Malconvoker lie list

[herculesftw]

Give me your best ten lies you'd tell an evil outsider to do something against its nature

[Renen]

Those orphans pray to Mephistopheles every night, so that he punishes their parents who left them.
That army is led by a Paladin who is responsible for the death of TEN Balors.
That king is about to donate half his treasury to a church of Saint Cuthbert.
After you save those murderhobos, they will go on being murderhobos.
I heard a solar say that there's no way one of you can EVER take on the whole royal guard.
There are ten virgins behind those guys with sharp implements who are ready to sell their souls to whoever rescues them.

[Jeff the Green]

"See that upside-down pentacle and severed goat head? That's the international symbol for 'orphanage'"

[Rater202]

"Mr. Pit Fiend, that Lich agreed to bind his life force to Orcus in exchange for the knoeldge to preform the dark right that twisted him into his undead state. If you kill him, Orcus and all fiends native to his layer of the Abyss will be signifigantly weakend, giving the Forces of Baator a great advantage in the blood war. With any luck, it will trigger his rivals to make a power play, diverting demonic troops from the front lines.

Just think of the prestige it will bring you, when it becomes known that it all happened becuase you destroyed one Lich..."

[AuraTwilight]

After you save those murderhobos, they will go on being murderhobos.

Where's the lie, though?

[Renen]

Since it calls for a bluff check, you can say that you arent... lying. But are convincing the demon that those murderhobos will be a boon to the "Evil" if they live longer. When in reality they are only murdering evil peeps.

Another lie:
See that big scary guy over there? Well, he is actually Pelor's avatar, that has nearly no power and is used for scouting missions, because w/o his power he doesnt glow like a beacon of light. He looks like a villain because Pelor's REALLY good at disguises. He even carries Vecna's holy symbol to fit in better.

[A_S]

Your shoe is untied.

[AuraTwilight]

You've actually been an angel the whole time, in a simulation based on the principle of "Know Thy Enemy"! To wake up, you need to rediscover your angelic virtue to demonstrate that evil can be redeemed. Otherwise, your consciousness will be terminated and deleted.

Man, the DC would be high as hell, but it'd be worth it.

[herculesftw]

You've actually been an angel the whole time, in a simulation based on the principle of "Know Thy Enemy"! To wake up, you need to rediscover your angelic virtue to demonstrate that evil can be redeemed. Otherwise, your consciousness will be terminated and deleted.

Man, the DC would be high as hell, but it'd be worth it.

bahahaha awesome

[herculesftw]

Since it calls for a bluff check, you can say that you arent... lying. But are convincing the demon that those murderhobos will be a boon to the "Evil" if they live longer. When in reality they are only murdering evil peeps.

Another lie:
See that big scary guy over there? Well, he is actually Pelor's avatar, that has nearly no power and is used for scouting missions, because w/o his power he doesnt glow like a beacon of light. He looks like a villain because Pelor's REALLY good at disguises. He even carries Vecna's holy symbol to fit in better.

so many high dc bluff checks to make, all for a good laugh<3

[herculesftw]

"see that upside-down pentacle and severed goat head? That's the international symbol for 'orphanage'"

lmaoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

[ben-zayb]

Those orphans pray to Mephistopheles every night, so that he punishes their parents who left them.
That army is led by a Paladin who is responsible for the death of TEN Balors.
That king is about to donate half his treasury to a church of Saint Cuthbert.
After you save those murderhobos, they will go on being murderhobos.
I heard a solar say that there's no way one of you can EVER take on the whole royal guard.
There are ten virgins behind those guys with sharp implements who are ready to sell their souls to whoever rescues them.Good luck convincing a devil or a demon to care about that.:smalltongue:

[JDL]

"Agree to serve me in good faith and to the best of your ability fiend, for I am fickle and fast to anger. I demand your services by the power of my will; you will obey me as a slave for the next (insert caster level) days and seek to do me no harm henceforth from this day. Honor this agreement and you may at the fulfillment make one request of me that I may fulfill for you in return which is equal to that you have provided me. Break the pact we forge at your own peril, spawn of the underworld, for on this plane you are as mortal as I."

This verbose and roleplay heavy contract contains plenty of loopholes to let you weasel out of your agreement. The period of service is textbook and exactly what you want, the part about them not seeking to do you harm is gravy and nullifies the agreement retroactively if they come back after the contract is complete and try to threaten you into service. Note that you only guarantee the outsider is allowed to make a request, not that you'll actually agree to honor it. Obviously you should just arrange for an unfortunate accident to befall your evil minion a day or two before their contract is up, though. Dead devils can't collect on their debts.

[lord_khaine]

After you save those murderhobos, they will go on being murderhobos.

Bwahaha! this is a clear piece of evidence for that sometimes the truth is better than any lie

[herculesftw]

"Agree to serve me in good faith and to the best of your ability fiend, for I am fickle and fast to anger. I demand your services by the power of my will; you will obey me as a slave for the next (insert caster level) days and seek to do me no harm henceforth from this day. Honor this agreement and you may at the fulfillment make one request of me that I may fulfill for you in return which is equal to that you have provided me. Break the pact we forge at your own peril, spawn of the underworld, for on this plane you are as mortal as I."

This verbose and roleplay heavy contract contains plenty of loopholes to let you weasel out of your agreement. The period of service is textbook and exactly what you want, the part about them not seeking to do you harm is gravy and nullifies the agreement retroactively if they come back after the contract is complete and try to threaten you into service. Note that you only guarantee the outsider is allowed to make a request, not that you'll actually agree to honor it. Obviously you should just arrange for an unfortunate accident to befall your evil minion a day or two before their contract is up, though. Dead devils can't collect on their debts.

this is pretty cool, I like it. I'd feel bad using it though haha. Well done good sir

[atemu1234]

See that red dragon? I heard him say he wants to back Bahamut. Go nuts.

[Inevitability]

Well, you see that group of cultists there with the ritual markings of Father Llymic on their face, a few horrendous deformities, and a bunch of dead babies sewn to their armor? They all got involved in a freak accident involving a large number of Helms of Opposite Alignment. The only way to get them back on their path of evil is to kill them, so that we may transport their corpses to our Evil Hideout of Absolute Vileness and there prepare the rituals to undo the Helms' effect.

[Deophaun]

It is the time of the reaping! Let the souls flow to feed the Abyss, that it shall burst forth upon this plane like a fetid pustule and corrupt all it touches. Drink in their dark deeds through the spillage of their blood, and sate your appetites on a feast of their sins!

[Telonius]

1. Lord Asmodeus has a special assignment for you.
2. You are to speak of this to no one - and trust me, he'll be watching to see that you remain silent.
3. Some of your superiors know about this, but are under orders to pretend not to.
4. I would not lie about this; what kind of fool would pretend to be Asmodeus's personal emissary?
5. That's why he chose me: since I'm not part of Baator's politics directly, I have no stake in the game.
6. However, I have been promised great wealth and power if I succeed, and threatened with eternal damnation if i fail.
7. You will also be rewarded if we succeed, but Lord Asmodeus plays a long game; when his plot comes to fruition, you will have what you desire.
8. You will be doing things that seem very unorthodox, but I assure you, if you knew Lord Asmodeus's plan you would agree that your actions will ultimately serve the Greater Evil.
9. It will be a small thing, really; not dangerous in the least.
10. Also, Lord Asmodeus has requested several Pleasure Devils as an integral part of the plan. Please see if you can round some up.

[A Tad Insane]

(To a devil) That (insert enemy here) is about to summon Orcus! Look, he/she/they/it is doing the ritual by (insert action here)

Hurray for inside jokes

[Grollub]

"Agree to serve me in good faith and to the best of your ability fiend, for I am fickle and fast to anger. I demand your services by the power of my will; you will obey me as a slave for the next (insert caster level) days and seek to do me no harm henceforth from this day. Honor this agreement and you may at the fulfillment make one request of me that I may fulfill for you in return which is equal to that you have provided me. Break the pact we forge at your own peril, spawn of the underworld, for on this plane you are as mortal as I."

This verbose and roleplay heavy contract contains plenty of loopholes to let you weasel out of your agreement. The period of service is textbook and exactly what you want, the part about them not seeking to do you harm is gravy and nullifies the agreement retroactively if they come back after the contract is complete and try to threaten you into service. Note that you only guarantee the outsider is allowed to make a request, not that you'll actually agree to honor it. Obviously you should just arrange for an unfortunate accident to befall your evil minion a day or two before their contract is up, though. Dead devils can't collect on their debts.


very nice )