Male to role play a female?

[SliceandDiceKid]

I'm a guy, considering role playing a female vengeance paladin with a whip, lance, rapier, and shield. I'm set on my build.

Any pros and cons to this? Prior experiences? Advice? I plan to make it easier by being a woman of few words.

[Alucard2099]

Gender is 100% RP. It has no effect on anything else. Completely your call

[Felvion]

If you and your group are serious roleplayers there shouldn't be a problem. From my experience... Well, my group has no such serious guys.:smallbiggrin:
I can't give any actual advice. The only thing that comes to mind is the following dialogue:
you- ehmm, guys...
them- what?
you- well, nothing!
them- are you sure? :smallconfused:
you- .... :smallmad:
them- is there a problem? :smalleek:
you- no! why would you say this? :smallyuk:
them- WTF dud.. ehm, what's going on "your name"? :smallfurious:
you- i'm fine.
them-....

Ps: Never, ever, ever have i witnessed such a dialogue myself. It's all made up, fictionary etc...:smallcool:

[SliceandDiceKid]

Gender is 100% RP. It has no effect on anything else. Completely your call

Right. I just don't know if it will get old quickly or become more of a nuisance than a component of the character.

[Ziegander]

As long as the whip isn't there for some weird dominatrix vibe, then I'd say you're fine. But if it is, then, really, rethink the character.

[Blackhawk748]

Right. I just don't know if it will get old quickly or become more of a nuisance than a component of the character.

Ive played female characters before, and honestly it changed very little. Other than one time my female Elf seduced her way into an army camp and stole some plans. Huzzah for being a Sorceress.

[kaoskonfety]

Varies with group
- I currently primarily game with story driven 30-somethings and gender? its just an RP option to get deeper into tropes, role reversal in a medieval setting and different story options
- the local game shop average age is closer to 18 and is very dungeon crawl/module driven - I would not opt to RP a female at such a table, I cannot conceive of it opening any RP doors that would not disrupt play, not that much RP happens...

[jaydubs]

I've seen several players pull off the opposite gender without issue, both male and female. Just focus on the everything else, rather than the gender.

[Dalebert]

As long as the whip isn't there for some weird dominatrix vibe, then I'd say you're fine. But if it is, then, really, rethink the character.

Wait... I just assumed. I mean, what else would it be for? :smallbiggrin:

[SliceandDiceKid]

As long as the whip isn't there for some weird dominatrix vibe, then I'd say you're fine. But if it is, then, really, rethink the character.

No. The whip was a ridiculous concept. Shield/whip mounted.

[goto124]

The whip could be a running gag. 'No I do not use it for THAT!' :smallbiggrin:

Still, if the campaign doesn't have sex or gender-related concepts, it shouldn't affects things a lot. It might help to have players (and DMs) who are mature enough to not harp on the female's sexuality.

It'll work fine for your PC to be female 'just because'. If you want to make her sex more important to her characterization or backstory, you can go that way too. Maybe her hometown didn't let girls take up combat, and she left said home to learn swordplay. Or she's a lady barbarian who acts (almost) just like her male counterparts - in this case, if she were a man, you would get a vanilla barbarian, and being an woman makes her unique (this is what I went with Axanot).

Just throwing out ideas. I've heard of male players choosing not to play female PCs because they 'weren't female enough'. It makes no sense to RL females, so hearing an explanation from a male would be nice.

[SliceandDiceKid]

The whip could be a running gag. 'No I do not use it for THAT!' :smallbiggrin:

Still, if the campaign doesn't have sex or gender-related concepts, it shouldn't affects things a lot. It might help to have players (and DMs) who are mature enough to not harp on the female's sexuality.

It'll work fine for your PC to be female 'just because'. If you want to make her sex more important to her characterization or backstory, you can go that way too. Maybe her hometown didn't let girls take up combat, and she left said home to learn swordplay. Or she's a lady barbarian who acts (almost) just like her male counterparts - in this case, if she were a man, you would get a vanilla barbarian, and being an woman makes her unique (this is what I went with Axanot).

Just throwing out ideas. I've heard of male players choosing not to play female PCs because they 'weren't female enough'. It makes no sense to RL females, so hearing an explanation from a male would be nice.

I was thinking of a backstory to this general effect:

Farmer's daughter in rural village.
Village is bullied by some mythical race (unbeknownst to the village people) working for a head honcho tyrant. No one will stand up to the punks, and one day, my character has had enough. As one of the baddies pushes my father around, I grab a pitchfork to try to defend him. The brutes effortlessly defend themselves and restrain me. They tie me to a beam in the barn after beating me within an inch of my life, break my father's legs in a permanently crippling manner, then murder our whole family in front of us and burn down our home.

Light from the heavens, bla bla

Vow to rid the world of oppression/hunt down family's murderers.

Ropes miraculously loosen, newfound strength and abilities etc etc. carry broken father to neighbors, tell him I love him and I will return when our enemies lay in ruin.

Naturally get sidetracked by helping others/slaying evildoers.

Any cool suggestions for tweaking that? Deity? I figure something CG.

[Eslin]

I don't understand the point of this question. If you're roleplaying someone from a different time and culture to you with a vastly different life full of violence that may not even be the same species why is the female aspect the important difference?

[SliceandDiceKid]

I don't understand the point of this question. If you're roleplaying someone from a different time and culture to you with a vastly different life full of violence that may not even be the same species why is the female aspect the important difference?

Sorry you don't understand the point.

[Townopolis]

That sounds kind of like a sanitized version of Red Sonja's original origin. Probably due to the context Red Sonja exists in (Conan = mighty warrior that Conan built, Sonja = might warrior by divine fiat), I never thought highly of her as a literary creation. Now, a paladin is going to have some sort of divine intervention in their backstory, regardless of sex, but highlighting some way that the paladin earned or a reason they deserve the holy supersoldier serum might be good. This actually doesn't relate to whether the paladin in question is male or female, I just think paladin characters should have something to differentiate them from a cosmic mouse cursor.

Also, bear in mind that I (a) have never actually read anything set in the Conan/Red Sonja universe, (b) am a dude, and (c) will not be playing in the campaign with you.

[goto124]

Your backstory is independant of sex. Not a bad thing.

Also, I'm not sure why divine stuff was involved. What class will your character be? What sort of attacks does she have- magic, melee, holy, some combination?

Edit: Oh should've read.

[Draken]

Your backstory is independant of sex. Not a bad thing.

Also, I'm not sure why divine stuff was involved. What class will your character be? What sort of attacks does she have- magic, melee, holy, some combination?


I'm a guy, considering role playing a female vengeance paladin with a whip, lance, rapier, and shield. I'm set on my build.

Any pros and cons to this? Prior experiences? Advice? I plan to make it easier by being a woman of few words.

Melee with a dash of holy magic.

One of the players in my group is a guy and he pretty much only plays females (not exclusively... Just overwhelmingly), it is all about being able to play the archetype properly.

[goto124]

If you want to be more feminist, change her father to her mother. Or both parents. Does the backstory demand a male parental figure due to patriachy etc?

[Lonely Tylenol]

Exercise tact.

I have had a male play a female character in my game who had real motivations, fears, and personality. It felt like a real character, fit into the campaign world, and remained memorable throughout (a campaign which lasted two and a half years). The character probably would have been memorable regardless of sex, although the character's sex did come into play a few times in the campaign.

I have also had two males play two females, in a different campaign, who were lesbian lovers. One was perpetually half-naked; the other wore cat ears (in-character) and pantomimed being a cat (again, in-character), without any indicator of this being part of the character's background or development beforehand (in fact, it didn't even happen until a few sessions in). The sex and sexuality of both characters came up frequently and in horribly inappropriate situations, usually through the players' decisions to roleplay PDAs, or "play cute" or otherwise use sex to try to get things from NPCs. Allusions to BDSM were made.

I'll give you three guesses as to which of the two your players would rather have at their table.

[rollingForInit]

Don't think about it as playing a female character. Just make up a character as usual. Figure out the background, personality, etc. Then add flavour related to gender where appropriate. Was she the firstborn daughter of her Noble father? Perhaps she went adventuring to escape being sold off as a bride? Did she come from a place where women were discriminated against? If so, perhaps she had to fight to gain respect as a warrior. Or perhaps she comes from somewhere more matriarchal where women are honoured?

The character should, first and foremost, be a character. Go with that first, then apply gender-based attributes where it applies. If gender really doesn't matter in a situation, have the character act as the person, not as the gender.

[Cyan Wisp]

Go for it.

As others have suggested, just keep away from tired cliches of hot-female-chicky-babe-warrior-ninja-catwomen. Having said that, one of my favourite characters ever was a Lawful Neutral Eberron Zilargo gnome female beguiler who worked for The Trust as a seductress/spy/interrogator.

If you are into RP a lot, it can be fun to challenge the male-dominated world of adventurers. Play up the female side of your character, but do it as a genuine woman (not a male fantasy of a woman). Decide how the woman approaches the life of an adventurer. What happens if someone does challenge your ability because of your sex? What if one makes a move on you, brimming with entitlement? How can you change the view of women in your world? By being a hero?

Brienne of Tarth (Game of Thrones) might be a good study for your character.

[goto124]

I have also had two males play two females, in a different campaign, who were lesbian lovers. One was perpetually half-naked; the other wore cat ears (in-character) and pantomimed being a cat (again, in-character), without any indicator of this being part of the character's background or development beforehand (in fact, it didn't even happen until a few sessions in). The sex and sexuality of both characters came up frequently and in horribly inappropriate situations, usually through the players' decisions to roleplay PDAs, or "play cute" or otherwise use sex to try to get things from NPCs. Allusions to BDSM were made.

I'll give you three guesses as to which of the two your players would rather have at their table.

One type is suitable only for a very specific type of campaign :P

[Jeff the Green]

Brienne of Tarth (Game of Thrones) might be a good study for your character.

This is only true if the setting is a highly sexist one (like Westeros). Faerun and Eberron, for example, are both fairly egalitarian, with no religions preaching the inferiority of one sex, no real indication of a patriarchal hegemony, and (explicitly in FR's case, apparently in Eberron's) many fewer sexual taboos. Playing Brienne in an egalitarian society runs the risk of the character becoming at best disconnected from the setting and at worst a straw feminist.

I've played various female characters, mostly in PbP though some (mostly NPCs as DM) in real life, as well as written some fiction with female narrators. I think the key to doing it successfully is the same as roleplaying a nonhuman successfully. You need to not just put yourself in the character's shoes, but specifically think of what aspects of their life are different from yours because they're a woman. For example, one character I wrote was always vaguely uncomfortable using Skype with an old friend because he hadn't quite gotten the hang of looking at the camera when talking and it always looked like he was staring at her breasts. (I was skeptical of that when I wrote it, actually, but the women of my writing group insisted I keep it.) Others I've mentioned have had to be more guarded in their interactions than I would have to be because men are generally not viewed as potential targets by rapists, and still others were perfectionists because they had to be perfect to get the same praise from teachers as the merely good male students. These are all for societies with roughly the same level of sexism as today, but even women in egalitarian societies will generally have to deal with the fact that they're smaller and weaker than many men.

It will be somewhat different as a woman who can probably beat up anyone who messes with her and is protected from roofies by her holy power, but that won't have always been the case and if there is sexism in her society she won't have been immune to the psychological impact of the misogynistic miasma.

[Cyan Wisp]

This is only true if the setting is a highly sexist one (like Westeros). Faerun and Eberron, for example, are both fairly egalitarian, with no religions preaching the inferiority of one sex, no real indication of a patriarchal hegemony, and (explicitly in FR's case, apparently in Eberron's) many fewer sexual taboos. Playing Brienne in an egalitarian society runs the risk of the character becoming at best disconnected from the setting and at worst a straw feminist.

Fair enough observation, though a setting does not a campaign make. The tone of the campaign is very much determined at the table. That table may play FR Patriarchy Edition or Eberron - Amazons of Argonnessen.

I was thinking more of how Brienne doesn't take any crap from anyone and is seriously good in her chosen field. She is resolute in her pursuit of honour, justice and knightly ways. She would be a good candidate for a paladin.

Is Brienne even a feminist, really? She is a woman who wishes to be a knight, though it's almost like she prefers to gloss over that little detail (her being a woman) in pursuit of this. Does she actually advocate for gender equality in society, though? Westeros has sexist traditions, sure, but think of how many powerful or influential women are at large there. Many.

[goto124]

RPG settings are usually gender-equal so that the players won't be 'punished' for playing whatever sex they want to play, iirc?

I wonder how things would turn out if one just wrote up a character as if male, change the Sex field to once a fortnight Female, and run with it.

[holygroundj]

I currently play a cleric/warlock female. It's ahomebrew setting, so the tempest cleric is part of a specific sect of priestesses (Seawife).

I picked a female because I thought the dynamic of a mother losing her child vs a father losing a child was an important one. While I am male and have a child, For some reason I felt my character being the mother was important. It also played into her relationship with the group: her yearning to have a family is why she's staying with this particular group of misfits.

You can't roleplay incorrectly. However, if the only reason you would chose to be female is to have intercourse with NPCs willy nilly, that's probably not a great reason to play female. However, there are differences between the sexes, and they can be pretty compelling.

But I'm more interested in the dynamic between mother and father than I am between male and female.

[SliceandDiceKid]

I currently play a cleric/warlock female. It's ahomebrew setting, so the tempest cleric is part of a specific sect of priestesses (Seawife).

I picked a female because I thought the dynamic of a mother losing her child vs a father losing a child was an important one. While I am male and have a child, For some reason I felt my character being the mother was important. It also played into her relationship with the group: her yearning to have a family is why she's staying with this particular group of misfits.

You can't roleplay incorrectly. However, if the only reason you would chose to be female is to have intercourse with NPCs willy nilly, that's probably not a great reason to play female. However, there are differences between the sexes, and they can be pretty compelling.

But I'm more interested in the dynamic between mother and father than I am between male and female.

Right. Intercourse isn't an aspect of role play that we will explore at our table.

I'm just trying to change it up.

[Yoroichi]

As long as the whip is there for some weird dominatrix vibe, then I'd say you're fine. But if it isn't, then, really, rethink the character.

[goto124]

As long as the whip is there for some weird dominatrix vibe, then I'd say you're fine. But if it isn't, then, really, rethink the character.

...wait, what... :P

[holygroundj]

Right. Intercourse isn't an aspect of role play that we will explore at our table.

I'm just trying to change it up.

Then you are going to be fine. It's definitely a way to seperate yourself from the character, and for me it causes me to pause one more step and think : how would she act?

But I've seen plenty of people who "RP" girls just to enact childish stereotypes.

[DireSickFish]

I've only ever role-played one female character. It seemed like something I should avoid but this character called for it. The game Neverwinter Nights on the Persistant World/Server Narfell.

She was a surface elf who's entire family/clan was wiped out by Drow. In front of her eyes horribly and brutally. They only left her alive because they thought she was dead already int he slaughter. They left behind a book of Lolths teaching and a holy symbol of Lolth in the wreckage. Seeing this display of violence broke her mind a bit, and she came to admire the Drows power. That the Drow way must be the best way if they can so easily destroy them.

So she starts reading the holy text and learning Drow ways via book. Suffice to say she's very imbalanced. I have her wear the holy symbol openly. She was a cleric of Lolth which was awesome. Her favorite downtime activity is to rub coal all over her body to try and look more like a Drow. She speaks lyrically at times, professed her superiority over others, and wants to kill a lot of very nice people.

My goal with her was mainly to prove you could play overt evil on this server. I got threatened with death by the druids very soon after making her but found her way in the world. I used the insanity to keep out of any sexual RP, as I was uncomfortable with it. That worked wonders. She was very good at soloing but got unlucky after she had finally gotten Fullplate, so I retierd her instead of raising her.

She was a ton of fun. I got to be in your face evil and completely off her rocker.

[Freelance GM]

It really depends on the what the players in your group are comfortable with.

I'd run it by your fellow players, instead of the anonymous voices of the internet. If they're all okay with it, then great.

[Feldarove]

I once played a female elf druid in a 3.5 game. I played her as caring, animal loving, and generally wanting to use her rewards to buy more stylish gear, jewelry, and gifts for her animals and other party members.

While that might sound like it was stereotypical, it allowed for me to play a character vastly different from characters I usually play. I tend to eventually end up being a chaotic neutral marauder who will do anything for power (more levels!!!) and more loot! Somehow, playing a female character helped me regulate those desires. I think like a poster said, you have more of a tendency to ask "what would she do...." before you react to a situation.

I see that a lot of people are jumping all over this whip and saying you shouldn't play a dominatrix, but honestly, I don't think its an issue.

Though I will say that I stopped reading the sword of truth series when it got all dominatrix and erotic. You can play your female however you want, just make sure you don't cause uncomfortable situations within the group.

A top rule for me when I DM is "No one is allowed to be sexual with another player, and I will not roleplay it out with an NPC. We can leave it to the dice".

[archaeo]

It really depends on the what the players in your group are comfortable with.


You can play your female however you want, just make sure you don't cause uncomfortable situations within the group.

This is the answer to your question, OP. Be guided by the social mores of your fellow players at the table. If you don't find those social mores to your liking, find another table.

D&D is fundamentally rooted in the wide genre of speculative fiction, a major virtue of which is the ability to use constructed worlds to explore real-world issues. The other major virtue is the genre's ability to provide unparalleled escapism. D&D can be used for either, or both (I think it probably doesn't do "neither" well).

[Knaight]

I generally wouldn't consider this an issue. I've GMed for a number of male players who sometimes play female characters, female players who sometimes play male characters, etc. Every GM I have ever known in any game have NPCs of multiple genders.

In all of that, I have seen exactly one issue, and it was when a guy who we all knew was a bit juvenile, who was a teenager at the time, decided to play a lesbian nymphomaniac with all the subtlety and grace you'd expect. Sure, I probably should have banned that, but I would actually expect most of my male players to be able to play a character who is a lesbian nymphomaniac as a complete character in a mature portrayal. Though I will say that I would have heightened skepticism at an unknown entity proposing that sort of character at this point.

Provided that you aren't playing a female character entirely for pointless juvenile antics, there's no real concern.

[broli]

the problem with most male players RP a female character, is that it "exposes" many of the believes of said male about women

this might not be bad in itself, but can turn really really bad when you take into account the people playing the characters
even on a group of mature people, i have had those WTF moments when everyone looks at everyone in silence because the player revealed some aspect of how he perceived females
the difference is that we all were mature enough to survive it as a group

jokes are inevitable. but depends on how "secure" you and your friends are if its just a joke or a uncomfortable situation.

[Person_Man]

Gender identity is totally up to the player.

But I assume that you are not a jerk, and that you will not encourage others to be jerks. Playing an opposite gender identity character does not give anyone a license to play out their ridiculous gender fantasies or potentially hurtful humor. Even if you're playing in a group where everyone is the same gender and thinks that casual bigotry is hilarious, those jokes get really old really fast, can be deeply hurtful, and have a tendency to negatively shape your thinking outside of the game. Again, I'm assuming that you and your friends are not that type of person. It's just a potential hazard to avoid.

[Shining Wrath]

Male, currently playing a female sorceress. I'm not only male, but large and deep voiced.

No problems.

Gal that sits to my left (we all have our spots, I guess we're more lawful than we want to admit) is playing a male dungeoncrasher.

No problems.

That's probably part of it - we have a gender mixed table, so anyone getting crudely sexual is probably offending someone and knows it. If the table were all men it might be different.

Which if you think about it is a little sad. Men should not require the presence of women to keep them civilized.

[Segev]

Personally, I only play female characters in text media, because I, personally, lose immersion when my own deep voice tries to speak her lines.

Other than that, I don't think there are issues with it that aren't really issues regardless of cross-playing.

[7heprofessor]

I've played many female characters over the years with varying degrees of success. If you're really getting into your character, and want to bring her to life, I've found it difficult at times to stray from stereotypical female tropes (being emotionally driven, acting as more of a care-taker, crying, etc).

Just try to keep in mind that gender has its stereotypes, but is not driven by them. Have fun exploring your own beliefs about what it means to be the opposite gender. It's actually a very enlightening experience and I recommend it to all gamers.

Happy Gaming!

[unwise]

I'm a guy, but almost all characters I play are female, not sure why, I tend towards charming sneaky types who don't look that tough and they tend to fit well.

My only piece of important advice is to choose a name that sounds good for either gender, or can be shortened as such. You don't want the people at the table to be calling you Penelope. A name like Ash or Sam, or something more fantasy related works well.

P.S. I also find it funny to be a raging andronist on some characters, or at least fairly sexist and contemptuous of men. I ascribe all the stupid things that adventurers do to being 'Pffft, men' or 'little boys showing off', while at the same time doing all the same crazy stuff myself. Oh, one other thing that can be really funny is to play a woman with really low charisma. A woman flirting like Sheldon Cooper is pretty amusing at the table, all the clumsy teenage boy tropes get taken for a weird spin.

[goto124]

I've played many female characters over the years with varying degrees of success. If you're really getting into your character, and want to bring her to life, I've found it difficult at times to stray from stereotypical female tropes (being emotionally driven, acting as more of a care-taker, crying, etc).

Just try to keep in mind that gender has its stereotypes, but is not driven by them. Have fun exploring your own beliefs about what it means to be the opposite gender. It's actually a very enlightening experience and I recommend it to all gamers.

Happy Gaming!

I really wonder how things would be like if I play a male... I mean, man. Off the top of my head it seems like it won't run into as many problems, but I could be wrong.

It'll also require trust between the players and DM, being able to give and accept constructive critism on one another's role play of genders.

Speaking of crying: I hate the sound of crying on TV. The moment I hear the sobbing, or see the tears, I want to punch that person in the face. Whether the person is male or female, though I might be angrier at the females for being 'stereotypical', and come to think of it I've yet to see a man cry on TV. Maybe I need to watch better shows whose actresses and actors can actually pull off tears that aren't cringe worthy.

[Kaeso]

That's probably part of it - we have a gender mixed table, so anyone getting crudely sexual is probably offending someone and knows it. If the table were all men it might be different.

Which if you think about it is a little sad. Men should not require the presence of women to keep them civilized.

I'm going to be controversial here, but how is that sad? It all depends on the tone of the campaign. If it's a serious campaign, you're going to be inclined to play a more serious character, but if it's a comedy campaign what prevents you from playing a whip wielding dominatrix that speaks exclusively in double entendres and Lady Gaga lyrics? Done right, it could be hilarious. IMHO how you roleplay a character, regardless of gender, all relies on a gentlemens agreement of what you can and cannot get away with.

Remember that the only goal DnD has is fun. Whether we're adults about it or a bunch of childish toddlers doesn't matter, as long as we can all agree on it and we don't spoil the fun of others.

[Shining Wrath]

I'm going to be controversial here, but how is that sad? It all depends on the tone of the campaign. If it's a serious campaign, you're going to be inclined to play a more serious character, but if it's a comedy campaign what prevents you from playing a whip wielding dominatrix that speaks exclusively in double entendres and Lady Gaga lyrics? Done right, it could be hilarious. IMHO how you roleplay a character, regardless of gender, all relies on a gentlemens agreement of what you can and cannot get away with.

Remember that the only goal DnD has is fun. Whether we're adults about it or a bunch of childish toddlers doesn't matter, as long as we can all agree on it and we don't spoil the fun of others.

Eh, let's not discuss politics. I have no trouble with a Lady Gaga quoting whip-wielding woman; one of our best characters ever was a female Bard with a whip who tripped folks left and right. Played by a man, BTW. I do have trouble with men acting like women are inferior sex toys when no women are around.

[diplomancer]

I've been thinking about a character that I think would be fun to play in D&D5e, but might also have some difficulties.

The character is a female half-elf bard. She is also a charlatan, and her alternate identity is that of a male half-elf bard. Which is the identity actually presented to the other players. My idea is to develop her into a kind of super-spy. Who will sometimes "disguise" as female :)

Women pretending to be a man is a classic trope in medieval and renaissance stories, so I'm getting my inspiration from that.

So I will be a man roleplaying a woman who pretends to be a man. Any thoughts on that?

[Zyzzyva]

So I will be a man roleplaying a woman who pretends to be a man. Any thoughts on that?

Let your inner Shakespeare bloom, dude! Bonus points if the character or her alter-ego is named Rosalind or Ganymede.

[TrollCapAmerica]

I tried playing a female character once in a game at my college. She was strong proud warrior woman in full armor who carried herself with dignity and grace. Fortunately a nearby Feminist educated me on how sexist I was being since I obviously fetishized purity for my white male culture belief on controlling sexuality and my patriarchal ideals were strangling her individuality mentality

Seriously though I probably played more female characters over the years than male ones. Not by much but I usually end up liking a character concept as a female more as I piece it together. It never really has an effect on the games because a lot of the stuff that makes a difference between genders has no mechanical impact and won't add anything RPwise most of the time

[Chronos]

I've heard a lot of men say they don't know the first thing about women, so I'll share that. Always remember that the first thing about women is that they're people. Yes, gender has some influence on personality, but it isn't everything, nor even most of it. The significant majority of the time, if you're unsure of how a member of the opposite gender would act, just ask yourself how you would act. People are people.

And for those ways in which your personality would be different as a member of the other gender, well, it'll also be different for someone of a different race, or with different ability scores, or with a different alignment. Some people prefer to play characters similar to themselves; some prefer to play characters who are very different.

[Shining Wrath]

I've heard a lot of men say they don't know the first thing about women, so I'll share that. Always remember that the first thing about women is that they're people. Yes, gender has some influence on personality, but it isn't everything, nor even most of it. The significant majority of the time, if you're unsure of how a member of the opposite gender would act, just ask yourself how you would act. People are people.

And for those ways in which your personality would be different as a member of the other gender, well, it'll also be different for someone of a different race, or with different ability scores, or with a different alignment. Some people prefer to play characters similar to themselves; some prefer to play characters who are very different.

If I can play a gnome dragonborn dragonfire adept who was male, I can play a human sorceress.

[Knaight]

If I can play a gnome dragonborn dragonfire adept who was male, I can play a human sorceress.

This is the least of it. If I can play a staunch monarchist who genuinely believes in the righteousness of medieval political organization; a populist hero who is widely adored and yet hugely removed from the common people; a warrior who's friendly, loyal, and dumb as a rock; and an extremely devout and very dangerous religious extremist - let alone the wide variety of NPCs I play - gender shouldn't be an issue. It's like the whole idea that I'd have trouble relating to a female protagonist in a book (which often comes up regarding maintaining the section of literary canon in high schools). Somehow, I think I can more easily wrap my head around the life and psyche of Scout Finch than Odysseus. Psychological gender differences are greatly exaggerated.

[mephnick]

I agree that it's not hard to play a female character. The reason I don't is because, if I'm going to react the same way regardless of gender (which I likely would), why wouldn't I just play a man? I play an elf because I want to be a stupid leaf eating elf, or a paladin because I want to crush evil with my glowing ass mace. Those choices make sense to me. Choosing to play a woman druid, when she would act 99% similar to a male druid, doesn't make much sense to me. I guess if I had a cool mini I wanted to use..

[TrollCapAmerica]

I agree that it's not hard to play a female character. The reason I don't is because, if I'm going to react the same way regardless of gender (which I likely would), why wouldn't I just play a man? I play an elf because I want to be a stupid leaf eating elf, or a paladin because I want to crush evil with my glowing ass mace. Those choices make sense to me. Choosing to play a woman druid, when she would act 99% similar to a male druid, doesn't make much sense to me. I guess if I had a cool mini I wanted to use..

I play all my Druids as Fluttershy anyway so it's a moot point

yay

[Essar]

Be sure to, when hit on by male characters or NPCs, to say, "The proper term is 'smite evil' not 'bump uglies'."

Also, if you commit a random act of violence as a good PC and the GM tries to call you on it, just say "I'm RPing, it's that time of the month..."

[Rhaegar14]

I'm gonna echo what I'm hearing a lot of other people saying -- it depends on you and your group.

The one time I attempted to play a female character was my 4e Changeling Assassin, Kathala. And it went HORRIBLY, for two reasons that had nothing to do with the character.

1) I couldn't take myself seriously when I attempted to get into character, because I couldn't identify with the dark, intimidating, and ever-changing seductress I had imagined. This had more to do with my inexperience as a roleplayer than anything else, really.
2) More importantly, this was my high school D&D group, composed entirely of 15-17 year old guys. None of us were mature enough to handle me roleplaying a female character, so nobody ELSE took me seriously when I tried to get into character, either.

If you feel this is a character you can portray competently, and you feel that you're not going to get laughed out of the room with demands of sandwiches by your group, I'd say go for it. I've seen several people play characters of different gender in my current game group, and everybody handles it just fine.

[Chronos]

Quoth mephnick:

I agree that it's not hard to play a female character. The reason I don't is because, if I'm going to react the same way regardless of gender (which I likely would), why wouldn't I just play a man? I play an elf because I want to be a stupid leaf eating elf, or a paladin because I want to crush evil with my glowing ass mace. Those choices make sense to me. Choosing to play a woman druid, when she would act 99% similar to a male druid, doesn't make much sense to me. I guess if I had a cool mini I wanted to use..
On the other hand, you can turn that around, too: Why not just play a woman? If your character would really be exactly the same way either way, heck, flip a coin. Or, of course, you could play a nonstandard gender (possible for anyone, of course, but especially easy for a warforged or changeling, if you want to go that route).

[nyjastul69]

I've heard a lot of men say they don't know the first thing about women, so I'll share that. Always remember that the first thing about women is that they're people. Yes, gender has some influence on personality, but it isn't everything, nor even most of it. The significant majority of the time, if you're unsure of how a member of the opposite gender would act, just ask yourself how you would act. People are people.

And for those ways in which your personality would be different as a member of the other gender, well, it'll also be different for someone of a different race, or with different ability scores, or with a different alignment. Some people prefer to play characters similar to themselves; some prefer to play characters who are very different.


If I can play a gnome dragonborn dragonfire adept who was male, I can play a human sorceress.


This is the least of it. If I can play a staunch monarchist who genuinely believes in the righteousness of medieval political organization; a populist hero who is widely adored and yet hugely removed from the common people; a warrior who's friendly, loyal, and dumb as a rock; and an extremely devout and very dangerous religious extremist - let alone the wide variety of NPCs I play - gender shouldn't be an issue. It's like the whole idea that I'd have trouble relating to a female protagonist in a book (which often comes up regarding maintaining the section of literary canon in high schools). Somehow, I think I can more easily wrap my head around the life and psyche of Scout Finch than Odysseus. Psychological gender differences are greatly exaggerated.

I agree with these statements. I find it far easier to wrap my head around playing a human female than I do a male elf, or dwarf, or... whatever isn't human. I actually know some human females. I've never met an elf.

[Naanomi]

I've played plenty of male characters and it all went fine, didn't even bother with a funny guy voice or anything. Never focused on my ability to pee standing up. If you want to play a female, go for it.

If people have a problem, just laugh at them next time you run into a siren, nymph, succubus, matriarchal Amazon queen, or easily seduced prince.

[nyjastul69]

...Never focused on my ability to pee standing up...

That's beautiful. Well said.

[RedMage125]

Let your inner Shakespeare bloom, dude! Bonus points if the character or her alter-ego is named Rosalind or Ganymede.

Or Cesario (real name being Viola)

[JFahy]

A very minor pro - if you play with miniatures, there are lots and lots and LOTS of females with whips. :smallconfused:

[goto124]

It never really has an effect on the games because a lot of the stuff that makes a difference between genders has no mechanical impact and won't add anything RPwise most of the time

Agreed. Has anyone (else) tried playing a character who's secretly the opposite sex? Chances are 99% of the time it doesn't change a thing. Maybe if the DM is an immature teenager, but the campaign will probably be icky even if you play a male PC.


Also, if you commit a random act of violence as a good PC and the GM tries to call you on it, just say "I'm RPing, it's that time of the month..."

Remind me to play a blood mage. Every other member of the party constantly making period jokes while the blood mage insists 'I'm a MAN!', because he's right.


A very minor pro - if you play with miniatures, there are lots and lots and LOTS of females with whips. :smallconfused:

That's why my PC has a paddle :smalltongue:

[Knaight]

Agreed. Has anyone (else) tried playing a character who's secretly the opposite sex? Chances are 99% of the time it doesn't change a thing. Maybe if the DM is an immature teenager, but the campaign will probably be icky even if you play a male PC.

Yes. The character was from a particularly sexist culture, which she abandoned in favor of the adventuring life - but by then she'd internalized the idea that pretending male was the only way she was going to get to do that life without a ridiculous amount of hassle, which was a habit continued long after getting the heck out of that area. So the initial character description emphasized several layers of loose clothing, in a style helpful in deserts (or any other area where the sun beats down unrelentingly), with a side note that the traditional beard expected from the region wasn't there. Eventually her sex was revealed when she was severely injured (I think she got impaled all the way through with a lance), and enough of the clothing had to be cut away for surgery that the facade dropped.

[Shining Wrath]

OK, I've been reminded of the one issue with playing a female PC, whether male or female player:

The absurd selection of miniatures. Or more precisely, the absurd lack of selection of miniatures.

As I believe I mentioned, I'm playing a female sorceress, and another man in my group previously played a female bard with a whip. Both of us gave up on finding a miniature even remotely close to how we visualized our characters, because neither of us was going for "boobs hanging out of shirt" sexy. So both of us bought miniatures that looked like something from a Heavy Metal cover back in the day - because that's pretty much what your selection looks like if you search for "sorceress" or "female with whip" - and then painted them so that their blouses / armor had actual necks and sleeves.

http://2.media.dorkly.cvcdn.com/57/68/449a24f4488de31e54e2f80fc61d7843.jpg

[Zyzzyva]

Or Cesario (real name being Viola)

Oh, sure, definitely. But I like As You Like It the most, just because "Ganymede" "pretends" to be Rosalind, just for an extra layer of genderbending.

As for the miniatures: at the scale standard for D&D, you could probably get away with "this warrior's a woman, m'kay?" for a lot of the classes. It's not like boobplate's a real thing, after all.

[Shining Wrath]

Oh, sure, definitely. But I like <i>As You Like It</i> the most, just because "Ganymede" "pretends" to be Rosalind, just for an extra layer of genderbending.

As for the miniatures: at the scale standard for D&D, you could probably get away with "this warrior's a woman, m'kay?" for a lot of the classes. It's not like boobplate's a real thing, after all.

For bards and sorceresses, "plate" is not a thing, with or without boobs.

[Zyzzyva]

For bards and sorceresses, "plate" is not a thing, with or without boobs.

Well, yeah. That's why I mentally backed down from "most" to "a lot". :smalleek: It's certainly possible in some cases, is my point.

[Shining Wrath]

Well, yeah. That's why I mentally backed down from "most" to "a lot". :smalleek: It's certainly possible in some cases, is my point.

Fair enough, but my point still holds: if you can tell a character is female, their attire is likely immodest.

[Naanomi]

I like some of the Sister of Sigmar mordheim series miniatures for being female but not seductive

[Zyzzyva]

Fair enough, but my point still holds: if you can tell a character is female, their attire is likely immodest.

...I think we're furiously agreeing with each other here. So, yes. :smallsmile:

[TrollCapAmerica]

Agreed. Has anyone (else) tried playing a character who's secretly the opposite sex? Chances are 99% of the time it doesn't change a thing. Maybe if the DM is an immature teenager, but the campaign will probably be icky even if you play a male PC.:

I once played a feminine Samurai who got framed for murder and became very adept at disguise. Probably a little to adept...

"Dang it boy at least act like your unhappy to be on the run"

"But that would ruin my disguise OnI-chan" :smile:

[Segev]

While I don't cross-play often, I have played at least one character each who was a woman pretending to be a man, and a boy pretending to be a girl. The latter was hiding from a cult that wanted him to be their messiah, and he was young enough that changing clothes and growing out his hair was sufficient to pull off the disguise. The former was an engineer on an airship who just didn't care. She technically wasn't faking, but she dressed in men's clothes and was boyishly figured, so everybody assumed, and she didn't care enough to correct.


As to "why play X gender..."

My default is male, because that's what I am and thus if I have no reason to go either way, I don't see a reason to throw cross-playing on top of any other things I'd have to keep in mind playing the character.

If the sex of the character is in any way a plot point (e.g. the two above), obviously that dictates the character's sex.

If romance is in some way important to the character as I envision it, the nature of the romantic relationships will often influence my choice.

Stereotypes are also relevant: the seductive enchantress is a different archetype than the mind-controlling sorcerer, even if the sorcerer uses good lucks and sex appeal to get his way as much as magic.

Violating stereotypes can also come up. If I want a slightly jarring "witch in the woods," it'll turn out to be a middle-aged man who is called such because nobody has ever SEEN the witch, and just assumes... ...though violating stereotypes, for me, comes up more often in NPCs than PCs. It tends to work best, in my experience, with characters who are not meant to be part of the main ensemble. ANd if the stereotype violation is enough to dictate a gender for the character, then it's enough of a central part of the character that it's probably not that fleshed-out as an interesting individual. Not sufficeintly to "star" in the story.

But if I'm playing a girl, it's going to be due to wanting to explore something that requires a female character, whether it's a stereotype, an expectation, a subversion of either, or the like. Because guys are my default. That said, I have played characters that wouldn't have worked as girls, and I've played some that could have been either.

[grub]

I made my character female because the store I was at had no minis for what I envisioned the character to look like.
I found a female mini that had the right look and weapon. It also gave me a better reason to have the item that I did.

So far it hasn't changed how I play her, nor do I expect it too. I may play a bit more empathetic, but I probably would have anyways.

[AugustNights]

One, You cannot tell a person's gender by looking at them.
Two, if you can pretend to be an extra-planar descendant with horns and a tail that has made a dark pact with an ancient dead god for the ability to strike out at flying fire-lizards using thermodynamic ignoring spells... I think that playing a gender that isn't your own will be the smallest leap of imagination.

[Segev]

I would argue that you CAN tell a person's gender by looking at them to a given degree of confidence. You can make mistakes, but most people will be right most of the time with most visual inspections.

You could construct deliberately misleading samples which generate a lot of uncertainty or false identifications, but by and large, it is something humans are good at deducing by visual inspection.

[AugustNights]

You are right. You can argue all kinds of transmisogynistic things. I wouldn't recommend it, but you're welcome to your narrow world view.

[TrollCapAmerica]

You are right. You can argue all kinds of transmisogynistic things. I wouldn't recommend it, but you're welcome to your narrow world view.


http://en.1jux.net/scale_images/266182_b.jpg

[Haruki-kun]

The Winged Mod: Locked for Review.