocking, counterattacking, and having more endurance than the other fighter. Basically, let the other guy take a swing, and then I would block and hit him where he is open. With the one wish, I would wish for something that would make the world a better place, but I don't have any specifics in mind. Right now I'm worried about those psychos getting a hold of it.

You have been assigned to a small task force by the government to get intelligence that, if not obtained, may mean the deaths of millions of innocents. As you move towards the enemy complex located in a jungle, an enemy sniper sees your squad and shoots the point man near the lungs. Sirens are raised. You hear soldiers coming towards your position and enemy artillery taking down the treeline. You see about ten of them, but there is definitely more. The seven people in your squad (besides you) is a Cavalry Scout (Hit), A Medic, A Field Artillery Officer, Two Infantrymen, A Fire Support Specialist, and an Indirect Fire Infantryman.

EDIT: Scenario added

Syldar
2016-04-04, 07:26 AM
Are you gonna post a scenario for someone else to do?

8BitNinja
2016-04-04, 09:53 AM
Are you gonna post a scenario for someone else to do?

I thought others were going to comment first, but if not, I'll post a scenario

somethingrandom
2016-04-10, 03:17 AM
I thought others were going to comment first, but if not, I'll post a scenario

Normally what happens in this game is someone posts what their character would do in the situation the poster above them discribes and then in the same post gives a situation for the poster below them to put their character in.

I think we should give 8BitNinja 1 mabye 2 more days to post a situation then if he has not the next person who fells like it should pick a random pevious post and respond to that and post a situation of there own.

8BitNinja
2016-04-12, 02:14 PM
Alright, so I added my scenario, it is on my original post above

Prince Zahn
2016-04-14, 05:42 AM
My half elf rogue has a curse upon her that keeps her unnoticed, constantly.
She scouts ahead and takes down snipers as she spots them with her bow, careful not to kill them with her sneak Attack damage that she dishes out most reliably. Her friends get the information they need to save the day, and take the credit for it, whereas whatserface gets gets nothing. What is she doing here, again?


You are having fun during your day at the beach, when next thing you know, you feel a strong sudden breeze as an Invisible Stalker blows past you and captures your best friend at an alarming speed. What do you do?

Syldar
2016-04-14, 07:38 AM
I cast the slow spell on said stalker (AOE spell, could aim for my friend), then drink a potion of true sight, then disintegrate the thing.

Three words: Tarrasque. With. Wings.

Skald
2016-04-15, 04:21 AM
I have a character with an alignment that is difficult to distinguish- His goal is to achieve world domination so that as a dictator, he can establish rules that promote individual responsibility, rights, and prosperity in a globally unified nation. He openly admits to his reason for this goal is completely self centered, because it's the world he wants to live in and has no regards for the comfort of others who enjoy the comfort of the status quo. He will use whatever means necessary to further this goal, including executing those who stand before him, and though he would avoid bloodshed, he will go with the most efficient approach available. However, once the new law has been established to a sustainable level, he plans to (if possible) convert the system to a true democracy and stand down from his office in order to enjoy his ideal society as a citizen.

Therefore, he would try to use the winged Tarrasque as propaganda to unify nations under his rule, uniting armies in an attempt to eliminate this beast that threatens the entire world.

Edit, also- what alignment WOULD that be? I mean,t it seems like lawful evil at first, but then you look at his reason, and you think maybe lawful good, or at least lawful neutral- but he places a high priority on individual freedoms, so I don't even know.

8BitNinja
2016-04-15, 11:01 AM
On the last scenario, the stalker is not so invisible, if I am on the beach, and there is someone I can't see behind me, I can still turn around and see the footprints, making it easy for me to dispatch my assailant