Iron Poet XXI

[Vaynor]

Welcome to Iron Poet, Round Twenty-one!

Rules

1) Only the first 16 respondents expressing a desire to compete will be the contestants. It IS a first come, first served basis.

2) The contest will consist of a number of rounds pitting 2 randomly determined poets against each other until only one contestant remains (winner).

3) Each match-up will be given a theme, picture, article, subject, or other criteria to write on, and the poem submitted must match this as much as possible. Stricter following of prompts may help you win. Prompts that are words may be interpreted in any way (and any form of the word can be used), but keep in mind the judge may not see the connection if it's too ambiguous.

4) The winner as determined by a panel of judges will advance to the next round.

5) In case of a judge or judges not posting judgments in a timely manner, Vaynor will adjudicate and determine the winner.

6) The poems will be limited to 1000 words with a 50 word minimum

7) The entries will be poems. All forms of poetry are acceptable, as long as they meet the required word lengths. If your chosen style is too short, you are free to make two of them, e.g. you may make a limerick with 48 words, then add another limerick, still following the same theme, to reach the required word length.

8) All posted deadlines will given in as much time zones as possible, as labeled.

9) No late entries will be accepted. If you don't post or fail to post by the deadline, you will be disqualified. A 15 minute grace period is allowed. You have one freebie per contest, use it wisely. This allows you to be up to half a day late (12 hours) with your poem (no more).

10) If your entry does not include the article(s) and the picture(s), you will most likely lose because of it, however this will not disqualify your poem, as poems are judged on best use of the prompts.

11) The judgments are final. What the judges decide is how it is.

12) The entries will only include content suitable for the Playground.

13) Anything not clear will be decided by me.

14) The contestants will have 1 week (roughly) from the bracket posting to get their entries posted.

15) Post your poems in spoilers. Judges: do not read poems before the round ends.

16) Feel free to edit the post with your poem in it until the round ends. After that, any additional edits will disqualify you (barring a use of your half-day extension).

17) Judges have 1 week to complete judgments. If not all judges respond by this time, the round will be decided as if the late judges were not a part of it (i.e. if there are 5 judges to begin with and only 3 are on time, the round will be decided with 2 votes as opposed to 3). If there are only an even number of judgments, I will cast the remaining vote. If the first round has 16 contestants, the time for judgments to be posted will be increased to two weeks.

18) At the end of each contest, everyone still reading the thread will be able to anonymously vote on their favorite poem of the entire contest (encompassing all rounds). The poem with the most votes will win the "Best of Show" award!

THE IRON POET HALL OF FAME
1. Ravyn (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=43424)
2. Rubakhin (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=54933)
3. Elvaris (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=69302)
4. Alarra (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=76283)
5. Truemane (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=82545)
6. Devigod (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=93376)
7. Alarra (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=106066)
8. Devigod (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=119306)
9. Alarra (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=141907)
10. Elvaris (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=155861)
11. Rutskarn (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=172822)
12. Alarra (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=182448)
13. averagejoe (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=193836)
14. Asthix (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=213888)
15. truemane (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=226578)
16. Techwarrior (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=247178)
17. Halberd (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=262208)
18. Alarra (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=274330)
19. Dr Bwaa (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?302742-Iron-Poet-XIX)
20. The Extinguisher (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?355331-Iron-Poet-XX)

Contestants:


Benthesquid
FinnLassie
Slayerofundead
SeptimusFabrius
Duck999
Cuthalion
PhoeKun
CWater
leakingpen
Garwain
SaintRidley
jolus
Mr Tumnus
TFT
truemane
The Extinguisher


Judges:

Dr Bwaa
TheWombatOfDoom
Vaynor






POTENTIAL APPLICANTS FOR THE JUDGE POSITION TAKE NOTE: THESE CONTESTS LAST A LONG TIME AND THIS IS NOT A FLEETING RESPONSIBILITY. IF YOU SIGN UP I EXPECT YOU TO POST JUDGMENTS ON TIME. IF YOU FEEL THAT YOU ARE NO LONGER ABLE TO POST JUDGMENTS, TELL ME. THANK YOU.

[Benthesquid]

I'll toss my hat back in as a contender.

[FinnLassie]

I'll be up for being a contestant. :smallredface:

[Dallas-Dakota]

In, to try and beat Finnlassie. And most likely fail.

[FinnLassie]

In, to try and beat Finnlassie. And most likely fail.

Is that really your thriving force? :smallamused:

[Duck999]

I'll try, and maybe I will do better.

[Cuthalion]

I shall play to beat Finn here as well, methinks.

[PhoeKun]

I don't expect very much to come of this, but please mark me down as a contestant. :smallsmile:

[Dallas-Dakota]

Is that really your thriving force? :smallamused:

More of a thrusting force.:smallamused:

[CWater]

I'd like to compete this time.:smallsmile:

[FinnLassie]

More of a thrusting force.:smallamused:

I... I'm really concerned by this sentence because I feel like I've misunderstood something :smalleek:

[TheWombatOfDoom]

I think I might just stay in the audience this round...

[leakingpen]

I would like to compete if there is still room. Thank you.


Lassie, the fact that it worries you means you probably got it JUST right.

[Dr Bwaa]

I will gladly judge again, if you'll have me.

[Vaynor]

The first post is up to date, and we still need 7 more competitors and 2 more judges. Let's get this contest started, just need a few more!

[Garwain]

I'm in as a contestant this time.

[Vaynor]

Come on guys, let's get this going!

[SaintRidley]

This semester might be conducive to participating again, so in to compete. I have some complex verse styles I'd like to try out.

[jolus]

I'd love to take part as contestant. Count me in.

[Mr Tumnus]

Sure, why not. Lets give it a try.

[FinnLassie]

Just three more contestants and a couple of judges, and we can get on writing! :smallbiggrin:

[TheWombatOfDoom]

Maybe I should give judging a try?

[TFT]

I'll sign up as a poet. Hopefully the fact I'm writing poems in my creative writing class too means there's no way I can miss one of these. :smalltongue:

[Vaynor]

Maybe one of us should make a post in the RB thread about it, see if we can attract some aspiring poets. Surely there're a couple around?

That's a good idea, would you mind doing that? We just need two more contestants and a judge.


Maybe I should give judging a try?

Does that mean you'll judge, or that you're thinking about it?

[TheWombatOfDoom]

That's a good idea, would you mind doing that? We just need two more contestants and a judge.



Does that mean you'll judge, or that you're thinking about it?

Eh what the heck. I'll judge.

[truemane]

I'll compete. It's been a while. :)

[Vaynor]

We just need one more contestant, then. I can fill in for the third judging position.

[The Extinguisher]

Ah, I'm in. I didn't want to go this round, cause I've got a lot of other things to do in February, but this might actually help get that done so I'll compete.

[Dallas-Dakota]

I'm going to have to cancel. I'm sorry, I don't think I can give this the time it will need.

[Slayerofundead]

If there is room. I will attempt to sweep up my competition with a broom.

[Vaynor]

With that sorted, we're full up on contestants and ready to start. I'll try to have the first round posted by tonight.

[FinnLassie]

I'm going to have to cancel. I'm sorry, I don't think I can give this the time it will need.

Aww. :smallfrown: Well, we'll see you on another round!


With that sorted, we're full up on contestants and ready to start. I'll try to have the first round posted by tonight.

Yay!

[Vaynor]

Iron Poet XXI: Round One

And with a sudden and hopefully boisterous start, the first round of the twenty-first Iron Poet begins! I'll be sending out PMs to all participants to make sure that everyone knows that the contest has begun, since our recruitment process took a bit longer than usual. We're going to start the first round off with a, I hope welcomed, change to my usual formula. Let me know what your thoughts are on the prompts this round, the prompts in general, and any thoughts you have on how the prompts could be improved (both in this case and in past contests). Most of these ask you for something a bit more personal, hopefully not too much so. Good luck to everyone!

Duck999 vs. Benthesquid: Write a poem from the perspective of a character in a fairy tale.
PhoeKun vs. SeptimusFabrius: Write a poem about something that disappointed you.
Cuthalion vs. Mr Tumnus: Write a poem about the sounds you can hear from where you're writing it.
leakingpen vs. The Extinguisher: Write a poem about your favorite person, whether they are real, imagined, or otherwise.
Garwain vs. Slayerofundead: Write a poem about family (does not have to be yours).
truemane vs. SaintRidley: Write a poem about something that was recently in the news (remember, no politics/religion).
FinnLassie vs. jolus: Write a poem about something unexpected that happened to you.
CWater vs. TFT: Write a poem about the place you grew up in (this could be the city or country, or even as specific as your home or room).

Deadline: Tuesday, February 17th 2015 at 11:59 pm (EST).

[FinnLassie]

Instant inspiration. Entry for the round:

A Russian brute walks into a bar
Hours before this a couple of Finns walk afar
Getting closer as the gig's about to start

A Russian brute gets totally hammered
Some Finns in the crowd far less plastered
And a couple of them sworn never to drink

My memory's black and I'm on the ground
Hyperventilating and to the floor I am bound
Angry screams with a slap on the cheek

Staff carries me away, head's pounding
Asking for my inhaler - nowhere to be found
It's a damn panic attack with concussion, you blind?!

Elbow in my face, glasses shattered
It honestly felt like I was completely battered
Could have sworn I had gone under a gnu stampede

The story tells there was a Russian brute indeed
Who doesn't seem to understand the etiquette of a gig
Sure, have fun, but others shouldn't be put down

A Russian brute jumped up and down
Finntroll played and the audience went wild
No way a mosh pit here would remain mild

Can't blame myself for someone else being so foolish.

[Vaynor]

So I take it you're a fan of this type of prompt, then? I was a bit worried about trying out something so different, but if people prefer it to my usual style (words/pictures) I can try to incorporate rounds with this kind of prompt more often. It's definitely more difficult to come up with these, but if it's worth it to you guys I don't mind.

[Duck999]

Am I correct that I am supposed to choose a character from a fairy tale and write a poem from their perspective? Like Cinderella or Hansel or Gretle? Should I say who's perspective it's from?

[SaintRidley]

Do we need to link our news source?

[Vaynor]

Am I correct that I am supposed to choose a character from a fairy tale and write a poem from their perspective? Like Cinderella or Hansel or Gretle? Should I say who's perspective it's from?

Correct. If you want to, it's up to you.


Do we need to link our news source?

No, but you can include it as part of your submission if you'd like the judges to see it when reading your poem.

[Benthesquid]

Aww, man, it's a good theme, but one of my favorite poems I've written is basically based on that theme.

[Slayerofundead]

Family

Family

What is it that makes us kin? Is it our blood? Is it our skin?Is it trust? Is it love? Is it all of these above? Is all that matters trust and love?What is family with out blood? What is family without trust? What is family without love? There is family forged by war. There is the family in which you are born. There is the family that you pick. There is the family in which you stick.

[Garwain]

Family

An organism on its best,
competing in life and love,
often a diamond in the rough,
but dysfunctional even at rest.
Holding hands in winter times,
relying on entangled vines,
bound by their common lines,
amplification of their rhymes.
Perfectly able of happiness,
when all minds are set
and understand it's best
not to content with anything less
than the common safe bet
of family, even in rest.

[truemane]

Oh, man. Worst prompt ever. I mean, it's a great idea, Vaynor. Keeping things fresh is awesome and it's a really good idea.

But I the ANTI-news guy. I have no idea what's happening unless someone posts it on my Facebook.

This is gonna be tough.

[Vaynor]

I'd suggest just looking at a news site and finding something that catches your eye. You don't really need to be aware of anything that's going on. Sorry the prompt is causing you trouble, good luck!

[The Extinguisher]

Great, now not only do I have to write a poem in a week, I also need to agonize over my favourite person too. Thanks :smalltongue:

I really like these prompts. Even if it makes my life hard.

[Slayerofundead]

What value has victory that is not hard won

[Benthesquid]

Prompt: Fairy tale


The Tale of the Deathless

Tsarevitch, put away your sword,.
There is no need to spill your red, red blood
And stain the snow so pure and white.
Not by your hand will I die,
Not on this night,
Though oh, how I could wish I might.

Draw close, draw close, my foolish boy,
Sit yourself down at the sorcerer’s feet,
And I will tell you such a tale,
Hear it and you’ll understand
And you’ll grow pale,
And know your quest is doomed to fail.

When I was yet a callow youth
In the forest of night I lost my way
And came across a crooked house
I crept up to the crooked door
Crept like a mouse
And so it was the cat did pounce.

“Aha,” the house’s mistress cried
And seized me tight in her grip of iron
“What skulking thief is this I’ve caught?
What great luck has to my door
This morsel brought?
This quaking, cringing, fearful tot?”

(Yes, yes. It is a fine bow/you’ve strung so tight/and a fine shaft/you’ve launched in flight/and a fine point/buried in my breast/But I’ve told you once/I cannot rest)

“No thief am I,” I answered back,
“Only a traveller lost in these woods.
Fearful because I have heard said
That they have, who dwell in this dark forest
On manflesh fed,”
Now I saw her mouth stained blood red.

That crooked hag, who held me tight,
Grinned horribly with mossy iron fangs
“Morsel, your fears are at an end
You’ll die this night, my tasty meal
Your flesh I’ll rend
The worst is here, be calm my friend.”

“I am yet only more afraid,”
I cried, struggling, though it was in vain
““For while I need not fear the dawn,
And what fresh trouble it may bring
What bitter song,
I still fear death, and all beyond.”

(Yes, yes. It is a fine spear/you’ve cast so true/And a fine poison/your bird did brew/and a fine throw/to catch my heart/But to end my life/is not your part)

The hag laughed, like windborn plague
And dragged me, shouting through her crooked door.
“If death is all you fear, young meal,
Then lay your fears to dreamless rest
Your wounds will heal.
I’ve long since brought Sir Death to heel.”

The flesh she took has long since grown,
And I am made a whole man once again
But the death that she hid away
In a bird’s chest, in a wolf’s mouth
Where nights meets day
Remains hidden, where four winds play
And so no man, may Koschei slay
Run my princeling, hide and pray.

[truemane]

I'd suggest just looking at a news site and finding something that catches your eye. You don't really need to be aware of anything that's going on. Sorry the prompt is causing you trouble, good luck!

Yeah, that's what I'll do. And no need to apologize. Just complaining. It's no fun if you have it too easy, right?

[Cuthalion]

Telephone
We talk through it,
Speak through it,
Tell about our lives,
It hears all our sadness,
And listens to our tears.
Does it know?

Telephone
It breaks, we cry,
We get another phone,
And throw the last away.
It's nothing but an item
And the only time we use it
Is to speak with others.

Telephone
Nobody talks to it,
Everyone talks through it,
Talking to another person,
Heart to heart, one on one
Is the phone lonely?

Telephone
It know what's in our hearts,
But a telephone has none,
Does it have emotions?
Shall we ever know?
Or will we keep talking,
And care not for the
Telephone

[SaintRidley]

Okay, still tinkering with the poem, but I'll reserve this as my poem post and just leave this (http://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/dominos-sadomasochistic-sriracha-pizza-ad-surfaces-online-photo-2015281) here as the news story inspiring me.


50 Toppings Hungrier

My inner goddess
turns inward

a goddess who
goshes
and gushes
is shushed

gagged into
silence

her chosen restraint
tongueties

surrenders
her speech
to tonguecracking

whipslashing

Empires
of pain
and abuse

no use
down there

downstairs
in a dungeon

pungent with
the aroma

of garlic
romano
serrano

hot
spicy and
kinky

My inner goddess
sighs

and is silenced

[Vaynor]

I have rarely felt so worried and excited simultaneously before.

[The Extinguisher]

I have rarely felt so worried and excited simultaneously before.

Clearly you haven't ordered Domino's Sriracha Pizza before.

[Vaynor]

True. I think I'll be keeping it that way, however.

[jolus]

A little Haiku on something unexcpected.

To my surprise, a
Hairdryer runs in a tub
If it's ungrounded.

[Vaynor]

Jolus, your poem needs to be at least 50 words as detailed in the rules in the first post.

[SaintRidley]

Well, now that I've figured out the title, the poem is now posted.

[Duck999]

Poem time! I have now learned the Adventures of Pinocchio (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Adventures_of_Pinocchio), which is actually really strange.
My dream
it was so simple:
so simple and so sweet.

My dream
was something special:
something that can't be beat.

My dream
was to be granted:
granted in due time.

My dream
had one requirement:
stay out of any crime.

My dream
was ruined:
ruined by those nearby.

My dream
said stay in school:
the boys just had to lie.

My dream
was to be a real boy:
just like everyone.

My dream
involved family:
without that it would be no fun.

My dream
was not completed:
and it never would be.

My dream
was a lost cause:
Lost to all but me.

My dream
would never end:
not without being complete.

My dream
had me save a fairy:
giving her part of my treat.

My dream
was finally done:
I am now a real boy.

My dream
is like a luxury:
no longer being a toy.

[The Extinguisher]

Woo, poem time.


Song For Leah

I've been getting older
My eyes are getting worse
My ears the cannot hear you
My hands and my wrists hurt
The things I can remember
Get smaller every day
I can’t hold conversation
I've got nothing left to say

Will you still love me
When I don’t remember you
Will you still want me
When I’m too far gone to save
Will I still need you
When I don’t know who I am
Will I still love you
In the end

You've been getting stronger
Your heart is still so large
The kindness in your eyes
Makes all of this so hard
The feeling that you give me
That nothing could go wrong
Is what I’ll miss the most
When my mind is dead and gone

Will you still love me
When I don’t remember you
Will you still want me
When I’m too far gone to save
Will I still need you
When I don’t know who I am
Will I still love you
In the end

So you sit there
With your beautiful heart
Bared upon your sleeve
Thinking that you're not
Good enough for me
But don't ever forget
When you're feeling blue
For as long as I possibly can
I'll always love you

Cause I will still love you
When I don't remember you
And I will still want you
When I'm too far gone to save
And I will still need you
When I don't know who I am
And I will still love you
In the end

[CWater]

This came at a bit of a bad time for me, as I'm in the middle of exam weeks, but I found the time to write this.:smallsmile: It's perhaps a little unpolished, I'll edit it if I have time.

Where does time stop
Where can you hear silent streets
Where can you see gentle waves, clear waters
Where can you know every face, and not say a single word

There by the empty railway station
There you can walk in peace
There you can listen to the sea
There you can meet and not greet

During the winter, the town hibernates
During the summer, it's filled with twice the noise
During the spring, the forest fields grow white
During the autumn, the trees dress in bright red

Greet in a language you no longer speak
Watch the waves that are no more unique
Enjoy the silence that only seems sad
Just there, where time has stopped

[PhoeKun]

This is a very ironic prompt.

Disappointment:

She's there in the park, on the freshly cut grass
With a bat in her hands and the sun beating down
On her unwashed blonde hair pulled tight in a tail
That twitches and sways with every move that she makes.

She's dripping with sweat, 'cause her clothes are too warm
But that ratty old hoodie is all she's got left
So she grits, and she glistens, and tightens her grip
Till her knuckles turn whiter than ash around the shaft

So this girl of my dreams with hard sapphire eyes
Is poised and she's perfect and waiting to spring
From the ballpark to knighthood and fairy tale things
But she's waiting, she's waiting, for something to happen

And my hands hang poised in the air
Lower now, lower. A click and a clack, to hear the crack
Only, the ticking of the clock becomes the tearing of the page.
I replace my calendar, and nothing at all gets done.

I can remember swearing
That I'd give her a life that shines like silver.
But that promise shatters like stained glass
And I cut my feet on the glittering fragments.

She tells me I owe her a story.
The air is so still. A sigh dies on my lips.
The light on the screen flickers and
Goes out.

[TFT]

I am taking my extension for this one. This poem got rather personal, so I really want it to turn out well. Worst case I will post what I have before the extension deadline. :smallsmile:

[truemane]

Once more unto the breach, my friends!

Task: write a poem based on something that has been in the news lately.

My news item:
http://news.nationalpost.com/2015/02/13/king-richard-iii-probably-spent-the-last-moments-life-on-knees-before-taking-a-sword-through-the-brain-analysis/

And my poem:

[truemane]

And at my count we have 13 poems, and one person using their extension (so we're assuming 14).

I think 14 would tie for the best first round turnout ever.

So if we can get 15! Or *GASP* a perfect round!

Be still my geeky lil heart.

[jolus]

Jolus, your poem needs to be at least 50 words as detailed in the rules in the first post.

I'm afraid so... Thought I'd have more time for this, but I guess this means I'll fold. Sorry :smallfrown:

[truemane]

So, assuming TFT gets his done by noon, we'll have 13 poems.

Which is about average.

[TFT]

I'm not entirely happy with my poem, but it's closer to what I want it to be then it isn't.


Moved


The first house I remember:
Byron Ave., surrounded by suburbs,
Street solidly friendly, surprisingly so.
With dad, DIY-man,
doing developing, detailing, repairing.
and mom, a real homemaker,
Responsible caretaker, rearing and raising us,
who never realized rising problems.

Within a few years we moved:
“Candy Cane Lane”, craving creativity,
Yearly converting, celebrating cold.
My dad, still repairman,
A situation to fix, not solely small somethings,
and mom, a reduced rearing role:
rare retail worker, part-time mother,
with scarce hints to show internal strife.

Painful years passed, producing moves:
To grandma’s house, beside big abundance,

“Extended stay”, a brief-lived hotel
barbered bushes, beautiful buildings

bounded by business, busy streets and freeways
With dad, partially preparing

With mom, proceeding in planning
Slowly enduring, planning to proceed

Full-time worker, preparing in part
And nonna, interim nanny

And us, then bound to one room
preparing home meals, providing parenting

Perpetual pressure, not one private place

All of us children learning to cope.

Months more, each moved.
Metropolitan apartment, amongst many masses,

A condo near water, in maritime setting
With dad, making ends meet,

With mom, more worker than mother,
Beginning small projects, and starting to date.

Mere hours to mother, making the most of it.
and us, small replacements,

and us, filling in as we could,
Me full house waker, my sister morning preparer,

Me, small problem fixer, my sister argument settler,

Filling in gaps, spots left behind
Adjusting to life after all fell apart


We eventually moved, though not for the last time:
My dad buying a permanent home,

My mom and us moving far away,

But by this time, I was fairly well grown.
Not fully adult, but far more mature.
Past childhood innocence,
past naiveté.
And with this move, to a small desert town,
Now facing high school, a challenge unknown,
I moved on.

[FinnLassie]

Woo, time to wait for the judgin's' :smallbiggrin:

[truemane]

And speaking of judges, here's your handy dandy Round One Summation Post!

ROUND ONE
Duck999 (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=18826896&postcount=60) vs. Benthesquid (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=18801069&postcount=48): Write a poem from the perspective of a character in a fairy tale.
PhoeKun (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=18830467&postcount=63) vs. SeptimusFabrius (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=18824419&postcount=55): Write a poem about something that disappointed you.
Cuthalion (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=18813643&postcount=50) vs. Mr Tumnus: Write a poem about the sounds you can hear from where you're writing it.
leakingpen vs. The Extinguisher (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=18826947&postcount=61): Write a poem about your favorite person, whether they are real, imagined, or otherwise.
Garwain (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=18797272&postcount=43)vs. Slayerofundead (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=18796336&postcount=42): Write a poem about family (does not have to be yours).
truemane (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=18837745&postcount=66) vs. SaintRidley (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=18821123&postcount=51): Write a poem about something that was recently in the news (remember, no politics/religion).
FinnLassie (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=18794486&postcount=36) vs. jolus (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=18824826&postcount=56): Write a poem about something unexpected that happened to you.
CWater (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=18829064&postcount=62) vs. TFT (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=18839829&postcount=70): Write a poem about the place you grew up in (this could be the city or country, or even as specific as your home or room).

And now, we wait. :smallcool:

[TheWombatOfDoom]

And speaking of judges, here's your handy dandy Round One Summation Post!

ROUND ONE
Duck999 (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=18826896&postcount=60) vs. Benthesquid (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=18801069&postcount=48): Write a poem from the perspective of a character in a fairy tale.
PhoeKun (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=18830467&postcount=63) vs. SeptimusFabrius (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=18824419&postcount=55): Write a poem about something that disappointed you.
Cuthalion (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=18813643&postcount=50) vs. Mr Tumnus: Write a poem about the sounds you can hear from where you're writing it.
leakingpen vs. The Extinguisher (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=18826947&postcount=61): Write a poem about your favorite person, whether they are real, imagined, or otherwise.
Garwain vs. Slayerofundead (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=18796336&postcount=42): Write a poem about family (does not have to be yours).
truemane (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=18837745&postcount=66) vs. SaintRidley (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=18821123&postcount=51): Write a poem about something that was recently in the news (remember, no politics/religion).
FinnLassie (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=18794486&postcount=36) vs. jolus (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=18824826&postcount=56): Write a poem about something unexpected that happened to you.
CWater (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=18829064&postcount=62) vs. TFT (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=18839829&postcount=70): Write a poem about the place you grew up in (this could be the city or country, or even as specific as your home or room).

And now, we wait. :smallcool:

You are well thanked for this! I appreciate it!

[Cuthalion]

Well, I'm winning by default. That's a bit of a letdown. But eh.

do i get to fight finn next??!

[truemane]

Yeah. I been there. A few times. It's always a mixed blessing. Like kissing your sister, as the saying goes.

[Slayerofundead]

Is it over or are we going to do this thing.

[Duck999]

Is it over or are we going to do this thing.

It can take a bit for judges to judge and post their judging, so we just need to patiently wait for winners of round 1 to be announced.

[truemane]

Is it over or are we going to do this thing.

Judges usually have a week to post critiques. And, for the first round, we usually give them two weeks, because intelligently critiquing sixteen (thirteen) poems is a lot of work.

[Vaynor]

Judges usually have a week to post critiques. And, for the first round, we usually give them two weeks, because intelligently critiquing sixteen (thirteen) poems is a lot of work.

That about sums it up. This contest has never been quick to finish.

[Slayerofundead]

Thank you very much

[Szilard]

Oh, hey, if y'all end up needing another judge, I'm around. Ish. :smallcool:

[Vaynor]

I'll be able to do the judgments for this round, but if you could maybe step in for me after that I'd appreciate it.

[truemane]

Tomorrow is two weeks. I eagerly anticipate judgments. :smallsmile:

[truemane]

It's a little bit Thursday now. Any judges still around?

[TheWombatOfDoom]

It's a little bit Thursday now. Any judges still around?

You should be getting mine soon. Things are a bit hectic here, and the snow storm didn't help, but I should be getting them in shortly!

[Vaynor]

I should have them done this weekend, if all goes well.

[Dr Bwaa]

Same; I'll have them done this weekend.

[Slayerofundead]

Orc make words you read now or Orcs smash!!

[TheWombatOfDoom]

A nice retelling of an old story. The repetetive nature works to a point, but it at times limits the amount you could say in certain parts. Still I liked the flow.
While I wasn't sure if the story you told in the poem was an existing fairy tale, it certainly felt like one! I like the imagary, and while some of the usage of words could have been improved, overall, it was well executed.

Benthesquid wins my vote.

I really enjoyed this. Particularly the second half when compared to the first. The theme is quite clear, and in an unexpected way. Well done.
Somehow this feels dark, and I can feel the disappointment. I appreciate the personal aspects of the author. A nice poem to show the theme.

PhoeKun wins.

An interesting imagining of the personification of a device we use constantly. Very nice.
No entry.

Cuthalion wins by default!

No entry.
I'm not exactly sure what the actual situation is, but it reminds me of my grandmother and grandfather when they were battling althimers and dementia respectively, and hit me right in the feels. A nice poem.

The Extinguisher wins by default!

Sorry I missed this first run through...but I'm glad to see it not be a forfeit! I like that you didn't use the usual version of family, and expanded it a bit.
I would have prefered some sort of breakup of the words in this, but otherwise it works with the theme. Thank you for your submission!

Garwain wins this round.

I like this one a lot. You get your full idea across even with the brevity of the poem. I like the final message as well. Nicely done.
I laughed at the news article, and even harder at the title. Its a great execution, and a very unique choice for a subject.

This one was tough, but I vote truemane as the winner of this one.
Added note: truemane must have used extention, as the poem was posted past the 15 minute grace period. Vaynor okay'd it.

Not going to lie, I immediately thought of the "_____ walks into a bar..." joke. "To the floor I am bound" led me to believe you were tied up to the floor with rope. I think you meant you were falling to the floor. I hope this isn't a true story! :smalleek:
Fails to meet the 50 word minimum. I wasn't expecting that to happen...

FinnLassie wins by default.

I like the repetitions of the first three stanzas, and the imagery works well to tell us details of the place you grew up. It shows a bit of nostalgia, as we often get when looking back. However, it left me wanting to know more about it...
I really like what you're going for here, and I immdiately identify with it, because I come from a broken home. I like how when you get to the actual fracture, you actually split up the poem, but at the same time it makes it harder to read. I admire the amount of honesty in emotion you went into in your description of "where you grew up".

TFT is my choice for this one.
Added note: TFT used extention

[truemane]

Added note: truemane must have used extention, as the poem was posted past the 15 minute grace period.

Hm. That's odd. My memory of that night is that I got it in before midnight. Historically, I'm very careful about those things. And the chat log I have with my SO that evening indicates that I posted it just before 11:30 and then went to bed about ten minutes after.

Is it possible that Daylight Savings Time messed with the time signature?

[TheWombatOfDoom]

Hm. That's odd. My memory of that night is that I got it in before midnight. Historically, I'm very careful about those things. And the chat log I have with my SO that evening indicates that I posted it just before 11:30 and then went to bed about ten minutes after.

Is it possible that Daylight Savings Time messed with the time signature?

I'm unsure if it affects this or not, but maybe Vaynor can chime in on that?

[truemane]

I mean, it's not a huge deal, all in all. I can live without my extension. I'd just hate to get disqualified at any point over something like this.

[TheWombatOfDoom]

I mean, it's not a huge deal, all in all. I can live without my extension. I'd just hate to get disqualified at any point over something like this.

Yeah, I get that. Ultimately, whatever Vaynor calls, I'll go with.

[SaintRidley]

Shouldn't have. DST kicks in at 2:00 am.

[TheWombatOfDoom]

It also depends on what your actual time is in your region. The rules state EST as the time to go by, so if you're central, it'd be an hour off.

[truemane]

Yeah, no, that's just it. I live in EST. So for me, due at midnight means due at midnight.

What I was wondering is, is there a chance that the way the forum handles DST somehow retroactively added an hour to all the previous time signatures?

I have no way to confirm this, as I don't post that much elsewhere and I don't have any posts with a clearly identifiable event in them that I can reference later.

Except, as i said, I was google chatting with my SO at 11:30 that evening and, even though I never SAID I posted it in the chat log, I recall posting it right around the time I emailed her the final version, and then I went to bed at about 11:35.

Very strange.

[TheWombatOfDoom]

Alright folks! Judgements are done! Find them back in this post:

http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=18931232&postcount=89

[Vaynor]

You don't need to use your extension for it, it's fine. I'm almost done with judgments. Sorry for the delay, everyone.

[FinnLassie]

Not going to lie, I immediately thought of the "_____ walks into a bar..." joke. "To the floor I am bound" led me to believe you were tied up to the floor with rope. I think you meant you were falling to the floor. I hope this isn't a true story! :smalleek:


All judges can read this after judging:

I was literally hit and knocked out by a large Russian man at a Finntroll gig in 2010. I had a rather bad panic attack when I was finally slapped awake by my friend, and also suffered a concussion - hence being "bound" on the floor. I just couldn't move. At all.

And yeah, the "... walks into a bar" line was intentionally picked up from the jokes, in attempt to "what the hell" the reader even more when the story takes an unpleasant turn. :smalltongue:

I also blamed myself for what had happened for a couple of years - and I have no idea why.

[Garwain]

Alright folks! Judgements are done! Find them back in this post:

http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=18931232&postcount=89


It seems you overlooked my entry (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=18797272&postcount=43). :smallconfused:

[TheWombatOfDoom]

I went by this:


And speaking of judges, here's your handy dandy Round One Summation Post!

ROUND ONE
Duck999 (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=18826896&postcount=60) vs. Benthesquid (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=18801069&postcount=48): Write a poem from the perspective of a character in a fairy tale.
PhoeKun (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=18830467&postcount=63) vs. SeptimusFabrius (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=18824419&postcount=55): Write a poem about something that disappointed you.
Cuthalion (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=18813643&postcount=50) vs. Mr Tumnus: Write a poem about the sounds you can hear from where you're writing it.
leakingpen vs. The Extinguisher (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=18826947&postcount=61): Write a poem about your favorite person, whether they are real, imagined, or otherwise.
Garwain vs. Slayerofundead (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=18796336&postcount=42): Write a poem about family (does not have to be yours).
truemane (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=18837745&postcount=66) vs. SaintRidley (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=18821123&postcount=51): Write a poem about something that was recently in the news (remember, no politics/religion).
FinnLassie (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=18794486&postcount=36) vs. jolus (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=18824826&postcount=56): Write a poem about something unexpected that happened to you.
CWater (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=18829064&postcount=62) vs. TFT (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=18839829&postcount=70): Write a poem about the place you grew up in (this could be the city or country, or even as specific as your home or room).

And now, we wait. :smallcool:

Which didn't have you linked. My apologies. I'll review yours and update that.

[truemane]

Oh Man! I'm all kinds of trouble, aren't I?

That's totally my bad, Garwain. Mea culpa. I edited my original post.

[TheWombatOfDoom]

And my judgements are edited! Thanks for letting me know I missed yours, Garwain.

[FinnLassie]

Me wantsie more Judgings *clappings*! Yay! *turns into the cutest halfling child ever*

*I mean who could say no to these adorable, cute halfling eyes*

[Dr Bwaa]

Judgments are nearly complete. Big sorries for the delay; you'll have them tomorrow afternoon.

[FinnLassie]

O! The suspense! My heart aches so!

[TFT]

So we just hit a month since the submissions were due. What's the progress on the judgement?

[Vaynor]

I sent a PM to Szilard taking him up on his offer to be a judge, as I simply don't have the time to do them right now.

[TheWombatOfDoom]

So we just hit a month since the submissions were due. What's the progress on the judgement?

My judgements are in. :smallcool: The others we are still waiting on.

[Szilard]

I sent a PM to Szilard taking him up on his offer to be a judge, as I simply don't have the time to do them right now.

Well, luckily for y'all, I'm currently have 11 hours to kill at an airport, so I'll get right to it. :smallbiggrin:

[Dr Bwaa]

Sorry, sorry! I'll post them tomorrow (for real though; I know I keep promising that). Thank you all for your patience (and for your poems!).

[Szilard]

The long awaited judgements!

Round 1!

Duck999 vs Benthesquid

Prompt: Write a poem from the perspective of a character in a fairy tale.

Duck999

First impressions: I like the rhyme. The structure is fun. Repetition of "My dream" seems to work well enough. A bit blunt, but adds to the structure, and reinforces the point of the poem.

Delving deeper: So rhyme you got, but rhythm not so much. Definitely a good chunk of the poem flows, but some stanzas don't flow so well--especially going from the second to third line at times. I recommend reading your poem out loud and seeing where things sound abrupt, or don't roll off the tongue so easily.


Benthesquid

First impressions: Damn that's long, let's hop right in! So even after reading it, I still can't place if this takes place in a specific fairy tale, or just in a general fairy-tale-type-place. Definitely has a witch and some sort of magic, if I read it right. You've definitely got a complex sort of structure going for you. An 8-10-8-8-4-8 syllable pattern for the most part, from what I can tell. I like the tale. Taunting. Guy encounters a witch, and now can't die? Am I getting that right?

Delving deeper: Okay, things become a bit more clear on the second readthrough. The voice of the story encounters this dude who wants to kill him. So this voice (a sorcerer maybe?) narrates the story of how he became immortal: by telling a hag he feared death and what lay beyond. This is to tell the guy that it would be a waste to try and kill him, for he cannot die. Crazy stuff. I also like the parenthetical stanzas--keeps things interesting and reminds the reader that this is a tale within the poem, and that the guy is still trying to kill the narrator for whatever reason. I love it. Haunting. Well written.


Winner:

Benthesquid



PhoeKun vs SeptimusFabrius

Prompt: Write a poem about something that disappointed you.

PhoeKun

First impression: I feel sad, but I'm not entirely sure what just happened.

Delving deeper: Okay, baseball. *That* kind of bat. :smallredface: Also, I really love the lines "So this girl of my dreams with hard sapphire eyes/Is poised and she's perfect and waiting to spring/From the ballpark to knighthood and fairy tale things/But she's waiting, she's waiting, for something to happen." Something about that stanza just seems to move so well. Jafeel? Then time passes, a lot of time. And I guess someone dies maybe, but they never got all they wanted out of life. That would be rather disappointing. I definitely like how some of the sentences continue after the line breaks. Adds a good amount of continuity. That's not the right word. But I like it. Then the abruptness of the end, it just works.


SeptimusFabrius

First Impressions: I like your version of the sonnet. The ABBA rhyme every four lines is some good stuff. Actually, looking again, it seems you got ABBAABBACDECDE. I suppose I'm just more used to seeing shakespearean sonnets, but I always love when people do different arrangements of 14 lines! Not gonna bother counting syllables, I'll just trust you got that right. :smallwink:

Delving deeper: Guy likes a girl, can't quite achieve the balls necessary to ask her out. Thus disappointment. This poem seems way too applicable in life.


Winner:

This was sort of a hard one. They both dealt with the same scenario: the guy not living up to the expectations of the girl, and things just sort of didn't happen. Both beautiful poems.

PhoeKun



Cuthalion vs Mr Tumnus

Prompt: Write a poem about the sounds you can hear from where you're writing it.

Cuthalion

Now I feel sad for my phone. :smallfrown:


Mr Tumnus

No poem.


Winner

Cuthalion



leakingpen vs The Extinguisher

Prompt: Write a poem about your favorite person, whether they are real, imagined, or otherwise.

leakingpen

No Poem


The Extinguisher

Sad and sweet and everything in between. Good stuff.


Winner

The Extinguisher



Garwain vs Slayerofundead

Prompt: Write a poem about family (does not have to be yours).

Garwain

First impression: I liked the rhyme. Not entirely sure what's going on. There's an organism and freezing maybe.

Delving deeper: I've narrowed it down to either bears or sloths. But I really have no idea. Something about family. Which makes sense, as that is the prompt. Or maybe you're just being general. The theme is good. Rhyme is good. Got a pretty good rhythm going for it too.


Slayerofundead

First impression: definitely didn't expect it all to be in one line. That's unusual. But the way it's written feels like a poem. More or less. Lots of questions, but also lots of ideas thrown around. Not sure if it has a consistent theme.

Delving deeper: Still sorta confused why you kept it in sorta prose form. I definitely see some parallels between lines, and I feel like these would have benefited from being in stanzas. The general theme seems to be that there's a lot of different kinds of families?


Winner

Garwain



truemane vs SaintRidley

Prompt: Write a poem about something that was recently in the news (remember, no politics/religion).

truemane

First impression: Love the reference to shakespeare "My kingdom for a horse."

Delving deeper: At some point I got distracted by a skype call with my girlfriend, lemme look at this stuff again. Appears to be a sonnet, so that's pretty jammin. The more I read it the more I love it.


SaintRidley

First impression: god damn this is hilarious. I love it. Like, holy hell, I read it aloud to my girlfriend (who I am still skyping) and she also thought it was hilarious.


Winner

This is the toughest decision I've ever had to make. And I had to choose what college to go to before. Like... one is beautiful, and one is hilarious and beautiful in its own way.

I'll go with SaintRidley. I laughed at that one harder than I cried at the Richard III poem. Again, it was a super hard decision.



FinnLassie vs. jolus

Prompt: Write a poem about something unexpected that happened to you.

FinnLassie

There's a mosh pit, I guess.


jolus

Morbidly hilarious, but rather short, and I believe we have a 50 word minimum for this contest.


Winner

FinnLassie



CWater vs TFT

Prompt: Write a poem about the place you grew up in (this could be the city or country, or even as specific as your home or room).

CWater

First impression: Huh. Good stuff. Sounded good in my head. Liked the rhyme. Felt... nice.

Delving Deeper: Okay, well, it only rhymed in like two lines, but that's enough for me. I liked the rhythm. Definitely ellicits feelings of home.


TFT

I like it. The separation between the sides of the family was well shown with the separation of the lines of the poem. I approve.


Winner

TFT

[Duck999]

So many spoilers nested in each other!
Thanks for your judgement. I figured that's what I still have to work on in my poems.

[Dr Bwaa]

In the interest of getting this moving again, I've removed my half-completed comments. I'll drop them back in when I'm done with all of them. For now, you can just have the final results.

Benthesquid

PhoeKun

Cuthalion

The Extinguisher

Garwain

truemane

FinnLassie

CWater

[SaintRidley]

Aww dang. Well, good go, truemane. Best of luck.

[Benthesquid]

Since I think all judgments are in...

Not actually a lot to say here, except I'll note that the fairy tale I loosely drew from was Koschei the Deathless (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Koschei)- the Russian sorcerer who hid his heart (or, in some versions, his soul or his death) in a fish in a duck in a hart in a tree. The witch, in my mind, was Baba Yaga, although I'm only now realizing that, to keep the rhythm of the poem, I didn't find room to mention any of her most iconic attributes (the mortar and pestle she flies in, the house with chicken legs...) but I did manage to leave in the iron teeth. The princeling being addressed, presumably, is one of those who didn't manage to befriend enough animals along the way to prove successful.

[CWater]

Congrats, TFT! Fair win, I admit yours managed to convey more feeling than mine.

[truemane]

Aww dang. Well, good go, truemane. Best of luck.

Thanks, SR. I was convinced it was going to go the other way. Your entry was great.

[FinnLassie]

When shall we continue the dance?

[Vaynor]

When shall we continue the dance?

NOW

Iron Poet XXI: Round 2

This round the theme is abstract and surreal images. You don't have to base your poem on the picture exactly (although you can if you want to), but at the very least on the feeling the image gave you.

truemane vs. Benthesquid: Extraordinary Machine (http://catch---22.deviantart.com/art/Extraordinary-Machine-520958682)
FinnLassie vs. The Extinguisher: Play with clouds (http://julie-rc.deviantart.com/art/Play-with-clouds-92740635)
Garwain vs. Cuthalion: Newborn (http://losalamos.deviantart.com/art/Newborn-164252857)
TFT vs. PhoeKun: Duel (http://dianacretu.deviantart.com/art/Duel-137396354)

Deadline: Tuesday, April 7th 2015 at 11:59 pm EDT.

[FinnLassie]

I have no idea if I'll be able to submit this round, but I'll at least try. I know 100% sure I won't be able to write or post on Good Friday.

I had an instant inspiration, but I'm just not satisfied with how it's turning out at all. :smallannoyed:

[SaintRidley]

Dang, that would have been a fun prompt.

Thread, you'll be proud to know that I premiered 50 Toppings Hungrier at a reading last night and it killed.

[truemane]

I know 100% sure I won't be able to write or post on Good Friday.

True story. Would there be any way we could extend the deadline to after the Easter weekend?

I'm actually going out of town on Thursday and expect most of Friday to be filled with family craziness.

[Vaynor]

Oh, right, holidays. I'll push the deadline back by a few days.

Edit: Deadline is now Tuesday, April 7th.

[Cuthalion]

Thanks Vaynor! :smallsmile:

[Garwain]

Iron Poet XXI: Round 2

Prompt: Newborn (http://losalamos.deviantart.com/art/Newborn-164252857)

Poem:

You are
but a dream
away and nested
in your dream
world of difference.

You find your inner
peace that protects
outside effects
of cold and indifference
to harm or to shape.

I wish I could
protect your dream
shelter and nest
warmth and comfort
I can't find.

I feel no self
pitty or regret
what shapes you
harms you or protects
you are escaping
outside effects.

You will find
rest assured
of dreaming
of cold or warmth
that will shape you.

[FinnLassie]

I will have to drop out. Having some really bad time with fever topped with migraine. I know the 12 hour extension will not help me.

[Vaynor]

I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you feel better!

[Cuthalion]

To be clear the deadline is tonight or tomorrow night?

[Benthesquid]

Round Two:

Every single movement
Calculated. Evaluated.
Aeons before movement
Was initiated.

The immaculate design.
Of some vast cool ancient mind.

Or, just possibly it's chaos,
A wild and bloody mess.

With such odd-shaped parts
Lightning fast eccentric arcs
It can be hard to tell.

This is surely the machinery of heaven.
This is surely the machinery of hell.

[Vaynor]

The deadline is tomorrow night, Tuesday the 7th.

[truemane]

Poem time. I might edit this before midnight. But I'm posting it here, just in case.

Prompt: Extraordinary Machine (http://catch---22.deviantart.com/art/Extraordinary-Machine-520958682)

Poem:

poem poem poem

[The Extinguisher]

I almost forgot to post this.

Prompt: Play with clouds (http://julie-rc.deviantart.com/art/Play-with-clouds-92740635)

“Rapid Mouth Movement”

I think I must be dreaming
Or else I should I be screaming
As high as I am up here
The ground still seems so near
Far far away
I once was there
Far far away
I never really cared
Far far away
Far far away
From my vivid
Imagination
And my conscious
Exacerbation
I’m broken
I’m missing
I’m hurting
I’m dreaming
I should have pretended
I was a little
Bit stronger

Drifting through listless anticipation
Missing conversation
In a sea of crowded dialogue
To be free from my frustration
It’s a goal I’ll never know
And I wonder should I go
Forward through the smog
Of fixation on the thoughts
To describe my aspirations
And I know I must be dreaming
Cause my thoughts
Are never
This clear

I think I must be dreaming
Cause I sometimes wake up screaming
Far far away
I’ll be believing
I’ll keep dreaming
I’ll keep scheming
Even if nothing really comes through
Even if…
If I...
Can’t say…
What’s on…
On my mind...

[Cuthalion]

Round two. Neext time I need to start earlier on in the week. >.<

Went on a walk
To see the sun
Sat on a rock
A big rock
That was fun

The sunset shone
In colors warm
I did not moan
This was the norm
Right?

But the werewolf
Didn't see it coming
Wait, a werewolf?
Why is there a werewolf?
I started running

Then there was a vampire
This is getting silly
I ran towards a fire
I was scared, really

And I jumped over the fire
But they went right in
And died
I sighed
And listened to the din

As they screamed
Owww this hurts
Yes, they screamed
I squirmed
Imagine that, fire hurts

And then it was over
The fire was out
I got up and ran

And I ran

It was dark
And cold
Wet

I
Fell
Asleep

I am sleep
I am dream
Alone
By myself
And there's nothing
That can hurt me
Because I'm here
I'm safe
Safe

[TFT]

Here's my entry

She opened the wooden door.
It creaked in surprise, paint chipping,
as it revealed the dust covered room.
I stared, for a moment, at the furniture,
The couches we had deemed boring,
The diamond patterned rug we hated,
That weird vase we couldn’t touch.
All there, covered in dust or sheets.

“It really has potential,” She said,
The woman in the formal black leading
As we wandered through the front hall,
Past the dining room, home of family dinners,
Silverware still on display, obscured by
now opaque glass that my mom would have scrubbed.
“A little old, sure, but we can fix that.”
Continuing through, we peeked through rooms,
The master bedroom, bed covered in silk,
My room, covered in the toys
My sister's room, equally cluttered.
I saw an old bunny, my sister’s
She outgrew years ago, when we left
This home, abandoning it to age.
I grabbed it for her.
She'd appreciate it.

We walked to the back, another aging door
Leading to wooden stairs covered in plants.
We walked down the stairs, creaking with each step,
To the dirt we used to play on
From dusk ‘til dawn.
Pretend adventures or little games,
Jumping and laughing at the freedom of outside.
“The back property is nice though.”
The woman gave me a small smile,
Walking back up the stairs.
I stared for a moment, reminiscing,
then followed suit.

We made our way back to the front.
The woman turned to me, calculating.
“This property could easily sell well.
What are you looking for it?”
“No sale.”
I stated. Her face twisted to surprise.
She could find another place to fix and sell.
I’ll stay here with this home, and the memories.
Both good and bad.

[PhoeKun]

Prompt: Duel (http://dianacretu.deviantart.com/art/Duel-137396354). Using my 12 hour extension. I didn't want to write this poem, but it's the only thing I could think of looking at that god damn picture.

Boxes and wrappers from weeks old takeout were scattered on the carpet
Nestled atop the cables and controllers all coiled like serpents
In that dusty, unkempt Paradise you found and gave to me.

That night, I remember, I walked across the room
Bare feet tiptoeing from one end to the other
Like a practiced dance that left everything hanging delicately in the balance we left it in.

You weren't home yet. I pulled open the curtains and lifted the window
To let the last of the evening light mingle with the lamps lighting in the streets
And hear the ocean wash over the quiet hum of engines and soft footfalls outside.

The air was cool and it rolled across my face while I stood there with my back to the door.
I pursed my lips, but I drew in my breath through my nose with a sharp huff and
With a clatter of a turning key, you opened the door and cast your shadow over mine.

We talked, though I don't remember what we said
Our quiet voices mingling with the noises from outside
Until you gestured at me, then at the couch against the yellowed stucco wall.

That couch was always so oddly pristine among the clutter of the rest of the house
And I think the plush brown softness of its fabric will stay burned into my mind forever.
You ran your fingers along its arm and gestured at me. I sat down.

And then, nothing changed.
Except everything did.
You stole kisses from me with your tongue.

I whimpered 'please' into your throat
But you took my words away
And pinned me against that stupid couch.

Body frozen
(no)
Hands wander
(no no)
Flipped on my stomach
(no no no)
Face shoved into a pillow.

I lost my skirt
Then
More

"You want it."

All I did was lie there.
Later I showered, but no amount of water washed away the shame or the filth
From the only clean thing in our house.

[truemane]

And here's your round summary, hopefully with more accuracy this time!

Iron Poet XXI: Round 2

truemane (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=19076454&postcount=132) vs. Benthesquid (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=19070626&postcount=130): Extraordinary Machine (http://catch---22.deviantart.com/art/Extraordinary-Machine-520958682)
FinnLassie vs. The Extinguisher (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=19076556&postcount=133): Play with clouds (http://julie-rc.deviantart.com/art/Play-with-clouds-92740635)
Garwain (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=19045331&postcount=126) vs. Cuthalion (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=19076925&postcount=134): Newborn (http://losalamos.deviantart.com/art/Newborn-164252857)
TFT (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=19077495&postcount=135) vs. PhoeKun (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=19079187&postcount=136): Duel (http://dianacretu.deviantart.com/art/Duel-137396354)

[truemane]

Hey judges! It's been a week. I can't speak for my fellow poets, but I'm anxious to get this thing moving.

[TheWombatOfDoom]

Hey judges! It's been a week. I can't speak for my fellow poets, but I'm anxious to get this thing moving.

Will get to them by next week. I've been working a lot of overtime, so its been pretty hard to find the time to dedicate to these. I'm not giving up voting, just asking for a bit of patience.

[Szilard]

Hey judges! It's been a week. I can't speak for my fellow poets, but I'm anxious to get this thing moving.

I literally remembered about this last night. So it's been on my mind, just sorta busy with work/school. Definitely by the end of tomorrow. 👍

[Szilard]

Okay, let's do this judging thing.


truemane vs Benthesquid

Prompt: Extraordinary Machine (http://catch---22.deviantart.com/art/Extraordinary-Machine-520958682)

truemane

First thoughts: Damn dude. I'm loving the rhyme, the internal rhyme, the rhythm, the occasional alliteration and assonance. Just absolutely love it. Lots of circular imagery. Makes sense considering your title. Felt like a song.

Delving deeper: I still like it. This person will go far for forgiveness.


Benthesquid

First thoughts: Short, direct, and fairly concise--I suppose efficient like a machine.

Delving deeper: I like that the first two stanzas are more staccato and machine-like when you talk about how calculating this machine is, but then when you start to write about the chaos, your words seem more fluid--more commas and longer words and it just seems to flow better. Then of course the matter of factness of the last two lines are just sorta confusing, but the poem seems to be about how one isn't sure how chaotic or orderly this machine is, so it makes sense. More or less. Seems here and there you have some rhyme, but I'm not entirely sure it is intentional (otherwise rhyming "movement" with "movement" is just sorta lazy), and a lot more of the rhyme is more slant than not. Of course, rhyme is not necessary.


Winner

truemane



FinnLassie vs The Extinguisher

Prompt: Play with clouds (http://julie-rc.deviantart.com/art/Play-with-clouds-92740635)

FinnLassie

No entry.


The Extinguisher

First impression: Seems.. wistful? I can't seem to English today, but that seems like an okay word. Very flowing, I felt like a lot of the time one line really led me onto the next.

Delving deeper: Second line: "Or else I should I be screaming" I think you have an extra "I" in there. I like the rhyme here or there, and I like how the thing flows, as I've mentioned. And if you were trying to portray someone tripping balls, I'd say you did a fairly good job.


Winner

The Extinguisher



Garwain vs Cuthalion

Prompt: Newborn (http://losalamos.deviantart.com/art/Newborn-164252857)

Garwain

First impressions: You spelled "pity" wrong, but I suppose I shouldn't be fixated on that.

Delving deeper: In your second stanza, did you mean "protects from"? Because from here it sorta seems that cold and indifference is being protected in this dream world. Or maybe I'm just reading it wrong. The whole thing just sorta seems very disjointed--but of course that could be what you were going for.


Cuthalion

First impression: Definitely had that dreamlike quality of things not-entirely-rational happening.

Delving deeper: Not entirely sure what to say about this one. It just kinda works.


Winner:

Cuthalion



TFT vs PhoeKun

Prompt: Duel (http://dianacretu.deviantart.com/art/Duel-137396354)

TFT

First impression: A sweet little poem. Wanting to get rid of something, but then deciding not to let go, because of sentiment or whatever. Very touching.

Delving deeper: I don't see anything wrong. I like it.


PhoeKun

First impression: Oh damn. Damn. That kinda came out of nowhere.

Delving deeper: Like, it hurts reading this. Maybe crying a bit. A bit emotional. But hell. This seems perfectly believable, and that scares me. The first few stanzas seemed to start kinda prose-y, but by the end... Damn.


Winner

PhoeKun

[Dr Bwaa]

I'll get mine up shortly (a day or two at worst). The email updates stopped for some reason so I totally forgot the round was over.

[Dr Bwaa]

Round Two
Spellcheck Your Entries

Prompt: Extraordinary Machine (http://catch---22.deviantart.com/art/Extraordinary-Machine-520958682)

This is great. The connection to the prompt is clear, but not forced, and the imagery is spectacular. There are some spots where the meter is a little weird, but for the most part the form is really enjoyable. Well done.
I like the duality here, though there are some places where the reasons for your punctuation choices are somewhat obscure. The last stanza does a good job of tying it together, though personally I feel like the whole thing relies a little too much on the prompt for descriptions: reading this out of context makes it much more difficult to tell what's going on, or visualize anything. Otherwise it's a very cool piece.
truemane


Prompt: Play with clouds (http://julie-rc.deviantart.com/art/Play-with-clouds-92740635)

No entry.
(Presumed) typo in the second line notwithstanding, this is quite interesting. It's always a challenge to write introspective pieces like this, but you've done a good job of it. You're also capturing the prompt without leaning on it, which is nice. The first stanza in particular is a bit mysterious to analyze. It sets the tone well. Nice entry.
The Extinguisher


Prompt: Newborn (http://losalamos.deviantart.com/art/Newborn-164252857)

You've done some very fanciful playing with form and grammar here. You evoke the prompt without relying on it for the description, which I appreciate. There's some weirdness in the second stanza that I'm still not really sold on, but overall the piece does a great job of capturing the dreamlike state you were shooting for.
This is a pretty, lighthearted (well, sort of) little piece you've got here. You came at the prompt in a very original way; I like it. I'm unsure of the reason for the structure shift near the end, but that's not to say I don't like it. At the very least it has some visual appeal. On the whole, it took me a while to come around to this one, but I like it.
Cuthalion


Prompt: Duel (http://dianacretu.deviantart.com/art/Duel-137396354)

I was really expecting a twist ending all the way through this. The atmosphere of abandoned memories comes through very strongly. That's the strongest part here, and the general suspense of the piece as you take this journey through a house frozen in time. I'm not really sold on the end; it's a little too predictable for my tastes, and it gives up the atmosphere you built up in the first three stanzas. Otherwise, this is a very strong entry.
Wow, what a dark (and clever) take on this prompt. The form is loose, but easily coherent enough to make the transitions meaningful. This is really just a well executed piece from start to finish.
PhoeKun

[Cuthalion]

I... what? Garwain, I thought you had this in the bag. Mine was not very good, I thought. I just would rather make a not very good one than not make one.

[PhoeKun]

Will get to them by next week. I've been working a lot of overtime, so its been pretty hard to find the time to dedicate to these. I'm not giving up voting, just asking for a bit of patience.

Hey buddy, how's it going? It's been a while without an update. Is life going ok? We could use your judgments, if you can find the time. :smallsmile:

[TheWombatOfDoom]

My apologies. I'll try to have those up today. It's been a little busy, but honestly it kind of slipped my mind. Thanks for the reminder.

[truemane]

My apologies. I'll try to have those up today. It's been a little busy, but honestly it kind of slipped my mind. Thanks for the reminder.

So this is almost a week ago now. Update?

[TheWombatOfDoom]

I apologize for the lateness. It's been a trying couple of weeks...



Round Two

Prompt: Extraordinary Machine (http://catch---22.deviantart.com/art/Extraordinary-Machine-520958682)

truemane


Prompt: Play with clouds (http://julie-rc.deviantart.com/art/Play-with-clouds-92740635)

The Extinguisher


Prompt: Newborn (http://losalamos.deviantart.com/art/Newborn-164252857)

Garwain


Prompt: Duel (http://dianacretu.deviantart.com/art/Duel-137396354)

TFT

[Cuthalion]

Oh, good. Someone agreed with me. :smallyuk:

[TheWombatOfDoom]

Oh, good. Someone agreed with me. :smallyuk:

I wasn't sure what you meant by that until I back read. I did like yours as well, and I'll probably later add reasons for my deliberations. For now, I just wanted to get out the judgements in a timely manner, to avoid delaying the contest any further.

Looking at the other judgements, it seems my judgements really didn't hold any sway on the contest anyway.

[Cuthalion]

I wasn't sure what you meant by that until I back read. I did like yours as well, and I'll probably later add reasons for my deliberations. For now, I just wanted to get out the judgements in a timely manner, to avoid delaying the contest any further.

Looking at the other judgements, it seems my judgements really didn't hold any sway on the contest anyway.

Ah, sorry.

I'm just quite surprised that something I threw together at the deadline beat a pretty decent poem on his end.

[Vaynor]

Congratulations to the winners of Iron Poet XXI: Round Two:

truemane
The Extinguisher
Cuthalion
PhoeKun

Now, on to the next round...

Iron Poet XXI: Round Three

PhoeKun vs. The Extinguisher: plausibly, intrude
Cuthalion vs. truemane: nigh, delude

Deadline: Thursday, May 21st 2015 at 11:59 pm (UTC -4).

[truemane]

poem poem poem

[Cuthalion]

Cuthalion vs. truemane: nigh, delude

Why didst thou come?
If not meaning to stay,
If 'twere to dwell, and love, with faith and trust

But rather, thou camest,
And jettison'd
Me, my heart, my love.

What led thee to this?
Unnatural beast
Thou had come nigh
To nearly deluding
Me, my heart, my love.

Thou play'd, thou trifl'd,
With me and all mine,
With naught a thought
To what thou hadst done.

And now
Tha'rt gone
To wreck
That pain
Again

And truly? I pity thee
Thou knowest not what
Thou had. And lost
And ne'ermore shall have.
I pity thee.

[The Extinguisher]

Oops. I forgot how time zones work I guess. My bad. Good luck to everyone else. :smalltongue:

[Cuthalion]

Do you know, as a matter of fact I think both truemane and I submitted after the deadline.

[truemane]

Do you know, as a matter of fact I think both truemane and I submitted after the deadline.

Did we? I don't think so. I'm in UTC-5, offset one hour for DST. So my time SHOULD be the same as Vaynor's time.

If we did submit after the deadline, that would make our first ever 0 entry round.

[The Extinguisher]

You guys should be fine. Both after the regular deadline, but just barely in the extension deadline.

[TheWombatOfDoom]

No, it ended on thursday at 11:59pm. They both got in before that, though it was close (11:25, 11:50).

[Cuthalion]

Ah, right. DST.

[PhoeKun]

I just plain couldn't finish mine. Burnout is a real thing and it hurts.

Oh well, one less round for the contest, I guess.

[Vaynor]

Was the UTC thing confusing? Usually the contest deadline is in EST/EDT but I thought it might be easier for people if I used the international time. Let me know if you'd prefer I just continue to put the deadline in EST/EDT.

[Szilard]

I'll try and judge this ASAP then.

[FinnLassie]

Was the UTC thing confusing? Usually the contest deadline is in EST/EDT but I thought it might be easier for people if I used the international time. Let me know if you'd prefer I just continue to put the deadline in EST/EDT.

Well, living in Europe and knowing that contestants are from a rather wide variety of countries, UTC makes a lot more sense to me.

[Vaynor]

Well, living in Europe and knowing that contestants are from a rather wide variety of countries, UTC makes a lot more sense to me.

That was my thought as well.

[Szilard]

Cuthalion vs truemane

Prompt: nigh, delude
Cuthalion

First thoughts: The dropping of the prompt words within the poem was nice. :smallwink: Fun, with kinda old and silly language, but whatever. And I liked the story.
Delving deeper: Good stuff.

truemane

first thoughts: endlessly using the prompt words is kinda direct, but makes good use here. I'm also quite a fan of the rhyming and repetition, definitely adds to the structure.
Delving deeper: This poem was pretty fun to read. I like it.

Victor

truemane

[Vaynor]

Thanks Szilard! Almost done and on to the final round. :smallsmile:

[PhoeKun]

Thanks Szilard! Almost done and on to the final round. :smallsmile:

The other end of the bracket was a no-show. This is the final round.

[Vaynor]

The other end of the bracket was a no-show. This is the final round.

Right, duh.

[TheWombatOfDoom]

Cuthalion vs truemane

Prompt: nigh, delude
Victor

truemane

[Vaynor]

Congratulations to truemane, winner of Iron Poet XXI! Here's your trophy:



___________
'._==_==_=_.'
.-\: /-.
| (|:. |) |
'-|:. |-'
\::. /
'::. .'
) (
_.' '._
`"""""""`

The new contest thread will be up momentarily.