Lets Watch: Pokemon

[Lord Raziere]

Why hello, my friends. this was how I celebrated the New Year. (and soon took the form of this Lets Watch)

How might you ask?

Well, I'm 21 now. and I thought it be good to take a look back for once. I am an anime-loving sci-fi fantasy loving nerd, and I've had many influences over the years. Watchmen, Code Geass, TTGL, Kill La Kill, The World Ends With You, The Dresden Files, Fairy Tail, Dragonball Z, and many many other such awesome things like those. worlds of great heroes and greater challenges and darkness to confront. worlds where heroes stand resolutely and brightly against darkness all around them. But where did it all start? Where did my love for anime and high action and all this come from? Where did it all start?

I confess, the answer is surprisingly ordinary and pedestrian, but I was young, and did we not all do foolish things in our youth? It started with me seeing the first episode of Pokemon. and to this day, I still sort of like it. I long ago stopped watching the anime (its still on, I mean gods above, sixteen years or so and Ash is still TEN. I'm pretty much convinced that at this point, Pokemon will never die. its probably going to end up like Star Wars, Star Trek or something and just keep going forever with the fanbase sustaining it even if the show ends. I mean sixteen years, that means staying power)
but I do still play the games from time to time because it has strategy elements to it, that and how is controlling a bunch of cool monsters to go around beating up other cool monsters not awesome?

so how will I celebrate this new year? by going back to something old. I will watch the First Episode of Pokemon once again, to see how it holds up. let us see how this stupidly long anime started, and whether or not it still has that charm. Let us journey back in time....

BEFORE THE DARKNESS...

BEFORE THE INNOCENCE OF YOUTH DIED...

IT WAS A TIME OF COMING WONDER.

IT WAS A TIME OF WONDER THAT WOULD NEVER COME AGAIN.

IT WAS A TIME.....OF POKEMON.

The Beginners Quad-logy thingy.

Pokemon, Episode 1: Ash Is a Loser:

aaaaand that stupid song STILL has that catchy magical tune to it. still likable, argh.

wow. I actually like how they started it out with the videogame opening of the original games, then suddenly it morphs into the anime. weird.

and Ash introduces himself all dramatically then....AHAHAHAHAHAHA "Ash get to bed!" like, right off it shows Pokemon's brand of humor, and thus lets everyone know that it doesn't take itself too seriously. like, knowing Ash now, I can totally picture him striking that pose every time he goes to bed or something.

and of course, he wakes up late, worried that he will miss it- which he does. while still in his pajamas. yeah. Ash is kind of a loser in the first episodes.

and here is Gary Mother****ing Oak, first out of the gate and already rubbing his awesome in Ash's face. Yeah. Gary is kind of a ****. but he is an awesome egotistical ****, like Vegeta. guy has freaking CHEERLEADERS and a CAR and he hasn't even started his journey yet. his existence is to basically to eternally make Ash angry that he can't catch up. and we love him for it. and I never got to know WHAT exactly was Gary's starter anyways. hm.

and there is Ash's luck: all three starters are gone, so he is stuck with.....drumroll....

The mascot that will become an icon of the series unto itself, the badass that will go on to do so many feats of awesome, the adorable mouse that has more electrical power than any storm.....

....PIKACHU! (gesundheit)

....and we see the "problem" right away: Pikachu apparently doesn't like being touched like that, and shocks Ash right away. a rocky relationship to be sure. Its just Ash's luck really: he is late, so he gets a pokemon that Oak just happened to have on hand and has some....how to say it....social problems.

next on the list of Ash's loserness: the crowd that greets him is smaller, includes his mom and has less cool music. really, he should be thankful he gets a crowd at all- not to mention, he is shocked and still in his pajamas.

ahahahahaha! and of course, Ash's pikachu doesn't like the pokeball and so plays "catch" with it.

and then shocks the crowd when called "weird". yeah. Pikachu is a touchy little jerk in the first episodes.

and of course, Ash fails at trying to capture pokemon while Pikachu laughs at his attempts because he is a jerk. I think sequence is mostly to showcase how you need pokemon to battle other pokemon in order to catch them, by showing how even the gentlest beginner pokemon is not possible to just go up and capture.

the pokedex seems more snarky than I remember it being. guess it was used for laughs more often in the early days.

wait, wild pokemon are JEALOUS of human trained pokemon!? thats a tidbit everyone seems to have forgot. there are so many pokemon fans that go "well isn't it like cockfighting" but you have the first episode outright saying that wild pokemon are JEALOUS of trainer pokemon. probably because they get better food, pokemon center healing, a human to care for them...yeah, I can see that.

hello Misty! your first appearance was you fishing eh? I would trust getting much bites from that. your still beginning, which means you probably have an old rod, you don't get anything but magikarp from that. and while magikarp can evolve into one of the most awesome pokemon ever, its still a goddamn Magikarp and you have to be dedicated to make evolving it worth your while. also, hope you don't like that bike all that much because, girl, it ain't living long...

and the infamous part where he promises to give the bike back....and will never fulfill it.

and of course, the storm howls, rains falls, Pikachu is injured, and things are just going bad, bad, bad for Ash. really bad way to start your journey, almost as if it will end before it truly begins, Ash stands up to save Pikachu's life to shield him from further attack.....then Pikachu jumps in and unleashes and electric attack to take ALL the spearows out in one blow.

and then they wake up, Ho-oh flies across the sky over a rainbow, the pokedex saying that its not even identified yet, and Ash picks up pikachu and walks towards the city, Pikachu giving a small smile and lick to Ash's face, while the closing narration begins....

and I actually kind of still like this. it still holds up. sure, its a little cheesy in places. but it really reminds me of the heart of the series: that of bonds of loyalty and friendship enough to lay down lives for one another. sure, Pokemon is probably not the best series ever, but it knows when to be funny, knows when to not take itself all that seriously, but know when to turn the danger on, when to be dramatic and when to hint at more to come. there is little wonder how it became such a long running franchise. and of course, it knows to make the protagonist relatable and kept being given hard luck, as well as a good foil for him to rail against. all in all, I can see where I came from is a good place, sure, there might've been other things that might've been before it, but pokemon is what I remember, pokemon is what stayed with me.

Happy New Year Everyone, Gotta Catch 'em All!

Episode 2: Wreckages of Viridian City
Why hello, the first appearance of (the useless) Officer Jenny! saying that there are pokemon thieves about. hm. I think this is also the first episode Team Rocket appears as well.

as per his loser status, Ash immediately gets mistaken for a pokemon thief because Pikachu doesn’t like its pokeball. how common must pokeballs be in this world to even be seen carrying a pokemon like that be noted as unusual?

and yes the wanted poster shows the two incompetents right there. and really, Jenny, the kid is ten and has no idea what he is doing and your asking for ID? but of course, the Pokedex is made of convenience so its off to the pokemon center it is!

and of course, Misty is running right behind with her burnt out bike. just drop the thing, it won’t get repaired until Johto. as in years from now.

wait, they’re searching for pokemon thieves but no one notices a big freaking MEOWTH BALLOON IN THE SKY!? well…..pokemon characters have never been known for their high spot scores….

ah of course, this is back when we were pretending these three were competent and dramatic. I’m pretty sure they don’t last as serious villains even in the Indigo League. Why I bet they will become jokes like by episode ten or so. fifteen at most.

ahahaha, Nurse Joy’s reaction to Jenny doing this “we have a drive way y’know.” as if Jenny just does this routinely or something, probably because her job is boring:
Joy: like really? you always do this.
Jenny: What? I’m stuck in Viridian City, nothing interesting happens here. cut me some slack.

and yes the first appearance of Nurse Joy and Jenny. some fans have wondered why these two are so the same across so many regions with so many sisters looking exactly alike. They have concocted various theories why, including ones saying that they themselves are some kind of pokemon. I have a simpler explanation: the animators, knowing that this franchise would be perpetuated into infinity, decided to be lazy with these two and just constantly copy-paste them while their voice actors get a steady job for years. thus saving money and the trouble of hiring new people for what is basically the same role.

and I like that the second episode is basically Ash being told off by Jenny and Joy for not being responsible with his pokemon while he waits for Pikachu to be healed. it once gain shows that pokemon can be serious, as its treating pikachu’s injuries as something that Ash needs to prevent and that it has consequences if he doesn’t. these first few episodes in whole is a rocky start for Ash, it proves that this world isn’t just a happy place where strange animals fight for no reason, its world where battles have consequences and people can make mistakes.

wait father!? Mrs. Ketchum just mentioned Ash’s father. did we EVER get shown Ash’s father? I mean, I don’t remember him ever being a thing even during Battle Frontier- the latest I’ve watched of it, I’m not all caught up- but still, Ash’s father…I don’t remember in all these episodes, Ash’s father EVER being shown. its one of the biggest mysteries of pokemon: why are all the Joys the same? Why the Wobbuffet? Who is Ash’s Father? we will never know the answer to these questions.

ooh! another foreshadowing thing! this tablet um: I think those are Moltres, Articuno, Zapdos, and I think the yellow dog is one…..is kind of odd. It could be an Entei or a Raikou, but those don’t get created or whatever until Johto. Its most probably an Arcanine, but Arcanine’s aren’t a legendary pokemon, so why would people put an Arcanine on a tablet right next to three legendary birds? does the ancient culture those tablets from just really like Arcanine’s for some cultural reason? hm. Arcanine’s are fire type, I think they’re big enough ride on and they are dogs so they have good sense of smell are loyal. Meaning an Arcanine is man’s best friend, a tracker, a mount, and a campfire maker all in one. no wonder people would revere them, Arcanine’s are more useful than any real world animal.

thats not Ho-oh Ash, thats Articuno.

uuuuh, Ash? I don’t your supposed to pick up Nurse Joy’s phone calls…thankfully its just Oak…

and apparently trainers have searched their whole lives for Ho-oh and never seen it, but Ash just sees Ho-oh at the start of the journey. Did we ever get any elaboration on the meaning of this? I feel like this was supposed to be important, but I don’t think this was followed up on, at least as far as I know.

aaaaaand the Wrath of Misty comes to the fore! she wants a new bike dammit!

“I’ll make up for it. Promise I will” <— Never happens.

oh, NOW they detect the hot air balloon, apparently they need sophisticated equipment to do this, yet same said balloon flies right over a police station and no one spots it. hey, here is a detection system for you: EYES! generally they’re good at spotting hot air balloons that are y’know, freaking MEOWTHS.

and here’s the first saying of the Team Rocket Motto, say it with me folks:

To protect the world from devastation
To unite all people within our nation
To denounce the evils of truth and love
To extend our reach to the stars above.
Jessie!
James!
Team Rocket, blasting off at the speed of light
Surrender now or prepare to fight!
Meowth, thats, right.

Wait, they keep pikachu on standby in case of power outages? useful but…I’m concerned, are they fed well? cared for? I mean I assume so, considering its a pokemon center…but the way they just show up in a generator just…I don’t know, can be taken the wrong way?

Misty….you ARE pathetic. I mean really. GOLDEEN? that pokemons like, only two steps removed from a magikarp. but I do like how originally that Team Rocket is completely uninterested in pikachu because there honestly are rarer pokemon than it. problem is, they’re attacking Viridian City, where all the beginning trainers go after Route 1. they’re getting nothing but Pidgeys and Rattattas. Pikachu probably is the most valuable pokemon there. also: isn’t Giovanni’s gym in Viridian? would he be kind of angry that they’re carrying out incompetent operations in his own city? just saying.

and then Pikachu wakes up, and then suddenly: PIKAHORDE! and shocks team rocket like nothing. kay.

aaaand Ash destroys a freaking POKEMON CENTER in the second episode. So thats like what, a bike, a pokemon center? Ash and his pikachu are really destructive in their heroics, at least starting out. shouldn’t he be paying for that or something?

oh right. Misty is afraid of bugs “even if its a pokemon”. also this implies that normal animals exist in this world. yet they are also never shown…

Will Ash capture the Caterpie? Yes
What Sinister plans are being made by Team Rocket? Try to capture Pikachu endlessly and never learn their lesson
Will Misty get a new bike? NEVEEEEEEERRRRRRRRR!!!!

also I realize the screen minimizing at the end of each episode with the little “ I> To Be Continued” is referencing the video game roots of it all, just like the opening, a specific button on the Gameboy.

Episode 3: Caterpie is Badass
According to the opening credits, Arcanine IS big enough to ride upon, huh, I was right.

and of course, Ash succeeds effortlessly in catching….one of the weakest pokemon known to man, but hey, its his first time. let him celebrate his small victories, he is still a loser like that. so weak, he didn’t even need to battle it.

“I Guess it takes a worm to love a worm”- truer words have never been spoken, Misty.

you made the cute little caterpie SAD Misty. shame on you.

ah yes, poor pikachu, having to deal with the crazy humans around him…

heh. a cute little moment where pikachu and caterpie have a conversation. don’t know about what, but they seem to be enjoying themselves. I wonder if what their conversation really is:
Caterpie: when I grow up I’m gonna have THIS many mates to screw!
Pikachu: well I’m going to have an entire HAREM of female pikachus!
Caterpie: well I’m going to have as many Butterfree mates as there are stars in the sky!
Pikachu: well I’m going to mate with more than that, I’m going to be the harem master of all pokemon, just you watch!
….guess some things are better left unsaid.

you made the caterpie sad AGAIN Misty. Shame on yoooouuuu.

ahahahaha, and Ash wiggles in his sleeping bag after caterpie. really is a worm….

AHA! look, look, the Pidgeotto was eating a little worm! squirming! right there! normal animals DO exist in this universe! clear as day, third episode! and Ash is real lucky to encounter an evolved form pokemon so early.

Ash’s mistakes:
Mistake One: throwing the pokeball BEFORE a battle.

Mistake Two: sending a Bug type to fight a Flying type. (both Pikachu AND Misty are gasping and this know this better than him, just goes to show how much Ash is a loser…)

heheh, this is why Pokemon stands out above all those shonen shows: strategy is needed for this battling. muscle heads don’t win.

and out of nowhere….TEAM ROCKET!

ha! Ash is already like “aw, not this again” and “dude we’re kinda busy here” and its only the THIRD EPISODE. Team Rocket’s already rapidly approaching joke status.

according to Team Rocket, Pikachu is incredibly powerful for its kind. hm. maybe it got infected by Pokerus early on?

poor Pidgeotto, first two battles and it loses….

…just so that Caterpie can kick ass. with STRING SHOT of all things. that move doesn’t even deal damage!

bah, everyone knows your weak Meowth, don’t try to deny it.

aaaand Caterpie evolves into Metapod! figures, after battling three pokemon in a row… must’ve already been level 7 or something…

Episode 4: Metapod Measuring Contest
good choice with the flying type this time, Ash.

who let the crazy bug maniac loose with a freaking KATANA of all things!? does that kids parents know he has that?

forget it Ash, you’ll never have that Weedle. your stuck with your Metapod because variety.

tch. if this was the games, Ash would pretty much win effortlessly against that stupid bug samurai with that Pidgeotto. the tired thing is just the plot saying “lol no”

and he withdraws the pincer to send out…..another metapod.

and so the harden cold war begins:
BS: Harden!
Ash: Harden!
BS: Harden!
Ash: Harden!
(hours pass)
BS: Harden!
Ash:Harden!
Misty: just whip them out of your pants and compare them already!

“boys can be so stubborn”- especially when they feel the need to prove their little Metapod is the hardest.

bug samurai just gave up. Ash wins. hey, just because a swarm of Beedrill are coming doesn’t mean you didn’t forfeit. just means your the first to chicken out.

oh that is such bull, the Kakuna just evolving right then and there just because Ash said something out loud. either Kakuna evolve at the drop of a hat, or Ash being the loser he is has the worst luck in the universe.

WHAT! bug samurai, YOUR THE REASON THAT THE WEEDLE GOT AWAY IN THE FIRST PLACE! BECAUSE YOU DISTRACTED ASH, THE WEEDLE GOT AWAY, THE METAPOD GOT TAKEN, AND THEN YOU GO BLAME HIM FOR IT!? SCREW YOU MAN! And I don’t see you being any less afraid of an entire swarm of beedrill coming at you…

other trainers from Pallet would never have been responsible….again, your the guy who caused all this bug samurai so screw you, but really, did we ever find out who the other two trainers from Pallet Town are? you’d think an anime as long as Pokemon that details like these would be used more, but Pokemon is full of little mysteries that never get solved like this.

but of course, all this is just to prove how much a loser Ash is. a truth that will be remain an irrefutable fact which I am stating for the record and is no way an insult. I like Ash, he is a good guy. its just that regardless of how I feel about him, he is a loser. its just an unchanging fact of his existence, at least at this early stage of his career.

hm. I think Team Rocket might already be jokes. Ash tries to stop the Team Rocket motto even though its perfectly sensible to do so…

SEE!? even Ash knows its Samurai’s fault.

no! it was Samurai’s fault Ash. he distracted you and caused this whole mess in the first place. don’t beat yourself up over the supposed expert not letting you know about VITAL INFO ABOUT THIS FOREST. I bet the guy is just some kid from Viridian who put on that armor a week ago and took his father’s bug pokemon just so he could go out into the woods and speak in a samurai accent.

but hey! at least Metapod evolves into Butterfree because of your speech. now you have two evolved pokemon. too bad all your pokemon are bad against rock types.

no screw you samurai. I didn’t see you doing anything to solve this. your just a kid playing pretend, go home!

“compared to you, I am the novice”- UNDERSTATEMENT. your probably the only one here that sucks more than Ash at anything. also: I’m calling it now, this samurai guy? we will never see him again. and good riddance!

and Episode 4: first time Team Rocket is left at the end suffering some bad fate while they bicker. Yup. Episode 4 is officially the episode at which they are nothing but a joke. that was fast.

this would’ve been a better episode if y’know. Ash was actually responsible for anything that happened. but he wasn’t so, the entire message is stupid.

[Shekinah]

This'll be fun. I haven't watched Pokemon in forever. I stopped when the Johto series started and got more interested in the games.

[Traab]

I think I stopped seriously watching after the orange league, iirc, thats the league where you get enough badges and you get to challenge the champ who has a dragonite? Something like that anyways. After that I watched a bit of some of the other series. I actually liked it when he decided to literally start over, just him and pikachu, and go to a new league entirely. I mean yeah, its the only way it makes sense other than to make it so the leagues are set as ladders, you must do this well to enter the next league, etc. But then he gets to have a wonderful callback of fighting a rock type gym leader with a pikachu.

[Lord Raziere]

yea see, the thing about pokemon? I'm pretty sure it has a plotline, but its one that goes in very wide loop-de-loops. like things will change, but eventually you will loop back around to someplace that was similar to somewhere you've been before but somehow progressed this time around.

and I'm actually on episode 25 of the Orange Islands AND finished the second movie, so I basically have to catch you guys up to where I am. after I finish Orange Islands well, Pokemon is a long anime and I don't want to get burnt out, so I might have to take it a little slow after that, but I'm also planning not to leave Kanto JUST YET. Before Johto, I'm planning on watching something called Pokemon Origins, which from what I've gathered is something thats supposed to be more faithful to the original videogame with some trainer called Red, and I'm curious how Pokemon handles a main protagonist that isn't Ash Ketchum.

but for now:

The Weak Gym Leaders Trilogy
Wherein two Gym Leaders abandon their lucrative jobs to hold the hands of a ten year old rookie trainer, Ash gets his first two badges out of pity, and a UFO seeker becomes a hobo living in a cave.

Episode 5: Brock, Ash’s Nonspecific Ethnicity Friend (Totally Not Mexican)

We open on Episode 5 with Team Rocket falling into their own pit trap because they were too good at setting it. If Episode 4 wasn’t the point they became a joke, the opening of episode 5 seals the deal.

and a bunch of hullaballoo about how Ash won’t win against Brock and blah blah blah. and no one tells him why: ALL HIS POKEMON ARE TYPE DISADVANTAGED AGAINST ROCK TYPES! Electric? immune. Flying? resistant. Bug? dude, rocks squad bugs, Bugs are weak to rock. of course whatever trainer got the Charmander isn’t in a much better position. thats why you choose grass or water as your starter: the first gym is rock most of the time: Pewter? Rock. Rustboro? Rock. Oreburgh? Rock. Sure Johto has flying instead, and Unovah has its weird starter-three type gym that no one else ever uses because that would be too original, and I don’t know about Kalos, but its a good bet that the first Gym will always traditionally be Rock.

ha! Misty leaves him with the check. Ash is again, a loser.

and thus we have the appearance of….BROCK! FIRST GYM LEADER OF THE KANTO REGION! FIRST GYM LEADER EVER APPEARED! how does his first appearance compare to the rest of the series I wonder?

Brock is real curt. guess thats the point. and he sends out his Onix…

…hey I just thought of something real funny, what if Brock was bisexual?
Brock: hey Ash….wanna see my Onix? its real hard and tall
Ash: but I already see it, you’ve sent it out already.
Brock: also it has a nice couple of Geodudes to accompany it.
Ash: what? I don’t see any Geodudes here.
Brock: though I guess you could say they are more like….Gravelers
Ash: what you have Gravelers? I thought you said they were Geodudes.
Brock: what do you say Ash, want to make my Onix evolve into a Steelix with me?
Ash: What are you talking about, I thought this pokemon battle only involved two pokemon each!

aaaand no surprise, Ash loses. because Rock types are immune to Electric. gotta study up on that.

Ash, forget it. you can’t beat rock types by “supercharging” the pikachu. its just….immune kay? but of course….plot powers ahoy….

eh, cheesy ten brothers and sisters thing….which reminds me. Brocks ethnicity. squinty eyes, big family, brown skin…but not specific about what his ethnicity is. probably mexican, or whatever equivalent the pokeverse has. guy is doing really well if he is running a Gym though. the Gym leader job must pay a lot…

AHAHAHAHAHAHA, the father is like “now I know you must have a lot of issues-“
and Brocks just like:
“nah, just a crash course on taking care of the family. who needs talking it out, when I can get my revenge by MAKING YOU DO ALL THE STUFF I HAD TO GO THROUGH WHILE YOU WERE GONE!? RESPONSIBILITY: ITS ALL YOURS NOW, ENJOY TEN CHILDREN HELL DAD! AAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA…..”

oh Misty, still thinking your ever going to get a new bike from Ash. thats….hm, four episodes you still remember that? wonder how long until you stop mentioning it.

heheheheh, I like how the narration specified Brock as a friend and ally and not Misty.

sidetone: does anyone else find it weird that Ash basically has the first two Gym leaders of Kanto following him around for Kanto and Johto? and Brock following him around for, what, Hoenn and Sinnoh as well? I mean, Misty may have her sisters and Brock has Flint to take care of things, but still, isn’t being Gym leader kind of a specific job your supposed to do? whatever. it just proves that Ash, likable loser that he is, needs two Gym leaders to hold his hand at the beginning.


Episode 6: A Raving Lunatic Finds Religion

and of course, to Mount Moon already. this will be the first episode where the “trio” dynamic will actually be in play for the first time for Ash’s team, I wonder: did they ever change from their dynamics? was it always the same? lets see.

lets see…..Misty says something stereotypically girly, Brock says something more knowledgeable, then suddenly POKEMON TROUBLE! hm, sounds familiar but I’ll have to wait and see if this is really the dynamic they develop later on.

overly dramatic scientist is overly dramatic. seriously dude, I bet you were just pestering them too much or something and they decided to try and drive you off because you were being too nosey, but was too stupid to run for some reason.

um dude? this is not hard to solve. JUST TAKE DOWN THE FREAKING LIGHTS ALREADY AND USE A FLASHLIGHT!

yes Ash, just smile and nod at the crazy raving person. (seriously, this scientist sounds like a crazy conspiracy theorist, only nicer)

“don’t you get tired of saying the same thing over and over again?”-oh Ash, you have no idea. unfortunately for you, time in pokemon is cyclical. its just a very tight cycle of only a few months enough to travel around an entire region, earn Eight badges, lose at a pokemon league then it all goes back to the beginning with you getting rid of your current party aside from Pikachu then going to another region to start the whole thing over again, while still being 10. you’ll be hearing and saying the same lines for all eternity.

Brock: again, this is not a hard problem to solve, the lights just need to be y’know…torn down. I think you can just use your hands.

and Misty get shoved aside to look on the sidelines again. because she apparently has nothing but a Goldeen and is therefore pathetic despite her, y’know, GYM LEADER status.

da-wha!? Brock just retro-actively captured a zubat for some reason? well thats kind of disappointing for Zubat’s intro, doesn’t even get a flashback. OH WELL!

and this is the first time Team Rocket’s “blasted off” but the iconic “Team Rocket’s Blasting off again!” hasn’t come yet.

oh right, she has a Staryu to. but the Staryu even in this episode seems to be doing fine y’know, FLOATING IN MIDAIR. where was Staryu back in Episode 2? or does water just emit some weird radiation that makes water types useful, cause I’m pretty sure they drop the water dependency in later episodes.

“Pikachu makes friends so easily, I wonder what he is talking about?”
Pikachu: so hey, how many chicks you pick up with that Moonstone?
Clefairy: TONS BRO! Chicks dig jewelry.
Pikachu: cool, can I have one?
Clefairy: no. I’m not feeding your harem obsession.
…..some things are better left unknown

I think the Clefairy is saying:
Clefairy: greetings humans and other pokemon you have saved us, we will now allow you to witness our sacred orgy mating ritual as a reward, feel honored that we allow to witness this, for it is the most beautiful thing in this world.thus we begin by dancing around this rock as foreplay before the true mating begins…

ah so it is a RELIGIOUS mating ritual. that explains a lot.

raving lunatic (BA-DUM-TSH) thinks this is the key to finally going into space. of course.

aw yeah! Onix gets to be awesome, bursting out of the ground and stopping their plans! and be honest, he kinda needs it after losing to an ELECTRIC type last episode. thats probably something that will hang over Onix for life, haunting his days with shame. I can just imagine all the other Onix’s being all like “dude, you lost to an electric type. your no true Onix.”

ah, Metronome, when you need a move that no one can predict, use Metronome.

and the first time the immortal line is spoken: “Team rocket is blasting off again” and they go into the sky with a twinkle like a character in super-smash bros. only not really as smoothly done. needs work to fit what I remember of it.

eh, I like the look of Clefairy more then Clefable. the problem with cute pokemon is that their evolved forms are never quite as cute as the original. Don’t let your cute pokemon lose their cuteness with maturity, preserve their cuteness! use Everstones.

so….your going to live in a cave….with a bunch of small alien fairies….yyuup sounds about right for raving lunatic. enjoy being a glorified hobo/caveman/whatever with your crazy outer space ascension religion.

“Gary Was Here! Ash is a Loser!”- TRUER WORDS HAVE NEVER BEEN SPOKEN! Thank you Gary Oak you magnificent ****!

next up: Cerulean City.

Episode 7: Misty, The Most Pathetic Gym Leader Ever

and of course, Misty tries to stop them from getting to Cerulean because she left the Gym for some reason. Misty really is pathetic in these early episodes when you think about it. she is supposed to be a competent Gym leader, but she left the Gym, is afraid of Bug pokemon, can’t even fight off Team rocket without any water, leaves all the real ass-kicking to Ash and Brock…yeah, its kind of a wonder how she is supposed to be a Gym leader when a starting trainer has been looking better than her so far.

“ah, we’ll never figure out girls”-Truer than you know, Ash, Truer than you know. I mean, your dense as a rock when it comes to romance, while Brock is as subtle as a boulder in trying to find it, between the two of you, you have no chance of figuring out even Misty.

WOW, do all Jenny’s automatically mistake the first people that come up to them for criminals? I’m starting to question how competent they actually are. would explain a lot about this world: Team Rocket gets so easily and is so prevalent, because all the Jennies are crazy paranoid people who are bad at their job, which is why all the real crimefighting falls to the trainers…

aaaaand the first signs of Brock’s sexuality! turned down instantly! poor Brock, your attempts at picking up girls will only end in failure. forever.

where was this wisdom when you were trying to beat BROCK Ash? or did you learn something and are pretending you always knew just to impress Brock hm?

“I have some stuff I need to check up on.”-Brock
“What stuff?”-Ash
“just…stuff” yeah. I’m going to assume that Brock is going to the red light district to pay prostitutes until proven otherwise. this whole exchange just sounds like an older brother waving away a younger kid’s curiosity.

“but I thought this was the Pokemon Gym…”-ok, there is no excuse for this, this is just Ash being an idiot. its a water gym, why wouldn’t the Gym leader y’know….SWIM!?

see!? look at the NORMAL fish here! normal animals exist in pokeverse! if there wasn’t, there’d by nothing but magikarp!

and of course, Goldeen being just two steps away from being useless as a magikarp continues. and I like the gag being a foreshadowing that these are Misty’s sisters…

and Misty comes in to make sure Ash earns his badge. good! Ash needs to fight to become strong. taking pity like that won’t help him at all.

and Ash falls over at the thought of being mistaken for Misty’s boyfriend….maybe he isn’t so dense after all….AHAHAHAHA jk jk, he is dense as a black hole when it comes to these things.

now to face MISTY, SECOND GYM LEADER OF THE INDIGO LEAGUE!

Pikachu: no, I don’t hurt the ladies. even thought this is a pokemon gym and water type, and I’m supposed to like, y’know, win this easily.

*clap clap* good going Ash, picking Butterfree, Misty is afraid of bugs after all.

yeah, what I don’t get: why does Misty have both Starmie AND its unevolved form? thats like owning both a Gyarados and a Magikarp, there is no point to it strategically. maybe she knows that they’re opposite genders and is hoping on breeding the two when the Staryu becomes her second Starmie?

“times like this make me want to go straight.”-I know he is talking about crime and being legal but….for a second I thought he was talking about being gay…

Yes, Ash, take the pity badge for a second time. you won’t be able to do pull that again in Vermillion…so far, all your badges, you’ve gotten because of LUCK. you have to do it through actual skill someday…

and Brock is just like “oh brother” I know, Ash’s and Misty’s bickering just gets tiring.

but yeah, this episode just proves that Misty really is the most pathetic Gym Leader ever. at least Brock’s match actually FINISHED. for Misty’s match, a draw happened then Ash got his badge out of pity.

[Traab]

Before I get into my reply, I just want to say, You need to read this (http://www.vgcats.com/super/?strip_id=0) comic. Its hilarious and wrong in all possible ways. But its a lot of fun. Super Effective is its name.

I think you harp on misty being a gym leader to much. She is the baby sister of the real gym leaders and they basically let her take over because they dont have any pokemon left to use themselves. Its basically only slightly better than, "Yeah, just take the dang badge, we dont care." As for your starmie staryu thing, remember these gym leaders apparently have to follow a theme. In all reality, its kinda pointless to have two pokemon of the same TYPE, let alone same evolutionary track. After all, chances are good that if you have the advantage you will stomp all over the opponent, and if they have it, it doesnt matter how many of the same type you have, you wont win.

Thats why bulbasaur is the ultimate starter for the indigo league. Brock? Type advantage Misty? Type advantage, Cl Thunderpants? (Im bad with names) Type advantage (in that he takes less damage, not does more) Fourth gym? Type neutral, but now your pokemon has had three gyms worth of ass kickings to dish out as well as a few dozen random trainers, most of whom you also have type advantage against or at least not a disadvantage, and is super tough. You dont hit a real disadvantage till like, cinnibar island, 7 gyms in! By that point who cares if they have the type advantage? You have like 30 levels on his pokemon! Honestly, I only catch other pokemon to qualify for the various HMs. I can blitz the entire game with bulbasaur up to and including the final battle with gary.

[Lord Raziere]

no, Misty is the only Gym leader who can actually fight in her Gym, the rest are too busy frolicking about being celebrities and ditzy beach girls who like swimming than actually being competent Gym Leaders, thats my impression of them, while Misty seems to be only one who actually CARES about being a Gym Leader, so I doubt beating Misty's sisters is an actual accomplishment. and Misty is pretty pathetic all things considered.

yeah, I never used bulbasaur in Kanto, and that wouldn't work in the later games. like try that in Unova and the first Gym leader picks whatever type your weak against, while many times you have TWO rivals, the one with your weakness starter being the one who shows up more often, that and I once did the "super-starter" kind of run in like, the ORIGINAL Pokemon Gold with a cyndaquil back when I was too stupid to use type matchups, and there were instances where my Typhlosion still lost even though he had a higher level,
but it wasn't until like Sinnoh I think where I started actually playing the right way by constantly switching out my pokemon and actually using weaknesses, and by now its more fun for me to actually play the right away because doing a singular super-powerful pokemon run is boring. there is no strategy to it. sure it might take longer and be harder, but at the end if you faced off with your hypothetical level 100 pokemon against my team of hypothetical level 100 pokemon, I win. so go ahead, brag about how you beat an entire game using one over-leveled pokemon. by now, I have an army of pokemon that I'm raising, I catch new pokemon and raise them just to see what kind of fighter I can make out of them and how I can work with their strengths and weaknesses to attain victory.

Enough levels and you can beat the games with a Bidoof. doesn't mean its a good way to do so though.

anyways, more catch up:
The Jerk Trainers Two-Parter:
where we learn that AJ just can't be argued with, and that battling eight Gym leaders is the equivalent of four years of high-paying education.

Episode 8: Why Ash Will Never Be The Best.
and of course, Ash is riding high on his first two victories and getting a big head…whelp time to slap him down then! how will someone else one-up him this time?

10 wins vs 100 wins…eh. we all know the real measure of success is badges around here.

hah! pinnochio nose! Ash KNOWS he didn’t actually win those badges fair and square. see, this anime at times acknowledges its flaws at times and doesn’t treat itself all hat seriously or whatever, at least in these early days.

HAHAHAHAHAHAH! then it points out that Brock and Misty are kind of weak for pokemon gym leaders and so are more psyched to beat this uppity brat.

hm, this episode seems to actually be showing how this AJ guy is actually pretty competent over Ash. I do admit, trying to cover up weaknesses is pretty smart.

and yea, Ash is really showing himself to be a fool and an idiot in this episode. its good actually, because its better than the protagonist always been right for no reason. unlike some other shows I can name…

yeah yeah, whatever AJ. we all know we won’t ever see you ever again.

but really I don’t get the logic behind this episode. it doesn’t matter how many battles you fight, it matters what strategy you use. I kind of actually wanted AJ to lose because he is such a brat, but I also dislike how Ash is in this episode. everyone is kind of wrong in this one to my way of thinking. but yeah, this series is full of people who demonstrate they’re better than Ash and always kick him back down just when he really gets going, just so that the series does not end. for the first two arcs, this is good, but after Orange Islands or Johto, at some point they should’ve just allowed Ash to become a Pokemon Master then switched perspective to a new trainer in whatever region they’re going to next. more believable, and keeps the status quo more intact in some ways, and they already show enough trainers to clearly demonstrate that there are lot of other stories out there…


Episode 9: School For the Pokemon Incompetent.

and we open on Misty still complaining about her bike. huh, eight episodes she still hasn’t forgotten it yet! cool. I’m still waiting for the point where she forgets about the bike thing.

how did Brock pack an entire TABLE AND FINERY with him!? and this is of course, the first time we see the cooking side of Brock. he is basically the team’s cook. certainly more cartoonish than his later cooking.

french? France exists in pokeverse? hm, might just be Kanto Weirdness. the early series is full of little weird inconsistencies like this, because the writers are still trying to find their footing. so they put in a lot of references to the real world and it makes it unclear just how much pokeverse is its own world or apart of our world, blurring the line…

now they’re referencing levels. more Kanto Weirdness, its not clear how much the pokemon show takes from the games, so they are just throwing in whatever works for this certain episode I think.

AHAHHAHA! Misty is like “how brave of you Ash, taking them on by yourself.” and
Ash realizes his mistake instantly. teamwork Ash. learn it.

so its this weird school that is like bypassing the usual way to get in the League by taking classes….but here is the thing. unless that school comes with six-well trained pokemon given to all students, taking this school don’t mean jack. the fact that these snobbish kids look down on fighting is proof enough that this school is pretty much just for millionaires to show off their kids and say “he is qualified to FIGHT in the Indigo League!” even if they don’t actually have any pokemon, and aren’t actually competent enough to win it. its like making a bunch of football nerds who don’t actually play football qualified to play in the NFL. sure, they’d technically qualify, but you wouldn’t actually want them on the team nor would it be a good idea to have them on the team. this school is basically nothing but a pointless status symbol.

oh hey, Ash actually shows attraction to a girl for once. huh.

so….Jessie and James are poke school flunkies? that explains a lot. They were sent to a snobbish school like this, they tried their hardest and flunked, so they said “screw it, lets be criminals” because they realized schools like these were stupid and nothing but status symbols anyways, so why not steal stuff instead? it may technically lower, but at least its more rewarding!

hey, Brock may be bad at picking up girls….but at least he is experienced enough to know not to get into between two girls who hate each other.

and Giselle goes “lol, I’mma beat you with a rock type, just to humiliate you.” Misty, your ass is going to get kicked. I was right. Misty: Most. Pathetic. Gym Leader. Ever.

so….two months have already passed in pokemon time? huh.

and yeah, screw this Giselle bitch. Ash, kick this elitist school girl to the curb and show her how a REAL pokemon trainer does it. all she does is talk. talk. talk and be annoying.
YEAH! your ass got kicked! can’t believe it? sorry, EMPIRICAL EVIDENCE BITCH! no belief needed.

and yeah, time to move on from that stupid school, and learned so much? hahahahahaha no. honestly this school seems pretty pointless given that we never see any actual examples of people participating in the Indigo League without any badges and only seems to have pointlessly high standards to the point where Jessie and James rather go be criminals than keep trying to get better.


The Starter Recruitment Trilogy:
Yeah, surprisingly they put all three starter recruitment episodes right next to each other. they don't even bother spacing them out, Ash just gets them three episodes in row. things like this make me wonder if the writers just do every episode as variations upon a theme or something, like they just write three episodes that are related to one another in some way then say "good enough"

Episode 10: A Shortcut to A Longer Series

and the first of to my memory, MANY MANY episodes where Ash and the gang get lost. considering how it isn’t all that hard to get around these regions, thats quite an accomplishment. and three episodes so far and we still haven’t gotten to Vermillion. yeah, the first two Gym battles put so early together means that the other six are spaced out across like, 68 episodes or so. it could awhile yet before we face…Lieutenant Surge I think? I don’t know the exact episode count here. Pokemon is very much a “stroll” type of show, nothing ever gets done fast, lots of detours, and its more about the problem you face today rather than the overall problem of the entire season. if this were any other show, Ash would already be like, facing Surge right now.

I mean could you imagine if Pokemon was made by the same guys who made TTGL? By episode ten, Ash would be flying on a Pidgeot to go fight Blaine, and by Episode 16 or something be fighting in the Indigo League complete with crazy over-the-top battles that make the most destructive canon pokemon battles seem tame, and when he would finally win the Indigo League, suddenly Mewtwo would appear and try to rally all pokemon to wipe out all humans in revenge or something twisty like that, then by episode 25, Ash and his Pikachu would be fighting Arceus himself or Giovanni controlling Arceus to try and take over the universe. and then pikachu somehow defeats Arceus himself using the greatest Thunder ever and Ash saves the day, and then it would be over. but enough of that, on with the episode.

Misty, thats a grass type. you should be running in fear of the Oddish right now. a Gym Leader doesn’t know a grass when she sees one? I mean dude, it has leaves on its head right there, and its just drinking the water, everyone does that. questionable logic for a WATER GYM LEADER to catch it.

and pit trap. which means that Team Rocket is not far from here.

and hm, Brock seems more shy at first. he certainly got less subtle in his advances over the years. and Misty got less tolerant of such behavior. in fact, this is pretty much a reversal of the roles they would develop later on: Brock in this episode is too shy to actually admit his feelings so Misty is constantly teasing him. But the character that he would develop later on is basically throwing himself constantly at every woman he comes across with Misty literally pulling him away from them. Guess Brock got more desperate over time while Misty got less sympathetic about his shenanigans.

and a Bulbasaur that hates trainers WON’T LAST LONG.

and yeah. weird seeing that the dynamic that Brock and Misty would develop later on is actually a reversal of their original one, and Ash is dense about this sort of thing as a rock as always.

ahahahahah! Narrator, your in for it now, cause…these three take so many “shortcuts” that the Indigo League alone is like 81 episodes. Orange islands? 36 episodes. Johto is three different arcs totaling about 150 episodes. honestly, I think Pokemon wouldn’t be half as long if the trio just followed the roads and routes all the time like in the games. if you think they take forever to get anywhere now, just wait until they’re in Johto, they honestly spend forever and half there, its Pokemon’s Namek. heck, I like pokemon and I haven’t see most of Johto’s episodes, I haven’t seen most of pokemon’s episodes in general, its just one of those shows that are so long running yet so iconic and episodic that even if you don’t know exactly when or where this is taking place, everything makes sense. you don’t do this chronicle-marathon thing to watch pokemon like I’m doing, you catch an episode when you occasionally can while marveling at how this show is still on. I’m honestly considering myself a little crazy for even attempting this.

Episode 11: Idiotic Trainer Abandonment Issues

oh, this is the charmander episode. lemme guess the squirtle episode is up next. they just decided to put each joining episode of the three starters back to back…

and I remember this episode…involves the charmander almost dying….0_0..

I really don’t get this Damien character. just….ugh. he just seems pointlessly evil. Ash clearly doesn’t recognize him, so he isn’t one of the Pallet trainers. I really think this anime wasted some good potential by forgetting to show the other two trainers from Pallet Town, more potential for foils and characters by actually showing them and developing characterization, but thats just my opinion…

and Misty if you gotta help a pokemon in need, then why are you complaining? ugh.

oh my god, Fearows are *****. “oh a pokemon in need in the rain thats clearly dying? GET OFF OUR LAND, SQUATTER!” seriously, sometimes I think Fearow are just there to be evil pokemon for no reason.

Brock seems to be more caring of that Charmander than Ash. too bad all their efforts at saving its life eventually pay off in the Charmander become a dickish Charmeleon, then an uncontrollable Charizard. I mean dude, they saved your life and how you repay them is by becoming this massive disobedient jerk? geh.

Damien. your an idiot. your the biggest idiot. you make Ash look like a genius.

Episode 12: The Coming of the Kaminuirtle

and this episode opens with a literal pitfall. slapped down again just when you think Ash is start to get a successful streak.

“Here comes the Squirtle Squad” YUP! they literally put these three episodes back to back. wasting no time filling out Ash’s team with….the five most basic pokemon in existence. Pikachu, Pidgeotto, Butterfree, Bulbasaur, Charmander and Squirtle. What does it say about Ash that his Kanto team is basically a bunch of pokemon you get before you even arrive at Pewter City?

and there is the Squirtle squad, complete with the Kamina-Squirtle with the pointed shades. The….Kaminuirtle if you will. I am assuming that Kaminuirtle is merely a herald of the TTGL to come rather than TTGL taking the idea from pokemon or whatever.

Pikachu zaps one of the squad! EPIC STAREDOWN: COMMENCE.
What will the Kaminuirtle do? It knows its up against an electric type and will get beaten if he doesn’t play smart, Pikachu just keeps staring, daring the Kaminuirtle to try something. This is…pokemon chicken.

another Jenny, complete with photo showing all the Jennies. I don’t buy them being cousins. there is genetic variation for a reason. it helps protect against disease. they must be clones somehow.

….but then again, Brock’s family all looks like him….maybe thats just how genetics in pokeverse work? you just all look similar like pokemon, because humans once were pokemon or something?

yes, Jessie, you ARE the only member who thinks that. they both got their heads on straight, your head’s in the clouds.

…I know Team Rocket are the bad guys but…thats their food dude. don’t steal it, they’re just trying to eat, and they’re not that much of a threat anyways.

I honestly feel more sorry for Team Rocket here. I mean, THIS is the Squirtle that is supposed to join Ash? He is a thieving scoundrel who is taking food from people who is just as starving, sure they’ve done things wrong, but come on…thats no excuse to take food from them. you may put Team Rocket in jail or whatever, but stealing food is a no-no.

sigh…..like pokemon like trainer…

hahahaha! Gary slams the door in Ash’s face and walks by without even seeing him. just when Ash finally caught up with him…

huh, guns exist in pokemon. nice to know.

they didn’t actually show Meowth grabbing pikachu, just getting on the balloon and riding off…

does Kaminuirtle run for it? NO! He picks up an entire HUMAN then runs for it! while CRYING IN JOY! While dodging BOMBS! that is the power of….KAMINUIRTLE!

[Traab]

I cant believe I forgot the squirtle squad started out as bandits or whatever. I just remembered when we saw them again.

[Lord Raziere]

well y'know what I can't believe?

Episode 13: Gazing Into That Mysterious Beyond...
oh, the lighthouse episode. I vaguely remember this one. an air of mystery to it. hm.

oh right, this is the episode where he catches the Crabby. it won’t be useful to him until the tournament, I think. by then it will be a Kingler I think.

and he catches by….sticking a stick in its claws then throwing a pokeball. odd. It works though, so….why question the method?

and off to the weird lighthouse, let see….arcanine tablet. more signs that ancient people revered the arcanine for various uses….ok why put in a Scyther picture? maybe they like it because of the fact that it cuts things, swords are always seen as a good weapon after all….and I see a carving of Mewtwo on there to! but that doesn’t make any sense, Mewtwo hasn’t been created yet….maybe the person living in the lighthouse can see the future…

oh right, this is Bill. in the games he made the poke storage system, and he is stuck in this kabuto suit he made because he didn’t account for thumbs and such.

and this is why this episode is memorable: it has this mysterious feel about it, Bill goes into this speech about how everything has a meaning, its night out, it truly looks at the scope of the trainer’s goal and journey: to catch 150 pokemon, which is no easy task and further saying how those are just the pokemon discovered so far. its how to say it, zooming out a little and looking at it in the grand scheme of things. one of the best things about pokemon is that it has rules that it tries to remain self-consistent to (even if Pikachu can’t damage rock types in game, its shown in the anime that pokemon weak to certain types can overcome that with strengthening exercises training, so its still consistent) yet at the same time, it has these hints of a greater unknown, of mysteries not yet solved, that despite all the things we know, there are still things we don’t, things still left to discover. and this episode gets that across very well I think.

“its probably the biggest pokemon yet”- so your looking for a Wailord? (just joking, we’re years away from that appearing. but still…)

and this continues the whole mystery thing I have chills about this, even now. what pokemon is Bill seeking? what kind of pokemon is it? all that. its probably one that has been revealed by now, but there is the feeling of a greater unknown here, something grander, beyond what we currently know about pokemon. and this to me, suggests that pokemon isn’t just another cartoon, there is something about this that sticks with people.

oh….yeah, really its just a Dragonite. but still I like the mystery of it. for a moment I thought it was Lugia, and man it would’ve been kickass if that was true. why? because Lugia wasn’t in the pokedex yet. it would be like Togepi: a pokemon that came out of nowhere and doesn’t seem to fit the established knowledge of pokemon. I think. but still, its a good episode, because its not just another problem being solved, its looking at how the more we know, the more we realize that we know very little about the world around us.


I can't believe that Dragonite was once hyped up as some mysterious rarely seen pokemon when really its just a fat Charizard with smaller wings and no flame on its tail. and really, now that I think about it, I'd really have preferred it if Dragonair had a better evolution than Dragonite, because why ruin such a sleek beautiful pokemon by evolving it into a fat Charizard? whenever I get a Dragonair, I'm giving it an Everstone. speaking of not evolving:

Episode 14: Die or Fly
and we finally got to Vermillion! yes. Ash, its time to face a Gym leader who won’t go soft on you. time to prove that your not just some loser who people take pity on. and the other two Gym leaders know it. no more pity Badges Ash. its time to die or fly.

hahaha, Ash…..your going to lose.

wow, Surge is a ****. at least we know that he won’t go easy on Ash like the last two.

and Pikachu is pissed. yeah. this won’t end well.

LIEUTENANT SURGE, THIRD GYM LEADER OF THE INDIGO LEAGUE! FIGHT!

holy ****, this Raichu knows Mega Punch AND Mega Kick…looks like electric attacks isn’t all it can do.

hehe, Team Rocket is rooting for Pikachu because they don’t want to admit all their efforts have been for nothing.

and of course, Pikachu REJECTS evolution, because apparently Pikachu has its pride and doesn’t like snooty Raichu being all elitist at it. I can get behind that.

heh, Misty keeps clarifying that she is worried about Pikachu. Ash, your still a loser because not even your friend cares about you enough to worry about you.

lucky star? do you mean the sun? thats kind of everyone’s lucky star dude. because it gave us all life. it doesn’t count.

and Team Rocket shows up…..to cheer. yeah. Team Rocket is weird. They’re villains, but they’re so pathetic and sympathetic that they might as well be good guys who fail at being good.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, Misty figures out that its Team Rocket instantly as they run away.

and thats how Ash finally got a badge for real: by just using Pikachu.....do quick attack a lot. technically, yes, there is agility but its not actually a damaging move, so I'm assuming that Pikachu was like "I'm just going to assume you mean Quick Attack!" and do that.

and I like this episode because its the first time that Ash had to actually work for his victory. first time, it was luck, second time, it was interrupted. but third time is the charm. he has flown.

“drat we wasted this episode cheering the good guys!”- first actual occurrence of Team Rocket’s fourth wall breaking. and we love them for it.


and trust me, this is not the only "Pokemon can be badass without evolving!" aesop that we will see in Kanto. there is more, and you will get tired of it as I have.

[Traab]

Dragonite is also supposedly smart like a freaking super computer. While dragonair is a gorgeous looking pokemon, Dragonite has the (at the time) much touted hyperbeam attack, superior intellect, and is physically stronger and such than its earlier evolution. But yeah, Bill is a mystery fella. As for the thunder badge, thats true, he really did have to earn it. It really didnt help that pikachu insisted on being the one to fight, but he was able to figure out his weakness and exploit it. Nice stuff. Also, the growing bond between ash and pikachu is nicely displayed.

[Shekinah]

Dragonair is my favorite Pokemon. Always has been, probably always will be.

Whatever happened to that huge Dragonite, anyway? We never see it again.

[ThePhantom]

Its the pokemon anime, it won't be until quite a while before we have more recurring characters.
And welcome back Raziere, I've missed your let's watches.

[Lord Raziere]

yeah, don't care about Dragonite being smart or whatever, to me its just a fat Charizard.

I don't know what what happened to the Dragonite, we probably just never saw it again. the Pokemon anime is the kind of the show that brings something up, then when the episode is over, doesn't bring that certain thing up again for long periods of time or never at all. we're talking entire seasons of waiting before a certain thing is revisited again. like hey y'know that Spearow Ash ticked off in the first episode? just keep it in your memory. just keep it there, and wait.

which is why the following episodes are actually kind of strange, I present to you:
The Shipwreck Trilogy
Episode 15: Totally Not The Titanic.
aaaah, the cruise ship part. yeah, the early anime at least follows the video game plot to a T.

why is Team Rocket giving them tickets? why wouldn’t they just….keep the tickets to themselves? oh right, they’re obsessed with pikachu. and why does James just keep saying “cool!” for no reason?

you ARE kind of androgynous like that, James…

I think this was an attempt at Team Rocket finally trying to get serious, but nothing ever came of it? like, Giovanni is supposed to be this big villain but we hardly ever face him. he is so shadowy that I want him to finally get faced for once that wasn’t that Mewtwo Returns movie.

and here is the first time James gets scammed into buying a Magikarp. honestly, even James shouldn’t fall for this, because Magikarp is the most common pokemon ever, they’re in the waters of like every region. but then again the scam in question is all about exploiting the fact that its so common because it multiplies so quickly, while relying on the fact that James doesn’t know jack about economics- after all, if Magikarp multiply so much then the price goes down because of the laws of scarcity and abundance. Magikarp already being so common, I doubt that the Magikarp are actually worth all that much to begin with. coupled with the fact that James is a criminal and that the salesman include side stuff to seem legit..yeah, I actually can see James falling for it now, because criminal who tries to steal things is probably the worst person at economics ever.

Ash: Should I trade Brock?
Brock: yeah yeah! Everybody should trade! Yes Trade! yeah yeah! Trade bodily fluids! yeah yeah!

and of course, Jessie tells him off about getting a goddamn Magikarp in a scam. Magikarp isn’t really useless, its just that it only has one use: become a Gyarados, which is incredibly useful because Gyarados are awesome. not evolving it just means you only have tackle as a viable move, so the only reason you’d want to actually send out a Magikarp in a fight is to humiliate your opponent.

and Ash is already having doubts about trading his butterfree. yeah, he is going to get that Butterfree back, I don’t remember how, but its definitely going to be back soon.

aaaand Team Rocket- the BIG organization Team Rocket- Begins their attack! but the other trainers are not going down easy…

wait where did all the other pikachu come from? did they just reuse the animation from the second episode?

oh Brock is smart: sending out a Geodude has less chance of destroying the ship around it.

awwww, we’re having a flashback in the middle of a cool fight scene…I hate it when that happens.

…..unsinkable eh? thats what they said about the Titanic….

OH BULL****. YOUR JUST LYING TO THEM SO THAT YOU CAN ESCAPE YOURSELF! SOME CAPTAIN! YOUR NOTHING BUT A SCUMBAG!

“all who didn’t leave the ship, say aye”……this captain is the biggest idiot ever.

aaand this episode ends with BOTH TEAM ROCKET AND…..TEAM ASH STUCK IN A SINKING SHIP. A CLIFFHANGER. and this is where your suddenly scared, because this doesn’t follow the video game at all, this is a real danger that could actually happen, and the problem isn’t solved by the end of the episode. its all off the rails from here...

Episode 16: Out of the Frying Pan…
I like how they are honoring Jessie and James as well. after all, even criminals deserve a good burial right?

I’m going to ignore the implausibility of this ship sinking without the inside being flooded as well…

….wait Jessie and James are on an island….this is a dream isn’t it? yup and then they’re stupid enough to open ANOTHER hole in the floor, goddammit Team Rocket.

uh Ash? WHY ARE YOU SENDING OUT YOUR CHARMANDER!? IT DIES WHEN ITS FLAME GOES OUT! YOUR SURROUNDED BY WATER! GET IT BACK IN ITS BALL NOW!

oh god, NOW you send out your Onix? this is a bad time for that Brock….cramped hallway….surrounded by water…heavier than Geodude….really didn’t think this out did you?

wow Ash. you literally needed Pikachu to give your brain a jump start with electricity. you really are an idiot.

STOP SENDING OUT CHARMANDER YOU IDIOT, HE WILL DIE IF YOU MAKE A MISTAKE. AAAAAAAAGH.

hahahahaa, Team Rocket’s last hope is a goddamn Magikarp. only Team Rocket. Only Team Rocket.

and of course, there is only hope fails. Only with Team Rocket.

Team Ash, your pokemon are useless at finding things, they only keep finding Team Rocket.

and Pikachu’s like “dammit, they lived!”

they try to eat the Magikarp, find out they can't and punt it off....and then the Magikarp evolves into Gyarados and kicks their asses. once again, an episode ends with their problem not solved. just going from bad to worse.

but really I like this episode, because its all about showcasing how pokemon can be useful outside battle, especially to escape dangerous situations like these.

Episode 17:….And Into The Fire
and they wash up on shore. at least they’re no longer at sea.

so….Team Rocket got Ekans and Koffing as presents? ok, leaving aside the pathetic-ness of that, isn’t it kind of sucky to get a poison type pokemon as a present? I mean its kind like of saying “you only deserve poison pokemon” or something, I mean imagine if something gave you a Grimer as a present, would you be thankful? its basically an insult present. No wonder Jessie and James turned to crime, their only pokemon are given to them by people who seem to hate them.

ah! when did Pikachu get subtitles!? when did POKEMON get subtitles!?

forget it guys, its a Slowpoke, its dumb as a Magikarp and twice as slow.

….you can get eaten by wild pokemon? 0_0

“Its just Meowth”- Truer words have never been spoken, Pikachu.

apparently Ekans and Koffing only care about obeying their Masters. hm.

GIAANNNT RHYYYYYDDOOOOOOOON!!!

AAAAAAND ZAPDOS!

and theeeeeeerress Moltres!

wait wait what, where did the table and buffet stand come from!? why is it manned by a Slowbro? Kanto Weirdness thats why.

aaaaand hung up! Giovanni even this early, isn’t take any of Team Rocket’s nonsense.

heh, Squirtle asks for directions and…epic fail. and Bulbasaur is too much of a coward to do what the Squirtle could. heh.

wow, I like how Team Rocket can predict their luck so accurately. only….Charmander was in that cart, and it crashed into the water.. 0_0 shouldn’t it be dead now!?

….Giovanni spent millions on pokemon land? for what reason?

and now we arrive in Porta Vista. a….completely made up city, because we’re still off the rails here. and the question of how Charmander survived crashing into the water is never answered! thank god for just cutting to a few days later without any explanation! weirdest episode ever.

all in all the Shipwreck Trilogy is to me some of the iconic episodes of Pokemon. sure its like, all filler or something, but to me this is where they really start to establish their pacing, really start to show that they have continuity. its not just some episodic show where everything is automatically solved, its one where the protagonists can bounce from problem to problem before things really get done.

I mean you'd think that they just say that Team Ash would luckily find themselves on some shore and then just continue on after ship sank, so I actually like the effort they put into this by making it a three episode kind of deal where one problem just led to another problem, which you don't normally see in episodic shows like this. and we can see the faint glimmers of Pokemon Mystery Dungeon already peeking through on the last one with pokemon being given subtitles and discussing things themselves to show that Pokemon aren't animals, they're actually just as sapient and intelligent as humans. yes probably even the Magikarp. even if Magikarp could be eaten....which they can't as Meowth demonstrates...it would be killing and eating a sapient being, one whose friends could at any moment turn into one of the most dangerous pokemon in the world if given the right trigger. just keep that in mind and be thankful that there is evidence that normal animals exist in pokemon Earth.

Edit: wait I just realized.....wouldn't Jenny have to let Mrs. Ketchum know that Ash sank on a ship and thus probably died? yeah, his mother would be devastated if she found out! thankfully thats taken care of in the banned episode which comes next....

[ThePhantom]

Um, well, Ash does fight Giovanni once in the main series, but that's a long, loooooong time from now. Like, the season just before the current one.

[Lord Raziere]

something to look forward to in the distant future then. assuming I can get through all the seasons before that.

anyways. lets see what these next three weird episodes are all about:

The Seaside Nonsense Trilogy
Episode 18: The Obligatory Beach Episode
oh hm, apparently this was a banned episode. Cool! I get to watch something that some jerk thought would corrupt me in my youth!

ahahaha! “its just weird to see you looking like a girl” thats gotta hurt for Misty…

….how did Team Rocket get a submarine so fast? nevermind. they’re Team Rocket. they might as well have the ability to warp reality so long as they’re ineffective at accomplishing their goals.

so this episode features Team Ash accidentally stealing a boat? AHAHAHAHAHA!

and goes to both Teams having to work for old people for one reason or another….uh-huh.

HA! what a reversal. Team Rocket gets the good diner.

um Ash….I don’t think you can just use pokemon to attack- oh. your just using them to help sell stuff. creative!

thing is, all this is perfectly legal, so you guys have no right to interfere other than to help raise money…

Suddenly: PROFESSOR OAK! and Ash’s Mom! da hell? where’d they come from?

I’m not going to make fun of James preference of crossdressing. except for maybe one unoriginal joke:
James: Ooooooh Ashy Boy
Ash: What’re you, transgender?
James: Bitch, I might be.

Suddenly: GARY OAK! and boy is he right about Ash. he points out his lack of self-control, he smack talks him all up and down this episode, Gary Mother****ing Oak: he may be a ****, but he is OUR ****.

and then Ash shows him up by expertly taking care of Team Rocket. AWESOME. but why was this episode banned again? anyways, I like it. shows that not EVERYTHING is about pokemon, has Gary Oak in it, creative use of pokemon, sure its filler, but I like seeing it for some reason.

Episode 19: A PETA-Approved Episode.
so…..this episode is literally about what happens during the three hours they’re waiting for the ferry? yup, filler again.

oh hey, Misty actually being competent and saving those sailors lives, cool.

and the rich jerk is literally offering a million of dollars, free food and free stays in the hotel to get rid of some tentacool and Ash is all for it…disturbing.

and Ash doesn’t get why not to exterminate the tentacool. idiot.

“she expects to get people to destroy the tentacool for money? how ridiculous”- oh Misty. poor. idealistic. Misty. humans will do anything for money. its money.

including Team Rocket! but….its Team Rocket, it backfires and makes a Tentacool, a Tentacruel. now you’re really screwed.

yeah, the tentacruel/cool are now attacking the city. I don’t think they are the ones that need protecting Misty…also this is kind of why environmentalism is more plausibly widespread in pokeverse: you **** with nature, it has super-animals capable of destroying your city and are just as smart as you to **** you back.

good, no using Charmander. would just get in the way.

heh, Brutella and Nastina are related. of course.

yes. Tentacruel only destroyed and flooded half a town in vengeance, thus ruining and probably killing many lives. not that bad at all. *roll eyes*

I kind of don’t like this episode really. its basically “polluting environment bad! nature will have their revenge! don’t listen to corrupt corporate ********s!” coupled with “vengeance bad” and “give peace a chance.” its cliched. its stupid. but its inevitable. problem is, its well……see my title for this one, I think you get it.

Episode 20: Maiden Ghost Scam
oh I remember this one. this is that Ghastly episode. prepare for Kanto weirdness!

and of course, Brock is starting to become more obvious in his girl-obsession already.

Brock, don’t go for her, ITS A TRAP! both literally and in the other sense: I’m pretty sure from the voice that the Ghastly is male.

James don’t fall for it- no wait, you crossdress. don’t go for it, unless your into that kind of thing. not judging dude, I’d be lying if I did not admit you didn’t look cute as a girl, your right about that at the very least. but then again….Ghastly…don’t go for it anyways. even if you’d totally have much in common otherwise.

Jenny your an idiot. you didn’t even notice the R’s or anything like that?

Brock and James have been possessed by the ghost madness. they must be purified with good smacks to the head…..

they spent all night there, and they look happy but messed up. hm. ghost sex maybe?

….those stickers are just there for scamming people isn’t it? I bet she is on it with the Ghastly: The Ghastly is her pokemon, she makes the Ghastly cast a spell on some people then she rakes in the dough by selling tags to make the Ghastly “go away” they don’t actually do anything.

oh right, the old woman IS the Ghastly thats a weird twist. it is a scam to make money. but what the Ghastly do with it? its a ghost.

big mouse trap, cat toy and here is a freaking MONGOOSE. real animals do exist in pokemon! or Kanto Weirdness because talking illusion master Ghastly. that….y’know. doesn’t appear anywhere else in the anime.

…..actually yes you do look like one. you got the voice, the fangs….hypnosis, you drain life from men….seems pretty vampiric to me. and hates the day. yup. vampire.

….ok, the Ghastly actually has the approval of the real ghost and enjoys this as if this was a harmless prank and makes a few bucks off of this and….AAAAAARGH. KANTO. WEIRDNESS. don’t question it.

wow, Misty cleans up nicely. she really needs to stop wearing that stupid sideways ponytail, she looks better without it. and summer has ended…so…according to this, Ash has been a trainer for probably about three months? last time check it was two months, so I think a month has passed.

one of the more memorable episodes yes. still don’t know what to think of it. its like: what is even the point of all this? its not bad or good, its just pure WTF?

I mean just look at these three. one got banned for reasons I can't figure out, the next one after that sounds like PETA wrote it or something, and the last is just everyone getting scammed by a randomly talking Ghastly. I feel like the writers were having an off day when they were writing these episodes, even if this Ghastly episode is one of the most memorable episodes of Kanto (not the BEST mind you, just the one that sticks in your mind the most).

[Shekinah]

I actually like The Ghost of Maiden's Peak. It's nice to see a Pokemon who can talk other than Meowth, and a Gastly doing something nice for someone is a wonderful change of pace from the usual ghost stereotypes. The reveal at the end is awesome, in my opinion.

And as for the giant Dragonite, that thing is huge! You'd think someone would have seen it and said, "Hey, big Dragonite. What's it doing here?"

Either that or poachers got it.

[Traab]

I think it got banned due to it being 50 years ago when the series started and trans looking people were a big nono. Crossdressing played for laughs sure, but big boobed guys? Creepy and WRONG! Wont somebody please think of the children?! Speaking of, I think there is another banned episode, only this time its because the leader of the safari zone was pointing a gun at ash and crew. Stuff gets banned for odd reasons. I dunno, maybe that happened shortly after a school shooting or something so it was a bad case of too soon?

[Lord Raziere]

ah, finally captured two legendaries in Alpha-Sapphire. I'm not sure if telling would spoilers or not, so I'm just going to leave you to guess which two. But I will give you a hint: They're not Kyogre and Latias.

Um no, its closer to 15 years ago....and yeah, there is a banned episode such as that and I saw it and well....here is the thing about the banned episodes in general: Pokemon looks episodic on the surface, but the only two banned episodes this season actually turn out to be vital to filling a couple plot holes that... while relatively minor probably, they still raise questions.

the Beach banned episode? yeah it explains why Ash's mother isn't worried sick about Ash potentially being dead. because she shows up and sees him just fine right after he got done with the whole stranded on a strange island adventure.

while the second banned episode explains how Ash got thirty freaking Tauros. an episode banned because gun-brandishing, when guns are brandished at Ash in the Squirtle Squad episode when Ash goes to get medicine, so its not even consistent.

but enough about that stupidity, lets look at another brand of stupidity:

The Sabrina Trilogy:
Where we learn that Sabrina is evil, Ghost types are most unreliable jerks ever and that a father handing you a badge because her daughter is laughing is apparently a legit victory. ...Yeah.

Episode 21: Psychics Are Overpowered.
Saffron? huh, we’re going Sabrina now? huh, this really is off the rails. I’m pretty sure that Sabrina is the fifth Gym leader in the games and Erika is the fourth. but they’re facing Sabrina first….and Erika after that. hm, six episodes since Surge. at this rate, we’ll get to the final Gym around….episode 46. hm. leaving how many episodes to get to the League, then how many more to actually show the League? 22? hm. seems about right.

yeah, if I remember correctly, Ash loses against Sabrina and it won’t be until…two episodes later until he actually gets the badge. because Haunter shenanigans.

and Team Rocket fools them into taking a Warp tile through Silph Co. while taking pikachu ah, those were always annoying in the games.

and they decide to ignore Team Rocket. they are pretty much jokes at this point. so. makes sense.

now to face…SABRINA, FOURTH GYM LEADER OF THE INDIGO LEAGUE!

don’t just dawdle pikachu, attack.

WAIT WHAT, SABRINA CAN JUST TELEKINETICALLY EVOLVE THINGS!? Thats….kinda of scary actually. she has fine control enough to manipulate DNA and the growth patterns of other life forms. very sophisticated telekinetic ability. there psychics in other works of fiction who can only wish they were so powerful.

and now that Ash has lost, they are now stuck in a toy box as her toys….um….I don’t think this is legal…..just saying.

Ash now has to go capture a ghost pokemon to beat Sabrina. this is why we got Dark types in Johto, PSYCHICS ARE OVERPOWERED IN GENERATION ONE.

Episode 22: Ghosts Are Jerks
and we open with them getting scared and Ash screwing with them because they need to deal with fear. he is not wrong y’know.

“I’ll just save the masks until next year’s halloween”- huh, its already October? we gone from summer to october, two months, it took two months to get to Saffron city?

and Team Rocket is fail again as they get scared into being knocked out by a Ghastly.

what is the point of Ash mistaking Team Rocket for pokemon then attacking and trying to capture them?

Ash. Pikachu is to your RIGHT, down at your FEET, how could he POSSIBLY be tapping you on the LEFT shoulder!?

yeah, Ash is basically saying what we’re all thinking: these guys are not funny. they’re basically ghosts who watch too much old slapstick comedies.

dude, why’d you take their souls out of their bodies? just, whats the point?

and so Haunter decides to join because it can. don’t hold your breath, won’t last for long.

Episode 23: Why We Have Dark Types
“biggest pokemon showdown of his life”? BULL****. spoilers: no such showdown actually takes place.

and Haunter skips out on Ash during the match. really not dependable at all. did Ash even get Haunter into a pokeball? we never get shown Haunter actually getting caught inside one. I think he is still wild and just decided to follow Ash for kicks and giggles.

send out Pidgeotto then?

I’m pretty sure turning people into dolls is somehow a crime. really, how does Sabrina get away with this? she is currently worse and more dangerous than Team Rocket, yet we don’t see any Jennies riding on her ass. maybe her psychic powers keeps her from getting arrested for her crimes? like, the Jennies are literally not strong enough to take on Sabrina, she rules Saffron city through fear. would explain why she took out Team Rocket instead of the police: SHE HAS ALREADY ELIMINATED THEM.

“meanest”? “mischievous”? BULL. she is a psychic overlord that the police are apparently doing nothing about. Sabrina should be sent to jail for her crimes against human rights.

she can apparently destroy entire buildings with just psychic ability. no wonder the police can’t arrest her. Jennies are useless.

wow Ash. Wow. your an idiot. you can’t even put two and two together to figure out that guy is Sabrina’s father.

Team Rocket are idiots. Einstein didn’t invent the lightbulb.

Haunter what the hell, your screwing with people to make them fall to their DEATHS. I’m beginning to think your just as bad as Sabrina!

No, Haunter made them fall in such a way that would kill people. Haunter is a murderer. Team Rocket’s plan was stupid and wouldn’t work, if he didn’t interfere, they would be defeated yet again, all Haunter did was prove he is evil.

her own Mother is trying to defend her while being a goddamn DOLL. Stockholm syndrome? Hypnosis to accept her condition? you make the call!

goddammit, not again Haunter!

and Kadabra used Recover after Pikachu FINALLY gets a hit in, Psychics are Overpowered.

and Haunter comes in and starts its bad comedy act. apparently Sabrina likes bad slapstick.

“just how dense can a person BE!?”- with Ash? dense as a supermassive black hole, trust me, there is no end to how stupid Ash can be if the plot or jokes require it.

and so Ash wins because Haunter is a prankster. and so everything is fine because…Psychics and Ghosts are massive evil ***** who take pleasure out of screwing with other peoples lives using their powers and thus actually have a lot in common. and so Ash earns a third badge in a way thats probably against the rules because of familial sentimentality.

Yeah, is there any wonder I look back upon this episode with a little disgust? the Psychic Gym Leader is evil, the Ghost type is unreliable and evil, their crimes are swept under the rug because happy ending, and Ash gets another pity badge because Sabrina’s father wants his daughter back. and huh, for some reason I thought Haunter stayed with Sabrina but….now I’m not sure what happened with Haunter, because they don’t show where he gone! did he go back to Oaks? I’m confused. but yeah, this is the episode showcasing why Dark types needed to be introduced.

and….hm, 20 episodes in, and Ash already has half the badges he needs. at this rate, he will have all of them by episode 40 or so. whats the other 40 episodes about then?

[Shekinah]

Sabrina is one of the most interesting gym leaders in Pokemon. I remember feeling really sorry for her dad, being afraid of his own daughter and being unwilling to face the fact that he has these powers as well, and they're not normal.

Officer Jenny is too busy arresting ten-year-olds to bother with Sabrina.

[Lord Raziere]

and thus, Jennies are Useless.

Episode 24: Limited Time Offer Official Pokemon League Garbage
and we open on Oak’s Lab! interesting.

oh so, Haunter ISN’T at Oaks then? but then doesn’t that go against the six pokemon limit? where IS Haunter?

oh. this is the Primeape episode. so….no follow up on what happened with Haunter? just stayed with Sabrina or whatever? kay. but I remember this episode. Primeape is AWESOME. just plain fact.

aaaah localization. 4kids for some reason makes them refer to rice cakes as “donuts” for reasons I don’t know when they’re clearly not donuts. stupid as hell.

congrats Ash! you caught a DONUT!

Pokedex Entry: Donut
No. 152.
The Fatty Food Pokemon
This Pokemon is completely immobile. It comes in a variety of flavors and designs dwelling in its natural habitat, known as a “Donut Shop”. Completely artificially made by humans, it is said to the tastiest food known to all mankind.

Would you like to give your DONUT a nickname? Y/N.

oh crap you made the mankey angry, nice going Ash. now he has taken your hat.

and this episode marks the first time Team Rocket distracts Meowth with a ball of yarn. I think. it might be the only time. I dunno.

this is so pathetic. Ash wants his hat back because its “official” or something. he is basically going to great lengths for a piece of ****ty promotional merchandise probably made for advertising purposes. does he do it because that hat has sentimental value to it of some past memory? does he try to get it back because it reminds him of some earlier memory? nope. its just some stupid limited edition hat that serves no purpose whatsoever. they weren’t even trying to be subtle about the real world advertising in this one.

I like how Team Rocket is sparkly during their motto this episode. the lines may be the same, but they’re always delivered slightly differently and the animation for their motto is always different. meaning Team Rocket’s motto isn’t just a cut-and-paste animation thing. their voice actors seriously said their lines every episode in little different ways and the animators seriously thought up of a new way for Team Rocket to pose and be animated during this sequence. thats more effort than most magical girl shows. there is no point to doing this. this serves no greater purpose. all this is just because they COULD. they could’ve easily just did the same goddamn animation and lines over and over again to save money, but instead they got creative with Team Rocket and made them do different poses and backgrounds each time they did their motto. thats what makes Team Rocket memorable: they switch up their motto even when its technically the same so that you don’t get bored with it. they say it so often that you start looking forward to what little changes are different this time.

wow, pokemon just evolve left and right in these early episodes don’t they? just without any explanation or fanfare, it just comes out of nowhere for plot reasons.

and of course, Ash catches Primeape! I actually like this, because Ash had to work for this capture. most of the team joined out of loyalty or friendship, and Crabby gone down because of a stick, Haunter….is somewhere else and I don’t actually joined at all, but Primeape? Primeape he actually caught fair and square.

wait I’m confused. Ash has seven pokemon by now. shouldn’t Primeape be sent to Oak’s now? but yeah, I like this episode, because it has PRIMEAPE in it. Primates are awesome, they are the berserker barbarians of pokemon world. it took the whole trio of starters to take Primeape down. but I think the writers are forgetting that Pidgeotto and/or Butterfree exist. they didn’t even come into play against Sabrina and now they didn’t participate with Primeape, worst, Oak still only has Crabby, so he would know if Ash sent Butterfree or Pidgeotto to him, so either the writers literally forgot one of those two pokemon existed- y’know THE FIRST TWO POKEMON ASH CAUGHT- or Ash is literally disobeying the rules during these episodes where he has Primeape or Haunter around by secretly having a seventh pokemon. Ash breaks so many rules that he should be disqualified from the Indigo League by now.


Episode 25: Deal with the Perfume Devil
The episode opens with Brock being lured to a shop full of girls.
Brock: My nose is like a hound when it comes to female hormones. Always sniffs out the best places to find girls.

people are suddenly turning against Ash because he doesn’t like perfume. what the hell. dude, its just perfume, let it go, not everyone likes weird scents. Ash has his opinion on them and you have no right to be forceful with him.

the hell, now people won’t let him in because of perfume!? DUDE. NOT COOL. I am starting to hate Erika now. because seriously, what the hell. Surge is a bully, Sabrina is an evil doll-maker, and Erika thinks perfumes are the greatest thing ever and anyone who doesn’t like them can’t challenge her!? KANTO GYM LEADERS ARE *****.

“I almost forgot! the cartoonists never gave me a nose!”- second fourth wall break of the series! Meowth is immune to stink. thats why we have hammers.

heheheheh, deal with the devil time! Team Rocket and Ash team up to get in the Celadon Gym! This cannot possibly go wrong! after all, its not as if Ash’s entire purpose will let their presence be known and get him kicked out again. oh right, they disguise him, better plan. still a stupid one though. I think Team Rocket is half doing this so that they can screw over Ash in the process, half to make him talk in a girl’s voice to humiliate him.

no, they’re just using him as a distraction. better hope that Erika doesn’t find out about how you made a deal with them, Ash!

PIKACHU WHAT THE HELL MAN, SOME LOYAL POKEMON YOU ARE!

now to face…ERIKA, FIFTH GYM LEADER OF THE INDIGO LEAGUE!

ok, starting with Bulbasaur, not a bad choice as he will be resistant to Erika’s attacks, but he will have to use attacks that are not Grass to make up for it, or this is just going to be a battle of attrition.

YES! Charmander. Best choice! aside from y’know. PIDGEOTTO! the flying type! seriously, I once used a single flying type in Sinnoh to defeat the entire Grass Gym there. but yeah, now things are gonna heat up, Fire always does well against grass.

WHAT. NO. NO. NO. ERIKA, YOU DON’T GET TO SAY THAT ASH DOES NOT HAVE EMPATHY WITH HIS POKEMON! he has had pokemon join him out of loyalty, he saves them, he treats them well, you don’t get to pretend as if your better than him just because of that stupid goddamn perfume thing! AUGH!

and Charmander because….plot. come on, Pidgeotto, come out and show them that flying types kick ass against Grass as well!

“poor Ash!”- **** YOU ERIKA.

“Pidgeotto couldn’t take that terrible smell”-YES. IT. COULD. PIDGEOTTO IS FLYING TYPE. SIMPLY BLOW IT AWAY. WITH WINGS. PIDGEOTTO HAS DONE THAT SORT OF THING BEFORE. PIDGEOTTO IS YOUR BEST OPTION. AGH.

and Ash gets badge because he rescued the Gloom from the fire. thats…. four out of five badges he did not get legitimately. its now episode 25, and we only have Three Gym Leaders left. either Indigo League is shorter than I thought, or there is going to be a lot of filler between one Gym or another.

oh making a deal with Team Rocket was a bad idea? YA THINK, ASH? really says something about the Gym Leader if somebody is willing to make a deal with their enemy to defy your jerkishness.

but yeah, I don’t really like this episode. sure, it gets across that loyalty and empathy thing, but Ash doesn’t really need that lesson, not even this early. it was showed in EPISODE FREAKING ONE that he cared for pokemon enough to give his life for them, we don’t need that shown again. Erika is just a jerk! a jerk that denies people from her Gym just because they don’t like perfume, screw her.

Episode 26: Again, Dark Types, Just Saying.
and we open on a town named Hop Hop Hop, and Ash gets mistaken for somebody else by somebody’s mother, and called “Arnold”…..

….this is going to be one of those WEIRD episodes isn’t it?

no….this is going to be an episode where I’m starting to realize that a pokemon is evil, that Brock is already starting to get more courageous in his advances, and that all this is going to bring up disturbing things about child kidnapping or something.

oh, child disappearances and sleeping pokemon, both start three days ago, and you only THINK they’re connected!? really?

so….Team Rocket is trying to capture a pokemon to get a vacation….weird.

so they’re being hypnotized into acting like pokemon as a side effect. huh.

“why didn’t we do this from the beginning?”
“we needed to fill a half hour.”- third time Team Rocket broke the fourth wall.

oh, so NOW you remember Pidgeotto exists and can be useful.

…..Arnold has BLUE hair, not black! how did this mother mistake Ash for him!?

and so much to her chagrin, Misty has a psyduck now! that will cause no end of pain for her as a psyduck, then evolve into a Golduck that will just become a second Brock during the Orange Islands. I think. the Golduck might be a completely different pokemon.


and yeah, I like episode 24 with the Primeape, but really there is no follow up on what happened to Haunter. it just...mysteriously vanishes and there is no word on whether Ash kept it, or whether it stayed with Sabrina, or if it just gone back to its tower in Lavender town, while Butterfree seems to be completely forgotten. and really, Butterfree will continue to be pretty much forgotten for the rest of the series, its Ash's least used pokemon aside from Pidgeotto, even though it was his first one he actually caught. and I don't like the trend of the Gym leaders all being either jerks or people who would get fired from their jobs- and Gym Leaders CAN get fired from their jobs, there is one episode where they have an inspector for that, so don't pretend as if there is no oversight for this.

[ThePhantom]

Haunter was never caught, so either with Sabrina or back to the tower. I didn't remember how often Ash didn't get his badges the normal way. Well, at least the next two will be done fairly, I think. Poor Pidgeotto, only really used to track Team Rocket and blown away their smokescreen.

[Shekinah]

I always thought Haunter was with Sabrina after the gym battle.

I love donuts that look like rice balls! Who doesn't?

I hate Erika. Dunno how she stays as gym leader if she turns people away because they don't accept perfume as their lord and savior.

[Traab]

You know, the way ash gets his badges might explain how the indigo championships go for him. Im pretty sure in the future leagues he tends to actually EARN his badges.

[Lord Raziere]

Haunter was never caught, so either with Sabrina or back to the tower. I didn't remember how often Ash didn't get his badges the normal way. Well, at least the next two will be done fairly, I think. Poor Pidgeotto, only really used to track Team Rocket and blown away their smokescreen.

oh your right. those are done fairly. but there are still um....how to say it....not approved by OSHA issues, y'know what I mean?
Episode 27: A Breeder Fanboy’s Dream Come True
So we open on Brock looking about frantically on a street called “Scissor Street” also known as “Breeder’s lane”
…..
he is looking for a brothel again isn’t he?

…..why is the poster of Team Rocket’s pokemon? aren’t they even a little suspicious, with how often Team Rocket pops up?

yup, predicted it. Team Rocket what scam is this? what scheme is giving pokemon makeovers? I can’t see it. yet.

aaaaand Brock is both hamstring by beautiful womanly charms AND idol worship. oh boy, here we go….

Brock……your poke nerd is showing…..and pokefanboy ness.

at least Brock knows enough about their arguments not to interfere. they just and come go, and doesn’t care if you try to stop them….

aaaannd….is it a scam. of course. revealed by Meowth because his a loudmouth. idiot.

I like how they fashionified their motto.

Misty you ungrateful whelp, Psyduck is the only reason they were able to rescue you.

and thats how Brock got Vulpix, rapidly starting his descent into belying his rock gym trainer roots.

from now they’re rivals? yeah. right. and then we never saw Susie again. Pokemon is filled with supposed rivals no one ever sees again. except possibly hundreds of episodes later, but by then, who remembers?

Episode 28: Primeape Balboa
and we open with Hitmonchan! I remember this episode. yeah, its time for Primeape again! unfortunately, Ash isn’t catching any pokemon this time….he is leaving one.

uh Brock…..Geodude is WEAK to fighting types….you might as well send out a Rattata and a Meowth next while wearing a “I’m a loser” cap.

I just noticed: this episode has no judges. no wonder Team Rocket gets away with their cheating in this episode: there is no one to judge this. its just people putting their pokemon into the ring. there are no literally no rules.

and of course Team Rocket goes blasting off with a good explosion thanks to Pikachu once again.

I like this episode really, even if Ash has technically LOST a pokemon because of it. its like, looking at pokemon battles that are not the usual type, it fleshes out the world in a way that isn’t just another Gym leader or something, its just one of those episodes I’ve always liked, one of those episodes that always stuck with me. sure, there are no real rules to the fights and such, and the original problem is solved 3/4’s of the way before Team Rocket is defeated, but…something about just makes it memorable to me, if I wanted to point to one of the good pokemon episodes, I think I would point to this one. I guess its how Ash wins the Primeape’s loyalty, how it talks about knowing when to throw in the towel, solving a problem that you could see any family having with the father obsessed with something and the daughter wanting him to spend time with his family again.

Episode 29: Grimer in Gringy City
oh I remember this one. Gringy City. this is one of the dark episodes, as in it occurs at night. also one of the iconic episodes for me for some reason.

Pikachu is ill for some reason

wow, Meowth your a jerk.

and asleep? what, curfew only exists in Maiden’s Peak?

and they call up Nurse Joy…who says that Pikachu has a cold! heheh, in other words you could say that it is a Pik-Achoo! *is shot*

Ash: “are you by chance the oddball in your family?”
Joy: “No its all my other relatives that are odd.”
….I’m just as confused as Ash on this one.

and now the power is out, and they need to get it back on to keep pokemon in intensive care from dying. this episode IS dark. also, Jessie and James are suffocating, if you don’t believe me on that

“big building with the smokestacks over there.”-….Jenny, thats EVERY SINGLE BUILDING IN GRINGY CITY!!! NARROW IT DOWN A LITTLE! Jennies are useless…

…..a weapon that is self proof….is kind of stupid to make…..because you can’t wield it…

and we meet the magnemite! I like magnemites. They’re just…..such a cool pokemon. its like, the first evidence we have that pokemon are not purely animalistic or something. or at least, the first evidence I remember. its a ball with a two magnets on it. its simple, but its another…how to say…memorable part of pokemon. you don’t get to see anything like magnemite anywhere else. I’d go so far as to say, that pokemon like magnemite is one of the vital parts of pokemon, you can’t have pokemon without it somewhere. can’t imagine pokemon without it.

uhh…..don’t you guys have pokemon other than pikachu? they’re right in your pokeballs y’know….what last chance!? unless you left all your pokemon at the center….then why would you guys DO THAT. in a world where everything is pokemon related no less! argh!

but I do like the reveal that Magnemite are attracted to others because of their magnetic force like animals are attracted to scents. its a nice piece of world building and real creative. I like this episode because its not just a pollution is bad thing aesop, because magnemite represents technology to me, while grimer represents pollution, and to me says that we need technology to fight against the pollution of nature even if technology is what caused it in the first place. again, I’d consider this one of the better episode of pokemon even if the logical problem of why they consider pikachu their last hope is kind of weird.

also I realized that Team Rocket never showed up again in this episode. oh well. oh, there they are.

heheheheh, and Ash sends Muk to Oak. I bet he did it as a form of petty revenge or something “hey look Gary! TRY TO CATCH A BIGGER MUK! AAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

so yeah, of these three episodes, the breeder one is kinda meh, but the two ones after it are like, two of the episodes I like the most. Primeape got his spotlight, sure I wish Primeape could've had more screen time but....I guess it great for him to go out on a high note. and the whole episode in Gringy City is one of the episodes I like the most even if it has the logical problem of why they don't just send out their other pokemon because well....Magnemite. its just one of the coolest pokemon ever made, even compared to later generation pokemon. and while I am bit bored by the breeder episode, even it has the introduction of the ever cute Vulpix. sidenote: I wonder how related Eevee and Vulpix are? because they look and grow real similar now that I think about it.

Edit @ Traab: nope! actually Ash loses the Indigo League for a completely different reason than not actually earning the Badges, but one that is completely preventable and can be seen coming a mile away.

[ThePhantom]

I remember these episodes, they were fun. The fashion was good silly fun and the others a bit more drama.

[Lord Raziere]

yeah, those really were good episodes of pokemon, can say the same for the last of the next three, but not the two before it:

Episode 30: Gary Shwarzeneggar Plays It Safe.
several months eh? not even counting anymore, got it, we are now entering the no time zone, from which this anime will never escape. oh time it was fun while it lasted, now for nothing but forever repeating the same thing over and over again….

Diglett? I think I remember something about this episode. isn’t Gary in it?

Ash, you kind of still are a loser. I mean, the other trainers all apparently are still ahead of you, they’ve caught more pokemon…its going to be a while before you stop being one. granted your LESS of a loser now, but while negative 11 is better than negative 50, its still negative.

“My name is Ash Ketchum The Loser From Pallet Town.”- Truer Words have never been spoken.

hmm, I estimate about….130 pokemon trainers are there, so about…..810 pokemon are there. approx. thats quite a catch, Team Rocket.

I like how Team Rocket is catching on to their own failure. nothing they EVER do works, and they know it. they still do it because they’re Team Rocket.

oh god, Gary is one of THOSE nerds, the kind that corrects people when they’re being rhetorical and inspiring by going “the term “mole pokemon” would be more accurate” he just needs glasses to push up the bridge of his nose while snorting to complete the image.

and then Gary tries to show off, only for his pokemon to not come out. I don’t get it, how does pokemon know what is happening outside their pokeballs?

and look the construction worker is playing whack-a-mole with the Diglett!

“ASTA LA VISTA POKEPEOPLE”- Gary Mother****ing Shwarzeneggar.

……?!? Pokemon just…..have this stupid sixth sense for nature where humans don’t I guess. ok.

…..yeah, I don’t like this episode. its just the pokemon somehow knowing more than humans for no reason about things and just automatically being right. what is even the point of it? Gary was right to get out before this stupid “lesson” occurred. because its so nonsensical, that it makes Gary look sensible.

Episode 31: At Least Koga Doesn’t Have a Ninetales
lost as usual, Team Ash?

Ash, your ENTERING the Fuchsia Gym. your directions would be “right here, dumbass.”

and the trend of each and every Gym leader being evil or a **** continues with the Fuchsia Gym allowing people to throw shuriken around willy-nilly and trap people in ways that could potentially kill them. greeeaaaat.

Bulbasaur? Hm. Ash, I think you have chosen…poorly. or perhaps not. what works, works.

and we finally find out that this is the Fuchsia Gym! and apparently we’re not allowed to leave until you beat or battle him, I don’t remember which.

now to face….KOGA! SIXTH GYM LEADER OF THE INDIGO LEAGUE!

and we start off already with more bull**** evolution out of nowhere into Venomoth. great.

Charmander! Good choice!

Team Rocket interferes, Psyduck suddenly goes badass, whatever.

what matters is that Ash got his second legitimate Badge! yay.

thing is, this is episode 31. six badges have been gotten. only two badges remain. so, where does the other half of the season come from?

Episode 32: Majestic Rapidash Charge Of Glory
Welcome to the Safari Zone! always one of the most fun parts of pokemon, trying to catch pokemon with just pokeballs, some rocks and bait. no wait, not Safari zone…

ye gods, Brock, you get more and more blunt around girls the longer this goes on. I think Maiden’s Peak did something to your head.

Dario….. guy looks a lot like a second Gary Oak. only without the awesome. I dunno, the guy just reminds me of him so much for some reason. farm boy Gary Oak, why so fail?

and yeah, he is in with Team Rocket to make sure he wins through cheating, and now Ash has to ride Ponyta.

heh, Pikachu is riding Squirtle for some reason. why.

Electrode takes the lead, then falls in a hole and fails.

and of course, the big finale where Ponyta becomes Rapidash, and I like this ending, because its an appropriate evolution, its not random, its an evolution right when its needed, its an awesome evolution for an awesome moment to pull ahead and win the race.

and overall, I like this episode, because partly I’m a sucker for racing episodes. there is just something about things going really fast that makes things awesome. but really its all about a pokemon learning to trust somebody and soon become better for it. again, this is one of the better episodes of pokemon, I’d say. its another one of those episodes where it fleshes things out and provides a different plot to use while demonstrating all the different ways Pokemon can participate in society.

so yeah, another bad environmental episode, another Gym leader that while legitimately won, demonstrated questionable safety in his Gym, and then an awesome episode and evolution out of nowhere.

and now I hope your patient, cause we won't be revisiting the Gym Leader thing for about oh, thirty more episodes give or take. thats right, instead of being spaced out evenly, most of Ash's Badge quest is accomplished in the first 30 episodes or so, then spends the next 30 episodes just having random adventures which going by the first 30 episodes rate, could've used to earn all those badges twice over. I don't even know why, Ash just seems to earn Badge after Badge at a running pace then....slows to a slugs crawl getting around to earning the seventh. pacing? whats that?

[Shekinah]

Koga's a weird dude. I get his motif, but considering that poison-type Pokemon in first gen don't scream "assassin" (with the exception of Beedrill), it just doesn't work for me.

[Lord Raziere]

but.....isn't the point of being an assassin.....to have an appearance that doesn't scream assassin? because stealth?

but no, Koga's ninja/assassin motif doesn't work for different reasons: namely that any hypothetical lord or ruler in this world would hire a pokemon expert because pokemon are everywhere and are dangerous, and one of their duties would be pokemon-based security, which would include knowing all about poison types who could y'know, potentially poison the ruler, and poison types tend not to be subtle, in generation one they ALL are basically painted purple: Venonat? purple. Venomoth? purple. Arbok, Weezing, Grimer, Muk? PURPLE! outside Gen 1, we have: Swalot, Skuntank, Seviper, Gliscor, Venipede, Dustox, all purple, and those are just ones I can name off the top of my head. any hypothetical ninja using poison pokemon, would encounter the fatal flaw of poison types, in that the pokemon expert upon seeing that the pokemon is purple, immediately assume it to be a poison type, because due the trend its not an unreasonable assumption to think so and take the necessary steps whether its actually poisonous or not.

I mean even a poke-caveman could tell you that. speaking of cavemen.....

Episode 33: Savannah Bull-Kangaroo Tarzan
and we open with….Jenny arresting Team Ash for pokemon poaching….even though she was the one wearing the Chancey hat that Ash was going to try to catch, and he didn’t actually commit any crime yet. JENNIES. USELESS.

you didn’t do anything, you don’t have to make up for anything, JENNY JUST HAS TO WARN YOU, NOT FREAKING ARREST YOU. AAAAAAGH.

oh and another reason I dislike this episode: the little caveman jungle-kangaskhan kid. for some reason I just don’t like this character. also, the fact that his parents are ****ing idiots.

……there are addresses in the safari?

also, Kangaskhan doesn’t make sense as a pokemon, because it doesn’t evolve from anything, even though it is shown clearly having children. the young really should be its own pokemon.

oh god. you idiots, don’t go near the baby kangaskhan. that will only lead to bad things.

….so….they solve his memory by hitting him on the head? CHILD ABUSE IN THE HEAD: IT SOLVES ALL MEMORY PROBLEMS!

is there any reason not to hate this Tommy person? just…speaks like a caveman for no reason and is just so cliched….and ugh.

and then they beat Team Rocket and the parents decide to stay with the goddamn kangaskhan. AAAAGH. NO PARENT ACTS THIS WAY. HOPE YOU LIKE YOUR LACK OF PLUMBING, HYGIENE, GOOD HOME AND MEDIA. Years later, they all die from catching a disease in the wild easily preventable by modern hospitals, then some poacher comes along and easily kills all the kangaskhan for their hides and mounts the biggest ones head on his wall as a trophy.

is there any wonder I don’t like this episode at best? at worst, I hate it. Its ****ing back to nature caveman/tarzan bull**** that only idiots think is a good way to live. even Hunter-Gatherers have more of a society than this. I think. but yeah, that arrangement won’t last. Love is not an all-powerful force of acceptance, its an all-powerful force of possessiveness. what would really happen is that the parents would take him back by force and re-educate him in the ways of humanity again because of their love. and I would whole-heartedly support it. I admit it: I am biased towards civilization. its ****ing awesome. thats why we built it.

Episode 34: The Old Man and the Dratini
huh, another banned episode, I’m going to watch the sub this time, see how pokemon is when its actually japanese. the opening theme is definitely different and places an entire different emphasis, the friends thing is more central while the master thing takes a secondary position in contrast to the dub. still prefer the dub though.

aaaah, so this is why it was banned: a guy threatens Team Ash with a gun. Repeatedly. As a joke. I like this episode already.

and apparently this guy denies ever having a Dratini. and what would Oak know about this, he is a professor, not a genius who knows everything.

Ash makes a deal with Team Rocket: if he wins, Team Rocket leaves. if they win, they get all of Ash’s pokemon. this is so idiotic that it automatically ruins the episode right there. there is no point to this. Ash is just an idiot. I hate protagonists who make stupid bets like these for no reason.

and Ash catches…a Tauros! and another Tauros….

…..Jessie your literally holding a gun, just shoot him. but I guess sending out pokemon is just reflex at this point. and see? Team Rocket never plays fair. playing fair is for suckers, too bad they’re in a universe that doesn’t make sense.

and aaaaaw, the Dratini is so cute. too bad it eventually evolves into Dragonite. Dragonites are just fatter more docile Charizards. Charizard minus awesome. they should’ve come up with a better final evolution for Dragonair.

it also includes Ash drowning while holding a bomb to himself. dark.

and aaaaaaw, it includes meeting the Dragonair and its Dratini child. how cute.

and Ash……caught 30 Tauros. only Ash, loser that he is would pull that off.

I like this episode. a stupid bet almost made it bad, but the ending saved it. I like how Dragonite doesn’t even enter into the picture. because seriously, why the Dragonite? screw Dragonites, if I ever get a Dratini, I’m evolving them to Dragonair then giving them an Everstone.

Episode 35: Don’t Other Pokemon Exist Or Something?
….and we open with Ash doing his “jungle jones” impression, complete with “watch out for that tree!” bit.

and then:
Pikachu: oh hey a cute pikachu girl, finally! Time for this Pikachu to get some today!

and then the other Pikachu are like:
OUTSIDER! SHUN THE TRAINERCHU! (I’m just calling Ash’s pikachu the trainerchu from now on)

Trainerchu: whaaaaaat? come on, no one wants to join my pika-harem? now I’ll never get to be the world’s greatest harem master! oh hey, sniffing me! cool, now they’ll accept me, and soon I’ll catch my first harem member!

and then Ash comes in:
Trainerchu: dude! don’t cockblock me!

ASH. USE BULBASAUR. NOT HARD.

ok impressive tail use but, seriously, Bulbasaur, perfect time for him to be helpful. but noooooooooo

um Team Rocket…..why not just wait for Team Ash to be gone, then catch all the wild Pikachu? but here is the thing: there is no law against using pokeballs, so why not just cheat the system: your pokeballs are sent back to the place where you get your pokedex right? so, just steal a pokedex, reverse engineer the entire pokeball teleportation system so that you can set up your own underground teleportation system, then just start catching pokemon with pokeballs. the pokemon get sent back to wherever you set it up, like say, Team Rocket HQ where the boss can use whatever pokemon are caught, and it looks legit while you do it! no one will ever know the difference between you and ordinary trainers. just think! the authorities have already done all the work of making a foolproof legal system to capture pokemon and store them where no one sees you just have to exploit it to your gain! technically its not even illegal! but that will never happen, even though that would totally be the best scheme for Team Rocket ever, a scheme that they are totally capable of- they make a bunch of wonderful inventions already, I think they can reverse engineer something someone else made.

….yes….having fun swaying hypnotically to themselves while singing a weird song….cult?

um guys. you have pokemon other than pikachu. you can use them. easily. you have used them before. not hard.

and so Ash decides to say goodbye to pikachu because he wants him to be happy….yeah this won’t last. Pikachu will rejoin him. Ash is just being an emotional idiot.

skip through the stupid flashback sequence…

but really I like this episode. Ash while not the brightest or winner-est of people, does care for the people around him and would rather put Pikachu’s happiness above his own, but Pikachu keeps going with him anyways. again, that bond of loyalty thing. problems with this episode is that people don’t seem to remember that pokemon other than pikachu exist to y’know…

so yeah. these three episodes.... one is pure miss, the other two are a mix of hit and miss. just really, child Tarzan? just.....why. the other two episodes could've been better if Ash didn't make the deal and Team Ash remembered that other pokemon aside from Pikachu even existed.

[Mystic Muse]

http://fc01.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2011/110/a/7/a7664a8623c588eb916f584c5d5b8b3c-d3egfkv.png It's not perfect, but here's a better dragonite evolution that somebody came up with. Too bad it's not the official one, since it'd make more sense.

[Shekinah]

Gah, yeah, you said it way better, Raziere. At 3 A.M. and with a sore throat, I wasn't able to explain as clearly. Everything being purple thanks to poison tips off that the user is using poison-type mons. I still think Beedrill would make an awesome choice, though. No one expects a bee sting to be fatal if they aren't allergic, but when you add ninja-style poisons? Yer dead, Jim.

The Dratini episode is incredibly sweet. The ending where the old man sees that his Dratini evolved into a Dragonair and had a child of her own is like a father seeing his child after a long time and discovering he's now a grandfather. It's heartwarming.

[Traab]

Man you have some SERIOUS issues with dragonite. You should probably talk to a professional.

[ThePhantom]

Well, the kangaskhan episode has some issues, but I like for the giant robot Team Rocket had. They do learn somewhat from their mistakes, since their pokemon can't beat Ash and company, get something bigger and tougher. When you think about all the robots they make, they must be pretty good engineers.

[Traab]

Or have really deep expense accounts for requisitioning team rocket gear.

"Hey boss! We cant beat this one trainer who has a sweet collection of pokemon, can you send us that new robot R&D were talking about?"

/sigh "Fine, let us know how it performs so we can make the next version stronger."

[Lord Raziere]

@ Mystic: yeah, if only.....


Man you have some SERIOUS issues with dragonite. You should probably talk to a professional.

I'm sorry, but my preferences are not a psychological flaw.

I'll explain in detail why Dragonite is a bad evolution for Dragonair:

1. They don't look related.
But Raziere! You say. lots of pokemon in evolutions don't look related, especially dragon types! why just look at Bagon, Shelgon and Salamance! or Trapinch, Vibrava, and Flygon! yea but here is the thing: see Bagon's upper white ridges on its head? yeah, the shell probably grow out from that, while the blue skin connects it to Salamance! while Trapinch at least evolves into something completely different the first time around! the Vibrava then evolves into something that looks similar to it. and really these two things just convince me that Dragons have some relation to Bug types in pokemon-world due to how their evolutions work, or at least Butterfree or the Wurmple evolution line.

but Dragonite? its just orange fat Charizard out of nowhere for no reason! they didn't even keep the blue! it would be like Charmeleon evolving into Salamance or something, or Bayleef evolving into Serperior! there is no just logic, rhyme or reason to the change! If I want a powerful classic dragon, I already have Salamance that knows Draco Meteor, and if I ever want something a little weirder, I have a Hydreigon for that, and as of Alpha Sapphire, I have a Milotic to tide me over until I can get a Dragonair to keep as a Dragonair. yes I like Dragon types, don't worry, I also caught a few Fairy types, Sylveon is cute after all...

2. Fat Charizard, Really?
Look at this picture:
http://img4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130307145018/es.pokemon/images/1/10/EP778_Charizard_vs_Dragonite.png

I didn't even need to get two pictures to compare these two side by side, because Charizard and Dragonite are so similar, that there are a bunch of pictures coming up on the google search "Charizard Vs. Dragonite" without me even specifically typing that in, its just one of recommended things that came up in relation to Dragonite. and look! Orange skin, green inner wings, rivalry with other dragons, Dragonite is fat Charizard! which just makes me wonder why it was needed to make Dragonite a Fat Charizard. especially in the original 150, when you need to make the pokemon as different as possible and don't have the excuse of taking an earlier generational concept and then reimagining it in a new way for a new region! so you have a pokemon that looks nothing like the pokemon it evolved from, but a lot like a certain other pokemon that its supposedly completely unrelated to! and all this super-mystical whatevers about it being super-intelligent or whatnot doesn't change the fact that in battle its just fat charizard with a dragon type instead of fire, which is what the games are about. so really, there is no point to Dragonite's existence, it could be filled by another Charizard in any manner you deem fit without much change, well maybe aside from the lighthouse episode, but even then that has a logical problem of why doesn't THAT episode use something more appropriate like Lugia, or if thats too late, how about Articuno or something? but then again we had Ho-oh show up even earlier, so why we used Dragonite instead of Lugia, I have no idea.

3. Cuteness Incentive to Not Evolve
there are just some pokemon despite all intentions, you don't want to evolve because they are so cute as they are. I'll explain more in episode 39, which I will be posting right now, because it has the crowning example of this Cuteness Incentive:

Episode 36: Imitation Brand Imitation
oh, the ditto episode. I don’t remember what happens in this at all! lets see what does.

the real one loses because the Ditto used better tactics. duh.

and then they imitate Team Rocket’s motto and Team Rocket is insulted by it. heheheheheh…

I like how the Team Rocket was like “ok we’ll do it your way- PSYCHE!”

and yeah….Team Rocket, actually good for something. who knew.

not much to comment on this episode. its Ditto. its useful in so many ways, particularly for breeding. there are just some pokemon you can’t get without hatching from eggs. which means that Ditto is the perfect lover for all pokemon. its the REAL Harem-Master of all pokemon

Episode 37: Where Digimon Came From.
Yet another banned episode. sigh. I dislike these actually. because I either must hunt for the dub version at low qualities or go with the japanese version, and they just don’t have the same feel because the theme song is different….hope these are the only ones….

something about the episode banned because inducing seizures in children due to certain lights? well I’m 21, so I’m betting I’m safe.

wow, there is so much wrong about computers here, that I don’t know where to start. should I point out how Brock and Ash think the computer has caught an actual disease? or how the tech guy claims that the computer can’t get infected because of “advanced circuits”? just so much wrong…

and the science is just so wrong, that well….we’ve left real science behind. its mad science. TIME FOR A DIGI-PULP ADVENTURE EVERYBODY!

so, the scientist is basically digitizing them against their will to go fight Team Rocket….now the scientists in this world are jerks/evil to. GREAT.

……and yeah. after that its just like, whatever. its just meh. I looked up the date for this episode came out and when Digimon came out, Digimon came out two years after this did, so Pokemon did the Digimon thing two years before Digimon. so, hope you Digimon fans like having your childhood shattered, cause Digimon is nothing but this episode turned into a show premise.

Episode 38: REPEAT?
??? the pikachu forest episode again? SKIP! also, Episode 21 repeated as well, so…. if I’m missing some actual episodes, let me know ok?

Episode 39: Mikey, Future Espeon Trainer
Eevee? ah, its the Eevee episode. the debut of one of the cutest most awesome pokemon ever and its first three evolutions.

and of the course the three brothers are ***** to the little brother who doesn’t want to evolve Eevee- and really thats the creators own fault. its hard to imagine why anyone would want to evolve Eevee when the way Eevee already is de-incentivizes evolving it. I mean sure the evolutions are cool, but Eevee is so cute that I half want to use an Everstone on it to keep it cute and cuddly. which defies the entire purpose of Eevee’s.

this is that same “pokemon don’t need evolution to be awesome” aesop. Pikachu of course will reject the thunderstone and keep being pikachu because its cute. really, I think the creators screwed up on making a lot of the younger pokemon cuter and their evolutions less cute and not optional. they should’ve made all the cute small pokemon unable to evolve and all the bigger ones completely different pokemon, or maybe just make evolving optional. truly optional, not this constant upkeep thing you have to do or waste an everstone on.

and yeah, evolution is not what pokemon are all about. while cool, it can have its downsides. like the aforementioned cuteness loss.

maybe your not offering the guy the right options? like, what if he wants an Espeon or Umbreon? perhaps a Glaceon, or a Leafeon? or, most recently, if you want to preserve as much cuteness as possible, a Sylveon?

and Team Rocket comes to the party…..mostly to eat, but partly to try and steal their pokemon. I like how they’re polite enough to let Team Rocket eat their fill. also, how Team Rocket was smart enough to make their balloon a distraction instead of their real escape.

Eevee trainer huh? well, thats probably going get you an Umbreon or an Espeon due to high friendship stuff, depending on when you level him up. unless you Everstone.

“you have big mouth grasshopper, but little sense”- Brock, wise master on women. to a point at least.

but yeah, just look! Eevee! its so cute that you half desire to keep it as is! even though the entire point of Eevee's is to evolve! same with Dragonair. its so beautiful, that I honestly question why evolve it into a fat Charizard, when I could just.....get a freaking Charizard if I want an orange flying lizard of awesome, instead of my blue flying lizards of awesome. or my green flying lizard of awesome, or my legendary black and white flying lizards of epicness, or their super-fusion ice brother.

Edit @ Traab: nah, the whole "Team Rocket just calls up Giovanni for the inventions" doesn't hold water, because they keep coming up with inventions even when Giovanni kicks them out of the official Team Rocket organization in Johto. personally I think Jessie, Jame and Meowth are just minor reality warpers.

[Traab]

Iirc, there are a few episodes where they actually DO directly chat with the boss about getting some help or whatever their plans are. He really doesnt like them much, understandable really, they have been chasing one damn pokemon for all this time and failing every single chance they get. Kinda hurts the team rocket reputation.

As for your dragonite hatred, yeah, I get the reasons you dont like it. Im just saying the sheer depth of your loathing is worrisome.

For some reason, the ditto episode was always stuck in my head. I mean, im not even sure WHY, its just one of a list that keeps mentally repeating in my head.

[Durkoala]

As far as Dragonite goes, it's partly art evolution: compare early pikachu proportions to the current pikachu proportions. Dragonite looked a lot more like Dragonair orginally, but the designs for a lot of pokémon were changed over time. This is generally a good thing, because some pokémon were just wrong (that non-dragonite is an Exeggcutor), but the dragonite design lost a lot of it's similarity to Dragonair.

http://cdn.bulbagarden.net/upload/f/ff/Spr_1g_149.png
http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mdg56ndAM31qm1zin.png

[Lord Raziere]

Iirc, there are a few episodes where they actually DO directly chat with the boss about getting some help or whatever their plans are. He really doesnt like them much, understandable really, they have been chasing one damn pokemon for all this time and failing every single chance they get. Kinda hurts the team rocket reputation.

As for your dragonite hatred, yeah, I get the reasons you dont like it. Im just saying the sheer depth of your loathing is worrisome.

For some reason, the ditto episode was always stuck in my head. I mean, im not even sure WHY, its just one of a list that keeps mentally repeating in my head.

its not really hate. its dislike. I wouldn't want any Dragonites to die or anything, I just think they could've been better done, they could've at least been made blue. a pokemon I HATE is Stunfisk. why? because its a pokemon that makes Magikarp and Feebas look cool by comparison. Magikarp and Feebas at least have their evolutions going for them, but Stunfisk is a just a flat ugly fish that nobody likes, that stares blankly in an eternal derpface up into the sky. Stunfisk! Why......just.....why......

Episode 40: The Big Snorlaxsbi
“greetings children of the universe”-oh god no, they met a hippy! All is doomed! worse: beggar hippie. even Team Rocket doesn’t give this guy the time of day.

and an entire town without food, so they investigate and of course….find the Snorlax. I remember this episode. Snorlax is a chill pokemon. too bad he is sleeping in the wrong place.

and they use a lot of stupid cartoonish attempts to wake Snorlax. but nope. nothing wakes Snorlax. he is chill like that.

wait what, Misty actually says the poke flute guy is a hippie. huh. I was actually right. I was just making a joke.

huh, apparently the hippie has more than one Snorlax to look after. makes sense. but say, doesn’t Ash capture a Snorlax at some point?

Episode 41: Joy Draws The Line At Street Fighting.
Man, ten episodes, this is the longest run of episodes we have had without a Gym leader. also, Misty can’t mentioned her bike since…Episode 11. yeah. I think she forgot about it somewhere between the shipwreck, getting a Horsea, Psyduck and saving a town from a giant Tentacruel.

an we come in to Dark City. oh I remember this one. sorta.

and Pikachu shocks a bunch of little kids for a small slight! you mean more than he usually does?

and two Gyms are battling it out for some reason, and really are we surprised? all the other Gyms haven’t been all that great either.

heh, they literally come up with food pseudonyms so that their rep is safe. good thinking.

huh, the Scyther seems go berserk when it sees red…

ah, so Gym leaders DO make the big bucks. I was right. No wonder Brock could support such a family.

Ash you were almost cool, but then the universe decided to slap you back down to being a loser with ketchup. and thus all is right with the world.

you did come up with a good plan for showing these two Gyms that what-for though.

and so it turns out that Nurse Joy is the pokemon inspector! Where were you when Sabrina was turning people into dolls? or when Erika was turning away people because of perfume? or when Koga designed a Gym that could kill people? guess they weren’t out in the open like Kas and Yas, so no way to know.

overall this episode is….mixed. on one hand, I actually like how Ash was able to solve things and actually inspire people to do better. on the other hand, I don’t like how they couldn’t exactly explain how pokemon battles are different from street fighting. I guess its the controlled setting thing? like, pokemon battles always make sure to pick somewhere where it won’t damage other peoples homes and are thus safer and such? like they have rules. this “don’t fight each other” message is confusing when its a series all about fighting, which I will revisit in the movie.

Episode 42: So Long, And Thanks For All The Exeggcutor.
No, I will not stop trying to put a Hitchhikers Guide joke into something every time there is a 42. I am a reference artiste, dammit.

don’t remember this one at all. I don’t think I’ve seen this episode, cool!

so Misty must help this magician get his act good. for Las Vegas. again with the real world references. hm. Kanto weirdness.

“I’ll help you. but just for today.”- Smart, Misty.

huh, Misty actually looks pretty good in that Goldeen dress

the almost burns down the carnival. what a bad act.

“he just doesn’t know what he is doing. you can relate to that”- OH! MISTY! for a water pokemon trainer, you drop pretty sick burns! Ow! Ash, your not coming back from that one for a while. and you were making such great progress towards not being a loser!

“Ash does say some things right once in a while”- yes. only once in a while. still not a compliment, more like a backhanded insult.

…..why….how is Team Rocket lounging in sun, on top of their hot air balloon? thats kind of insane. but then again, Team Rocket tries to capture Pikachu repeatedly and expect a different result from getting beaten so….they know all about insanity.

uuuuuhh…..magician dude….your exploiting Ash as a slave……now I’m getting creeped out…. free will man, what the hell.

and woooow, Melvin in one episode is already a better criminal than Team Rocket. He hypnotizes Ash, catches all this Exeggcutor legit by making Ash weaken them first, probably so that his new herd of Exeggcutor can now do a mass hypnosis kind of thing. just goes to show how much Team Rocket sucks: a guy new at this, finds more success at getting pokemon and crime than them!

uh, Team Rocket. you idiots. you should be recruiting Melvin. he is literally going to hypnotize everyone to see his show. he is already doing this better than you, shove off.

oh come on man, just order the Exeggcutor to hypnotize Team Rocket, your the person in power here.

aaaaaaah, so this is the episode where Charmander evolves into Charmeleon. great. now its going to be a ****.

aaaaand, um…..we’re just going to forgive Melvin for hypnotizing Ash and trying an evil scheme to make everyone see his show then? ok. yet another evil dude let loose upon the world….

yeah, I enjoyed the Snorlax episode, but the warring town episode is getting into one of the weirder parts of pokemon- its constant focus on peace aesops when its all about fighting, and we will come back to that when I post up my LW of Mewtwo Strikes Back, but for now lets focus on how Team Ash once again forgives someone for almost destroying an entire town and committing something blatantly evil for their own selfish gain, oh and how Charmeleon is already beginning to become that stupid jerk Charizard that will only prove to be a thorn in Ash's side down the road. Yeah. your good people, but you guys got to learn when to be firm with people. like, getting your Charmeleon disciplined and when to punish somebody for being evil and selfish.

[ThePhantom]

I think Charmeleon and Charizard issue is that they technically belonged to another trainer first, so they count as traded pokemon. The writers were showing off that mechanic off in the anime. Yah, and I'm not fond of 42, it just really bugged me. The other two were ok, but 42 was just wrong.

[Mystic Muse]

Which would have worked better if Ash didn't already have 6 badges. Going by the way the original game worked, all pokemon he owns of up to level 70, even traded ones, should obey Ash. Even with just Erika's badge, he should have all pokemon of up to level 50 obeying him, and Charmeleon evolves into Charizard at level 36.

[Shekinah]

I always thought it was Charmeleon not being impressed with Ash as a trainer, given its love for a challenge according to the Pokedex and Ash being, at best, lackluster in that regard.

[Lord Raziere]

every time Ash needs to save Pikachu, he pretty much disregards all safety and jumps into danger himself, heck I think there are times he does so for other pokemon as well, I'm pretty sure you need some bravery to go riding around a horse with a flaming mane, oh and lets not forget that Ash by this point has survived a ship sinking, chased a PRIMEAPE just for some stupid hat, and took it upon himself to stop two Gyms from destroying a town. if none of that screams "CHALLENGE" I'm a magikarp. Charmeleon is a jerk because evolution made it jerk, it got along fine with Ash when it was Charmander, but then it became Charmeleon and got this stupid attitude that its somehow too good FOR THE PERSON WHO SAVED HIS LIFE. and that Charmander obeyed him back when he only had two Badges, stuck with him through the other four, and now suddenly he decides to be a jerk just because he evolves? oh and it doesn't stop, he keeps being a jerk through the other two badges after this and beyond! to the point where well, you'll see. you'll see.

Episode 43: Springtime for Paras
We open with Meowth getting sick and a girl curing him, thus Meowth falls in love with her….kay.

Brock: maybe we can have dinner together and perhaps….mix some potions, what do you say?
Girl: how about a pokemon battle instead?
Ash: cool!
Brock: dammit, Ash don’t cockblock me with your pokemon!

third time is not the charm! Charmeleon is a **** and trounces Paras easily. the thing must be level 1 or something.

hm, Meowth might actually be weak enough to give Paras a fair fight…

and Meowth convinces Jessie and James to go along with this. Careful Meowth, don’t want to get that girl arrested for Pokephilia…

and losing battles is their specialty? haha! right you are, there Meowth! hopefully those two will get the job done! ok they sorta got that job done…

“if the trainer is poor, the pokemon won’t respect him and won’t obey orders”- or y’know. evolution just makes you a ****. Ash has the Marsh Badge, so a simple Charmeleon should be obedient to him. unless that Charmeleon is level freaking 71….or he is just that much of a loser.

yeah, Ash probably is that much of a loser, what with his strongest pokemon going down in one poke to a Paras. anyways, that wraps that episode, and of course, Meowth doesn’t get anything, because the universe likes to make Team Rocket losers slightly more than Ash.

Episode 44: Scribble Face Prankster Lullaby
and suddenly they are in a desert. hm. and to Neon Town. aka, pokevegas.

jiggly…? oh crap. that pokemon. and thus starts the running gag of Jigglypuff….

ah, wtf, suddenly there is a forest now. how? does it turn to desert at night? is it one of those gate town situated between two completely different terrains? is geography just evil and constantly changing in this world?

heh,Team Rocket knows what will happen. unfortunately, Team Ash doesn’t. I think if they knew, they wouldn’t be so quick to help the Jigglypuff…

and why is Jigglypuff a jerk to Pikachu?? perhaps jealous of its singing voice?

and apparently Jigglypuff doesn’t like people falling asleep during its performance…even though her performance is a lullaby…..yeah, this is why we get Jigglypuff as a running gag: because Jigglypuff goes wandering the world searching for people who will stay awake through her performance to hear the whole song….and then scribbles on peoples face when they don’t.

Neon Town!? that won’t work. that will just make the town fall asleep!

what, that guy was barely jerk, kinda rude at worst.

cool, Team Rocket? make sure you have ear plugs yeah?

and, it doesn’t work, everyone just falls asleep, and Jigglypuff scribbles on the face of every single person in town.

ok, I know there are episodes where Jigglypuff appears again. I think they might be in Johto….might also be earlier, who knows.

Episode 45: Ungrateful Fire Lizard
don’t remember this episode though. this is new to me.

oh hey, Gary Oak! your back! yay, more awesome jerkishness!

oh crap, the Jigglypuff is still following them. and it has converted its marker into a hybrid mic while in transition…maybe it stole the thing from Neon City?

ha! Gary gets the losing prize for once. congrats Gary, you got fossilized manure.

and of course, they stupidly run towards the fuse, trying to put it out….only to fall in and encounter a bunch of REAL prehistoric pokemon. just their luck. oh and Charmeleon decides not to listen to Ash because its a jerk now. thanks a lot, your really helping THE GUY WHO SAVED YOUR LIFE out. ungrateful pokemon

and Misty finally mentions her bike again! she still remembers! her memory is more resistant than I thought!

and of course, Aerodactyl comes in, now your really screwed.

and finally, doth the Charmeleon become Charizard, and is now even more of an uncontrollable jerk. sigh. but at least he stays awake long enough to rescue Ash, thats good. now I remember this episode.

…..is that….is…..yup….thats the Togepi egg. it just….appears out of nowhere because Ash lands next to it. no explanation at all. sigh.

But yeah, these two episodes are important. one is about both discovering the Togepi egg (how did it wind up in an archeological dig anyways?) and the first appearance of Charizard, and the one before it, about how Jigglypuff first comes onto the stage to eternally be a cute little running gag of sleepy doom because she can't just I don't know, find some pokemon with the Insomnia ability and sing to that forever. and we love her for it.

[Traab]

I always took the charizard thing as pokepuberty. Now he is an arrogant teenager who thinks he is so badass that he doesnt have to listen to anyone anymore. Ash should have had pikachu kick his ass a few times to remind him of the pecking order. And dont tell me pikachu wouldnt win, he has taken down rock pokemon, more highly evolved electric pokemon, and just about everything else he has gone up against. Its probably ash's highest level pokemon all things considered. Didnt he improve in behavior after the thing you alluded to happened and time passed?

As for the togepi thing, wasnt the mystery the whole point? They had no idea what this pokemon was, where it came from, or anything else.

[Lord Raziere]

I always took the charizard thing as pokepuberty. Now he is an arrogant teenager who thinks he is so badass that he doesnt have to listen to anyone anymore. Ash should have had pikachu kick his ass a few times to remind him of the pecking order. And dont tell me pikachu wouldnt win, he has taken down rock pokemon, more highly evolved electric pokemon, and just about everything else he has gone up against. Its probably ash's highest level pokemon all things considered. Didnt he improve in behavior after the thing you alluded to happened and time passed?

As for the togepi thing, wasnt the mystery the whole point? They had no idea what this pokemon was, where it came from, or anything else.

and I agree, Ash SHOULD have had Pikachu kick Charizard's ass. problem is, Ash is too much of a nice guy to do that kind of thing. see how he keeps pleading Charizard to obey him? yeah, he doesn't have the guts to use the stick on Charizard, he probably is too caught up in "love all pokemon" thing. and yes Charizard does eventually improve. during the Orange Islands. after nearly dying. Again.

yeah but here is the thing: they say something about giving it back to Nurse Joy. so it implies that a Nurse Joy had it, who for some reason brought it to an archeological dig. and that Team Ash technically stole/kidnapped Togepi. so yeah.

Episode 46: Pokescrubs
aand we open on Pikachu getting sick somehow and no pokemon center nearby…

um. really? this world seems really obsessed with pokemon, and this is a big city, so I fail to see why there wouldn’t be a pokemon center around here. are pokemon just not that common in this area? or is there some other reason…?

how….how did an entire apple get stuck in Pikachu’s throat? how is that even possible? y’know what, nevermind.

and now an entire truck has crashed and many pokemon are in need of care. and this guy is the only one on hand. great. and even BROCK is disgusted by this guy! wow, Dr. Proctor your already lower than the guy who hits on every girl who isn’t Misty or married.

and yeah, he is roping them into this because he figures that having trainers around might help him with things. after all, pokemon trainers probably have to know a thing or two about pokemon health…

well say what you want about Team Rocket, at least they care.

whelp, the doc is asleep, now they have to figure out how to heal them without even a bad doctor to do it! worst medical aid, to the rescue! at least they still have Chanceys around.

Ash: healing pokemon by…..beating them up apparently.

and apparently Dr. Proctor is a badass. kay.

and overall I like this episode actually. it shows the problems that can arise from treating pokemon and showing why pokemon centers are needed for this sort of thing. as well as themes about demonstrating true compassion and care for others. Dr. Proctor, even if he isn’t specialized in this and is reluctant at first, tries his best to heal them anyways.

Episode 47: No Coin For Freedom
oh! its the James backstory episode. I always like the Team Rocket backstory episodes. they’re different, they always have a little sadness to them, and its an opportunity to a little more original…

wow, no wonder James left his parents. they are massive jerks, willing to fake DEATH just to get him to come back.

and then marry…..a goddamn Jessieclone. more evidence that genetics in this world just produce weird clones for no reason. like, Joy and Jenny not alone, Brock’s family, Jessebelle…there is pretty good evidence that this is just how families work in pokemon, perhaps a distant relative of Jessie?

and Jessebelle tricks them into coming down here, and cracks the whip…and interesting, both Misty and Brock have blushes watching Jessebelle crack the whip while saying “let the taming begin!”…they both have a BDSM fetish? or at least know what that is, as opposed to Ash…

aren’t they criminals? can’t Jessie and James just steal the money from himself? if that makes any sense.

and I like the reversal here: Team Rocket is showing how all the money in the world can’t buy freedom, while Team Ash suffers the cruel fate of having to run from Jessebelle. I like this episode because it proves that Team Rocket isn’t just some pathetic villain of the week, they are actual characters with lives, backstories, problems of their own.

Episode 48: A Second Criminal Better Than Team Rocket
beautiful meadow? looks like a bunch of rocks in the middle of a forest.

oh cool, farfetch’d is like a drill leader or something.

and Misty got pick-pocketed. seems like this guy is already a more competent criminal than Team Rocket.

and demonstrates this by taking Team Rocket’s pokemon as well. one slick operator this guy is.

“he tricked us two times in one episode!”- is this the third or the fourth time that Team Rocket has broken the fourth wall? I forget

of these three, the doctor episode is actually pretty good, it shows what Joy probably has to go through on daily basis, it shows them working to care for pokemon no matter how dangerous they seem, while the Farfetch'd episode is just meh. the best episode of these three however is the James backstory one. it does pretty well in laying out just why James is in Team Rocket instead of living it up in luxury: his parents are jerks and crazy, and his forced fiancé is Jessie with the cruelty turned up to eleven. I actually agree with James on his decision. No amount of money in the world is worth that. None.

but what I really liked about it is the implication that Ash doesn't know what BDSM is yet, but that Brock and Misty do.

[ThePhantom]

Ah Jigglypuff, your'e a nice running gag, it will just take a while before soundproof comes around. The doctor episode was also great, I always wanted to watch it again. And we have a part of James' backstory a big part. It will be a while before we see the others.

[Lord Raziere]

any ways, next three episodes!

Episode 49: Parental Issues
updated pokedex eh?

oh good, they’re finally talk about heading to Cinnabar Island!

Misty would love a Tentacruel…..combined with her potential BDSM blush, I’m starting to wonder where Misty’s tastes run exactly…

and this is where Togepi hatches! to be mostly useless for all of Kanto and Johto, mostly there as a mascot aside from the rare instances it uses metronome.

and then Meowth somehow wins against freaking ONIX. then loses against Pikachu as always.

yeah, Ash would never get Togepi. he is too Ash for it.

Episode 50: Can We Evolve Past This Aesop Already?
FIFTIETH EPISODE ANNIVERSARY! YAY!

oh so its this episode where Bulbasaur tries to stop evolving I think? I don’t think I watched this episode or something. I don’t remember how it turns out either. I actually hope its not another “your awesome without evolving” lesson. evolving is an important part of pokemon growth. keeping a pokemon at its first stage is basically keeping it a child and stopping it from growing up. I mean, the last two times, this evolution lesson made sense because it involved evolution stones, and therefore was completely optional to do. but evolution like this is a natural part of the pokemon’s life cycle so it doesn’t make sense to not evolve. it should be happy really, because its starting to grow up…

wow. the blastoff was quick….and of course Team Rocket is back just as quick. easy come easy go…

…..Ash is right, but still…..this doesn’t make any sense why Bulbasaur doesn’t want to evolve. its just how it naturally grows, Bulbasaur is basically saying it wants to keep being a child for no reason. until you know, you actually give me a good reason why not to evolve.

“we need the motto! our fans have come to expect it!”-truer fourth-wall breaking words have never been spoken.

….why isn’t the suction working on Team Ash too?

um no Misty? last time I checked, Grass is resistant to Electric. I think. besides you didn’t have a problem with that kind of thing before.

and I don’t like this episode, because its just another “evolution is not everything” aesop. I do admit that Bulbasaur using solar beam is awesome though.


Episode 51: Cliched Feminine Stereotype Festival
…wow. I don’t know whether this “Princess Festival” thing is feminist or sexist. on one hand….woman empowerment. on the other hand…holiday where the man has to do everything the woman says is kind of domineering I guess?

…and Jessie captures a Lickitung. odd, since the Farfetch’d episode said she had it before this episode, so I guess they aired out of order or something.

this Cappuchino guy is Italian eh.

hm, maybe Team Rocket isn’t so bad at pokemon battling after all. maybe its just that Team Ash is so good or so used to facing Team Rocket that they know how to beat them every time without problem, because Jessie defeated all the other trainers with no problem. really, Team Rocket is a case study in failed potential. they make wondrous inventions that they could make lots of money off of, they have potential to be great pokemon trainers, Meowth is the only normal type pokemon to ever figure out how to SPEAK and WALK UPRIGHT, yet….they waste it all on stupid crimes that don’t work.

also say what you will about Team Rocket, at least they can relate to each other’s troubles. they’re good friends to each other even if they’re not particularly friendly with anyone else.

and lol, all three Team Rocket get owned in rapid succession by Pikachu. of course. but of course, there is a fourth pokemon….

and now all of Misty’s pokemon get owned in rapid succession. because Lickitung is badass apparently.

and Psyduck interrupting Misty’s plan to use Staryu in 3….2……1…

and of course, it wins. because Psyduck is badass apparently.

and so Misty gets some dolls, then has a meeting with some air headed italian guy that we don’t see and…..yeah. I don’t really know what to think of this episode. sexist? feminist? I don’t know. its just weird. cause while it seems to feminine empowering, it also seems to be adhering to all the feminine stereotypes to the letter. maybe I’m reading too much into it.

but you know what would make a great game show?: Sexist or Feminist. It would be all about determining whether or not something is….y’know.


yeah, Onix got whorfed, Togepi got hatched, we get a THIRD stupid anti-evolution aesop, and then we get a Festival that I'm honestly not sure whether its just another form of sexism or actually supposed to be feminist. so you guys make the call: is the Princess Festival feminist or sexist? but please. don't make this a big argument or anything. we're all mature people here. I think we can determine whether something is good or bad for our modern values in a calm rational manner.

[ThePhantom]

The princess festival is japanese, so I'll go with mildly sexist. Anyway it was nice the way that episode ended, with James and Meowth giving Jesse their homemade dolls. We want Ash to win, but Team Rocket is more of the stars of the show really. They are much more funny. Wait, I just slightly figured out why Ash has to keep going, because if he stops so does Team Rocket. He's the island to Team Rocket's Gilligan and company.

[Lord Raziere]

The princess festival is japanese, so I'll go with mildly sexist. Anyway it was nice the way that episode ended, with James and Meowth giving Jesse their homemade dolls. We want Ash to win, but Team Rocket is more of the stars of the show really. They are much more funny. Wait, I just slightly figured out why Ash has to keep going, because if he stops so does Team Rocket. He's the island to Team Rocket's Gilligan and company.

yeah, thats probably a safe bet.

and yeah.....Team Rocket would make better protagonists. already I have this idea for an alternate universe fan fiction called Team Pocket where Jessie and James are good guy pokemon trainers with a talking Meowth following them around. they are still total losers, but they try to do good and earn Badges anyways, while Ash would be a lone Rocket Agent who is still rash and easily angered, while Gary is still his rival in Team Rocket still being a stuck up prick, so Ash would constantly be trying to capture pokemon to one up him and Team Pocket would have to stop him, but because their competence isn't switched to, it would be hard for Team Pocket to win against Rocket-Ash and his Team Rocket-enhanced Pikachu.

next three episodes, lets not dwell on the Princess Festival for long.

Episode 52: The Most Boring Mistaken Identity Plot Ever
and this episode involves little kids trying to play with pokemon…..and immediately we see the problems with this with Pikachu, they see them only as another toy. is there any wonder why I hate children like this?

good idea not sending out Charizard, Ash. that would not end well for anyone.

oh no, its worse than I thought, its going to be one of those sad child episodes where the child dislikes pokemon or something and they will teach him how to like pokemon and ****.

ooooh. the only pokemon he wants to meet is a Meowth. that makes more sense. ok this might actually be hilarious.

ok no hilarity, meh. they figure out Meowth’s identity so easily. sigh.

and then Timmy swore to someday compete in the pokemon league….and then they never saw him ever again.

Episode 53: Why Pokemon Trainers Solve Everything
and we open with a thief and goddammit that Jigglypuff in the background. and unlike some other episode, the thief has a gun yet this isn’t banned. odd.

BUT IF HE IS TRAINING YOUR CANINE POLICE UNIT, WHY ARE YOU SO NEAR CIVILIZATION THAT PASSING TRAINERS COULD POTENTIALLY MISTAKE HIM FOR A REAL THIEF!? Jennies! Are! Useless!

oh but I guess this episode is trying to convince us otherwise near the end of the season. ok, I’ll bite. lets see how “useful” the police are in this world, when they’re not busy not arresting Gym leaders that should be, not catching a criminal gang that normal trainers defeat every episode, and mistaking the protagonists for criminals themselves. oh and failing to catch criminals better than Team Rocket.

this Jenny is oddly forgiving, as they just shocked one of her police officers….which is more than they did to most Jennies….

oh no, poor Pikachu…yeah, stick to normal training Ash.

and here is Team Rocket! lets see how the Growlithe and the Jenny do against the lamest villains ever.

Jigglypuff just randomly comes in and sings for a few seconds. ok. that was random.

and they fall under Team Rocket’s control immediately. Jennies are useless.

you ARE pathetic Brock….

so what did we learn today? that all of Jennies are hard work and training only made their Growlithes susceptible to Team Rocket’s control and it took the Power Of Heart of Ash and Pikachu to get rid of Team Rocket. JENNIES ARE USELESS!

….what is the Jigglypuff planning to do with that loudspeaker…

Episode 54: Picture Perfect Paranoia
Episode 54 already?

heh, 4kids either seems to not be dubbing this anymore or something, cause they now say riceball rather than donuts. either that or people aren’t stupid and called 4kids out on it and they changed it so that- ah who am I kidding, its probably dubbed by somebody different now, 4kids never learned their lesson.

I’m really not surprised that Ash had the reaction that he did to the guy taking a photo. considering how many times they’ve been ambushed by Team Rocket, I’m guessing he’d grow kind of paranoid. that and it kind of looks like a gun and he is hiding in the grass so…yeah, I’m not against Ash on this one, Team Rocket could be around the corner at any time, he is perfectly justified in being paranoid here.

……wow Team Rocket your idiots. this is a massive case of misunderstanding: Team Rocket thinks he can capture Pikachu himself. Snap thinks he just needs to capture Pikachu in a photo, and he doesn’t tell them why he needs to do so.

so yeah. poke photographer and Ash are friends now. whatever.

yeah, the Growlithe episode pretty seals the deal that Jennies are useless for me, because all their training and hard work goes out the window for a simple Team Rocket trick. the other two are just boring.

[Sylthia]

Charmeleon may be my favorite poke, but Ash's was in need of a good pokespanking.

It's more that Ash is too nice, rather than anything else. He's certainly brave, but Char walks all over Ash because he let him.

I really like the alternate episode titles.

Like some others here, I stopped watching at the beginning of Johto.

[ThePhantom]

It depends on the Jenny. Most are not that good at their job, but one or two have more motivation to do good so they do that.

[Lord Raziere]

there will be four episodes this time, to finally cover the seventh Gym...

Episode 55: Pop Quiz
oh Snap is traveling with them? huh, weird. and Misty asks an innocent question…

so Ash is going to take a test to earn a badge. he is doomed to fail, and so is probably Team Rocket.

and Meowth is distracted by a ball of yarn for the second time.

“Lickitung’s tongue is twice the length of its body, true or false” TRUE!

“Vulpix evolves by use of Firestone” TRUE!

“Hitmonlee is known as the Punching Demon” FALSE.

“The only attack Magikarp originally knows is Splash” TRUE

“Caterpie is the world’s smallest pokemon” TRUE

“Koffing was discovered in a public bathhouse.” FALSE. public bathhouses are too pure and clean for a poison type pokemon like Koffing.

ok ID’ing a pokemon, and the first is a ball. now, people would normally go for say, Voltorb or Electrode, but since I remember something about an episode like this pulling a fast one, I’m saying its Jigglypuff, because thats the real answer even though its bull****. True!

and what pokemon displays this spiral pattern? well, Meowth has a tail that spirals, and so does a Ratatta I think? but that might not be the answer. oh! right. is a Poliwhirl. or Poliwrath. or Poli…something. point is. Poliwhirl line. oh Poliwag. I was technically right. what? just because its little vague, doesn’t mean I’m not correct.

what pokemon does this tail belong too? Ponyta. I was right!

aaand Ash is tied with James for lowest score. both Team Rocket and Team Ash are losers.

so both James and Ash have to adapt to different pokemon. this should be fun

and of course James gets the worst type matchup ever. all the pikachu in the world won’t help against Graveler.

and Ash does seem to be a better battler than Team Rocket at least.

and overall this episode…..well it does show that being a good trainer matters just as much as having good pokemon…but at the same time, the test stuff is kinda bull****.
good lesson, though.

Episode 56: Oh Hey Competence, Where Have You Been?
I never got why Breeding Centers are there except for getting eggs. sure it raises your pokemon, but aren’t you supposed to do that yourself? and when I did that in the games, if just ends up screwing up the pokemon’s move set that I carefully made to win as much as possible. trust me, its better to level it up yourself and only use these things for getting eggs to hatch. I know there are some people who try to breed an optimized pokemon somehow, but thats going a little too far in my opinion.

also, I doubt this Breeding Center is the real deal or whatever. this is just too good to be true. and this girl is familiar for some reason but I can’t place why.

oh. now I see why. this is Butch and Cassidy. James and Jessie clones when you want serious Team Rocket opponents and not total jokes. this is their first appearance. things are going to start heating up…

smart to get rid of the Psyduck, Misty. smart indeed. or not! to get free food, you must now go and get back your goddamn Psyduck! the universe hates you.

what the hell, why are all the pokemon in cages. (I know why, don’t worry)

fury swipes? thats not a useful move, teach the Sandshrew to use Dig. you can steal a lot of stuff with Dig.

Butch is genre savvy.

Snap, just release them all now and show the pictures later.

and now for the other kind of Team Rocket Motto:

To infect the world with devastation
To blight all peoples in every nation
To denounce the goodness of truth and love
To extend our wrath to the stars above
Cassidy
Butch.
We’re Team Rocket circling all day and night
Surrender to us now or you’ll lose the fight.

wow, Cassidy has a spot check worth a damn.

and then they convince Jenny that TEAM ASH are the criminals, Team Mirror Rocket is COMPETENT.

yet they still lose at the end of the episode.

Episode 57: Crouching Tourist Trap, Hidden Flame Riddles
and we open with…..Gary Oak basically deflating all expectations that Brock set up about Cinnabar Island. guess its glory days is behind it.

aw crap, Jigglypuff is here again.

and this weird guy starts spouting riddles. kay.

“what is hot and cool at the same time?”- Hot springs

“the gym is the same place where you put your glasses” in front of your eyes.

and Gary gets his comeuppance when he falls for the Jigglypuff trap. heheheheheheh!

and then they go to a Big Riddle Inn….save the pokemon and the riddle is:

“where would a firefighter never win?” volcano. duh. and finally, after nearly 30 episodes after Koga, we get to face…

BLAINE, SEVENTH GYM LEADER OF THE INDIGO LEAGUE.

aaand, Squirtle loses because he is an freaking volcano and his water turns to steam. remember Ash? WHERE WOULD FIREFIGHTERS NEVER WIN? Squirtle was in a previous episode, named a firefighter. guess what, HE LOSES. and with the pokemon you have left being: Bulbasaur, Butterfree, Pidgeotto, Pikachu and Charizard, your left with limited options for success. three of your pokemon will basically die like flies to fire types, and the last two aren’t all that super-effective.

Charizard? ok, but…doing so is kind of throwing in a mad dog with a bomb strapped to its back into battle. your not hoping to control it, your hoping that the Charizard defeats whatever comes into play with raw power and doesn’t direct any of that at yourself.

oh and of course, Rhydon is the next pokemon because Blaine doesn’t follow **** like type themes and just uses a ground/rock type because he can. man, this battle is an uphill one. Blaine doesn’t play nice.

and we end on a cliffhanger as the battle heats up even more. unlike other Gyms, Blaine actually seems serious. I like Blaine really, he is a nice guy if obsessed with riddles and he is extremely competent in how he battles. even with Koga things were interrupted by Team Rocket, but this is a whole other game…

Episode 58: Eruption of Competence
and I like this episode, because this is where pokemon really starts getting serious, like stopping the volcano with teamwork, wrecking the Gym, Charizard participating for an epic battle….there is little here to riff on to my perspective. I also like how Blaine said if Ash didn’t give up, he would’ve disqualified Ash as a trainer, and thus would’ve destroyed his dream.

now to see the epic battle itself: Charizard vs. Magmar. FIGHT!

AWESOME SEISMIC TOSS! too bad it threw him into the lava. but he wins!

and Misty has officially forgotten the bike thing as she talks about the Earth Badge. episode 58: the point where Misty officially forgot. now to wait until the episode where she finally gets it back (it will be for a very. very. long time)

noooooooooooooooooo! she remembers! I will wait for the day where she truly forgets her bike, she has to eventually….

on these episodes, seeing the Butch-Cassidy Team Rocket for the first time is definitely a change, the way they smoothly and competently pull off an operation that Jessie-James would probably ruin as soon as someone says "trouble" or something like that and keep others from interfering in it is scary, while they get beaten at the end of the episode it is clear that they're not just some side-problem opportunists like JJ-Rocket, BC-Rocket are main problem of the episode and their operations tend to already be underway and working on a bigger scale while being harder to foil- it was up to Misty to save the day and not by blasting them in a battle, but by gathering photo evidence of their misdeeds.

the pop quiz episode, yeah the first question with the Jigglypuff is just a "screw you" question that NO ONE would get right. don't tell me you would. But I do like the demonstration of how a good trainer can kick ass with ANY pokemon he is given.

and finally we have the Blaine battles, which I think are some of the best in the Kanto series. you can tell that the ante is being upped here. pokemon fighting over lava and facing fire types and Charizard kicking ass in the sky, showing that Charizard can be useful if he ever got around to obeying Ash. but Blaine is still proving that Gym leaders are crazy, because while awesome, fighting over lava and such is a very big safety hazard for a Gym and I don't think the pokemon league would approve of an arena where pokemon could potentially die from falling in lava, assuming we live in one of those universes where convection is just this thing that doesn't exist for some reason, oh and the fact that Blaine only allows in people who solve his stupid riddles and keeps his Gym secret makes me wonder how approved he is with the League exactly, I mean sure he has a badge, but how much does the League know about Blaines general crazy? did they just register him as a Gym leader long ago, and then not bother to check up on him? they can't have assumed that he is no longer a legit Gym, his badge is apparently legit enough to get someone into the league, even though his actual Gym is destroyed. Inspector Joy seriously needs to travel more.

[Traab]

Charmeleon may be my favorite poke, but Ash's was in need of a good pokespanking.

It's more that Ash is too nice, rather than anything else. He's certainly brave, but Char walks all over Ash because he let him.

I really like the alternate episode titles.

Like some others here, I stopped watching at the beginning of Johto.

Honestly. "Charizard, if you dont stop refusing to listen to me, you get sent to the last square of the furthest box of bill's pc and I will forget I ever got you." (or slightly nicer) "I will send you to oak and not bother calling you back for battles until you are willing to work with me."

As for all the episodes, yeah, I liked the cinnibar badge fight. Like you said, it gets serious. As for unsafe, meh, the way blaine acts I wouldnt be surprised if there are some sort of safeties in place in case of emergencies. Besides, he uses pokemon that breathe FIRE. All by itself thats insanely dangerous. "Hey charizard, give third degree burns to over 90% of your opponents body with FIRE SPIN!" Honestly, pokemon battles are so insanely dangerous and deadly its kinda silly to point out ways the gym leaders are acting dangerously.

Trainer: "Hey Dragonite! Fire your hyperbeam!"

Dragonite: "I'M A FIRIN MAH LAZURZ!" /cue giant explosive blast of utter annihilation as there is a brief cinematic of the Macross shooting its beam cannon.

Other Trainer: "Hey! I just noticed this platform doesnt have safety rails on it! What kind of nut job are you?! Also, can you help me find my pokemon? All I can see is its left foot.""

[ThePhantom]

Ugh, not fond of Butch and Cassidy, part of that is they oppose the regular team rocket as well as team Ash, so I really want them to lose. Other part is a bad memory from one their schemes, it really rubbed me the wrong way. But the Cinnabar Island episodes were indeed quite nice, some of the best of the season.

[Shekinah]

Ugh, not fond of Butch and Cassidy, part of that is they oppose the regular team rocket as well as team Ash, so I really want them to lose. Other part is a bad memory from one their schemes, it really rubbed me the wrong way. But the Cinnabar Island episodes were indeed quite nice, some of the best of the season.

Isn't that why he's called Botch?

[Lord Raziere]

now that we've experienced the awesome of Blaine, lets take a look at how we somehow completely dodge going to the Viridian Gym for another three episodes!

Episode 59: Jigglypuff Is Stupid
oh no, a Wartortle. this isn’t going to be yet ANOTHER “Ash’s pokemon decides not to evolve so that they’ll remain marketable or something” episode is it? complete with “badass without evolving” lesson? please let it not be that kind of episode.

ok, Kaminuirtle breaks out his sunglasses once again cool.

hopefully they rest of Team Ash is smart enough to not touch the Blastoise after seeing both Ash and Kaminuirtle go to sleep….

oh god. how did Jigglypuff get here!? weird familiar sound probably is Jigglypuff, what with the sleeping effects…

YUP! I WAS RIGHT! Jigglypuff has returned! we’re all doooooooooomed….

and then Team Rocket falls asleep while the room slowly fills with water 0_0. oh god. Jigglypuff: fueling your nightmares.

“Are Squirtle and Jigglypuff ok?”- What no worry for Team Rocket? they’re people to y’know.

“I look like a cartoon character!”- you ARE a cartoon character Misty. *trollsmile while Misty’s goes insane from the revelation*

Episode 60: Yet Another “Apart of the Show” Cliche.
so we suddenly go to Cerulean City as a very out of the way detour…because Horsea needs exercise. kay.

….wait, they’re doing an underwater ballet with Misty as the princess…..of a play with a prince…..that is acted entirely by women. who are all sisters. for some reason my mind thinks there is some incest/lesbian subtext here, but I’m probably reading too deep into it.

“I am like, SO happy we tricked Misty into this”- AHA! so you admit that this was a trick! siblings: always screwing with you.

I’m starting to wonder if Misty’s hair can change length at will. but then again I’m also wondering why Misty put her hair into that weird sideways ponytail anyways when she looks so good with her hair down, I mean look at Misty in her mermaid costume: why doesn’t she let her hair down more often? she looks so much better that way, but she always goes for that stupid sideways ponytail that makes her look like she has a big sideways antenna on her head.

aaaand Team Rocket crashes the show! frack.

huh, apparently Arbok can breathe underwater…….but Weezing can’t.

…..PSYDUCK CAN’T EVEN SWIM!? WHAT KIND OF WATER POKEMON ARE YOU!?
EPIC. FAIL.

…..since when was Seal weak? I never got that impression, also Arbok seems really powered up this episode, maybe because poison is strong against water?

and so, it all wraps up, with the audience being stupid enough to belief that it was all apart of the show. sigh.

“save the sweet talk Ash, you still owe me a bike”-aw she still remembers, still waiting for the day when you forget Misty. still waiting for that day.


Episode 61: A Ranting Lunatic Finds Mad Science
what, Jiggypluff just singing along then a ship crashing then Clefairy coming out….OH GODDAMMIT NOT ANOTHER FILLER EPISODE! your getting near the end of the SEASON! stop ****ing around with filler and get to the good stuff already! you don’t have many episodes LEFT! only….7 if I recall. thats not a lot of time.

anyways, my theory is that Team Rocket tried to steal some Clefairy in some weird saturn spaceship and screwed up royally, its honestly the most likely explanation.

wow, all of their stuff was taken. Team Rocket.

nope, not Team Rocket,too widespread, its the Clefairy

……aw crap another UFO seeker. figures, the filler episode between the last two gyms would involve Clefairies and another lunatic. but this time, its a ranting lunatic!

ok, THATS Team Rocket.

either Misty is an alien, Togepi is alien or your scanner just detects females….heavens know types like ranting lunatic need it…. wait, you ordered it from a comic book…yeeeaaaah, that explains a lot. your a loon.

Jigglypuff Vs. Clefairy, Slap Fight, GOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

Jigglypuff is badass, especially when you take her mic away.

Jigglypuff Vs. Clefairy, Slap Fight, Round Two, GOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

oh crap, Jigglypuff sings as the rocket begins to launch. NOOOOOOOOOOOOO…..

uuuuuuh, that control panel was damaged….so your happy for them probably drifting aimlessly through space without any direction? cause thats really dangerous….

but they crash, and the Clefairy set off to steal more things to try and leave the planet for some reason…..okay….

Overall, this episode just seems to be a darker twist upon the earlier one. combine this with three episodes featuring the full evolutions of the starters, and its like the final episodes are weird mirrors of the earliest ones somehow. this episode is even taking place between them going from Cerulean City to Viridian!


really, just look at these, these episodes just seem to be there so that we don't get to the Viridian Gym too fast, the middle one being the biggest stretch in that they somehow instantly arrive at Cerulean City and completely avoid the Viridian Gym. the last one is the weirdest in that the whole thing seems to be the earlier Clefairy episode but somehow a dark mirror of it: the lunatic in question seems to dislike more than like them, the Clefairy are the antagonists and they are more mad science than some strange mystical seeming thing, and all in all, I'm just WTH, why are we experiencing an earlier episode but backwards?

[ThePhantom]

Yah, these episodes are a bit weird. Maybe it was buying time for the up coming movie to get worked out.

[Lord Raziere]

only two episodes this time, cause the next one I post, will be the Mewtwo Strikes Back movie, and these are the episodes that lead up to it.

Episode 62: Coming Full Circle
ok ok, its been a WHOLE YEAR since they first got to Viridian? ok, we’re still within a timeline, so Ash should be 11 by now.

and the Pokemon Center is repaired! cool

Gary has TEN BADGES. that is two more than he actually needs, and two more than is shown in Kanto, Gary Oak: so awesome he BREAKS IMPOSSIBILITY ITSELF.

“reality check Ash: he has been way ahead of you from the start” -truer words have never been spoken.

the Gym leader is Giovanni. as per the game….

…..Gary you idiot, why Arcanine against Kingler? THATS A TYPE DISADVANTAGE. For a so-called best trainer, your making bad decisions yourself.

ok, so your competent enough to beat things even with type disadvantages, and you probably did that to show off. still kind of stupid, Gary.

oh ****, Giovanni sends in…. MEWTWO.

of course, no data and Gary is caught completely blindsided by this development.

and Team Rocket FINALLY shows a pokemon to Giovanni and…..he is like
“what exactly does this pokemon do?” and is completely unimpressed. oh and it seems Team Rocket is completely delusional about Giovanni, who doesn’t seem to care for Pikachu at all.

and then Giovanni leaves Team Rocket in charge of the Gym and sends Mewtwo off on an emergency assignment….hm. at least we know why Ash doesn’t face Mewtwo until the movie. or never faces Giovanni.

and we face…..TEAM ROCKET!? EIGHTH GYM LEADERS OF THE INDIGO LEAGUE!?

and they put in electric shocks to make it so you feel the pokemon’s pain. wow. thats pointlessly evil.

and Gary actually admits to himself that Ash may not be so bad after all!? DOOM IS UPON US.

and of course, Ash wins against people who aren’t really the Gym leader, in a match that isn’t really a match. so lets review:

1st badge: Given to Him out of pity
2nd badge: Given to him out of pity
3rd badge: Legit
4th Badge: Given to him because daughter laughing
5th badge: given to him in thanks for saving a pokemon
6th badge: Legit
7th Badge: Legit
8th Badge: Fell from Jessie’s hand because they’re cheating bastards.

Ash literally got 5/8’s of his Badges illegitimately. I’m pretty sure if the League ever found out about his adventures they’d disqualify him at the very least. More probably most of, if not all of the Gym Leaders would be fired for one reason or another. oddly enough its LIEUTENANT SURGE thats probably the most legitimate Gym Leader of the bunch: Brock and Misty abandoned their duties to go on some journey, Sabrina was outright evil, Erika denied entry to a trainer over perfume, Koga designed a mansion that could potentially kill people and has a hair-trigger daughter, Blaine while a nice guy let his previous Gym go to waste and now holes up in a volcano shown to be dangerous and potentially lethal to the pokemon and their trainers while only letting people who solve his riddles in BECAUSE HE DIDN’T LIKE TOURISM, and Giovanni is of course a crime boss. is there any wonder why people go to Pokemon School or take a poke-aptitude test to get into the Indigo League instead?

So yeah, Jennies are Useless, Gym Leaders Are Insane, your only hope are overly competitive trainers of incredibly dangerous creatures, which means the most useful authority figure in the world of pokemon is…..Nurse Joy! thats right. the world is in the hand of the medics. thats why sent a Joy to be pokemon inspector: even the League knows that Joys are more useful than Jennies,

so yeah, we’ve come full circle: Ash’s quest for badges began and ended with defeating Team Rocket and destroying a building in Viridian City in the process. only now, they’re going back to Pallet….BECAUSE THEY DON’T KNOW WHERE THE INDIGO LEAGUE IS. /facepalm.

ok look: they have a map of Kanto. they can just look it up. Brock and Misty were both Gym Leaders, they should know where it is. Ash should’ve looked this up a while ago because he has been obsessed with this the entire season….so yeah, this is just an excuse for more filler! thankfully, I won’t have to view it right now, because I’m going to be watching Pokemon: The First Movie. and that is going to be a whole thing unto itself. I’ve been told the movie happens right after Ash wins the eight badge, so its time to watch it again….and oh my, how long it has been….

Episode 63: Ash’s Mother Is An Idiot.
After watching Pokemon the First Movie….this is pretty much a return to the same old stuff. oh well. still, why they have to have this filler when episodes left are limited is beyond me…

and Brock is pretty much going full macho this episode to try and impress her. sigh.

hm, I think I may jumped the gun on seeing the movie, Giovanni still has Mewtwo in this episode.

also, Ash, your dressing as a clown, but a mime. mime’s are pretty much the complete opposite of clowns.

wow Ash your a loser for having to perform a freaking Mr. Mime. but your also lucky that Team Rocket showed up.

aaaand….Ash’s mom is not worried. wow Ash. wow. your such a loser, that your own mother’s reaction to you being kidnapped, is to smile and invite your friends over for lunch and let you get out of the situation yourself. thats just sad. I feel sorry for Ash that he is such a loser now. that has just got to hurt if he ever finds out.

oh NOW your worried….and then she mistakes a real Mr. Mime for Ash. no Ash, you are even more of a loser than I thought. your own Mother is intelligent enough to know who you are through a disguise but stupid enough to fall for the knowing of that your are in a disguise, and thus mistake a Mr. Mime for you.

…..wait…..you…..the mother…..are asking:
“does Ash have a twin brother?”
……YOU OF ALL PEOPLE SHOULD KNOW, MRS. KETCHUM. I mean your the mother, your kind of in a position to know about these sorts of things, unless Ash is adopted or your the biggest idiot on the planet…and I’m leaning towards the latter, given the current situation.

wait the entire tank is made of rubber? what….but thats clearly steel, unless all that is actually plastic….

and it closes with Ash being shown up by the Mr. Mime. Ash you are such a loser, that Mr. Mime even makes a better member of the family than you. I think your even more of a loser now than when you started. thats quite an accomplishment. but at least we know where Ash got his intelligence. hint hint: its not his father. whoever that is. seriously 63 episodes, and we haven’t seen Ash’s father once. we don’t even know what his job is. you think we’d get to know this at some point but no.


so yeah. I think these episodes speak for themselves. most of Ash's Kanto wins aren't legit, his mother is stupid enough to mistake an actual Mr. Mime for a costume, and accepts said Mr. Mime as a member of the family and basically thinks the Mr. Mime is better than him. oh and she is apparently too stupid to know his lineage, or she adopted Ash. but really, I do recall her mentioning a father in like, episode TWO, who is never mentioned ever again. so. thats confusing. but yeah. now to wait until I can post movie.

[ThePhantom]

Um, the movie takes place after episode 65, when Mewtwo blows up the rocket base and leaves. Just a little hint to the order of events.

[Lord Raziere]

sigh. three more then! I may have watched it out of order, but dang it I'll post in chronological order!

Episode 64: Yet Another Christmas Version Of Something.
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT. WHY ARE WE GETTING A GODDAMN CHRISTMAS EPISODE. I DON’T REMEMBER THIS. HOW MANY EPISODES ARE REALLY LEFT!?

ok. 82 episodes in total….this is episode 64…..yeah wow. we’re not through yet. I was mistaken we still have….18 episodes goddammit. this is what happens when you skim and don’t double check your information. oh well, we’re in it for long haul anyways…

this a Rocket episode, and its about Jessie. kay. and how she witnessed a Jynx break into her home on Christmas and steal her stuff while dressed as santa. wow. Lynx is a ****.

wait what, Charmander!? ok now I know this out of continuity, because thats supposed to be a Charizard. or at least aired out of order….

ok, so….the logic here is that Jynx is the pokemon of Santa Claus and they must somehow get Jynx back to the north pole because reasons…..*facepalm*

I’m with Team Rocket on this one: the Jynx is just conning them somehow. there is no way Santa actually exists in this universe. but then again….Kanto weirdness…

suddenly: a Lapras. that can speak into your mind.

oh god, they’re going there, they’re really going there, why Santa? Why Christmas? this entire episode feels written differently from the normal ones. especially since I don’t think Japan celebrates Christmas?

…..Pokemon you have Jynx being Santa’s little helpers at the north pole while Team Rocket plans to steal all the presents while Team Ash is conversing with a telepathic Lapras, go home your drunk.

yup, ugh, Christmas plot of “Santa is powerless where hearts don’t believe” and whatnot, its nonsense and I’m too lazy to criticize it in full because its unoriginal nonsense and I’d be saying nothing new by doing it, this just a tired Christmas trope or whatever and can we just end the episode already.

……yeah, this was just a cliched christmas episode in pokemon form. blug. you can even tell that this had a different writer.

Episode 65: Yet Another Snow Survival Story
wow, another filler episode, and Jessie apparently comes from a really poor neighborhood. makes sense, given Jame’s rich upbringing, his best foil is someone from a poor neighborhood, so it makes sense that Jessie is always trying to get more glamorous and womanly if its cliched: to her, they’re things she could never have as a child.

yup, definitely filler, with charmander here. just a survival snow story. sigh. just nothing special about this. nothing to really comment. ugh.

….what no butterfree? really, wheres your butterfree Ash? Pidgeotto is there but Butterfree hasn’t been seen or used since…..I think Erika’s Gym? sigh.

hah! Ash is such a loser that his friends stayed in a freaking hot spring while he had to fight to survive and be cold with his pokemon. just his luck.

and Team Rocket is stuck in perpetual cold/hot dilemma. I know that feeling when I have to get out of the bed in the morning. my house got heating in all the rooms except mine, so my room is always cold.

Episode 66: Crabby Measuring Contest.
oh hey Togepi in this episode, this is canon, yay!

Ash your such a loser, that a Mr. Mime wakes you up with a vacuum cleaner and your mother doesn’t even scold him and goes “well when he sees something dirty, he has to clean it up” implying that Ash is dirty. its simply miraculous how the inclusion of a single Mr. Mime in his life has destroyed all his hard work at not being a loser, he almost became Not a Loser when Gary paid in a compliment, he has at -1, but then Mimey slapped him back down to -100.

oh and Gary Mother****ing Oak is here and says that Ash is late as usual, but then Oak states he and Gary are Pallets two top pokemon trainers, wow. suddenly we have a major counterbalancing factor to Mr. Mime here. recalculating loser-ness……….-13.
we never got any word on what happened to the other two Pallets. shame.

I think the Mr. Mime can see through Team Rocket’s disguise. must have a good wisdom score.

and now Gary is comparing Crabby sizes…..sigh. just whip it out of your pants already and measure it.

and Professor Oak is demonstrating how wise he is. this is one of those moments where we go a little beyond all the comedy and action and start talking about the bigger picture stuff of pokemon.

heh, Gary has a Doduo friend. guess even jerks have friends. and pokemon often take on characteristics of the trainer eh? that can explain a lot.

and confirmation that Togepi is NOT one of the original 150. even in the early days, there were no plans to keep to the originals, but to expand.

and the two Oaks are more interested in how Meowth is TALKING than the criminals! of course! bet that is something to look into.

and then Oak makes them repair a fence while spouting “wise words” about sharing burdens. because even wise jerks are still jerks.

I posted the third, because the other two are just non-canon filler. but really. why a Christmas episode just......why.

[ThePhantom]

Shoot, looks like my source was wrong on which episode Mewtwo left in. I know there was an episode where the events I mentioned happened.

Anyways something I always found interesting, even through Jessie's family seems to be poor, they live in a castle. Were they fallen nobles, people who blew their money on a castle, servants, or just people who lived in an abandoned castle?

[Lord Raziere]

(forget it Phantom. those two episodes are ones where Togepi do not exist, Charmander hasn't evolved AND in one they meet SANTA. as far as I'm concerned, none of that is canon Jessie backstory, especially since its perfectly possible that Jessie, being a character prone to flights of fancy, I wouldn't trust her memory anyways. though the princess festival episode does say she was poor there too, so its more probable the poor version of the story is more true. still doesn't explain how she got into poke-school though, with James its obvious but Jessie....if she is poor, how'd she get into such a prestigious place? but lets focus on the movie!! I'm sure we will get Jessie's backstory somewhere down the line...right?)

My friends, this is a special time. I have watched the first season of Pokemon, most of it at any rate, and are now discovering what made me like it: the comedy, the loyalty displayed, Team Rocket, almost all of it. sure, there are flaws, there are problems with Pokemon but I honestly like it. its a mess, but its my mess! While not the best of shows admittedly, there is a certain humanity to it. even the villains, while completely evil, are shown to be human and flawed. most of the time Team Rocket are just crooks trying to get by illegitimately. pokemon for the most part, are not villains. they’re the people your supposed to save, the things that the villains try to steal and what not and so on.

and then…there is this movie. this is where things get epic. this is where things go from an adventure of the week happy fun times show to heights of epic world saving, where legendaries start entering the picture and **** starts hitting the fan. It is dark, its a tale of mad science and the experiment going horribly right, it is an epic battle between the first two legendaries, it is Pokemon’s first step into being more than just an adventure of the week show, but a setting that can be more. This is…..Pokemon The First Movie.

But first, lets watch Pikachu and friends **** around on a playground for no reason.

Pikachu’s Vacation:
Before we get to the movie proper, we have to see Pikachu’s Vacation first. when I first saw it, it always came first before the movie. Its apart of the experience. We cannot do any proper watching of Pokemon the First Movie justice without first seeing this first, as this is what was what included in its first release, its part of how I remember it happening. Its how I watched in my youth, its how it will be watched now.

and of course, we start off with the chillest most happy song ever: Need a Vacation, at least one good thing about this short.

also, the Pokedex will speak at certain points. this movie is basically without dialogue aside from the Pokedex speaking to clarify certain reasons why the pokemon do the things they do. I like this as it provides a good unbiased way to inform people of whats happening without taking up too much time or much of a distraction.

and Togepi is hungry but they can’t find food, so Pikachu and Squirtle try to calm her down to no avail, then Pikachu finds an apple….but is quickly eat by Psyduck. now we see why Misty hates Psyduck: he is not just an idiot, but also a jerk who takes food from babies.

but then Bulbasaur rocks Togepi back and forth while singing a lullaby. useful! Bulbasaur has protected other weaker pokemon so of course it would have parental traits like this.

one weird Bellsprout transition later, Togepi is sleeping only for a Raichu, Cubone, Marill, and the first appearance of Snubbull to come in avid happy conversation! but its disturbing Togepi’s sleep, so Pikachu has to be a buzzkill and try to quiet them down. but this makes them start picking a fight over this, but as Togepi has woke up, Pikachu decides to be sane person says to set a good example for the baby

….wait a minute. THE POKEDEX CAN TRANSLATE POKESPEAK!? It could do that ALL THIS TIME!? WHY HAVEN’T WE INVENTED TRANSLATION COLLARS FOR EVERY POKEMON!? WHY AREN’T WE JUST PERSUADING THE POKEMON TO DO WORK FOR MONEY!? OR NEGOTIATE WITH THEM TO WORK WITH NATURE!? DO YOU REALIZE THE IMPLICATIONS OF THIS!? THINK OF ALL THE TIMES MISCOMMUNICATION AND DESTRUCTION COULD’VE BEEN AVOIDED WITH THIS FEATURE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH.

and next of course we are sent on a crazy course down the river with the log rolling along, Togepi happy as ever and Pikachu trying to stay on without Togepi getting hurt…its insane. and of course, Togepi emerges from this minor fiasco just fine while Pikachu gets thrown in the water…

and next we have….the two poke groups doing some competition with their breath and eyeballs or something? the hell?

and now a pokemon swim race between Squirtle and Marill. because…..shut up I don’t know either. the race is off with a bang, both contestants face difficulties but Squirtle loses. Squirtle is a turtle after all, never the fastest of creatures…I like the little music though.

and so we’re back to square one….Togepi is dancing away from electricity, Pikachu tries to protect her but Raichu is a jerk and tweaks his tail, so awakens the Angerchu, because Pikachu doesn’t like uppity Raichu’s thinking they can do anything they want.

and so begins the REAL race: between Pikachu and Raichu approaching insane speeds. going across the entire playground place, including running on water, up waterfalls, the direct route through a hedge maze, and hoping across various platforms.

and oh right, Team Rocket’s pokemon are also taking a vacation, but even here, they won’t catch a break…. or the two Hitmon’s for that matter.

but in the process, they run over Charizard’s tail and Charizard doesn’t like it when you disturb his nap. or compete and win against him. and well, now he is angry….and this basically leads to Pikachu and Raichu trapped under a Snorlax, but they get out, fall down from exhaustion, but Charizard’s head gets trapped in a pipe…and they can’t get him out, and we actually have this sad moment were Pikachu thinks about Charizard being stuck in their for the rest of his days. while that other group with the Snubbull laughs because they’re jerks.

but most of them agree to help out, and Cubone relents after a while, because apparently Cubone is the lonely pokemon. and finally Charizard is out! sure everyone goes flying, but Charizard is just happy its not stuck in a tube.

and the Pokedex concludes that pokemon are by nature cooperative creatures even though they enjoy competition sometimes.

and really I like this short. its shows that not everything about pokemon is battling. that they take vacations, that they have fun on their own, shows what they’re like when they’re relaxing, and I think its a good short to show. its just a bunch of little problems that arise from the pokemon just being pokemon and not being forced to battle. its the closest pokemon will ever get to slice of life, and the fact that its a fun little thing that makes sense and conveys emotion and so on with not a lot of words being used just makes it all the better. its mostly showing not telling, and thus its effective. the only weirdness I didn’t like about it is the absurd amount of long pokemon transitions put there for no reason. and sure I had that big flip out about the translation thing but…ah, I can’t stay mad at pokemon. the trainers seem to understand them well enough anyways.

Mewtwo Strikes Back:
But now for the main event. what you came for: Mewtwo Strikes Back. Lucas is glaring in your general direction for that title, Pokemon. Be careful.

and while this opening is confusing for others (like Nostalgia Critic, who is very unfit for this movie, I however, am a fan, and will do this Movie justice) I like it, because its setting up the tone of this, the more serious and thoughtful tone of the movie compared to the more comedic tone of the series.

(but I swear that there a little more than this, like some thing with Mew’s DNA or something….hm..)

and they finally created Mewtwo, and Mewtwo can talk, and they explain he was a clone of Mew, and his first questions are of course whether he is nothing but a copy, Mew’s shadow and the like. probably the first question on such a clones mind.

and Mewtwo immediately thinks that the humans care nothing for him, and I think I hear “we’ll have to come up with a cage for him” and well hm, probably not a good thing to say out loud to the intelligent psychic… and he doesn’t like that. he may just’ve woken up, but he does not want to be experiment, he wants some thing more, whatever it is.

“we dreamed of creating the world’s strongest pokemon….and we succeeded.”- the most chilling quote of the movie, and the guy’s final words.

and then Giovanni comes in and persuades Mewtwo to be his “partner” (WEAPON) by saying that a wildfire does nothing but destroy everything in its path, and that Mewtwo needs to learn to control his power.

and puts him in the armor that protects him and controls his power while keeping Mewtwo secret. and even an Alakazam does stand a chance against him. but: Why is he here? the question of life itself, still nags at him….

and then he breaks free, saying he will stand alone, conquer the world himself and basically destroy all who oppose him, human or pokemon because of being by people who only wanted to control him. thus does Mewtwo begin his quest…

and oooooh yeah, the awesome movie theme kicks in….

and the first time we see Donphan using rollout. cool.

two for two, and Ash is winning. wow, major competence boost in the movie.

and then the guy in frustration sends out three pokemon, and Ash kicks all their asses with one Pikachu. ONE OF THE POKEMON IS A GOLEM. we are officially ignoring type immunities now.

and of course, Team Ash sees nothing creepy about the invitation from Mewtwo. to be fair, this is consistent with their characterization in the series, so no complaints really.

and Mewtwo starts psychically stirring the clouds into a storm. hm, I wonder: to test the trainers somehow? why is he going through this invitation thing? I forget why he is doing this in this way. also, hm, Mew can sense the disturbance in the force apparently.

wait….why does the harbor master know an ancient prophecy? and holy ****, the whole scene where Ash gets resurrected is not a Deus Ex Machina, its actually a Chekov’s Gun! the Harbor master mentions pokemon restoring lives lost with their tears. which means the whole scene later on doesn’t come out of nowhere. I never knew that. all these events? FORESHADOWED.

and of course the Nurse in charge disappeared last month. more Chekov’s gun! foreshadowing aplenty!

oh and that water guy has a Gyarados. I can respect that, he worked hard to turn a magikarp into a gyarados then probably worked harder to get that Gyarados under control and useful. because a Gyarados is really dang useful when you finally get it going.

and then of course Team Rocket comes in dressed as…..vikings. /facepalm. this is a stretch even for them really. at least their other disguises were rooted in plausibility.

and here is the infamous line, which I am sure you are going to harp on or whatever:
“I didn’t know Vikings still existed”
“They mostly live in Minnesota!”
and yeah….this lines pretty stupid. Brock at least by all measures should be more intelligent and knowledgeable than that. But keep in mind: this is the same three people who don’t know where the Indigo League is even after TRAVELING ALL OF KANTO EARNING BADGES FOR A YEAR FOR IT, SO THEY DECIDED TO GO ASK A POKEMON PROFESSOR. the same three people who get lost even when using a map and traveling across a region based on a place smaller than Japan. also, according to bulbapedia, its referencing the Minnesota Vikings, as in the FOOTBALL TEAM, so it might just be Ash being snarky. I’m pretty sure by now that geography is not Team Ash’s strong suit, so its no big surprise that they would say something like this. its pretty consistent with the cheesy way their characters are written. give them a map and a paper bag and they’ll somehow find themselves in a DIFFERENT paper bag because Ash decided to take a shortcut.

and of course the brave the waters themselves after Team Rocket’s plan failed as usual. really, Team Rocket is just a device to put people in peril. it doesn’t matter that they fail, it matters that the fallout of their plans is something the protagonist have to deal with because of their actions. like swimming to the island using only two unevolved water pokemon.

Welcome to the eye of the storm. and here is Mew….

yeah, Mewtwo has basically brainwashed Joy. he is smart that one, going for the one authority figure thats actually useful in this world: he gets a useful asset, while denying it to the enemy. even Mewtwo knows the power of the Joys.

and Team Rocket surfaces upon his…..Weezing, which in the series drowned and floated to the surface during the Misty Mermaid episode. did it learn to swim or something between Cerulean City and Viridian?

and Mew…..screws around playing on a windmill, just falling and landing on another because…Mew is innocent and kind or something in contrast to Mewtwo’s cynicism and bitterness about well everything. we could use your help sooner y’know….

hm, I have doubts about Mewtwo’s “storm test”. because Team Rocket got through. if Team Rocket got through, anyone can. or maybe not. Team Rocket has this weird power to basically survive anything. they’re completely ineffective at accomplishing anything, but in return they are basically narratively immortal. drown them? won’t work. pokemon attacks? explosions? won’t work. you could make the sun blow up, and Jessie, James and Meowth would somehow be on the one satellite at the edge of the solar system that somehow doubles as a time machine to go back and prevent the sun from blowing up, too far away from the supernova to reach. you can’t kill Team Rocket. its impossible. they’re annoying immortal punching bags.

and this scene just goes to show how freaking weird Ash’s team is. all the trainers here have had their pokemon evolved and well-trained. Ash is working with cute little critters that refuse to evolve for no reason, and his charizard has behavioral problems, oh and pikachu never goes into its ball. if Ash was anything like other trainers (read: smart) his lineup would be: Raichu, Butterfree, Pidgeot, Venusaur, Blastoise, and a loyal well-handled Charizard. also, flying trainer, thanks for showing how stupid Ash is, because he could’ve just used his OWN Pidgeotto to fly through the storm, but since when did we remember Ash’s first two pokemon existed?

“the worlds greatest pokemon trainer is also the world’s most powerful pokemon, the ruler of new island and soon the world, Mewtwo”- I now realize that Mewtwo is planning to conquer the WORLD, and that by his storm demonstration, I think he is pretty capable of doing that. I didn’t know what Mewtwo’s plan was when I was child. I was too caught up in how amazing this all was I guess.

and then Mewtwo demonstrates who is in charge here by redirecting a freaking HYPER BEAM back at the Gyarados and owning it in one hit then proclaiming “child’s play.”

“I am the new ruler of this world, master of all humans and pokemon alike”
“Misty: “your just a bully!”
really Misty? thats the line your going with? why not something better like
“your just a thug!” or something like that, bully is too…..elementary school. its just not apropos.

and we see the clone process. fascinating how it can make clones so fast.

and of course we get the record of why this was all done: Giovanni wanted a super weapon from the Mew clone, they had to make it, and so it was done. it ends with the signature quote

and of course, Mewtwo has this cynical view of the pokemon trainer thing, and thinks them all servants, understandable given Giovanni and his attempts at controlling Mewtwo. Mewtwo views them as no different from what Giovanni did to him, and to be honest, thats not entirely unreasonable. keeping cute critters who are just as intelligent as you or me in little balls, doesn’t scream “respect for fellow sapient beings”. and is why Mewtwo is basically pulling a Great Flood/Noah thing here. problem is, he is both the God causing the Flood, and the Noah waiting it out….

wow flying trainer, your an idiot, after seeing what happened to Gyarados…

and Mewtwo is really going for symbolism here: he starts with the three starters…but their evolved forms. like he is saying that he is beginning his pokemon journey….but bigger.

oh crap, you sent out Charizard. Ash, Charizard is reckless destructive idiot who will- no scratch that, IS attacking Mewtwo immediately. then Mewtwo quips:
“Your Charizard is poorly trained.”
thats right Ash, even in the movie, everyone is ragging on you to better train your strongest pokemon. y’know your doing badly when the villain is giving you tips on how to be a better trainer.

and of course, they demonstrate how the optimized clones beat the originals quite handily. but Ash, being the reckless idiot that he is, won’t go down without a fight….

CHARIZARD! HE SAID SPEED NOT POWER! SPEED. AS IN…..
DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODGE.

and now time for the weird pokeballs we never see ever again, y’know….Mewtwo your being a real hypocrite. you protest against the slavery of pokemon yet you enslave and capture them yourself.

oh and the clone balls capture things in pokeballs to. because Mewtwo is a cheater like that.

and apparently Ash trying to get one clone ball back is enough to destroy the entire machine… not that it matters. Mewtwo has proven he can already rebuild that machine from scratch, he can do it again.

so Mewtwo’s plan was to basically lure bunch of trainers here with their pokemon, then create a bunch of clones to be follow him into his new world. hm, I can’t help but think he would’ve had better results if he waited longer and spent more time getting the word out, the pokemon he has now, while varied, are not varied enough for a good repopulate the world strategy, and he hasn’t mentioned whats going to happen to all those pokemon in the wild that are completely free of human rule.

I think even Ash is aware of how futile this gesture is when he tries to punch Mewtwo himself, he is just doing it to make a freaking point: that he is not afraid of him.

and Mew finally takes action, and oddly, Mew never speaks. just….acts and plays, says real power comes from the heart. and then the real fight begins. and oddly enough, this parallels racism: Mewtwo of the conceit that the clones are always superior no matter what its doing. and so Mewtwo blocks all the pokemon’s special abilities.

and here is where the movie starts getting REAL cheesy and sappy, and starts throwing around all those lessons and such and whatnot. the Nostalgia Critic didn’t like this part, and probably not a lot of people did either. I’ll deal with each thing as it comes along:

yeah, I dislike the music here, I’ll admit that. just…..why. this is like guilt pokemon trainer music or something.

while the battle is drawn out, I do like how the clones and the originals are mostly indistinguishable from one another. really hammers in the symbolism that all these pokemon are the same no matter their origin.

“pokemon are not meant to fight…not like this”
ok, thats consistent with the pikachu short here. the pokedex concluded that POKEMON ARE COOPERATIVE CREATURES. competition is just y’know…something they do.

“Its useless, what can come out of it?”
“Nothing, but pain.”
but pain comes from normal pokemon battles as well.

“why can’t Mewtwo understand its not right to force pokemon to battle this way?”
so somehow, your saying that the normal pokemon battle, is somehow different from this one? why? what about the special abilities make them ok? shouldn’t they be MORE lethal?

“they’re all living creatures, this just proves fighting is wrong.”
yea but, you make them fight everyday as pokemon trainers, so your saying what you do everyday is wrong. but you don’t come to that conclusion- its somehow wrong. why?

“now I can see how horrible fighting really is.”
yet you fight every day of your lives. the weird thing about this movie is this big “FIGHTING IS WRONG” aesop, when pokemon is all about….you guessed it. FIGHTING! thing is though, this can’t just be a dub thing. movies aren’t that flexible. so, the creators MUST have intended this message even in its original format in Japanese. We can’t blame 4kids for this. as much I’d love to, this entire movie is built on these final scenes.

“ya mean we don’t have to fight with each other?”
“but how can I trust ya, you was born different.”
“but how do I know your not going to pull a fast one on me?”
“your right-we do have a lot in common. maybe if we started looking at whats the same, rather than whats different- who knows.”
yes yes, more anti-racism lessons, but I like how they come at it from Meowth’s cynical questioning angle, and how to get out of it.

and overall…..I look at this, then look back the episode with the Kas and Yas gyms or the Tentacruel episode. it had a similar message: don’t make war, make peace and cooperate. so yeah, I really think this is a message intended by the creators of Pokemon. so how do you reconcile that with the pokemon battles? well I think, what is trying to be conveyed here is:

“Competition Is Fine. War Is Not.”
the normal pokemon battles and such have rules you must follow, only one pokemon out, only six pokemon per trainer, things like that, Blaine scolds Ash and said he would disqualify Ash if he kept battling even though Pikachu was in mortal danger. what the Kas and Yas gyms were doing had no rules to it. they were just street fights destroying everything. similarly, there are no rules being followed here in this final fight. its just a bunch of pokemon attacking each other, not a true contest of skill of one-on-one opponents.

Pokemon is a world of competition, and competition is fine! humanity improves through testing our skill against each other and seeing our flaws by clashing our strength against others. we can’t really improve and progress without some competition to motivate us, without competitors to make us contextualize where we are and how we can improve to catch up or stay ahead. its fine to compete against each other- as long as certain rules are followed to make sure no one is truly hurt or whatever. in war, there are no rules. War is survival, not a competition. anything can happen in it, therefore don’t make war, because it will just end up killing somebody. competition that follows certain rules to make sure everything is kept controlled? Fine! completely fine. desirable even.

people might say that competition is the opposite of cooperation, but I’m now thinking that is wrong. survivalism, conflict- thats the opposite of cooperation: every man for himself, do what you can to survive for yourself. competition is cooperation and conflict coming together. its agreeing to certain rules to your conflict to keep it from getting out of hand, its having control enough to not spill your conflict over into the world around you. competition is being able to test your skill and might, and whether you win or lose, still be able to shake your competitor’s hand with a smile after its over. thats what pokemon is about. thats what all these pokemon battles are about: Competition. Not War. a boxing match is different from a street brawl.

sure, you might say that I might be reading too much into it, that this show doesn’t have that much nuance and thought. and perhaps your right. but what really matters in a work of art is not whats given to you, but what you take from it. and if I can take a nuanced message from a show like this…well I’m better off for it, aren’t I? that and this is perfectly consistent with Pikachu’s vacation that pokemon are cooperative creatures: they agreed upon their conflict and the rules beforehand before they did it, thats cooperation about competition.

but I digress, the movie is not finished yet.

“somebody’ got to take a stand, somebody’s got to say no.”
yes yes, turn the other cheek….whatever….

and the fight is down to Mew and Mewtwo….everyone else is pretty much dying…

and of course….this sad scene where Ash dies. and Pikachu tries to shock back him to life …..but Pikachu, don’t you know?….electricity doesn’t work on rocks….:(

I just realized: Togepi is the only pokemon that didn’t get cloned. i’m watching the cheesiest scene ever, where Ash literally comes back to life with the power of tears, and I’m just now noticing that Togepi is literally one of three unique pokemon on the island. mostly because there is a reason for the resurrection of tears thing, by being foreshadowed earlier in the movie by a prophecy, and while I dislike prophecies as a trope, its a still a reason why it happened, so its a not a foul of bull**** out of nowhere writing. so I’m just like…..cool whatever on this scene. but I do like how both clones and the originals were crying for a death. fits with the movies themes. anyways my theory why Togepi didn’t get cloned is that Mewtwo read her mind and therefore decided not to clone an innocent baby.

“the circumstances of ones birth do not matter, its what you do with life that matters”
a good lesson, maybe obvious for some, but you can be surprised how many people haven’t learned that lesson yet.

“but perhaps for you….these events are best left forgotten”-
but of course, everyone in this world is kind of a ****, so Mewtwo drops them all off back where they started with no memory. so your just going to make them go on without learning the lesson they just…..yeah, **** move Mewtwo, **** move. you may be good now, but seriously, **** move.

except for Team Rocket. they’re still on the goddamn island. its just green now. and for once, Team Rocket finds themselves happy for a change. kay.

and that is the movie. I can understand why people like the Nostalgia Critic hate it, why its dislike-able and such and so on. But I’m going to stick my neck out a little as a pokemon fan and say: its not that bad when you think about it. sure the message is really overstated, but if you think about it properly, you get something more than just “Peace not war dudes”. which is basically the movies entire message. but sometimes the greater message lies in thinking about things more deeply, rather than just looking at it from the face of it. after all, taking Watchmen at face value doesn’t get you much. which is why, while its not the intended message, the message I think one should take away from this movie is:
“Competition Is Good. War Is Not.”

now lets get back to our usual commentary upon eternally lost trainers, crazy gym leaders and other such nonsense.

my overall opinion of it....well I can see why some people would not like it, and there are flaws with it, but I like it, sure the ending brings it down, but the resurrection was foreshadowed so it didn't actually come out of nowhere, and I really think its trying to get across a difference between competition and war here. maybe I'm reading too much into it, maybe I'm getting a better message than what it actually intended, I don't know and I don't care. and Mewtwo himself is awesome in so many ways.

[Mystic Muse]

Two little fun facts for you.

First off, the reason the charizard,Venosaur and Blastoise look different. When Mewtwo was being created, he was linked with the consciousness of four other clones (I forget how, probably because psychic). Three of them were the starters, with those weird markings on them, and one of them was the daughter of one of the scientists. However, one by one, each of his friends die off, ending with the little girl, who tells him that he's MORE than just a clone. This was cut out of the 4Kids version.

The next thing is, the speech Mew gives is completely different between versions.

Instead of the cheesy "True strength comes from the Heart" argument, in the original, it was that the original ones were the true ones, and if Mewtwo hadn't given them special abilities to enhance them, the originals would actually win.

Suede, Linkara, and Jewario (may he rest in peace) actually review the first three movies together, and comment on the changes between the American and Japanese version.

And yeah, you've commented on what the implicit message is versus the explicit message. The explicit one is "ALL FIGHTING IS BAD FOREVER. D:" whereas the implicit one is that, as you said, competition is fine, war is wrong. Someone's observation was that, in all likelihood, they're pretty much all using 'struggle' which is a move that damages your pokemon, and is only used when they're out of PP. Which is basically comparable to physically exhausting them completely, then making them keep going ANYWAY.

[Lord Raziere]

yeah, I just want people to take the implicit message away from this rather than the explicit one. and really, no comments other than Mystic's? I was giving you guys time to comment on the movie, but if you just rather I go on, then whatever....

Episode 67: Clueless Conversation Laboratories
and our episode’s beginning is basically Ash finding an excuse to not train and go investigate something for Oak. specifically how the hell does Slowbro work? because what the ****.

Ash! don’t let them see you here, they’ll assume your playing hooky. which technically you are, you just have an excuse to do so.

kay, this Westwood guy is egotistical and kind of weird.

what the hell, Giovanni. why are you here. but say what you will, at least he is friends with his Persian. I guess they have a lot in common.

researchers more interested in Meowth talking than criminals: 3

so its a symbiotic relationship eh? but still the question is not answered: why it is in a spiral shape?

Episode 68: Earthquake Detecting Pikachu.
yet another excuse to not train! yay? surfs up. to be fair, I’m pretty lazy myself. if I was a pokemon trainer, I’d probably be just as lazy about this, but at the same time I’d probably have a more Gary Oak mindset of knowing how types actually work instead of how Ash seems to muddle through his battles.

wow Pooka can detect waves with its tail. how does that work? well its an electric type, so it must be attuned to the earth’s magnetic field, which is connected to the tectonic plates because of the constant churning and rotation of the Earth’s iron core, meaning every time there is an earthquake, it would produce a noticeable disturbance in the magnetic field and thus let Pooka know because waves are produced by tectonic plates rubbing against each other and big waves are produced by earthquakes. if my theory is true, it would make Pooka very useful for detecting seismic activity.

Sidenote: I like how they made Pooka have blue eyes to differentiate it from Pikachu.

Team Rocket gets pikachu and suddenly Deus Ex Gyarados to the rescue!

what the hell Bulbasaur, you can’t catch two pikachu’s at once?

but anyways, Victor gets his flag at the top while riding the wave, and says the lines that Jan said:
“Hey, you can do it to.”

which I think are the best words to say at that moment. like, its not something only some unreachable legend can do- but anyone if they had the time, effort and skill to pull it off. I like this episode for that really.

Episode 69: Confidence and Competence Are Not Related
apparently the only thing that can make Ash actually focus on training, or at least the excuse of training is his mother’s gardening. weird.

and oh crap, Bulbasaur is on pokedrugs. remember: trainers don’t let Bulbasaurs do pokenip and oh and then falls in love with Gloom of all things.

….maybe Team Rocket should go into the scamming business. they are not really good at stealing pokemon, but no one seems to see through their disguises and always fall for their scams and fake stuff, so Team Rocket would probably make better con artists than thieves. just saying, they seem to have a better track record with just scamming people.

man, Florenda sounds like a textbook case of a depressive person. no matter what happens, they blame themselves for it and beat themselves up for whatever bad thing is currently happening.

like now: she has zero confidence, so she dismisses the possibility of accomplishing anything herself out of hand because her self image is of failure.

see? she taught the Gloom freaking SOLAR BEAM. Gloom was competent all along, Florenda was competent all along, she just didn’t have the image of being competent.

“don’t worry Brock, you’ll find plenty of other girls to reject you”-BURN! oh snap! Ash, that was harsh.

but yeah, I actually like this episode, because it showed how an extremely competent person can think themselves a failure because they have nothing to compare their experiences to. mostly because the mindset is that if they are competent, they do things themselves and therefore if they fail it is their fault. problem is, absent of any results of success the automatic assumption is they’re failing. the other side, the competence side, of the Dunning-Krueger effect.

sooooo....yeah. random adventures while we wait for the Pokemon League. don't have much to comment on really, except you'll soon see how his procrastinating tendencies here eventually come back to bite Ash where the sun don't shine.

[Traab]

Honestly, I didnt comment because I only vaguely recalled the movie. I did like how they managed to make it technically noncanon though. I honestly always hated the filler movies and such. They always make the main character seem so much better than he is. Take naruto as a good example. He kicks ASS in the filler episodes and most movies that I have seen. He shows a great deal more skill in those fights than he does in canon, and since they are filler, they dont count. It gives me massive whiplash when naruto wipes the floor with the elite fuuma clan ninja in rice country, then goes back to derping his way through life. Same for Ash, he tends to do way better in the movies than he does in the series. So he kicks ass, helps save the world, then "lol nope!"

[ThePhantom]

Through, the first movie is the closest to being cannon what with all the in-series build up for it. The surfing episode was a bit strange, but I liked it. A good one off episode with some neat things. And it might have been the source of the surfing pikachu, or perhaps it was made to go with that.

[Lord Raziere]

good news everyone after my luck took a tremendous dive with a certain Vs. Battle yesterday, it has decided to rocket sky-high and now I caught a shiny Spinda. I like Spinda by itself, but this one is GREEN! my favorite color. so I named her Lime. I gladly accept the universes payment for this shiny Spinda. now on with the Watch!

Episode 70: I’m Not A Shakespeare Fan Anyways.
and we’re finally going to train….oh wait, Jigglypuff again, nevermind, nap time.

and first recorded time Misty pulled Brock away by the ear, I think.

oh, opening with a Raichu, wrong move Katrina, Pikachu has a bad history when it comes to Raichu’s…

da hell is this guy and why did he steal Team Rocket’s lines. can someone please blast him off already? also if he is mouthing like the Rockets, this probably means he is a failure in every way like them as well.

don’t insult the Wigglytuff or the Jigglypuff. they’re both divas. or prima donna, whatever.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! PIKACHU AND RAICHU ARE DANCING TOGETHER! I guess not all Raichu’s are bad in Pikachu’s eyes…

ok, they’re going to sing-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, THE JIGGLYPUFF IS HERE, EVERYTHING GOING TO HELL FROM HERE.

and the only one left is Psyduck to fill the part. great!

…..the director has reinvented the wheel and made pokemon romeo and juliet -_- and Misty is right, this guy is basically ripping off Shakespeare, who himself ripped off earlier playwrights, who themselves ripped off the Greeks. this guy is about as original as imitation brand bread.

Team Rocket is technically right about not giving up at the first rejection or even the second. this kind of thing takes many attempts to get right.

“Hi fans!”- Hello Meowth!

oh god, now Team Ash is being meta.

um, yes we know, Psyduck can be useful at times. this has been demonstrated before. so why keep beating a dead horse? also, Psyduck ever actually LOST a fight? I don’t think he has, despite his …..Psyduck-ness.

Episode 71: Shattered Meowth Dreams Blues
and yes…this is…..THE MEOWTH BACKSTORY EPISODE! THIS IS GOING TO BE GOOD!

and the first thing Meowth remembers is being alone: no friends, no family, just him on the streets. he was hungry, and lonely.

and of course, the baseball team is a jerk to him because he just wants something to eat.

and then Meowth gets stupid, naive dreams of ice cream and chicken and sets off for hollywood.

Back in the present, Team Ash find out the premier opening is smaller than they expected…but I’m not surprised…

and of course, Meowth is still trying to steal to survive, and is surrounded by a gang of other meowth’s led by a Persian, who then help him steal. cool.

ah, but then! he meets a female Meowth, a young fool caught in love’s spell….

and so we foolishly tries to make himself human, to stand on two legs and talk. he earns his abilities through pain and hardship, through hard won skill. until finally he talks! he walks! he is more.

and so he goes back to Meowzie….and is told that he is a freak. he is crushed. he decides that to show her wrong, he would join Team Rocket, do anything to become rich and powerful….but the dream never comes true… and so Meowth is here, looking back on his old life, all the broken dreams, the run down places he used to go to, reflecting upon what direction his life has taken.

and then the Persian Gang comes in…and shows that they have Meowzie. oh ****.

Meowzie was abandoned by the trainer, and thrown out onto the street because she was out of money. saddening. Meowth tries to get her out, but the Persian Gang has other ideas…

AND TEAM ROCKET ACTUALLY COMES AND FIGHTS FOR MEOWTH! THIS IS…..MAKES ME SO HAPPY……*sniff*

and….then……Meowzie goes and comforts the PERSIAN!? and she still dislikes him because he is a “freak” **** YOU MEOWZIE. **** YOU.

and then Team Rocket comes…does their motto….then dances away. and the director guy is revealed as the failure he is.

and the last shot is of Meowth, wondering if Meowzie is looking at the moon too…

and overall? I LOVE this episode. Its just so completely different. There is no happy ending here. Its an examination of broken dreams, how fragile the bonds of money is, of a person trying their hardest to achieve something they never will reach. setting it all in Hollywood is actually the best setting possible. Its showing what Meowth truly is: a person who started with nothing, tried to get what little he could really dream of: food and love, and accomplished something no other Pokemon EVER DID…only to get shot down for it. meanwhile the film director is clearly failing in creating any kind of good film, the neighborhood around the theatre is rundown and probably going to be torn down soon. sure, Meowth may be a crook, may be evil, but its hard to not feel sympathetic for him after this episode. He was one jewel that never got to shine, and is now fallen into a villain role because he doesn’t really have anything else, and never really did. Meowth is pretty much a victim of his circumstances. the whole thing really is a crying shame.

and really: Team Rocket is all about failure. not just the comedic type, but their backstories are a more dramatic failure due to their circumstances. James despite having all the money in the world, couldn’t stand his family and prefers to a criminal in Team Rocket. Meowth had a small dream, to have love and food and got nothing but cruelty and pain for it, even when he did something that no one else had ever done for it. Is there any wonder why people like Team Rocket when in some cases they are more well-thought compelling characters than the protagonists? When it seems the world around them does nothing but kick them in the teeth for pursuing what they dream as a child, why they turned to crime in response? failure is something we can all relate to after all. if only Team Rocket were the good guys…

Episode 72: Kung Fu Onyx
Only three weeks left Ash! five weeks spent ****ing around! better get started >:D I recommend starting with getting that goddamned Charizard under control. I mean, you wouldn’t want that loose cannon disobeying you in the middle of an important match or something right? that would be stupid yet totally preventable! or perhaps training your Crabby or Muk? those need love. and lets not forget that we have not seen Butterfree in how long? seriously, you haven’t used Butterfree in forever.

so they going off to chase a stupid rumor about one of the Elite Four to bug him to share a secret that he probably doesn’t have at a mountain that he probably doesn’t actually train at. this is a textbook wild goose chase and the only reason they will actually meet Bruno is because plot.

see? Team Rocket isn’t trying to capture Pikachu this episode, they just want food this time, and really, considering its muskrat meat, I wouldn’t be too up in arms about letting them take it.

a road, I think thats an Onix trail, a giant Onix trail….

and of course they meet Bruno, but is Brock ever going to y’know, send out HIS Onix for comparison?

oh crap, Brock basically calls Ash an idiot while begging for Bruno’s help then Bruno is like “are you willing to do everything I tell you?” and I’m like: they’re doomed.

I think that Bruno is just messing with them. he is just making them do useless busy work and hoping the true lesson “work hard” gets into their thick skulls. won’t work man, Brock and Ash are thicker than the Earth’s crust.

“you want to learn the secret of pokemon?”
“yes sir!”
“there is no secret”
as it should be. Kung Fu Panda agrees.

and yep, Team Ash is willing to save the lives of their worst enemies, because they’re good like that. and Team Rocket is too pathetic to really be a threat anyways.

and we see the size comparison….wow, Brock’s Onix is a dwarf in comparison to this one.

oh NOW we are paying attention to the rock type thing…

but really, there is no secret to success or whatever. there is just constant work and refinement to be something better, faster, stronger. you either put in the effort, or you lose.

and while the first of the three is nothing special, its vital to set up the Meowth backstory episode which is in my opinion, one of the best of episodes of Pokemon ever. I'm saying this, no matter what episodes come after it, the Meowth backstory episode is one of the best. it really lays out how Meowth got the way he came to be, it shows what was driving him and how his story is more dictated by the environment and the circumstances around him than him having any real personal failing, and in fact shows how he accomplished something that few other pokemon ever achieved in circumstances that most would consider impossible to do within. to me, Meowth does have the potential to be something greater, all of Team Rocket does, but the circumstances that lead them to where they are now makes sure that potential won't be truly realized.

and of course I like the episode after it, with the "there is no secret" lesson. its not the Meowth backstory episode, but neither is it boring or bad. but really, Ash, you haven't gotten around to at least getting that Charizard under control? really? cause you might to do that, just saying.

[ThePhantom]

Yep, the moewth episode is quite good. And it's nice to see a member of the Elite Four, its quite rare to do so. And the show always shows why those trainers are some of the best of the best.

And congratulations on the shiny, that's quite lucky.

[Lord Raziere]

yeah, every time you see an elite four, you never get the impression that they're crazy or incompetent. there are competent people in pokemon, its just that we are focusing on people who still have a long way to go before they become people like the Elite Four.

Episode 73: Eve Jones and the Giant Pokemon
oh yes they’re finally doing some training, oh hey Jigglypuff. no no! don’t redirect the attacks! attack it now! keep her from singing you idiots! now your all off to dreamland…

no scratch that. your just going to get screwed out of getting credit for discovering ruins. remember, its not about who actually does it, its about who publishes the paper…

and wow, Eve is an archeologist prodigy. and she doesn’t like to boast about it. again, competent side of Dunning Krueger effect.

also, is Pokemopolis the same people who keep putting arcanine carvings up everywhere? cause it would make sense to revere them.

and then Arbok is absorbed into…..some barbel thing that freezes team rocket and seems to have big footsteps. what the hell.

Onix!? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA…….that wouldn’t work even in the games. here, it won’t work, because Onix is pretty much the worf.

poor Jigglypuff the one time they don’t fall asleep….she gets blasted off.

and then the big Jigglypuff comes in and does a deeper voiced performance and it works…but then gets mad and draws on their faces just like the other one.

and Eve theorizes that these are the first attempts at pokeballs. if so, it either has NASTY side effects like mutating the pokemon in question into giants, or pokemon used to be REALLY big in the old days.

narrator I already solved the mystery of whether or not Ash will get around to training: Never.

Episode 74: Whats With All These Poke-Samurai Anyways?
so we finally set off for the Pokemon League! oh yeah. except Ash hasn’t trained in all that time so….he is screwed, as Prof Oak just said.

don’t do it Ash you fool! if you lose all your badges your won’t be able to compete! and of course, Ash is completely sensible for once and says that this samurai guy is crazy.

Ash. no. DON’T ****ING FALL FOR THIS GUY’S TAUNT NO……

GOOOOOOOOODDAMMMMIITTTT…….YOU FELL FOR IT. AAAAAAAAAAAGH.

and defeats the Marowak easily, because in fact this guy has no badges. because he is pathetic like that.

and of course, Team Rocket intervenes to try and get into the Indigo League themselves…

worked hard? most of the badges you earned was through pity or through weird circumstances that happened because of Team Rocket screwing things up. if anything, you LUCKED your way into the League. and even the Charizard fight was because Charizard himself decided to fight, not because your good at training him. you have no leg to stand on work-wise Mr. “I didn’t train at all for the League in two months”

oh and Jessie has decided to take the badges for herself, leaving James and Meowth high and dry. jerk. Doubt she will do well anyways: she only has two pokemon, Arbok and Lickitung, against trainers who have SIX and probably optimized them for maximum effectiveness and flexibility. Jessie might as well be a Caterpie facing a horde of Dragonites.

Jessie, you don’t need to steal MORE badges, just keep moving on. no wait, what you really need to do steal is better pokemon from this guy, do that.

and James tricks her into revealing herself by doing the motto. of course. its compulsive by now. they NEED to do it. no matter what. and Jessie, you are the rottenest. you just stole from your own team.

….shouldn’t Brock and Misty remember this guy from when he battled them?

but yeah, its nice of Ash to help another guy out. weird thing is though: this is like, one of the last episodes before the League and it has a samurai in it, while just before he battled Brock, Ash encountered that bug samurai. I don’t get it, why is there this mirroring here? what purpose does it serve? what is it saying? because I keep noticing the mirrors of earlier episodes for some reason.

Episode 75: Welcome To A Burning Extreme
oh god, Ash is going assume all these people are here for him, when I really think they’re waiting for some olympic torch ripoff. I was right.

Team Ash get out of the way before Jenny sees you, you idiots.

WHAT. no, Ash this is stupid. just let the guy carry the torch himself.

“is that santa claus?”-to be fair, he does look similar enough….

good. Ash understands that he shouldn’t drop it. that he has to keep it safe without being told. at least he understands that.

the president is smart, he has a backup in case it goes out.

and I like the song sequence while they run actually. it really does get across a feel of competition and the spirit of what all this is about.

yeah Ash is actually pretty scared that he won’t win I think. which I kind of like, because most anime protagonists would continue on without a single doubt. Ash actually has doubts about himself, his constant refrain that he is going to win is not out of confidence but to reassure himself that he is capable at all. especially when he has everyone putting down his abilities.

DAMMIT TEAM ROCKET AGAIN. your interrupting the ceremony! and in front of HUNDREDS OF TRAINERS NO LESS! I know you guys always fail, but this is particularly stupid of you. you should be blasting off in record time from all these people here, you think that all these super-competent trainers are just going to let you **** this up for them? hell no, your ass is going to get kicked.

and of course, Ash for once is the only one to see through Team Rocket’s disguises.

Ash…please don’t send out Charizard or Squirtle….please don’t send out Charizard or Squirtle….

the flame doesn’t burn Ash and then the flame becomes alive, blasts off Team Rocket and gets into the torch itself. Guess thats why its a legendary flame and not just some ordinary flame. and heh, Ash doesn’t get burned. get it?

and the Indigo League finally starts!!! I won’t be covering it right now, but rest assured I’ll do the entire thing in one run, because its a big event. it deserves its own spot of attention.

so yeah, the Pokemon League finally begins! in other news, ancient civilizations were still working out the kinks of pokeballs back then, we meet another pokemon samurai at the end of the journey just like we did at the start and apparently the Moltres flame is alive and badass enough to kick Team Rocket's ass without needing anyone else. kay.

[ThePhantom]

Well, Kanto weirdness with those giants and the flame acting like that. And yes, the indigo league is mostly a good stretch of episodes but there are a few clunkers in there.

[Lord Raziere]

I guess we can count both of those as Kanto Weirdness, why not. anyways, time to finish up Season One with....

The Indigo League:
and now for the finale of Kanto: The Indigo League!!! Will all of Ash’s hard work at making Gym Leaders feel sorry for him, catching pokemon through friendship, and slacking around doing random adventures pay off? No it won’t. He will lose, as we all know or this series would’ve already ended. a better question is: why does he fail?

Episode 76: Round One (Of Hell)
and so Ash first has to battle in a water terrain. against some guy named Mandy.

and Team Rocket serves as a way to introduce the guy, he is apparently a magician type of person, fond of showmanship and dazzling displays. Jessie doesn’t like this, and this kind of arrogant and such, so she gets angry…

“act like a tv reporter, not some radio talk show host”- oh BURN, James, burn.

“I think Pallet Town deserves at least one trainer who is not a total embarrassment.”- Gary…..technically isn’t wrong.

Misty is right, Crabby has never battled before. I can say from my own experiences in the games that having a pokemon who never battled before fight is tough. their stats are still wild and weaker, you have to learn a move set and often a new type, and its a takes a little while for them to find their pace battle wise.

If I were Ash, I’d pick Squirtle, Bulbasaur and Pikachu. while Squirtle is good, Bulbasaur is a good to use against any water types the trainer sends out in such a stadium, and Pikachu’s electricity can shock the whole water stadium and thus easily take out anyone trying to take advantage of the arena.

and thus we see the only use for a Jenny: leading people out of a place thats probably easy to get into anyways. wait they actually know they’re Team Rocket? wow. maybe the Indigo League Jennies are just as LEET as the League itself…

Exeggcutor! good choice, Mandy. I had a similar idea. and Ash starts…with Crabby. Really, Ash, really?

and Crabby takes on Exeggcutor and WINS and becomes KINGLER. BADASS CRABBY. er. Badass Kingler I guess. REALLY Badass Kingler, as he takes out a Seadra next

and oh, that is another idea I had: use a flying type. it does matter what the terrain is if your above it, the fact that its a Golbat just makes it downright evil. Kingler can’t hit a flying type, AND Golbat is a poison type and probably knows supersonic. this is probably the worst thing that could happen right now…assuming that Ash doesn’t just use Pikachu.

wait what, Kingler just randomly knows HYPER BEAM. wow. Ash is either lucky or he actually read up on the moves Crabby knows.

and thus does Ash win his first battle….with only ONE POKEMON. THAT DIDN’T EVEN BATTLE BEFORE. THAT EVOLVED DURING THE MATCH. what are the odds. wait don’t tell me them, I want to be like Han Solo. ok, just this once….Ash….has a loser score of…..ZERO!!!!!!! your are not a loser Ash! a winner is you! but how long will that last?

Episode 77: ROUND TWO THREE! FIGHT!
and we OPEN with Ash winning the second round, while Gary snorts and says “he thinks that just because he won two rounds, he has won the whole competition.”
and yeah, Gary is not wrong there. Ash when he goes on a winning streak starts getting overconfident and cocky. and thats when he starts making mistakes.

and Ash is screwing up because….he is hungry. y’know. Ash you basically have a guy who cooks for you, just ask him to make something, don’t be picky and try to go to a restaurant.

oh no. Brock is alone. and there is a reason, why we don’t let Brock be alone.

and now Team Rocket is scamming them out of their pokemon through a fake pokemon center. because hey, lets just follow that beckoning hand down a creepy ally belonging to this blue-haired person conveniently wears things that cover his face, WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG!? THERE IS NOTHING SUSPICIOUS ABOUT THIS, NOTHING AT ALL!

oh, thats actually a good lie James. “this is only a temporary center we use for pokemon league competitions” spares always are poorly maintained and don’t look all that snazzy.

wow, Brock is aware of his own love-sickness. didn’t know he was that self-aware. guess I wasn’t giving him enough credit.

and then Team Rocket flies away with all of Ash’s pokemon. no Pikachu, no pokeballs, no ANYTHING to stop them. how will he get out of this one?

and they move on to ROUND THREE. and they reference hit points. hm.

hahaha! he chose an Arcanine, thats so stupid. Ash’s Crabby can use bubble beam, if Arcanine melts the battlefield it will only STRENGTHEN Kingler, while not dealing much damage! this guy would have to pull some major bull**** out of his ass to plausibly win against Kingler.

oh right. Dragon Rage. hax bull**** move since 1997. always deals 40 damage and is dragon type attack, so hope you like the taste of your ass, cause it just got handed to you Kingler.

this Arcanine trainer is stupid. ASH JUST MAKE PIKACHU USE SOME BIG ELECTRIC ATTACK IN THE WATER OR SOMETHING, HE BASICALLY PAINTED HIMSELF INTO A CORNER.

good, they actually take my advice for once.

Episode 78: Bellsprout is Badass
and we open with Gary……LOSING. dun dun-DUUUUUUN!!!

and Gary is just all like “oh they’ll get over it cya Ash.” as if its nothing, when he was talking all about how he would win beforehand. I think Gary is hiding what he is really feeling here.

WoW. Janet Fisher….is like Gary Oak times ten with her cheering squad. guess they wanted Ash to face a Gary equivalent while still showing Gary losing to somebody else.

Janet seems to be a bug trainer. thats a problem in her pokemon league environment. I’d recommend Charizard but that wouldn’t end well. go for Pidgeotto instead.

Bulbasaur has defeated two of your pokemon so far Janet. you better have something big in store to make this match interesting, cause Ash is handing your ass to you.

Bellsprout. really. you could’ve picked a lot of pokemon for this Janet. but you picked a Bellsprout. sigh. this is going to be one of those super-badasses in little packages again and its going to kick two of Ash’s pokemon’s ass isn’t it?

…..and isn’t this Bellsprout basically kicking ass without any moves? meaning basically, isn’t it doing the same thing all those other pokemon did in the First Movie? but I do admit: its HILARIOUS to watch Ash get his ass kicked by a Bellsprout.

and then Muk comes in and wins the match. good slime.

and heheheh, I like Jessie and James doing a little restaurant version of their motto. they really should go into the selling business.

and this episode finally shows Ash surpassing his rival. guess he has come a long way….

Episode 79: Attack of the Ash Clone.
Ash is riding high on his victory. everything seems to be going great for him. His rival Gary no longer has any place to put him down, he has gotten past the fist four rounds, everything seems to be going great….

….but now a new challenger approaches. Enter: Richie. aka, Ash Clone. and thus we see the beginning of the end….

and already we see Richie being more phenotypically similar to Ash’s mother than Ash. I mean look: Richie pretty much as the same brown hair color as Ms. Ketchum!

and the foil showing begins! Richie is commented as being more mature than Ash, having an idea on how to solve the situation in no time flat, and doesn’t get shocked by Pikachu upon first touching him. Richie also is more concerned with safety than with recklessly charging into danger, is more prepared than Ash

uh James, you could’ve just ran them over if your so evil….

how did Team Rocket get all that great food? did reality conjure it up for them because they were so successful for once?

and Richie demonstrates his preparedness by putting stars on his pokeballs. smart. they do all look the same after all…

WHO BROUGHT A ****ING MAGIKARP TO COMPETE IN THE INDIGO LEAGUE!? did they do it as a joke? to humiliate their opponent?

lol, James has no license and says “Turn attack!”

and of course, Richie sends out HIS pikachu with the cool hairdo.

and so the pokemon are all saved! but Richie and Ash end up facing each other next. and they became such good friends to. and yeah, Richie is basically a mirror version of Ash. Ash, is he wasn’t a loser. Ash, if stopped slacking around and actually got things done in a competent manner. Ash will basically be facing a version of himself that has done everything right, a seemingly out of nowhere replacement for the know it all Gary. Sure Gary had substance behind him, but he talked more than he walked. Richie on the other hand… Richie is the one that is truly Ash if he actually shaped up. which is why it’ll be no surprise when Ash loses to him. the only quibble I have is that I wish Richie was introduced earlier, as maybe one of the other Pallet Trainers. like we could’ve had Gary, Riche and Paul (trust me, we’ll get to him) all there at the start and had a much range of foils and contrasts. but I’ll say more in the actual episode no?

Episode 80: Ash Vs. Ash 2.0
and Richie is built up as even better than Ash, winning all four rounds without losing a single pokemon. and with only THREE pokemon, while Ash had to pull out all the stops. further proof that Richie is what Ash COULD be…..if only he put in the effort required.

and then…..TEAM ROCKET INTERFERES!! and pretty much gets in his way just to be a **** to him. like, they don’t even seem to care about stealing pokemon in this episode, just preventing Ash from getting to his match, probably out of revenge for all the times he foiled their plans. I’m starting to remember this episode more, I didn’t remember that Ash would be late to this one at first.

and he gets there just in the nick of time. holy hell, did Ash cut it close there.

first battle: Butterfree vs. Squirtle. FIGHT!:
technically yes, Squirtle is a good choice against Bug, but sleep powder is a KO in this tournament.

then Pikachu comes in and gives Richie his first LOSS of the entire tournament! Ash isn’t going down without a fight…

and then Pikachu is taken out out by Charmander. down to the last pokemon, Ash! make your choice! you have to beat two pokemon in a row with one! better choose well….

and he chooses…..the goddamn Charizard. Ash you have chosen….poorly.

and then Richie sends in Sparky…..and Charizard takes a nap.

Ash loses the match.

Richie wins.

hey. Ash. remember what I said a few episodes ago?



Only three weeks left Ash! five weeks spent ****ing around! better get started >:D I recommend starting with getting that goddamned Charizard under control. I mean, you wouldn’t want that loose cannon disobeying you in the middle of an important match or something right? that would be stupid yet totally preventable! or perhaps training your Crabby or Muk? those need love. and lets not forget that we have not seen Butterfree in how long? seriously, you haven’t used Butterfree in forever.


Bolded. For. Emphasis. I didn’t even know that Charizard would be sent out in the final match, because my memory of pokemon isn’t that great. Yet I still saw this freaking coming. he could’ve spent those two months getting that stupid Charizard to obey him properly, but nooooooo. we have to **** around with Eve Jones and her giant pokemon or faff about with a failing movie director.

but since he didn’t, he lost in one of the most important matches ever, and not even in a good way. He lost because he didn’t do something incredibly basic and necessary for training pokemon at all: getting them to be disciplined and to actually fight who the trainers want them to fight. He lost EMBARRASSINGLY. He lost in front of a stadium of people, and who knows how many watching this on TV. Ash is no longer a winner. -200 loser score. EPIC FAIL!

at least he congratulates Richie on the victory and doesn’t be a poor sport of it.

and so it goes. Ash has lost because he didn’t do something so basic, not even amateurs make the mistake he made. because he didn’t put in the effort and really are you surprised? Ash’s entire Kanto journey was one case of muddling through things after another. most of the Gyms he didn’t come prepared and didn’t actually win a legitimate battle for the badge he got. he stumbled through it all with luck and determination and then his luck ran out. thats why he lost: because he didn’t prepare, he just muddled through it all without actually thinking. The problem can be seen coming from a mile away, its completely preventable, and it still happened, because Ash procrastinated.

and really, this is all symmetrical or circular again: what was Ash’s trouble at the beginning of the anime? at episode one? getting Pikachu to obey him. what is Ash’s trouble that prevents him from winning? GETTING CHARIZARD TO OBEY HIM. What almost prevents Ash from even becoming a trainer? being late. what almost prevents him from even participating in the match with Richie? BEING LATE. want me to draw more parallels? how about the fact that the second to last trainer he faces is a Bug user? or how he faces a water user, ground user than a bug user in order, mirroring how he first faced a bug user, then Brock then Misty? or how one of the first and last schemes of Team Rocket this season both involve Pokemon Centers?

perhaps maybe- that this isn’t just Ash losing against someone he would be if he was better. Its him losing against his own ideals by failing to live up to them. its all a metaphor for how laziness will keep you from achieving what you dream no matter how hard you want it. anyways time for the final episode of Kanto.

Episode 81: Ash Is Still A Loser
and so we open on Ash being in full depression mode. as to be expected.

“I think he feels like a total loser because Richie beat him”- you mean he has finally realized the truth of his existence?

“are you calling me lazy!?”- Yes. whats your point?

and so Richie loses as well. Gary, Ash, Richie- all lost. you can’t even root for a real winner, Ash.

at least they learn a valuable lesson about learning from their mistakes and getting back up after a failure. which, while just an excuse to continue the series to make more money, isn’t an obvious excuse, its a lesson that everyone should really learn in one form or another.

and the top three trainers are in SILHOUETTES. what a goddamn copout.

and it closes with Ash and Richie vowing to both become pokemon masters and then flashbacks while the awesome theme music plays.

and what is my analysis of this series? what is my judgement of this first season?

well, lets be honest here. its not the best series out there. it can be repetitive, a lot of it sticks to formula, there is just some freaking WEIRD episodes that you question why they were written. the characters pretty much are locked in time, destined to never truly change. there are some truly stupid moments from everyone in one form or another, its cheesy in places, the world is run by crazy people who should’ve been fired a long time ago, and Ash is not exactly the brightest bulb in the box.

but neither is it the worst. there are some episodes that really do hit the mark well, and while it may do it a little cheesy and such, there are lessons to be learned from it, and of course it has action that you can like. Its one of those middling shows that somehow manages to stay around forever despite not being all that outstandingly good or bad. I like it because of the “I grew up with it” effect I guess. you just had to be there to get it, and while I know that its primarily put out for money, I still like it, its just one of those franchise pleasures that while not the best thing in the world, its not at all harmful. Its freaking Pokemon, no one is going to be all that weirded out by it, like how no one is all that weirded out by Star Wars or whatever, its just a world we can all get in some way.

because, I guess, while there is merit in examining the best and the worst of all media, to show what to strive for, what to avoid, I think what is often overlooked is middle of the road stuff like this. why they stick around aside from money, because in some way, for it to be profitable, people need to like it in a widespread way that is sustainable across 15 years. I guess I see that a little now: its not pure shonen about always breaking your limits, but a show that acknowledges you can fail, that doesn’t mean the journey is over.

because well, think of other shonen shows. in Dragonball Z, if the Z-Fighters fail, they’re done. world is destroyed, no do-overs. If Naruto fails, he is dead, no retries. If Ichigo or Luffy or whoever else fails- they die, and therefore there is no room for failure. Pokemon? the fighting is put on these creatures instead, and its a competition and not life and death, thus allowing the situation to actually be more relatable, as people fail all the time. its Pokemon’s acknowledgement of failure after all this hard work sets it apart from other shows. its not about the dream being so far away that the first season is only one leg towards it, its about how the dream was within reach and it only slipped from the protagonists grasp because of their own poor decisions that he has to rectify, much like anyone who gets rejected from the job they want.

So yeah, its not good, its not bad, its middling. but I like it despite that, and I think it knows its middling. Pokemon knows what it is, and its not trying to be anything more. But it still teaches things about loyalty, about the difference between competition and war, about what you should really value, about picking yourself up from your failures and learning to do better the next time around. would I recommend it to everyone? nah. would I discourage people from watching it? no. But I myself like it, despite all the flaws that I am aware about it.

and did I find what I was looking for in this? I went in, trying to figure out where I started from, and I found this last episode that was all about picking yourself up from your failures, about not letting one defeat ruin you. and I think that it might apply to my situation. I will know, that no matter what I decide to do, no matter what I try to achieve in my uncertain future, that I must not let my failures to achieve it discourage me from continuing on, from working on it better and improving myself. that I must never stop trying to adapt and build myself up into something better than I was before, failure only points out what I still need to work on.

as for Ash? yeah, he is loser. I think thats pretty much a thing that will never stop being true. But I can’t find anything truly bad about him aside from being a little slow.

so in summary, Ash got beat by his own clone if he wasn't a loser, Gary lost, Richie lost as well, Ash learned the hard way that he needs to get Charizard to obey him if he is ever going to use him, and we all learn the important lesson about picking yourself from your failures.

now, I know what your thinking: is it Charizard's fault that Ash lost because he wouldn't play ball, or is Ash's fault that he lost because he didn't step up and try to discipline Charizard? My answer to that is: Yes.
Its both of their faults. Both of them are to blame. Charizard has every reason to cooperate with Ash, if he cooperates Ash will use him more and thus eventually send him against the challenges he desires but by being a jerk like this he ensures that he is only used rarely. while Ash needs a powerhouse like Charizard to remain competitive against pokemon with similar power and size and learning to be little stricter with his pokemon would be a valuable lesson for him to learn, especially if he wants to be competitive- even AJ (yeah remember that guy with the Sandshrew?) knew that.

and taken as a whole, my assessment of the first season is that its....average. but its a good average. sure there are some miss episodes, sure that are some that hit it right out of the ball park, but by and large its not the best thing in the world, but its an enjoyable thing thats not the best. sure there is cheese and forced aesops, but really Pokemon is harmless, and it really doesn't matter if its high quality, what matters is that a lot of people seem to enjoy for it whatever reason. and while the Ash losing thing is probably just there to make money, and the whole extension of the pokemon franchise is just to make money but honestly, I wouldn't have Pokemon end with Kanto, not today when there has been so much unanswered questions and new pokemon and such even today.

and as for Ash himself: yeah he is a loser, I'm not denying that. he is not the best trainer in the world. he is kinda slow. but thats kind of the point. he is the Peter Parker of anime. which is actually a nice change of pace from say, Ichigo or Luffy or whatever where everyone is like "OMG, HE IS SO AWESOME!" every time they punch something. he is a hero who will do great things...but at the end of day, he is just this imperfect guy trying to fulfill a dream and has doubts about himself. sure in the second movie there is a prophecy about him but we'll get to that in Orange islands ok? thats Kanto, thoughts?

[Traab]

Sounds about right. Though be fair, this was literally his very first time working with pokemon. His first tournament, and I dont recall HIM ever going to poke school. So unlike you (or me for that matter) he doesnt have an encyclopedic knowledge of pokemon and enough theory crafting to fill an encyclopedia on the most efficient way to kick ass. He is literally learning as he goes, and he is what, 12? 12 year olds are morons. My neice is 12, I wouldnt trust her to walk to the supermarket and back without someone holding her hand. I sure as hell wouldnt let her go on a cross country trek all by herself to pick fights with wild animals and wander through days of forests and plains with no civilization in sight. Oh yeah, and virtually no supplies even. I mean, He has that pack I think, but you arent fitting a tent, food, water, clothes, and emergency gear in that thing.

Back to being an idiotic loser, remember his companions are both gym leaders. By definition they know way more about everything pokemon related than he does. And gary has the pokemon professor for a grandpa, dude has been learning about pokemon all his life. Massive advantage there. So while yes, ash is a moron frequently, thats often only in comparison to people with access to more experience than he has.

[ThePhantom]

My thoughts, the Kanto was a good run for the show. It shows an entertaining story for the audience, a formula that isn't annoying and allows for changes, and a set of good characters that you see fairly often. So, its a good kid show.

And a bit of a thoughts on the episodes, mainly on Team Rocket. They usually are more in the background when the leagues come around, building funds for some big scheme. Here, while they were less of a focus, in episode 80 they pull out all the stops they have to try for revenge. That makes that episode quite a bit more interesting with them being a full threat for once.

[Lord Raziere]

yeah, too bad Team Rocket didn't open that restaurant instead, I think they actually would've been very successful.

Orange Islands
now we go to the Orange Islands, which I pretty much consider nothing but an extension of Kanto. how does Pokemon hold up in its first "filler" arc if it can be called that? does the Orange League count as a legit league? lets find out.

Episode 1: No! Pidgeot! Come Back!
and we start right off with a new opening theme, and in it Tracey appearing right there! Pokemon World is not as iconic as the original theme, but its easier to listen to without feeling like its cheesy, because its some partly rappish. I guess? its good rap though, and the ending of this opening theme is always epic with pikachu blasting electricity into freaking SPACE.

Top SIXTEEN. he may not have won the tournament, but Ash is one of the top sixteen trainers in it. thats a long way from where he started from at least.

Ash: yes, lets send out all our pokemon….except Charizard. he needs to stay in his ball as PUNISHMENT! he no get party for making me lose!

and so Pidgeotto, destined to lose, now has to be replaced by…..goddamn Charizard, who is more interested in FOOD than his FRIEND PIKACHU. what a ****! and only saves Pikachu because Team Rocket destroys the food!

listen? Ash, Charizard is a pokemon that needs a firm hand to hold it on a short leash. you train that stupid dragon like a dog if you want it to listen to you or it will just do whatever the hell it wants.

and we’re off to the Orange Islands for this mysterious pokeball apparently. no other explanation.

ahahahahahhaaha! thats continuity for ya, Ash now has to run from the Fearow that he ticked off as a Spearow waaay back in Episode 1. Guess we’re starting off Season 2 the same way we started off with Season 1: with Ash getting attacked by a bird.

and he lands next to Team Rocket, and are now all caught in a war between Spearows and Pidgeys. guess it scaled up. just like him.

wow Ash, even if they are your enemies, thats still kind of jerk-ish.

and then Pidgeotto become PIDGEOT! aw yeah! finally a reliable fully evolved flying type! I wonder how long it will last.

Ash you idiot, your leaving the Pidgeot THERE!? your reliable pokemon, that while it seems to constantly lose, is dependable compared to the flame tail dragon jerk!? stupid move man. stupid move.

and we never see Pidgeot ever again. sigh. I think. but I’m pretty sure this is to make room for Lapras.

Episode 2: At Least They’re Not Lost
also this opening reminds me: how much do we actually see of Richie since the first season? Pokemon is so long, I’m don’t remember when we actually have Ash’s rivals show back up again to be relevant.

wow, Ash your luck just suddenly spiked big time. thats like, Naruto bet levels of improbability, combine that with the improbability of people offering that as a grand prize right when you need it, this is plot contrivance levels of improbability that your luck has just given you. I guess life must be paying you back for your epic fail at the Indigo League, its the only explanation.

Team Rocket is being transferred to the blimp brigade, a “special and unique important part of our organization” I’m getting the feeling that this is Exec speak for “guys I shuffle off to get killed flying blimps” or something. and yeah I’m right, these blimps are useless and defective, he is just hoping Team Rocket crashes them and dies. poor Giovanni. he doesn’t realize that in their uselessness, its equally useless to try and permanently kill them. they are an inert being, Team Rocket. they can’t make anything change, but nothing can truly change them.

oh goddammit, Jigglypuff is here.

and then they fool around with the blimp and things only get worse from there. there is no way this thing isn’t going to crash…

well, y’know what they say: any landing you can walk away from, is a good landing…and hell, they got Valencia Island, so…guess its a good landing.

Episode 3: Rich Guy Customizes Pokeball, Scientists Baffled.
and hey, look the Nurse Joy, a universal constant.

and now these three glasses girls are showing them to Ivy. a part of me wonders if they’re distantly related to Dugtrio for some reason.

and huh, Ivy is quite a stunner, but her eyes make her look lazy. as if he she is bored at everything. combined with her voice and she comes off as a little too laid back I guess…

and here is that weird pokeball, a golden top pokeball with two strange symbols on it. weird. I never did find out whatever happened to this thing. like I remember it being apart of their adventures throughout the Orange Islands, then they hand to Oak who is like “WTF” and can’t figure it out either, so he makes them go to Johto to find the apricorn pokeball guy, then……I don’t know, I didn’t watch Johto all that much compared to Kanto.

but wait, why would they need to “discover” anything about it? isn’t the pokeball something PROFESSOR OAK HIMSELF invented to catch pokemon? where did they get it? who designed it? why are they puzzled?

the GS Ball is apparently immune to a bunch of things, and can’t be opened. huh. hm….hey Ivy! ever consider that this pokeball might just be some custom job by some rich guy with too much time on his hands and not enough sense made just o he can show off or something? like, we know that at least one rich person put freaking diamonds on their pokeball, why not make another look gold and silver, then put their initials on it while say, encoding it to their DNA so that only they may open it, then design it so that its basically impervious? I can see a rich guy doing that in this world, especially if they intend to capture a very rare or powerful pokemon and doesn’t want anyone else using it.

wait….gold and silver…..G…..S…..this pokeball is referencing Pokemon Gold and Silver. so, it has something to do with Lugia and/or Ho-oh? some rich guy made a pokeball to capture one or the other? I guess that makes sense, but I still don’t know whatever happened to this GS Ball.

assuming this thing IS a pokeball. it could just be some rich guy’s decoration or something, like they want to show off they’re interested in pokemon but not go to the trouble of actually interacting with pokemon, so they just make this custom pokeball replica thing that is just this solid orb of whatever indestructible material its made of made to look like a custom pokeball or something. would explain why it couldn’t be opened: because there is nothing TO open.

but I do like this part where they observe that all the pokemon are a little different in their coloration and looks because of their environment without any of them actually being shiny. we really need more little details like this in the games, because all the pokemon look a little the same after a while. you don’t need make them completely different, just little details like this are good enough, like y’know with Spinda or something.

and apparently Ivy and her assistants do not live up to the feminine cleanliness stereotype, while Brock is more than happy to prove that he can still be manly while being a houseworker. seriously, Brock is so masculine and secure in it that he is able to do things like this and still be considered manly.

and of course, Brock stays to free up room for Tracey. but we know this won’t last. while it seems like he is doing it because this reminds him of his family, he has the ulterior motive of wanting to court Ivy. and to be fair, it seems like a match made in heaven…seems like it…

….Ash, the blimp in question was a run-down wreck that clearly hadn’t been maintained for years, the flight attendants were clearly Team Rocket, you almost crashed and your complaint about it is “the food was bad and there was no in flight movie”!? ok, thats a genuine moment of stupidity right there, or understatement I don’t know which.

wow, Team Rocket actually fixed this blimp up competently!? in such a short amount of time. guess they’re good mechanics at least, which makes me wonder why they don’t just go around repairing stuff, probably make money more reliably…

and heheheh, Team Rocket teases Ash and Misty about being in love without Brock around, but of course they deny it immediately. they need to, as is set down in the Code of Anime Tsundere Courtship Rituals. An ancient and well-respected tome of all the subtle nuances of slowly falling in love while denying that you are to everyone else, and to the true masters of the art, themselves. do not try to hasten it Team Rocket, for it is a subtle and intricate dance they must go through for their love to truly blossom.

and there is the goddamn Jigglypuff once again making them fall asleep….thus making Team Rocket fall out, and the blimp drift off with no one piloting it while its only passengers are asleep. wow this is scary. oh and of course, Brock is off happily being Ivy’s house-slave while this is all happening. just remember that.

so yeah. we say goodbye to Pidgeot, which is sad no matter how rarely used it still was a loyal pokemon, and now Ash has to use Charizard. the blimp episode I think pretty much seals the deal on Team Ash not being stupid, but rather they have the WORST spot/perception checks in the world, or a negative wisdom score. like, they're clearly smart enough to land safely, its just that none of them will ever become a Cleric in their lifetimes- like Team Ash are good people and they know stuff, its just that they are in the same boat as Belkar Wisdom/Spot/Listen wise. oh and then Brock leaves the team to be a glorified male housemaid/butler, and then Jigglypuff is an idiot who makes ships crash. yeah. oh and apparently custom pokeballs are baffling to leading world scientists.....even though Oak invented them.

yeah.....

[ThePhantom]

Okay, I did some checking up. The GS ball was supposed to hold a Celebri, and it was going to be a big part of the Jonto story. However, the decision was made to have Celebri be the star of the fourth movie, so that plan was shelved and it was left at Kurt's hoping that no one would remember it. It was tied to an event in Japan to get Celebri.

And the blimp episodes, I found those to be enjoyable, be the blimp is such a different place to battle, where too strong of attacks to lead to everyone's doom, even through that didn't happen.

[Lord Raziere]

so....the whole GS Ball thing was......completely pointless.

great.

whelp, on with the show:

Episode 4: Tracey, Ash’s Oak Fanboy Friend (Totally Not Brock 2.0)
and so Ash and Misty are now crashed, lost and having no idea where to go, how to get back or anything. sigh. here we go again.

and a bunch of punks abusing a Lapras and their battle are interrupted by Tracey….being Tracey I guess. he just comes out of nowhere and tells all three that their pokemon are underdeveloped then proclaims Pikachu is perfect, more concerned with their health than with the battle around him. and so we are introduce to Tracey…

who then proceeds to be an Oak fanboy, explain the Lapras AND invite himself into being with Ash’s companions in short order. this is episode is really efficient about establishing the ground premise for the Orange Islands: we got Tracey intro, we got Lapras, we got the Orange League being set up all at the same time. no needless dragging out or whatever, just getting everything set up well.

oh god. Ash is going to try to sing a lullaby. maybe if Brock was doing this, we’d have a chance but….this will probably fail hilariously.

oh god. not that little puffball of sleepy madness. does nothing stop this Jigglypuff?

guys, just have pokemon persuade Lapras, don’t be dense.

OH GODDAMMIT TEAM ROCKET NOT AGAIN.

people more interested in Meowth talking than thievery: 4.

oh hey, Ash is somehow fully dressed again. weird. just, out of nowhere. and oh hey, bikes are useful for once, Misty why don’t you just take the bike there, it showed unexplained anyways, might as well keep it.

Ash rescues Lapras, and of course, Lapras is now Team Ash’s ride for the rest of the Orange Islands, and because of plot, probably won’t find its friends until the final few episodes where they are getting off the Orange Islands anyways.

but yeah, Tracey is weird. namely, he is a Brock replacement for…..what reason I cannot figure out. perhaps the writer just got tired of Brock for once and wanted to write some guy different for a change and thought this was the perfect time to do it, knowing that Brock would get turned down eventually at the end of this and accompany Ash to Johto or something. maybe they just wanted to show more trainers than just Brock. maybe they thought they needed a trainer more suited to sunny islands than a guy who uses rock type pokemon. I don’t know, but he is a good change of pace. he is kind of like a young pokemon professor or something, he knows a lot but he has his eccentricities. like stopping in the middle of battle to examine something.

Episode 5: Orange League, Not Sure If Legit
and Tracey proves by sketching the beautiful Gym leader that he really IS Brock 2.0. its just that, instead of propositioning them in the open, he just sketches them from afar, probably to look at their beauty for later.

and here is where things are strange on the Orange Islands: like the fact that you do additional challenges aside from battling in the Gym, or the fact that it takes only four Orange Crew badges to get into the Orange League. I never got information on whether or not all this was canon, or how official the Orange League is, or anything. like. how legit is the Orange League compared to the Indigo one? I mean, does the fact that its an anime exclusive league with no game analogue make it more or less valid? I mean sure Ash wins this tournament, but does it really COUNT? things like that make me wonder.

and yeah, Ash basically ties the Gym Leader a bunch of times. see this what makes me doubt the Orange islands system a little, because while its good to flesh the world out, show how there are people doing different things with pokemon, I’m still not sure on how this maps to the usual pokemon battle and official pokemon league stuff, as well as the fact that matches have to be decided in different ways.

and here is Team Rocket, coming in completely by accident.

“I have an idea, when cars get stuck, you just need to get out and push, so why not get out and push the submarine?”-oh my god Meowth, when did you become so idiotic, thats one of the stupidest ideas I ever heard.

but yeah, Ash wins because Lapras freezing the water and sliding along is apparently rules legal. kay. also: yay a Gym Leader who isn’t a jerk, evil or overly weird!


Episode 6: Enemy Team Up Scenario
aaaand guess. who’s. back!!!!. BUTCH and CASSIDY! oh crap, the competent Rockets here, prepare for real trouble….

and suddenly Pikachu and Togepi turn on their trainers! what the hell.

oh no, they have to rely on a Jenny to solve this, and we all know how useful THEY are…oh and its Ghastly, a GHOST type we all know how reliable those are…

and first time Butch’s name is gotten wrong! its Bootch, not But-ch.

and the two Team Rockets have a motto-off! I prefer the Jessie-James one myself.

and this is pretty much the first time Jessie and James teamed up with Ash for a greater cause. or is it the second?

Ash’s martyr complex is showing again, always putting himself in harms way for everyone else.

and Team Rocket actually avoids getting a reward because they think that being the bad guys is a job they need to do for some reason. but really, between cheering for Ash at points, caring for their pokemon, fighting on the good guy’s side a few times, and so on, Team Rocket are pretty much misguided neutral people with an unhealthy obsession for catching a certain pokemon because lets be honest here, they don’t have a lot going for them other than Team Rocket. sure they create stuff out of the blue, but their inventions get destroyed so fast that it makes me wonder if Team Rocket are just small-scale reality warpers that only possess their powers as long as they remain focused on their insanity, which is what trying to capture pikachu IS: insanity. They have done it so many times they should learned the definition of insanity by now: “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.” they keep trying to capture pikachu and keep expecting they’ll succeed. Team Rocket is definitionally insane. they’re good people, they’re just by definition insane.

so yeah, Tracey is just a nerdier more manic version of Brock, Lapras is basically their living boat, and Togepi can do Metronome. I honestly have little to say about any of this. its mostly just setting up the Orange League in general and how things will work in it. its different which is good, not every competition in pokemon world is a straight battle, why should this be any different?

[Mystic Muse]

Top 16 is actually quite an achievement with enough people. In Magic: the Gathering tournaments, obviously top 8 is better, but top 16 is not only quite respectable, but also as a metric for what are some of the best decks in the format, and if one deck is overperforming, and needs something done to it.

[Shekinah]

I actually like Tracy and kinda prefer him to Brock, myself.

I'll also never understand how Misty is so clueless about Togepi. She treats it like it's her baby, and yet she doesn't notice that he uses Metronome or has quasi-psychic abilities?

[Lord Raziere]

Top 16 is actually quite an achievement with enough people. In Magic: the Gathering tournaments, obviously top 8 is better, but top 16 is not only quite respectable, but also as a metric for what are some of the best decks in the format, and if one deck is overperforming, and needs something done to it.

which means that Ash by this metric is one of the best trainers in the Indigo League, and thats with a Charizard who won't obey him holding him back. imagine how he would've done if Charizard DID obey him: he'd have probably beaten Richie, who being in the same match as Ash, is also one of the top sixteen. doesn't guarantee him first place, but he'd certainly had gone farther. so Ash must be doing something right to get so far.

anyways, lets look at the weirdest three themed episodes ever:

The Untold Red Pokemon Tales Trilogy:
Episode 7: I Can See Into The Ruby Infinity
and just to check……nope, crystal onix is not a shiny onix. pokemon games, you disappoint me.

ok dude, I understand the inspiration thing, being a fellow artist, but there are more ways to get inspiration than just seeing an onix or whatever.

and Venonat leads them to a rock formation…guess its not a perfect tracking system.

and behold! the Marill! always cute and cuddly. if Pikachu wasn’t the mascot, Marill probably would’ve taken its place. I’m serious, if Pikachu was to suddenly be ousted from its mascot position in the pokemon franchise while still at the original 150, Marill would probably be one of the biggest candidates to be pokemon’s mascot instead. They’re cute, they’re elemental, they have the same number of evolved and baby forms, and have the potential to pack in a lot of power.

and, heh, just like Team Rocket to fall for their own traps. they may be able to warp reality so that a trap hole appears whenever convenient, but in turn they fall into one themselves.

oh and the Crystal Onix is immune to water. that is a scary thought. maybe because crystals in a way grow? the Crystal Onix may in fact be a grass type instead of rock.

“how did you escape?”
“the writers can’t figure it out either.”- I can. your reality warpers as long as you are complete failures at everything. you only have the ability to survive and get out of anything and everything because you fail at even being defeated properly and fail at making sense.

“what makes me think we’re going to blow it?”- JAMES! your self aware of your mistakes! quickly! get out and start a legit business! before you blast off and your thoughts are reset again…

whooooaaaa, trippy kaleidoscopic infinite red onix zoom in. weeeiiiiiiird man.

and I like this episode, because its like, showing this weird one-off Onix that you don’t see anywhere else and the guy actually decides not to capture it because of its beauty, and its about an artist finding that spark to make his work SING.

Episode 8: No, Its a Lightish-Red Island
Misty, you failed the Togepi Metronome spot check didn’t you? sigh. really though, I’m guessing that Togepi knows no attacks because Togepi is a Johto pokemon and therefore they haven’t come up with her full move set yet.

they crash landed on someplace called Pinkan Island. kay. um, Ash, do you know where the GS Ball is? the whirlpool might have gotten it…

Tracey, if you really want proof of a pink Rhyhorn, just capture it or something. no one is going to believe a sketch, and photos can well be photoshopped. the only way to prove you’ve been here and that these pokemon are real is to get one yourself to show off. that and you said it yourself, its full of whirlpools and sheer cliffs, so it’d be hard for humanity to destroy the island’s natural habitat anyways even if they found out about it.

also, crystal onix? pink rhyhorn? what next a green Graveler? a blue Golem? Purple magnemite?

ASH YOU IDIOT. LEAVE THIS TO THE PROFESSIONAL.

oh its a protected pokemon reserve. how? Tracey said that no one had ever been on this island. that it whirlpools and such prevented people from discovering whats there, and now a Jenny is there saying its protected? I smell the government keeping secrets….

and the pokemon become pink because of the berries. I wonder how long the effects last, and if I can sneak enough off the island to feed to my pokemon so that they stay pink…..

A JENNY WAS ACTUALLY USEFUL FOR SOMETHING!? WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO!?

oh now your starting to notice Togepi doing things eh?

Episode 9: Once In a Crimson Moon
Kabuto mystery? extinct pokemon? we’ve already done this in Kanto with the Charizard, haven’t we? this won’t turn out well, won’t it? whenever he unearth the poke-past, it leads to big pokemon coming out and causing trouble…

oh Nurse Joy is here! good, we have somebody competent working on this.

I’m getting annoyed by this newsperson already….. I hope she gets karmically punished…

this deranged old man with a prophecy is even more annoying. screw him. especially if he turns out to be right. I hate prophecy stuff, I like my freedom of choice.

they’re not really fossils anymore…..0_0…..

the prophecy was right, screw the old man then. uuuuuugh.

and yeah, weird how these three episodes all involve something red, a strange pokemon on an obscure island and the unique way it works, as well keeping the pokemon and its uniqueness a secret. maybe the writers do everything in threes? like I can imagine the writers saying while picking these things out of a hat: “ok. what will be the theme for THESE three episodes? the color red, unique versions of pokemon and keeping them secret? seems legit!”


so yeah. weird how these three episodes are all so....themed. my biggest disappointment about all this was finding out that the real shiny Onix was merely some dark green instead of that beautiful crystal color. oh well. I wonder if we will ever get to actually customize our pokemon for battles or something. probably not.

[ThePhantom]

Episode 6 of the orange islands. The episode that I HATE. That was the episode that drove me up the wall. I was so upset by it.

Anyways moving on to better episodes, I do like the crystal onix. I wonder if they remembered it when making Meta-Steelix because it looks like its made of crystal. And Tracy is a nice change of place, partly because he has sorta succeeded. His dream is draw pokemon well and this trip is going to have a fair bit of that for him.

[Lord Raziere]

Episode 6 of the orange islands. The episode that I HATE. That was the episode that drove me up the wall. I was so upset by it.


huh really? odd. but I'm not going to pry. we have more important things to move onto.

Episode 10: Poke-Ventriloquism
so Team Ash are going on a show boat where the show is entirely acted by pokemon….
please don’t let it be another Sphielbug episode, that guy is full of fail.

bah, those pokemon are just being lip-synched with their trainers. Meowth’s the only real poke talker.

see? I was right. and now Ash has to help them get along with electric types hm. ok…

Tip 1:
be prepared to endure electric shocks constantly. build up a resistance, because it will be happening throughout all your days. be sure to purchase rubber gloves!
Tip 2:
beware of three pathetic crooks always trying to catch it. they will never stop hounding you, so be sure to constantly use your electric type to send them flying.
Tip 3:
finally, and this is most important, always use your electric type to reawaken somebody! its perfectly safe, honest.

huh the first tip is actually useful to this situation? that was just a joke. but yeah, electric type trainers have got to be prepared for lots of shocks if Pikachu is any indication. you can’t be afraid of getting a little hurt around pokemon if you want to train them.

I actually like how they end with Ash and Pikachu lip-synching in the final show.

Episode 11: Golduck, Misty’s Awesome Pokemon (Totally Not Just A Showoff)
Misty temporarily loses Psyduck, and this leads to girl talk about water pokemon. kay.

hm, we never actually saw Psyduck evolve…

wow, Team Rocket NOT doing their motto? won’t last, they’ll have to do it eventually. its in their contract.

hm, something about this Golduck is just too good to be true…

yeah.
“its just a pokemon version of Brock”- yup, some things really are too good to be true. poor Misty, don’t worry, I’m sure your Psyduck will evolve and be as awesome as that someday.

but wait, what is stopping you from going after it, battling it, and throwing your pokeball now?

Episode 12: A Joy And Her Gyarados.
huh, is that a Black Joy? points for diversity I guess.

and Tracey continues being a Brock Clone by noticing minuscule details that impossible to pick out to anyone else. but he didn’t mention the darkened skin? at all? the one detail that is y’know. truly different from all other Nurse Joys?

I like this little montage of them helping Nurse Joy out. Team Ash really are good people even if they’re not the brightest sorts. they volunteer to help others out and care for others routinely, thats a good hero in my eyes. that and pokemon trainers need to know about medicine themselves in order to heal their pokemon out in the wilderness, so its basically apart of their pokemon training.

oh no. Joy is missing…..and NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO JIGGLYPUFF! WE’RE ALL DOOMED!

……Meowth, your secret weapon is a NET? thats……not all that secret dude…

and Nurse Joy is more concerned about the Spheal than her current predicament. thats Compassion 5 for you.

suddenly! the giant Magikarp.

“how did it know to come here?”- good question Tracey. good question.

and so Joy and her Gyarados save the day. though honestly, I think its only a normal sized Gyarados now. and really, this is what Pokemon is at heart about: compassion and loyalty, bonds that are stronger than any material thing in the world. Joy and her Gyarados is a prime example of this. also the theme of not judging a book by its cover, or hidden potential- just because a Magikarp is useless now, doesn’t mean it can’t become a powerful Gyarados.

honestly, I like how Misty isn't really above it all and is just as vulnerable to a Brock type of person trying to impress her as Brock is about getting turned down. but the real good episode is the one with the giant magikarp and the black (possibly very tanned) Joy. I mean, a giant Magikarp defending a Joy who goes forth and heals pokemon without a pokemon center and evolving into a friendly Gyarados, I can't think of a better episode to showcase what pokemon is about. not so far at any rate. beware of magikarp my friends, for they could always be a hidden Gyarados at any moment....

[ThePhantom]

Ah, the tanned Joy and the giant Magikarp, that was a good episode. We don't often get the chance to look deeper at the viewpoint of the Joy family, so the chance is nice. Even if its a little difference than the norm for that family.

[Lord Raziere]

yes, definitely one of the better episodes, these however, may not be:

Episode 13: Danny, Navel’s Pretty Boy Gym Leader (Totally Not Getting Fired)
oh no, I think the charmer is the Gym Leader, and now Misty is falling for the same Brock **** that Golduck did….

Danny is a **** at the very least. climbing up a mountain is actually pretty dangerous, especially since none of them have any y’know…..ROPE. Ash could fall and die! there goes my hope that the Orange Gym Leaders would be less evil/dickish/crazy. now I have proof that the charmer endangers the lives of every pokemon trainer that comes by, what happens if they fall and die without their pokemon to help them!? then their pokemon would be trainer-less and it would be all the Gym Leader’s fault! there is waiver to sign, so I’m pretty sure this is some of kind of endangerment.

and Ash loses the first round because Lapras is not exactly the fastest of pokemon, at least not when it comes to attacking….

…but wins the second through luck because Charizard is a ****. sigh. at least he didn’t LOSE this time.

and wins the third legitimately. cool. but yeah. Danny, what the hell man, why the climb. people could die from that, and I don’t see any pokemon in your arsenal that can help with it.

Episode 14: The Unstoppable Snorlax
so they’re going to some grapefruit islands, and Jigglypuff is not far behind. this won’t end well.

I guess Team Rocket is stealing grapefruit because they’re hungry….its so obviously Team Rocket, its just a wonder if they’re doing this for their own hunger or for money…

oh no wait, its a Snorlax. yeah, this is gonna get complicated….

Ash, your going to have to battle it. its the only way. all else will fail, pokemon battles are the only way to truly solve anything in this world. you know this to be true…

oh Ash, you naive fool, you think Snorlax will be stopped by mere water? please, Snorlax can learn the move Surf y’know.

“Stopping Snorlax AND Team Rocket won’t be easy”-well, stopping Team Rocket will be easy. Snorlax on the other hand is pretty much unstoppable.

sleep? oh. I see where this is going. We need to get Jigglypuff. one unstoppable weapon of chaos to fight another I guess.

and Ash shakes off the sleeping effects long enough to capture the Snorlax, cool. then goes to sleep himself.

yes. Snorlax does have a special ability to make trees grow back. its called ****ting. Snorlax was probably leaving all the seeds of the trees behind with its waste. but of course, we can’t show that on TV….

Episode 15: Ghost Ship To The Moon!
so Team Rocket has stolen an old trophy. huh, they actually successful. I’m starting to think that the only reason they fail is because Team Ash is so used to them that they automatically know what to do and how to fight them so that they win.

as usual, Team Rocket ends with a peddled vehicle. you’d think that with all that peddling their legs would be strong as athletes or something.

and they end up on a ghost ship. aw crap, the maiden’s peak Ghastly isn’t up to his old tricks again isn’t he?

also, did we ever get a Ghost/Water type pokemon? cause I just realized that some sort of Ghost/Water type would be perfect for a dead pirate theme or whatever.

um……guys? no. that trophy belongs in the museum. just because a Ghastly and Haunter want it back doesn’t mean they get to have it back. the authorities are just going to eventually take it back anyways with greater force and numbers, thinking that Ghastly and Haunter are the thieves, your solving nothing. oh, they’re just going to the moon then. yes. lets just let two ghost pokemon irrationally take a priceless artifact for themselves so that no one else will ever see it just because they’re living in the past. GREAT idea. they could’n’t have just compromised and have the Ghastly and Haunter guard the museum?

anyways, a century later, a Bisharp accompanying the first astronauts on the moon find the old wreck of the ship and then defeats the two ghost types and brings back the trophy as proof, saying that the ship for some reason is on the moon. the world soon knows about this and are left scratching their heads in wonderment whilst many conspiracy theorists think its the work of lizard people pirates trying to eat peoples brains or that they faked the landing.


so we got past the second Gym that heralds the return of the Gym being dangerous places run by crazy people, then we got the episode where Ash captures a Snorlax who seems to be unstoppable and can eat out entire islands, and then we get this stupid episode where Team Ash goes on a quest to get back a trophy then leaves it there because two ghost types who can't move on still want to guard it, and then the ship is taken to the moon because.....um.....ghosts are magic? I'm calling Kanto weirdness on that one, don't bump into Enel while you go, he'll want to melt that trophy down for more gold for his own ship.

[Traab]

Jeebus man! I go to bed for the night and wake up to like, 15 episodes you blew through! heh, as for the whole brock 2.0, thats all about really smart programming. See, people like familiarity, but they also get bored of it. Its kind of a catch 22. So what tv show producers and writers try to do is add in enough significant new features without altering the core concept of a show to keep peoples attention. Pokemon is tailor made for that. The pokemon battles are a constant theme, but the ever changing lineup of new and unusual pokemon with strange and different powers keeps the battles fresh. When it comes to Ash and his crew, the reason they replaced brock is similar. They had to shake the team up a bit, while still keeping it mostly familiar. Two guys and a girl. Plus, psychologically speaking, the number three is a big deal for people. You will notice patterns of three run through a lot of things.

But with the familiarity thing, eventually it isnt enough. You have to make bigger changes, because the standard stuff is getting old. So in future seasons, ash finds himself fighting in totally new battle types, things like the tag team fights for example, or may and those pokemon beauty contests. Once again, mixing familiar with new to hold our interests. The real secret is doing it at the right pace. Keep adding in new stuff too quickly and you run out of ideas, or change the entire show too much too fast and lose people who watched the show for what it was before. Too slow and they get bored and stop watching. Pokemon did a really good job with that balance.

[Lord Raziere]

well Traab, keep in mind, that I'm technically already finished with Orange Islands by now. I'm still trying to catch you guys up to where I am. thats why I'm posting all this so fast: I've already watched most of this weeks ago. my actual watch is on pause until we get to the end of the Orange Islands. where then we will go at my actual pace starting with watching Pokemon Origins.

but I do like how you basically laid out the reason why pokemon is so successful and long-running: it really does know how to keep things familiar yet provide freshness at the same time.

Episode 16: No Coin Can Pay For Friendship
y’know, I actually feel kind of sorry for James. his most valuable possession in life is a vintage bottle cap. thats the only thing he can honestly say that he owns and treasures. no wonder Team Rocket keeps trying to get more money.

and Meowth gets catapulted onto an Island where they await this Meowth of Bounty….apparently their Meowth is some sort of plant fertility figure destined to bring good harvest, I’m guessing. yeah. they’re going to get abused like hell by Meowth.

I was right, complete with lots of food and dancers. but Meowth spots Tea Ash, knows they’re going to blow this for him, so he says to them that that Team Ash is very dangerous and tries to turn the islanders against them. this will probably backfire somehow, nope it doesn’t!

but it does lead him to throwing Jessie and James off as well, and Meowth is clearly guilty about betraying his friends, even if he is evil.

and then Jessie and James throws their last money away just so that he will be spared from being tormented by people who just want him for Pay Day….even after he betrayed him……the feels…..I have them…..

but of course, they go off into the sunset together again. Team Rocket: even evil has got to have friends.

but of course at the end of the episode they attack him to make him learn Pay Day. sigh. Meowth, you can just never win. I like this episode actually. it shows that Team Rocket despite all their greed, still are people, still have friends, and can still do what they think is right, even if they don’t think they’re doing that. really the only thing that stops Team Rocket from being outright good guys is their lack of empathizing with people outside their little circle.

Episode 17: Not All Bug Types Are For Beginners…
and so we come to a bug island. aka MISTY’S HELL ahahahahahahaha!!!

we actually remember that Ash once caught a Caterpie? unbelievable! also, where is your Butterfree again, Ash? I honestly can’t remember the last time you actually let it out of its pokeball. I think it was some time in Kanto. yeah thats right: Ash’s Butterfree is used so little, that entire seasons go by without it showing up. it might like, show up once a season or whatever compared to Bulbasaur or Squirtle, who get used every few episodes at the very least, Pikachu is obviously always there, Charmander used to be used just as often as the other two starters, but now obviously just sits in its pokeball as a useless Charizard, and Pidgeot was used now and then more often than Butterfree but…now its GONE, but even then Charizard gets more screen time than Butterfree. Ash’s first caught pokemon, the one he probably worked for the most to legitimately capture, we just….almost never see. because Ash apparently forgets that pokemon exists.

but then again Bug types in general suffer from a certain “Beginners Curse”. like you catch a Weedle or a Wurmple or something early on, raise it, train it up so that you can see the awesome butterfly or bee or wasp or whatever form and then….soon you find some other pokemon that looks cooler, catch it, switch it out to raise that, and soon you find that your level 16 Beedrill has been left all alone in the computer storage system all this time while you’ve been out raising whatever cool Fighting or Dragon type you have to defeat the sixth Gym Leader, and now you feel sad because you’ve been neglecting the Bug type cause you were meaning to get around to raising it, but there is just so much other pokemon to raise and fight with, combined with the fact that I don’t know what exactly Bug types are resistant and weak to and such, and the fact you never see any high level Bug trainers all that much….well lets just say that the Bug types early evolution stages might actually work against them in that respect. where were we again?

“At least they’re not bug types-“Misty, referring to Venonat and Marill.
……Venonat is not a bug type? *checks* YES IT IS A BUG TYPE. SAYS SO ON BULBAPEDIA. Misty, you must be delusional or something. or perhaps your just rationalizing for the sake of Tracey or something, I don’t know, but Venonat is a Bug type.

oh but, we encounter the Scyther the most badass of all Bug types. the exception that proves the rule. seriously, I’ve had pokemon 4-5 levels higher than wild Scythers take lots of damage from them, and they are hard to capture in game. don’t mess with Scythers. probably goes double for Scizors, their evolved form and far more rare because you can only get those through trading.

and thats how you catch pokemon: put em to sleep so they don’t struggle, then throw.

and now Scyther senses the swarm being captured somehow…I guess Scythers have spidey-sense or something….and its going to try and save them.

wow, even the Scyther are scared of Jessie when she is all angry about her bad haircut…

and Scyther says it can beat Team Rocket by itself….while still weak. ok then. PROVE IT!

you proved it, cool, but Um Tracey…..you did it wrong! Ash has to show you how its done. You hold your pokeball in FRONT of you, then go “Yeeeah! Alright, I caught a SCYTHER!”

and no it does not surprise me that Ash actually does this and isn’t just some stylistic thing. they live in a world where three criminals have an obsessive-compulsive urge to always recite a certain motto when doing their crime while making cool poses for no reason every single time they do it. all else is not surprising after that.

Episode 18: Ash Ketchum’s Day Off
and so Team Ash comes across an island where Farfetch’d are apparently common. great! except if they tried to catch one it’d probably turn out to be some Farfetch’d wild life reserve or something, because Team Ash can’t have nice things. but yeah, this is a Day Off episode

ah great, now the Scyther and the Charizard are at odds with each other. they probably see each other as fellow warriors but don’t like each other’s attitudes or something.

ah but Team Rocket is taking a vacation as well….but interrupt it themselves to steal pokemon. again.

and then….Jigglypuff randomly shows up! because Jigglypuff.

hehe, James nose extends for a moment while he says that he and Victreebell get along.

yeah, Snorlax really foiled them there. and I guess those two were just flexing their muscles at each other. and hey, I like that the Farfetch’d appear back at the end, whacking Team Rocket. and I actually like this episode, its more about the relationships between the Pokemon and their trainers than anything else, just a little thing about examining how they interact with one another and what the problems are with training certain pokemon.

the latter two episodes are good, but nowhere near as good as the Meowth episode, its another Rocketisode that really shows what Team Rocket is all about underneath all the greedy opportunistic attempts at stealing other pokemon: they are outcasts, exiles and they really don't have anybody but each other to look out for them, they may be evil miserable failures, but they're evil miserable failures together.

[Traab]

I remember scyther, isnt he kind of an old veteran pokemon? I seem to recall him having some subtle tells of age like wrinkles around his eyes and such.

[Lord Raziere]

yeah. Scyther is kind of like one of those lions who used to be the alpha cat but then got too old and now he needs to live alone by himself. Scyther is badass no question but every time you see using something like Swords Dance, you can see him panting afterwards. Scyther tires out easily. its really a shame that we don't get to see more of Tracey's Scyther but that might be for the best: Scyther being an old warrior dude probably isn't fit for the big leagues anymore, spending his days protecting a lab assistant and a great professor might just be the best thing for him, considering how easily he tires out, I wouldn't use him in a competitive environment no matter how badass he is.

Episode 19: Prima, Mistress of Over-Said Platitudes.
oh no, Ash has started to be an overconfident braggart again, quick prepare for loser humility smackdown!

so this Prima is apparently some celebrity or whatever suddenly she just shows up out of the blue! but….doesn’t seem to know that other people exist, and seems to focus on other things when people are talking. hm. does something about her just seem a little….weird? that and whoa, look at that bust! I mean, why did they make it so big?

um Aaaasshh? you should’ve gone with Snorlax? he is powerful, and probably more obedient than Mr. Too Good To Obey Lizard.

Ash, listen to Prima, she knows what she is talking about. at some point, you really need to get around to make Charizard obey you.

Ash your being a reckless idiot this episode. Prima is going to slap you down hard in this match. and yeah, I’m guessing being a Pokemon Master requires some inner strength as well as outer. need to know yourself as well your pokemon.

and the episode ends with Ash beaten, the team parroting her lessons, and them going to the next Gym. kay. eh, Prima in hindsight just kinda seems to be spouting platitudes a lot. it just seems like an episode where the lesson had to be spoon-fed to the trainers than actually learned.

Episode 20: Nidorino and Nidorina
…..this is pokemon Romeo and Juliet with Nidoran isn’t it?

Pikachu, your supposed to be looking for Maria, don’t get distracted by the delicious berries.

*facepalm* they find out that another Nidoran ran away, named Tony, then they unite again and both trainers accuse each other of stealing the others Nidoran….ugh, idiots.

they find the Nidoran in love…..and go “nope! your too good for that Nidoran!” yup this is Romeo and Juliet: The Nidoran version. let me guess: the Nidoran find some way to sneak out and meet each other anyways while Team Ash tries to persuade them to let true love blossom or whatever, meanwhile Team Rocket somehow comes in and either persuades them to run away with them from their trainers or just outright steals them and Team Ash has to get the Nidorans back at the end, the two Trainers then learn their lesson and let their Nidoran romance each other all they want. now lets see if I’m right.

they even refer to the male Nidoran as “Romeo” at one point! not even being subtle about this.

…..Misty your plan to make the trainers fall in love is stupid and will backfire with probably ridiculous results. once they figure out that neither of them sent the letters, they’re going to turn that hatred on YOU.

“aren’t you going to get arrested for mail fraud?”- Ash, you for once, the voice of sanity. please, remain in this state forever, Misty has taken a leave of her wits.

“they are not mature enough to admit it but they actually like each other”
“Like you and Ash!”- ah Tracey, you fool, you poor, poor fool. those two will NEVER get together…Ash is already married to becoming a Pokemon Master.

….wow, those Nidoran are loyal despite all the convincing. looks like Team Rocket is going with their usual plan after all.

see? Misty’s plan backfires spectacularly. its amazing how she picked the exact gifts to make them hate each other more. Misty epically fails at matchmaking.

and Team Rocket has JESSIE be the groom and JAMES be the bride in their disguise. heh, thats probably how Jessie and James actual marriage would go.

“if you had never been fighting, this wouldn’t have happened.”
hm? I dunno, Team Rocket would try to steal the Nidoran regardless of whether or not their trainers approved of the relationship or not. I think Misty is just looking for a scapegoat. if Meowth had actually persuaded the Nidoran though, then you might’ve had an argument.

and they evolve! cool.

“did he say alls well that ends well?”- James, breaking the fourth wall for about….the fifth time I think.

Episode 21: The Shocking Shocking West.
…..Mandarin Island has a desert, a forest with a little town and we haven’t even gotten to the Gym yet. it must be HUGE.

and we meet a cowboy with a herd of magnemite who goes around absorbing lightning and giving the energy to towns around Mandarin Island, with a Jolteon companion. this is so awesome.

and Ash now has to herd the magnemite because of Team Rocket. of course.

Ash, JUST USE YOUR OTHER POKEMON ALREADY!

yeah thats nice Ash, just hope that they didn’t waste too much power on blasting Team Rocket off instead of y’know. powering the town.

I actually like this episode. its about pokemon being useful in society and combining it with one of the more iconic pokemon out there as well serving a purpose that few other pokemon can replicate, and I could actually see Ash being a magnemite wrangler if he wasn’t an eternal competitor. seeing magnemite evolve into magneton and Team Rocket use magnets to get magnemite, learning from their mistakes at Gringy City is just icing on the cake.

and the concept of a cowboy who goes around gathering lightning to power towns is by itself a really creative idea I must say. the whole thing is a modern twist upon the cowboy cattle herder that makes sense.

yeah, I don't like the Prima episode. its just: "look at this random in-universe celebrity that just showed up! its she isn't awesome!? thanks for teaching us, we're idiots! goodbye, we will never see you again!" and I'm like: ".....what is this, a one-episode Mary Sue or something?" because Prima does sound like she is written like a Mary Sue, and everything she says just doesn't sound all that original or compelling even if it is good advice, so I'm just like......"what."

the Romeo and Juliet Nidoran episode was just like meh, cause well....I never liked Shakespeare anyways.

but the wild west episode? awesome! creative, a real problem you could see arising, a use for magnemite that does two things at once, just all around a great episode, on par with Tan Joy and her giant Magikarp.

[ThePhantom]

Prima is actually a name change. The character is really Lorelei, of the elite four. Not quite as good an episode of that type goes but its okay as it starts the process of Charizard listening to Ash. I do like the scyther and electric herding episodes, they were quite good, and while Scyther can't battle for long, he gives Tracy fighting potential which is handy when Team Rockey keep showing up.

As for the idea that Ash and company are really good at fighting Team Rocket, that's correct. Remember, they had a wanted poster, just for them when they first showed up. Until they focused on pikachu, they were some of the best agents in the Kanto region.

[Traab]

The cowboy episode is among my favorites, because I really enjoy the episodes that show just how different the world works with pokemon around in it. From simple stuff like machokes and machamps helping with construction, to pikachu generator backups. It really helps illustrate that this isnt a normal world where people have legal dogfights, its a world where people and pokemon have a form of symbiosis that alters how everything works.

[Lord Raziere]

yeah, I mean no one even bats an eye at Ash riding around on a Lapras, or police using fire-breathing dogs, or Nurses having their own pokemon to help with the healing. and thats not even getting into some of the later pokemon like Rotom or Tropius, or how no one seems to be all that concerned about being hugged by whats basically a living pile of slime with no worries of being poisoned. Pokemon must be such a part of everyday life that people must have different standards of safety and alertness to danger; after all, if they truly need someone to go into a dangerous environment, they don't need a highly designed environment suit for that, they just need a pokemon that withstand that environment and is reliable enough to do the job to go and do it, while trainers can feel secure that whatever they encounter, they have creatures that blast flame and smash rocks apart to fight them and win so why keep on the lookout?

maybe thats why people are so unaware of Team Rocket? they feel so secure in Pokemon's abilities that Team Rocket coming out of nowhere is like one of those random encounters while walking through the grass: you don't see it coming but once it happens its completely manageable. and why Gym Leaders are by my standards at least, crazy: they have pokemon around to help them with the dangerous environments they design in their gyms, so most of the time they don't actually have to worry.

Episode 22: Getting The Sewage Out Of The Office
“The Mystery Menace”? wow, thats the most generic title I ever heard of.

So…Team Rocket’s trap backfired horribly. again. No one would ever see THAT coming.

awfully clean for a sewer….too clean…

and this mayor seems awfully sure in his power….and right in front of an officer who is all about the real laws around here, so I doubt what he says is going to fly, this is not a dictatorship, police take orders from the police chief and such

yeah, this mayor is basically a fearful coward more concerned about elections and his image than the safety of his people. a run of the mill politician then!

yeah, Nurse Joy is the only one speaking out against the mayor’s idea to send a SWAT Team to destroy this creature (I don’t see why they don’t just admit its a pokemon already, it looks like a vine whip and there has been little evidence of other creatures aside from worms and fish) again demonstrating that only Joys are useful.

so Ash, brings in Muk to help him with this. I guess its either that or Squirtle.

wow, the Mayor decides to seal up the entire sewers? um. dude. that will only cause problems down the line for your plumbing….ok, more literal and sooner than I thought, but yeah, you brought this on yourself, Mayor, now you got everything flooding from the sewers and now you won’t win reelection at all.

and thats why you don’t be cruel to pokemon: it will only come back to haunt you and screw everything up. hell, thats why you don’t be cruel in general. people have long memories for cruelty and have little compunction about giving you exactly what you deserve because of your actions, so be kind. or no one will be your friend.

Episode 23: Rudy, The Most Passive Aggressive Jerk Ever
yay, they saved a little girl…..only now this douche is trying to be mother****ing Prince Charming on Misty. goddammit.

and this Gym leader is more concerned with courting Misty than actually doing his job, what the hell. all Gym Leaders are crazy! speaking of which, Misty why are you falling for this Brock-bull**** all over again? he is just doing what Brock would do if he was more focused on softness and pretty words than toughness and show-off actions. your really no better than Brock when it comes down to it.

ooooh an early picture the top part of an Elekid! nice catch Tracey.

oh god, little girl, please stop talking, talking about how she wanted a big sister like Misty is creepy for some reason.

I really don’t any episode in any show where these characters just keep bringing up how they wish the traveling character could just stay here forever even though, like in most instances they’ve only been there for like a day, and have other things they want to do with their life, and is really asking a lot of them, especially when Misty in this instance already has a home in Cerulean City, it makes me think that these people are being passive aggressive ***** trying to pressure her into staying and trying to guilt trip her into changing her entire goddamn life just for people she has just met or something. I mean what the hell? Misty, these two people? you’ve only known them for a day, shut them up with their stupid “Oh I wish you would stay” bull**** and leave!

and Misty finally kicks that stupid “stay here” bull**** in the crotch by encouraging Ash to win. you tell him Misty!

Episode 24: Prototypical Pokemon Mystery Lost
another giant pokemon island episode? we’re already starting to repeat ourselves it seems like.

and Ash falls for a fruit basket in the middle of the road. y’know, I’d warn him to not bother because its clearly a Team Rocket trap, but at this point I think its pretty clear that Team Rocket reality warps peoples intelligence so that they always fall for their traps, so why bother?

Tracey speaks sense on this one. Team Rocket has a history of making the worst traps ever.

Wow, the one time they see right through that ploy, they fall into a trap hole for the safe-looking tree. Team Rocket must have pulled the ol’swticheroo, or just plain put trap holes near both so that whatever they do, they fall in.

and heh, Meowth is now tied together with Pikachu. and then kidnapped by a Pidgeot.
“can’t you do something Pikachu”
*shocks Meowth*
“Not me, the Pidgeot!”
*shocks the Pidgeot and Meowth*
heheheh, Meowth is getting what he deserves.

why only giant Pidgeot? can’t Tracey tell Marill to listen for a talking Meowth with a Jersey accent and pikachu as well?

and Meowth recognizes that Pikachu can’t be argued with, so he tries trickery instead….and it doesn’t work, because Pikachu is too savvy to fall for that. really, Pikachu is actually the sanest person out of all the cast.

…wait, how do we know that Rhydon is actually bigger? I mean the Pidgeot is big yes, but I’m not as sure about the Rhydon.

ah, two pokemon working together to take down a bigger one. the faint glimmer of the future Pokemon Mystery Dungeon is strong in this episode.

oh HELL YEAH! Snorlax gets to do something!

and yeah, Meowth is actually starting to miss Pikachu. the thought of just joining Team Ash never crossed his mind.

Episode 25: Finally, Ye Ungrateful Fire Lizard
ye gods, Misty he didn’t mean it like that, stop taking comments like that in a good way.

and this is the episode call “Charizard Chills” hm, good, I get to watch Pokemon 2000 soon.

anyways, Pikachu loses to Poliwrath, then Ash sends out goddamn Charizard, who is a **** as ever. Ash, stop pleading. your pathetic like this. you need to be firm with this kind of pokemon and make sure it follows your commands! you don’t ask, you COMMAND!

guys, just dip Charizard’s tail into the fire, to rekindle his tail-flame, this is not hard.

“look Charizard, I may not be the greatest trainer in the world”-True
“sometimes I don’t do the smartest things”- HE ADMITS IT!
“and I make lots of mistakes”-thats for sure.
“but I always try my best, and I think I’m getting better.”- I’ll give you that. but yeah, this is basically acknowledging that Ash is just human. I’d honestly rather have him as the protagonist than some other animes where they make the protagonist some weird pseudo-messiah for no reason.

yeah, FINALLY REMEMBERING THAT HE SAVED YOUR LIFE WHEN YOU WERE CHARMANDER, AREN’T YOU!? ungrateful dragon! you’d be dead if it weren’t Ash y’know, and you’ve been treating him like dirt, so I hope you shape up after this Charizard.

Good. your shaped up. after oh, I don’t know, getting your life saved for the second time. better start learning how loyalty works, because at first you were too loyal, an then you weren’t loyal freaking enough. ugh.

and now it time for Pokemon 2000.

yeah four this time cause Pokemon 2000 has Charizard obeying Ash in it, so I'm assuming it takes place after episode 25. but yeah, I don't like the third Orange Gym Leader, the episode with the mayor was just the Mayor being the biggest idiot imaginable, the one where Meowth and Pikachu are lost together....I guess its above average with Meowth realizing that things were better with Pikachu than not but then he continues on being.....Team Rocket. but Charizard FINALLY listening to Ash and being badass and whatnot? yeah, awesome.

next post will be about the second movie! the one I watched the most....

[TheCountAlucard]

Jeez, it's been forever since I watched the old series; some things I remember in particular:


"You can't use TWO Pokemon! That's CHEATING!" Ash gets super upset about Jessie and James fighting him simultaneously, almost like double battles don't exist. :smallwink:
The opening theme's first verse follows the scheme of a ballad, and thus can be interchanged with the theme to Gilligan's Island, "America the Beautiful," Emily Dickinson's "Because I Could Not Stop For Death," "Amazing Grace," and much more.
There's an episode where Ash catches a Krabby and worries, briefly, that Professor Oak ate the thing.
That guy voicing Brock is also the voice of Seto Kaiba!

[Lord Raziere]

huh, no one else? kay. also, Alucard, your a season late. we're on Orange Islands, but I will make this unoriginal joke:
*Brock catches a Zubat*
Ash: aren't you supposed to be a rock trainer-?
Brock: Screw the rules, I have Pokemon!

Pokemon 2000

Yes its that time again, time to watch a pokemon movie! and this one is particularly memorable. of all the pokemon movies, I’ve probably watched this one the most. I don’t know why. From what I remember, its basically a “one person can make a difference” message while a bigger visual environmental message blares loudly in the background in surround sound, while an anti-poacher message sings its own little solo for a little while.

But then again, seeing four awesome legendary birds duke it out as well as Lugia by himself might be worth it. I don’t remember why I liked this one so much, but I’m going to find out. This is the second movie of Pokemon, the one where the entire world is thrown into jeopardy, the one where Ash truly starts to be a hero instead of just a martyr, where everything goes to hell because one guy was too much of an idiot to remember to use a pokeball or that capturing the legendary birds of elemental balance would have bad repercussions. This is the movie where Lugia shows up before Johto is even a thing as far as the anime is concerned. The second foray into cinematic epicness!

But first lets watch Pikachu do random acts of heroism in a forest because Togepi is young and stupid.

Pikachu’s Rescue Adventure:
and we start off with Togepi getting distracted by a bunch of Ledyba, a pokemon she and we have never seen before by the time of the Orange Islands. understandable.

and then Psyduck comes in and sends them all tumbling down the hole. goddammit Psyduck. if you were a homestuck class, you’d be a freaking BARD.

yeah, this song isn’t as good as the vacation one

yeah I never got how Pikachu made friends with the Elekid so fast either.

….whats a voltorb doing in a forest?

oh hey I think I saw a Hoothoot!

huh, Squirtle is afraid of heights, who knew?

so a bunch of stupid Exeggcute have lost their sixth egg, and won’t stop following Togepi because of it, because she looks like the sixth egg. idiotic eggs.

and then they follow Elekid…..to find Bellossom and an impromptu pokemon musical number?……okay…..

but yeah, this short is showing more of the prototypes of pokemon mystery dungeon and now pokemon contests. I really think the Orange Islands might be the faint glimmers of those things.

and now Clefairy are jumping around for no reason……kay.

oh wait they’re using Metronome. oh **** they’re using Metronome. BOOM!

but of course they land on spring leaves and jump to safety. kay.

wow, they’re just bouncing from one disaster to another in this short aren’t they?

and then the storm comes and things get AWESOME for some reason, including Pikachu and Elekid deflecting lightning bolts with their own, everyone trying to protect Exeggcute, and Snorlax putting his strength to use, everyone working together to get through the disaster around them.

but then goddammit Snorlax, why you so gluttonous!?

and yeah, Pokemon can handle themselves without trainers around. Team Ash? Sleeping the whole time.

and eh, it wasn’t as good as Vacation, but it has its moments, the plot is mostly just dealing with problems that Pikachu and the gang would normally face and isn’t all that different from any other episode aside from Team Ash not being in it, and I think its more of a short to showoff a few Johto pokemon before we actually get into it.

The Power of One:
now, to the main event.

so we have a stupid prophecy with a certain turn of phrase that names Ash as its chosen one while making it sound like the world is doomed. sigh. this kind of thing just never sat well with me…

oh right, the guy kicking all this off is READING THE VERY PROPHECY THAT HE IS GOING TO FULFILL. he knows that doing this will cause destruction to the world or whatever, but **** THAT! lets add three birds to my collection because they look cool or something!

no wait, he is even more audaciously idiotic: he is going to illegally capture the three birds, so he can illegally capture LUGIA. y’know man, there is a reason why Master Balls were invented. I myself have a good collection of legendary pokemon all legit with pokeballs all chilling on my PC, they don’t seem to mind it, so I suggest you get a starter, some pokeballs and start training.

oh and this big weird flying circular fortress thing. I don’t know whether its physically possible or not, and I don’t care, it looks cool.

and so Moltres is like “who the HELL is freezing my volcano!? is it you bastard with the fortress thing!? **** YOU!”

and thus the guy captures Moltres easily. and yeah, I’m pretty sure he is misinterpreting the prophecy. he thinks the treasures are the birds themselves, but they’re actually these little orbs, and Lugia isn’t actually the beast of the sea, its this big current that runs throughout the world and controls the climate.

hm. “I’ve seen this movie”?- Meowth, you talking about Mewtwo Strikes Back or this one?

and whoa thats weird, we just had clouds, then rain, then snow, then an aurora out of nowhere, then suddenly clearing up all in rapid succession. thats an out of whack system.

and frack, they’ve landed a tribal island! quick, throw Snorlax at them, either they’ll eat him, he will eat them!

and Melody cares little for your outdated rituals that actually important to saving the world, she is a modern young woman dammit!

“the ancient legend tells of your arrival….only you can vanquish the titans of ice fire and lightning, you hold the world in its fate…..don’t worry its just for the tourists!”- wow, you Shamouti guys are trolls you know that? you look like tribal people, you tell every pokemon that comes around this time of year that they hold the world in their hands, real ****ing funny dude. only this time….ITS TRUE! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHA HAAA.AAAAAA……JOKES ON YOU, SHAMOUTI.

and Misty doesn’t like the kiss on the cheek from Melody. oh, Tsundere, Tsundere…

….”and she says, no but I have Crabbies!”- oh look a sex joke about Crabs. nice that I caught it.

and hey, Melody actually looks good when she dresses up in traditional garb. and yeah, that iconic song of this movie…..always beautiful.

and yea the ritual is basically a fetch quest. problem is….this time the quest is actually needed. just a coincidence something considered ritual is now something pretty vital.

but Pikachu, why did you take his hat dude?

hey talking Slowking? how about TELLING THE PEOPLE ON THE ISLAND THAT YOUR ON, that something is y’know DISASTROUSLY WRONG? your just gonna hide in your cave and let them pretend its all just another ritual? kay, screw you to.


and now the world is being alerted to the massive weather imbalance thats taking place, while the collector guy….doesn’t seem to care about this, he just muses on it and keeps going. ****.

but yeah, we basically see that the three birds cancel each other out: Moltres probably regulates things so that the world is kept a certain temperature, with which Zapdos electricity starts running wild globally, and Articuno keeps the world from getting too hot probably. like Moltres keeps things sunny, Zapdos regulates storms, and Articuno regulates cold or something.

heheheh. “we’re on the big screen!”-Team Rocket
“I’ll have to catch this on video!”-Ash

wow, there is so much romantic text and subtext around here, even Meowth points out how Jessie and James seems to be very close, I mean, come on, Jessie and James ALREADY seem to be married, they just haven’t made it official.

I think Zapdos is like:
“MOLTRES! YO, WHAT YOU DOING MAN! THIS WEATHER HERE IS NOT COOL! I THIN YOUR SLACKING AT YOUR JOB, CAUSE MY LIGHTNING AURA THING IS MAKING THINGS GO OUT OF WHACK, SO I’MMA COMING TO SHAPE YOU UP, YOU LAZY BASTARD! YOU BETTER NOT BE ****ING AROUND WITH HO-OH AGAIN CAUSE IF YOU ARE, I SWEAR I’MMA KICK YOU ASS WITH LIGHTNING!”

no, Zapdos is really thinking:
“oh sweet, Moltres is gone, time to rule BOTH islands, because I’m a conquering **** like that!” I liked my reasons better.

but then Zapdos get captured by weird square things as well as Team Ash and Rocket. Collector guy, are you a Randian philosopher? because letting the world fall into weather/climate chaos just to get capture one pokemon seems pretty selfish to me.

and why did you release them from the cage, Collector dude? your literally allowing them to run free in your valuable collection and potentially screw up everything. I think your just completely short-sighted about everything. not considering any of the consequences of your actions.

and now Articuno is like
“DUDE, ZAPDOS, MOLTRES, WHERE THE **** ARE YOU!? THINGS ARE GETTING ICEY NOW! DON’T MAKE ME FREEZE THE WORLD! YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED THE LAST TIME I BROUGHT ABOUT AN ICE AGE! IT WASN’T PRETTY!”

and Oak explains it all in modern terms: basically, lightning is making the world-current go ballistic. crap.

“I could use pants.”- Slowing. yeah. I don’t think they make pants in your shape.

wow James, you walked right into a joke about not being apart of all intelligent life. nice going.

so your finally starting to act now, are you Lugia, after what, TWO Birds got captured? nice going there pal.

but the break Moltres free, who breaks Zapdos free, who then proceed to destroy this stupid flying fortress and make it crash on lightning island. Collector has all the reaction of a stone to this…..

oh and now all three all fighting each other in the sky. even though they are free. yeah, in hindsight, this is not an environmental message, since these three Birds are just as big of ***** as the Collector, since they’re fighting over which one gets their island territory and making the world go to hell because of it.

thats a good question, how DOES the talking Slowking know Ash’s name?

“Cut it out!”-Ash, being the voice of sanity.
“**** YOU HUMAN!”- The Three Birds.

and there he is…..LUGIA! in all his awesome.

wow, the Collector has his fortress half destroyed and he is still focused on getting Lugia. real convicted aren’t you?

and Lugia gets beaten because prophecy and going up against three birds with only one. even though Lugia is basically the bird that created these three birds.

and Ash has doubts about this, even when its pointed out. he needs to save the world, but he is not sure he can do it. and to be fair, there is going to be uncertainty on something this high stakes.

“but what can I do that someone else can’t?”-yeah thats the biggest problem with any prophecy really: what can the prophecies do that other people can’t do to solve the problem just as well? the entire prophecy set up is to hamfistedly make things happen in one way and one way only every time is appears in fiction, as if life was all about doing things in one narrow way and can’t be done in any other way.

yeah, Ash has some serious doubts about his abilities, and this moment really is all bout that. despite his constant attempts to be confident, there is always something around to try and slap him down, so he yeah, he kind of has confidence issues unlike most shonen protagonists, it makes sense that he’d fear failure in the face of saving the world, something that many people would probably fear in the same position.

and so Ash rigs up a sled thing to get going fast towards ice island. I admit, this is the part where the movie really starts getting cool. though, you do have an army of pokemon gathered here, might want to consider using that to distract the three birds at least?

and Team Rocket comes in to try and save the day for once. cool! mostly because if the world was destroyed there would be no one left to steal from.

Lugia: hey, Team Rocket, get my leg, I’m trying to fly here.

and they do get off. wow, Team Rocket really can be heroes when they don’t have their selfishness to think about.

and Lugia explains that even if only one was needed to help save the world, all of the getting here would be worth the journey. huh. that does seem right.

and just when everything seems triumphant…..COLLECTOR RINGS ATTACK!

and Lugia is like:
“What dude! NOT COOL! HYPER BEAM MOTHER****ER…….GAAAAHH….”
as one last screw you to the Collector.

“and Ash is never really alone because he’s got….me.”- hm, confirmation or love or not? YOU MAKE THE CALL.

and we end with the song being done in its EPIC form and harmony being brought to the world. just remember: in a world where the fate of world depends on nobody disturbing three certain birds on three certain islands and thus potentially causing an ice age if a certain prophecy isn’t fulfilled which involves getting three balls and playing a certain song….one person can make all the difference apparently.

now is that actually true, is that a message that is valuable? could all of this have been prevented if one guy didn’t decide to screw everything over for the sake of his greed? YES. could Ash have succeeded if Team Rocket were ***** as usual? NO. could Lugia have done this himself? Clearly not. Could Ash have succeeded if Misty didn’t save him? No. but does this apply in real life? is this “power of one” message something we should take away from this?

Well, what is the opposing argument? that one person can’t make a difference and that you need many people to make a difference? makes sense, for any great undertaking, you need lots of people to help you and work on everything down to its smallest detail so that it all works right. but see, in the many people and details, if even one of those people screws up or does a bad job, there is potential for the whole thing to fall apart, because Teamwork is all about working together, so every single person within the team is important and vital to the team functioning correctly.

same as with this movie: this whole movie is structured so that even if one of these people failed in what they set out to do, that would be it, game over. if the girl didn’t get Ash to first island despite the weather, everything fails, if Lugia didn’t do his part to protect others, everything fails, if Misty didn’t save Ash, everything fails, if Team Rocket didn’t pitch in or sacrifice themselves by letting go, everything fails, if Ash wasn’t confident enough to go through with it, everything fails. so to me, the Power of One isn’t about how only one person can save the world, its about how each singular person is needed to uphold the greater world above them, that everyone is a link in the chain that is civilization and that if one breaks, the whole chain falls apart and is useless, just like how if any one of these people failed, the whole world would be destroyed. the point is not “Ash is speshul” the point is that everyone needs to contribute to form a strong bond of society, and that everyone has their role in doing so, even if those roles are separate and their relatively unconnected. and of course, all it really took to break this chain that holds everything together, is for one **** to say “screw it I’mma catching them for my collection.” and cause chaos for everyone else. thats the Power of One: the decision to uphold your link in the chain of the world. you break your chain, everyone suffers for it.

speaking of which, the Collector has his super-rare runed mew card and says he will start his collection all over again……sigh, great, he learned nothing from this it seems like, its going to happen all over again someday, isn’t it. speaking of rare mew cards…..yup! I still have mine from the first movie, and it still awesome, I’m keeping it forever. hm say…..you know…Zapdos, Moltres and Articuno would look good next to all the other legendaries I’ve caught…maybe I should catch those next…..*Kill Bill Siren plays* (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cOy6hqzfsAs)

and in my opinion? its a little better than the first movie- I mean look on bright side, it didn't end with Ash getting his mind wiped, it gave a lot of characters their chance to contribute and be awesome, and while its explicit message is again something thats dumb or whatever, the implicit message you can find in it is something far more valuable. After all: none of this would've happened if one person, this one Collector didn't decide to be a selfish prick and try to take Lugia for himself, so the Power of One might actually be important- just not in the way the explicit message says it is. The world is something we all have to hold up, and we can't afford to even have one person drop their load. after all- is not a criminal dropping their upholding of society by committing a crime, and thus using their power to screw everyone else over by breaking society's agreement and thus making force necessary? Society has to survive and grow together, or it dies together. anyone who doesn't get with the program well...we can't have them in society if they won't hold up their load. just fact.

[Mystic Muse]

Yeah, Pokemon 2,000 was...odd.

Honestly, here's my personal interpretation.

The prophecy is literal. The entire world is supposed to be destroyed. "Day of wrath, that day will consume the world in ashes" and all that.

It's just that, A. The prophecy was inaccurate, and B. the heroes got lucky as hell.

Hey, my interpretation is just as valid as the one they come up with in the movie. :smalltongue:

[Lord Raziere]

Yeah, Pokemon 2,000 was...odd.

Honestly, here's my personal interpretation.

The prophecy is literal. The entire world is supposed to be destroyed. "Day of wrath, that day will consume the world in ashes" and all that.

It's just that, A. The prophecy was inaccurate, and B. the heroes got lucky as hell.

Hey, my interpretation is just as valid as the one they come up with in the movie. :smalltongue:

or, to look at it another way:
prophecies don't predict the future. the future is a blank slate and full of infinite possibilities.

instead, prophecies structure the future. They eliminate all other possibilities so that only a certain chain of events may happen, in a way creating the future. the prophecy didn't predict what was going to happen, it made these events happen in the first place. thing is, prophecies are bound by their wording. and thus there are loopholes to the prophecy: normally the world would turn to ash and be destroyed, but since the loophole in the wording is some guy named Ash saving the day, that is a thing that could and did happen instead.

in short, prophecies are like genie wishes that YOU have to grant. sure you have to do it, but that doesn't mean you can interpret the prophecy in a different way to fulfill it in the way you want.

[AGD]

Thank you for this Thread,

I enjoyed the Pokemon-Anime as a Kid, but I have developed kind of a "Meh"-Attitude about it. And even if you admit, that it is average, I feel now, that it deserves a more respectful attitude from me. This Thread brought some Memories back and I remember again, why I enjoyed it in the first place.

But I also remember again, what a gigantic loser Ash was. I remembered Ash as a lot more competent and thought, that he earned more badges rightfully. I think I also found a bit of symbolism for the first season. None of Ashs Pokemon(besides Charizard, that he cant control after that) evolves in the first season, because he doesn't evolves/grows in the first season. He has strenghts, that brought him as far as he is at the end of the season, but he doesn't change any of his flaws, that he had on his first day and this flaws came back to bite him, when he was in the Indigo League, like you said in your "Indigo League"-Critic.

[ThePhantom]

I should point out that in the original Japanese, since the character isn't named Ash, it works a bit differently.

Lawerence III, what a strange villain. We never come across anyone quite like him. His flying fortress is neat, and his calmness through is interesting, but he's such a blank slate. Why this focus on Lugia, how did he gets all his stuff? So many questions with no answers.

[Landis963]

I should point out that in the original Japanese, since the character isn't named Ash, it works a bit differently.

Specifically, it works the way Mystic Muse theorized: The prophecy is literal, and Team Ash just decides to avert the prophecy instead of this "turn to ash" malarkey.

[Lord Raziere]

@ AGD: your welcome.

Charizard could also be symbolic of how Ash's greatest outstanding traits are his laziness and his rash decision making- Charizard after all wouldn't battle unless he saw a challenge in it and would just laze around but if you tick him off he fought recklessly without thought, and that while Ash has other pokemon that represent his other traits (Bulbasaur his protectiveness, Squirtle his leadership qualities, Pikachu his energy, drive, stubbornness and overall potential, and the rarely used Butterfree as the sort of the beauty he could achieve if he actually applied himself but never does, reinforced by the fact that he rarely uses Butterfree) he never develops those traits because Charizard in the way of that and he is relying on Charizard's raw firepower to get things done even though he knows that Charizard won't obey him.

and yeah, my theory falls apart when originally it was just a screw destiny sort of thing, which I find kind of weird, given that american culture prizes independence and freedom you'd think they emphasize that instead of re-railing the prophecy. that says something about us, but I don't know what. and yeah, I would actually like to see Lawrence III again, he had this calm charisma about him and he had potential to be a serious villain. like, he probably some rich guy that could've been a villain for an entire arc or something, going around trying to re-complete his collection of priceless stuff and would've made a great villain who wasn't one of the various Teams.

Episode 26: Fire-Fighting Turtle Squads
so we open on Jenny keeping people away from flames. so….where are the water pokemon trying put it out? you’d think that since your on an island with readily available water pokemon for capturing that you’d already have a city-funded fire-fighting pokemon team or something….

oh wait they do, nevermind.

and they have Blastoise and Squirtle as well. y’know, there are other water pokemon, I’m pretty sure Marill is far more common than Squirtle, but hey, your the experts…

uh oh. I think the Kaminuirtle is starting to feel Squirtle-Squad sick or something from watching the Wartortle….

called it, and now the Wartortle and the Squirtle are starting to develop one of those stupid intra-evolutionary rivalries….surprised that doesn’t happen more often actually, tensions seem to rise more from similar pokemon being together than different ones, because the different ones are two different to care about competing in the pokemon’s are of specialty. a Squirtle and a Charmander can get along just fine, but two Squirtles will start competing to see which one’s fire-fighting **** is bigger.

wow, Team Rocket is in rare pun form today, they’re just slamming one out after another…

and yeah,t hey might compete on the track, but the Squirtle and Wartortle knows whats really important on the job. but this episode…..eh its not the best, its not the worst. its just meh.

Episode 27: Why Pokeballs are needed for Snorlax. Jerk.
wow this grass trainer guy is a jerk.

and now the trainer leaves them to their fate of having to transport a sleeping Snorlax to the pokemon center without a pokeball. jerk.

wow, nice idea Tracey, making a lure…..out of Ash. jerk.

hey universe, nice idea with the waterfall making them go down faster. jerk.

hey grass trainer, thanks for pointing out the pokemon center. jerk.

“nah, I don’t think that there are that many people who are that dumb”- true enough I guess. jerk.

and Team Rocket steals the food then offers to give it back for Pikachu. jerk.

the guys name is GOLZAR!? jerk.

Snorlax saves the day……then eats some of the food meant for everyone. jerk.

Episode 28: Does Ash Just Have One Of Those Faces?
yes, final gym leader of the Orange Crew, we’re getting places.

“can’t you guys have a little confidence in me?”
“Sure Ash, in fact we always have as little confidence in you as possible!.”- AAAAAAGH, MISTY, I’M BURNING FROM YOUR SICK BURN OF ASH THERE! AAAAAH, I’M ON FIRE, I’M ON FIRE!

aw crap, ANOTHER person has mistaken Ash for their own son! to be fair though, Ash does look pretty common and unremarkable.

that guys hair is BROWN! how do you mistake him for that!?

Team Rocket, whats your obsession with making all your evil inventions environmentally friendly!? …..I know that your like, only pseudo-evil and probably don’t want the world going to hell like anyone else but really, you kind of have skewed priorities with this evil invention thing.

“wow Misty! Charizards listening to Ash!”- yes. that is a thing we covered three episodes ago. thanks for stating the obvious, Tracey.

really, another case of Ash being suspiciously similar to ANOTHER person with the same kind of hat, pikachu, dream and so on. why does shonen anime go out of its way to make these super clones of the protagonist? it doesn’t make any sense.

and its a double battle eh. wow. the origin of these came way before Hoenn then.

Uh Ash. you have Butterfree? remember? Alakazam not a problem for you? just send out Butterfree? remember? Bug type? flies around?

….Ash you should’ve chosen Squirtle. Not "I'm a loose cannon pokemon who doesn't play by the rules" Charizard...

PIKACHU! I’M PRETTY SURE ASH MEANT USE THUNDERSHOCK ON ALAKAZAM! NOT CHARIZARD! YOU IDIOT!

Finally! Pikachu did what he should’ve done like, two minutes ago.

and they never see Travis ever. probably.


and um.... Squirtle episode is meh, the snorlax episode is just a bunch of people being jerks to one another, and the last is weird because Ash gets mistaken for ANOTHER person's son AGAIN, then sends out Charizard who demonstrates that while he listens to Ash now, Charizard still isn't exactly a team player yet, which sort of drags things down, when Ash should've chosen Squirtle instead who is not only a water type, but knows ALL ABOUT TEAMWORK. not only a good choice against a Marowak, but probably would've got things done better against Alakazam as well.

[ThePhantom]

A little foreshadowing, and closer and closer we get to the origin of one of the stranger abilities. Yes, I think people know what I'm talking about.

[Lord Raziere]

....no I don't seem to myself. oh well, on with the episodes.

this is four episodes long because of the two-parter Orange Champion final battle.

Episode 29: Crouching Magikarp, Hidden Gyarados
ok weird, magikarp watching?

“just what I’m looking for: non-union labor”- wow. he is…..honest.

this watcher guy sounds like a computer voice thing. also: whats with all the magikarp doing stuff? they’re magikarp, everyone knows that whatever they’re doing, its just going to eventually result in a Gyarados anyways.

Quincy T. Quackenpoker? and here I thought Steven Sphielbug was a ridiculous name.

Misty is voicing what we all are thinking: what kind of quack watches Magikarp? either this guy is onto something big, or onto something obvious. cause Magikarp are pretty useless all things considered, so there must be a dang good reason to constantly watch them.

“say now that the plots come to a screeching halt”- QUINCY CAN BREAK THE FOURTH WALL TOO!? is….is he a Fourth Wall Watcher too? what qualities does he possess that make him similar to Team Rocket?

ok, so Team Rocket has enough money to build a bunch of cool inventions, but not enough to afford a few pokeballs? weird.

and Team Ash is like, YAWNING through Team Rocket’s motto this time. poor Team Rocket, they never get any respect.

70% of the Magikarp evolved eh? weird.

Episode 30: Misty Is Useful Now.
oh hey Ash is finally going to train for the Orange Lea-aaaaw, he got Stun-Spore’d

and both Tracey and Ash are out of commission, meaning only Misty is able to do anything. this is a problem.

good thinking Tracey, the Pokedex demonstrates a use other than just identifying a pokemon: figuring out antidotes for the pokemon’s stun spore! which I like about this episode alone. it would make sense for a little computer to have something like that and for it to be given to trainers just in case they need it, since they work with pokemon so closely.

and Jessie got stun spore’d as well, and apparently James and Meowth think of it as just a little sickness like the cough or a cold or something.

and Goldeen is finally useful after how many episodes? whatever.

and wow Misty you can’t see through all these as traps but you will still not fall for them. wow. also you inadvertently said that Jessie has good taste.

and Misty is kind enough to leave some to cure Jessie who…..is an ungrateful jerk and tries to attack them, and she gets her comeuppance for it.

“they (Team Rocket) keep getting weirder”- ……truer words have never been spoken Ash.

but yeah. nice to see Misty being useful for a change and getting a Poliwag out of it. kudos.

Episode 31: The First 6v6 Battle, Part 1
and we get to Pummelo, and see a Dragonite in the distance, speaking of which, caught a Dratini in X! evolved to Dragonair and gave it an Everstone! so yeah, not going for Dragonite, cause I already have three Pseudo-legendaries- why get a fourth?

but here is the weird thing: there is no tournament involved, its just a single match against the Pummelo Gym leader in a six on six battle. kay. I'mma calling him the Orange Champion anyways, because that is what he basically is

and Team Rocket comes in to show how badass the Dragonite is by being blasted off by its Hyper Beam. kay.

better transfer that Snorlax Ash. you don’t want ANOTHER pokemon sleeping the match away.

and we choose….Tauros! finally the bull is gonna get some spotlight! its been waiting like what, 70-80 episodes for this? yeah, been a while since the Safari….

but of course, Team Rocket is planning to steal the show…

now its time for the battle against DRAKE, CHAMPION OF THE ORANGE ISLANDS!

aw crap, the first pokemon Drake sends out is a DITTO. that is a tricky opponent no how you slice it….but since the Challenger can switch out and the Champion can’t, Ash just needs to send out Squirtle first then switch for Bulbasaur and he has this in the bag.

and Ash starts off with…..Pikachu. /facepalm

now now, perfectly symmetrical violence never solves anything. your basically both punching each other’s electrical fists! this won’t do anything productive.

huh an electric tail? thats not a usual move. was there ever an electric tail attack?

and next he sends out a Onix…..ad Ash does the smart thing for once and sends out Squirtle! cool. except whenever Ash does something smart, something happens to screw him over anyways. so…..bye bye Squirtle, probably.

Ash, make Squirtle dive in the water part of the field! its the only place Squirtle can’t be attacked from!

yay! we finally have good tactical sense winning the day with a water beating a rock type! no bull**** underdog stupidity for this win!

crap, third pokemon’s a Gengar. careful Ash, Ghost types are tricky. they are why I have a lot of my pokemon have Shadow Claw or some Dark type move on hand, cause if you don’t have an easy answer for Ghosts they will screw you over in so many ways….

Tauros!? uh Ash, thats probably the worst idea ever. Ghosts are IMMUNE to Normal type attacks. either the beginners luck will be very strong and somehow pull off a very unlikely win, or Tauros is going to get his ass kicked.

and then Ash switches out for Lapras because Confuse Ray is an annoying move that I really need plant and give more Persim berries for. but the Ice beam and the Night Shade is causing an explosive reaction…

Episode 32: The First 6v6 Battle, Part 2
and we open with a tie, both Pokemon unable to battle. bad for Ash, but worse for Drake. Gengar, being the tricky customer that he is, is probably Drake’s secondary trump card after Dragonite. now he will have to either send out Dragonite to win it back, or he will keep stalling with his other two pokemon….

and Tauros gets another chance to kick ass, and he takes down a VENUSAUR! aw yeah.

and Bulbasaur get his ass kicked by the Electabuzz. after all, there has to be something to make sure this all comes down to the two pokemon we’ve all been waiting for….

and that Electabuzz got beaten by Charizard….now its time for…..

CHARIZARD VS DRAGONITE.

OR

CHARIZARD VS. FAT CHARIZARD. FIGHT!

and oh, the Dragonite knows water gun, ouch.

and Charizard loses. dammit.

and so does Squirtle. now only Tauros and Pikachu remain to fight the seemingly unstoppable Dragonite.

Team Rocket interrupts! and…..get their ass kicked by Dragonite immediately. of course. they had a nice plan, but trying that on a Pseudo-Legendary only gets you pain.

and now we go with….TAUROS! again. its gonna lose

and of course, its all down to Pikachu. go forth Pikachu, and be badass. you can do it, you always do impossible things with electricity.

and thus Ash wins the Orange League! alright!

but the question remains: is the Orange League legit? can we really count this as a victory prestigious as say the Indigo or Johto League? probably not. there is only four Gym Leaders, and you only need to defeat one Champion and no Elite Four. but just because its not as grand as the normal regional leagues, doesn’t mean that it isn’t a stepping stone on his journey. Ash can pull off a victory and thats the entire point of this. its just that well, for some reason he loses every time he enters a tournament if I remember correctly, so I guess this battle is to show that he isn’t a pure failure hero every time he gets close to his goal. I think he does progress and grow, its just subtle; look at how in this match alone he has thought about things more than he did in the Indigo League. he has shown definite improvement and not the flashy power up kind, just the “use your head more often” kind.

but my real question is if this the conclusion to the Orange League, then we have four more episodes to go before the Orange Islands actually ends! what do they do with the next four?

so yeah. the Quackenpoker episode was weird. the Misty episode was honestly good, nice to give her a spotlight once in a while, but the best two episodes is the Orange Final Battle. it shows Ash actually winning for the vast majority of the match, taking out pokemon after pokemon with his smarts, sure he encounters a couple problems along the way with Lapras and Bulbasaur getting taken out easily, but the real trouble doesn't start until the Dragonite in all its pseudo-legendary glory starts throwing its weight around and basically giving all of Ash's remaining pokemon asskicking after asskicking and it all comes down to Ash using Pikachu, whom if you noticed he saved for last so that it may rest up the most so that it may give the last push.

and really I like that fact that Ash has at least won one thing to put on his mantlepiece and be proud of. sure he lost the Indigo League and all the others but hey, at least he has that Orange Islands trophy to be proud of if nothing else works out- beating a pseudo-legendary is no small feat, especially when its the only pseudo-legendary and one of the only three dragon types in existence at this point in pokemon, sure today beating dragon type like Dragonite is easy if you just get a Fairy type and attack with Moon Blast or Dazzling Gleam, but in Gen I you had to either get another Dragon type- aka another Dragonite- to beat it, or raise an Ice type which there were only four of: Articuno, Jynx, Dewgong and Lapras, and Ice types are harder to raise because the only resistance Ice types have are Ice and a lot of weaknesses. since one of these is a legendary, Ash's only real hope of easily beating Dragonite got destroyed beating a Gengar, which itself had no pokemon that had resistances to Ghost types back then so, Ash basically had to fight two overpowered Gen I pokemon in one match.

[ThePhantom]

I did some checking and my memory was wrong. That comes much later. And yes, this was a huge win for Ash. Champion Drake, I have to add that because of the Elite Four Drake who appears much later, was a very strong opponent, especially at the time. Well, it will be a little while before Ash's bubble is busted, as it must be.

[Lord Raziere]

Yup, what goes up must eventually come down, in this case being Ash's winning streak. lets see how:

Episode 33: Farewell to Lapras
and we open with Lapras suddenly take a hard right turn while sounding concerned for some reason. yup, just as I predicted, as soon as Ash won the trophy, we immediately go to the episode where Lapras has to say goodbye probably.

yeah, and if they are friends of Lapras, thats a problem for you Ash, because you need Lapras to get back to Oaks, to get back on land.

SHUN THE TRAINER-LAPRAS! SHUN THE TRAINER-LAPRAS!

and Team Rocket is not behind this! they got their ass kicked by the pirate.

“I just hope they keep going.”-…..why Ash? them actually getting arrested and kept in jail would solve so much for you. Team Rocket wouldn’t be following you around so much after all.

its a literal pirate, with a literal pirate ship, with cannons that fire pokeballs that release Tentacruel…..I’m not even going to question how any of this works….its probably all nonsense anyways.

Ash you idiot, the electricity harms everyone, not just the Tentacruel! you’ll solve nothing with Discharge!

and thats why conventional tech doesn’t work against pokemon: the water pokemon were powerful enough to blast through the pirate ships hull and mast with water gun alone, and thats one of the weaker attacks out there.

I think the light blue lapras is Ash-Lapras’s mother….

and yeah. good bye Lapras your an awesome pokemon. real chill, beautiful, and with the voice of an angel, and you make a good ride. whats not to love?

Episode 34: Exploding Pseudo-Pokeball Mania
and we open with a bridge being closed, and Team Ash needing to get across it. y’know, you guys have used your regular water pokemon to help you swim across water before, why don’t you just use them? the distance isn’t that great.

……where’d you get a rowboat?

why is the town abandoned?

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF- a voltorb in the shadows, oh god.

oh god, Electrodes everywhere.

aaaaaaaaand the fireworks begin! this town is full of exploding pokemon! no wonder its abandoned!

so some guy is basically transferring Electrode off the little island to a place where they will be free and without crowding, but now Team Rocket has been hired to take care of them in a day immediately. hm.

when did you guys become so lawful? just kick their ass and work double time to get the Electrode off the island. the mayor won’t know the difference.

Voltorb tries to intervene! Togepi uses Metronome…..and ends up using Splash. oh well.

aaaaw, poor Togepi she has to say goodbye to her Voltorb friend.

movie hero? is Misty referencing Clint Eastwood or something?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH, THE JIGGLYPUFF RETURNS! *scary music plays* after how many episodes being gone? ever since the Snorlax episode of the Orange Islands I think.

Episode 35: She Who Should Not Be Named (Around Brock)
finally they made it back to Pallet! unfortunately, Jigglypuff has followed them. prepare for sleepy chaos.

Brock!? he is back!?

but then the question is asked: what is Brock doing back in Pallet? wasn’t he with Professor Ivy? and here is a mystery that will never be solved! Brock never says why he left Ivy, or what she did to him. it is something that will never be known. however we can theorize. Brock’s duties was to basically be their housemaid. fix everything up, cook, clean, all that vital stuff. my guess is that he was too good at his job, and they learned how to do all that as well to the point where he wasn’t needed, and then when he tried to say, propose or whatever to Ivy she turned him down in some manner, but not just in any old way, in some special way that really hurt him, because he has been turned down by girls before and bounced back, so she must’ve made herself clear in a way that Brock really didn’t like. maybe she fell in love with another passing man, and never considered Brock a suitor? that would probably hurt him.

*music starts up, Ash runs forward to greet mother and….
“I’m so glad your here Pikachu!”- wow Ash, your still a loser enough for Pikachu to be paid attention over you. by your own mother no less. ouch.

“sometimes your as immature as Gary”
“don’t mention that name….”-hahahaha, Ash going blue and sulky over Gary. if Ivy is to Gary and Brock is to Ash, she must’ve turned him down in a very know-it-all manner or something.

ah, but Tracey wants to meet Oak soon! soon!

aah, a rare shot of both Tracey and Brock running in the same group, even in the episode they meet, they don’t interact all that much unfortunately, but those four are the original Kanto Ash crew. sure Tracey is only in the group for a little while, but he is apart of Team Ash nonetheless.

and yeah, Team Rocket is beginning to call Giovanni less and less because they still have caught any pokemon, so why bother angering him?

very hug-happy Muk. Ash you got to deal with that, what if Muk accidentally poisons somebody? it is after all, a literal pile of toxic goop.

and now Tracey is in full fanboy mode….

suddenly: TEAM ROCKET’S FLYING CIRCUS!

Team Rocket’s ass is getting kicked by Muk. of course.

suddenly: a cloaked figure appears, and just when all hope is lost….GARY. MOTHER. ****ING. OAK. SAVES THE DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

an then Ash challenges him to a pokemon battle. oh yeeeeaaaaah! finally time for these two to duke it out! the real final battle of Kanto- mostly, because without any new pokemon, the Orange Islands really are nothing but an extension of Kanto.

Episode 36: Ash Vs. Gary
This is it folks, this is the episode you’ve been waiting for since Episode 1. This is the brash kinda slow reckless good-hearted guy going up against the know-it-all jerk who seems to do everything better and not afraid to rub it in your face. who will win? don’t ask me, I don’t remember the outcome.

only one pokemon? an Eevee? huh. but not evolved. is there some kind of symbolism here? if Ash is to Pikachu like Gary is to Eevee, it means that Gary has just as much potential as Ash, but far more flexibility on how he can apply that potential. Pikachu can only evolve into a Raichu. Eevee can evolve into any number of things depending on the conditions.

a defensive strategy to contrast Ash’s offensive one?

and Pikachu……LOSES!

“hey Gary! next time its going to be different!”
Gary is just like *waves goodbye*

and now we’re starting to talk about Johto and its League. cool.

Sidenote: even Oak doesn’t know? Oak, you invented the pokeball. You not knowing what the GS Ball is all about just doesn’t make any sense, you should at least have some clue about whats different about from normal pokeballs. but no, custom pokeball baffles the greatest pokemon scientist in the world…..again.

Team Rocket vs. Gary. this will end as you think it will. Gary defeats them…..by just walking away and not paying any attention to them.

Team Rocket, get the hell out, your ruining their dinner.

and Scyther gets one last moment to be badass and Tracey gets to the last Team Rocket send off the Orange Islands. how appropriate.

and so they set out for Johto! but we won’t be going there just yet.

first, I have to take a look, at Pokemon Origins, thats right, we are rewinding. we? are taking a look at the journey…..of Red.

so yeah, Ash's victory of getting a trophy is cut short by Gary rescuing him from Team Rocket then soundly beating him with just an Eevee, then heading off to Johto without giving Ash further consideration. always more mountains to climb....

and Orange Islands overall is um...good! good in my opinion. doesn't have as much Kanto weirdness, shorter, gives Ash a victory for a change, definitely ironed out some of the more uh blunt environmental messages, has some episodes that I'd recommend, I can't find as many episodes I dislike in it, so to my point of view it has some improvement over Kanto, because Kanto was full of weirdness and very blunt environmental and evolution messages and such, while Orange Islands while an extension of Kanto is also a transition away from some of its flaws while still delivering on Pokemons strengths.

but before I go on, I have to admit one mistake I made: Marill isn't actually a Gen I pokemon. I just assumed so because Marill appeared in Orange Islands, Marill is actually a Gen II pokemon, Orange Islands was just an early debut for it, like Togepi.

We are all caught up now. but yeah, before we move onto Johto, I'm going to watch Pokemon Origins to see what Red is all about, from what I've heard of him, he is basically the greatest pokemon badass ever so...that will something to see...

[ThePhantom]

Hmm, I didn't see most of those episodes. I saw the lapras one, and the gary one partyl, but the rest I missed. Well, the lapras one was good.

[Lord Raziere]

Pokemon Origins

Before there was Ash, there was a trainer called Red. Before Yellow, there was Red and Green. Before the anime, there was the video game. This, is the story of that trainer. Its only four episodes long so expect a lot of montages. From what I've heard, Red is some sort of super-badass of the pokemon world, so lets see how he matches up to Ash....

Episode 1: Red is a Horrible Trainer
and we start off with Oak doing his usual spiel and then cutting to the usual Gengar vs. Nidorino fight. rally going for Nostalgia eh?

and Red begins much like Ash: watching the fight and his mother calls him to go meet Professor Oak, and he heads out immediately.

oh hey……Green? oh right, this was before Blue and the American release. hi Green!

but here is where things diverge: Green doesn’t seem to be nearly as dickish as Gary, and Red actually shows up in time to get the usual starters!

and Red chooses Charmander to match his name, but Green doesn’t and chooses Squirtle as expected the rival. oh and then Green challenges Red to a match and says
“your pretty boring for a first opponent.”
and now rival ****-ishness will now commence….

and so Green goes off to try and become the greatest pokemon trainer ever…while Red seems oddly…..calm and unphased.

but now we re-parallel with Red meeting his first wild pokemon: a Pidgey! lets see how he tries to fight it differently than Ash, who because of a jerk Pikachu at the time, did it completely wrong:
oh he doesn’t catch it, but at least he sends out Charmander, and wow is the Pidgey skittish, it runs away too fas to be caught! but he does capture a Rattatta in short order. and the Pokeballs are much faster in this continuity. just, one touch and its vacuumed up just like that!

and we go through a montage of Red capturing the first few pokemon of the beginning areas. wow, already we are diverging significantly, because Red has captured more pokemon in a few seconds than Ash did in an entire season.

and wow, pokemon battles are fast and lethal in Origins, Charmander takes out the Nidoran in one hit!

but Green shows up again and is like
“thought you’d be slower, trash.” and wow, Green is already starting to show where Gary got his ****-ish tendencies from. and ah, Red’s goal is complete the pokedex, much different from Ash’s Pokemon Master desire.

and Green makes a good argument about how Red will need strong pokemon to complete the pokedex actually, then they dramatically skid back and start a poke-battle.

and Red loses to green because Green knows type matches and Red didn’t starting out, he just kept trying to make Charmander fight without thinking.

oh hi guy who looks a lot like Brock without the jacket, your going to teach type matchups now?

no, apparently Red hasn’t bonded with Charmander like Green has. yeah, Red didn’t seem in tune with Charmander there at all.

a nurse that is not a Joy. this is remarkable! a rarity even! quick catch his Nurse! we need to add her to the Nurse-dex!

ok, so apparently Brock is a famous celebrity in this world. thats certainly a change of perspective from some guy sitting alone in a dark gym made of rocks.

oh the guy WAS Brock, hey Brock! your looking more white than usual! what did you do with your hair so that it doesn’t stick up as much?

so, Red doesn’t get type match ups as early as Ash, but he certainly picks it up much quicker than Ash did.

I do admit: his victory vs. Brock is more plausible and strategical than Ash’s, but he gone through the pokemon he had like candy, and he clearly didn’t get the work as a team thing at all. a pokemon trainer who uses his pokemon as cannon fodder is a losing one. Red is lucky he got enough string shot off to for it to matter.

so that was the first episode, and while I am not sure about Red himself yet, I do like the style of this continuity if nothing else, everything being more fast paced and more plausibly forceful- Growl isn’t just some ordinary growl, its some sonic attack that sends shivers down the pokemon’s spine. the tone is more serious, and the action is certainly ramped up with the trainers decisions being split second choices they need to make in the heat of the moment rather than anything they can actually think over, so its plausible that you can lose because of how FAST pokemon battles are in this continuity. Red and Ash are not playing by the same rules here.

I like the save game menu thing as a framing device though.

Episode 2: Death Is A Thing!?
and we open with a montage skipping right past Misty and Surge. hm. oh well. at least it looks like she is competent in this continuity. but really, seeing as how there are only four episodes, lots of montages make sense.

and we stop at Lavender Town, kay.

and we get Cubone’s backstory where his mother was KILLED, people that are probably ghosts, and an old man that takes of lost and abandoned pokemon. wow, very much darker than the pokemon I’m used to.

so Red promises to go the Tower and defeat Team Rocket, but Green decides to go in first to one up him….

apparently ghost-type pokemon don’t count as real ghosts…weird.

and Green runs as soon as he sees a ghost, for all his talk that they don’t exist. huh.

and so Marowak gets to reunite with her son one last time, Red saves the day and he gets a Pokeflute and mega-evolution stones, and then rides off after pointing out how Green screamed like a little girl. cool. but no actual ghost pokemon, hm.

Episode 3: Why Lots of Master Balls Will Never Be A Thing
and we open with another montage skipping past Erika and Koga, as well as Charmeleon becoming Charizard, another Ash/Red similarity of having a Charizard in Kanto.

and now they have to stop Team Rocket from getting the Master Ball developed or they’d be able to catch and sell to whoever they want. really, the Master Ball in general seems to be something that should be in mass production by now, but always seems to be some rare Ball that never gets produced in large numbers, I know its to preserve challenge in the pokemon games, but in-universe Master Balls should be everywhere and basically making all other pokeballs obsolete, with humanity basically dominating everything. if the Master Ball becomes anything more than a prototype, the entire pokemon world changes really fast and probably not for the better- no wonder the original anime decided to avoid mentioning it for the most part.

and so Red confronts Giovanni after getting Lapras! and loses because SURF! which is an actual move in this continuity! and Giovanni even points out how Red just leaves his friend Charizard lying there with out aiding him and how isn’t actually being a good friend to Charizard, even though Red says that he is friends to pokemon, he doesn’t live up to the ideal like Ash does.

and so we go through a montage where Blaine and Sabrina are defeated next, while a book says something about a new species of pokemon. kay.

and then we face…..Giovanni as a gym leader, who sends out Rhyhorn, while Red is like “screw you! your not a real Gym leader! I’m battling you as an enemy to all pokemon!”

and three pokemon lose to Giovanni’s Rhyhorn just. like. THAT! wow.

and Red of course wins against Giovanni who is redeemed and dissolves Team Rocket because he remembers when he liked pokemon and business and money didn’t clog things up. kay. well done actually.

Episode 4: Silly Red, Mew is For Codes!
so we open it Red getting past the Elite Four to face the Champion…..GREEN

yup, Red Vs. Green! CHRISTMAS BATTLE!

and Red wins with Charizard against Blastoise of course and Oak claims its all because he trusted his pokemon that he won against Green…..hm.

and now we get a montage of capturing more pokemon. including Pikachu, Articuno, Zapdos and Moltres.

but then Green shows up injured, and no one knows what this pokemon is. he got attacked by Mewtwo and its time for Red to capture the last one.

and we finally get to it, with Gengar up first!

and then Charizard MEGA-EVOLVES! but Mewtwo isn’t so easily caught!

and then Mewtwo is finally caught.

and just when you think it was all over….Red realizes that Mew exists and wants to go capture MEW…..and then it ends with Mew flying by, looking through the window as if going “huh.” and then flying away, carefree as ever.

Unfortunately for Red, Mew is not something you capture, its a Mythical pokemon you hope to one day receive the right code for at the right time so that you can receive it by the grace of the Nintendo overlords.

and my assessment of Pokemon Origins is…..its rushed. we go at such a breakneck pace in everything in this that while its really awesome and action packed, it also never lets us slow down and see more of Red’s character. he clearly has the right ideas in mind, but is he really a better trainer than Ash? we see so little that its hard to make a proper assessment.

but I’ll try anyways: look at how Red treats his pokemon in battle. he just sends one out after another in rapid succession, hoping to beat whatever pokemon he is facing with numbers. while he was smart to use type match ups, his pokemon clearly weren’t trained enough if they dropped like flies to Giovanni’s Rhyhorn, and if he really was all that great a trainer, it wouldn’t have come down to a Charizard vs Blastoise match in the Champion battle at all, and his true goal is catching them and completing the pokedex, not being a pokemon master and actually being good at what he does.

no, instead it seems that Red is lacking in quality in pokemon training-his pokemon faint so often that I’d consider him a horrible trainer, this series clearly hews closer to the actual rules of the game, so me? even one pokemon fainting is kind of a failure in my eyes. “last pokemon” scenario is one to avoid because it probably means you’ve already lost. Red instead makes up for lack of quality with quantity and wins because he wears his opponents down by repeatedly throwing different pokemon at them- a strategy I can tell you does NOT work in the game, because if your pokemon are dropping like flies, that probably means they not leveled enough for this battle to be won with less than all six pokemon. its inefficient and every time a pokemon faints, your friendship stat takes a small hit so it also means that if you want to take good care of your pokemon, you don’t let them faint no matter what. especially for certain pokemon that ONLY evolve at max friendship.

Ash? he goes for quality over quantity. he doesn’t willingly send his pokemon out to faint over and over again, with the Dragonite battle probably being the only exception, and even then thats after defeating all the other pokemon in Orange-Drakes lineup and constantly switching his pokemon out to make sure they don’t get too tired. he has few pokemon but the ones he has know things like Hydro Pump and Solar Beam. he had to defeat all the Gym leaders Red defeated but with only six pokemon, without even using the two extra he caught until the Indigo League, sure most of those weren’t legit for Ash, but in later regions he demonstrates he can earn Badges fair and square using only a limited team to do so compared to Red literally having every pokemon in existence at the time and pretty much tailoring his team for the specific challenge and….Red finding that his pokemon constantly faint because when your catching them all, you don’t have time to actually train them to be high quality pokemon that don’t faint every time you throw them into an important battle, despite all of Red’s talk of liking and trusting pokemon he really does treat them like cannon fodder in battle and only develops a strong bond of loyalty to Charizard.

really, Red is the opposite of Ash in that Red is pretty much a fiery passionate materialist pokemon collector whose pokemon drop like flies in his attempts to fight high-quality pokemon that people actually trained well and cared for. Giovanni is a better trainer than Red, because Giovanni took out three pokemon using only ONE.

does that mean that Traab and his super-Venusaur are the best? no. Pokemon is not developing ONE pokemon, its about developing a high quality TEAM. because once you meet something that can actually BEAT your super- single pokemon, the rest of your party drops like flies and you lose. Red never got the time to build an actual team, what he made was a lot of individual pokemon he never trained all that much and then resorting to Charizard his strongest when he had no other options, because all the others faint so easily.

sorry to tell any fans of Red but….Red is not better than Ash. he just sucks differently. and really isn’t a sympathetic protagonist to me. his goal is basically “complete the pokedex because this old guy told me to.” and the way he goes about it sounds like a manic obsession. I mean we never see him actually doing anything with all his captured pokemon, he sounds less like a great trainer and more like a great pokemon catcher, but certainly not a good battler.

all things considered? I prefer Ash stupidity and all compared to Red. I’m actually glad we got the normal anime that we have where the pokemon are actually sent to a ranch like lab where they can roam free, and our protagonist actually seems to get the actual point of raising a pokemon rather than just catching one and using it to battle. that and Ash actually feels like a real person and not a generic fiery youth with an obsession for collecting animal beings. this whole thing actually makes me wonder if this wasn’t created as a way for the creators to say:
“oh you want somebody who ISN’T Ash? you want somebody who actually catches them all and does it the way the players do it? FINE! here is RED! he uses his pokemon like disposable tools, has an obsession with catching them all for no reason and beats the Champion merely as a SIDE ACHIEVEMENT! he doesn’t actually care for most of them, he just wants to catch them! HAPPY NOW!? THIS IS THE ALTERNATIVE TO ASH!”
now, you’d say I’m confusing Red for Paul, but he is a different character aimed at examining the fandom with different aspects, trust me. but really if Red is the alternative to Ash, I’ll honestly say that I’m happy we got Ash. because dammit, I wasn’t inspired to be loyal and compassionate towards others by this Red person! he talks the talk, but he doesn’t walk the walk. I was inspired to do so by Ash Ketchum, who routinely does idiotic reckless things for his friends and pokemon and its because of that I actually like him, he actually stands up for his virtues rather than just talk about them.

sure, Red technically achieved more than Ash, became Champion and got 150 pokemon, but I wouldn’t say he is a good trainer. that and Ash has an actual personality outside of “must catch more pokemon” and Gary has a personality beyond “I must be the strongest!” Green. so yeah. Pokemon Origins: demonstrating why we didn’t do this in the first place, because honestly this version of it sucks and has flat characters.

as for whatever hypothetical Ash Vs. Red fight…..

ASH VS. RED:
*Red sends out first pokemon*
*Ash sends out first pokemon*
*Red’s first pokemon pwn’d in one hit*
*Red’s second pokemon pwn’d in one hit*
*Red’s third pokemon pwn’d in one hit*
*Red’s fourth pokemon pwn’d in one hit*
*Red’s fifth pokemon pwn’d in one hit*
Ash: wow, you really need to work on training your pokemon.
Red: Hey!
*Red sends out Red’s Charizard, it mega-evolves*
*Ash’s first pokemon pwn’d in one hit*
*Ash’s second pokemon pwn’d in one hit*
*Ash’s third pokemon pwn’d in one hit*
*Ash’s fourth pokemon pwn’d in one hit*
*Ash sends out Charizard*
*Ash-Charizard puts up a great fight that significantly weakens Red-Charizard but still gets pwn’d*
*Ash sends out Pikachu*
Ash: Pikachu! Use Thunder!
Pikachu: PIKA-CHUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!
*Red’s Charizard gets pwn’d*
*Ash Wins the match!*

why? because all of Red’s important fights always come down to all his pokemon but Charizard fainting in rapid succession then him using Charizard to win, while Ash’s fights actually use pokemon other than Pikachu to gain victory a lot of the time, and Ash has taken down Dragonite by weakening it with Charizard then using Pikachu to finish it off, so why not Red’s Charizard as well? Red’s Charizard is strong especially with mega-evolution, but mega-evolution isn’t invincible, I’ve taken out mega-evolved pokemon with normal pokemon, with one hit even so mega-evolution is not THAT much of a power boost. combine with Charizard being half flying type and Pikachu being the most powerful Pikachu in existence, and Red’s best pokemon is quickly toast.

o yeah: Pokemon Origins is the story of a collector who catches all pokemon for some old dude while claiming to be friends with them while carelessly throwing them out to battle, who beats his strength-obsessed rival as a side venture, and while technically accomplishing more than Ash well.....be honest, would you want this guy around in say, Mewtwo Strikes Back?:

Mewtwo: I am the most powerful pokemon in the worl-
Red: Go ultra ball!
*Mewtwo catches it with telekinesis then destroys it effortlessly*
Mewtwo: It seems you need to be taught a lesson.
*Pwns Red with psychic powers*

or Pokemon 2000:
Red: oh a Moltres! go Ultra Ball!
*You caught a MOLTRES! would you like to give it a nickname?*
*suddenly the world starts going out of balance*
*Lugia suddenly twisters up from the ocean floor*
Lugia: You IDIOT! what were you thinking!? YOU DOOMED US ALL!
Red: oh a new pokemon! I gotta catch it! Go Ultra Ball!
*Lugia slaps it aside*
Lugia: I will probably enjoy this more than I should.
*Hyper Beams Red into oblivion*

Yeeeeah, Screw Red. he isn't actually that badass, all his victories are so narrow that I could easily see him losing those fights if a tiny amount of luck wasn't on his side. Congratulations Pokemon Origins you made me prefer the guy who lost the Indigo League because he made a mistake that no rookie would make over the guy who completed the pokedex and became Champion.

[ThePhantom]

Hmm, well the fast pace sounds interesting, but it seems like they could have used a bit more time for this miniseries. It does sound like the normal anime is better. Hmm, seems similar to another series that has a version that cuts out much the filler at the expensive of the character development. Also, I'm not sure if Lugia is using hyperbeam when it has a signature move, Aeroblast.

[Lord Raziere]

If your talking about Legend of Korra, your wrong, Legend of Korra is miles better than Pokemon Origins. it runs laps around Pokemon Origins. the only way Legend of Korra could be like Pokemon Origins is if you wrote it like this:

Episode 1:
Korra runs off to Republic City, meets Mako and Bolin, goes through a montage of winning Pro-Bending effortlessly, meets Tenzin, Amon appears, we go through a montage of fighting the Equalists, then we go to the final fight with Amon where he is defeated.

Episode 2:
Korra tries to train with Unalaq, civil war breaks out, montage of civil war, Korra loses her memory then trances up a quick few minute history of Wan, masters going into the spirit world in an instant, montage of spirit world travel, final fight with Vaatu.

Episode 3:
Korra goes on a montage of gathering Airbenders. meets the thief-airbender guy. meets Earth Queen, montage of being chased by Zahir. Zahir kills Earth Queen, then Korra comes in and beats Zahir all by herself.

Episode 4:
montage of Korra and Kuvira reconquering the Earth Kingdom. Kuvira goes crazy and tries to take the kingdom away from the rightful king which Korra supports, she then kicks Kuvira's ass. the final half of the episode focuses on Korra falling in love with Asami complete with a montage and a kiss at the end. The end.

see what I mean? see how RUSHED that would feel compared to how that actually gone? and how much character development would be left on the wayside? thats Pokemon Origins. not even LoK is that rushed and flat.

[AGD]

why? because all of Red’s important fights always come down to all his pokemon but Charizard fainting in rapid succession then him using Charizard to win, while Ash’s fights actually use pokemon other than Pikachu to gain victory a lot of the time, and Ash has taken down Dragonite by weakening it with Charizard then using Pikachu to finish it off, so why not Red’s Charizard as well? Red’s Charizard is strong especially with mega-evolution, but mega-evolution isn’t invincible, I’ve taken out mega-evolved pokemon with normal pokemon, with one hit even so mega-evolution is not THAT much of a power boost. combine with Charizard being half flying type and Pikachu being the most powerful Pikachu in existence, and Red’s best pokemon is quickly toast.

Charizards Type becomes Fire/Dragon instead of Fire/Flying after mega-evolving and Dragon has a resistance against Electric. Ash would have a better chance with his Gliscor, Donphan or Krookodile. Okay, Pikachu could still win, because it is Ashs Pikachu.


Yeeeeah, Screw Red. he isn't actually that badass, all his victories are so narrow that I could easily see him losing those fights if a tiny amount of luck wasn't on his side. Congratulations Pokemon Origins you made me prefer the guy who lost the Indigo League because he made a mistake that no rookie would make over the guy who completed the pokedex and became Champion.

If people are talking about how badass Red is, they are mostly talking about Game-Red. This is mostly because of his entrance in Gold/Silver, even if we don't find out much about him in that scene. He just stands on Top of Mt. Silver, speaks no Word, has a badass batlle pose and the Pokemon with the highest Level in the whole game series(his Pikachu is LV 81 in GS and LV 88 in HGSS). Maybe Game-Red is more like Ash. His Team is based on Kanto-Ashs Team(Pikachu, Lapras, Relaxo, Venusaur, Chairizard, Blastoise) and Origin-Reds Team is much different.

[ThePhantom]

I was talking about sailor moon actually, and sailor moon crystal. Both are tellings of the same story, but one has character and the other doesn't.
Korra and Avatar are two different stories.

[Lord Raziere]

Charizards Type becomes Fire/Dragon instead of Fire/Flying after mega-evolving and Dragon has a resistance against Electric. Ash would have a better chance with his Gliscor, Donphan or Krookodile. Okay, Pikachu could still win, because it is Ashs Pikachu.


yeah, I'm only using Orange Islands Ash for this battle since I don't know what his later pokemon are. but Pikachu still wins against Mega-Charizard, because Pikachu took out Dragonite. the original Dragon type, and has defeated freaking GROUND TYPES with electric attacks sometimes. Ash's Pikachu must be some super-bred monster that has Special Attack through the roof with an unique ability that no one else in pokemon world has. like maybe:

Ashes to Ashes:
Electric attacks have a chance of ignoring type resistances entirely.

yeah, when I was a kid, I was kind of confused why everyone in GS kept calling Ash "Red" and why he changed his wardrobe to be like that. and honestly, the two people are so similar in appearance and concept that I really consider Red to be nothing but Proto-Ash. Origins just goes to show that Red would in fact be a horrible trainer because he accomplished that much in so little time. he caught so many pokemon so easily that they're disposable to him in battle. he won so much because he was able to tailor his poke-party to optimally take down anyone, therefore he doesn't form a good bond with any of them except his Charizard. he won so much that his methods never struck him as flawed or bad without any failure to point out his mistakes. while video-game Red has even less character than him and might as well just be Ash if he was mute.

so not only is Red a horrible trainer, I have reason to doubt that he is an actual character and not just some Ash blueprint with the personality chip yet to be inserted in. speaking of Johto, I haven't yet gotten around to watching the first three episodes of that yet, I should get started on that soon.

Edit: also, Ash gets a Krookodile? awesome, thats a good pokemon. mine has helped me win two Elite Four runs in separate games, don't remember how exactly I used it in Unova but Krookodile did help majorly against the Kalos Elite four, with it being good against both Fire AND Steel, as well as Ghost.

[AGD]

yeah, I'm only using Orange Islands Ash for this battle since I don't know what his later pokemon are. but Pikachu still wins against Mega-Charizard, because Pikachu took out Dragonite. the original Dragon type, and has defeated freaking GROUND TYPES with electric attacks sometimes. Ash's Pikachu must be some super-bred monster that has Special Attack through the roof with an unique ability that no one else in pokemon world has. like maybe:

Ashes to Ashes:
Electric attacks have a chance of ignoring type resistances entirely.

But Dragonite is also a flying-type, so electric attacks are normal effective(a weakness and a resistance counter each other out) against it. So it is still a different deal. And Ashs Pikachu is also that Pikachu that got beaten by a starly in one of the early routes in Sinnoh. I am not sure, if I remember that correctly. Maybe it was a Taillow in Hoenn or a Pidove in Unova, but you get my Point.


yeah, when I was a kid, I was kind of confused why everyone in GS kept calling Ash "Red" and why he changed his wardrobe to be like that. and honestly, the two people are so similar in appearance and concept that I really consider Red to be nothing but Proto-Ash. Origins just goes to show that Red would in fact be a horrible trainer because he accomplished that much in so little time. he caught so many pokemon so easily that they're disposable to him in battle. he won so much because he was able to tailor his poke-party to optimally take down anyone, therefore he doesn't form a good bond with any of them except his Charizard. he won so much that his methods never struck him as flawed or bad without any failure to point out his mistakes. while video-game Red has even less character than him and might as well just be Ash if he was mute.

so not only is Red a horrible trainer, I have reason to doubt that he is an actual character and not just some Ash blueprint with the personality chip yet to be inserted in. speaking of Johto, I haven't yet gotten around to watching the first three episodes of that yet, I should get started on that soon.

Hey, dont say anything against Game-Red(I am not sure, when you are talking about which one or about both). He is still awesome, because... okay, I don't have any rational reason, but he is awesome.

If I think about it, Game-Reds popularity is very similar to Chuck Norris Popularity. But I like him more than Norris.


Edit: also, Ash gets a Krookodile? awesome, thats a good pokemon. mine has helped me win two Elite Four runs in separate games, don't remember how exactly I used it in Unova but Krookodile did help majorly against the Kalos Elite four, with it being good against both Fire AND Steel, as well as Ghost.

And Ashs Krookodile wears sunglasses... I am not kidding you.

[zimmerwald1915]

Hey, dont say anything against Game-Red(I am not sure, when you are talking about which one or about both). He is still awesome, because... okay, I don't have any rational reason, but he is awesome.
Game!Red isn't supposed to have an existence independent of you. You're supposed to come to the top of Mount Silver full of memories of what it was like to play Red and Blue (or the remakes), what you did, what you felt, and attribute all of that to Red. On the one hand, that kind of work product can be produced by lazy writing, and even if it's intentional it kinda leaves out the people who played Gold and Silver (or their remakes) first. On the other, when it works, it works; see, e.g. Link.

[AGD]

Game!Red isn't supposed to have an existence independent of you. You're supposed to come to the top of Mount Silver full of memories of what it was like to play Red and Blue (or the remakes), what you did, what you felt, and attribute all of that to Red. On the one hand, that kind of work product can be produced by lazy writing, and even if it's intentional it kinda leaves out the people who played Gold and Silver (or their remakes) first. On the other, when it works, it works; see, e.g. Link.

Then I have a rational reason. He is awesome, because he is me.

[Lord Raziere]

Hey, dont say anything against Game-Red(I am not sure, when you are talking about which one or about both). He is still awesome, because... okay, I don't have any rational reason, but he is awesome.

If I think about it, Game-Reds popularity is very similar to Chuck Norris Popularity. But I like him more than Norris.

And Ashs Krookodile wears sunglasses... I am not kidding you.

Well, I am sorry to say this......but thats the entire problem with Game-Red and his popularity. he isn't an actual character who faces challenges and experiences loss and whatnot, he is just a walking Poke-Norris List who stands around in a cool pose on a mountain. it sounds to me fans of him don't actually want a character who actually has to work for anything or experience setback, they just want a figure to idolize, a near unreachable badass to defeat to prove that they're more badass than him and such. which you can do, whatever floats your boat, but my tastes don't run that way. Origins-Red is a uncaring kleptomaniac and Game Red is basically just an Ash clone who'd probably engage in Perfectly Symmetrical Violence if he and Ash ever fought so....not a fan. if you want a trainer thats better than Ash, just take a look at Richie! won all the way Ash's match without losing a single pokemon using only pikachu, charmander and butterfree. has more personality than Game-Red and uses his pokemon properly instead of like cannon fodder like Origins-Red does.

really, only two things are good about Origins in my eyes:
1. the faster more actiony style of pokemon battles (but not the lethality)
2. Giovanni's redemption, because he actually shows more character in those few moments than Red in the entire special as well as being a reminder to older fans of what they like about pokemon when they were young.

then Ash's Krookodile has good taste then. I love wearing sunglasses.

but lets get on with the show:

Johto Journeys

Episode 1: Here We Go Again
and, NEW THEME SONG! ITS A WHOLE NEW WORLD…..

We’re lost again. Great.

“I just need time to think!”-Misty
“well this must be a brand new experience for you.”- OW! ASH, YOU’VE LIVED UP TO YOUR NAME AT LAST AND GIVEN MISTY QUITE A BURN!

“you two have to be more mature like me”- Brock.
uh yeah, say that again when you tell us what happened with Ivy, Brock
*Brock goes blue-sulking*

oh hi Suicune! your looking particularly blue and mysterious today! nice look for you, say do you know what happened with Raikou and Entei, or do you guys not talk all hat much while your busy running back and forth across Johto for no reason? cause Ash meets a fake one and I’m curious if you have any info on the real one.

oh just gonna mysteriously disappear just like that? oh thats cool, you must be doing the whole “mysterious pokemon appears out of nowhere to confound the viewer and give him a sense of wonder” thing, Ho-oh does it all the time and I know a big Dragonite that once did a substitute mysterious pokemon gig for Lugia cause Lugia was busy taking care of an argument between Moltres and Articuno at the time.

wow, they all run up and fall down the slope in the biggest display of repeated stupidity ever. you guys are not good at pattern recognition, are you?

oh and then Jigglypuff shows up for no reason and goes sliding down after them. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

oh hey Team Rocket, looks like you found some place to get food! your going to steal the food aren’t you. but wait! plot senses tingling…..there is going to be pokemon int hat building, and Jessie and James will steal them, because why stop at food?

and Professor Elm everybody: too absent-minded to actually look up to who he speaking to and just assumes that Nurse Joy will find Totodile herself, because he is too busy with his research. yeah. Elm is no Oak. and oh, the Totodile appears right next to Team Rocket. thats convenient.

“I can almost hear the crowds at my first Johto league match”- surely booing at you for your massive screw up with your Charizard, I’m pretty sure that big of a screw up at that big of event doesn’t go unnoticed.

and Nurse Joy is OUT. and late! Brock is too concerned to let something as sensible as just waiting for her to come back stop him.

and wow, Brock has definitely gotten more forward and passionate about his love/crushes since he got back from Ivy. he used to be more quiet about it, more sensible, but now he is basically charging in at the first opportunity and throwing himself at them. guess Ivy really did a number on him.

and Elm is beating himself up over his absent-mindedness. its ok Elm, I feel ya. I’m a bit like that too.

and Elm explains the Johto starters and reveals that he was Oak’s best student apparently, but then goes off and says that he was given an A- on his thesis paper because he thinks that Oak failed to recognize the genius of his work…..wow, high opinion of yourself, Elm?

and Elm just keeps talking and talking. yeah, Elm is exhibiting a lot of signs of autism here. doesn’t mean he has it, but I would consider it likely.

unfortunately for Team Rocket, Totodile is biting Jessie’s outrageous hair. guess it thinks its some sort of toy….

and Jessie and Meowth argue over who should call the boss while James actually calls the boss. thats what you get for failing your spot checks while in a heated argument….

“do any of you by chance know the bosses area code?”- LOL, this is just so full of fail….

“does the motto”
Jenny *blinks*: could you repeat that?
just….this is so funny, Jenny is just so bewildered by this that she doesn’t even know what to make of it.

and so they venture forth, probably to eventually get their own Totodile in a later episode, as well as the other two Johto starters. pity we don’t find out what girl gets Elm’s Totodile though….

I'm starting a little slow this time, so that I don't do too much at once and burn myself out. Johto is three seasons long, so I'm going to have to pace myself here. I estimate that about 50-60% of the original Team Ash's adventures take place here? like Kanto+Orange Islands is like around 81+36=117 episodes, and Johto is like....by my calculations....41+52+65=158 episodes, so yeah, approx. 60% of the original Team Ash's run. Johto literally has more episodes than both arcs before it combined. its actually a good thing they split it up into three seasons like this so I know where to stop and take a break.

[AGD]

Well, I am sorry to say this......but thats the entire problem with Game-Red and his popularity. he isn't an actual character who faces challenges and experiences loss and whatnot, he is just a walking Poke-Norris List who stands around in a cool pose on a mountain. it sounds to me fans of him don't actually want a character who actually has to work for anything or experience setback, they just want a figure to idolize, a near unreachable badass to defeat to prove that they're more badass than him and such. which you can do, whatever floats your boat, but my tastes don't run that way. Origins-Red is a uncaring kleptomaniac and Game Red is basically just an Ash clone who'd probably engage in Perfectly Symmetrical Violence if he and Ash ever fought so....not a fan. if you want a trainer thats better than Ash, just take a look at Richie! won all the way Ash's match without losing a single pokemon using only pikachu, charmander and butterfree. has more personality than Game-Red and uses his pokemon properly instead of like cannon fodder like Origins-Red does.

Okay, maybe I say now nothing, that you didn't figured out yet, but I just want to say, that I didn't really meant anything ill, when I said, that you shouldn't say anything bad about Game-Red. I am aware, that he isn't a real character and comparing him to a real character like Ash is just silly(I wouldn't do that, but I know that some Fans do that). I find your Reasons for not liking either Red legitimate and thought the joke with not having any rational reason would reflect that. I didn't wanted to correct your taste or anything like that.

[ThePhantom]

Well, Giovanni likely moves about a bit, so its not that unreasonable not to know the exact number to reach him at.
And I'm surprised that Totodile got off so easily, Jesse usually gets dangerously violent when someone messes with her hair.

[Lord Raziere]

Well, Giovanni likely moves about a bit, so its not that unreasonable not to know the exact number to reach him at.


oh yeah he is a crime boss/"legitimate" businessman. the guy must travel constantly to secure new deals and such both legal and non, as well as to keep any potential Jennies off the trail. and why would he keep JJ-Rocket up to date on where he is, they're miserable failures and probably would only lead a horde of Jennies to him if they ever found out where he is

@AGD: Sorry, I didn't mean anything by it, just calling things as I see them, your cool.

lets try for two this time:

Episode 2: Casey is an Annoyance
and Team Ash is walking along when they come across….oh god, I think I actually remember this girl, I forget her name but she is like, freaking annoying for some reason, and wears a yellow jacket and has a Chikorita and constantly talks as if she is some game commentator…..

so her name is Casey. yeah, Casey, please drop the sports commentator act. its not cool, its just annoying. and get better clothes while your at it, your jacket is definitely too big for you, it doesn’t work with your shorts, and why all the LINES in your getup!? and while we’re at it, why the little cone-horn thing around your neck? its not as if it actually amplifies your voice or anything, it just seems to be there to complete your image as girl who is too obsessed with looking like some super poke-coach or something.

oh right, I forgot the most annoying thing about Casey: SHE SINGS THIS STUPID SPORTS CHANT SONG AT THE DROP OF A HAT! I’m not saying she is a bad person or anything but really, she is annoying as all hell.

oh and Team Ash’s reaction to Casey is basically:
Ash: o_o
Misty: 0_0
Brock: o_0 or as this Brock we’re talking about: -_=
Yeah, I don’t know what to make of her either, aside from her general annoying-ness.

and then spots them and is all like frowning seriously at them…. and then runs up and goes all fangirl for Pikachu, demands it to give her a shock of electricity, and gets her wish and regrets it. what did you THINK was going to happen you crazy little brat!? is there any wonder why I consider this Casey annoying?

oh right, she is a baseball fan. sigh. that explains it.

oh and she has this obsession with one day building a pokemon team consisting entirely of yellow pokemon with stripes. she may be annoying character but I will say this: she has character. how viable is that anyways? building an entire team of yellow pokemon. the show here shows Pikachu, Electabuzz and Beedrill, I guess you could say that Plusle or Minun could be added if we include Hoenn, perhaps Dunsparce if we want a Ground type (or is it a bug type?) to make sure this isn’t a complete electric-fest, but really I can’t think of enough pokemon off the top of my head to fit her criteria, and I’m already estimating that it might just result in her getting a lot of electric types, which is not good for a competitive environment no matter well she trains them, but she could work as a Gym Leader…..she has just the right amount of crazy and thematic obsession to qualify.

oh, and its revealed that she likes yellow so much because her family has been rooting for a baseball team for three generations. must everything come back to baseball with you Casey? oh who am I kidding, of course everything does.

AHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, the Electabuzz baseball team always finishes in last place, yeah, suddenly this is starting to make sense: she wants to win for a team that alway loses.

and Ash gives it to her straight about her baseball team is basically the Team Rocket of baseball, and she is like “YOU INSULTED THE HONOR OF THE ELECTABUZZ BASEBALL TEAM!” and challenges him to a pokemon battle.

ah crap, this is going to be some match where Ash loses for some plot reason or something to make Casey look badass, isn’t it? pleeeeaaaaase don’t be that….

no wait he sent out Charizard. this is going to be short.

and Casey loses! yay! that ought to teach you a lesson, you annoying little pipsqueak.

one loss doesn’t mean your a loser, it just means you bit off more than you chew you idiot. a real winner doesn’t win all the time, they fight until they lose, pick themselves up again, make themselves better than fight and until they lose again, until they climb so high that its hard for them to lose because they learned from their mistakes so often!

oh good, she remembers what her family taught her and gets back up. at least her family taught her that much.

oh crap, Team Rocket comes in trying to sympathize and turn her against Team Ash complete with stupid Electabuzz baseball getups. Casey, this will only end in bad things. your simply too new at this to beat Ash, and well, whatever rematch Team Rocket has planned probably involves cheating, so you won’t be doing it legitimately.

oh they are doing it smart and convincing her that ASH cheated. yeah, this isn’t going to end well…for anyone.

wait, when did they suddenly show up in a baseball stadium!? they were out in the wilderness then suddenly we’re in a baseball stadium! what gives, did they just teleport here or something!? they don’t have any psychic pokemon to do that!

Ash, your such a loser that your friends only root for you because your the underdog. wow.

“some friends they are.”- Agreed, Ash. agreed.

“when I get my own team, I hope they are a brave and beautiful as you are, Pikachu.”- Casey
Pikachu: complimented accepted, by the way would you like to join my harem? you’d make a great first addition.

“I wonder if she has a sister”- oh god, Brock, stop having those thoughts! bad thoughts! bad thoughts! Bad Brock! BAD!

and thats Casey, and thank GOD she is only a recurring character and not a main one, because she gets annoying real quick.

Episode 3: Heracross is Badass
so we come across a bunch of Heracross. kay.

oh and the official episode title is “A Sappy Ending” my reaction is: How is that different from all the other episodes? :smallamused: thank you thank you, I’ll be here all week…..

so, the Heracross are vital to the ecosystem here, cool, then just capture only one Ash, you don’t need all of them, and I do recall you catching a Heracross….besides catching more than one pokemon of the same species is redundant in most cases anyways. like, I only have two Gardevoir because poke-bank doesn’t transfer items for some reason so I have one on Alpha Sapphire and one on X because two Gardevoirite mega stones, might as well use them. I hope that they do fix that though, I don’t want to go through some arcane process just to transfer over my mega-evolution pokemon to the generation after this without losing the things that y’know. make them mega evolve.

oh and Pinsir are invading the forest and damaging the ecosystem, species migration can do that, Ash catch them if you want a horde of bugs with big horns, you’ll be saving the environment.

Misty, you do know that people and pokemon can do things for more than one reason right? like, he could both be helping AND trying to get some food? after all, why not multitask?

and Team Rocket is behind this as usual, what does the sap have some great value or something? no, they just think its so tasty that they want to… sell it…. to everyone…

…..uuuuhhh….oh right, this is a forest protected by a ranger guy, I was going to say that this might actually be legal but if this ranger dude is here, it probably isn’t…..

and Heracross joins the party! and um, yeah, good episode I guess, its an environmental message, but its a better one than the last ones, because it shows what happens when the ecosystem is interfered with: one pokemon goes to another place to get food they normally get somewhere else, this causes problem for the other pokemon, which would soon cause problems for other pokemon….

and yeah, these three episodes we meet an annoying trainer who to my best memory, WILL recur and a new bug type pokemon. problem is, where did Butterfree go? I remember Butterfree being set free somewhere along the line between Kanto and early Johto to go live with a pink Butterfree gal I think, but so far that episode just hasn't come up. did I just miss it? hrm, thats annoying.

[ThePhantom]

It appears you skipped the episode. Its listed as episode 21, between the ghastly and the first meeting with Sabrina. Not sure how you missed it through.

And yes, Heracross, that is quite a strong pokemon, a nice addition to Ash's team.

[Lord Raziere]

It appears you skipped the episode. Its listed as episode 21, between the ghastly and the first meeting with Sabrina. Not sure how you missed it through.

And yes, Heracross, that is quite a strong pokemon, a nice addition to Ash's team.

oh that explains it. yeah, the source where I watch the Pokemon episodes didn't show that one for some reason and instead showed a repeat of the first Sabrina episode. but yeah, turns out Butterfree left quite early. so yeah, I apologize to Ash for any berating of him not using Butterfree after episode 21, my mistake, didn't know, thought Butterfree left much later.

unfortunately, we're kind of just starting the first Johto season, so while I do want to go back and watch that just to make sure its all covered, now may not be the best time. or maybe I should go back and watch it NOW just to get it out of the way.... maybe wait until we get to a pokemon farewell episode, because I'm pretty sure that Ash starts losing Kanto pokemon to make room for Johto ones, I do remember him getting his own Chikorita after all....tie it into the theme thats going on then.

[AGD]

Dunsparce is Normal-Type, not Bug or Ground. It has Serene Grace, so it can be useful, but there are much better Pokemon with that Ability.

And now I want to make a competitive Team for Casey. Lets see. Ampharos would be a good Pokemon for her Team. Cofagrius could maybe count as a yellow Pokemon with Stripes. Vespiqueen would also count, but that would be redundant with Beedrill. Maybe Ninjask, but that has only a yellow Head with one stripe. Raikou would be great. Maybe Sunflora, but that has also only a yellow head and not really stripes, but just lines. Galvantula would be good. Still too much Electric- and Bug-Pokemon and not really much useful Pokemon. Sorry, I can't make a really good Team out of this. Mega-Beedrill and Raikou would be her best Pokemon.

[Lord Raziere]

yup, thats pretty much Casey's failing right there: she has the right attitude, the drive and so on, but she is so focused on her themes and aesthetics that her own desires are basically going to shoot her in the foot down the road. Misty is aiming to be a good Gym Leader so she has a reason to stick to a theme, while Brock has slowly been branching out so that he may start to take care all pokemon, not just rock types. Casey? someday she is going to meet some guy with a Camerupt who will then proceed to kick her ass six ways to Sunday, and she will only have herself to blame.

Episode 4: Poor Onix
so we’re going through a valley and meet a Donphan. kay.

and Ash and Brock argue over who should capture the Donphan. thats a change. they normally get along pretty well.

oh hi Onix! long time no see! how you doing you big rock snake?
*gets pwn’d by Donphan in no time*
Oh……not well I see….

oh, the Donphan belongs to this girl. um, y’know I’m wondering how viable charges of stealing pokemon are when your aren’t around to confirm that pokemon is yours and it seems to be wild. this girl should really keep her Donphan closer to her if she doesn’t it want it to be mistaken for a wild one, and I’m really starting to wonder how often it is to mistake a pokemon for a wild one and try to capture it….

and Brock outright lies about his involvement. wow, some friend you are. oh and, rare and talented breeder, YEAH RIGHT, you said that the Donphan’s horns were short and that a good breeder was needed to make them grow!

oh, Team Rocket is looking for Amberite. that might actually be legal! as long as they don’t get distracted by the Donphan, I have no problem with thi- oh who am I kidding, they’re going to go for the Donphan as soon as they see one.

oh. the plan is to get a Donphan TO sniff out the Amberite. viable plan. unfortunately it wouldn’t occur to them to just um. y’know. ask Michelle to borrow one of her Donphan for this or anything, they’re just going to steal one because they can.

James knows how to take care of pokemon better than Jessie, or at least persuades them better.

wow Brock, your Onix has gotten taken out twice in the same episode. it sure has fallen far from its brief spotlight of stopping Team Rocket from stealing a moonstone and being staircase on a sinking cruise ship. its kind of sad that those are the highlights of Onix’s career really. the rest is just it just getting worfed.

of course Team Rocket steals the one Donphan that can’t actually do what they want it to do. thats just bad luck.

and yeah, Heracross is still recent, but the battle was still needed. Ash needs to get acclimated and Heracross to get more experience.

and we go off into the sunset with Brock having a T_T face and everyone else being happy. kay.

Episode 5: Worst. Hoothoot. Ever.
They’re lost again….ok, what starter will hey pick up now?

I like how everyone’s reaction to Ash trying to solve the lost situation is: -_-

and Gary M. Oak (The M stands for his middle name: Mother****ing) saves the day again with a Hoothoot. cool.

um, Gary? they may be your rivals but come on, don’t leave them out there…..why are you walking away…..they will be lost forever, what the hell Gary…..why you are abandoning them….come on, you must have some compassion in there somewhere….come on….

guys, you need to find some tall grass and walk around in circles until a Hoothoot jumps out at you! don’t you know pokemon encounters 101?

and we encounter an old dude with a Hoothoot. kay. and I like how they initially doubt that he is real because of how ugly and scary he looks.

oh the old woman is a she and the Hoothoot is a Brock-emon that leads travelers who rent it astray. kay. wow what a dickish Hoothoot.

oh and the Hoothoot is afraid of the illusions even though it CAN SEE RIGHT THROUGH THEM! argh!

oh finally getting tough on a pokemon Ash? this is a switch! where was this Ash when Charizard was BURNING YOUR FACE OFF?

oh and Team Rocket shows up and fails purely out of luck this time. whatever.

and Team Ash safely gets through the forest thanks to a sexist Hoothoot with confidence issues!……yay?

Episode 6: BELLAWESOME!!!
so we come to a city named Forando, where a pokemon festival thing is happening. cool.

“think I should do a television show with my pokemon?”-Ash
“now who would want to watch anything like that?”- Misty
oh that moment of self-awareness. it is golden. I think it knows that the show isn’t that good but that lots of people watch it anyways, so its like “why do so many people watch us?” or something.

……I don’t think a Flareon jumping through a hoop of fire is all that impressive. its fire type, its resistant to its own element. now a Glaceon jumping through a hoop of fire- that would be impressive.

oh and look, Bellossom- more like Bell-AWESOME. and they’re putting on a show!

oh come on Meowth, the one time you could actually legitimately make money, and you get stage fright!? AGH!

oh god the bad jokes…..Pik-achoo….Bulb-a-sores……Caterpie? I don’t get it. oh Butterfree, I get it.

and again James dresses up as ballerina. definitely a transvestite at least.

wait, is that Flareon pink!? did the animators make a mistake in that shot? cause I’m pretty sure even shiny Flareon aren’t pink.

oh and then the Bellossom kick Team Rocket’s ass with dance choreography. awesome.

and then tomorrow Team Rocket’s ass is kicked by Bellossom again. and then we come to the final scene where they finally pull off that stunt. awesome.

nice to see an episode about Bellossom, its a cute pokemon and really an improvement over Gloom and Vileplume, while still having a lot of utility- why my Bellossom in Alpha-Sapphire alone knows poison-power, sleep power AND stun spore, thats really flexible. pity that only one status effect can be applied per pokemon.

but yeah, first one was meh, second one I didn't like cause the Hoothoot was a jerk and Gary was even more of a jerk than usual, but I like the Bellossom episode. cause mostly.....Bellossom. yeah, I like cute pokemon like them. sure I like the awesome ones like Salamance or Scizor, but there is room to appreciate cuteness as well.

[ThePhantom]

Does your Bellossom know petal dance? Its kinda made for that move.

Anyways, I found the hoothoot episode to be funny, but that could just be me.

[Lord Raziere]

not yet unfortunately, I haven't gotten around to leveling her. there is just so much to do, what with leveling the extra starters you get post-game, all the legendaries to capture, mirage islands...and I haven't even gotten around to battle resort. I do however have a Lilligant that does, but that pokemon is basically Bellossom but taller and more humanoid anyways, and she is one of my best pokemon. so yeah, I look forward to making that Bellossom just as awesome.

Episode 7: Lesser Than They Seem
and so we open in city famous for a thief, and Misty screaming in the face of a Spinarak. Misty, I think it was just saying hi, don’t be rude.

and Team Rocket is emulating the famous thief….how does Payday work in helping them escape exactly? its just throwing a bunch of money out of nowhere.

and Jenny, aren’t you supposed to like y’know, be able to recognize when your staring at bottle caps and payday coins? speaking of which, I don’t think we ever actually saw Payday get used in the anime, its move referred to but not shown, does it even actually create money and coins? and if so, why aren’t the governments employing Meowths to control the currency of the world? since they can both create money and are great at taking it back, they might be a good option to control inflation.

wow, Jenny you set up trap webs HALF A MILE AWAY from the crime scene!? in the middle of the street? what logic are you running on here? “durrrrr, the webs might catch the criminal by random, it might also catch innocents but duh, thats worth da risk duhuhuhuhuh….” Jennies are Useless!

uh-oh, Jenny is roping them into cracking the case because they helped with Totodile back in New bark Town. nice to see continuity like this though, but I wouldn’t call Team Ash “professional” in any sense of the word….

and wow, Genetics and family lines really are strong and flowing in pokeverse aren’t they? Jennies exist far back as a century ago….

dude, Meowth, James is right, don’t eat from the priceless bowl, you might ruin it!

“you should teach these copycats a lesson!”
“like how you shouldn’t pretend to be someone your not?”-Misty
yeah, the theme for this episode is both Team Ash AND Team Rocket pretending to be greater than they actually are. weird.

“now we’re never going to get famous!”
“yes but we still have fans!”- true, James
*they start trying to fan their way out*
…..man I can’t tell when your being literal, when your making puns and when your breaking the fourth wall anymore, you three mix it all into your normal dialogue so much!

always, that done, the day of a rich person oddly focused on a singular trophy is saved.

Episode 8: No Coin For Snubbull
eh, this episode is gonna be about a Snubbull. hm. I’m not sure of what to think of Snubbull really.

oh, I actually feel sorry for the Snubbull, its getting smothered by an owner who won’t give it space. poor thing. Brock sees this right from the get-go and the tour of Snubbull’s place just confirms it for him. guy is real sharp when beautiful girls aren’t involved.

and Team Rocket comes in and why is the Snubbull obsessed with biting tails?

and whats with rich people wanting to arrange marriages for their children and such in this anime? are they all control freaks?

and wow, Snubbull is badass

and so Snubbull’s trainer learns to give Snubbull her space by seeing her battle, thus proving that she can protect herself……only for the rich lady to start thinking about expanding the nature wilderness thing and Snubbull thinking “yeah, screw that, I’m going after Meowth’s tail” and runs away anyways.

yeah, this episode had a great lesson: to pay attention to one’s pokemon rather than just throwing money at everything, unfortunately this lesson is then ignored when the rich lady forgets it about two seconds after she learned it and Snubbull runs off just to start a new running gag. meaning this episode was…..thats right….completely pointless, because what Team Ash was trying to prevent happens ANYWAYS. I wonder if Snubbull and Jigglypuff meet and have a combination of the running gags….

so yeah, weird how these two episodes both had mistaken assumptions and rich people in them. and the Snubbull episode could've been great....if it didn't end with the lesson being unlearned in the blink of an eye just to start a running gag. but then again, a person learning their lesson in such a short amount of time is not really something that would believably happen anyways, so points for realism I guess.

[ThePhantom]

I did say that some Jennys were good at their job. This one wasn't too bad, and her ancestor was quite good. And we have the start or continuation of Jamie's precious bottlecap collection being messed with.

And the start of the Snubbull joke, that was fun.

Especially how I think it ended. The Snubbull's trainer finally catches up and she's now ripped! Then the snubbull evolves and now they're both physical powerhouses.

[Lord Raziere]

are you sure mistaking three kids for professional crime fighters counts as "being good at her job"? as well mistaking bottle cops for Pay Day and setting up an invisible trap in the middle of a city where anyone could run into it? she seems kind of....unobservant if you will. just saying.

Episode 9: Brock Is Compassionate
and we’re beginning with them spotting a Stantler.

“you have to use Stantler psychology!”-Brock, as he crouches down and acts like a cat. EPIC FAIL. Brock, you have rolled a natural 1 on your Handle Pokemon check, quit while your ahead.

and suddenly a bunch of Stantler appear behind him. heheheheheh. Brock, you are in rare epic fail form today.

and Brock just doesn’t get that Jenny wants him to come down to the station. wow Brock, you really are not doing well this episode.

ok, you rolled good on noticing that the stantler stampede was actually an illusion first, so kudos for that.

and this episode is actually turning out to be a great examination of Brock and how he is good at empathizing with the pokemon around him. its rare to have him in the spotlight, so I think its a good thing that he does have his moments sometimes.

and Brock knows he has to make the Stantler go away and get back to its herd even if it tears at his heart inside to be a little cruel to it. the feels man. the feels.

y’know, this secret weapon could’ve been replaced with some nose-plugs/gas masks or something and a net, James. just saying, cause you spent a lot of money on this impractical thing….especially since Onix gets to be useful for once and destroy it.

and the Stantler returns to its herd, and overall this is a good episode. we have Brock having the spotlight for a change, we have a problem being solved with good observation on the pokemon breeding expert, we have a very well-written portrayal of empathy and how Brock decides to get it back to its home rather than catch it even though the Stantler likes Brock a lot, its on par with the giant magikarp and magnemite west episodes.

also random thought: Brock Meets Fluttershy
Brock: Why hello I can tell your raise your pokemon really well! Whats your name by the way?
Fluttershy: Um…..(Whats a pokemon, what is he talking about?)
Brock: don’t be shy, I’m a Pokemon Breeder too! and I can tell that you are a great one, even if I don’t know what these species are.
Fluttershy: Eep! (Breeding!? I don’t make them do that! I just take care of them!)
Brock: by the way, might I say that you look positively beautiful? you just have this cute look about you that makes me want to look at you forever and never tear my eyes away from you ever again.
Fluttershy: I-I….(Oh no! this is so overwhelming! Why is complimenting me all of a sudden!?)
Brock: and you really have the voice of an angel, you should speak up more often! perhaps sing!
Fluttershy: I….uh…..Bye! *flies away in panic*
Brock: Wait! Come back! I didn’t get your phone number!

I totally see this scenario happening, and Brock totally being a brony. really I’d go so far as to say he is a Prototype Brony: he cooks, he cleans, he took care of a large family of children, he is compassionate to all pokemon, knows a lot about pokemon health AND he can be badass like anyone else when he needs to.

[ThePhantom]

Well, those three kids have fought team Rocket at least once a week for months, which does make them at least amateur crime fighters. And the point of the episode was for her to get better at her job.

As for this episode, while its nice for Brock to get an episode, I'm afraid the focus on Stantler bothered me. I'm not fond of its design and its a pain to fight in the games. Too much confuse rays.

[Lord Raziere]

Bah. Zubat and Golbat are far more annoying, as well as Emolga. seriously, Emolga is an annoying pokemon to fight.

Episode 10: Ash, Chikorita’s Unrequited Crush.
oh hey its a sleeping Chikorita. and hey I think I actually remember this episode from some dvd I purchased once or something. Ash and Chikorita get stranded in the snow, and Chikorita ends up joining the party and basically has a crush on Ash.

wow, Bulbasaur you go down because of one light hit on the head? how low is your Defense dude?

um Ash….0_0……your not supposed to use pokemon that strong just to capture a pokemon….Charizard might make it faint before you can do so….

wow this Chikorita is badass, its using its vine whip creatively to trip up Charizard like its using some form of Poke-judo or something….

and Ash, holy crap you are tough as Chikorita, you jumped from a cliff to land on a speeding car you fool.

oh but you forgot your pokeballs. GREAT. now you only have Pikachu to get things done. but that isn’t really an impediment where Team Rocket is concerned, they lose to Pikachu all the time.

aha! Ash does his own copy-motto. I actually find this funny. Guess its just weird seeing somebody else do this unnecessary dramatics for no reason.

oh and then this ridiculous downhill snowball ride happens because team rocket trap and such. kay. they need some reason to get lost…

d’aaaaaaw Ash rescues the Chikorita from the cold and it likes him now. but wait….how does Ash know that this Chikorita isn’t just some completely different Chikorita from the one that he rescued from Team Rocket, and is just thankful that someone came along to rescue her from being out in the cold?

and then Chikorita outright KISSES Ash……..Chikorita x Ash, OTP?
*hears the sounds of guns being loaded*
I’M JOKING!

but yeah, Chikorita is a cute pokemon and demonstrably badass. best Johto starter. Totodile is meh, Cyndaquil is kinda cool, but Chikorita is definitely the best. but this probably means Bulbasaur is going to go away soon. and really, it might be best for Bulbasaur; lately its starting to lose a lot.

Episode 11: Quagsire? More like Derpsire
aw crap. the Quagsire episode. I don’t like Quagsire. they’re design is just…how to say it…well it makes them look like idiots, thing is we already have Psyduck and Slowbro for that, but they have redeeming features. Quagmires are just stupid-looking thieves.

….really Misty you think that thing is CUTE? well its subjective I guess, but really? really Misty? I like Psyduck better than Quagsire, and I don’t consider it anywhere near cute. I can’t explain why yet, I just don’t like Quagsire.

and they even acknowledge this with Psyduck staring at Quagsire for a long minute. then the GS Ball is stolen! don’t bother going for it Ash, it will all turn out to be pointless anyways.

they’re under arrest for violating Quagsire preservation restrictions!? who’d want to preserve these ****ing things!?

“Quagsire are very special to the people in Cherrygrove city.”
why? they come and steal round things from them to use in some stupid blue moon ritual thing for no reason. I’d want to exterminate them for such a thing. and the town is happy with this because of some stupid superstition about good luck charms, what the hell.

and unfortunately because of Chikorita the GS Ball falls out and gets taken

and so Team Rocket goes after the Quagsire as well, because the Quagsire are stupid thieves that take everything round for no reason.

yeah, whatever. that GS Ball is just going to handed off to Kurt anyways, so that luck won’t last long…. if it ever comes, Ash being the loser that he is.

and yeah I don’t like this episode it features superstition, pointless pokemon ritual and a pokemon I just don’t like.

Episode 12: Jame’s Secret Message
um…..Team Rocket, aren’t you standing on top of the thing your supposed to slip over Team Ash? wouldn’t you fall in as well?

“we usually don’t wash out this early in the episode!”- another fourth wall breaking moment.

and so we meet a Ledyba trainer who spreads pollen and flies around using her ledyba. cool.

or you could find them by using Chikorita to emit a sweet scent to make them come to you….

and James sends out Victreebell….and says something garbled, hold on let me find out what he said:
“the (something)net and 4kids are the devil!”
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! nice that they slipped that in. ON 4KIDS NETWORK NO LESS.

and so the episode ends with Ariel learning that she doesn’t actually need the whistle to command them. cool.

The Chikorita episode was great, the Quagsire episode, I don't like, but while the Ledyba episode by itself is pretty normal, the secret backwards message in it is gold, and pretty telling of how later anime would get butchered by it- Pokemon really got off light compared to others. thank you for sending it Team Rocket.

[ThePhantom]

Well, in the pokemon world, not all superstitions are false. The ghost of misty point was real after all.

And we have a new pokemon for Ash, and the start of the running gag of Jamie regretting sending out a grass pokemon. It only results in pain for himself.

edit Oh. Well, I'm going on memories and your process. Sometimes I makes mistakes.

[Lord Raziere]

....start? man, the Victreebell thing has been happening since the Butch and Cassidy Debut episode, it long past "started" this is just an instance where I actually found it notable.

Episode 13: Jessie, The Nurse That Never Was.
oh no, the title is “Ignorance is Blissey”…..

and so we open with them encountering a Blissey, and it fixing food for them. cool.

and I think we’re starting to see that Blissey is bad at her job….whatever it is….

yes, but Nurse Joy, no matter how hard she tries at being a nurse, IF SHE IS BAD AT BEING ONE, FIRE HER.

and Team Rocket sneaks in…..and it turns out that JESSIE ACTUALLY KNOWS THIS BLISSEY.

as in, Jessie once wanted to be a pokemon nurse like all the Joys, but no matter what she tried, she couldn’t make it, so she went to a school to a pokemon nurse…..FOR CHANCEYS. and is actually better at doing things than this Blissey.

so yeah, this is making me suspect that all of Team Rocket has their potential to be good people: James has an empathy with Pokemon that is similar to Brock’s, Jessie wanted to become a nurse, and Meowth has shown that he can care for others, like an old flame. and this could be the reason why Team Rocket keeps recovering from all these situations just fine: Jessie is trained as a Nurse, of COURSE she can make sure they’re all healthy….well, as healthy as they can be I guess.

and so Team Rocket sacrifices their attempt to get food for the Blissey. they’re completely ok with this. Yeah. totally evil. I think Team Rocket by now is so diluted in their evil that they’re verging on Neutral here. like they’re still Chaotic Evil, but only slightly. that and its nice to finally get some backstory for Jessie and that even she can be kind of all three Team Rocket members. I think Team Rocket is more of an example of how three otherwise good people end up becoming bad because of their circumstances than anything else, because whenever they do get an actual chance to do something selfless they do it wholeheartedly. they’re not really generic evil villains, thats only what Team Ash thinks because they never saw most of Team Rocket’s good moments.

[ThePhantom]

And more Jessie backstory, yes. This was a good episode, with a hint of what's it like running the pokemon centers.

[Lord Raziere]

I think I've figured out what kind of pokemon trainer Ash is. y'know Pokemon-Amie? yeah, it actually gives you mechanical benefits to raising affection with your pokemon- like sometimes you get a free Sturdy to endure a hit that would other KO, or land a critical hit more often, or avoid attacks more often, or even shake off status effects for the trainer- things like that. effects that are very similar to some of the things that Ash's pokemon pull off.

Therefore, I think its obvious: Ash is a very good Pokemon-Amie player. its why he gathers so little pokemon each region: he is too focused on playing Pokemon-Amie with the few pokemon he has to bother with catching more. Pikachu isn't so strong because of breeding or whatever, its strong because it has five hearts of affection with Ash and scores critical hits a lot.

still doesn't explain why Pikachu loses to some random Starly though.

Episode 14: School For the Pokemon Idiotic
CHILDREN! PIKACHU IS NOT A TOY! THIS WILL NOT END WELL FOR YOU!

oh no, another pokemon academy episode.

thanks Brock, you roped us into yet another side quest. I’m starting to realize that Brock’s weakness for beautiful girls is pretty much the all-purpose plot hook for this anime. need Team Ash to try to teach kindergarten? just have a beautiful lady teach it and Brock will pull them in! want Team Ash to go along with being mistaken for crime fighters? Brock is here to automatically agree to it and outright lie that they are so that they have no choice, as long as its Jenny he is speaking to! Team Ash would fight a Salamance if Brock knew it kidnapped a princess.

oh god, Brock your copying a fat pirouetting principal with a mustache, go home your drunk.

OH GOD, ASH WHY DID YOU SEND OUT CHARIZARD TO PLAY WITH CHILDREN, DON’T YOU KNOW HIS TAIL ALONE IS A FIRE HAZARD!?

and the little tosser of a child tries to grab Pikachu and gets shocked for it. serves the little idiot right for trying to mishandle Pikachu. Pokemon are not toys.

I think the pokeball just captured something else like a rock or something, Pikachu has shown that its much too tough for any pokeball. also the little urchin has committed attempted KIDNAPPING, so I have little sympathy of him.

oh, Zacky caught a Bellsprout. heheheheheh. serves him right!

and I remember Sprout tower from Gold. not very well mind you, I remember there being a bunch of ghost trainers in it I think? and I had to get to the top early in the game for some reason. can’t remember what.

and yeah, the little idiot learns to accept his Bellsprout, whatever, TO THE GYM BATTLE ALREADY!

Episode 15: A Sane Gym Leader! Finally!
we finally get to the Gym….only for Team Rocket to get Pikachu because of “Pokemon Bureau” disguise….kay

and Faulkner saves Pikachu! and he is actually a pretty nice guy. he makes friends with Ash, they share how they love Pidgeot, it all sounds like what pokemon trainers would actually talk about in day-to-day conversation. oh and he is the Gym Leader. YAY! a Gym Leader who is not crazy!

Ash you idiot, Pokemon battles are not places where being a hipster works. what did you think was going to happen? “I’m totally going to beat with a grass type because thats not mainstream!” ugh.

and Pikachu takes that Hoothoot out QUICK! type match ups: why every Gym Leader is a joke once you get one pokemon who can own all their pokemon with one move.

um, Pikachu, don’t suddenly perk up like that, best leave this to the pokemon we all know its going to come down to….

CHARIZARD VS. PIDGEOT! FIGHT!

and Charizard can’t keep up with Pidgeot’s sheer speed and is losing because of it, but Pidgeot being so fast has let its movements get predictable and stale since why would need to improvise? it moves so fast, that no one can react to its movements, so it never learned to do moves that keep the opponent guessing.

and thus we get the first Johto League Badge! No pity, no Team Rocket interference, no rematch, no help earning, no bull****. a major step up. this episode is pretty much all about establishing a new tone for Gym Leaders after well….the first eight all being jerks, evil, crazy or Brock and Misty. none of this is played for laughs, its all just pure suspense about whether Ash will win or not. Team Rocket was just here to introduce Faulkner and prove that he is actually a great guy who is more than just some guy who sits around in a gym all day contemplating the birds.

and yeah, the first of these episodes I kind of dislike because of little kid being a major idiot and proving why in the real world that Pokemon would never be allowed near children because their parents would have heart attacks about them even being near a little mouse that can shock things to death.

but the episode after that pretty much is good all around for showing Faulkner as a competent, sane Gym Leader who gives Ash a good fight, and for establishing pretty how Gym Leaders would be shown for the rest of Pokemon: as cool guys who not only test trainers but do things to help the local community around to prove some responsibility. Johto is pretty much where all the weirdness and rules exceptions stop and a more consistent framework for pokemon begins to start. Kanto was when they were still trying to figure this out, but you can tell Johto is when they start to find their pace.

[ThePhantom]

Well, the bellsprout episode was at least a look at another part of the world, how little kids get into pokemon. It also had Team Rocket trying to steal a building and nearly doing so. So that makes it worth it.

As for the Faulkner battle, that was pretty good. A good fight.

[AGD]

type match ups: why every Gym Leader is a joke once you get one pokemon who can own all their pokemon with one move.

I was always for Gym Leaders with strategic themes instead of type-themes. Like one offensive Gym Leader, one defensive gym leader, one with a Weather-Team, one with Trick Room, one with a balanced Team etc.

That is a bit Off Topic, but I made a competitive Team out of Ghost- and Dark-Pokemon(Mega-Sableye, Bisharp, Gengar, Mandibuzz, Hydreigon and Chandelure). Maybe that would be something for Gym Leaders. Two Types instead of one. My Team works pretty well, since almost every weakness from a Ghost- or Dark-Pokemon is the resistence or immunity of the other type. The only exception are fairy-type-attacks, which are super effective against Dark and normal effective against Ghost, but my Gengar and my Chandelure are resistant against Fairy-Attacks, while my Gengar and my Bisharp have super effective STAB-Attacks against Fairys. Chandelure is unfortunately almost useless in that Team and I should propably replace it, but Chandelure is my Favorite Pokemon. It is a living soul burning chandelier! How couldn't I love it?!

[Lord Raziere]

Chandelure is unfortunately almost useless in that Team and I should propably replace it, but Chandelure is my Favorite Pokemon. It is a living soul burning chandelier! How couldn't I love it?!

oh I know, I have a Delcatty that is my favorite pokemon. it has normalize so all any super-effectiveness I could possibly get will never come, and it probably doesn't have the best stats, but I wouldn't trade it for a shiny high IV Skitty with a held Moon Stone. I also have a Chandelure, but unfortunately I transferred it from White as a Lampent and never got around to nicknaming it, and now I wish I could. maybe I should breed a Litwick and nickname that? only problem is figuring out how to get another Dusk Stone without fighting Inver and hoping for the best. I mean really? and worse: you've got to count how many super-effectives you get when fighting him, because if you get TOO MANY, you get a Rare Candy instead! I don't need Rare Candies, I get levels by actually leveling! the evolution stones are honestly more valuable.

Episode 16: Wow, a Marill That Knows Uproar
“that cliff is the perfect spot for our first meeting”
“yea as soon as you meet, she can jump right off.”- I was going to say BURN! but then I realized it was a suicide joke and now I’m all like :smallsad:

its a Marill!

and wow, all of you didn’t notice THE PRETTY PINK BOW ON ITS TAIL. wow. just wow. failed a spot check indeed.

oh hi Team Rocket, another scheme another day eh? if you don’t succeed try try again after all.

and they get separated…..

wow, Willamina can be tough when she feels her Marill is in danger….then pretty much devolves into a lady who falls for Brock every when else.

wow, stupid Marill, CRIES WHEN ONE THING GOES WRONG, LAUGHS AT AT ATTACKING BEEDRILL! LOGIC!

hm, I can see Chikorita becoming problematic in a way thats different from Charizard: Chikorita wants all the attention of Ash to herself and is jealous that Pikachu receives it instead.

oh Misty, your always so Tsundere.


Episode 17: Thank You Unstoppable Tank of Destruction?
and we begin the episode with Team Ash being asleep. uh-oh, Team Rocket is bound to come along…

oh and some Sentret are Sentreting on about something. don’t know don’t care, Sentret are pretty much the Rattata of Johto, they’re nothing much.

and while Team Rocket rides around in a snake-tank, a Sentret makes Togepi roll down hill and wakes her up.

…..and then the two start playing around in the snake-tank and activate it. aw crap, why are they so stupid?

….how does Team Rocket make their money? they keep talking as if they somehow earn money, but we never see them doing anything that indicates so and they keep blowing all that money on big inventions that end up being destroyed. are they just somehow very good at scamming people for research grant money or something? but yeah, seeing as Team Rocket mentions paying out of pocket for their inventions twice now, the “they ask Giovanni for money/inventions” theory holds no water.

…..when did everybody suddenly get dressed in army gear?

and wow, do things go ploin-shaped. both Team Ash and Team Rocket basically try to dig big holes to stop the Arbotank, but it doesn’t work.

so now they have to send in….Charizard.

so Jenny informs them that the town is thankful for the out of control tank making a tunnel to go through the mountain instead of around it. okay….

I do like how they showcased Sentret’s abilities though.

Episode 18: Farewell, Ye Awesome Fire Lizard
“Your not going to win much badges by only fighting Team Rocket.”
“but then it wouldn’t mean much if they gave out badges for beating those pathetic losers”-Misty
“agreed”-Ash
“agreed”-Brock
“agreed”-Jessie
“agreed”-James
wow…..your are so aware of your failure-ness are you, Team Rocket?

so suddenly everyone is saying that its unfair to use Charizard, ahem, to Misty, Brock and Team Rocket: SCREW YOU! Pokemon was never about fairness! A trainer can use whatever pokemon he likes as long as he legitimately catches it! if Charizard is unstoppable, that just means he is a good pokemon to use. You don’t want a pokemon thats stoppable in pokemon battles. that and if you really think Charizard is all that unstoppable, then you Misty haven’t been doing your freaking JOB to prove that wrong and get your Water types trained! or Brock either, because you two are Water and Rock Gym leaders, or at least former ones, respectively, Charizard being both fire and flying, is weak to water and doubly weak to rock! so you two are just being whiners who haven’t gotten their pokemon trained in how long? oh right, you two are basically Ash’s cheerleaders 90% of the time, his snarky non-action jerks 9% of the time, and 1% actually doing anything. so I think you two are just not trying hard enough to get your pokemon trained to beat Charizard, because its far from impossible. just take that Onix and make it fight everything it possibly can until its the most badass Onix ever then use Rock Throw on Charizard! it will be super-effective! oh and lets not forget how Charizard freaking LOST to a Poliwrath in Orange Islands, and not even because of a water attack! Why? because it wasn’t listening to Ash. your basically berating Ash for actually having a pokemon he can trust to use as a panic button when things go wrong and he needs a lot of power to get the job done! Especially since Team Rocket constantly figures out new ways of disabling Pikachu! Let him have the Charizard, and y’know, progress? have a pokemon that he can use to win battles more easily? the entire point of this journey is to build up, to make one pokemon a powerful fighter to win battles one after another until you have a massive army of pokemon to choose from and build a team from to win! by criticizing Ash for having a powerful Charizard, your shooting Ash’s development as a trainer in the foot! Pokemon is a world where type match-ups are basically one big game of rock-paper-scissors there is no fairness here, there is only the question of how to build the team that can best exploit it!

But I digress, we were busy opening the episode where Charizard leaves Ash so that he may become trapped in an ever cyclical time loop from which there is no escape, please, continue.

yup, the Charicific Valley. where Charizard will soon find itself staying because **** the protagonist actually progressing and getting stronger, lets let him be a nice guy and give away his best fighter so we can continue making money.

ah, only weak Charizard show off like that. hm. see Brock and Misty? Ash’s Charizard isn’t even one of the BEST Charizards ever. by Charizard standards its a loser. your worried over nothing.

and yeah, Ashizard gets his ass kicked by the gentlest, laziest Charizard in the valley. I wouldn’t be worried about Ashizard being overpowered.

oh and Team Rocket plans to somehow steal a better Charizard than Ashizard. even they know that their chances are low. but they try anyways because thats Team Rocket for you.

sigh, poor Team Rocket, sacrificing their schemes to let another Pokemon succeed in life because they empathize with Charizard feeling like its a loser.

but yeah, it is a legitimately sad moment when Charizard leaves to go train in Charicific valley. you may have been a jerk most of the time, but really, you mellowed out man. hope you come back, y’know aside from the time you do in the third movie. Charizard is one of the most iconic pokemon if my memory is correct so….its probably going to return at some point. but now we have more room for whatever pokemon Ash catches next I guess. my prediction? Cyndaquuiiiiiiiiil! we need someone to fill the Fire slot in Ash’s lineup after all. since this was a farewell episode though, now I have to do this:

Going Back In Time:
Real Kanto Episode 21: Whatever Happened To the Butterfree of Yesterday?
and so we open on Team Ash flying around in a hot air balloon, meeting some Butterfree.

and they release Butterfree so that it can find a mate. wow, they’re not even being coy about this.

and Butterfree gets SHOT DOWN. by a shiny pink Butterfree. ouch.

ummm……guys your love advice sounds very…..um….dominating…..I don’t think thats how it works….

and I just noticed: the voices for the early episodes are really annoying.

and they save the Butterfree from Team Rocket, the pink Butterfree is so impressed that she falls in love and they go off into the sunset with Ash remembering all the times that he shared with Butterfree. nice send off for Ash’s first caught pokemon. I apologize for all the times that I berated Ash for not using Butterfree when it had already left.

but yeah, we say farewell to Charizard after two other episodes because Ash needs to be smacked down for actually progressing on his pokemon journey and then we travel back in time to say farewell to butterfree. good, we finally got those out of the way...

[ThePhantom]

The tank episode was a weird one. As for the Charicific Valley, well Charizard would make it so that it would seem unreasonable for Ash to struggle with the up coming gyms. That and I think its needed to show off the new pokemon and Ash's team is the best way to do so. So, a fair bit of OoC reasons for why they did it. And yes, Charizard will show up more than just the 3rd movie, which is what I'm looking forward to.

[Lord Raziere]

speaking of the third movie, I will be viewing it after the episode known as "Forest Grumps", according to my pokemovie timeline.

Episode 19: Starvation is Apparently Evil.
so we open with Team Ash being thirsty, and then being helped by none other than a beautiful lady who takes them to her home with Sunflora.

and Team Rocket tries to get a Sunflora for themselves just so they can eat. y’know money gets you all the food you can eat to. its why greed is greater than gluttony. just saying.

I like James being all snooty and criticizing here. I can now imagine James being the judge of some high stakes pokemon contest or something and going “well that pokemon’s performance clearly was lacking in style…”

and uh oh, the Snubbull hath return-eth.

Meowth is useful for once. I can now imagine Meowth being some translator who goes around negotiating between pokemon and humanity, or even helping people figure out what the problem the pokemon are having instead of having to interpret or guess.

Brock can probably translate because his eyes are the same as a Sunflora. you know its true, even if doesn’t make any sense.

poor Meowth, Team Rocket really abuses him, he should really join Team Ash, he would lend a good snarky/cynical wisecracking edge to them.

Team Ash, I’m kind of sort of…unsympathetic here, Team Rocket just wants to EAT for crying out loud, its not as if those noodles are particularly valuable, I mean what would the actual people with lives do with it? they would still need to do jobs to earn money and relying on prize-food for a whole year would make them forget to buy their own food eventually, while Team Rocket seems to always be on the move and have some weird schrodinger’s budget thing going on, so they might actually need it more than the people around them! Just let them have it!

so yeah. we saved the day from starving people who just want some food. hooraaaaay.

eh, I don’t like the sun, smiles or things that smile too much anyways, and Sunflora isn’t that great of a pokemon. I prefer Lunatone. Team Rocket should’ve won in this episode.

Episode 20: Green With Envy
and so we open with Ash and some other trainer engaging in some Perfectly Symmetrical Violence.

good, we’re addressing the growing Chikorita problem early. don’t want ANOTHER Charizard on our hands, now do we?

there is psychologists in this universe! good! unlike some other shows I can name *glares at Neon Genesis Evangelion*

but really, you didn’t need a psychologist to tell you that Chikorita is envious, its clear as day.

ok, we’re at night lets try to translate, or at least interpret this:
Pikachu: hey, Chikorita, can we talk about this jealousy thing?
Chikorita: There is nothing to talk about!
*razor leaf*
Pikachu: Hey! come back! Chikoriiiiita! come on, lets all be friends here, don’t be unreasonable!

Primeape: YOU WANDERED INTO OUR TERRITORY! WE ARE UNREASONABLE JERKS AND WILL NOW KICK YOUR ASS!
the three other fighting: ey, she took out da boss, bow down!

so Chikorita now has three fighting types to boss around. this won’t end well.

Pikachu: Ey! Chikorita, I found was, so worried, come along lets get back to Ash…
Chikorita: I don’t need to.
Pikachu: wait what.
Chikorita: oooh guuuuyss….

“come on,the other shoulder is just for you.”- good on you Ash, though it must be kind of heavy having two pokemon riding on your shoulders.

Episode 21: I Wanna Fly Away/ See the Stars/ The Milky Way…
I like the continuity nod to the Orange Islands episode here.

and there is a Hoppip. yeah, aside from its cuteness, I don’t remember Hoppip having much going for it. it seems to be the Magikarp of Grass types or something…or was that Sunkern?

oh so,t they’re useful for predicting the weather. kay.

…..is that a shiny Oddish? I don’t think I ever saw a brown oddish before, so yeah, looks like its shiny.

no, the Oddish just has makeup on it for some reason.

and the Oddish is an Oddish that wants to fly. poor thing. the closest it will probably ever get is becoming a Bellossom and jumping really acrobatically.

yah, Meowth, that Delivery Hoppip plan wouldn’t work at all…

and even Jessie and James doesn’t like Meowth’s idea for delivery Hoppip. Pidgey’s or Wingull’s are probably more reliable anyways.

ok, these disguises are bad even for you Team Rocket, I mean you have R’s on the BACK OF YOUR COATS FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! and all thats covering your faces are stupid masks! even by paper thing disguise standards this is a fail….

….oh come on, first the sunflora now the oddish? does every grass type and their mother know Solar Beam now?

so yeah, these three episode are.....eh, good, aside from the first. the third one definitely has a lesson to learn, but I can empathize with the dream to fly....who hasn't dreamed of flying at some point? and the second is good about getting that Chikorita jealousy in control early.

[ThePhantom]

Well, they don't exactly get the jealousy under control, but it usually isn't an issue. As for the starving team rocket, they were trying to steal the food. If they had asked to start with, they might have gotten some.

[Lord Raziere]

Well, they don't exactly get the jealousy under control, but it usually isn't an issue. As for the starving team rocket, they were trying to steal the food. If they had asked to start with, they might have gotten some.

and? what would some person with a home and such do with all that food anyways? the participants already seem well off, they don't need a year supply of noodles, so its nothing but a pointless extravagance, when they just want to be known as the person who won the trophy this year, the food is entirely extraneous to their desires. and shouldn't that big amount of food be donated to a charity that gives this sort of stuff to kids and such who need it anyways, even if Team Rocket doesn't deserve it? it just seems like a waste, I mean what, a trophy isn't good enough?

I mean think why wars and such are fought: its often over basic stuff like food, or water. the evils of such conflicts happen because there is a legitimate need that needs to be satisfied, but with legitimate means of satisfying them being unavailable, so what is a person to do, just starve, what if they deny them just because they're criminals if they ask? its that dilemma that leads to situations like this.

Episode 22: The Goddamn Gligarman
and so we open with Team Ash falling into hole and getting rescued by a guy who calls himself “Gligarman” LET THE JOKES COMMENCE.

Gligarman, Gligarman,
Does whatever a Gligar can
Leaps a gap, any size,
Catches thieves just like flies
Look Out!
Here comes the Gligarman.

Is he strong?
Listen long,
He's got a tough pokemon.
He can jump and leap like lead
Take a look overhead
Hey, there
There goes the Gligarman.

In the chill of night
At the scene of a crime
Like a streak of light
He arrives just in time.

Gligarman, Gligarman
Friendly neighborhood Gligarman
Wealth and fame
He's ignored
Action is his reward.

To him, life is a great big bang up
Wherever there's a hang up
You'll find the Gligar man.

the cowboy guy is her father and sounds like him, as well being kind of pudgy….I think I know who Gligarman is. yup, its the store guy. I think everyone knows he is Gligarman, they just don’t tell him because he is experiencing a mid-life crisis, so he decided to dress up as a childhood hero and everyone just goes along with it because it sells toys and he actually helps people once in a while.

and yeah, Team Rocket are definitely the villain…’s henchmen at least. the real super villain is Giovanni, except Giovanni actually doesn’t use them as his henchmen, he just sends them off on impossible errands to screw up, knowing that they aren’t competent.

and so Latoia becomes Gligirl……kay then. one year later a Jenny moves in and arrest them both for vigilantism and then their shop goes out of business. hey you know that it would happen! Jennies Are Useless after all, and its perfectly in genre for the police to hunt the vigilante instead of the actual villains.

Episode 23: Shockingly Good Mentor
oh hey little Mareep, what’re you doing here?

and huh, the mother is keeping her from battling because she doesn’t thinks he is responsible. hm.

I like Ash being a mentor here, he is actually teaching how to care for pokemon quite well, like how to pay attention to his pokemon getting worn out in battle. I think the girl needs someone like Ash to give her a real battle so that she can learn what its really like rather than just training because training and actually battling are two different things, which her mother wasn’t able to do, and thus Mary learns her lesson better by being shown in battle what she would do wrong rather than just being told, like she need to be shown the consequences a little.

and yeah, this is actually a good moment where Mary gets a more realistic assessment of whether she is ready or not without being discouraged from doing it entirely, with her mother being reassured that she knows whether she will do well someday.

Team Rocket is at it again! shocked by Fluffy 3….2….1…

and so we end with Mary actually competing. kay.

and ummm.....well the second is good with a good lesson, but I'm not so sure about the first of these...

[AGD]

And so Latoia becomes Gligirl……kay then. one year later a Jenny moves in and arrest them both for vigilantism and then their shop goes out of business. hey you know that it would happen! Jennies Are Useless after all, and its perfectly in genre for the police to hunt the vigilante instead of the actual villains.

Or maybe she has some battles with them, until she becomes some sort of Commissioner Gordan. And then Mr. Mime-Man arrives and becomes Gligarmans Archenemy.

[Lord Raziere]

:smallfrown: Why must Batman infect everything good and sacred to me in this world?

Episode 24: Shingo, The Arrogant Optimizer
the hole plan again? well Team Ash has fallen for it before [/rimshot]

who is this old dude? and he beat up Team Rocket.

and YEAH! Misty calls him out and his mysterious pokemon fight bull! she is isn’t afraid of someone just because they have Scizor! you tell him, Misty.

so this Muramasa guy is basically a Veteran with an elite pokemon. careful Ash. if you fight him, it will be tough…

oh I see what Muramasa is up to. he has an arrogant student called Shiro that is getting too big of a head, so he brings in Ash to try and set him right.

hm, Shiro: early attempt at deconstructing the pokemon fans who optimize their battles or something? he uses a laptop to use facts and data to predict whether he would win or not.

and wow, Jessie REALLY doesn’t understand computers. guess her poor upbringing never exposed her to the web….

yea yeah, Ash defeats Shingo because instinct I guess.

Episode 25: Hello Ye Cute Fiery Ant-Eater.
…..why are all the fire type starters plagued by arrogant entitled trainers who could easily be bullies in a high school show? I’m calling him “douche” because well, thats what he deserves and he wasn’t given a real name.

wow, Team Rocket actually goes through a flashback montage sequence of doing menial job for money. it seems Team Rocket are really just a bunch of lower class workers who occasionally make an invention to get Pikachu….

and hey you found the Cyndaquil! but the douche with the Sandslash is not far behind…nor is Team rocket.

and what the hell, a twerp-seeking gum missile?

hey douche don’t use poison sting, that will just y’know, poison the Cyndaquil and potentially make it faint before capture, trying paralyzing it or putting it so sleep instead.

and Cyndaquil is a pretty defensive fire type isn’t it. didn’t even use flame to defeat that Sandslash. a real nice contrast to Charizard. but he does torch douche, so thats a plus.

I remember when I played Pokemon Gold that what I chose was a Cyndaquil. I was stupid back then and tried to beat everything with it. wish I could’ve kept it now….guess I’ll just have to find a new Cyndaquil and raise that instead. (man, Fennekin, Cyndaquil, Tepig, Torchic….I like my fire types don’t I? I think I might’ve chosen Charmander back in Red and Blue to….)

Episode 26: The Town of Crazy Slowpoke Worshippers
so the region is experiencing a drought. kay.

and Team Rocket uses their invention for something useful for once and instead discover an underground spring of Slowpoke. huh, they must have insomnia if they aren’t yawning.

oh and they reach Azalea Town. cool. but the Gym is closed so they have to deliver the pointless GS Ball first….

what, these people are INSANE for Slowpokes apparently.

and Kurt is dressed a slowpoke. weird.

and the Slowpokes actually make it rain by yawning? but….why isn’t the world like…covered with rain clouds or something? argh, I’m too tired…..can’t even muster a proper question…..another pokemon another mystery….

and yeah, Kurt reveals he is the slowpoke costume guy. whatever.

maybe its me just being tired and not having much of my brain working right now, but these episodes just seem ok. not good not bad, just ok....not much to say either for me....

[ThePhantom]

Ah, the scissor fight episode, I liked that one. I found it interesting. Hmm, don't think I saw the Cyndaquil episode.

As for the slowpoke episode, that is somewhat matching how it was in the games. You had to beat team rocket and save the slowpoke before you could do much in Azalea Town.

[zimmerwald1915]

I remember when I played Pokemon Gold that what I chose was a Cyndaquil. I was stupid back then and tried to beat everything with it. wish I could’ve kept it now….guess I’ll just have to find a new Cyndaquil and raise that instead. (man, Fennekin, Cyndaquil, Tepig, Torchic….I like my fire types don’t I? I think I might’ve chosen Charmander back in Red and Blue to….)
M'right there with ya, mostly. I chose Charmander, Cyndaquil, Torchic, and Fennekin (and Charmander again, because I could get the wizard and dragon starters in the same game and why would I do anything else!?) in Red, Silver, Sapphire, and Y respectively. I never played Diamond/Pearl or Black/White, but I probably would have gone with Piplup and Snivy.

[Lord Raziere]

zimmerwald, you have done good by avoiding DP and BW, because DP is slooooooooow and only has like, TWO fire pokemon in the entire game-some stupid monkey and Ponyta- while after playing through BW again, I realized how LETHAL BW is. I chose a Snivy this time, and was it a bad idea. only super-effective against one Gym leader, while my Tepig defeated the normal, bug, ice, and flying Gyms, I think, its been a while since my first playthrough, which I liked at the time, was the first time I really got into catching a lot of pokemon, and I still like the darker storyline of BW. but yeah, you basically chose all the starters I would.

trust the person who replayed both DP and BW just to transfer over a Palkia to Alpha-Sapphire to get Giratina without having to fight the Sinnoh Elite Four in DP's slow rate, especially against Cynthia, who is supposedly one of the toughest Champions ever made, never fought her though, hope the next remake is Sinnoh so that I can replay it and get the legendaries I'm missing, and maybe even a chance at Arceus...seriously, Sinnoh is probably the region that needs a remake the most.

going to get around to the next three episodes tomorrow....

[AGD]

:smallfrown: Why must Batman infect everything good and sacred to me in this world?

Because you brought up Spiderman and Gligar looks more like a Bat to me. We can replace Mr. Mime-Man with Sableye-Man(The Pokemon, that is the closest to a Goblin), if it makes you happier.

[TheCountAlucard]

Batman is the night - you can't escape him. :smallamused:

[Lord Raziere]

See!? He even infects my favorite time of the day: night time. he and people like Solars get worshipped by everyone for what? doing things LESS flashily than others? how does that even make any sense? but that is neither here nor there, we're talking about Pokemon. you want to talk about that stuff, PM me.

Episode 27: Wait, what are POKEBALLS made of?
Why are thanking Team Ash? they didn’t actually defeat Team Rocket, that was the Slowpoke’s doing. they TRIED yes, but….it was the Slowpokes that saved the day.

yeah, Kurt’s balls are the first we see of variant balls outside of pokeballs, great balls ultras and the rare masterball. they never caught on through, instead we’ve got things like Quick Balls, Dusk Balls and Timer Balls that are far more applicable.

eh, don’t have much to say about this episode aside from it being the first episode we see Pineco, with Brock catching one. and so we say goodbye to the completely pointless GS Ball. its been……a time GS Ball. its been a time.

Episode 28: Oh Hey Look, Defenses That Don’t Work in The Games.
….what kind of bug Gym leader can’t even get down from a tree? no signs of crazy so far though….

wow, failed in record time, Team Rocket.

this Gym leader’s voice is annoying yet familiar…..is Bugsy voiced by the same guy who voiced Richie?

uh-oh, why do I have the feeling that Spinarak vs. Cyndaquil isn’t going end well for Ash? its going to be one of those type match-up defying bull**** victories for the weaker type isn’t it?

called it, Cyndaquil couldn’t even get its flames going.

but Chikorita certainly won. is Inver making type match-ups go wonky again?

aw, the hole trap again Team Rocket? thats the oldest one in the book….

tech, if only Harden was THIS awesome in the game, I’d actually use it, but battles being so short that I just have no time, and need to get things owned quick, all focus on damage me.

and Pikachu takes out Metapod! as expected.

oh frack, a Scyther…..wait, this is actually a bad matchup. just Thunderbolt him Pikachu, Scyther is flying, weak to your attacks. I’ve taken out a lot of Scyther while leveling up my pokemon in Pokemon X, believe I know: just one powerful electric attack and they go down easy, and thats talking about level 50 just-before-Victory-Road monster Scythers. and Pikachu loses because….double team shenanigans, which if that was as awesome as it were in the anime, I’d use that to, but don’t because it isn’t.

but Ash wins anyway because he came up with something actually pretty clever: he matched the flame to the rotation of Scyther while coming at it from an angle where it wouldn’t be deflected.

Episode 29: Father of Coal and Flame.
Ilex Forest eh? sigh…..that reminds me of Celebi. wish I could’ve gotten Celebi while I had the chance. just I wish could’ve gotten Mew and so on. I’ll just have to wait for my day to get these mythical pokemon…just have to wait…

whoa, Brock just transformed into a noir hero out of nowhere! that explains so much. Brock thinks he is a street-tough private eye in a noir mystery novel surrounded by hot ladies.

and Team Rocket comes in to….follow Team Ash to steal their food. kay. sigh, someone else is going to say they should just ask for the food, aren’t they?

and yeah, I sympathize with Sylvester on the father thing. having a strict father like that sucks, I don’t feel like I can talk to him about anything.

Team Rocket, isn’t taking food from that shrine somewhat disrespectful to that spirit of the forest or something? man, Celebi is going to be ticked….

oh hey Onix gets to be awesome again! yay!

yeah, but it will take a while to transport all those logs back to your father…..better hope your strong, because strict fathers like that don’t like it when you have weak arms.

and so they leave….unfortunately a week later, Celebi comes in and does bad forest juju on Sylvester and his father for not leaving any food offerings for her like any capricious spirit and soon the charcoal business plummets from their deaths.

[ThePhantom]

Well, double-team is a very good move. Evade is one of the best stats. Doesn't matter how strong your opponent is if they can't hit you. As for the pit-trap, its Team Rocket's bread and butter, which is why they don't get much food. Can't eat a hole in the ground.

[Lord Raziere]

Well, double-team is a very good move. Evade is one of the best stats. Doesn't matter how strong your opponent is if they can't hit you. As for the pit-trap, its Team Rocket's bread and butter, which is why they don't get much food. Can't eat a hole in the ground.

It is? maybe when stacked, but I've defeated lots of pokemon that used it, still hit, the few times that it was really got going, it just annoying more than anything else, but if you say so, I'll be sure to teach more of my pokemon moves like Aerial Ace or Magical Leaf. those attacks are incapable of missing. quite a few of them already do know them anyways.

Episode 30: Trade Ya.
oh no, a Wobbuffet. this was always a strange pokemon. its the duck-billed platypus of pokemon: it only knows counter-attack and defensive moves, and it looks like some blue mound thing much like that Bloo guy from Fosters Home For Imaginary Friends except with this black tail….and its just WEIRD.

and Ash wins the tauros thing. cool, Tauros gets another chance to be awesome.

I seem to remember Team Rocket getting a Wobbuffet….so will the guy somehow swap with Jessie somehow?

and yeah,thats actually a pretty good scam, Pokeballs seem to be weightless and no one would suspect it….unless they decide to send out their traded pokemon right then and there….hm, thats a big gaping flaw….

oh come on Misty, you had the perfect chance to get rid of this headache of a pokemon, now your suddenly clingy to it?

oh no, JAMES DON’T FALL FOR THE MAGIKARP SCAM AGAIN! I’m pretty sure this is the same guy who scammed you on the S.S. Anne!

and good, James doesn’t fall for it and actually recognizes him! go get him James!

and so the Wobbuffet is traded. it might actually be tougher than Lickitung….Ash uses all force, when its probably best to use something like a Sleep effect to keep Wobbuffet from acting THEN attack it.

[ThePhantom]

I believe that Wobbuffet is based on a comedian, that's why its a bit odd. And yes, its more powerful than Lickitung, its just Jessie isn't very good at getting the timing right to use its defensive powers.

[Lord Raziere]

....a comedian eh. oh well.

moving on.

Episode 31: Going Of The Kaminuirtle
so Tauros is sent back, leaving one of Ash’s poke-slots open for now. Ash’s current party is kind of imbalanced in my opinion: there is no reason for him to have both Chikorita AND Bulbasaur, so I’m still waiting for the other shoe to drop for Bulbasaur.

and Nurse Joy quickly comes up with an excuse to not respond to Brock’s advances. good call.

Aiden is back! and his wartortle squad.

and so is the old Squirtle Squad! finally, someone from Kanto has returned! the circle is beginning to loop more….

oh god, Ash…..your team is not going to do well, I just know it….I was right.

this is however, a Squirtle Squad episode, so they succeed.

and boom! Team Rocket is here! lets see what interfering nonsense they have in store for us this time

y’know, I’m starting to wonder what exactly those nets are made of if they can capture pokemon so easily….are they made out of the same materials as pokeballs?

and there goes one of the longest running starters of Ash’s roster, probably to make way for Totototototototototototototototototodile. kay, but….I’m still waiting for Bulbasaur to go, who of course had a reluctant handshake with Squirtle upon the farewell, I get the feeling that they never got along well but that they knew each other long enough to care for one another like their farewell consists of:

Squirtle: come on man, we’ve been through stuff together the most, don’t leave me hanging!
*extends vines*
Bulbasaur: just go you stupid turtle….

Episode 32: Hopefully The Last Wooper/Quagsire Episode. Ever.
eh, Wooper, not much better than Quagsire. I don’t like either of them. too ugly to be cute in my opinion.

uh, Jessie…..I’m pretty sure that red with spots is a poisonous mushroom…..just saying….so……you might want to put that down….

wow, Togepi somehow gets the cooper under control. but being led around by another child is just a recipe for disaster…

yeah, this is why I don’t like children Misty. they’re cute until you actually to care for them, then they become monsters that you have to constantly keep on just to keep under control.

I agree with you two, the Wooper is not so nice and charming once you see that its basically a stupid pokemon that doesn’t care whether you live or die.

“I can’t look into its eyes and stay mad at the Wooper.”-Jessie
I could look into the sweet little face, torture it mercilessly, see it all its hopes and dreams broken, and only laugh at its pain.

bah, I say let Team rocket have the Devil-Wooper. it deserves whatever it gets.

now your all cheering for the Devil-Wooper? its mind-wiping powers are spreading.

and so we depart. and good riddance to both Wooper and Quagsire. the former are idiots that don’t care about others and the latter are thieves that are even stupider.

Episode 33: What The Hell, Snubbull?/Goddammit Jigglypuff
Ash you have Bulbasaur and Chikorita, you will be fine against Rock types- isn’t that, right Brock?

oh no, both Jigglypuff AND Snubbull. will we finally have a Clash of the Running Gags?

….really, rock types are just randomly strong against grass types in this episode? what the hell, Inver?

TROLOLOLOLOL, JIGGLYPUFF SONG TIME! ROCK-A-BYE-TRAINER MAY YOU SLEEP-FIGHT, CATCH ALL THE POKEMON ONLY IN YOUR DREAMS, AND NEVER GET YOUR TOURNAMENTS RIGHT…..

and so the Snubbull steals Jigglypuff’s microphone/marker. oh it is ON now…

um, Jessie, aren’t you just doing the same thing as the Snubbull’s previous owner did: cuddle it too much? that will probably only end in tears.

and Snubbull somehow replaces Meowth as a Team Rocket member. wow, its causing a lot of chaos today, isn’t it?

and Jigglypuff and Meowth confide in each other their problems and try to join forces. this is actually pretty cute and heartwarming to me.

Meowth, you just got replaced by a Wobbuffet. ditch Jessie and James and never look back.

and so we end with Jigglypuff sleep-songing everything once again. well this was much ado about nothing.

[ThePhantom]

I like Ash's tototodile. I find its quirk amusing. Now, I don't really remember the Wooper episode, only thing I can think of is Brook being sad playing a tambourine for a bunch of woopers in a tub. And I don't remember the episode of snubbull and jigglypuff at all. I did say my watching of this season was less then the first season.

[AGD]

I could look into the sweet little face, torture it mercilessly, see it all its hopes and dreams broken, and only laugh at its pain.

Wow, this is the second Time, where you are scaring me. The first Time was in your One Piece-Blog about Aces Death.


Ehahahahahahahahahahaha! Feel the pain, Luffy. FEEL THE PAIN!

[Lord Raziere]

Wow, this is the second Time, where you are scaring me. The first Time was in your One Piece-Blog about Aces Death.

I'm sorry, I just ....really dislike happy go lucky annoying things that get away with whatever jerkish things they do without punishment just because they're cute or something. charisma shouldn't mean that your above the law or the rules or whatever, because if we let such people get away with things just because they give a good speech or have a great smile, thats just falling for a deception that will only encourage such behavior in society and thus create an elite in society that will be able to get away with things because they are just soooooo cool or whatever. many monstrous dictators were charismatic after all. thats why you be wary of charismatic people and focus on what they do, and not whether they are good looking or whatever.

Episode 34: YOU THIEVING DOGS!
This opening is a lie, because misty would ever let a Ledyba carry Togepi and they never get a Hoothoot.

and look, Team Rocket only stole the ham from nurse Joy that time, they’re progressing.

so its a Houndour pack that stole all that. and whoa, they’re tough, only Misty has any good pokemon against them because Houndour are half fire type, its actually a good thing Psyduck wasn’t used- it only seems to know Psychic attacks and Dark types are outright immune to Psychic.

….wouldn’t the pack just abandon the sick Houndour to die alone if they were actual wolves in real life? thank the gods that pokemon have human levels of intelligence and empathy.

and Team Rocket loses to the Houndour pack. of course.

and of course, Ash ears their trust and they go their separate ways again. good, we don’t want Ash getting a Squirtle-squad repeat in the form of a Houndour…

Episode 35: Tototototototototototototototototototototototototo tototototo…….
oh, here is the Totodile episode! right on time to replace Squirtle.

and Misty is suddenly babbling on about water pokemon while fishing, then Totodile suddenly leaps out. kay.

and now they’re fighting over Totodile

oh hey, nice to see Team Rocket finally getting something to eat, a lot of their episodes have been focusing on how hungry they are.

and so they both use the water ball….and they can’t tell which is theirs. of course. so Brock decides to be the mature one make sure this Totodile is gotten fairly. (HINT HINT ASH WILL WIN)

oh god, your using Togepi to battle Pikachu!? that is either the worst idea ever or the best one, I’m not sure. but I’m pretty sure its a stupid one either way.

its a pokemon like anyone else Pikachu, just shock Togepi, it needs to learn some pain in order to battle anyways.

and thats why you will always lose, Misty because type match ups will always smack you down no matter how hard you train.

Bulbasaur Vs. Poliwag! FIGHT!

and Team Rocket actually does the smart thing for once and let them battle it out first. good thinking Meowth.

oh WHAT, that is bull****, why is Poliwag evolving? pokemon only evolve when they’re victorious not as some come from behind victory because they’re losing! AGH! this is just a deus ex machina.

and Ash wins anyway. as it should be. he played it smart, he used only pokemon that had a type advantage, he deserves to win this one.

hopefully this Totodile will be staying. no ties to a Squirtle squad. no concerns about getting stronger like Charizard….really, Cyndaquil, Chikorita and Totodile are all caught more fairly than the first starters and thus have more reason to stick around.

Episode 36: Cynda-QUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUIIIIIIIIIII-
and so they go in search of a trainer near a bridge to fight because apparently said trainer owns very well. hm.

and she sends out…..a Skarmory. careful Brock, Steel has a lot of defenses, and that Growlithe must’ve lost for a reason…

“hey! up there!”- Ash
its a Pidgey!
its a Fearow!
No its…..THE BIRD OF STEEL, SKARMORY!
*Superman theme plays*

and Vulpix goes down!

and then Cyndaquil is up! but both of them get caught by Team Rocket before they can finish…

aw frack, Ash your doing this stupid “lets try and do another persons training!” thing again. you have a method, it works already, you just got to refine it. stick to what your good at and find ways to make it work for you in any situation.

and Cyndaquil becomes badass this episode! I think Ash actually needed a pokemon like Cyndaquil, because Ash’s Cyndaquil is kind of a fixer-upper pokemon: it started out having a great defense, but it needed serious work on its offense, so it taught Ash to be more serious about training his pokemon and making them better battlers. with the Kanto starters you could already tell that they were competent and well-rounded.

thing is though, if Charizard is Ash learning to overcome his more wild and raw urges to be more disciplined, Cyndaquil is Ash learning to not just battle with his pokemon but find ways to improve them, to make them more than they are and to encourage them to reach greater heights. This is not just an improvement of Cyndaquil as a pokemon, but Ash as a trainer.


I like the last of these episodes the best. Ash for once actually takes a good step forward in becoming a better trainer.

[ThePhantom]

Ah, Totodile. Keep dancing you silly thing. If there was contests or musicals in the jonto region you know it would be all over those.

These episodes were good ones, shame I can't fully remember them anymore.

[AGD]

I'm sorry, I just ....really dislike happy go lucky annoying things that get away with whatever jerkish things they do without punishment just because they're cute or something. charisma shouldn't mean that your above the law or the rules or whatever, because if we let such people get away with things just because they give a good speech or have a great smile, thats just falling for a deception that will only encourage such behavior in society and thus create an elite in society that will be able to get away with things because they are just soooooo cool or whatever. many monstrous dictators were charismatic after all. thats why you be wary of charismatic people and focus on what they do, and not whether they are good looking or whatever.

You don't have to feel sorry. I didn't mean that as critic of your behavior. It was meant more jokingly.

[Lord Raziere]

oh. nevermind then.

Episode 37:……..Dile?
huh, another Totodile episode, so soon? and yeah, its a real shame that it probably doesn’t stick around for Hoenn, it would be a STAR on the contest scene…

and Totodile falls in love with an Azumarill. sigh. I can already tell its going to be a handful…

“my name’s Trixie”
Brock has fallen in love with Trixie. great, now his constant compliments and attraction will inflate her ego even more and will just go out of control with Brock never contradicting her and always trying to court her no matter what and….oh my god, Brock and Trixie are perfect for each other. Trixie’s ego and Brock’s….Brockness go to together like nothing else! wait…..wrong Trixie.

and Azumarill is in love with Golduck, while Totodile is in love with Azumarill, agh, ye gods of love, why do you hate simplicity and requital?

wow Ash, you fell for
“hey would you like to try an electric attack?”
I mean really, by now you should know by now that Team Rocket puts in an anti-Pikachu measure in pretty much all their plans to make sure that someone else must save the day. do I what I do when I have to fight a pokemon rival in the games: use ANYTHING but your starter pokemon. because your rival is designed to defeat that.

and now, Totodile, run towards Azumarill to claim your rightful love at last, to consummate your eternal partnership in the bonds of matrimony and amorous desire, so that know happiness forever and ev-
WRONG.
Azumarill likes Golduck! better luck next time.

and Totodile goes poke-Brock for a freaking QUAGSIRE next -_- goddammit Totodile.

Episode 38: Ash's 1/8192th Chance
SHINY NOCTOWL! CATCH IT CATCH IT CATCH IT CATCH IT CATCH IT…..

and we have three factions vying for a shiny Noctowl: Ash, Wiseman, and Team Rocket. Wiseman is little better than Team Rocket because of his trap, so its obvious that Ash will get it.

wow, Wiseman. so intelligent yet so easily outwitted. you figured out how to finally win, and you still lose. wow.

and now its Team Rocket’s time to try and fail miserably. but of course, they break the fourth wall first.

uh Wiseman? aren't being a big freaking hypocrite by deriding Team Rocket's invention? you made an invention to capture shiny Noctowl as well, you can't point fingers.

whoa, they're using actual science to beat Team Rocket! using expanding and contracting metal no less...

you caught a Noctowl! a SHINY one no less! you better not release this one, Ketchum. a shiny pokemon doesn't appear everyday. you release that, you will probably NEVER have something like it ever again. I know I will probably never give up my shiny Spinda.... shiny pokemon are rare treasures

as for Ash's party: remember Heracross is still at Oaks. Ash will probably exchange Heracross back for Bulbasaur. but I like how this episode is pretty much about showing how there seems to be a certain way to catch pokemon while still respecting them- like, "catching" seems to be more of a term of earning the pokemon's respect enough to join you rather than anything more nefarious while trying to capture it in other ways isn't respecting the pokemon's abilities I guess?

Episode 39: Amorous Pokebear Landmines
ok, the last episode before I watch the 3rd movie. finally. why is it a pun on "Forrest Gump" though? is it some sort of attempt at a reference?

oh goddammit Team Rocket, will you ever stop? attacking them while they're relaxing will just lead to them being hyper-paranoid about you. I'm kind of surprised that Team Ash ISN'T completely paranoid about by now, they should be constantly seeing Team Rocket around every corner and haunted by your attempts at every moment by now, and if they were....they would not be wrong...

well that was quick, and oh thanks Ursaring!

oh no wait, not good, they're constantly hyper-beaming Ursaring that hate everyone that wakes them. pokebear landmines. the two groups, lets call them Ashessie and Rokisty, must work together to be reunited and get out of the forest.

Ashessie has Ash and Brock worried for Misty while while no one is worried about Jessie in Rokisty because apparently they think Jessie is tough as nails or something. real contrast there.

and wow,both sides of Team Rocket tihnk to steal Team Ash's pokemon but both are prevented by outside factors.

and then they all get through the rickety bridge...cheer.....and go right back to battling one another again.

oh, Ursaring mating season on Ursaring mating grounds. I can see why you don't want to disturb a couple of Ursaring during their...."rest" if you know what I mean....

and I like this episode we get even more Jessie backstory and info about Team Rocket in general, with Jessie having a rare moment of introspection about what she is doing with her life and how hardscrabble Team Rocket's existence is- and how Jessie once had a lot of dreams but never got to live up to them...

but yeah now that I've gotten to this episode, I will soon be watching the third movie of Pokemon! where we will probably be discussing two pokemon in particular...hint hint: neither of them are Entei.

[Landis963]

and Azumarill is in love with Golduck, while Totodile is in love with Azumarill, agh, ye gods of love, why do you hate simplicity and requital?


Because then there would be no conflict, and by extension no plot. It sucks, but it's true.

EDIT: As for the Noctowl catching thing: the difference between a poacher's trap and a trainer's pokeball is very murky once you get past the finer details, far as I can tell. But pokemon at the very least consider the trainer's order before acting, while they have every reason to work against any poacher, so there's at least an element of consent to the pokeball. (This really becomes obvious once you look at the so-called "Olympus Mons:" Zapdos has no reason to get into my pokeball if he didn't on some level admire the effort put into catching his sparkling avian a**)

[ThePhantom]

A fun Totodile, the introduction to Noctowl and first run in with the Ursaring. A nice set of episodes, and then one of my favorites of the pokemon movies, I can't wait!

[Lord Raziere]

Pokemon 3: The Movie

Its that special time again! Time to watch….a pokemon movie! This is the third movie of the pokemon franchise and it marks a turning point in how they go. Namely, its smaller scaled. The first two movies are literal world-shaking events that could’ve ended everything. Mewtwo just might have his storm to wipe out all none-clone life in a Great Flood thing, the imbalance in Pokemon 2000 would’ve destroyed all of civilization for sure in a form of super-global warming. These are world-shaking events that if Ash failed, there would be no world left.

Here however its more local. Its just one mansion and the surrounding country side turning to crystal. sure its possible that it might spread beyond it, but I’m not quite sure if that is ever confirmed in the movie or not, I’ll have to watch it, but its possible, but I’m going to assume its a more local scale. However this movie receives a certain amount of criticism for its portrayal of Unown, which we will get into. Unown are well….they’re a great concept, but as a pokemon in general, they could have been better executed, and I’ll say more when we actually get into it. The problem with the Unown however, I don’t think is a problem with the movie, its just that well…its how the games handled Unown after it thats kind of bad. So sit back and we will get into the third move of Pokemon! lets hope the third times the charm!

But first lets watch Pikachu get chased across a city by a Houndour for no reason.

Pikachu and Pichu:
and so we open on a big city! whats with those flags? one is blue with white stripes and stars, the other is red and white, with one of its red stripes having two green lines between it. weird country flags.

and of course Pikachu sees two Pichu running in the distance. we’ll meet them later.

“Thats a Pichu. they’re known for their playfulness. if thats what you want to call it.”
yea um, Narrator, leave the explaining of Pichu to me. ahem. Pichu are cute. unfortunately, the Pichu’s cuteness is both the best thing about them and the worst thing about them, mostly because cuteness seems to be the only reason for them to exist. due to being a baby form, they have the lowest stats of their line and therefore not used much. compounding this is that they are basically a younger Pikachu, so they’re basically competing with the greatest electric rodent this franchise has, one which they evolve into and is stronger than them. furthermore, Pikachu came first, so it has nostalgia and that classic feeling on its side. other electric rodents that come after it,t hey all have something that sets them apart that make them worth using, but Pichu? its basically pointless. not only that, but the only real you’d want one is fill out your ‘Dex so that you can then evolve said Pichu into Raichu, so that the Pikachu you probably bred it from will be kept an awesome Pikachu. so Pichu is basically living in both Pikachu AND Raichu’s shadow, and was probably only made to sell more plushes or something. don’t get me wrong, I don’t dislike Pichu, not at all. I just feel sad that Pichu has these flaws. its cute, and I like for that, but unfortunately thats all that can be liked about it. sorry Pichu, but you have no other point. I wish it were otherwise, but thats the truth…

“Pichu’s bro doesn’t want him to get hurt, he’s the SMART brother” slightly more spiked fur on head causes intelligence boost in Pokemon, GOT IT!

oh and Pikachu stupidly finds himself on a pole, and then a few Murkrow decide to be ***** for no reason and attack Pikachu. which ends up making him fall. THANKS A LOT, MURKROW. oh and Hoppip are here for no reason. Pikachu saves himself by playing hoppip lilypad.

Pikachu, this is why you don’t trust children to solve your problems, they only end up making things worse while thinking they’re having fun.

and so we land on the Houndour, who gets angry and starts chasing them…we’re really bouncing from one problem to another here.

oh yeah, Pichu can’t use electric attacks without shocking themselves, making them even more pointless.

and then we have this weird music scene of Pikachu and the Pichu’s having fun with random pokemon in this tire-base thing in the middle of alley ways that apparently has a bunch of clockwork inside of it. weird.

its getting late, and Houndour is back! better get going Pikachu, use some of that speed you used when running with Raichu!

oh and their continued chase ends up destroying the tire base thing, well early, and now for the stock working together moment where everyone keeps it from falling or whatever.

yeah, thats great, but what about the clockwork mechanisms inside of the tire-base? were they just some surreal zone of non-reality that came and went? Johto Weirdness? what?

wait, fi they are inside the tire, how do they know where they are going? the tire blocks their vision and its not as if they can lean out to look, that would probably affect the tires balance and make it fall over, so how are they navigating?

but Pikachu makes it back in time to celebrate the first day he and Ash became friends! and that is pretty heartwarming, and makes this whole short worth it by itself. but those poor poor Pichu….always doomed to be pointless…at least they share they day they met Pikachu with a loser like Ash! now on to the main event….

Spell of the Unown:
and so we open with the father reading his child a book, or showing her a bunch of pictures in a book, the first is of the Unown. unfortunately, isn’t actually a legendary, but thats only one problem of many with them that I will talk about soon.

‘then I AM Entei! raaaaawwwr!”-nice lamp shading on the voice acting.I bet you anything that the guy who voices the father is also the guy who voices the “Entei” here because of this.

and of course, she is disappointed that he has to go back to work to investigate the Unown some more.

and pictures of a mother that isn’t there….there is a story behind that.

“well if anyone can figure out what this says its you.”- eh, Unown aren’t all that hard to figure out, they’re basically just the english alphabet with eyes.

and whoa a P-Unown just appears and disappears like that!

and then he picks up more and suddenly is teleported into the Unown dimension! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH………….

and so the child accidentally summons a horde of Unown to her mansion in the wake of her father’s disappearance….and suddenly the Unown start bending reality already and turning everything to crystal.

whats really confusing is why the Unown just didn’t give her father back whens he said for him to come back, and instead created this false Entei out of lies, dreams and fairy wishes. I’m guessing that they’re acting out more of her unconscious desire than simple upper brain thoughts.

“Papa? if that is what you wish.”- hm, that sends chills down my spine for some reason.

preludes over, time to talk about Unown before we go any further: Unown are conceptually? a great pokemon. a bunch of ancient pokemon that look like letters and have reality warping powers that are actually more like illusions? yeah, why not, cool! its just that well…..its ultimately botched in execution, at least in the games. in the game, Unown are nothing but a weak pokemon that knows only one move: hidden power. its not even a good move, dealing only 60 damage with a seemingly random type. it doesn’t even have any ability to become more powerful by attacking with other Unown in say double battles. the Unown in the games does not live up to the movie’s hype. worse yet, its annoying to catch all 28 of them because of their alphabet nature, so not only are they weak, they are a waste of 27 box slots of a pokemon thats already little more than Dex fodder. and thing is, the Unown could’ve been better. MUCH better! it could’ve had a bunch of psychic type moves, could have been a three stage evolutionary pokemon, from letter to word to sentence or something, or perhaps evolving from one letter to a ring of Unown called say, an Unsolved, than multiple rings of Unown called maybe, an Unread or something, complete with giant eye in the middle! totally doable! they can make Vivillion’s with tons of patterns and Spinda with tons of different markings, I’m pretty sure they could’ve somehow make a bunch of word and sentence Unown evolved forms! or if you really wanted to sell us on the legendary pokemon thing, you could have made the entire swarm of Unown one pokemon! I mean you already have Exeggcute, they’re just six eggs! or Magneton, they’re three Magnemites stuck together! a totally plausible thing in pokemon! you would’ve had a unique, interesting legendary pokemon, you’d have an Unown that would’ve lived up to the hype! what do we get instead? a chore to catch the same useless pokemon 28 times. just…..wasted potential. why? I don’t know. The Unown could’ve been better and they aren’t! I hope they get an upgrade but since they reappeared in Gen 4 in Sinnoh just as useless as ever, I somehow doubt it. but seriously, if I were in charge of pokemon, they first thing I’d try to do is fix Unown! could’ve been way better. just….so much better…

for the movie however, they serve their purpose well.

and now we get the stock opening music of the movie…wait, Ash actually losing during the music? weird.

this is why I partially dislike Quagsire: they are immune to electric attacks.

and they come to Greenfield to see…..its getting crystallized….

so, Prof Hale is a friend of Oak and Ms. Ketchum eh? and so Oak and Ms. Ketchum go to Greenfield, worried for Molly…

hm, odd, the crystal affects plants and solids, but passes over water. guess they know enough to let Molly have things to drink….

and odd, Entei’s steps spread the crystal. must be the Unown magic- he is just another creation, so he spreads it to. and he kidnaps Ash’s mom. oh and Ash blames himself for not saving her, so he now has reason to get very involved with the situation.

“can well all stay here forever?”
“if that is what you wish.”
chilling feeling again. they’re not really parents just toys that obey her.

oh and Charizard sees Ash in trouble over the news, so he starts flying to get to him and to help. cool.

hm the Unown seem to react to Molly’s desires and emotions…as if they’re connected somehow.

ah, Team Rocket, always ending up in these situations. “about 3 seconds if we jump” ain’t that the truth?

and Delia (Ash’s Mom) gets shocked out of her hypnosis by seeing her son in danger of falling. good.

I like how they got passed the regenerating crystal-ness.

hm, perhaps the Unown’s powers work in stages? first it lays things over with superficial, aesthetic changes, but then starts to work deeper changes to reality as they go?

and now she is imagining up a different version of herself that is old enough to use pokemon. whoa, she is already trying to be a self-insert Mary Sue! this kid IS growing up fast!

huh, Brock isn’t fooled by adult-Molly’s looks for one second, guess he has his head on straighter than we thought…

and so she conjures up a Flaffy to battle Zubat….

then a Teddiursa for Vulpix….

then a Phanphy for Onix, winning all three. all her pokemon were selected because they were cute, and then she just made them super-powerful unconsciously.

since Misty and Brock don’t even get to battle normally, this is actually a good chance for them to battle at all, even if they lose. I mean hey, at least they get to buy time for Ash….

“do you think we’re gonna get a bigger part in the NEXT movie?”
….I’m not sure Meowth, the next movie is the Celebi one. I think Team Rocket helps out with some giant tree-Celebi thing or something? I don’t know.

Entei just seems to be repeating two lines constantly:
“If that is what you wish.”
and
“I am happy that you are happy.”
makes sense given that he is just a dream-fake Entei father thing.

and they try to persuade her to go and stop, but she is having none of it and things start getting worse…

after two failed attempts at beating Entei:
‘I AM NO ILLUSION!”-yes you are.

and Pikachu starts being badass and taking on Entei himself. without even being ordered. wow. then Pikachu and Ash start falling…..

….AND CHARIZARD MAKES THE SAVE JUST IN TIME!

“if anything ever happened to you, we’d be out of show business!”
Team Rocket officially is resorting to fourth wall justifications to keep existing and do what they do. kay.

and this is an awesome battle between Entei and Charizard, just epic in the scenery, and how everything plays out, and the music…probably one of the best battles in pokemon.

“whether it is right or wrong, I will do as as SHE WISHES!”- my daughter, right or wrong?

and even charizard, badass though he might be, eventually starts losing to a reality warper.

but Molly says stop and she finally decides to go back to reality. unfortunately, things then start going out of control….

The Unown apparently can’t control their reality warping anymore, and now things are going out of hand.

and Entei comes in to try and help! being all epic and such.

“I was born of your dreams, if you believe in me, THERE IS NOTHING I CANNOT DO!”- a power of belief/love thing that actually makes sense. who’d a thought?

and so the spell of the Unown is reversed and everything is back to normal, complete with Prof Hale coming back! yay.

and really, this is probably one of the better poke movies despite the individual pokemon problems. it has a great explicit message: that getting lost in dreams and fantasies while fun for a while, its better to face reality, no matter how hard it is, as its more rewarding in the long run. Entei admittedly stole the show here, he basically took up every scene he was in with his lines that while repeated, work very well with the movies theme.

oh and the credits show her father actually getting back and hugging her, Charizard leaving for Charicific valley, Molly getting a Teddiursa, and….a new mother showing up? is it the same mother and she was just gone….or did he decide to marry somebody new? what? we never got an explanation of what happened to Molly’s real mom! was she divorced, killed, what? oh well, she is happy, thats what counts.

and thats pokemon the third movie! no wonder its considered one of the better ones, despite the problems Pichu and Unown have. those problems are really the games fault for not living up to what this great movie makes them into. and I prefer the higher quality stuff y’know what I mean? really, the best part of this movie is Entei being such a ham that its EPIC, and he isn’t even a REAL ENTEI! he is just some thing made of dreams and wishes. literally. wait. that might actually means he is MORE powerful than the real Entei, if the logic holds. meaning this Entei is more badass than the real one! real Entei, your show just got stolen by a fake version of you! better find a way to prove you can be just as, or even more badass! I recommend fighting Arceus.

[ThePhantom]

Ah, the spell of the Unown, I really like this film. Now, the reason why I think the Unown aren't so great in the games is that there's only a few of them out at a time. As a later episode that has an unown in it shows, a single unown can't warp reality, but the continuum of them sure can. Seeing what's shown in the show and movies, as a group the unown are the most powerful entities. Arceus at full power could maybe match them, but when we see Arceus he's not at full power for most of the time.

The visuals are great, the story is compelling and there's not much issues with the plot and actions, so this is a good film indeed.

[Lord Raziere]

Ah, the spell of the Unown, I really like this film. Now, the reason why I think the Unown aren't so great in the games is that there's only a few of them out at a time. As a later episode that has an unown in it shows, a single unown can't warp reality, but the continuum of them sure can. Seeing what's shown in the show and movies, as a group the unown are the most powerful entities. Arceus at full power could maybe match them, but when we see Arceus he's not at full power for most of the time.


yes but thats the problem! they made into a pokemon that by its very nature is useless alone, then made it so that you can only use it alone! if they had just made the entire swarm a single pokemon in many bodies then made it legendary with a good psychic moveset, there would be no problem, no one expects the games to actually have reality warping Unown in them but you should at least respect their potential in battle by giving them something people can actually use to fight with! thats why I said its conceptually great, but its execution is horrible, you make group pokemon fight as a group like Exeggcute or Dugtrio or whatever, not make individual pokemon that can't evolve that only knows one move only mildly more useful than a Magikarp's tackle!

and they can totally do it. they can totally fix up and change the Unown, they put new types on old pokemon before like Magnemite becoming steel or lots of pokemon becoming Fairy, or give old pokemon new evolutions, so why won't they give Unown an actual moveset and a way to actually be useful in battle huh? or an evolution or just compress them all into one ring swarm-pokemon alphabet thing with high special attack and good psychic moves, no one will mind, I would love to catch that, make Unown that! actually make them legendary one of a kinds, actually make them a challenge to catch, all that jazz. the catching the entire alphabet thing is just a pointless gimmick that serves no purpose, get rid of it.

Unown could've been so much better, and they can make them good to catch and such, but they haven't because....I don't know really. they just won't for some reason, even though they could.

[Lord Raziere]

well, now thats done and I'm feeling rejuvenated enough, I'm going to finish up the last 2-3 episodes of Johto Journeys before taking another small break to finally watch Guardians of the Galaxy tomorrow before I start upon Johto League Champions, which I believe is the second season of Johto? but before that, does anyone have any requests of any short between-season pokemon viewings I should do? there is a lot of side shows and shorts, and it might help break up the constant deluge of Ash, Ash and more Ash while watching Ash.

Episode 40: You Got The Type Match Up The Wrong Way Around
“Beware of ghost pokemon. use psychic pokemon for your protection”…..protective like what, punching bags? this is the worst advice ever, get dark pokemon! unless the type match ups were different back in Gen II…

….and so they are relying on Psyduck for protection from a type that its psychics won’t be very effective against, in a forest filled with Ghost types. BEST PLAN EVER!

no, thats just the back end of a Girafarig, nothing to worry about, just don’t stick out your hand or it’ll bite like a Chain Chomp.

ASH! I JUST SAID NOT TO STICK YOUR HAND OUT OR IT’LL BITE! don’t you ever listen?

….still, that town should be deserted or something, because Psychics are actually weak against Ghosts…. I mean the entire reason we went through that trouble with Sabrina is because Ghost types are supposed to be strong against them so this is very inconsistent…

wow, Pikachu and Ash are imitating each other to the point where they both scratch their head in embarrassment the same way at the same time.

uh oh Future Sight. be very very careful Ash….no wait, be reckless, finish it quickly Ash, before the attack has time to hit!

heh, you really would have your hands full with an Abra wouldn’t you? or a Natu or a Ralts….

oh, Team Rocket is using a Gengar. hm. shouldn’t you be using Murkrow or Houndoom to be believable in your immunity? Dark types are literally immune to Psychic attacks

….uh, Team Rocket, shouldn’t the mirror stuff continue under the coat of presumably painted black metal, just to make sure they reflect in case they go for the eyes? also, Psychic attacks apparently are completely reflective and therefore are waves of light. hm.

uh Team Rocket, big flaw in your plan: can’t they just….walk around the big shield thing you have and…aim at you from the side? just saying.

um little psychic girl you can just y’know…..walk around it. it doesn’t seem very maneuverable….don’t need to keep attacking uselessly, just….exercise some common sense and attack from it the side….it only protects them in one direction….if your really a psychic type trainer, use the power of your mind and out smart them by not attacking them from the goddamn front!

and so she connects psychically with the Girafarig and the day is saved. I want to connect psychically…..with a Gardevoir…

Episode 41: Personally, I Make My Own Fortune.
oh great, fortune telling. we’ve already had real future sight in the last episode, this is just fakery!

….wait….this old man sounds familiar…..like…..Butch….OH GOD. BC-TEAM ROCKET IS BACK AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH………

“forget it, I don’t believe in that baloney!”- GOOD! nice to see you having your head on straight, Ash.

Ash is a Bellsprout? passive and easily swayed? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA HA……….No.

ok Brock as Onix, hardworking and detail oriented…..works.

I bet Misty will get something completely antithetical to her…..annnnd……drumroll……GYARADOS! actually pretty accurate, but Misty won’t accept the truth.

what the hell JJ-Rocket, why are you dressed like astronauts?

Jessie is…..an Eevee. WRONG! try again.

and James is……a Moltres. da hell.

and James keeps proving the book right with its predictions. THE HELL.

uh oh, James is starting to get delusions of grandeur….

and I was right, BC-Rocket are back again with another scam!

and suddenly James becomes badass by breaking bonds and smashing through doors. THE. HELL.

guess confidence is what James was missing all this time, he is actually lucky or whatever, the book just gave him the confidence to actually get up and do things well. its a pity that he will probably lose his confidence soon….

so yeah, the episode ends with James discovering what he really is, which is probably something lame. my guess is Magikarp, but that Misty and Brock are exactly the same, while Ash is actually a Charizard.

me? I don't need no book. I know what I am: a Ditto, and therefore I can be whatever I want to be. all of us are Dittos. and don't let anyone tell you any different.


and thats Johto Journeys! the Johto region continues in Johto League Champions.

[AGD]

The only Ghost-Pokemon in the second gen are the Gengar-Line and Misdreavus and since the Gengar-Line has Poison as second type, while Ghost isn't resistant against psychic, psychic-attacks are super effective against them. A Dark-Pokemon would still be smarter, since Psychic-Pokemon are still weak against Ghost-Attacks. But Girafarig is a really smart choice, sind Normal-Pokemon are immune against Ghost-Pokemon and Girafarig is psychic-normal.


and so she connects psychically with the Girafarig and the day is saved. I want to connect psychically…..with a Gardevoir…

I want to connet physically with a Gardevoir. Bowchikkawowwow... What, we already established, that Pokemon are just as sentient as humans and humanoid psychic Pokemon assuredly. A consensual Relationship should be possible, as long as I don't use Pokeballs.

[Solse]

me? I don't need no book. I know what I am: a Ditto, and therefore I can be whatever I want to be. all of us are Dittos. and don't let anyone tell you any different.
That ... was really good! May I use that one in the future?


and thats Johto Journeys! the Johto region continues in Johto League Champions.
Minor spoiler alert: the theme song for Johto League Champions is absolute crap. It's essentially a terrible rehash of the original, but lacking its everything.

[Lord Raziere]

That ... was really good! May I use that one in the future?


Minor spoiler alert: the theme song for Johto League Champions is absolute crap. It's essentially a terrible rehash of the original, but lacking its everything.

of course you can.

I'll be judge of that myself. saw Guardians of the Galaxy on Amazon Prime finally. real good movie! my favorite characters were Rocket and Groot of course. but Star Lord wasn't that bad either.

and what no preferences as to what we can view aside from Ash? I'd do Pokemon Chronicles but that doesn't chronologically take place until about Hoenn so thats a no-go. I could try to find the first pokemon mystery dungeon special. those are always a change of pace. if not I'll just take a break a little to get ready for JL-Champions, because its 51 episodes- 10 episodes LONGER than Journeys, and if I remember correctly, Master Quest is even longer than that, so I'll probably slow down a little at the beginning of each to keep myself from burning out.

[Solse]

I don't know if it's been suggested yet, but Pokemon Origins is basically an anime adaption of Red/Blue, and it's extremely faithful to the source. And it's *awesome*. You *have* to watch it.

[Lord Raziere]

I don't know if it's been suggested yet, but Pokemon Origins is basically an anime adaption of Red/Blue, and it's extremely faithful to the source. And it's *awesome*. You *have* to watch it.

....dude, I already have:



Pokemon Origins

Before there was Ash, there was a trainer called Red. Before Yellow, there was Red and Green. Before the anime, there was the video game. This, is the story of that trainer. Its only four episodes long so expect a lot of montages. From what I've heard, Red is some sort of super-badass of the pokemon world, so lets see how he matches up to Ash....

*snipped because its longer than a Gyarados*

didn't like it actually. in short: too rushed, Red isn't actually that good of a trainer, I prefer the pokemon doing the pokespeak thing, Red doesn't have much character in general, and it just seems to be a Pokemon anime designed to appeal to those who hate the pokemon anime.

I give it two things: 1. its certainly very good stylistically with its battles. and 2. Giovanni's redemption was well handled. thats pretty much all the good things I have to say about it. sorry.

[Solse]

....dude, I already have:



didn't like it actually. in short: too rushed, Red isn't actually that good of a trainer, I prefer the pokemon doing the pokespeak thing, Red doesn't have much character in general, and it just seems to be a Pokemon anime designed to appeal to those who hate the pokemon anime.

I give it two things: 1. its certainly very good stylistically with its battles. and 2. Giovanni's redemption was well handled. thats pretty much all the good things I have to say about it. sorry.

Whoops, didn't realize.

I *do* like Pokespeak over SCREECHGROWL.

The battles are one of the main appeals for me. I can understand if you don't like it, though.

[Lord Raziere]

oh well, time for Episode 1 of Johto League Champions then!


Johto League Champions

Episode 1: WELCOME TO GOLDENROD!!
eh. the opening is not good. but its not bad. its just meh. I wouldn’t be blazing it into my core of burning hate any time soon…I can live with it.

Ash choosing winning a Gym match over eating a burger!? whats gotten into him!?

hi Whitney, who I am sure is TOTALLY NOT THE GYM LEADER. Totally.

Pikachu: sorry Brock, but this one is going into MY harem!

wow, Whitney is worse than Ash when it comes to navigation….

and wow, Team Rocket ditches their new job faster than the speed of light to steal a Clefairy.

…who somehow got lost from Whitney….

wow, Team Rocket, most pathetic escape attempt ever, Pikachu is just walking alongside you.

and Whitney finally reveals that she is the Gym Leader. guess she is a bit absent-minded.

Nidorina goes down in one hit, Clefairy uses Metronome and….Splashes. how anti-climactic. so its all down to….

MILTANK. ah frack, this is going to be pokemon that takes out two pokemon before being defeated, isn’t it? and so Cyndaquil and Totodile goes down…

Ash, use Noctowl! it flies! can’t be hit by Rollout!

and Ash LOSES. argh! and he was so close this time! but yeah, I can relate: many people find it hard to beat Whitney….

[ThePhantom]

Rollout is a rock-type move, so its super-effective on Noctowl actually. And yes, Whitney's miltank is team wrecker, and its nice that they show that in the show.

[Landis963]

Rollout is a rock-type move, so its super-effective on Noctowl actually. And yes, Whitney's miltank is team wrecker, and its nice that they show that in the show.

Oh god Whitney's Miltank. Had so much darn trouble with the damn thing back in Gold version.

[Lord Raziere]

yeah, I think I might've had some problems with it to. thankfully Ash actually comes up with a good way to beat it:

Episode 2: Nothing Is Invincible
so an episode about going out to a Miltank farm. hm. I prefer chocolate milk.

“Whitney” “Milton”……Pokemon never lets up on its pun names doesn’t it?

wow, Team Rocket somehow hiked all the way back from Saffron City in Kanto to Goldenrod. impressive, considering how long it takes to normally get around.

wait they hiked all the way back from Saffron on foot in ONE DAY? wow, Team Rocket either your reality warpers or very very fast.

and yeah, nice attitude Ash. nothing is invincible. Miltank can be statted and therefore it can be beaten.

and so Ash ears his third badge! through a great strategy no less that worked twice and Whitney didn’t even notice how it could be used on her when watching Team Rocket get its ass kicked.

also, I think I’ve been forgetting to do this:

and so we face BUGSY, SECOND GYM LEADER OF THE JOHTO LEAGUE, WHITNEY, THIRD GYM LEADER OF THE JOHTO LEAGUE.

and a FAULKNER, FIRST GYM LEADER OF THE JOHTO LEAGUE. just to make sure if I’ve missed that too.

Episode 3: What the Hell, Jessie?
and so they are approached by a flamboyant fat radio talk show produce out of nowhere who looks like Steven Sphielbug if he was glamorous……ok, um, Pokemon have you been drinking again?

….why would you make a TV show about a radio show host? isn’t that kind of redundant?

“people used to say my face was perfect for radio”- they were calling you ugly, James.

hahahaha! a ventriloquist act is actually a pretty good job for Team Rocket.

hahahahahahah! Ash, your completely nervous, and Team Rocket, just resist it, you have so much going for you!

and oh god, now everyone has to perform for the radio….

uh-oh…Jessie is going off script….

now going WAAAAAAAAAAAY off script. Jessie what the hell, you had this good thing going for you, WHY ARE YOU SCREWING IT UP!?

and they deftly avoid showing anything hinting at Ash’s father by not even showing the King and Queen. hm.

Jessie. Why, Jessie why?

and this episode basically answers my first question with: YES YES I AM, I WILL GO HOME NOW.

and so we end the three tales of Goldenrod city. now onto other things....

[Lord Raziere]

No comment? huh, am I getting boring? don't blame you, this does get tedious after a while.

Episode 4: Oh No, Not Her Again.
bug pokemon catching contest…..I remember that in Gold…..never really got into it, y’know? just too much trouble back then.

oh no, not her again. not….whats-her-name….yellow jacket….KACEY. AAAAAAGH.

NO! PLEASE NO SONGS! YOU HAVE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO! LIKE CATCHING THAT BUG POKEMON YOU ANNOYING BRAT!

see? Team Ash is sweat dropping, your not a good singer, Kacey, stop it.

Kacey is a catch-stealer. of course. she hasn’t stopped being annoying, she just finds a new way to be annoying and expands on her previous annoyances.

and wow, Misty’s bug fear is starting to become a phobia, she wasn’t nearly this fearful in other episodes.

Kacey’s Chikorita is getting more and more tired…..I think she isn’t paying that much attention to her…oh hey a Scyther! Kacey, you totally should try to catch it, its not as if your Chikorita is already tired or anything and might get owned by a badass bug type because you going at this too recklessly, go ahead, try to catch it, see what happens.

and here is why you fail, why your so annoying ****ing annoying Kacey. your so focused on winning. when Pokemon? it may be a competition, but its also a journey. a long one. you have to take rests and stops along the way, smell the walking roses, dancing blossoms and pet the super-dogs and super-kitties along the way. you have all the time in the world, no need for rush.

and now its time for….ATTACK OF THE BEEDRILL! always a classic.

yay, Ash caught a Beedrill!…..too bad I never remember him using one. he is going to lose it quickly, isn’t he?

“don’t worry its just another lame Team Rocket trap”- Team Rocket, you’ve degraded down to “just another part of Ash’s daily routine”:
Get up.
eat breakfast
have a pokemon battle.
travel
travel
travel
lunch
meet beautiful girl we need to help because Brock said so.
foil Team Rocket
travel
travel
travel
dinner.
get teased by Misty for being a loser
deal with stupid ghost pokemon that haunt the local area
sleep

and Ash gives his Beedrill away. man you made a grave mistake, Beedrill can mega-evolve these days! if you kept it, you might’ve gotten a good mega-evolving pokemon on your side.

and of course he is “rewarded” with one of her stupid songs….

“don’t forget to root for the Electabuzz!”-SCREW YOU KACEY.

Episode 5: Slippery Sneaky Imitation Tree Rock
oh the bridge is out. wow. its not as if you can just….swim across, or if you really need them, just send out your water pokemon, I mean a narrow stream, whatever shall you do, its practically impossible to get across now. you might as well give up all hope.

so, its a Sudowudo episode eh? weirdest rock type pokemon ever. looks like a tree, is actually a rock, and is also the Johto’s Snorlax. never really was all that interested in it myself.

look, professor woman, just because a Sudowudo can use fire type attacks doesn’t mean its a different type. I mean, freaking GYARADOS can use THUNDERBOLT. the attack its probably most WEAK TO. heck, to defeat Roark I used an Onix that knew Rock Smash. pokemon may have types but that only determines a majority of their moveset: its perfectly possible for them to have some moves that normally aren’t within their type range, and plays a great part in type match ups. if you can surprise an opponent with a move that they don’t expect the pokemon to know it can hurt a lot.

oh I get it, Sudowudo can use Copycat, so when people throw fire types at thinking its a grass type, they find the Sudowudo throwing its fire attacks right back it, and to further compound the confusion, they hold various things they pick up to further the illusion that they’re Grass types or whatever. probably as a defense mechanism against water types.

Brock what the hell, your licking a fake tree rock person against its will. I’m pretty sure this some sort of crime like some form of assault, but I’m sure which.

oh Mimic. eh, basically the same move.

yea but your still ignoring how Sudowudo is unaffected by both electric and fire attacks, which means its a goddamn rock type, and its water avoidance behavior should be enough to clue you in that its a rock type.

oh you see sense, good. moving on then.

Episode 6: Blood Moon Kabutos, Eat Your Heart Out
Ruins of Alph? you mean the place that actually is just an Unown bonanza everywhere all the time? but we’ve already did the movie, lets not rehash it and the problems with that pokemon…

oh hey Prof Oak! how you doing?

so they’re examining some thing they dug up thats real mysterious. uh huh.

and Team Rocket is attempting to make money off of water. oh hey, thats actually half-legit! loads of companies do it all the time! but seriously, just drink tap water, in most cases its just as good or even better than bottled.

AHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Misty gets the ear-pull treatment from Brock! nice reversal for once!

they should probably keep the Omanyte out of reach of people yes, perhaps institute a law protecting them until they can repopulate Omanyte enough for them to be catchable, things like that….this sort of issue is very complex.

“this is the pre-evolved form of everyone’s favorite pokemon”- Pichu yes, but last time I checked, Charizard was actually everyone’s favorite pokemon. Pikachu came in 45th place.

“we came for water”….well….you got water, Team Rocket, they gave it to you. with free air time.

I can see they improved their “some environments shouldn’t be disturbed or known about” message from Orange Islands. much more plausible than weird curses and prophecies, berry-eating pink pokemon or a crystal onix.

[Lord Raziere]

Um guys. anyone there? hello? oh well.

Episode 7: To Catch That Pidgey.
Is that Fearow working for **** Dastardly?

so this guy came up with the idea for a Pigey messaging service eh? Guess he outsold the Hoppip Messaging service guy through competence.

y’know, if you evolved them, you could expand your business to package delivery to AND make them better able to defend themselves. just saying.

so the guy decides to let him carry on the business after all. ok then, years later, Malakee finds that this was a bad idea as now people just use computer-phones and a more extensive ferry system and he thus goes out of business, the end. do like Noctowl being awesome with its Hypnosis though, it has so many good applications.

Episode 8: Goddammit Brock.
and so Team Ash walks in on a therapy mansion place. weird.

so, a medical clinic that uses Pokemon to help treat people. huh. just don’t expect any poke surgeons any time soon. I mean….do you really want a Scyther surgeon?

what the hell Brock, your trying way too hard here, and she clearly isn’t interested…

Jessie, how have you not put Wobbufet’s pokeball in really obscure place where no could find it and run away like hell if the pokemon annoys you so much? or at least, released it into the wild? also I looked up the original joke of Wobbufet: “Thats the way it is” so every time Wobbufet pops up and says it name, picture it instead say “thats the way it is”

and Jessie keeps being a Leeroy Jenkins and thus being a beat up bag for everyone else to laugh at.

and Brock, SNAP OUT OF IT ALREADY, SHE WON’T RETURN YOUR AFFECTION.

Jessie um..your saying that out loud in earshot of both Brock and the doctor….might wanna whisper….

I think Pikachu here is saying “Not again!”

and Zubat evolves into Golbat!

and then Pikachu gives them a dark look that says “I’m REALLY getting tired of you guys stealing me”

and thus Brock is shot down again because Golbat is too strong. what else is new?

Episode 9: Pokemon Kung Fu Film
we open on an old man almost getting attacked by Tauros. uh oh….

and another old master takes interest in Ash’s skills. this isn’t going to be another “teach an arrogant student of mine a lesson” kind of job again is it?

oh, its a “that durn new teacher is focusing more on flashy stuff rather than the old ways” kind of job. eh. contest pokemon kick just as much ass as regular ones do, its just that they’re more showy about it…

and so have a complicated situation who gets to the Shihon- I think thats the proper spelling- of the dojo, but then a Dojo-Destroyer comes in and tries to take it out, while Team Rocket is watching. already there are about five sides to this conflict and we’re only seven minutes in.

….hypocrite Shihon did a lot of flashy martial arts poses as well as the Machoke and they both threw out their back. what the hell.

and so they leave the future of a Dojo in the hands of a dancer….eh, this episode is just y’know. meh. its mostly just seems to be a pastiche or tribute to kung fu films or something. they even had a Bruce Lee in it.

and yeah. I think the highlight of these three is Brock's Golbat. I remember that it will evolve into a Crobat sometime down the road. which makes sense: Brock takes very good care of his pokemon, and a Golbat can only evolve from having a high friendship.

[ThePhantom]

Sorry Raziere, I got a game I was waiting for a long time and got distracted.

Let's see, good strategy for Whintey, fairly understandable Sudowudo confusion, an interesting Pigey messaging service episode that I liked, and a number of episodes I didn't get to see. Well, not a bad line-up over all.

[Lord Raziere]

anyways, next three episodes:

Episode 10: Hot Spring Hijinx
Suddenly: A TROPICAL ENVIRONMENT! how far off course have Team Ash gone?

uh, Brock….Ash….your clothes are probably getting wet….

why do they have a Master ball beach ball? why woul someone make a beach ball like that? thats what I’m honestly confused about…

and THANKS Totodile, now we have no ball to bounce around….

wait wait wait…..Team Rocket has been chasing Team Ash for YEARS now? do they mean that in show or beyond the fourth wall? because if they mean that in the show, then at least two years have passed in the anime by now, which might be plausible if we assume that one episode = one week on average.

RANDOM SNORLAX!

and hm, I think Cyndaquil is saying to Chikorita to either not give up hope, or to go sniff this part maybe its a clue. I dunno.

wow Meowth. way to betray, you jerk.

Ash, just return them with your pokeballs….

so yeah. this is was just the three Johto starters having a fight and causing shenanigans to happen. kay.

Episode 11: Deja eVulution, Deja Contest Vu
oh wow, this guy is a douche. Misty you need to kick his ass on the double.

oh no, not another “pokemon can be badass without evolving!” lesson again!

yeah not that he mentions it….all of Misty’s pokemon are not evolved aside from Poliwhirl. oh and Starmie in Kanto, but she gave that back to her sisters so…symbolic of how Misty hasn’t fully grown yet either?

ah great, another poke-catching competition. kay, how will Misty proceed to lose her new Seaking?

Deja vu again, Jessie has made a Jessie lure just like Misty made a lure of herself. this episode is either calling back to a lot of things, or recycling a lot of things. I don’t know whether this is good or bad.

and Team Rocket is once again stealing food from a contest. Deja Vu. this episode just seems to be a storm of references to earlier episodes.

and as predicted, they get victory! but no word on what happened to the Seaking. but yeah, I’m actually surprised this kind of episode full of Deja Vu didn’t happen sooner, with the cyclical nature of this show.

Episode 12: Poor, Poor Brock.
oh hey, Brock finally got a girl who messaged back! Suzie, remember that breeder from Kanto whom Brock got Vulpix, yeah she is finally back after….about I don’t know, 80+ episodes? its been at least two seasons so…reasonable estimate.

Brock how’d you change into a tux so fast!? …..are you a superhero?

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA, I get it, ice cream man, very cool, very sweet.

an Brock is jealous that guy Zane and his Ninetales. man Brock….I think we know that she will just dump you like all the others anyways so….no trying to keep this one. your going to lose the girl even if you win the competition.

oh Brock. poor, poor Brock. she made a deal with Zane. sigh. at least you got your breeding Brock. at least you got your breeding. but they don’t even confirm whether or not Vulpix is gone now….


and so we get.....eh not that great of a first two episodes, and one episode that heralds the start of multiple Kanto characters returning, of course starting with Suzie....but no word on whether Brock actually gave Vulpix back or not...I think he did, it was just never shown....

[Lord Raziere]

this is getting low. gotta fix that.

Episode 13: Super Pokemon Lust Potion.
Ah. the Shuckle episode. interesting.

and yeah, Brock suddenly goes from “evil old troll!” to “mysterious shining wizard”. hm.

and yea, Shuckle are used for potion-making, and a Shiny Shuckle is very powerful and special for mixing stuff.

hm, old man, you should think about getting an apprentice for this sort of work. a real one, not three random travelers.

umm…..Spoopy, are you sure throwing Shuckle around like that is a good idea?

…..Eevee is and I quote “The most unique pokemon of all”? I’m not sure about that. I’m pretty sure I could come up with a few that are a little more unique than that…

and the purple Shuckle is found! and Team Rocket comes in as well.

you tell him Meowth! your “Thats right!” is classic. Wobbuffet is just trying to edge in on you.

and they all drink the juice….and Meowth as a result is in love with James. LOL.

and of course Brock turns down the juice to do things fair and square. there are no shortcuts for this kind of thing after all.

Episode 14: Less of A Loser, Less of A Jerk.
oh hey Gary! nice Umbreon you have! I see you’ve been raising that Eevee during the night.

and a nice demonstration of Dark types being immune to Psychic!

Gary, just use Feint Attack, it never misses.

but why is does this kid sound like a high-pitched British person? his appearance doesn’t match his voice at all, like, I’d probably get somebody deeper voiced for a pirate bandana wearing dude.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Gary just walks away from Ash while he is boasting about he can beat Gary with any pokemon he has. Gary Mother****ing Oak has no time to deal with a loser like Ash.

hm, I think James’s voice is slightly different in this episode. might be my imagination though.

hm, another power plant plot? dude, the first time in Gringy City, it made for a great episode. the second time in the Orange Islands, it was a good twist to a high quality episode as well. but there is such a thing as overuse. will the third time hold to the trend of blackouts in pokemon equaling a good episode, or will this finally be breaking the trend?

guys, just aim at the power cable at the back, their weakness is that they need a freaking POWER PLANT to make sure this thing even works and therefore has a few weaknesses:
its limited in the area it can operate.
it can be defeated by cutting the juice.
its cable is very obvious.

and so Gary helps out and is a nice guy for once. guess he is not all bad. he is certainly starting to mellow out I think. the way he is so terse might indicate that he actually might not be that good at social stuff- maybe thats why he ditched the girls and car after a while, they were just his Sasuke-esque fan club that he never really connected to and were just a childish thing he indulged in back in Kanto, because both he and Ash were still starting out and Gary was at the height of his arrogance and ego tripping, and as he grows he starts to mature and become more friendly and humble, just like Ash starts to grow less reckless and stubborn and more disciplined and hard working.

so yeah, this actually is a good episode hits that pokemon “we may fight in competition but in the end we cooperate towards a greater good” lesson that its actually really good at. I think I needed this episode, cause the ones before it were getting….boring. stale. I think Gary really has grown- remember in Kanto when he didn’t even bother solving a problem and just LEFT? yeah, thats not this Gary.

Episode 15: Cruel And Unusual Geology
we’re in the mountains and oh a uuuh…..whatitsname….evolved from of Ledyba….Ledyan? I think? oh. Ledian

…..I’m starting to notice a pattern of sons inheriting father businesses in Johto. the charcoal guy…..the Pidgey guy…..and now the mountain protector guy. Did I miss any? there might be a fourth inheriting son….oh right that Mareep daughter. yeah, whats up with sons and daughters inheriting businesses in Johto? this is the modern era man! these days you go to school to begin your uncertain quest for the job your dreams of someday maybe doing if your really lucky probably after going through some jobs you hate. is Johto just really old fashioned or something? apprentices aren’t really things that much anymore.

…..Team Rocket why are you dressed like your cleaning a house. what the hell, at least go with hiker ware or something….like furs? sometihng more mountain-y?

oh hey, Jessie is finally having a “why do we always fail!?” rant, I was wondering when she would start cracking.

when I said cracking, I didn’t mean the rock….that is bull**** by the way, I mean really, they land on a rock sticking out of the side of the mountain and it just starts breaking apart? how brittle is it? was it made from something that was recently volcanic? I wish I could remember more from my geology college class now, I keep thinking “pumice” but the other parts of my brain think thats wrong but doesn’t know why.

and they land their rock…..balanced on another, narrow and tall rock….like a seesaw…..wow how improbable is that, I wish I could ask C-3PO for this kind of thing every time something like this happens in fiction, he’d know the odds of this happening. but I make a rough estimate of One in 57 Plotillion.

and another improbable thing happens to make an avalanche to cut Team Ash off. wow. geology really hates the main characters of this show today.

and so the local climate and weather apparently.

wow, Team Rocket, your going to doom yourselves with your petty arguing, aren’t you?

and Togepi saves you all and you think its a dream, what the hell. problem is, your still on the seesaw-rock. still not clear on how that works.

“we wouldn’t have saved you if you were teetering on the brink of obliteration”- LIES. the 3rd movie is currently looking straight in your direction and laughing, Meowth.

wow, an officer? huh, guess its a really informal position if a kid like him can achieve it like that, he still probably has a lot to learn though.

hm, guess Wobbuffet must weigh a lot. but yeah. Geology was really vengeful in this episode.


and I really like the episode with Gary the best, because it actually shows these two growing a little and starting to progress beyond a petty grudge against each other into a more healthy rivalry, showing that they are starting to respect each other even if they aren't the best of friends.

[ThePhantom]

Only saw shuckle episode of these ones. It was amusing at least. Seems like a number of these episodes were focused on silliness. Now, how far is it to Erurik city from Goldenrod again?

[Lord Raziere]

Only saw shuckle episode of these ones. It was amusing at least. Seems like a number of these episodes were focused on silliness. Now, how far is it to Erurik city from Goldenrod again?

in the games? like, I dunno, probably one route, maybe two if the developers were feeling slightly evil, but in all likelihood, only one.

in the anime, its like....at least eight more episodes. so. in total: about 21 episodes. the latest episode I've watched is Ash finally arriving in Ecroutique in episode 24. man I can't wait for Hoenn. if my memory is correct of what little I've seen of that, they actually show the map and where Ash and Co. is on their quest, so that we can at least see where they are at the beginning of each episode.

Episode 16: The Heroes of Wobba, the Team they call Rocket…
oh hey a bunch of Wobbuffets! they are…not really a threat actually. they know no attack moves so, being surrounded by them is mostly just a minor inconvenience. just walk around them and not attack, and they won’t be able to do a thing…

…..really? you feel happiness when you look at a Wobbuffet? when I look at one, I mostly just feel a vague quizzicalness of “why?” that usually accompanies my thoughts when I think about the duck-billed platypus, but hey whatever floats your boat.

and yeah, Team Rocket is definitely changing their tune about Wobbuffet now that it gets them food.

uh nope, Team Ash. wrong three people. Team Rocket doesn’t do pointless beat up cruelty. their goals are purely gain: get more food, get pokemon to get more favor with the boss, get more money, things like that, they are greedy, not cruel.

and we get to the real three villains of this episode: these bullies whom I will call the Anti-Wobbuffet Gangers until further notice or, the AWGs.

so Jenny forbids them from fighting…..so the AWG’s actually follow the law and not attack the Wobbuffet so they settle for wrecking the statue? the hell? dude, you got the strength, use it, you don’t seem to care about stupid tradition anyways, so why follow it? attack anyways.

SCREW TRADITION! tradition only leads to stupidity like this! go for pragmatism and progress instead!

yay! Team Rocket scews tradition and saves the day! Chaotic Good Act achieved! Raziere approves.

oh and then they steal the food. oh well.

Episode 17: The Return of Duplica.
oh hi Duplica! I see that your getting very good at your Nurse Joy disguise and that your Ditto just pulled off a great Chancey, how are you doing? haven’t seen you since Kanto! too bad Team Ash hasn’t realized its you yet, they are slow on the uptake when it comes to disguises, even when they’re bad so its no surprise they don’t recognize a disguise artist of your high caliber, unlike me who recognized you immediately, even throught that disguise.

and oh hey, Brock is the second person (I’m the first) to recognize that she isn’t a Joy! good eyes Brock, must be from the constant, any eternal squinting you do.

aaaand she reveals herself! thats right, this is what, the third returning Kanto person by now? aside from Gary? (the magikarp scam guy counts) Johto is really bringing back the oldies from Kanto and seeing how they progressed.

and she has a caught new Ditto! this time is transformation problem is size: it can only transform shape, and doesn’t seem to have the size part down. hm. this makes me wonder if the Ditto’s transformation thing isn’t an instinctive thing, but rather a skill they must develop. the Ditto’s that you see kicking ass and perfectly imitating things are probably the best Dittos in the world who have honed their transformation to their utmost best. while more common Dittos are probably still working out kinks like this.

Team Rocket, your trying to duplicate Ash and Duplica. Why.

wow, Team Rocket actually used guile to get a pokemon this time isntead of just force. Their big usual motto routine was just a diversion for Meowth to come in and take Minidit, and they didn’t even mix up Minidit with Totodile! they’re learning.

an wow thats a pretty clever plan Meowth. just keep doing this trading scam and you’ll have all the rare pokemon you could possibly want. only problem is getting Minidit to hold the form long enough, outside of seeing the pokemon…

and whoa, they actually use Wobbuffet to counter Pikachu’s thunderbolt! careful Ash, they’re learning. and with Wobbuffet your strongest pokemon could become your greatest downfall…

and so Duplica demonstrates that she is a better Wobbuffet trainer than an actual Wobbuffet trainer. kay.

Episode 18: Goddammit Snubbull
and so the Snubbull returns. Team Rocket is nearby…

and Muchmoney’s Butler has been following it the whole time. poor guy. he has to work for Muchmoney.

an Muchmoney is smothering as ever, while Snubbull is still obsessed with Meowth’s tail for some reason. Why.

oh hey, Team Rocket actually is doing something right for once! they give Snubbull back for a big reward, everyone wins. wonder how this will get screwed up.

it evolves into a Granbull. just when you think Team Rocket had it made….

Team Rocket, you should’ve said you wanted money outright. sigh…..poor Team Rocket…..poor Team Rocket.

Team Ash your being stupid. uuuuuugh. this is going to be ugly…

AAAAAGH! all this happened because Granbull is too stupid to stop biting a ****ing tail! AGH! THIS EPISODE IS BECOMING PAINFUL TO WATCH!

I don’t care about Muchmoney and her stupid Granbull. Team Rocket tried to do the right thing for once, is it really all that evil to expect at least some reward in return!?
all because of a stupid Snubbull that had to screw things up! WHY! This episode is actually probably some of the worst of Pokemon’s status quo enforcement, twisting everything so that even when Team Rocket practically had it in the bag, they still fail! All to perpetuate this into forever repeating over and over again! Just…..ARGH!

so yeah. liked the first two episodes actually, but not the last. it just....was so much flimsy twists and wrong assumptions that it felt......wrong to me. and the Snubbull running gag just never had that much impact now that I think about it. I think they recognized it was just never going to compete with Jigglypuff's running gag memorability and decided to nix it early.

[ThePhantom]

Huh, I thought the snubball joke lasted longer. Oh well. And two episodes that have wobbuffets in staring role, that's a nice thing on occasion.

[Lord Raziere]

I'll repeat it again: when I think of Wobbuffet I just think: "Why" I really consider it the duck-billed platypus of pokemon. something about it is just completely inexplicable. maybe its the fact that its based on a comedian, or that it doesn't map any species of animal or have any similarities to other pokemon. its just...there.

Episode 19: Can we get our “No More Dojo Episodes” Belt Already?
oh silly Misty, thats just an Ariados…..I’m sure they, like their Spinarak younger brothers and sisters are mostly harmless!

oh its probably just sleeping…

oh hey Aya, girl who is the sister of Koga from the Kanto League Gym. how are doing? please don’t put Team Ash into a life threatening situation or throw shuriken at them again. its dangerous.

and oh hey, her outfit is a darker color. looks like she took Misty’s advice to heart.

3rd dojo episode then! what now, will Ash prove that an outsider can learn the way so poke-jujitsu as well? will he somehow challenge Aya to become better at it? or oh, let me guess, a rival dojo will come in and try to arrogantly prove themselves better, or an arrogant rival of Aya will try to prove that she is better than her? will Team Rocket try to take the Ariados to use it for knitting? I’m just trying to predict what is happening here.

yup called it Ash will try and enroll to become a better battler….sigh….

….whats with the color-coded gis? aren’t they supposed to all have the same color or whatever? oh. different classes. oh. this is just a plot device to make Misty have to deal a Spinarak. kay.

wow, Brock. you really should’ve picked a better pokemon to catch than one who literally explodes with joy. I wonder if Voltorb trainers experience similar problems.

and wow, the Ariados master guy is really badass. flies, gets rid of Team Rocket’s balloon and gets the pokemon back all in one flight.


Episode 20: Yanma Is Stupid.
and so we open with a Yanma stealing Ash’s hat. congrats, your now qualified to be caught as one of Ash’s pokemon!

and its quite a troublesome Yanma isn’t it? and maybe you haven’t gotten enough Gym Badges for it to listen to you Zachary?

and yeah, this Yanma seems to be the stupidest one in existence. it fails its spot checks so hard that it doesn’t notice the trouble its causing.

and Team Rocket takes advantage of this like nothing else, and Zachary takes the fall.

huh, so the Yanma just needed to learn to keep its Sonic Boom attack sheathed. like say, a swordsman learning when not to draw their sword. if that makes any sense.

Episode 21: Ash’s Tournament Curse
oh hey we’re finally getting close to Ecroutique City! (that is how you spell it right? its been a long time since I’ve played Gold and I never got the remakes, so I’m probably wrong)

and Ash wins! and dude, what the hell Brock and Misty, why are you shaming Ash for this? Ash just proved that Skiploom needs a lot more training before it can take on a Gym. again. fairness. not a thing in Pokemon. you want to get better at something, you fail until you don’t fail no more.

Jessie, the Meowth disguise plan won’t work, you’ve tried that before and it only ends in pain. just capture a nearby Bellossom.

oh crap, Ash is so overconfident that he will lose. SIIIIIIIIIIIIIGH.

first match: Bulbasaur vs. Gloom. lets see how Ash loses. no wait he wins effortlessly. maybe he is not so wrong after all. but there has got to be SOMETHING to prevent him from winning too much…we can’t have him actually prove his confidence right for too long! he might actually become a protagonist who starts succeeding and we can’t have that? why, because apparently the Pokemon Company thinks that just because Ash wins a canonical tournament it will mean his story is over. or something. maybe they shooting for the “common loser” demographic? like, they never let Ash actually win, because they want to keep him in that place where he is relatable to people? I don’t know.

oh no, Ash is going to lose to freaking MEOWTH? No. just no. I know Team Rocket are cheaters but come on he beats Team Rocket like, once an episode as a part of his daily after-breakfast workout, I’m pretty sure he should win.

Meowth is an impostor. Ash wins. kay. this is acceptable. but let me guess: he wins against Team Rocket, then losses against the Skiploom in the final round because he didn’t train. *roll eyes* if it really goes that route here is a secret: one day of training changes nothing. training only works over a long period of time. Ash should win.

an ypu, it comes down to Skiploom and Bulbasaur. sigh. lets see how Ash finally gets slapped down. yet again.

“y’know I have a funny feeling that this match won’t end the way we think”-Brock
oh, you THINK. You think? what tipped you off? Ash suddenly become confident that he can do something for once? a set up of Skiploom losing early on just so it can win later on? the fact that Ash is forever destined to never climb too high? BECAUSE IT SHOULD BE FREAKING OBVIOUS TO ANYONE WITH A BRAIN WHAT IS GOING ON HERE.

and yup, a Solar beam comes out of goddamn nowhere and takes away another victory that Ash had in the bag. SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGH.

No! no! No! Stop! stop now! Stop now! this is wrong. I don’t like this episode. Ash should’ve won. its another slap down, another piece of proof that the universe is constantly finagling itself to make sure that Ash is kept eternally on a cyclical quest that he will probably never complete. just let him succeed more! give him something more than tournaments he only makes halfway through or a single trophy in his home. just. argh.

“pride goes before a fall”- yeah, because Ash is the POSTER-CHILD for pride. the person everyone says is a loser, has confidence issues and constantly makes mistakes is prideful. NOT BUYING IT. I mean sure, Ash has overconfident moods. but derailing his character like by putting him into those moods every time he starts doing things right, while teaching him things, makes me and the viewer frustrated that he is constantly used as a lesson for a problem he normally doesn’t have! especially when he was so close to winning and clearly deserved a win after a while. ergh.

and yeah, these three episodes are particularly tiring and annoying to me. the first is well, just another dojo episode for no reason, the second depicts the stupidest Yanma in existence, and the third demonstrates how Ash seems to attract the ire of the cosmos every time he gets actual confidence and tries to win a tournament. I mean....does it really change anything if he actually won and had a bunch of Leaf Stones with him? no, but you could use that as say, a Chekov's Gun for a later episode or something, and you'd prove that Ash can y'know, win tournaments instead of getting slapped down every time he tries. but....its just a detail that serves no purpose because he loses, just to keep the status quo.

[ThePhantom]

You think this is bad, having Ash lose? The latest tournament the writers take the cake. The winner there, he used Darkai to beat all the gyms, and then through the tournament. Ash barely manages to beat it, his next pokemon, Latios. Yah, it was clear to everyone out of universe of the hax. The writers of pokemon have a bit of a problem with that, through that's the first of their two big problems. The other problem shows up in the season based on the next games.

[Lord Raziere]

You think this is bad, having Ash lose? The latest tournament the writers take the cake. The winner there, he used Darkai to beat all the gyms, and then through the tournament. Ash barely manages to beat it, his next pokemon, Latios. Yah, it was clear to everyone out of universe of the hax. The writers of pokemon have a bit of a problem with that, through that's the first of their two big problems. The other problem shows up in the season based on the next games.

.....oh come on, man spoilers. I didn't know that.

but woooooow thats bull. bull to the highest degree. thats bull of the Tauros and Bouffalant variety especially when I consider all the movies canon, have seen the fifth movie, and pretty sure there is a Darkrai movie. unless there are multiple legendaries- which is highly unlikely to impossible- Ash got beaten by a guy who captured legendaries he saved/helped in the past, in a universe that implies that unlike the videogames, capturing legendaries is not A-OK. mostly due to environmental concerns and well, second movie guys. capturing the guys who uphold the cosmos isn't a good idea. I mean sure there is Red, but I don't consider that in the same continuity as Ash-verse. but then again I think there is a Johto episode where a Lugia has a child Lugia? which MIGHT mean there is more than one Darkrai and Latios? I dunno. and thats so far away, I still have like what, a hundred or so more episodes of Johto to get through or something? maybe about 85? and I still won't be close. oh well. Gotta Catch Up all!

Episode 22: Charmane, Pichu Herder.
aaand we’re still not in Ecroutique city. what the hell. are we still on the goddamn mountain?

um, Team Idiot? aren’t forgetting that this is probably an orchard? you try to pick any of those fruit and a Jenny will probably pop up out of nowhere and try to arrest you. like literally just have their crime sense tingle then teleport in without you knowing.

and while its not a Jenny, Pikachu gets framed probably some other Pokemon that is too stupid for laws and other peoples businesses. GREAT.

and yay, Ash uses common sense, its super-effective.

and it looks the real thieves are a bunch of Pichu. hm. not raising my opinion of the pokemon from its already…..humble position.

but they redeem themselves by becoming useful workers and defenders of the orchard. cool! exactly what I would’ve done with them.

and yeah thats probably going to be a cute orchard for some time. and when they evolve into Pikachu, they will finally be able to defend it without shocking themselves!

I actually like this episode. Pichu were adorable and badass in this episode, and it has a good lesson in that sometimes an enemy can become a great ally. too bad your still a bad ‘mon in the games and are pointless in general aside from your cuteness. so sad, Pichu. so sad.

Episode 23: Houndoom? More like Hound’aaaaaaaaaaawwww…..
oh hey a delivery Houndoom. guess thats one use for the pokemon

and oh hey the Houndoom rescues Togepi. d’aaaaaaawwwwww.

oh poor Houndoom. it has to protect and watch over Togepi while delivering its package.

and Team Ash are hot on the trail….

wow, Team Rocket just gets blasted off by a random Gyarados. not their lucky day.

and yeah, the Houndoom is basically a big ol softie.

and hey Raikou! fancy meeting you here.

and yeah, thats basically all thats notable.

Episode 24: Dowsing Rod Bottlecap Scam
yes. finally we’ve got to Ecroutique City. after….21 goddamn episodes. I think only Blaine was longer to get to. whose the Gym Leader here? some Ghost guy I think.

nice bird’s eye view of the town, and oh hey look, I think I see the Tendo’s Dojo from here.

and yeah, I wouldn’t trust a firebreathing clown trying to sell me something that “detects treasure” either. I mean really….how obvious of a scam can you be? the clown is probably just another Ghastly in human form trying to troll people and make money at the same time.

James. No. Don’t fall for it. You need to get food. Concentrate on the important life-sustaining substances James.

You fell for it. and now your going around digging up bottlecaps and whatever other junk you think is treasure. Great.

Team Ash: OBVIOUS ILLUSION IS OBVIOUS.

hello Morty!

and Ash finally talks about seeing the Ho-oh so long ago! Morty doubts it of course. but Ash seeing it must be significant somehow. if it only appears to a chosen few in times of peace or something, then that must be good for Ash somehow….

….I wouldn’t call it cowardice if they know that trying to beat you is useless Ash. at this point, I’m pretty sure its just plain “smart decision”. Its not cowardice if they know that trying to be courageous won’t succeed in the slightest.

but hey, look on the bright side Team Rocket: at least James got to keep his new bottle caps. that I’m pretty sure the clown planted all over the city just so you’d kept occupied long enough for him to make his escape with the money he scammed you out of.

Episode 25: Passing the Ghost Test.
and so we start off with Ash checking the pokedex on Gengar and how he needs to deal with Ghost pokemon-always a tricky pokemon type to deal with. but Nurse Joy says that Noctowl is his secret weapon- it can use foresight and attack like normal. Joy is useful again! but mentioning this early probably means that Noctowl has to be taken out to provide some tension at the end so that he can use Pikachu.

and Morty reveals that teaching is another part of the Gym leader’s duties. hm. so far Gym Leaders are shaping up to be more than just these guys who await challengers- they go out and teach others about pokemon, they help maintain pokemon environments and keep people from interfering with them. so they are actually a pretty vital element in the pokemon world- I imagine that some places need a specialist to deal with certain types of pokemon who know how they work. and thus the logic of the Gym Leader challenge starts to emerge: a pokemon trainer needs to learn how to deal with a wide variety of types of pokemon, if a trainer can’t beat a guy who only uses one type, how dot hey expect to beat one who uses all of them? Gym Leaders are less like competitive battlers and more like teachers issuing a test- the test being a Gym battle to see if they know how to deal with a certain pokemon. thus every Gym Leader is in some way a mentor to the trainer challenging them. You don’t issue tests for everything, you issue tests for certain subjects and problems. Which probably means that each Pokemon has their own field of study dedicated to them.

and Team Rocket comes in again, and it seems that the treasure detector is still with James actually. kay. and I was right, he does still have his bottle caps.

now its time to face MORTY, FOURTH GYM LEADER OF THE JOHTO LEAGUE!

Ash! bad idea! save Noctowl for Gengar! now it will beat a Ghastly but not lose to Haunter probably….

and Pikachu loses because Ghastly is tricky.

and Team Rocket has hit pay dirt! but is now getting attacked by Ghastly….and just when they were starting to figure out to not tangle with Team Ash….

and now Cyndaquil has lost to Haunter….which means he needs to win TWO battles against opponents TOUGHER than Ghastly. uh-oh. heres to hoping it doesn’t end with another rematch…..

and now its…..Noctowl Vs. Gengar. Fight!

Noctowl takes out Gengar using confusion IN ALL DIRECTIONS……oh well I think that MAYBE gen 2 probably reversed the Ghost/Psychic weakness thing? so I guess its legit? all know is that Gen 6 reversed it back.


and yeah, I actually like the Pichu episode the best, though the Hound'aaaaw episode was good too. and we finally meet the Gym Leader! a good fight, and a good use of an attack to solve things in an unconventional manner. really good slew of episodes.

[Lord Raziere]

kay, three more.

Episode 26: Secora, Female Mikey Clone
and so they have to figure out whether to go to Mahogany Town or Olivine City (they’re going to Olivine. Mahogany Town is home to the seventh Gym leader, the ice guy so its obvi- EEEEEEEEE!!! AN EEVEE! WHO IS A CUTE LITTLE EEVEE, YOU ARE! YOU ARE! YES YOU ARE!

and so they meet Secora, whose sisters apparently perform the Tea Ceremony. um….wait….younger sister with an Eevee that has older sisters….sigh…I think I know where this is going…

uh Brock is falling for a girl again…..twice….thrice……four times….Brock has achieved…..4XSHALLOWCRUSH COMBO!! One for every quadrant. unfortunately Brock, they are all flushed, so it doesn’t count! You need to hate at least two and be completely platonic for another.

wow, Team Rocket has all the manners and tact of….stereotypical non-Conan barbarians. or Americans. whichever one you think is more fitting. but really, I know in Japanese culture its supposed to be a villainous trait, but to me, this just makes Team Rocket more sympathetic. I know I’m bad at the formal dinner etiquette thing, and really don’t want to deal with it- I just want to eat. no use trying to fancy-fy what is essentially an action to fuel my body.

wait what, she wants to go with them? bah. I don’t remember them taking her along so….yeah, she probably won’t be coming along to my memory.

can’t master an umbrella, umbrellas and dances have nothing to do with pokemon! and she has three people to watch over her, provide a good reason to not go or give permission.

and….well they actually have good reasons for her to not go. kay.

and they choose Olivine because it has a beach. Kay. I’ve heard of worse reasons to choose a direction.

Episode 27: Meh-krow
….three pairs of eyes. this is going to be a “pokemon steals Ash’s badges” episode isn’t it? which one though? either three Meowths, Murkrows, or I’m forgetting a mon…

yup, Murkrow are trying to steal Ash’s badges! thunderbolt em now! NOW! before they leap into action!

and yeah, today is not Ash’s day. especially when Team Rocket comes onto the scene as well…

yeah, even Team Rocket hate Murkrow. these things are shaping up to be annoying little buggers.

and the Murkrow help because….Team Rocket bleh. this episode just wasn’t all that exciting one way or another.

Episode 28: Refracted Desert Aurora
and so we wind up in another desert, inexplicably. guys? use your water pokemon?

and so they see these weird lights, and there was once this old civilization and such, sorry I was too caught up in the episode to comment, but its all too logical: the civilization mirrors what happened with some pre-colonial South american civilizations who used up too much resources and fell as well.

and some old artist wants to draw the lights thing, cool.

and now they’ve gotten to the lake where this strange tower is. what.

and Team Rocket figures out that its just a bunch of ice. kay.

oh crap, the artist is a veteran with a Venusaur. a Venu-Veteran. Team Rocket. RUN. he will kick your ass more than any Ace Trainer will.

and yeah, the ice tower is what cause the light show. kay. and Venu-Veteran goes forth and chases pokemon once again, because the beauty he saw was in fact related to pokemon. kay. its is mysterious though. I don’t consider Remoraid all that great though.

I actually think Ep 28 is the best of the three here. has a good mysterious phenomenon and worldbuilding aspects to it. Ep 27 is just...meh. not that interesting.

[ThePhantom]

The fight with Morty is good. As for confusion winning, Gengar is ghost/poison. Poison is weak to psychic. As for Tobias, sorry. I'm a bit used for a little freer with spoilers. Well, it seems that that sometimes there's more than one of a legendary, and sometimes there is not.

Ah, the dancing girls, they got more important in the remake.
I think I saw the ice tower episode. It's always nice to see something cool that pokemon can do.

[Lord Raziere]

Ah, the dancing girls, they got more important in the remake.
I think I saw the ice tower episode. It's always nice to see something cool that pokemon can do.

Bweh? more important? what remake?

and yeah, I wish I could speed this up, but nothing ever gets done by rushing it. I'll just have to get to Tobias when we come to him just like Paul. their days will come. I promise you that.

Episode 29: Stealiursa
oh Team Ash, you know that your just going to get your pokemon to take care of it anyways.

huh, the “scary pokemon” seems to have the eyes of a Kabuto. not impressed.

oh the “scary pokemon” is just a Teddiursa. whatever.

uh-oh. I think the Teddiursa is a naughty one.

uh-oh, I think the Teddiursa is going to do something to Team Rocket. their business is too legit to last….

no wait, it just framed Totodile. Yeah. its pulling that “too cute to possibly do anything wrong” act uuuuuuuugh. I hate these kinds of characters. lets just get on with it.

ha! can’t frame Togepi, Teddiursa! its Togepi. the pokemon is practically protected by all seven poke-gods of luck with back up Mew insurance.

…..then Chikorita got framed. murrrrrrrg.

but the Teddiursa gets found out! alright.

and the Teddiursa is tough enough to single-handedly defeat Team Rocket. not the greatest of achievements really.

ha! but its so tough it becomes an Ursaring and now it can’t charm anyone! THATS KARMIC RETRIBUTION FOR YA, URSARING. You got exactly what you deserved.


and now its time for:

The Articuno Photo Trilogy:

Episode 30: Trolling Romance Grandma
oh hey, Camera Todd. nice to see you again.

wait, “Light Fantastic”…..”Moving Pictures”……is Pokemon going through a Discworld title phase?

Team Rocket, a cool new pokemon? dude, Sunkern is perhaps one of the few pokemon that can honestly say that its near Magikarp in how weak and useless it is. go catch a Ratatta/Rattatat or a Bidoof, those are more useful.

oh my god they made us sit through this long tragic tale just to troll us and Team Ash with an old ladies idea of romance! Marcello is alive, and just allows his wife to troll everyone she meets.

a THIRD story? yea, I’m on to your trolling ways, grandma. it didn’t actually happen.

and the sunkern actually saves the day using Sunny Day. whatever. Sunny Day isn’t all that useful in battle.

and thus Todd sees the Articuno and suddenly they’re sidetracking to find the legendary Articuno. just hope it doesn’t keep you too long, Ash….

Episode 31: Why Use Ice Pokemon To Find Something Hot Anyways?
uh-oh, attack of the Swinub. they’re going to have to defend their toes with their ives. truly, what terrifying creatures they are. I’m practically shaking in my boots from fear. Scream. Run. Terror.

and so a guy makes his living finding hot springs and digging them up, but hasn’t much success the past two jobs. oh. hm. thats a…..problem for certain.

and man, Todd misses the perfect shot. poor guy.

congratulations Team Rocket! you found OIL! search for a hot spring, find an oil well, thats Team Rocket Epic Failure in action! Yet somehow, they’ve succeeded beyond their wildest imaginings.

no wait, epic fail, its a oil pipeline. but since when has theft stopped you before, Team Rocket? take all the oil you can and sell it, skedaddle.

lol, Todd won’t take any pictures of Jessie, and Jessie’s only picture as a model is in the freaking BACKGROUND.

well looks like Team Rocket found a spring after all…..
*sunglasses*
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH………

Episode 32: Pokemon Coldsnap
Poor Jigglypuff. its frozen solid, in the middle of its song. and they’re going to unfreeze it, the poor, poor fools…..THOSE POOR UNFORTUNATE SOULS!

and what, Team Rocket get attacked by Spearow while climbing….that doesn’t even make sense, why would Spearow even ROOST this high up!? its completely frozen! there is no food or anything for them! THIS IS JUST RANDOM ENCOUNTER BULL****!

um, Ash…..flaw in your plan: it will also put EVERYONE ELSE TO SLEEP. Todd won’t get to take a snap shot if he is snoozing.

Team Rocket is doomed and….
Articuno: Oh no, not another three travelers stuck on that place! Why I remember 1200 years ago, when I rescued three guys stuck on that very same place….

TODD! ARTICUNO! TAKE IT TAKE IT TAKE IT TAKE IT TAKE IT TAKE IT TAKE IT…

Todd why aren’t you taking the picture! and Jigglypuff, why are you starting to sing!? aAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH……

GodDAMMIT Team Rocket…

poor Jigglypuff, it got blown away along with Team Rocket…

Todd. By all the gods of opportunity and luck, take the picture now while the sun is out and Articuno is sparkling! If you pass this up, I’m not forgiving you for it.

and yes! he takes it! awesome! nice to see one dream get finished around here!

and so we end the episode on Jigglypuff singing Team Rocket to sleep…..while there is snow out….and they could probably die if they sleep……how……funny?

and of these episodes, I like the one with the Articuno the best. I mean, its freaking Articuno, this is like, the first time in the actual anime that Ash has really interacted with a legendary pokemon beyond mysterious few second appearances before it vanishes. before this, in the actual anime all that happened was him seeing Ho-oh, once, from a distance, and seeing Suicune once also from a distance. I consider the movies canon yes, but this is the first time outside the movies that a legendary pokemon was something central to the episode rather than just some mysterious random encounter that doesn't seem to serve any purpose. and it shows someone succeeding at something that no one has been able to do: take a picture of freaking Articuno, Todd has achieved something that most probably never will, and he should be proud of that.

[AGD]

Sunny Day isn’t all that useful in battle.

Yes, Pokemon with Drought are more useful. If you are speaking about the weather in general, I must correct you. There were almost only Weather-Teams in Gen-5-Competitive-Battle. You could run a Sun-Team with a Ninetales with Drought and then build your whole Team around it. With Fire-Pokemon with increased STAB(Same Type Attack Bonus. If a Pokemon attacks with the same type that it possesses, the damage is increased, like Fire and Flying-Attacks for a Charizard)-Attacks, Pokemon with Water-Weaknesses, that dont take as much damage from Water-Attacks in the Sun and Pokemon with Abilities, that make them very useful in the Sun like Chlorophyll, Leaf Guard, Solar Power or Dry Skin.

But Rain-Teams were better, because the Pokemon with useful Abilities in the Sun were mostly Grass-Pokemon, who have at the same time the disadvantage, that they are weak to Fire-Attacks, which are increased in the Sun. Abilities like Swift Swim on the other hand are mostly possessed by Water-Pokemon. A Water-Pokemon with Swift Swim in the Rain has doubled Speed and increased STAB-Attacks.

Weather-Teams are one of the few useful Monotype-Teams(But most Weather-Teams have only 3 or 4 Pokemon of the same Type).

[ThePhantom]

The remake of the games, soulsilver and heartgold. You need to track them down and help out to get legendaries.

Now, I saw Teddiursa episode, and I hated that little thing. I hate that framing act. As for the Articuno episodes, I think I saw some of them, but not quite all of them.

[Lord Raziere]

@ AGD: that would mean that Psyduck's Cloud Nine thing is actually useful for something. hm. did we have this conversion before about certain defenses? I remember resolving to teach more pokemon Brick Break.

@ The Phantom: yeah, I get you. cutesy framing acts like that deserve the special hell reserved for mass murderers and people talking in movie theaters.

Episode 33: Success Is Fleeting
an Arcanine episode eh.

and man, I really wish we could ride pokemon in the games. I mean, sure XY has limited areas where you could do that, but you couldn’t ride your OWN pokemon everywhere you know? like with a bike.

“start off slow” RIGHT. thats slow, and my shoes are made of gold.

and Team Rocket shows up again, right on time for their weekly-to-daily asskicking.

no wait, we’re going off-schedule, Team Rocket actually plans ahead enough to SUCCEED through various tricks. wow. they can be competent. wonder how long it will last.

not long. not long.

Episode 34: Popularity is Overrated.
somehow, I just knew when I saw that net, that the person was trying to find a Dunsparce. its pretty much the only Bug pokemon left I can think of in Johto that has’t been looked at yet. I think.

….so Bucky wants a Dunsparce because everyone else has one. don’t give into popularity Bucky! rock the Caterpie! make it into a Butterfree of INDIVIDUALITY through the Metapod of NON-CONFORMITY! or catch a fire type and totally be like “so what if you all have Dunsparce, I can burn you all to cinders, ahahahahahahaha!”

why is this town so crazy about Dunsparce? I never found it to be that notable of a pokemon.

I dunno, helping him find a Dunsparce just to fit in with the other kids doesn’t seem like the right solution to me, maybe I’m too much of an autistic pseudo-hipster non-conformist artist type, but wouldn’t it be better to teach how Caterpie can be awesome too and how he doesn’t need a Dunsparce just to be socially accepted, and how taking care of a Pokemon is more than just about fitting in socially and how you should take care of your Caterpie instead of finding a Dunsparce replacement that you might neglect your Caterpie for or something? just throwing that out there…

oh hey, Team Rocket….don’t you need a zeppelin or airship to rock the airship pirate look? a hot air balloon is close but kinda lame.

wow, fail, even Team Rocket gets Dunsparce. by ACCIDENT.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! James gets a Moltres costume. nice nod to a previous episode!

wow, only kids would fall for “trade Dunsparce for a Moltres”, but I’m guessing it will backfire, because the towns kids are too enamored of Dunsparce to ever give them up for a Moltres right?

No wait, they do give them up, this proves that the Dunsparce is just a sad, shallow fad. as soon as an offer for a greater pokemon came along, they all gave their Dunsparce up without a second thought. aside from one girl. she is the only one who understands what it means to raise a pokemon.

“they all worked really hard to train them and raise them and love them”-BULL****. they didn’t really love their Dunsparce. they treated them as a fad then gave them away the second some guys came along and said they would trade a bunch of Moltres for them.

yeah thats great, a month later, all the kids ditch their Dunsparce for a bunch of Houndour as the new popular thing and suddenly Bucky is back right where he started, now with a Dunsparce and a Caterpie both weak to the new popular Pokemon.

Episode 35: Goddammit Wobbuffet.
and we start of with another Team Rocket ploy!

and it goes horribly wrong and now they’re racing to get Wobbuffet for the key. kay.

and wow, Wobbuffet is really annoying to catch for a patient pokemon. it somehow gets involved with a great thief, manipulates a hot air balloon, goes flying, accidentally steals a speeding boat….and breaks both the steering wheel and the brakes. does it have super-strength or something?

I think we’re in a city similar to one the Pichu Brothers were in….

and yeah, Team Rocket goes right back to hating Wobbuffet after an entire episode trying to get it back. Wobbuffet is just dead-weight for whoever is currently using it on the show.

I particularly don't like the Dunsparce episode, but that may be my super-non-conformist bias showing. the other two aren't all that notable really.

also I'm starting to notice the pattern of Johto episodes, but these three above don't illustrate them:
Brock episodes- there are actually a lot of these in Johto
Father and Son apprentice episodes
something involving some old tradition
some weird contest or tournament
a dojo episode
weird rich people.

seriously. Johto seems to be a very tradition-filled place, with a lot of old world themes in it. and rich people for some reason-inherited/old money? better world-building than Kanto, that just seems generic in all respects, but the first setting always does feel that way in retrospect. I guess this is the first time that Pokemon is now having regional flavor to it- Kanto had its weirdness and blatant environmentalist/ anti-evolution bullying messages, Orange Islands had its hidden exotic pokemon and strange challenges, Johto has its traditions, contests and rich people.

[ThePhantom]

I think that Dunsparce is based on a mythical animal in Japan, one that's supposed to give good luck. That and in the games its low appearance rate makes it rare. Not a useful pokemon, but rare.

I remember seeing the Wobbuffet episode, that was a bit amusing.

[Lord Raziere]

Episode 36: Brock, Substitute Parent (Totally Not Delirious)
Uh oh. Brock is sick! Who is going to make bad pickup lines to beautiful girls now!?

Where’d this cabin come from!?

and this is a predictable “we never realized how much Brock is pretty much our substitute parent” episode great. prepare for cringe-worthy do things that Mom has to do cliches!

oh god, no, Ash no water! NO WATER!

and Brock is off in la-la-land. I think the three women he is looking at are Joy, Jenny and….someone else in kimono garb….the third one has hair similar to Duplica….Brock….your creeping me out….

Team Rocket, do you ALWAYS have to introduce yourself like this, even when your not causing any trouble? seriously I’m starting to worry that this is some sort of obsessive-compulsive disorder you have.

ok, that was on Team Rocket that time, if the only let Ash have one container of apples, they’d be able to make money for life apparently, but noooooo, they had to get Pikachu…

those three kimono’d girls again….still pretty sure the green-haired one is Duplica…I think….

oh gods above, Misty graduated from the Akane School of Cooking….

and Ash quite wisely refuses.

speaking of Heracross, when is that blue beetle going to return? it seems that Ash never really got it back from Oak and just kept using Bulbasaur.

and Jessie apparently likes it. must be the poor upbringing- maybe she ate lots of similar cooking disasters…

oh Brock…..saves the day, still can get any girls-not even in his dreams.

Episode 37: Belly Trampoline Style
“its an intriguing little village, Misty”- Brock don’t repeat the narrator word for word, are you still recovering from your fever?

….a sumo-wrestling pokemon competition with a no-attack rule? thats just the pokemon using Struggle, thats little better than what Mewtwo did. whats the point of such a competition?

oh, get Snorlax! thats a real good choice for a sumo competition. no one can out sumo the ‘Lax.

oh right, Snorlax sleeps a lot. thats a big flaw in this plan. cue the food in 3…..2…..1…

and is he off! do it Snorlax, DO IT FOR THE FOOD!

Team Rocket, why not just stick to the scam part and not steal the pokemon? the scams already work, you just screw things up by trying to outright steal things in an obvious manner.

yay! Ash finally wins a tournament!

and heh, Team Rocket’s scam didn’t get off the ground because it was over before they were done making the fakes. thats just reality right there.

Episode 38: The Pokemon Whisperer
Pikachu, I think I know why your exhausted: your not riding around on Ash’s shoulder like you usually do, you lazy little mouse.

oh hey a guy that speaks fluent Pokespeak. why didn’t we encounter someone like that earlier?

an hm, it seems like he might be a scammer, but then the real scammers show up.

hm, perhaps those three he talked with were just like Meowth? they learned to speak human, not the other way around.

and then he persuades the magnemite to stop sucking electricity to save the pokemon center, and gets off the hook….

then Meowth fakes him being able to understand pokespeak. kay….I guess the old man will continue to work out the rest of his days trying to understand pokemon, thinking that he might someday break through….never knowing that the pokemon he met are probably all actually ones who can speak like humans. poor guy.

of the three.....the sick Brock episode is probably the best. the tournament, while showing Ash winning a tournament, is otherwise boring, while the one with the pokemon whisperer guy just makes me feel pity for him because he doesn't realize that it might just be the opposite and that the pokemon are speaking to him in human speech and he just never realizes it. they never even think to confirm whether one or the other is true or not, and the pokemon speaking like humans is the more probable explanation seeing as how he hasn't understood pokemon for 50 years since that day....aside from Meowth, and the pokemon he spoke to 50 years ago had similar speech patterns to Meowth not in accent, but in how they said their pokemon names in addition to their regular speech. Meowth didn't help at all, he only deceived the guy by confirming the wrong hypothesis.

[ThePhantom]

I didn't see any of these episodes, but at least there's hope for the pokemon whisper. There someone who does have that ability, N. And since N is a wanderer, its possible that those two might meet up sometime.

[Lord Raziere]

I didn't see any of these episodes, but at least there's hope for the pokemon whisper. There someone who does have that ability, N. And since N is a wanderer, its possible that those two might meet up sometime.

From entirely different regions, in an episodic show, separated by years of storyline stasis, when the protagonist is Ash? Yeah, that chance is astronomically unlikely to happen.

Episode 39: Super Jack Of All Trades Brock
whats up with Golbat?

Control Freak? He is there? did he get his start with Pokemon before becoming a Teen Titans fanboy?

wow, Brock must be the Rogue of the group. not the greatest in a fight, but has so many useful skills you need to keep him around for anything to get done in between.

but isn’t getting a staff and mask to control Pokemon just to end in tears anyways? I mean we saw what happened at the ruins in Kanto what ancient poke-artifacts do, these things are not things I’d rely on. its good to be true, there has to be a downside.

and Jessie gets the mask and staff. of course. great, the power to command all pokemon in the hands of this bossy one.

aha, thats the downside- it only works in a single village! thats why its so hax, mechanically its a super-mind control effect that has a very big downside applied to it that only makes it useful in one place. region-based superpowers are the worst kind.

ah, Team Rocket, still trying to find whatever gain they can out of something. if they can’t control all pokemon, they can at least sell the artifacts for a lot of money.

and Golbat evolved into…..CROBAT! something only possible with an incredibly high friendship! knowing Brock, that is kind of a given.

so yeah, its all solved and Brock once again journeys on without a girlfriend…but whats really notable about this episode is Brock. he can cook, clean, fix electronics, raise and care for pokemon, understand pokemon better than most people, listen for supersonic sound waves, due to his backstory he is good with kids, he is no slouch at combat….he is basically some weird inverted Bard or Anti-Elan. he is useful at everything but seducing the opposite sex.

Episode 40: For Art!
James, don’t pun! even though you guys have made bad puns like a zillion times on this show, seriously, why does he get smacked for a pun when you guys constantly do them when your stealing pokemon?

and the Smeargle are painting the white walls with loud colors. hm. I’m conflicted. On one hand, an entire town painted white to be one vast art piece sounds kind of cool. On the other, the Smeargle are artists as well, expressing themselves and white is kind of dull. its a conflict of art vs. art. I have feared this day would come.

I’m suddenly not sympathetic to the Smeargle, framing Team Ash for their trouble…

….so suddenly a world-renowned attract artist named Jack Polikson comes and clears things up. eh. I prefer my art to be more…..concrete. I may like fantastic stuff, but I just don’t get abstract art.

WHAT! a new masterpiece? this is getting to be crazy. there is a limit to what you can make art on and from. making art on people without their consent is mad! This is….Mad Artistry. *lightning strike*

oh no, Team Rocket, you idiots….

and the beautiful piece of art is gone, washed away. what a tragedy.

this reminds me, I should really catch a Smeargle. why I haven’t when I like art and creativity so much, I don’t know but I’m gonna do that. anyone have good recommendations for Smeargle nicknames? I want to nickname it after a good and famous artist, but no one too obvious.

Episode 41: (Totally Not Crazy) Female Brock Clone: Tamaku
uh-oh. Brock has his own medicine turned against him…..or is it. wheehehehehehehehe…..Brock has his own medicine turned against him! face someone falling in love with YOU for a change, BROCK!

“You and I will be married someday too.”- Misty to Ash
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Misty where did this come from!? Freudian slip ahoy! a massive one! so out of nowhere. I guess the Ash-Misty romance is canon. Sorry Chikorita!

I guess Brock now knows what its like to be on the other side of the chase. and he has no idea what to do. its like, the one time the girl is practically THROWING herself at him, and he suddenly becomes completely hesitant and unsure about it. maybe its like, he doesn’t like to be one who is being coming onto? like, he wants to be initiator in the relationship, so Tamaku is pretty much not Brock’s type at all, because he wants to be one chasing her, when she is chasing him. so Tamaku might actually be the worst girl for Brock.

thank you, Misty for stating the obvious about Brock: he can basically do anything. except seduce a girl that will gel with him.

and Misty tries to give advice based on her experiences with Ash, oh my god, this is like, the best episode ever. a single reversal of the usual Brock’s attempts at getting a girl lead to Brock suddenly becoming unsure of what to do, Misty trying to get him to actually hook up with her based on her own failure at trying to find love in Ash, this is freaking hilarious.

and Tamaku now falls in love with JAMES. she is a female Brock, and her heart is fickle.

and oh right, James has a trauma concerning clingy brides. yeah, Tamaku is barking up the wrong tree here.
*sunglasses*
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!

but Jessie is trying to get James to take advantage of this as always…

wow Brock, that is the worst luck, just the worst luck, a girl practically throws herself at you, you finally try to accept your only chance at love and…….she falls in love with the doctor who healed her. the cosmos is just plain toying with you now.

wow, two Brockisodes between the first look at Smeargle. really, there has been a lot of Brock episodes during Johto, from the Stantler, to giving back Vulpix, to the Golbat evolution, to examining how he is basically the parent of Team Ash, to the Crobat evolution and now him finding out that he isn't so sure when his own way of acting around girls is thrown right back at him. Johto might as well be called the Golden Age Of Brock. those three Smeargle on the other hand....their potential in truth is wasted. Smeargle using Sketch can literally learn any move in existence, they really are like this blank canvas of a moveset that you can put any move into, I just discovered this myself recently and I'm planning on getting a Smeargle breeding project going so that I can experiment with all the possibilities. too bad I'm pretty sure that you can't have the same pokemon twice in actual competitive play, I would love to go around defeating people using nothing but Smeargle.

[ThePhantom]

Only saw the first of these episodes. The rest I didn't see., and yes, there seems to be a lot more brock episodes in this season. He does have a lot of talents, must come from having to take care of about ten younger siblings for years.

[AGD]

I would love to go around defeating people using nothing but Smeargle.

Lets change that to battling people using nothing but Smeargle. It can learn every Move, but its Stats are bad, especially its offensive Stats. It is usually used as a Support-Pokemon without offensive moves. Instead it usually uses Things like Baton Pass with Boosting Moves, Sleep Attacks, Hazards(like Stealth Rock or Sticky Web), Taunt etc.

[Lord Raziere]

Lets change that to battling people using nothing but Smeargle. It can learn every Move, but its Stats are bad, especially its offensive Stats. It is usually used as a Support-Pokemon without offensive moves. Instead it usually uses Things like Baton Pass with Boosting Moves, Sleep Attacks, Hazards(like Stealth Rock or Sticky Web), Taunt etc.

Oh no. the nerd-tiering strikes again. the eternal rain on my parade. you may think that doing things like is enabling, but all I see is concepts destroyed and forgotten because of attitudes like this, people discarding a cool concept just because of the numbers. it brings a tear to my eye every time, and it pains my heart every time this sort of thing is pointed out. it is why optimizers always discard my ideas. and there is no point to a pokemon without any offensive moves. so yeah, I'm going to say "screw that" and make whatever goddamn Smeargle I want, stop stomping on my fun! I'm going to fight people with whatever pokemon I want, so if you so much as DARE to consider to suggest discarding one of them to use Pokemon I don't like for some "optimized team" save it. :smallannoyed:

(and yes, I do include Wobbuffet when I said that, my experience with such moves like Counter only end in pain for the pokemon using the move and the foe not being as damaged as I thought they would be, and therefore not really useful.)

and please no responses along the lines of this discussion either, I don't want this thread getting clogged up by discussion about my dislike of optimizers, and I will make sure it doesn't, no matter what.

Episode 42: Just Here For Bayleaf
“maybe there’s some abandoned food inside” wow, Team Rocket your so hungry these days that you’ll go for any chance, no matter how slim to get something to eat. yet another theme of Johto: Hunger. namely, Team Rocket seems to be focused on eating half the time in this region.

oh no, Jigglypuff again.

wow Ash, you failed a spot check there. didn’t notice that burst security pad or anything.

and huh, Pikachu apparently has a sixth sense for Ash in danger. or just REALLY good hearing.

I’m pretty sure the Magnemite are guards to make sure people don’t tamper with the power plant.

and ha! Jigglypuff beats magnemite swarm. none can withstand the power of song!

and we run into Electrode next! apparently this power company decides if magnemite swarm security isn’t enough, they use exploding Electrodes to get their point across. What pokemon will be the THIRD level!?

oh and through the power of reused animation, Jigglypuff now sings the Electrode to sleep to.

third level: ELECTABUZZ! oh no…..and it get tricked into attacking Ash. worse.

and all this stress being put Chikorita….I think its all to make her evolve….think about, only Chikorita is battling here, she must be gaining levels like crazy.

an yes I was right, Chikorita evolves into Bayleaf!

and then Jigglypuff makes them all fall asleep. yeah, this episode was just here to evolve Chikorita.

Episode 43: Clingy Tackle-glomp Pokemon Girlfriend.
Bayleaf: *tackleglomps Ash*
*sees Ash with swirly eyes*
*seems perturbed as to the result of tackleglomping*
either your not the brightest bulb in the box Bayleaf, or your still getting used to the new body.

huh, Ash is being harsh to a pokemon for once, guess he learned from Charizard. unfortunately…..Bayleaf is not the pokemon to apply that lesson to.

oh great, an old woman that will think that Ash neglected Bayleaf or something and yell at him, I can see it coming from a mile away. *roll eyes*

oh and the pokemon attacking him too, I wish we could just skip all this get to the pat where they just get back to being friends, this is just painfully cliched that I’m not enjoying any of this part.

and huh, apparently Machoke is vain.

and wow, Brock is getting burned by Misty every two minutes here.

ok, its not as cliche as I thought.

and we solve this through the classic “save your life” method of relationship solving. kay.

and Bayleaf learns some self-control. cool. hm, I might actually want AshxBayleaf now. AshxMisty is just too classical, too….Ranma.

Episode 44: Yet Another Son Apprentice Episode.
Mmmmm…….pizzaburger….

you named your Natu……Naughty. I think if you name pokemon that, you get whatever you deserve. which is them being a disobedient little mon that doesn’t pay attention to you because you ****ING NAMED IT “NAUGHTY” I MEAN SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE HELL MAN. DO YOU HATE IT OR SOMETHING? thats like an insult! why would you name a pokemon that? Why?

oh Arceus, thats the worst pun I’ve ever heard in one of these titles. seriously, you guys don’t want to hear it. it will make your ears bleed, I’m not repeating it.

hm, the Natu could be seeing the future, but it could also easily be a hack kind of thing, due to all its ritual and pomp he makes the Natu go through. Cue Jenny in 3….2….1…(?)

your problem isn’t you confidence or anything boy, its naming your freaking Natu, NAUGHTY! names have power! what you call something influences in peoples minds how they see it! do you really want everyone who knows your Natu to see it as a naughty one!?

“that guy’s my father”- and we have another apprentice-son episode! Great.

James, its the Magikarp scammer again, don’t fall for it, resist the power of the Magikarp side… and he successfully does so again! yay. James doesn’t fall for the same scam twice.

and so it goes that the son-apprentice finally does the performance in front of a less intimidating audience. its a start for him I guess.

but really, come up with a better name for your Natu. “Naughty” just doesn’t bode well.

[ThePhantom]

Still didn't see any of these episodes. Well, at least I remember the bayleaf trait.

[Lord Raziere]

shame. those were two good Chikorita/Bayleaf/leef episodes.

oh well, on with it then:
Episode 45: I Prefer Zeppelins Myself
and so they come across a guy with a Fearow using an X as target practice. hm, another apprentice son?

oh hey, they get a Pika-Balloon! too bad it won’t last. Ash finally getting a way to get around faster would speed up his journey too much, thus allowing him to beat the Gym Leaders faster, thus allowing him more time to train for the League, thus actually making progress towards his goal! which would just be silly, after all, the series needs to perpetually be in the same pre-tournament state of getting Badges to continue for some reason…ahahahahahahahahahahahahaahaha…….sigh…

and Meowth actually wants to win without cheating for once….unfortunately Jessie and James don’t care and cheat as usual, ruining his dreams. Meowth, you REALLY need to get off Team Rocket. I’m beginning to think you’d be better off with say, being an assistant of Professor Oak or something, I’m sure he could find a use for a talking pokemon.

ah, but poor Meowth. poor, poor Meowth. he wanted to win without cheating for once. but unfortunately Team Rocket while sticking out for each other, also have a nasty habit of not caring for each other’s problems at times, like this episode. though James is the one who gets it the most often, and Jessie the second most.

Episode 46: Cuteness Sells Too.
uh oh. celebrity issues. oh, a Smoochum. meh. I guess its kinda cute, but there are pokemon that are a LOT cuter.

and so we see BRAD VANDAR, PROTO-GALLADE on the silver screen…but where oh where did all lil cu-tay’mons go?

an the guy really cares about his Smoochum. but really, I’m sure that having a Smoochum would only INCREASE his popularity. his fan base seems to be mostly squealing fan girls anyways, so the fact he has a heart enough to love a cute lovable Smoochum would probably only increase his fanbase in that demographic. it would only be boys that would deride him for having one, and immature ones at that, and they don’t seem to be marketing towards them anyways with his slim-and-speedy appearance. the exec is probably succumbing to a common masculinity media bias than anything else.

oh great, the exec guy is going behind his back to keep Smoochum away from him! now I hate him.

and yah, the manager is a jerk, and managing a boy-band? I’m pretty sure there is glam rock these days. also, I’m pretty sure all celebrities have great differences between their public and private lives. just like people seem to have different identities at work and at home.

and wow, the exec doesn’t know about Team rocket, but it is awfully convenient that JJ get to throw them out of the building for him. but with their flare for the theatricalt hey do this stage nonsense instead.

hahahahaha!
“Its all over, now I’ll have to get a REAL job!”- oh my god, I think this is outright satire of managers. this line is just…..gold..

ha! yea, try and claim credit, faux-Lex. we know what your REALLY about.

and yeah, it turns out as you expect: the Smoochum is now the co-star. awesome.

Episode 47: Wait, Why Not Just Put Coats On Them?
oh no. Pikachu, Togepi is wandering again. your going to be in for a big problem now…no its just morning.

wait….what kind of water pokemon has a drill horn? Seaking has a horn, but its not a drill…

yeah, Giovanni would actually like a Rhydon that can do the Surf thing, he does have a ground gym and goes use pokemon like Rhydon….heck, if Pokemon Origins is to be believed, he does have one, so having another that can withstand water would definitely something he’d be impressed by. I think Team Rocket actually found a pokemon that could work for their purposes. too bad this is Pokemon and they’re the villains.

guys, Team Rocket is just eating apples, don’t get up in arms about them. its not illegal to eat freshly picked fruit.

guys its so obvious that the Rhydon is on the island, you can’t figure that out?

Team Rocket should really look into investing into a more practical mode of transport. the hot-air balloon is just too slow and easily destroyed.

wow, Pietra is really courageous to grab onto the Rhydon like that.

whoa, it actually took two tries of a pokeball to catch a pokemon this time! thats a first for this anime.

and so we take an entire episode to solve a problem….that could’ve probably been solved by giving the graveler and Sandslash some coats or putting an umbrella over them. kay. impractical, but it works.

Episode 48: Hide And Seek: Airship Rules
oh no. that blimp is going to be destroyed by Team Rocket or something. Ash means Team Rocket and both Ash and Team Rocket together means that stuff like blimps get destroyed.

Its the Kecleon Caper! which means that…..this is the last episode I need to see until I can watch Pokemon 4Ever! Yes!

no, Brock, FOCUS your here to heal Pokemon, not ogle the ladies….

yeah, you could steal it Team Rocket but um….explain how you’d um….supply and recruit people for this thing again? I don’t think you thought this through, you’d need money for a lot of the upkeep, and you don’t have any….

and of course, the fatal flaw of Kecleon’s: their red stripe. they can camouflage everything but that.

wait, Vaporeon is mistaken for a mermaid? how do you even….

“we deserve everything we’re going to get”- yes Jessie. that is a thing that is true. though not in the way you intend.

and so everything is returned and we fly off to……POKEMON 4EVER!

Next Post I'll make: Pokemon 4Ever!

[AGD]

Oh no. the nerd-tiering strikes again. the eternal rain on my parade. you may think that doing things like is enabling, but all I see is concepts destroyed and forgotten because of attitudes like this, people discarding a cool concept just because of the numbers. it brings a tear to my eye every time, and it pains my heart every time this sort of thing is pointed out. it is why optimizers always discard my ideas. and there is no point to a pokemon without any offensive moves. so yeah, I'm going to say "screw that" and make whatever goddamn Smeargle I want, stop stomping on my fun! I'm going to fight people with whatever pokemon I want, so if you so much as DARE to consider to suggest discarding one of them to use Pokemon I don't like for some "optimized team" save it. :smallannoyed:

Okay, you can fight people with whatever pokemon you want. I would never deny that.

But why are you allowed to say, that there is no point to a pokemon without any offensive moves, while I am not allowed to say, that there is no point to a Smeargle with offensive Moves. Isn't it just as concept discarding from you, when you say, that there is no point in that? I had a great skarmory in Gen-5-Ubers without any offensive moves. It had Toxic, Spikes, Whirlwind and Roost.


Next Post I'll make: Pokemon 4Ever!

I remembered that as the first Pokemon Movie I didn't like. I am eager to see your opinion.

[Lord Raziere]

nope, we're not continuing the Smeargle discussion, Pokemon 4Ever to watch:


Lets Watch: Pokemon 4Ever

Yes that is right, it is the coming of the fourth movie!!!! Continuing the theme of the Johto pokemon movies being smaller scale, we will be meeting Celebi here, as well as the REAL Suicune as opposed to fake talking dream Entei. Thing is, Celebi was supposed to come from the GS Ball, but things happened and it just never came to be. Its going to be in a forest, and the real antagonist is this Rocket Hunter guy who uses machines some weird pokeball called Dark Balls.

But thats not why this movie is notable. Whats notable is contrary to the rest of the franchise where time is just an illusion, a background to the eternal adventures of 10-year old Ash, never truly progressing and only seeming to grow longer backwards as more history is revealed while the present seems a weird combination of frozen yet flowing, time travel is involved in this movie. Yup. We’re going there. Prepare to forget logic and sense and constantly repeat “timey-wimey wibbly-wobbly” because time travel NEVER makes sense. If I recall, its the first Pokemon movie that didn’t get the big screen treatment and only came out on DvD, but that might be just my memory being faulty. I imagine that American companies thought that audiences would be getting tired of them by then, so they stopped giving them the big screen/super media treatment. After all, the principle of trilogies and all that. But yeah, lets observe how Pokemon mixes its own brand of nonsense into the even greater nonsense of time travel! This is Pokemon 4Ever!

But first lets watch Pikachu screw around in a big garden for no reason.

Pikachu’s PikaBoo:
oh hey, Togepi is carried by a Wailmer! thats a very early debut for that pokemon.

and Togepi of course gets them into another side-adventure through pure innocence. mostly through everyone meeting while Larvitar sulks like a Cubone.

Togepi, your doing it wrong!

but did we really need a song for hide-and-seek? did we REALLY?

ha! Poor Sunflora, it worked so hard to camouflage it self among the sunflowers but it still got found first after the first two flower camouflage attempts didn’t work.

Sandshrew was found next. I actually like the clever way use the brick wall to camouflage itself.

Totodile was the third to be found….wouldn’t it have been better if he just didn’t shoot his water gun? but hey look: first we see of Chinchou!

but then Larvitar decides to be a **** and push the rolled up Donphan at Pikachu. what the hell man.

finding Togepi was easy.

but the game is interrupted by the lawnmower suddenly going crazy for no reason.

Donphan Vs Lawnmower! ….Lawnmower Wins!

WHAT!? does this Lawnmower have a mind of its own? is it implanted with an AI, or does it have an angry Rotom in it?

seriously how is this Lawnmower changing direction and following them as if its alive? this is scary to me, because there is no explanation for how this is possible. well. yet.

I mean look, its following them through a complicated hedge maze! no normal lawnmower should be able to do that!

wow, not even water stops this lawnmower! how much money was spent on this stupid thing!?

and so the lawnmower, natural predator of pokemon, fell to its natural predator: the tool shed, lured to it like a bug to a venus flytrap. just that prey can work together to make sure they aren’t caught by their predators in their natural environment, remember that the weakness of pokemon is a lawnmower, for it is their natural predator and unstoppable to all their attacks, but can be felled by a mere toolshed.

Toolshed > Lawnmower > Pokemon.

oh hey, Kecleon won at hide and seek! he hid so well, no one found him.

….why did we make Pichu Brother hedge-sculptures again?

and so the game begins again, but with Larvitar being the seeker, and Togepi doing it wrong again.

but just remember: just as the game may resume….the Lawnmower may someday return as well *Jaws theme play*

Celebi: Voice of the Forest:
Eh? Brock is narrating?

and so we open with Celebi being chased by a Houndoom and a Scyther. good choices, I think. at least the Houndoom is- its strong both psychic and grass.

and a young man is warned not to move when its hears Celebi’s voice while being given a loaf of bread. NOTHING WILL GO WRONG HERE I SEE.

ah, pokemon hunter. little different from JJ Team Rocket on their usual day.

and so the kid and the Celebi get sent through time….

and 40 years later, the hunter is interrogated by a new one. who uses a Dark Ball to capture a Tyranitar and turn it evil to make it destroy everything around him. oh and apparently the Dark Ball makes the pokemon very strong as well.

and we open on Ash battling a pokemon trainer with a British accent, who sends out a Croconaw, and the music starts….and Ash has REALLY bad luck in this music scene, almost missing the ferry! I’d hate to be in his position- especially if I had to jump to catch my ferries….he almost doesn’t make it!

and we see Suicune, then Oak explaining Suicune to them. and it ends with a nice bit of foreshadowing that could easily be taken a different way if you were watching this the first time.

and wow, this guy is inventive with his boat- it doubles as a hot air balloon for getting up waterfalls!

and the lady, now old, who stopped the first kid, now stops Team Ash….and her grand-daughter says hi as well.

and no one heeds the advice of the grandma. no one stands still….oh well.

and so the boy is save and its revealed that he has traveled 40 years into the future, the sketchbook and the loaf of bread being the proof. still don’t know his name though.

his name is Sam. nice to meet you Sam, how are things 40 years ago? do you have pokeballs yet? hm, Sam has the voice of Richie, anyone else notice that?

“I know how you feel Sam but….take it easy”- says the guy who risks life and limb for his pokemon weekly to monthly at the very least. maybe you take some of your own medicine Ash?

“Ash climbs like a Mankey”
“I thin Ash just evolved into a Primeape”
Pretty sure he was ALWAYS a Primeape, Brock.

and they manage to convince Celebi that they mean no harm, who then falls asleep- must be tired after time traveling and defending itself. Johto’s Mew has it harder than her Kanto counterpart.

Team Rocket shows up, does their motto…..then fails and falls.
“Do you think they’re going to be ok?”
“Unfortunately Yes”
Yeah, Team Rocket’s immortal.

and the REAL villain shows up! but, I’m confused, why does he need a big machine like that? wouldn’t a lawnmower be better? much more compact and far more unstoppable.

and Team rocket reveals that he is a part of Team Rocket and that he is apparently “The Iron-Masked Marauder”…..I’mma just call him Marauder. he is the first indication of competent Team Rocket villains beyond Butch and Cassidy.

and I like how Sam is using some weird older version of a pokeball that needs unwinding.

both the Scizor and the Sneasel get beaten easily. highest level my ass.

I guess the guide exchange thing these pokemon are doing, is kind of like a level of security- if one of these pokemon get captured, they only know a part of the way towards the lake, you need all of them to guide you towards in full.

and the lake brings Celebi back to life! wow, cool magical lake.

wait, the lake is big enough for a GYARADOS to be in it? what is it, Loch Ness?

and general Celebi being awesome and cute at the same time, psychically lifting people to fly, healing a leg, enjoying berries…..life must be good for Celebi.

“wow this is like a handmade pokedex”
yeah, it seems that the origin of the Pokedex is less of an encyclopedia and more of a picture book to easily identify each Pokemon. the Pokedex is less about learning in depth info, and more about easily identifying a pokemon so you know what to generally expect.

and we get a beautiful scene of a bunch of Butterfree flying about while Ash hopes that Sam will one day be able to get back to his own time. oh, Ash, if only you knew…

SUDDENLY: MARAUDER ATTACKS!

and he uses the Dark Ball on Celebi! Congratulations, you caught a CELEBI….with a Dark Ball you evil monster. Would you like me to insult you more? Y/N.

wait, Marauder’s shield can protect against Pikachu’s shocks yet can’t defend against a few Pidgey annoying him?

and THE ENTIRE FOREST BEGINS TO SURROUND MARAUDER. oh, you guys have no idea what your in for….

and so Celebi kicks all their asses then forms this twig-ball,sucking up Jessie in the process.

and here is….SUICUNE!

and so the twig ball becomes a kaiju twig Celebi, and Marauder proclaims that he wants Jessie to report to Giovanni how powerful he is now. implying that he has so much power that he doesn’t need to be a part of Team Rocket anymore.

no wait, screw implication, he outright states that he wants to keep Celebi and will destroy Giovanni if he opposes him, as well as potentially trying to take over the world.

and oh, the lake is befouled because of that earlier blast.

and Suicune joins the battle! the REAL Suicune, not some fake dream-Suicune!

and the managed to break the Dark Ball’s mind washing! though its not over yet….the twig-kaiju is falling apart into the lake.

yeah, it seems that the battle took a lot out of Celebi and now it looks wilted….

and so Suicune gets to do the legendary thing its meant to do! really pretty.

except it doesn’t work, and we have a real sad moment where everyone thinks Celebi is going to outright die. yeah, they said it: DIE. I’m surprised to. they actually said the word not once but twice! death is actually a thing in this! sort of. its definitely a thing to be concerned about, even if it doesn’t actually happen.

and after all mourning this is when the real bull**** time stuff happens; a bunch of new Celebi come out from all across time, and start circling the dying Celebi, then heal the Celebi to full.
“the spirit of the future and the past can time travel as well and have all come to save this Celebi”- um yeah, this is the bull**** part. if they’re from the past, how do they know that the Celebi is dying in the present? If they’re from the future, shouldn’t they not exist at all from Celebi dying in the present? either way, they shouldn’t know, unless they have some weird time sense to know when to go back in time just at the right moments to make sure that the timeline stays consistent.

and this happy moment with the lake clear and the forest safe, is interrupted by…..SUDDENLY: MARAUDER! but he gets shocked by Pikachu and falls.

and now its time for Sam to go back in time!

and Professor Oak reassures Ash that him and Sam will always be friends…and Misty afterwards realizes:
“hey, we never told him Sam’s name”
and then they forget it as they have to catch the boat. Brock just figures that Professor Oak is amazing just knows everything.

and finally we come to the twist of the film:
Oak has Sam’s sketchbook…..why? his name is Samuel Oak. Ash met 10-year old Professor Oak. which has some pretty weird implications once you think about it. it means that Oak KNEW that Ash would always get Pikachu- could explain why the lightning bolt was put on the ball, so that he would remember which one was supposed to be the Pikachu ball. it could mean that the inventions Oak made, the pokedex, the pokeball, he made because he saw them from his time in the future, or was at least inspired by them. and now you realize that if Sam died at any point during this film, the entire pokemon world would look a lot different. if Oak never lived, he would’ve never invented the devices that make modern pokemon training what it is. Ash would not have his Pikachu. people would have less knowledge about Pokemon without an easy way to identify them. in a way, with this one twist, Marauder actually was more of a threat to the pokemon world than Mewtwo or The Power of One- no one even knew that if Sam died, the entire premise of the show would be destroyed. this is the kind of insanity you get with time travel, a movie thats supposed to be smaller scale and just about this forest and its guardian is in truth about people unknowingly endangering the man who would revolutionize the world of pokemon.

and so we end with Team Rocket floating on the waters, happy and content.

oh hey, the credits have Tracey discovering the old sketchbook and seeing the pikachu-Celebi sketch. but he doesn’t have enough info to connect any of the dots. he probably just thinks that Oak is lucky enough to sketch Celebi.


and overall, its actually pretty good as usual, the time stuff, eh, it has some issues, but every time travel thing does. it is the first Pokemon movie to have no talking pokemon in it, and the antagonist primarily be a human though. just remember the Doctor Who Mantra: “timey-wimey, wibbly-wobbly” wait…..I didn’t make any Doctor Who jokes in this! uh, Oak is a Time Lord! trainer hats are cool! wow, that shrine must be a broken TARDIS! doesn’t even do the SPACE part right! Celebi: The Doctor’s starter pokemon. um…come on one more….oh!
Evil Celebi: EXTERMINATE!

yeah, I’m disappointed in me to. not just for the fact that I didn’t remember, but that the jokes I came up with were so bad. we’re all disappointed.

really though, Celebi is pretty much the best part of this movie. its just so adorable and awesome in its own way that you root for it no matter what and find the part where Celebi is captured by the Dark Ball heart-wrenching. Suicune is cool, but nowhere near the awesome that Celebi is, which is good because thats who the film is supposed to be about.

I guess in retrospect there is one little problem left: why didn't they just go hunt down Marauder after the first time they healed Celebi? well lets look at the situation: at that point, Team Ash had no idea what the dark balls could do, and were used to Team Rocket villains being incompetent flunkies that constantly failed. Marauder at that point looked just like another Team Rocket villain with a big machine that could be dispatched with a few attacks, and that even if he gone around the forest in the machine, he has a limited amount of pokemon he could actually use so, eventually his pokemon would get tired out. in short there was no reason for Team Ash to assume that Marauder would grow into as big of a threat as he did.

[Traab]

I wish the movies were canon and here is why. Its the only time ash seems to be moving towards his goal of being the greatest pokemon master ever. All he is in the various tv seasons is a pokemon trainer. He is better than some, worse than others, and no matter how many leagues he fights in, it doesnt change much about him except his lineup. In the movies though, he saves the world, befriends tons of legendary pokemon, does things that by all rights should make him famous all over the world.

What IS a pokemon master anyways? We have gym leaders, we have league champs, we have all sorts of strange and unusual pokemon competitions like beauty contests and such, does Ash basically have to keep roaming the world in a never ending circuit till he can win every competition ever? What does he have to do to be a pokemon MASTER as opposed to a skilled trainer?

[Lord Raziere]

What IS a pokemon master anyways? We have gym leaders, we have league champs, we have all sorts of strange and unusual pokemon competitions like beauty contests and such, does Ash basically have to keep roaming the world in a never ending circuit till he can win every competition ever? What does he have to do to be a pokemon MASTER as opposed to a skilled trainer?

....y'know, thats actually a good point. what IS a pokemon master? it seems to more be a term that Ash made up rather than anything official. but if we were to be technical, "pokemon" would all pokemon, and "mastery" would mean "complete competence within what you choose to be competent in.". so "pokemon mastery" if we're being completely technical and literal about this, the term should mean "complete mastery of every single pokemon ever discovered in all forms of competition including legendaries"

which is um....an incredibly high bar all things considered. I've got lots more pokemon than Ash and I wouldn't consider myself a pokemon master. heck, catching every single pokemon ever discovered wouldn't be enough to qualify, thats the start. then you'd have to train each and every single pokemon to their greatest potential, and win every single possible pokemon competition in the world. by that definition, not even RED qualifies as Pokemon Master, because he never captured Mew....or any of the other pokemon in all the other regions. if Pokemon Mastery truly means being the best at all pokemon ever, its a title thats impossible to attain.

so lets try setting the bar a little lower, is a League Champion a Pokemon Master? if they aren't, they're pretty close- they have diverse teams that are often the toughest fights you can possibly have, they've beaten a lot of Gym Leaders and the Elite Four, judging from the games their pokemon are tougher than some legendaries...but they're not called Pokemon Masters, even though they are probably the position closest to being one.

Ash keeps losing right at the tournaments so....does winning a tournament mean your a Pokemon Master? did we ever actually MEET someone who won a League Tournament? Is there stuff you need to do AFTER winning the tournament to become one? its just so unclear. is being a Pokemon Master just some ideal that Ash is aspiring to rather than any concrete position? we're so lost in the journey of getting there that I'm no longer sure that there is a destination at the end of it. I know that a big part of the genre that pokemon is a part of, that the journey is more important than the destination- that you need to walk a road to experience the hardship and challenges to be able to have any hope of holding your own at the destination- but this is ridiculous! it seems there is NO destination to any of this, just more journey, because the destination given isn't all that well defined or elaborated upon.

I'm beginning to think that the writers think Ash actually achieving his goal would be like people actually escaping from Gilligan's Island or something. like, somehow achieving the title Pokemon Master would be the end of the anime, when there are so many more stories to tell than just Ash's story, and even if they wanted to keep focusing on Ash, there is no reason why all these challenges and problems would stop just because Ash has a new title under his belt, or why he would stop traveling.

I mean imagine: Ash becomes a Pokemon Master! Hooray! How does this change the world?
Does it stop people trying abuse legendaries to their own ends? No!
Does it stop people challenging him for the position? No, in fact he'd probably get more challengers and he'd have to train even harder to keep his position as one.
Does it stop him from traveling around? No? as Pokemon Master to keep his title he'd probably have to check out new pokemon to see what they're all about so he doesn't become blind-sided.
Does it stop there being mysteries about pokemon we don't know? No.
Does it stop Team Rocket from trying to steal Pokemon? No.
Does it stop random environmental problems or pokemon raging out of control? No.
Does it stop Ash from constantly having to prove himself? No.
Does it stop Ash from getting new pokemon because he wants them? No.
Does it stop Ash from learning about pokemon in an endless journey? No.

and so on and so forth- Ash actually achieving his dream, would change absolutely zilch about the premise. Heck, you could have an entire pokemon series about a guy who is ALREADY a pokemon master who has to constantly fight to prove that deserves to keep the position and have cooler higher powered battles that way, and nothing would be different.

Meaning there is NO reason why Ash shouldn't have already attained the title by now. He could've become a Pokemon Master in Kanto and all this would still work. Unless there is some sort of logic that the creators/writers have that I'm missing.

[Traab]

I think the biggest part was included in the original theme song

I wanna be the very best
Like no one ever was
To catch them is my real test
To train them is my cause

I will travel across the land
Searching far and wide
Each Pokemon to understand
The power that's inside


It implies that his goal includes training all the pokemon from around the world till they are as strong as they can be and until he becomes "the best" Im guessing best trainer. However, that doesnt mean he has to train every pokemon up to and including legendaries and defeat every tournament ever. It means he has to do better than any other trainer ever has at that. He has to catch and train pokemon better than anyone ever has, and defeat more trainers than anyone else. This is something he could honestly do well at if this was real life and not a show.

For example, he could choose to stay in the indigo league, master his pokemon while traveling around to catch all the ones in the country, until he is able to stomp his way through the tournament like a natural disaster. Boom, step one is done. He has achieved a part of his goal by catching and training all the local pokemon and winning the tournament, preferably in a walk. Might take a couple extra years to get that good. Then he moves on to the next league and repeats the process. The indigo league now treats facing him in a battle as a losing proposition, time to make the orange league feel the same way. Eventually, his reputation will start preceding him, and that is when the real victory starts to happen. He will be Ash Ketchum, Champion of the Indigo League, Victor of the Orange League, and a half dozen other tournaments. He will become known for his accomplishments, because you can only win so many nationwide tournaments before you become famous. At that point he will have enough practice and skill to concentrate on catching them all everywhere, and using the local tournaments as a place to confirm he has trained the local pokemon well.

By the time he is in his twenties he will likely have a vast collection of high level pokemon from around the world, and an entire room full of trophies and plaques from his victories, and it will be up to him to determine if he is done. Or he could just keep roaming the world, conquering league after league till he is ready to retire. Hell, he might eventually setup his own league, or at least gym. I could see him being like the orange league, basically, you get the badges you need and you get to face him in a battle. If he learned his lessons properly, the entire point of the Ketchum League would be about balance and adaptability. None of this "Lets go to the rock gym and fight rock pokemon!" No, it would be, "Lets go to the Gym and see what pokemon I have to fight this week?" Because really, what does it prove beyond your ability to type trump when you fight a guy who uses one type of pokemon and openly advertises that fact ahead of time? Nah, for his league you gotta have a well balanced team of pokemon capable of handling a wide assortment of opponent types. Thats the REAL mark of a champion.

[Lord Raziere]

yes I know, that would've been awesome!

and it still wouldn't change a thing about the premise. or any part of the show really, aside from actual progress being shown. we could still have all these seasons and regions, we could still have Ash doing all these plots, it would still work. the only question is: why aren't we getting that again?

Because no one seems to know why we aren't getting that.

[Traab]

yes I know, that would've been awesome!

and it still wouldn't change a thing about the premise. or any part of the show really, aside from actual progress being shown. we could still have all these seasons and regions, we could still have Ash doing all these plots, it would still work. the only question is: why aren't we getting that again?

Because no one seems to know why we aren't getting that.

I have a theory. Its basically fear of power creep ruining the show. So long as ash is a moron still capable of sending a caterpie out to fight a pidgey when he has a freaking pikachu RIGHT THERE ON HIS SHOULDER, then they can still keep the formula going. In any reasonable world, ash would have gotten a lot better at battling by now. He has fought hundreds of times, with almost as many pokemon. But if he was truly showing the skill he by all rights should have by now, the show wouldnt easily stay as a silly charming kids show with a lesson of the day as ash and crew deal with lunatics shooting pokeball launching bazookas at them all the time. It would have gotten far more serious most likely, and have to be rearranged entirely to show the upcoming leagues and trainers being actually more capable. As of right now, they are basically all the same difficulty wise, they just have different lineups for gym leaders, and a few new rules from time to time. Ash could have gone to any of these other leagues first and likely done pretty much the same overall. This makes it easy to have the series go on forever. Ash never grows up, there is no progression outside of the league itself, and every new season hits the reset button as he goes somewhere new and magically seems to forget everything he learned over the last tournament.

If he actually grew as a character, that would mean there almost had to be an end to the show. You can only improve so far before it becomes like the setup I mentioned, where battles are a bore, because he wins them all and its all about spotting and catching new pokemon. And that would get boring quick. So it wouldnt matter how popular the show was, if he had real progression, he would hit the end of the road eventually. Or worse, he stops getting better and cant move past wherever he currently is, forcing him to give up and end the series then. I mean, bleach and naruto style animes aside, there is usually an end cap on how good you can get at something.

[Lord Raziere]

well even then, if they really wanted to keep it going on that level, just. get. a new. protagonist. the videogames do it all the time, there is a lot more stories out there than just Ash's, this is all perfectly continuable without actually changing the premise. sure the formula works, but will eternal stasis really keep them going forever? something needs to change sooner or later...

[Traab]

Ah, but eventually everything does change. New pokemon, new battle types, new companions. The only thing that doesnt change is that ash is the main character and he is on his quest to be a pokemon master. Everything changes, it just does so gradually while sticking to the winning formula. Sure they could set the show up differently, but then you would have a different show! They wanted it to be this way, and clearly they made one heck of a good choice. I mean, it has been going on for like, 20 years now. I think its probably the most commercially successful franchise to come out of japan at this point. It has so many tv series, films, games (both video and card), manga, etc, that its insane.

[ThePhantom]

Ah this movie, well since time travel is Celerbi's thing, of course it would show up in the movie. Time travel is always a confusing thing. I think they handled it well enough.

[Lord Raziere]

Ah, but eventually everything does change. New pokemon, new battle types, new companions. The only thing that doesnt change is that ash is the main character and he is on his quest to be a pokemon master. Everything changes, it just does so gradually while sticking to the winning formula. Sure they could set the show up differently, but then you would have a different show! They wanted it to be this way, and clearly they made one heck of a good choice. I mean, it has been going on for like, 20 years now. I think its probably the most commercially successful franchise to come out of japan at this point. It has so many tv series, films, games (both video and card), manga, etc, that its insane.

sigh. I can't deny that. one just has to hope that someday some side series will spring up exploring a more grown up pokemon (THATS NOT FREAKING POKEMON ORIGINS!) will come. or something.

or I could search out the fan-fics, or even make my own. I'm pretty sure that I know enough about Pokemon by now to not just play a hypothetical game, but GM it- or even design advice for others on how to run one. I pretty much grew up with Pokemon after all.

but I've dawdled enough on this, I've got to finish JLC so that we can get into Master Quest. last....few episodes of JLC, next post!

[Traab]

Ugh, pokemon fanfiction. I stumbled into some very disturbing, and at times ugly places. There is an entire fandom, for example, dedicated to turning every pokemon into a big breasted female humanoid that needs sex on a regular basis from their tamers. And thats the group that bothers to anthropomorphize the pokemon before having sex with them first. /shudder

[Lord Raziere]

Ugh, pokemon fanfiction. I stumbled into some very disturbing, and at times ugly places. There is an entire fandom, for example, dedicated to turning every pokemon into a big breasted female humanoid that needs sex on a regular basis from their tamers. And thats the group that bothers to anthropomorphize the pokemon before having sex with them first. /shudder

I'mma channel Lord Gareth a little and do this:

http://cdn.meme.am/instances/500x/60392638.jpg


Episode 49: Why We Have Lawful Good People
wait, Brock can tell if someone is a girl through freaking DIVER SUITS!? wow. even Tex and Samus are not immune to Brock’s amorous advances. he knows all!

oh great, Misty is starstruck for this Joy as well. Ash, no wait….Pikachu, you must be the sane one once again in this situation!

wait what. the Joy who takes of water pokemon….is afraid and hates water pokemon. wat. I don’t. how.

she doesn’t let her professional job get interfered by her fear though. I’m kind of feeling unsure about this like Misty though. I mean sure it seems she is competent, but disliking an entire type for no reason? I mean sure, Misty can’t point fingers since she is afraid of Bug pokemon, but I myself never found any specific type all that unlikeable as a general rule, just specific pokemon.

huh. this Joy does her duty no matter what he personal preferences are. wow. I have respect for her, even if I don’t exactly like her strange preferences. I do admit, this is why we have things like Lawful Good characters, and why traditions and duties that promote the right things can be good- its just that, personally as a non-conformist, non-traditionalist guy, I don’t see many traditions and duties that do that. Joy does the the right thing- no matter what she prefers.

Episode 50: Magical Morality Oasis
“I’m cutting this one short”- for the opening theme right? Team Rocket breaks the fourth wall agaiiiiiiiiiin! *ting*

and Cyndaquil gets a Rudolph bump on its nose then goes flying into the desert. poor Cyndaquil. please be found….

and Cyndaquil and Meowth go to this oasis where they are healed by a Miltank with a some healing move- I think Heal Pulse?

but Team Rocket gets hypnotized from entering.

wow, this situation got complicated fast. Team Rocket is here and trying to take th epokemon, the oasis pokemon don’t like any humans, Cyndaquil wants to get back to Ash, Ash wants Cyndaquil to come back, Meowth is showing signs wanting to stay and its just one big mess waiting to happen.

and then Jessie and James call their pokemon back because they aren’t obeying, Meowth tries to persuade them not to disturb the Oasis…and fails of course.

and thats the episode. um….I find it kind of weird that all the pokemon think its not right to not disturb the oasis? I guess its going for all of them having morality or something, but it just comes off as Pokemon being angels that you should always listen to when it comes to the environment or something. I just dunno, Team Rocket’s pokemon didn’t have problems disturbing other environments like this in the past, why would they suddenly have qualms about it now? whatever, I’ll just sing:

Magical Morality Oasis
Had a Cyndaquil with a ruby nose
and if you saw this episode’s aesop,
you would say it blows…

Episode 51: Easy Come, Easy Go Olivine
and we’re finally at Olivine!

title screen: FIGHT FOR THE LIGHT! FIGHT FOR WHAT IS RIGHT! WHAT IS THE PALADIN WAY!?
Paladins: THE LIGHT!!!

…..thats Jasmine? for some reason I don’t remember her looking like that. I’m confused.

THERES the real Jasmine! those signature pigtails can’t be missed!

good, Janina is taught a lesson.

and soon they go to the lighthouse to check when she will be ready to battle Ash. if I remember from Gold correctly, I had to go across the sea to some fighting Gym before facing Jasmine.

because the Ampharos needs medicine, right.

and Janina actually uses Onix more competently than Brock. Brock, you just got out-Onix’d by someone younger than Ash. I feel nothing but pity for you.

goodbye Olivine, that was quick!

Episode 52: Chuck, the Flabbiest Fighting Gym Leader Ever
and so we get the medicine! that was fast.

and now we see a guy fighting a Machoke….BY HIMSELF. hi…..whats his face, fighting gym leader guy.

oh god, they’re hugging while crying near a sunset, I’m having Gai-Rock Lee flash forwards…..if this Gym Leader starts spouting about the Springtime of Youth or something, I swear by Arceus that if I ever play a Johto remake game, I make sure to punish him with a Psychic type at least 10 levels above all his pokemon in revenge.

oh right thats his name. Chuck. he is apparently “the leanest (he is fat) meanest (he openly compliments his Machoke they cry while hugging each other) toughest (he tires more easily than TEAM ASH while running) trainer in the land!”…….right.

“you should have no trouble beating that flabby old husband of mine” wow, a Fighting Gym Leader thats out of shape. epic fail.

and Poliwrath is beat and their down to one packmen at….

and heh, I bet Bayleaf would love to Body Slam Ash any time ;)

heheh, Team Rocket is being kept in check with food.

OH **** A CROSS CHOP! THATS A SUPER MOVE!

did you just redirect the Submission in some weird poke-jujitsu!?

and so the final episode of JLC is Ash earning a storm badge! good place to end the season! and Team Rocket actually seems happy to stay at the Fighting Gym. maybe they should stay there, they seem to be properly motivated to do so, and they’d get trained up to be tougher. but we won’t be staying, next its off to the Whirl Islands!

yup, the next season is Master Quest! the longest Johto season of them all! but, its only 60 episodes, so that means we're past the half-way point, Region-wise.

[ThePhantom]

More episodes that I didn't get to watch. Well, at least the Chuck episode fits well, his wife complains about his lack of working out is in the games as well. And yes, the Joy's work continues to be a good thing.

[Lord Raziere]

Before I get into Master Quest, I'mma take a moment and instead listen to some music. specifically, music I think fits a few characters of pokemon:

Ash Ketchum: Forever A Nub (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ojWGCeXebsQ)
Brock: Mambo Number Five (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x61CT0tDmAY)
Misty: Ranma 1/2 First Season Opening (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Syd129Vla0Q)

What Team Rocket Thinks They Are:
Double Trouble (Team Rocket) (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8KCwiRj2c4k)

What Team Rocket Actually Is:
Jr. Troopa Theme- Paper Mario (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lWi67T9mNXM)

and this one I think captures the trollish, playful side of Mew, because every I hear it, I can picture Mew appearing before some random trainer and taunting them into trying to catch her, starting this great chase where the trainer like, throws out their pokemon, throws every pokeball he has and Mew just dodges every single attack and pokeball until they are out of both and the trainer crashes his bike from not paying attention to where he is going, and ends with Mew chuckling a little then flying away:
Catch Me If You Can (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WwUVjMBbkqY)

Ash's Pikachu: (I'm only half-joking with this one)
Lavos Theme (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mrv9n7JQC_M)

Gary's Theme:
You're Not Me (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W4v6Spjw3yg)

Richie's Theme:
No Matter What (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h820qlMOi7c)

[Lord Raziere]

Lets Watch: Pokemon Master Quest

Hurray! Final season of Johto! Hurroh, Longest season of Johto!

Episode 1: Welcome to the Whirl Tournament
oh god MISTY! WHY ARE YOU LETTING TOGEPI WALK ALONG THE RAILING LIKE THAT!? IT COULD FALL! INTO THE OCEAN! ITS NOT SAFE!

and cool, new theme song!

and Team Rocket are stowaways, so Team Ash are just walking away from them already. it just goes to show how weak and lame Team Rocket are that Team Ash will just do this without a second thought even though they know that Team Rocket will try to force a battle out of it anyways…

Jessie, don’t you mean Mirror Coat?

oh hey, thanks Lugia! nice save!

“there’s nothing more comforting than having a strong Tentacruel around!”- Misty.
in bed.

its the return…..of Elm! he saved them.

and lots of exposition about the Whirl Cup and Whirl Islands. kay.

its shadow should be enough to tell you that its a Lugia….that you saw before. or are we doing a convenient forget-fulization of Pokemon 2000?

and yeah yeah, Corsola saves the day, and we go off on this side quest to compete in a water pokemon tournament. not much to say about this episode really.

[ThePhantom]

Hmm, I know this arc, but I don't remember this part. Hmm, well at least I know what's coming up is going to be good.

[Lord Raziere]

yeah, I'm starting to remember the Whirl Cup slightly, a little in my vaguest recollections. Misty does catch a Corsola, and I remember that one of these episodes has Team Rocket stating they've blasted off a certain amount of numerical times, and certain thing about a certain legendary pokemon that I know will be in the Whirl Islands and Team Rocket....and not just JJ-Rocket....

Episode 2: EPIC PIDGEY ASCENSION!
and so Misty is starting to get a little….obsessed with catching a Corsola….lets hope she doesn’t go Yandere or anything…

and we go to Pudgy Pidgey Isle. it lives up to its name.

…..I think the Pidgey trying to get to the sun is kind of stupid. I’m pretty sure there is a Greek myth about this. genius guy and his son invent gliders or wings or something, son tries to fly towards the sun, sun burns wings, son falls down and dies. can’t remember the names though. not you shouldn’t try to shoot for the stars so to speak, just….try to be less literal about it.

oh, the outer atmospheres, bah, they’re not all that great. just a bunch of wind and thin air probably…. the ground however, there are a lot of more interesting things there…

and whoa, the Pidgey goes all way to the point of seeing the moon and stars…..greatest feat of flight…..EVER.

and it even inspires all the other Pidgey to start flying. cool!

[Mystic Muse]

I don't remember the dad's name, but the guy who flew too close to the sun is named Icarus.

[ThePhantom]

Darius was the father's name. And I do remember this episode, didn't reach the sun, but getting that far, being just a little pidgey, that is incredible.

[Lord Raziere]

Yeah, think they designed the episode with Icarus in mind? like they decided that maybe flying so high would actually be really awesome as a refutation of that old myth? if so, kudos to them, I'm not all that fond of old myths anyways.

Episode 3: Like Lantern Fish, But Cute
oh hey a Chinchou.

oh hey a Chinchou parade celebrating their breeding grounds. ahem:
Chinchou: thank you humans! We are glad that you hold a parade in honor of our mating rituals! It is most unfortunate that you do not breath underwater, otherwise we would be able to actually show you this glorious dance of reproduction that we make!

….I’m pretty sure Ash learning from the Chinchou of how to navigate by instinct would only lead to them constantly finding themselves back in Pallet Town….

good thinking from Ash there.

and Dayton suddenly falls! whoa. what a twist.

and Team Rocket attacks again in 3……2……1…..pit trap!

and we end the episode with Misty once again wanting a Corsola just out of reach.

[Traab]

Yeah, think they designed the episode with Icarus in mind? like they decided that maybe flying so high would actually be really awesome as a refutation of that old myth? if so, kudos to them, I'm not all that fond of old myths anyways.

Episode 3: Like Lantern Fish, But Cute
oh hey a Chinchou.

oh hey a Chinchou parade celebrating their breeding grounds. ahem:
Chinchou: thank you humans! We are glad that you hold a parade in honor of our mating rituals! It is most unfortunate that you do not breath underwater, otherwise we would be able to actually show you this glorious dance of reproduction that we make!

….I’m pretty sure Ash learning from the Chinchou of how to navigate by instinct would only lead to them constantly finding themselves back in Pallet Town….

good thinking from Ash there.

and Dayton suddenly falls! whoa. what a twist.

and Team Rocket attacks again in 3……2……1…..pit trap!

and we end the episode with Misty once again wanting a Corsola just out of reach.

I think the moral of icarus was moderation. Fly too high, your wings melt (even though thats not how the world works) Fly too low and your wings get wet and you flop into the water. Possibly listen to your elders! "Now son, stick to a middle path, too high and the wax will melt, too low and the water will soak your wings." "Aww dad, you arent the boss of me!" /promptly dies.

Not sure what that might have to do with pudgy pidgey. Chances are it was more meant as a tale of reaching for the stars, always trying to achieve your goals or some such thing. There were a few of those out there iirc. Pokemon wanting to do different things and refusing to give up on their goals or some such.

[zimmerwald1915]

Darius was the father's name. And I do remember this episode, didn't reach the sun, but getting that far, being just a little pidgey, that is incredible.
Icarus's father was named Daedalus.

[Lord Raziere]

next up:

Episode 4: The 214th Episode Anniversary
we see that Yellow Rock Isle is aptly named, that Corsola horns can be made into beautiful pieces of art, and that people in this island are partial to yellow pokemon. kay.

and Psyduck somehow has a sixth sense for danger. guess being psychic type has its fringe benefits, even if your Psyduck.

oh come on! that title isn’t even original! we already a Caper for Kecleon, now your doing it for Corsola!?

and yep, according to Team Rocket this is their 500th heist. uh. I’m not sure about that. unless you’ve been doing crime offscreen, there have been only 81 (Kanto) 36 (Orange Islands) 41 (Johto Journeys) 52 (Johto League Champions) + 3 Master Quest episodes which = 213 Episodes, and you only do one crime/heist per episode, with only rare instances where you try twice. therefore the best estimate of how many times you have done this is approx. 213 times, as if you really done this 500 times, you’d have to be doing a heist about 2-3 times per episode. at the rate your going, its far more probable that you’ll achieve the 500th anniversary in late Sinnoh if my estimation is correct

and James gets eaten by Victreebell again *takes a sip of water*

214th time they blasted off. *takes a sip of water*

nope, 215th time you’ve blasted off, Team Rocket. you have 285 episodes to go before you get to that point *sip*

an Misty catches the Corsola. considering the moves it knows, its a good choice.

wait “long-standing dream”? yeah, according to the narrator, having an obsessive desire for three episodes apparently counts as a long-standing dream in this anime. whatever. at least Misty won’t be obsessive over it anymore. I know that I get a little obsessed with catching certain pokemon at times and can’t move on before I get it…

but yeah, Team Rocket's numbers of how many times they've done this is way off.

[ThePhantom]

Well, they were doing crimes before they met Ash. The other counts being off is just likely rounding and wanting big numbers. That and most people wouldn't be able to quite figure out how many times they were blasted off.

[Lord Raziere]

yeah, I don't think I've ever been most people. time to pick up speed a little.

Episode 5: Sunken Feather Matey!
and so they miss their boat until tomorrow. great.

but they get an adventure to find a Silver Wing to help find Lugia instead. hm.

yeah but Team Rocket, by letting them find the things your looking for, they will always be nearby to stop you from taking them. if you found where it was yourselves, you could get it before they ever know your there and get away with it.

oh hey, apparently Magikarp DO have a use other than Gyarados evolution. must be truly exceptional magikarp to achieve that!

…..uh, guys…..Pikachu, electricity and water don’t mix….especially if Ash and the girl of the week is in the water….

ugh, nevermind, the silver wing is gotten.

Episode 6: Marcellus, Parentless Octillery Collector Kid
and so we get to the Whirl Cup!

and so a Remoraid evolves into an Octillery!

uh, Ash, just to go sleep, tomorrow will come in a flash.

wow, Ash and Misty breeze through the two rounds like nothing. but Marcellus still has troubles….

so the Octillery is feeling lonely because the Remoraid hate it now that it evolved…..what. that isn’t logical! pokemon know about evolved forms! even if they think its not their evolved Remoraid, they should be welcoming of one of their evolutionary line!

uh, Team Rocket thats just enough time for Marcellus to run back and get Team Ash to kick as your ass…

and all the remoraid evolve at the end. kay. um…..just a question. where are Marcellus’s parents? because he doesn’t seem to have any. Think he is some rich boy who inherited his wealth? how did he lose his parents? what if he will someday be…..The Goddamn Octilleryman?

Episode 7: I Don’t Know, Here Is Some New Water Types
so we watch a beautiful girl shine a light from the sun through a staff-marble. yeah yeah real pretty, Team Rocket’s going to try and steal it y’know…after probably getting sidetracked by a lot of people wanting food.

and Ash exchanges Bayleef for Kingler. as we see from Oak’s end, this is a bad idea all things considered. unfortunately this implies Ash’s decision to start over entirely in Hoenn was probably even worse than this. I mean, just imagine Ash leaving Bayleef for so long through Hoenn…and all the other regions as well!

Brock:
“Misty you seem so excited! don’t worry about ignoring me, I’ll just be here hanging out with Pikachu and Togepi”
….passive-aggressive much, Brock? I know you don’t get to battle as much but man, thats not your main thing anyways.

hm, this Christopher looks like another Ash clone. but with glasses and a rod.

underwater approach? Ash you’ve made a mistake right off the bat! you should’ve made Totodile jump up on one of the columns!

see? its controlling the water environment now! nice going Ash.

and Kingdra gives up its hiding advantage to attack. idiot.

da hell, how did two pin-like attacks cause an explosion anyways?

and the Qwilfish gets caught in Corsola’s horns and gets owned. meh, I never cared much for Qwilfish anyways.

“y’know Ash, the Misty battles reminds me of your style of battling”
….Brock, are you trying to imply Ash x Misty shipping here?

oh and next match is Ash Vs. Misty. Water types Only. Final Destination.

....yeah I got nothing, aside from Marcellus being oddly parentless yet rich enough to have a big mansion and lots of Remoraid in tanks. thats why I think he is some sort of weird rich kid who will someday become octopus batman.

[Traab]

Rich kid left home alone by neglectful parents is something that pops up a lot in anime. There is no way to be sure without them specifically mentioning it, but it generally follows three paths, rich kid abandoned by parents off doing the things ultra rich parents do, parents vanished at some point leaving him alone with the servants, rich parents murdered ala batman.

[ThePhantom]

Well, Japan has a slight history of parents supplying the cost for kids to live close to the school they wanted to attend. It might be something like that. Now, this arc I have some memories. And while Team Rocket might be distracted, they are also earning money, which is need for bigger robots.

[Lord Raziere]

I'm feeling particularly down about Nintendo's decision to keep trainer customization a Kalos-only thing today. claiming that its to keep the regions unique or something. thats so dumb. even if its not a main feature, we're in an age where customization in videogames is more and more becoming the norm. you don't just put a feature in a game then take it out for no reason these days especially when people like it, especially when RPG's in general- and Pokemon is an RPG- these days offer customization options for appearances in every single game, its not even a side-benefit or anything, its rapidly becoming an assumed default for the genre, and they don't even have the excuse that Final Fantasy and similar games have of telling a specific story about a specific character, because the trainers are often generic speechless people with no special appearance or story about them anyways, so why take out the feature that enhances the entire point of having a generic silent protagonist- the ability for the player to fill things in? it makes no sense.

Really, I hope I find a way of contacting them to tell them what I think, I'm not angry, I'm just really disappointed that they're making a decision thats so illogical and counter-productive. or that they change their mind. I'll continue playing but, I hope with all my heart that they decide to continue the trainer customization thing into the next generation and beyond. But! time for more episodes.

Episode 8: The Victory Of…Some Guy
Jessie, your an idiot. you should’ve distracted them by threatening to steal something ELSE. or better yet, gone out into town to steal something valuable while they all guard the obvious thing.

and……BEGIN! Poliwhirl vs. Totodile!

and Totodile loses, too confused and such.

but Kingler with its sheer power makes a great comeback and slams Poliwhirl into a defeat!

now I’m going to predict the next moves: 1. Misty will try to send out Corsola. 2. Psyduck will come out instead. 3. Misty will be stuck using Psyduck, who 4. will use confusion to defeat Kingler.

one, two and three are correctly predicted.

also, why is Pikachu in a pink coat, when it used it to be in a red one?

Ash, you idiot. you should’ve used Crab Hammer. not Vice grip, now the headache will worsen and then- you lose.

and my prediction was true. sigh. I hate it when I predict things too well. I like to be surprised.

well Bayleef is back! good.

oh frack! a Gyarados! Misty, be careful, these things are badasses!

and Jessie is beginning to realize the flaw in her plan…

Poliwhirl is taken out in ONE BLOW. Misty, you better hope that you have something that will withstand more than one, cause your Poliwhirl just got whorfed.

the Gyarados goes down to one spike cannon? weak.

and now for a Chinchou….not a good choice against Corsola the rock type.

and Misty loses in short order. kay. neither get the Mystic Water. also, this entire attempt for Ash and Misty compete in the Whirl Cup? *sings: COM-PLETE-LY POINTLESS!*

wait, even Trinity didn’t win? wow. just wow. Trinity is just as pointless. she is another Richie. Hooray for the victory of…..Some Guy I guess.

Episode 9: Stupid Senile Diglett Farmers
yes yes, keep talking about the experience made them learn a lot or something, I don’t care, I didn’t see them learn any valuable lessons.

and both Team Rocket and Team Ash fall into holes. also apparently Meowth puts his mark in these holes in some improbable hope that thousands of years from now, they will suddenly become some idol thing when discovered. considering that this is so improbable and you won’t be around to appreciate the love, whats the point, Meowth? and here is the thing: you know the Pyramids of Egypt? the Pharaohs constructed them so that they will always be remembered. thing is….I can only remember the Pyramids themselves, and have no idea of who built them off the top of my head. such monuments only prove that someone built something and that it was great….but often so great, that WHO built them is forgotten.

oh hey, a Diglett.

oh hey, lots of Diglett! but we still don’t see their feet. 0_0

…..they’re giving this feast because they’re running out food aren’t they? I’d think twice before stuffing myself Ash….

….these two girls are sounding creepy in how synchronized they are. O_O

you need a rocket? oh crap you made the Team go into their motto….

and the two Teams team up to take down a team of Diglett thieves. there were too many Team’s in the sentence.

so, Team Ash are stuck releasing the Dodrio because Team Rocket doesn’t like taking risks. um. guys? won’t Team Rocket just try to steal the Diglett for themselves?

120….is ten times Jessie’s age? Jessie is 12? I was under the impression that she was more like 15 or 17.

Sue and Rita you traitorous dogs. what the hell.

poor Team Rocket, they had to get blasted off to make sure everything went perfectly.

and now to silver isle….and yeah, this episode is stupid. don’t humor senile old folks by pretending to be bandits, thats stupid, your stupid. just….stupid. there is no point.

Episode 10: The Only Luck Is Luck That You Make
oh hey, a con artist! haven’t seen one of those since Ecroutique, your trying to sell silver wing jewelry eh? that won’t last long for you….

and this weird artist guy apparently is not good with sculptures….hm and is working on something that he neglects his health for….

and Team Rocket is going to fall for the fake wings aren’t they. great.

five greats and a grandfather. thats….uh hm….if we say about 50 years for each great…. plus another 50 years for the grand…..this story is taking place 300 years ago, approx.

and Jenero is going to ask the girl to marry him…..ok, how is Team Rocket going to interfere in this?

and Team Rocket thinks lucky charms will shield them. they’ll buy into anything won’t they?

and he proposes and they go on their way….to find Sparky. thats right, Ritchie is finally returning! along with Team Rocket. not JJ-Team Rocket but the big one….

[ThePhantom]

spike cannon is a rock type, Gyarados is water/flying, so that move is super effective.And yes, this arc didn't have much. But then again, if one of them won, they would be holding it over the other for quite some time, which would throw things off.

And now we begin one of the few good villains arcs. That's something to be treasured.

[Lord Raziere]

and now for:

The Rocket Lugia Trilogy:

Episode 11: Yay! Pokemon 2000 is Canon!
Hey Richie, how you doing? here to be better at being Ash than Ash again?

and Richie researches more than Ash as well. another tick mark in his favor.

and this swimmer kid guy is definitely a bad liar. its the shifty eyes. he is hiding the kid Lugia.

and Richie is the only one who is even aware that the guy was acting suspiciously, while Team Ash as a group just takes it at face value so much that they don’t even notice how bad his excuse was. but then again these are the idiots that keep falling for Team Rocket’s bad disguises.

and its Big Rocket! with Professor Namba, I think thats his name looking in.

and JJ-Rocket is here as well…going for Pikachu as always. just goes to show out of touch they are with Big Rocket. it can be argued that they’re not even apart of the organization anymore, I mean their uniforms are white, so they’re not even obeying the dress code, Giovanni never calls them up to actually make them do anything anymore, and if I remember they receive a Delibird that informs them that they’ve been fired during Johto at one point.

“no way! a Lugia just like back on the Orange Islands!”-James
HA! see!? Pokemon movies are canon! if they weren’t, why would Team Rocket remember it? they wouldn’t, thats what, they would instead be saying “no way a Lugia just like in the movies!” if they were breaking the fourth wall.

and BC-Rocket is here again! they are pulling out all the stops to capture Lugia here!

and someone just rams their ship out of nowhere!

and holy mother of pokemon, Bulk’s name is said right twice! its a miracle!

and Ash remembers the movie as canon to so….MOVIES ARE CANON! but it brings up the complicated question of why there is a young Lugia, why there is more than one Lugia and so on and so forth. perhaps Arceus designed the legendaries to be able to reproduce just to make sure there would be backups in case one dies? I mean…what if Moltres or Zapdos died and the weather went out of control? a new Zapdos would be needed to get things back to normal.

and there is a tense moment where the mother is looking at them threateningly….but thankfully it passes and Lugia just touches down to nuzzle her child. probably to keep Silver close in case they try something.

and so JJ-Rocket’s plan is to take credit for BC-Rocket’s plan. now your thinking with scoundrels!

no wait the new plan is to steal the Lugia that Cassidy is stealing. between Namba, BC-Rocket, JJ-Rocket, Team Ash and Co. and Lugia herself, this is gonna get complicated real quick in the many sides that are fighting here.

guys, that mecha-Lugia is so obviously fake that I’m face palming at you not immediately realizing it even with your low wisdom scores.

and Richie once again is the first to realize that something is up. proof that Richie has at least a positive Wisdom score compared to Ash.

and BC-Rocket and JJ-Rocket fight each other for the Lugia, Team Ash tries to rescue it, but BC-Rocket gets away with Silver anyways.

Episode 12: Motherly Rage Imposes -4 to Wisdom Checks.
oh yeah, the young Lugia is gone, parent Lugia wasn’t around and doesn’t know where it is, and doesn’t know about Team Rocket so the conclusion it will make is….ASH RUUUUUUUUUUN!!!!!!

and isn’t attacking them, but she is causing a storm in her anger…

Namba: muahahahaha! My evil plan to enrage the mother Lugia and thus make her attack rise thus making it harder for us to catch her is working!

Richie: “please Lugia! please trust us one more time!”
*Lugia Aeroblasts*
How did you THINK she would respond, dumbass!? she is not going to trust you after thinking you took her child away.

but in the end, Lugia gives them a chance. probably only one though. getting more than that from a Legendary is probably asking too much.

wow, Richie figures out that Team Rocket is underwater. this guy has some serious investigation chops here! I think the Jennies should be hiring him as a private investigator, or a detective.

what, Richie has no water pokemon?

just when they find the base, it suddenly starts rising upwards to capture the big Lugia…

and now they have to find a way to destroy the cage before Mother Lugia sees it. unfortunately they probably won’t be fast enough…whelp that plan failed instantly. whats Plan B?

so….anger headbands? U Mad bro?
Houndour: YES I MAD.

and Poor JJ-Rocket wants to get a switcher plan going but it fails before it ever gets off the ground….wait….how did they get out of the base where they were locked tight in a room filled with water, drowning? I see a plot hole! but then again, this is JJ-Rocket. they’re immortal reality warpers. they probably just plot-teleported out.

and Team Ash has been captured by Big Rocket. probably separated from their pokemon. great, this is more bleak than the last time they found themselves sinking into the sea after a big Team Rocket operation. probably smart of the Rockets to cage them- don’t want these kids going to the authorities about this.

Episode 13: Namba the Rage Darwinist
Prof Namba, uh are you sure you should be talking to the prisoners? you have minions if you want people for listening to your evil schemes and mad cackling, and you really shouldn’t explain anything to people who are your enemies if thats your trying to do, they’ll just come up with some idea to get out and stop you, y’know? your just giving them ideas. but this is standard villain stupidity so…whatever.

“nature’s purpose is to serve all of mankind, nothing more and nothing less!”- huh, the villain actually has a retort that makes sense from a villainous standpoint: this viewpoint is probably pretty much the viewpoint of any social darwinist, as people used to think back in victorian times as nature like a garden, something they lorded over and explored as they pleased, that it was their destiny to conquer and use as they see fit.

and Namba outright believes that he is superior to all pokemon- again, I can see what thinking he is running on. I bet there are a bunch of villainous humans in pokemon world who believe they are superior to pokemon and nature because they have tools or something. don’t worry though, Pokemon isn’t anti-science: it showed a bunch of scientists doing real good before Namba came along and he is pretty much the only example of a mad scientist in pokemon I can think of so far.

Namibia: now I will enrage the two most powerful Pikachu that ever lived to show how great my invention is to the prisoners! THIS CANNOT POSSIBLY GO WRONG! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

and wow, JJ-Rocket comes up with a good plan: cause chaos by letting loose Team Ash, then steal the Lugia themselves while everyone is distracted! after all, its not as if you can expect Team Ash to take on all those rocket grunts….there is only one flaw with all this: Meowth and James might literally just be pushing random buttons…

wait, how does Namba know that JJ-Rocket broke into Lugia’s room!? plot hole ahoy!

third plot hole: how did Namba get here before Team Ash!?

oh I get it, Namba is like using some sort of artificial Frustration kind of thing.

OH FRAG, LUGIA IS LOOSE! and its not happy….

and both JJ and BC Rocket blast off TOGETHER! in a chorus! that might be the first and last time they ever do that.

and Richie and Ash actually use their heads to take down Namba. cool.

and we finally get to reunion and Lugia trusting them again.

and it all ends well, I just realized that young Lugia sounds a lot like Lapras. oh hey: think Lapras are related to Lugia? they seem pretty similar in some respects.

and thats the end of the Rocket Lugia Trilogy! and this definitely one of the best parts of Pokemon. sure its mostly monster of the week stories, but every time they do something bigger it turns out well. unfortunately those times are rare and fleeting. wish they’d happen a little more often.

and overall? a good three episodes. had conflicting agendas, more moving parts than usual, a real threat of Lugia not trusting humans anymore, more challenges to overcome, if more of pokemon could be like this, it would be a great improvement to this anime. unfortunately, these moments are few and far in between, at least I still have the movies, and that season where JJ-Rocket becomes competent to look forward to...

[ThePhantom]

Yes, these were good episodes. Quite nice. However, if your'e thinking of the season that I'm thinking of, you'll find out that having competent JJ is a bad thing, or at least that was my opinion when I was watching it. There's a number of issues in that season, but we'll get there when we get there.

[Lord Raziere]

Episode 14: Worst. Flight. Ever. On Bad Idea Airlines
so let me get this straight: Team Ash misses the boat, so some old guy convinces them to go on an airplane ride to Olivine City with him as the pilot with them doing his chores as payment, because the old guy is reminded of his young days of trying to be a pokemon master, and partly because he has no customers. just….getting that clear.

oh and the co-pilot is a sleeping old Noctowl. WHAT A GREAT PLAN GUYS.

in a plane he forgot to fuel up initially. WHAT A GREAT START

oh hi Team Rocket, nice going on the balloon in a storm thing, by the way, old dude, why did YOU see the storm coming hhmm??

how are hearing Team Rocket over the great distance and strong winds? and the fact that they’re inside a plane? those things are really quiet. really soundproof.

NOOOOOOOOOO ITS JIGGLYPUFF. WHY JIGGLYPUFF WHHYYYYYYY……

and yeah, this old dude is crazy. his plane is falling apart, he is lost in memories, his noctowl is asleep…letting this guy fly you to Olivine City was the worst idea ever! Ash, you should’ve just called the Gym to say that you missed the ferry and that you’ll be there the day after tomorrow like a normal person, its not as if the Gym is any hurry after all, they can reschedule!

Ash, your idea to climb outside the plane actually tops the previous idea in how facepalmingly bad it is! your in rare stupidity form today!

ok, everything seems to be going well…..if….improvised…

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! JIGGLYPUFF HAS LANDED ON THE PLANE! JIGGLYPUFF HAS LANDED ON THE PLANE! THEY’RE ALL DOOMED! DOOMED TO SLEEPY DEATHS! It was never meant to be….

the Jigglypuff goes away an they all wake up! yay…

oh hey the Noctowl finally wakes up. about time.

they evade the cliffs just barely and the old guy comments “just like old times”….

…..you mean he experienced this kind of disaster ROUTINELY!? argh! this is still the worst idea ever! worse than the time Team Rocket flew them in a run-down dirigible. yes I’m going there! its worse than that. even counting the fact that they crashed the dirigible both times they got on it.

Episode 15: Strike A Match, Ignite The Scene
……Ash, your not really falling for a giant wobbuffet machine that promises something are you? I mean its so obviously a Rocket plan that even your Wisdom penalty should see through it.

and Jasmine comes in with her Steelix to save Pikachu to show off her Gym Leader strength.

did…..Brock just act like a pokedex but for girls? Brockedex? I don’t know whether to find that funny or creepy…

flames appear in Ashes eyes! oh no!
Ash: Burn it! BURN IT ALL!! The world shall burn to Ashes like my namesake, ahahahahahahahahaha!

now its time for……JASMINE, SIXTH GYM LEADER OF THE JOHTO LEAGUE!

Jasmine is acting a lot like Brock in this match: two pokemon only, a small sphere pokemon before sending out a big snake….

and the Magnemite is defeated! yay. but Pikachu is tired, Steelix is much tougher and fresh to go….

and Pikachu actually manages to hold Steelix for a while, I’d thought he’d be owned instantly, but….cool.

and now Cyndaquil takes the field! alright! and Cyndaquil’s dodgy defenses are proving useful against a big pokemon like Steelix.

Ash I got it, FLAMETHROWER THE HOLE!

no, he Flamethrower’s the sandstorm instead. but still awesome! too bad Cyndaquil didn’t evolve after this tough battle, it would’ve been a fitting moment for her! and the Mineral Badge is get, now we only have two to go!

Episode 16: Bulba-Bye Bye!
suddenly: trash can attack?

oh good, a truck to get to Ecroutique faster so we can spend filler only on getting to Mahogany Town!

aw, there is still only five badges in the opening credits, but six in the title screen!

ah, a Bulbasaur centric episode! good, some time away from Team Ash and such might be a good change of pace.

and Bulbasaur is at first unsuccessful….but then suddenly blasts his Solar Beam and suddenly everyone doesn’t want to screw with him! hooray for the threat of solar annihilation! lets just hope there isn’t a second solar beam user around or we would have mutually assured feinting!

and Bulbasaur begins to make them work together to solve the problem! awesome!

and whoa whoa WTF……did…..you just kill off Bulbasaur!? BULL. I call bull. You did the black-and-white freeze thing and now your doing the memory thing….bull, you don’t have the guts, Bulbasaur is alive you idiots, don’t pretend otherwise!

see! he is alive! just fine! you fakers! didn’t fall for it for a second!

oh right…..I remember now. Ash catches a Snorunt right? guess Bulbasaur finally had to make way for the new guy.

So, after going on the worst flight ever, then showing just how awesome Cyndaquil really is, we say goodbye to Bulbasaur! but of course, he and Charizard actually do stay on standby unlike certain other pokemon that leave forever....

[ThePhantom]

Hmm, I only saw the first one of this set. I liked it, it continues the theme of that Ash should avoid air travel, it almost always ends in a crash.

[zimmerwald1915]

Hmm, I only saw the first one of this set. I liked it, it continues the theme of that Ash should avoid air travel, it almost always ends in a crash.
Unless it's a plane ride between regions. Those mostly work out okay.

[Lord Raziere]

....but the blimp he got on in Bulbasaur's episode experienced no problems at all.

......a fluke. I'm pretty sure the next air transport Ash gets on, it will only be disaster after disaster.

which reminds me: a pokemon fan fic once remarked on how disaster follows Ash so much that there should be an Absol constantly following him. I'm inclined to agree.

Episode 17: Actually, There Are Three More Still Undiscovered
an they re-meet that Eevee Girl, and the Eevee is now an Espeon! cool.

and Brock shirks at the thought of saying one girl is more beautiful than the other. he is wise.

um, Team Rocket, why are you trying to teach people how to dance? are you even dancers?

no, just a scam to catch those Eeveelutions.

and Jessie wants the Espeon as well. better cut your losses and run right now, I bet you could find an Espeon somewhere else, or lay low until they give up or something, or are tired out from searching, don’t stick around where you can get your ass kicked.

and Ash pulls on Brock’s ear for once! good, your learning a thing from Misty, Ash!

“told you the fifth pokemon was bad news”- Meowth
yeah, Meowth gets to say he told you so, because he saw this coming a mile away. but you didn’t listen. I could kinda get used to Meowth being the one who always gets to say he told you so to Jessie and James, it seems more and more he is getting aware and tired of this.

and so we say goodbye to Zacora. or Sakura. or I dunno, the pronunciation is weird. I prefer Glaceon as my favorite Eeveelution anyways.

Episode 18: I am Eusine. Legendary Expert. Prick.
uh-oh. the bell is tolling. Suicune or Ho-oh will soon return. my bets on Suicune. Ho-oh is too…..hermit-ish to show up now. seriously, the only pokemon that shows up less than Ho-oh is Porygon-2 and Porygon Z, and thats because both of those pokemon can’t be shown because of that stupid health problem with the original Porygon episode…

…..oh frag, Team Rocket you did NOT just break a priceless ancient bell of mystical properties that is important to the local culture. no wait you did, figures you would…

and this Eusine is kind of a prick, even if he is a legendary expert. he doesn’t believe Ash when he says he saw both Suicune AND Ho-oh.

and the battle is interrupted by bug pokemon going out of control and covering the entire town in webs, all because Team Rocket was idiotic enough to break a freaking bell.

and Suicune comes in to break things up! Team Rocket gets blasted off by trying to catch Suicune….

but Eusine seems to have other plans for Suicune, and fails at capturing him. you just saw Team Rocket get blasted off for trying that, screw you dude.


Episode 19: Pokemon Speed Master
Extreme pokemon eh? cool. Ash doesn’t seem to like it though.

and Ash changes his mind on the sport as soon he knows Gary will try to win it. of course.

and we get good backstory on pokemon eggs and daycares and such.

Mr. Mime can make clones of itself? you mean substitution?

and Team Rocket tries to screw things up as usual….

but Ash does the same clever thing twice to keep in lead, and WINS! oh yeah, Ash, maybe you should focus on racing? you keep winning pokemon races. like you lose at tournaments but races you always win. I think your true calling is “Pokemon Racing Master” and the fact that you finally TRULY won against Gary at something in direct competition is all the sweeter.

no wait not a Snorunt…..a Phanphy….

but yeah: why doesn’t Ash realize that he should try for Pokemon Racing Master instead? thats what he seems to be really good at. this is a good episode, because it shows Ash at his best: competitive, going out of his way to do the right thing, but still winning because of his own skill and will to succeed.

so we got an episode of Eeveelutions again, an episode where we meet the big jerk and idiot for a person who is supposed to be an expert on legendaries and Ash winning a race again! YAAAAAAAY! Pokemon Racing really seems to be where Ash really shines...

but yeah, what the hell Eusine? your not stupid....except apparently, you are, because Team Rocket tried catching Suicune and you didn't learn from their mistakes. some person who respects the balance between humans and pokemon...

[zimmerwald1915]

which reminds me: a pokemon fan fic once remarked on how disaster follows Ash so much that there should be an Absol constantly following him. I'm inclined to agree.
Have you considered the possibility that Ash is, himself, an Absol?

[ThePhantom]

Eusine's whole character is based on his obsession with Suicune, he's kinda bound to that. And its nice to catch up on characters we've met before.

[Lord Raziere]

Have you considered the possibility that Ash is, himself, an Absol?

....why would I consider that? 1: he is human. 2: Absol don't actually bring disaster, they warn people of disaster. so 3: how could an Absol warn people of disaster if they look like a human? there would be no reason to think disaster is coming. so please explain to me how in Arceus's left eye is Ash an Absol?

Episode 20: Detective Jenny Is Useless
“you sound more like a mother hen than a pokemon trainer”
….Misty has a point….this combined with Ash’s occasional crossdressing makes me wonder…..things. probably reading too much into it though, onwards!

oh god Team Rocket, I just realized that stealing that egg is probably the equivalent of kidnapping a child or something. what the hell guys?

wow, that was ridiculous amounts of luck for lightning to just strike Team Rocket’s robot-mecha out of nowhere with Ash not even seeing it.

and Team Rocket of course sneaks around….but Togepi wakes up, because its still an infant itself and are easily awoken, Metronome or loud cry in 3…..2……1…..

and Metronome into a teleport that teleports the egg into the wilderness where it gets picked by Kangaskhan. aaaaaw great.

and we call in this faux-detective Jenny. Brock and this Jenny are completely delusional! maybe they ARE perfect for one another…

no wait, Jenny accuses Brock of taking it. yeah, this just keeps getting stupider and stupider as Jenny the “great detective” is doing everything wrong! though its kind of hard to figure out Togepi using metronome and ending up with a teleport. its a move that leaves no trace and is completely random, so…it’d probably be a stumper for any detective.

Brock what the hell, why did you start to confess?

and Nurse Joy actually is better at spotting clues! yup. Jennies are useless.

*facepalm* The Jenny accuses ASH of being the criminal!
Jenny: DERP DERP, HE CLEARLY STOLE HIS EGG FROM HIMSELF! HE IS THE CRIMINAL!

and Jenny’s theory as to how the egg got into Kangaskhan’s hands is more likely than what happened, but completely wrong.

but the egg is returned so…its all good I guess. but the episode is a crowning example why I consider Jennies useless. all this one did was randomly accuse people and jump to conclusions!

[Traab]

Isnt that all jenny EVER does? It just doesnt get drawn out that much in most episodes. She shows up, proclaims they look suspicious, then drives off after realizing she is a moron again.

[ThePhantom]

Yah, its a pity, but the majority of the Jennies are bad at their job. One or two are good, but the rest are not.

[Lord Raziere]

@Trab: Thus, Why Jennies Are Useless.

Episode 21: Phanphy Rolls Into Town
it hatches into a Phanphy alright! and aw, great Team Rocket is here again! the real bringers of disaster…

and they cause Phanphy pain in the first few minutes! oh my god, things really screwed up this time…it could be traumatized of electricity now. but isn’t Phanphy a ground type? shouldn’t it be immune?

and Pikachu is feeling really guilty about this. understandable.

and Team Rocket tries to take advantage of Phanphy against Ash…succeeds but doesn’t share anything with Phanphy and locks it into the cage with Pikachu. this backfires because Pikachu comes up with a crazy scheme to make the cage tumble down a cliff.

ASH. USE TOTODILE. OR BAYLEEF. THEY CAN HELP HERE. JUST SAYING.

and Team Rocket comes in again. just blast off already!

and thats done, now we can look forward to Phanphy actually being useful.

Episode 22: Why Don’t You Just Be Normal Trainers?
…………………

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………..

….……
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……………………………………………………………

…

.. …Why did we start off with a weird football Team Rocket scheme again?

its just a device for Team Rocket to have a big discussion on why they keep losing, from blaming everyone through democratic vote, to pointing out they have more trainers to pointing out how Team Ash has more pokemon, but Team Rocket has more secret weapons but those weapons never work….

“if thats the democratic way, I’m voting republic”-Meowth
no! don’t it Meowth, it will just lead to the dark side….

and Team Rocket is scouted by a talent person who thinks they are not apart of Team Rocket. OUCH. thats got to hurt.

and the old lady pretty much reveals that in the records of Team Rocket, JJ-Rocket has been removed completely. as in, they’re no longer Team Rocket. they’re just Jessie, James and Meowth now.

“who am I?”- Jessie
“what shall I do now?”-James
“the pain. the shame.”-Meowth
ok um…..take it from the top: your Jessie, you can become a normal trainer and actually work hard, and your ashamed of getting kicked out of a criminal organization?

Giovanni, you used “evil” in that sentence way too many times to be healthy.

and yeah, just Team Rocket’s luck, their chance to finally pay back their loan and its Team Ash again whom they cannot beat.

wait wait what, there are other Teams called Team Jet and Team Helicopter? what do they do, pokemon smuggling and pokemon racketeering?

and Team Rocket is back in Team Rocket, with a huge debt, which includes a fruit smoothie. nothing has changed really. and really, I don’t actually consider them apart of Team Rocket either, even after this episode. they’re just people in debt to Team Rocket who always fail. well there is the Delibird, but….it has its own agenda. this is just here to introduce a new running gag of Team Rocket being incredibly deep in debt. do they ever even pay it off?

but um….receptionist girl, I’d forget the revenge thing. Your never getting paid back for that fruit smoothie.


Episode 23: A Vixen Ghost Story
another mountain eh? wonder if we will find the Snorunt now? seriously, I remember Ash getting a Snorunt at some point, was I wrong about it being in johto and I have to wait until Hoenn instead?

wait. Brock. Ninetales. Pretty girl in a kimono….NOOOOOOOOOO! ITS THE BROCK GETS HYPNOTIZED BY A NINETALES IN A MANSION EPISODE!

and Team Rocket stumbles across a room full of nothing but cookies. normally this wouldn’t make any sense and would be the first tip off to the mansion’s true nature, but it makes perfect sense with my knowledge because this is all an illusion.

and Misty sees the second sign, the no reflection in the mirror of the Lakoko…

and Brock FALLS RIGHT THROUGH LAKOKO AND DOESN’T THINK ANYTHING WEIRD IS HAPPENING. he must be so deep in denial and desperation that he wants any kind of girlfriend, even if its an illusionary one.

and Ash finds out that the original owner of the house…..wrote his diary 200 years ago. which starts to edge this into creepiness and maybe even a little into horror. the Ninetales has been so long for someone like her master to show up again….

and yeah, the Ninetales is free! whatever.


and I like the Team Rocket episode out of all these for some reason. it really shows what Team Rocket's place is in the actual organization and how in reality they are barely Team Rocket members at all- they are in their teenage years after all. they seem more like confused teenagers holding onto this weird identity they have than actual members of the organization, and that attempts to live up to it has only driven them further and further into debt. its like they're some sort of teenage biker gang or some person trying to be "gangsta". and really it explains why they keep doing their motto all the time- they showing off how "bad" they are. and really this is what I like about Team Rocket: there is much to analyze about them because of how broken and dysfunctional they are, while Team Ash are just three boring exemplars of morality.

I mean, lets really put Team Rocket together: they come from various different backgrounds both poor and rich, and forced into their situation because of incredibly unfair circumstances, the one thing they thought they were good at, crime, now they can no longer seem to get right because they keep running into the same three people over and over again- you'd think they would learn to start walking in the opposite direction of Team Ash by now- which gave them troubles with their boss to the point where they haven't reported back for months and got removed from Team Rocket because of it, and now they're trying their hardest to keep the only identities they believe they have while trying to repay a massive debt that they will probably never get out of. there are just so many ways you can read into them sociologically, psychologically, culturally, economically...sometimes I think they deserve their own series or at a least fan fic where the spotlight is focused solely on them and their problems, but that could be my bias talking.

[ThePhantom]

Funny enough, Jesse and James were in a biker gang for a bit, and they were quite formidable there. As for the debt, you are forgetting that when a tournament comes around, they focus on earning cash. They just need to hold on long enough and they'll be fine.

As for the ninetails episode, I thought it was nice. A variation of a tradition Japanese ghost story, which does fit the pokemon universe quite well.

[Traab]

Though iirc, kitsune stories were less ghost stories, and more shapeshifting fox women who would sleep with men then flee once their tails were discovered. Im sure there is a lot more nuance to it than that, but I think thats the general gist of it.

[ThePhantom]

That's some of the stories, others are that of a guest, usually a monk being invited to a mansion for a party, only on the morrow to see that it was a ruin and his host was a fox.

[Lord Raziere]

Though iirc, kitsune stories were less ghost stories, and more shapeshifting fox women who would sleep with men then flee once their tails were discovered. Im sure there is a lot more nuance to it than that, but I think thats the general gist of it.

Ha! Brock only wishes he was that lucky. :smalltongue:

Episode 24: Why You Don’t Abandon Pokemon
huh, a Tyrogue eh? I’m pretty sure its the closest any other pokemon will get to being like an Eevee. evolves into all three Hitmon’s.

….ah, the Tyrogue is a thief and leader of thieves. so much for martial honor.

and this guy is Chuck’s protege….what his name? Kyo.

P1 Grand Prix- oh you mean the tournament of fighting only pokemon that Ash won in one episode with a Primeape he just caught? yeah, I don’t consider it that big of an accomplishment.

hm, the Tyrogue seems to have a heart…doesn’t want Togepi hurt.

wow, Kyo’s a badass, takes real guts to grapple a stampeding Tauros.

and the Tyrogue was abandoned….ooh, while the Tyrogue seems to be caring to pokemon of similar size to itself, it doesn’t like humans all that much. I wonder if Charizard would’ve turned out like this if Ash never came along.

“how do you battle against that?”
….does everyone just suddenly have amnesia regarding double team or something!? you seen this move used many times before! countered it, even!

wow, Onix gets to be useful AND blast off Team Rocket! thats rare! *takes a shot*

and Kyo is badass enough to beat a fighting pokemon by himself using his own skills. maybe thats how the first trainers got started? they fought so well against the fighting pokemon that they earned the fighting types loyalty and respect, who then fought for them to rally all the other pokemon around them.

but yeah, I like this episode, because it shows what could happen if a pokemon is abandoned- and this is just a little Tyrogue. imagine if a more dangerous pokemon got abandoned. imagine if Charmander survived but was no longer loyal and started torching things. that there is a big threat, even without evolution.

Episode 25: The Shape Of Things To Come
whoa, they actually became aware enough to become randomly paranoid of Team Rocket traps…I don’t know whether to be afraid or proud…

….wow, Team Rocket, you messed up your classic dug hole trap…

stupid Wobbuffet, always providing just enough weight to make thing worse.

an now they’re inside some hallway underground. weird. could it be ruins?

ok lets parse this “if its not cloudy today, it should be clear unless it rains”- yep, double-talk.

I think this girl is using the false front of prophecy to relay actual weather forecasts in a way they will believe…

and the Xatu apparently can’t look into Jessie’s past all that well- its so complex and convoluted that it makes one faint. guess while James and Meowth’s pasts are clear and tragic….Jessie’s is mostly played for laughs as its clear that she tried a lot of things but seems bad at all of them.

Delibird shows up again. kay.

and the Xatu save them, and say that their prophecies are not to rule their lives but guide them. cool. never liked fate dictating my actions. I’m free, always will be.

Episode 26: Broadcasting the Sickest Beats
why are the pokemon feeling si-HOLY FRAG GRENADE, ITS THE RED GYARADOS!

thats right everyone: we’ve gotten to the Red Gyarados episode.

and this guy….I think his name’s Lance? where have I heard his voice before? it sounds familiar….and Lance is apparently this “G-man” or Ranger-before-ranger, in addition to his Champion title, and urges them to not interfere with his work. hm.

and JJ-Rocket actually gets sent by Big Rocket to capture the Red Gyarados, hey nice to see JJ-Rocket being given a chance for once. even if its a horrible chance.

and Team Ash decides to go back anyways because they figure that Team Rocket probably has bigger plans than just one Gyarados.

oh, nevermind, JJ-Rocket is just bait…

and Team Ash gets captured, and its explained by the rocket scientist Sebastian that there is this evolution inducement wave that forces Pokemon to evolve that they’re trying to make into an army, however only the Magikarp evolved into one, while making all the other Pokemon sick or sleeping. well, it is known that pokemon only evolve under certain conditions, so perhaps the wave they’re emitting only works on Magikarp? like, if they wanted to evolve a different pokemon, they would have to figure out an entirely different wave frequency or something, because otherwise the wrong waves just make all the other pokemon sick- its like trying to put in the wrong key into the lock, its not going to unlock anything.

but even then, a wave that evolves Magikarp and makes all other Pokemon sick is still a pretty threatening weapon. imagine an army of Gyarados steamrolling over pokemon after pokemon while they’re sick from the waves, even if Team Rocket doesn’t achieve their true goal, they still have something dangerous on their hands.

Episode 27: Rage Against The Rocket
“the tranquility of Lake Rage was shattered-“
well with a name like that, what did you expect would happen?

oh and the big guy in the jacket is named Tyson.

and JJ-Rocket sets Team Ash free with their bumbling. nice to see we can always count on them to screw up things in the heroes favor.

and the base is destroyed, the Red Gyarados is now unleashed, wreaking havoc everywhere, and everything is generally going out of control.

and Lance and Tyson face off! two Fearows vs. one Dragonite, and the Fearows are LOSING! thats a Pseudo-Legendary at work.

and the Red Gyarados hyper beams the grunts trying to capture it. you grunts didn’t say the line! it wasn’t a proper blast off! get back down here and blast off again and say “Team Rocket’s Blasting Off Again!” like the members you are!

and then JJ-Rocket takes the Red Gyarados for themselves! not over yet!

and JJ-Rocket gets blasted off, Tyson gets jailed, but the Red Gyarados is still raging on and will soon get to the city….

*Ash gives a speech about not hurting anybody*
Gyarados: **** YOU HUMAN! I GOT HURT, NOW EVERYBODY GETS HURT! HYPER BEAM!

and here is the ice Gym Leader….oh and he is a complete and utter cynic about pokemon and isn’t friends with them. GREAT.

an Lance captures the Red Gyarados and promises to take good care of it. good. at least some good comes out of this.

the villains hm they’re not as good as Namba. Namba had a philosophy, or at least the beginnings of one, these guys, Tyson and Sebastian while competent, we never heard why they’re doing this. oh well. also: why does Team Rocket cause rage so much? Raging Lugia, Rage head-bands, Rage Lake, Raging Gyarados…Raging Mewtwo…their efforts pretty much always cause Rage in Pokemon of some sort. if they weren’t named “Rocket” they’d be named Team Rage.

and its a good two-parter. not as good as the three part Lugia story, but still better than usual.

I liked the Red Gyarados two-parter, we got to see Lance himself in action, we got to see Big Rocket in action again, we got to see the Red Gyarados from the games- which I personally won't capture, because probably everyone catches that, its a devalued shiny. much rather get a real shiny that isn't overdone, like maybe work towards breeding up a...I dunno really. but I'd do it myself, probably one of the pokemon I like. but! we also got a hint of whats to come with the next Gym Leader...

[ThePhantom]

Another good villain arc, through shorter than the first. That's nice, and of course Lance wrecks them, elite four members/champions streamroll the opposition. And introducing Pyrce, who for some reason gets a bit of a Mr Freeze attitude in things other than the games. Its a bit strange that.

[Lord Raziere]

Episode 28: The Pryce of Entry
aw, the episode title beat me to making an ice/Pryce pun….gonna have to go with price/Pryce puns then!

….this is pretty accurate I’m guessing. older adults are more concerned about their health than kids these days because of the technology gap, so the adult has more energy and fitness than them.

Ash, you chose exactly the wrong pokemon for this: Dewgong is Water/Ice. granted, you could’ve chosen Cyndaquil instead and it still would’ve been bad but at least that pokemon has more battle experience, choosing Noctowl wouldn’t be overly bad but not overly good and would have some tactical options with it hypnosis, Totodile would be resistant to its water attacks, and then we get to the two best options he has for defeating Dewgong: Bayleef and Pikachu. Dewgong is weak to both Electric and Grass, but Bayleef can be easily defeated by Ice attacks, while Pikachu would be able to defeat Dewgong without any type weakness worries at all! the pokemon to beat Dewgong is right in front of you, and you send out the newbie with a type disadvantage against not only ice but water as well! you LITERALLY ignored the best option in front of you, as well as all the other good options you had, to send out a pokemon that still has a lot to learn against a probably merciless Gym Leader that could take out the type of pokemon the Phanpy is EASILY! I’m calling it: this is an epic fail. Ash literally chose the worst possible option out of all his pokemon. why? “Phanpy has been doing well lately!” PAST RECORDS DOES NOT PREDICT FUTURE SUCCESS IDIOT.

cool, Ash’s pokemon says them from a fall.

and here is where we hear the story of Pryce….how a Piloswine left him, how it gone out to get an herb to heal his burns and how he mistook it for abandoning him. and how the Piloswine is reunited with him and how his heart of ice melts.

just like any other heart of ice melting story, whatever. its done well though. now on to the actual Gym battle!

Episode 29: The Incredible Immovable Piloswine
oh come on, TWO episode ice/Pryce pun titles!? now your just pushing it.

and Pryce is changed of course…

now its time for….PRYCE, SEVENTH GYM LEADER OF THE JOHTO LEAGUE!

First pick is Cyndaquil, of course. problem is, Ash, that Dewgong is water type! you should’ve saved your Cyndaquil for a better pokemon and just used Pikachu- see my earlier “epic fail” comment.

but wow, he actually pulls it off. including making a fire type go underwater to pull off the victory. thats just crazy.

Team Rocket, I don’t think they like you disturbing their sleep, and how would catch anything but the Shellder using butterfly nets anyways?

Piloswine Vs. Cyndaquil- Begin!

and Cyndaquil goes down in two moves. pity. I thought it was going evolve into Quilava this match. oh well. time for Ash to start improvising cause his fire type is down.

Piloswine Vs. Pikachu. Begin. hm. pretty sure that Piloswine is also a ground type, so not a good choice. Bayleef would be better in this situation

wow, Ash tries tactic after tactic against Piloswine, pours more and more power into it, and the Piloswine just keeps on standing back up for more. that is one tough pokemon, I can see Pryce uses this pokemon, its a freaking tank in more ways than one.

….and Pryce just gives up. ok, thats….technically not a pity badge, so I guess it works.

but yeah, that Piloswine was like some sort of immovable object to Pikachu’s unstoppable force. fitting considering that Pryce is like one of the most obvious foils to Ash in Johto.

Episode 30: SHUT UP MISTY!
and we come across three Oddish who look hurt. now what?

so this scientist guy has figured out this bizarre place where one wind makes Gloom evolve into Vileplume and another makes them evolve into Bellossom. that is bizarre.

so, true amounts of an evolution stone can add up to equal a whole one eh? that would explain a lot. wild pokemon simply evolve by stones through the wind dust. humans just do artificially with chunks of it.

and nice callback to the Salvayo Weed and stun spore.

so their fighting is about the shadow of the tree. just cut down the tree then!

the conflict is building up. Ash why don’t you capture some of those pokemon? its not as if there is going to be any shortage of Bellossom or Vileplume in this area, and they’re going to fight over something pointless anyways, might as well fight for your cause. at least capture a Bellossom.

and the scientist says that Vileplume will because of a high windstorm by outnumbering the Bellossom and tries to look on the bright side that by doing so, peace will be restored because the Vileplume will be the most powerful pokemon in the area.

but Misty points out that this doesn’t seem fair. and all this is really turning out to be a metaphor for war and how the imbalance of resources and manpower cause conflict, as well as asking how peace can be attained. the tree’s shadow represents the ever shifting balance of food back and forth between the two pokemon group, the changing winds represent new recruits and new strength to refuel the war as one side suddenly gets enough power to challenge the other, showing how war seems to perpetuate itself through arms races and food shortages. as well how peace is usually attained: one side wins, makes itself more powerful and rules over the loser.

but the wind isn’t so predictable: it keeps changing direction so that the sides are equal so that the conflict continues raging on and the balance of power doesn’t settle.

and Team Rocket represents war-profiteering.

oh, those pokemon there just have an identity crisis. cool! transgender metaphor to!

wait. Misty. you are NOT-
“but wait, you didn’t become vileplume because of the wind, its because you were MEANT to be Vileplume, and the Bellossom were meant to become Bellossom,t here is always a good reason for why things turn out!”
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFRAAAAAAAAAAGGG YOU MISTY. I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU SAY, PEOPLE ARE NOT “MEANT” TO BECOME ANYTHING FROM SOME FATE/DESTINY STANDPOINT, THATS JUST HOW THINGS ****ING HAPPEN. IF PEOPLE DON’T LIKE HOW THAT TURNS OUT- LIKE SAY, BEING IN THE WRONG BODY, PEOPLE HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO CHANGE THAT, BECAUSE IF THEY WERE STUCK IN A BODY THEY DIDN’T LIKE, A FORM THAT THEY WOULD RATHER NOT HAVE- WOULDN’T THAT GRATE ON THEM, WOULDN’T IT JUST CAUSE THEM PAIN, EVERY SINGLE DAY, KNOWING THAT WHAT THEY SEE IN THE MIRROR….IS NOT WHAT THEY SEE INSIDE OF THEMSELVES? GOD. FREAKING. DAMMIT. my opinion of you has been lowered Misty. but wait, she isn’t done:
“whether your Bellossom or Vileplume, its a wonderful gift that you’ve been given!”
NO! STOP RIGHT THERE! I’M PRETTY SURE THERE ARE PEOPLE THAT WOULD RATHER HAVE A DIFFERENT GIFT NO MATTER HOW WONDERFUL!
“its up to all of us to make the most of our gift whatever or whoever we are.”
YES. LET ME MAKE THE MOST OF A THING I DO NOT WANT BECAUSE OF SOME WIND, OR OTHER HYPOTHETICAL CHANCE THING WHICH CAUSES A BINARY DIFFERENCE IN PEOPLE, THAT I HAD NO SAY IN. MY GOD MISTY. THE IGNORANCE YOUR DISPLAYING IS STAGGERING.

“and don’t forget you started out all the same as Gloom and before that Oddish”-Ash and Brock
ahahahahahahaha, screw you guys to.

and so it ends with…..them blasting off Team Rocket and not actually solving anything but all the pokemon dancing and being happy together somehow anyways….

SCREW THIS EPISODE.

Why? because it had such a good metaphor going, it was exploring something well for once….then it just screwed itself over by giving half-assed bull resolutions to it all! I know its a kids show, but GAAAAAAH!! its stupid! Its stupid! Just…STUPID! this episode didn’t actually solve anything it just ended with “your all special yet the same!” that doesn’t solve war at all! and the way Misty’s speech just grinds at me like nothing else. This episode was going good until the end, then it decided to suddenly be completely horrible! SCREEEEEEEEEEW THIIIIIIIIIIIS EPISOOOOOOOOODE.

episode 30 finished. we’ve gotten through half of Master Quest. ….whelp 30 more to go! *cries*

So. Two good episodes.....followed by possibly one of the worst. sigh. I know, I'm biased. but....Episode 30? your probably going to be one of the worst episodes of pokemon in my book. its one of the few that really made me rant, the only other to my memory, being the Granbull episode. mostly because, Episode 30 had some of the greatest potential....and some of the worst resolution of that potential. they could've had an actual solution to that, but no they didn't. it was an obvious solution but screw that, we can't cut down a tree to stop people from fighting, which would've been a good metaphor for solving the problem of food shortages or something but nope! just spout some stupid claptrap that doesn't solve anything! seriously, screw that episode. screw it forever.

[Lord Raziere]

No clue. It is never mentioned again, Bill is never brought up again, and we just keep going as if it never happened! Thats Pokemon's episodic nature for you: It takes a concept, explores it briefly then throws it away to never revisit it ever again, discarding it like trash, or eating it like a potato chip, or going through it like a tissue. Thats why I like it when Pokemon shows continuity at all, because normally aside from the narrator's preface of what city they're headed to at the beginning and end of the episode, you could switch around the places of many episodes without telling the difference unless you pay attention to the pokemon Team Ash has in their roster.

[ThePhantom]

These episodes I remember. Some more fondly than others. As for the tree, well, pokemon tends to be pro-environment, which means cutting down such a tree isn't really an opinion. Hmm, it seems better at the time, but I don't quite remember how it was.

[AGD]

Would cutting the Tree not represent something like "Lets destroy the Resources. Then nobody can fight for them, but everyone starves." as a metapher. But yeah, I agree with you, that Mistys Speech is Bull****. Why should a Vileplume/Bellossom believe, that it is a Bellossom/Vileplume, if its Body is the only Thing about it, that is a Bellossom/Vileplume.

[Lord Raziere]

No see, the tree is what is causing the conflict with its constantly moving shadow. It literally has nothing else to do with the situation. Cut it down, and everyone else has equal sunlight throughout the entire day because the shadow isn't causing any sunlight shortage, thus sunlight for everyone! yay! which I believe is a good metaphor for developing nano-fabrication technology to make abundant food, just like how nature is what causes war in real life with its fickle changes in climate and season like floods and droughts, and how it is through our own society and agreement to overcome nature for greater harmony that we have to create a better world, because nature is a horrible, cruel inefficient system- it is after all, the environment causing the conflict, the circumstances that keep conflict flaring up, because they couldn't control the environment well enough, which clearly means we need to have better control over the environment- this is pro-environment, because to best ensure that we have good climate, that global warming doesn't take hold, cause an ice age/flooding that would cause a resource shortage thus leading to war, we need better healthier control over our environment rather than carelessly doing whatever. cutting down one tree isn't anti-environment, its just getting rid of the one part of nature thats constantly screwing things up. neither the Bellossom or the Vileplume seem to have any particular attachment to the tree anyways, so its not like there is anyone opposing the action. that and natural forest fires are totally a thing that happens to make sure new seeds are spread and such.

in short, they put out the half-assed "we're all special!" aesop over a good metaphor for the entire war and hunger situation, because they didn't like the one solution that would actually work: getting rid of the tree! because apparently no one thinks of just sharing the space in front of the tree instead of uselessly standing in its shadow, and no one thinks of just leaving that spot for some place else, even though its the only stupid tree in a big field! everywhere else gives them good sunlight for food!

[Lord Raziere]

Hello everyone!

My absence of late has been because of my internet suddenly being out for some reason and it has been fixed, rest assured that I will soon not only be resuming my Watch, but trying to catch up! I won't apologize for an event beyond my control though.

[ThePhantom]

Oh good. I was starting to worry something more serious had happened.

[Lord Raziere]

you were that concerned? huh, touching in a way.

anyways, lets start this again, the last episode I did was....ouch that one. but maybe my unplanned break is good! perhaps refreshed and ready to go, I will be able to comment with higher quality and better energy!


….why would warm temperatures deter them? warm is comfy. warmness is my favorite temperature! cold is well….COLD. hot is y’know….HOT. warm is where its at.

uh. I don’t think heat work like that, Brock. I’m mean sure heat rises from the earth because of the mantle and such, but I live near a mountain range with lots of volcanoes in it, sure a lot of them are dormant but they still have snow on them. having a volcano just means that it can get really hot really quickly if your too near it and die, but eruptions are very predictable things. they don’t cause the climate to be hot for no reason, especially in the mountains. now if the mountains were smoggy, that would be plausible cause volcanos are basically really big chimney’s most of the time they’re active.

…some like it hot? hm, why does that make think of something risqué?

oh Team Rocket, now you get blasted off by a random geyser. now I’m just feeling sorry for you.

don’t Magcargo have extremely high temperatures in their body? perhaps its so hot because they’re radiating all that heat, they are living lava after all.

they come across a giant Macargo sleeping in the middle of the road, Misty questions how they will get past it. its obvious Misty: you need…..a poke flute! but unfortunately, poke-hippy isn’t around to help. there fore you’ll have to take the next best thing:
*Link comes in and starts playing the Ocarina*

and a valiant effort by Poliwhirl to get past the Magcargo, but ultimately it fails…and oh my god, another arrogant brat. someone please teach this kid humility.

his name is Egan and he is the most annoying brat this episode. Misty has redeemed herself by being mad at this bothersome loser of a fire trainer. Ash and Brock are emotionless as ever…

oh no, water and fire ego clash. this is going to end in a fierce battle, I can tell.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Ash and Brock are just like “ok children, settle down before we take away your toys” Ash has come along away if he will act mature as Brock.

“want trouble?”-Egan
WHOA! careful with that phrasing, you almost made me say “prepare for trouble, make it double” there. and you never know: those words could summon the Rockets at any time. its like an incantation.

and….they just peter out. guess they tired of smack-talking at each other, but hey at least the path is clear! now you can continue on your way and forget that annoying brat ever existed. what was his name again?

whoa, another geyser blast off for Team Rocket. its not their day.

and here is the difference between Misty and Who?: Misty knew to call it quits, the other guy just kept going until Flareon fainted, being overconfident in how much his pokemon can take.

Team Rocket has been blasted off a THIRD TIME this episode, this time from a Magcargo! thats….215+27= 242 times.

and whats his name takes me advice from Misty, captures Magcargo…..then Team Rocket well…

Blastoff Counter: 243.

and I like this episode because it redeems Misty and shows why she is really awesome, not because she expounds some stupid crap like in…the previous episode…but because she loves water pokemon and sees the beauty of water, but still has her flaws like having an ego and a bad temper. it also highlights how despite their differences, Misty and Who? tried the same things with Magcargo the first time around and both failed, highlighting both similarities and differences.


oh no, not another goddamn Murkrow!

oh no not another pokemon magician! the last time we had one, Ash got hypnotized into doing this evil guy’s bidding!

“since I was little I’ve always wanted to be a pokemon magician”-Misty
BULL****! your a water trainer Misty, and nothing else! this is just out of character.

“I never met a pokemon magician before!” WAIT WHAT, Brock, guys, you do remember Kanto right? the magician guy with the stupid voice, real nervous, Exeggcutor, doesn’t ring a bell? Charmander evolved into Charmeleon? Ash got hypnotized, a bunch of Exeggcutor were caught but hypnotized each other and needed to be defeated with fire to make sure they didn’t destroy the town? I’m pretty sure you guys would remember something like that, it was a pretty eventful episode!

and now they go searching for ingredients for a magic spell to read a pokemon’s mind. cool.

Blastoff Counter: 244

and they are stuck on a cliff…..she gets the dirt from a Meowth’s paw….THEN they fall….

eh. Blastoff Counter: 245.

….Team Rocket wants that spell themselves now, but wait, why would Team Rocket need a spell to understand pokemon? THEY HAVE MEOWTH!

and Team Rocket tries a lot of ways to make Aipom cry…but tears of violence don’t work, so they try making it laugh or putting on a show so sad it tugs at the heartstrings but they’re all so bad it fails. I find it hard to cry at things myself, even when I’m sad.

Blastoff Counter: 246

and this is the episode where Ash turns into Pikachu! I think he actually looks cuter as a Pikachu then he does as human.

and I like the interpretation that turning into a pokemon could help “read” their mind.


and Ash turns right back to normal in the beginning of the next episode! whelp. there goes a good idea for an entire episode. just..glossed over. no attempt at actually exploring what can happen with Ash as a Pikachu, just acknowledging that it happened then moving on.

ad they’re lost again. wow, Team Ash really does have a negative Navigation score don’t they? perhaps they are all under the Hibiki Curse?

oh come on, Team Ash your not- screw it, you are going to fall for this Team Rocket scheme, you always do, screw it, lets see what happens, it might be funny.

Team Rocket, I like how you did this step-by-step thing where you explain what your doing right in front of them and they don’t realize they’ve been fooled until the last step. kinda like a warrior going “first I draw my sword, then I step towards you, then I raise y sword to strike….then I punch you in the face!”

ah, the good ol’ explosive overlocking maneuver. never absorb electric attacks, Pikachu will just pour so much power you’ll burst.

Blastoff Counter: 247

so a woman comes and promises them that she can help them as long as they keep what they see a secret.

“I’ve never seen a later on top of a mountain before!”- Brock
Hello? did you already forget the Chinchou episode Brock? do you have the worst memory or what?

and so a crystal is healing electric pokemon through the lake water. weird. but just another piece of evidence that magic clearly exists in pokemon- from this crystal, to the mask and staff, to Lily and her potions, to the giant Gengar and Alakazam….but is often few in number and only for specific plots.

OH FRACK, A ZAPDOS! Team Rocket, I see the Blastoff Counter rising in your future.

Blastoff Counter: 248

but Team Rocket lands are away and Team Ash have to confront them to get the crystal back.

Blastoff Counter: 249

and the crystal is recharged temporarily by normal electrics….but Zapdos charges it permanently. makes sense. legends are awesome like that.

me, I’mma call this place Lake Zapdos. its nice to see not all ancient magical stuff are bad things…



nice three episodes really, they make up for....the last one. a legendary, a strange magic spell, further evidence in general of magic in pokemon universe, Misty being cool again...there is just so much good stuff in these three episodes.

[ThePhantom]

Okay, I saw part of 32 and 33, but none of these episodes all the way through. They don't seem that bad at all, which is a good thing.