Most Spoiled Spoilers EVER (Mega-Spoilers, obviously)

[Haruki-kun]

Hi! Welcome to the most Spoiled Spoilers Thread!

In this thread, feel free to write any spoilers to ANYHING at all that you feel aren't even spoilers anymore because everyone knows them anyway.

Rules: Only one. Write the title of the work you're referencing before so people can avoid un-spoiled spoilers.

That said, I'll begin.

Number one spoiler of all times: Star Wars
Darth Vader was Luke's Father!!!!!!! Even people who haven't watched it know that.......

Romeo and Juliet:
They die, end of story

Final Fantsy VII
Aeris dies. It's the most spoiled spoiler ever (except for Star Wars). I haven't played it and I know it.

I was surprised when she showed up in Kingdom Hearts ALIVE

[Nerd-o-rama]

Famous deaths not yet mentioned

Firefly/Serenity
Wash dies. So does Book, but people who didn't watch the series before the movie don't have a clue who Book is anyhow.
Cowboy Bebop
Spike dies.
Buffy/Angel
Spike also dies. This one gets better, though. Also, Fred dies, followed shortly by most of the rest of the mortal cast.
Final Fantasy VI
General Leo dies. Why people care, I'm still not sure.
Harry Potter
Not only does Dumbledore die, but Snape kills him. The two books previous to this featured the deaths of Cedric Diggory and Sirius Black.
Doctor Who
Technically, Rose doesn't die.

[Amotis]

Famous deaths not yet mentioned
Cowboy Bebop
Spike dies.


Way to ruin my night with a sad memory Nerd. :smallfrown:
Blue (http://youtube.com/watch?v=veO0PhNeT0o)

Bang...

[ElfLad]

Music:
Paul McCartney is dead. Elvis lives.

[Amotis]

Music:
Paul McCartney is dead. Elvis lives.

Wanna cry?


8 Weeks Before His Death (http://youtube.com/watch?v=UispCK7Q--M)

I never liked Elvis so this (http://youtube.com/watch?v=AX9Vhv4akxc) one always made me cry...:smallfrown::smallfrown::smallfrown:

[bosssmiley]

Amateurs!

Lord of the Rings
Boromir dies. Gandalf survives. Sauron loses. Sam marries Rosie.

Count of Monte Christo
He gets his revenge.

Easy Rider
They get shot by rednecks in a pick-up.

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
It's the cup made of clay.

Jet Li's "Hero"
Nameless doesn't kill the First Emperor.

Gladiator
Maximus dies. The republic is never restored.

Cyrano de Bergerac
Cyrano dies.

The Last Samurai
The samurai die (all of them!) - also the spoiler for "Kagemusha"

Goodbye Mr Chips
Chips dies.
Dips chies?

Tom Brown's Schooldays
The headmaster dies

Citizen Kane
Rosebud = the sledge he owned as a boy.

The Screwtape Letters
Wormwood fails

Man in the Iron Mask
d'Artagnan: "Louis the XIVth of France, *I* am your father!"

Yojimbo (Fistful of Dollars/Last Man Standing)
Sanjiro (Toshiro Mifune/Clint/Bruce) wins.

A Christmas Carol
Scrooge has a happy Xmas. Tiny Tim does not die.

The Matrix
Neo is the one

Dune
Paul Atreides is the one (pron. 'Muad-dib' in space-arabic)

Highlander
Connor McCloud is the one

The One
Jet Li is the one

V for Vendetta
We are all V

Lawrence of Arabia
Lawrence fails and falls off a motorbike

Shadowlands
She dies. This cheers C.S.Lewis up.

The Adventures of Baron Munchausen
The old braggart really is that d*mn good!

Waterloo
Napoleon loses in extra time

T3: Rise of the Machines
Skynet = Internet *blaaaah*

Monsters Inc
screams = x, laughter = 10x

[Haruki-kun]

Amateurs!

Lord of the Rings
Boromir dies. Gandalf survives. Sauron loses. Sam marries Rosie.

Unforgettable. So spoiled it was in the friggin' TRAILERS. Well, everyone knew anyway.

[Om]

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
It's the cup made of clay.Clearly you did not understand that "this is the cup of a carpenter" :smallwink:

[Nightmarenny]

Way to ruin my night with a sad memory Nerd. :smallfrown:
Blue (http://youtube.com/watch?v=veO0PhNeT0o)

Bang...I don't know how you can be sad about that. It was the best death ever. I mean, man.

[Tharj TreeSmiter]

The Great Escape
They don't escape
Planet of the Apes
It's earth
Soylent Green
It's made out of people... PEOPLE!!!!
Soylent Green 2
It's STILL made out of people!!! just kidding, there is no sequel :)
Star Wars Episode 3
Anakin turns evil!
Titanic
It stinks then sinks

[Bryn]

The Great Escape
They don't escape

But they do escape, sort of! I mean, they get out the prison camp, although most of them die or get recaptured on the way out of Germany.

[Joran]

The Sixth Sense - I haven't actually watched the movie and I know this.
Bruce Willis is already dead.

The Usual Suspects
Kevin Spacey is Keyser Soze

[Joosbawx]

The Princess Bride
The Man in Black is not left handed either, fighting one man is completely different from fighting half a dozen men, both glasses contain iocane powder, Wesley is the Man in Black, Count Rougen is six fingered man, Wesley dies, Inego can't lie to save his life, the chocolate does help it go down easier, a holocaust cloak always comes in handy, Inego gets his revenge, Wesley was bluffing, and of all the kisses in all the stories in all the books this one is the most passionate and pure.

[Om]

The Sixth Sense - I haven't actually watched the movie and I know this.
Bruce Willis is already dead.I saw that spoiler on Scrubs before I saw the film. I was not happy.

[Eldan]

Ooh, ooh, I have one:

Death Note:

People die

[Abacab]

Final Fantsy VII
Aeris dies. It's the most spoiled spoiler ever (except for Star Wars). I haven't played it and I know it.

I was surprised when she showed up in Kingdom Hearts ALIVE

I know. It's like the greatest video game spoiler. I even read it in a magazine when it was giving tips about defeating Sephiroth. And that was before I played FF7, so I already knew she would die.


Ooh, ooh, I have one:

Death Note:

People die


That is spoiling the plot of all of the manga volumes. It says that "when criminals start dropping dead" in the summary . Don't you just hate it that they have to summarize the volume on the back of a manga? They spoil it.

But I have a major spoiler.
Neon Genesis Evangelion:
Everybody ends up dying in the Death and Rebirth Movies.

[SDF]

HookA fat kid rolls down some stairs.

[HealytheHealslime]

Citizen Kane
Rosebud = the sledge he owned as a boy.

Clearly you have mistaken this film with Citizen Shane, a heart-wrenching story about a man who becomes a tycoon in the highly lucrative industry of construction work, only to lose what little humanity he had as he becomes entangled in scandal, corrupt unions, and creating a used car dealership for his second wife for some strange reason.

Dear lord, that was awful.

[ElfLad]

Ocarina of Time:
Sheik is Zelda. Also, anybody who thinks Zelda actually turns into a boy is stupid.

[Nevrmore]

The Departed
Everyone dies in the end.

Primal Fear
Roy is real.

Saw
The body in the middle of the floor is Jigsaw

Saw II
The son is inside the safe the entire time.

The Warriors
Luther killed Cyrus because he felt like it.

Dominic Deegan: Oracle for Hire
Dominic is the champion of Balance, not of Light.

Metal Gear Solid
The POW who died was actually Decoy Octopus, Revolver Ocelot was playing both sides of the field the entire time, Liquid Snake succumbs to FOXDIE

Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty
Raiden is the main character.

Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater
The Sorrow kills Colonel Volgin, Ocelot was playing both sides of the field, EVA is a bitch to try and sneak through the forest with.

300
Rodrigo Santaro, the guy who plays Xerxes, doesn't look anything like Xerxes does in the movie.

[Siric]

The easiest way to do this is FF style :P

FF1
Garland Time travels. He's the final boss.

FF2
Your missing friend is captured and works for the bad guys. Been then he works for the bad guys. And the main villain becomes the devil or something/ Not too sure about that one :/

FF3
This game was released on the DS.

FF4
You ride a whale to the moon.

FF5
Galuf is an Alien. Well, not really, If you want to get really into it.

FF6
Shadow Dies. Either at the floating island, or it's implied at the end. Locke's an adventurer, not a thief.

FF7
Red XIII gets kittens ^_^

FF8
Squall time travels to the future to fight a witch who uses her witchy like powers to control two other witches to lock all three time zones together which, for some reason, makes every single moment in time exist at the same time, so she could rule everything and everybody. Even though everyone would be dead...

FF9
The main character is a monkey from an alternate dimension...Or is Vivi from the alternate dimension?

FF10
Tidus is part of a dream.

FF10-2
The guy who looks like Tidus is not really Tidus. Just some dude from the past.

FF11
It's online

FF12
This was released recently.

And for kicks!
KH2
GET UP ON THE HYDRAS BACK!

[Turcano]

Since Easter's just around the corner, here's a spoiler for Passion of the Christ:

Jesus dies. Only, not.

[AmoDman]

Since Easter's just around the corner, here's a spoiler for Passion of the Christ:

Jesus dies. Only, not.

Pfft. Penny-Arcade did that punchline better...I was thinking of putting the comic in a spoiler but now you've ruined it!

[Nerd-o-rama]

Nevrmore, you forgot the bigger spoiler for MGS2:
I have no idea what it was, though. The last hour makes no goddamn sense. Anyway, Ocelot was playing both sides of the field the whole time.

[Don Beegles]

Amateurs!

Cyrano de Bergerac
Cyrano dies.

Citizen Kane
Rosebud = the sledge he owned as a boy.



@#1, I know, and it gets me everytime. That play kicks so much ass that it's not even funny.

@#2, You stole my damn spoiler, jerk. That was the one I was going to pick.

The Lakers-Heat Game
The Heat won 71-72; Kobe slamdunked over Shaq in double-over time to win the game. Don't you ever mess with my treadmill again.

[Turcano]

Pfft. Penny-Arcade did that punchline better...I was thinking of putting the comic in a spoiler but now you've ruined it!

Hurray for ruining things!

[Amotis]

What did you think would happen after her climbed up there?

He uh...climbed down?

[Nevrmore]

Nevrmore, you forgot the bigger spoiler for MGS2:
I have no idea what it was, though. The last hour makes no goddamn sense. Anyway, Ocelot was playing both sides of the field the whole time.
Oh my god, you didn't get that? Are are you, dumb? Geez, let me explain it:

Raiden is really Solidus Snake's adoptive son who's real name is Jack onl it's not really Jack because he was named after a Japanese warplane used in World War II and Jack was a child killing machine until he gets amnesia or something and forgets all about it and eventually signs up to be the new Solid Snake but what he doesn't realize through the course of the game is that the two people, Col. Campbell and Rose, he's been communicating with throughout the game aren't the actual Roy and Rose but are actually holograms or something that were made by Metal Gear Ray but whenever Raiden put the computer virus in Ray it messed up so the holograms started saying and doing really weird things and then Raiden realizes that Ocelot has been playing both sides of the field and that he really works for the Patriots and the reason that Fortune could never be hit by anything is because she was secretly implanted with an electromagnetic field but the thing that produces the field is like the sieze of a remote control so how she didn't notice it was on her is a mystery but anyone Fortune is also able to deflect the missiles from Ray without the shield so you enver know what happened with that because she dies afterwards because Ocelot shot her twice and stuff and Ocelot runs off to the Patriots with all the information he's gathered leaving the tanker to crahs into Washington D.C. where Raiden and Solidus Snake have their final battle and Raiden comes out victorious but in the end they realize that all the members of the Patriots died a century ago.

I mean, jesus christ man, it's not that hard.

[/sarcasm]

[Nerd-o-rama]

Oh. I get it now.

Wait, wait. Washington? I thought it was Manhattan! Now the game doesn't make any sense! I'm going to have to play it all over again!

Dude. I should come up with callbacks for the whole game.

Raiden...*******! you've got to save Rose...SLUT!

Wait, so I can say "ass", but I can't add a "hole" to the end of it? Anyway, it's a Rocky Horror joke. I'm leaving it as it is.

[Joosbawx]

Bridge to TerabithiaLeslie dies when the rope breaks swinging over the creek while Jess is at the Museum with the music teacher he has a crush on.

[ElfLad]

Pulp Fiction
John Travolta dies.

[Turcano]

Pulp Fiction
John Travolta dies.

If only. I think you mean Vincent.

[Jorkens]

Alternatively... (http://www.xkcd.com/c109.html)

[Ted_Stryker]

Memory, Sorrow, and Thorn trilogy:

The bad guys need to get Memory, Sorrow, and Thorn together, not the good guys.

[Cubey]

FF7
Red XIII gets kittens ^_^

Technically:

He doesn't, because they aren't kittens. That's because Red isn't a cat. He's a coyote/jackal/something along these lines, definately canine. Sorry for nitpicking, but people calling Red a cat is a (minor) pet peeve of mine.

[Lord of the Helms]

Command and Conquer:
Kane dies.
Command and Conquer: Tiberian Sun:
Kane is alive, then dies.
Command and Conquer: Tiberium Wars:
Kane is Jean Grey. I mean, alive.
Baldur's Gate:
Sarevok is your brother.
Baldur's Gate II:
Imoen is your sister.
Baldur's Gate II: Throne of Bhaal:Melissan is evil, but no sibling of yours. Everyone else is, though.
Neverwinter Nights:
Aribeth betrays you.
Neverwinter Nights: Shadows of Undrentide:
Deekin joins you.
Neverwinter Nights: Hordes of the Underdark:
Mephistopheles pwns you.
Deus Ex:
It's all a conspiracy.
Deus Ex II:
It's all crap.
Warhammer 40K: Dawn of War:
Uber-cliffhanger ftw!
Warhammer 40K: Dawn of War - Winter Assault:
The Imperials save the Empire. The Eldar save the universe. Chaos gains power. Orks destroy everyone.
Warhammer 40K: Dawn of War - Dark Crusade:
There is no story. Ooops.

[anphorus]

FF7
Cloud isn't actually a member of SOLDIER and Tifa and Cloud weren’t best friends back in Nibelheim.

Cloud just sort of admired Tifa from afar and Tifa didn't even know who he was. Cloud was tired of being treated like a useless tool and planned to take off and join SOLDIER. Tifa got excited by this, since she digs a guy in uniform and made Cloud promise to save her if she ever needed it. When Cloud got to Midgar, he was tested and failed his psyche exam to get into SOLDIER school, the loser, so he had to join up with the regular army. Cloud was later part of the military escort which accompanied the two 1st Class SOLDIERs who went to the Nibelheim reactor. Tifa never recognise him since he had a mask on. These SOLDIER were Sephiroth, (some kind of weird half human half alien baby) and Zack (Aeris/th's main squeeze, ya dig?).

When Sephiroth saw the experiments which resulted from concentrated Mako exposure in the reactor he flipped out and went totally loco. The fact that his mother (not really) JENOVA's name was on a sealed door in the reactor didn't help. He read all the books in the Shin-ra mansion and decided that his mother was really a Cetra (wrong) and that since the humans had killed off all the cetra (also wrong) that he should kill all humans. Sephiroth then slaughtered the town and burned it to the ground. Tifa chased after Sephiroth in revenge for he father's death, chasing him into the reactor, and got totally owned. Zack then ran in and tried to fight Sephiroth, but also got totally owned. Cloud then ran into the reactor, tried to help Tifa and then grabbed Zack's sword and sneak attacked ol' Sephy. Cloud then went back and had a little chat with Tifa as she lay dying in a pool of her own blood. Sephiroth, meanwhile cut the head off of his mother's (not really) preserved body and was limping away. When Cloud tried to finish Sephy off, Sephiroth ran him through with his hugemungous sword. Cloud then grabbed the blade and flung the guy off the edge, into the reactor core and collapsed.

Tifa's martial arts teacher snuck Tifa out and took her to Midgar for medical attention. Cloud and Zack were both picked up by a science team led by Hojo (Sephiroth's father) and injected with JENOVA cells and Mako, (which is the same process that gives SOLDIERs their superpowers) in order to create "Sephiroth clones" (not actually clones at all) The true purpose of these clones was that they were supposed to mentally break down from the process and would then the JENOVA cells in their body would try to reunite try to reunite with the rest, leading Shin-ra to the Promised Land. Zack was considered a failed clone, since he had already been exposed to JENOVA cells in SOLDIER. Since Zack was fully compus mentus, he managed to break both Cloud and himself out and they escaped to Midgar. Outside Midgar Zack was gunned down by Shin-ra's army and Cloud was left for dead as he was still a blithering wreck as a result of his "cloning" process. Cloud then took Zack's sword and lived as a crazy guy in Midgar until Tifa found him just before the start of the game. Cloud then assumed Zack's life. Partially since his mind was so shattered that he didn't know who he was anymore and partly because he didn't want Tifa to know that he'd never joined SOLDIER at all.

This does explain how a "Level 1 SOLDIER" is weaker to begin with than the "Level 3 SOLDIERs" you fight in the Shin-ra building though, as well as how he can wield that huge sword.

And I'm still a fan of the game.

[Gygaxphobia]

Bridge on the River Kwai
They finish the bridge but then Ben Kenobi blows it up. It would have been useful for the Allied forces coming to rescue them.

A Bridge Too Far
It is too far and the Allies give up after liberating Arnheim. However the German advance is halted. and there is a second front in the West.

Guns Over Navarone (film)
Anna betrays them

Clockwork Orange (book)
A lawyer assures Alex that he acn sue the state as he has been so badly treated. Alex reminisces that he will most likely have children who rebel against him as their father, just like he rebelled.

1984
It's all a lie! There is green countryside all around them. Winston gets to find out about Room 101 first-hand. It is quite nasty. + It didn't happen in 1984, but it still might!

Animal Farm (book)
The pigs simply take the place of the humans. It's all an allegory for the Soviet revolutions.

War and Peace (book)
Russian winter ftw!
More preceisely, after the huge Battle of Borodino Napoleon's Grand Armee enters Moscow unopposed while Kutozov watches and waits. Fires are started -most likely by leaving Moscovites as a continuance of Scorched Earth- which burns all of the wooden city and the Grand Armee flees back home harrassed by the Russians. Napoleon escapes to fight another day.

[Webwalker]

But I have a major spoiler.
Neon Genesis Evangelion:
Everybody ends up dying in the Death and Rebirth Movies.
Really? Now I *have* to go watch it. It sounds like all my dreams come true!

[Deckmaster]

Not sure how spoiled some of these are, but, meh.

Babe
Everyone is astonished that a pig is a perfect sheepdog. Except for the farmer.

Little Miss Sunshine
The only reason they don't get arrested is because they agree to never enter their daughter in a beauty pageant in California again. Everyone can live with that.

Baldur's Gate: Dark Alliance
A vengeful ghost is behind everything.

Baldur's Gate: Dark Alliance 2
Actually, she isn't.

The Mask
Stanly throws the Mask away, despite not being able to before.

Son of the Mask
Jim Carrey isn't in this movie.

Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe
The Pevensies become kings and queens of Narnia. Years later, they find the wardrobe again by mistake and return home, where they are suddenly children again.

[Turcano]

Bridge on the River Kwai
They finish the bridge but then Ben Kenobi blows it up. It would have been useful for the Allied forces coming to rescue them.

Oh man, If Alec Guinness were alive to read that, he would kick you in the nuts.

[Tom_Violence]

HookA fat kid rolls down some stairs.

:smallbiggrin:

Cheers. That made me laugh immensely.

Anyway, here's mine:
The Prestige
Bale has an actual twin to do the trick with.

Spun
Mickey Rourke blows himself up at the end.

Alien Vs Predator
Its the worst film in the world. Ever.

[daggaz]

Amateurs!


Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
It's the cup made of clay.


Wow, dude. He's a carpenter. That cup is made of WOOD.

[Ted_Stryker]

Wow, dude. He's a carpenter. That cup is made of WOOD.
Yes, and since my dad is an electrician, and my mom a social worker, when I was growing up all the cups around the house were made of copper wire and paperwork. :smallbiggrin:

[Lord of the Helms]

:smallbiggrin:



Alien Vs Predator
Its the worst film in the world. Ever.

But an awesome comedy, though not near so much as the first Predator.

[Lemur]

Crime and Punishment
Raskolnikov kills the old lady. Later, he turns himself in.

Moby ****
Everyone dies, except for Ishmael and Moby ****

Godzilla
Godzilla dies, but comes back for more films

King Kong
King Kong dies

All Quiet on the Western Front
Paul, and all of his friends die

A Farewell to Arms
Catherine, the main character's love interest, dies

The Phantom of the Opera
It's not really a phantom, just a disfigured madman. He dies.

Macbeth
Macbeth dies

King Lear
Lear dies

Hamlet
Hamlet dies

The Great Gatsby
Gatsby dies

Catch-22
Yossarian lives

[Turcano]

Hamlet
Hamlet Everyone dies.
I fixed this one.

[Beleriphon]

I fixed this one.

Doesn't.... no they die... how about.... no....

Here we go

Much Ado about Nothing:

Claudio and Hero get married, so do Beatrice and Benedick. Nobody dies.


Twelfth Night:

Orsino marries Viola.


A.I.

David finds the Blue Fairy, gets frozen at the bottom of the ocean, found by aliens, blinks and the dies happy.


Unbreakable

Samuel L Jackson did it, mofo.

[Gygaxphobia]

Oh man, If Alec Guinness were alive to read that, he would kick you in the nuts.

Probably, but he should have had a sense of humour about it. I'm sure Ian McKellan and Christopher Lee will have to laugh at being known as LOTR characters!

[Turcano]

Probably, but he should have had a sense of humour about it. I'm sure Ian McKellan and Christopher Lee will have to laugh at being known as LOTR characters!

The thing is that McKellen and Lee are known for other roles besides their work in the LotR films. (McKellen was very prominent in the X-Men films, and Lee is in practically every movie ever made.) And the fact that Guinness won an Oscar for Bridge on the River Kwai adds insult to injury.

[Abacab]

Really? Now I *have* to go watch it. It sounds like all my dreams come true!

Actually, not only that, but...if you really wanna know what else happens...

The whole world explodes. It's a whole third impact (or would that be the fourth?). And that occurs after the NERV base is infiltrated by men that [I think] are from SEELE. It's insanely gorey like everything else in Eva and many are shot. And then there's that part where Asuka's fighting in her Unit and obliterating those white machines...

All of these events are complete evidence that Evangelion is a crazy series.

[Lord of the Helms]

The thing is that McKellen and Lee are known for other roles besides their work in the LotR films. (McKellen was very prominent in the X-Men films, and Lee is in practically every movie ever made.) And the fact that Guinness won an Oscar for Bridge on the River Kwai adds insult to injury.

Well, I do remember people talking about X-Men 3 and mentioning "Gandalf pulling the Golden Gate Bridge apart with his hands", so LotR IS very dominant in McKellen's filmography (sadly, since even X-Men 3 is better than LotR, and that's saying something).
As for Christopher Lee: He can count himself lucky if all he's ever remembered for is Lord of the Rings. Why?

http://www.rhapsodyoffire.com/pics/cd/rhapsody_dark_secret_250.jpg

That's why.


But yeah, Guinness being only remembered as Ben Kenobi is about as nasty as the Scorpions only being remembered for Wind of Change.

[Nerd-o-rama]

Funny, I usually remember Christopher Lee for being
Dracula

[psychoduck14]

lol, Queen-
Freddy was gay
hey everybody knows but thats what this thread is for right?

[Nerd-o-rama]

Remembered a new old one.

Chrono Trigger
Crono dies. If you get that far in the plot.

[anphorus]

Remembered a new old one.

Chrono Trigger
Crono dies. If you get that far in the plot.

No he doesn't, it's a clone! If you get that far in the plot.
ZA WARUDO!

Best game ever.

The Simpsons
Bart becomes Cheif Justice of the Supreme Court and Lisa becomes President.

I was gonna do a huge list of gay celebrities who were in the closet for some time, in the vain of psychoduck, but then I realised I only know Boy George, Will Young and that guy from Westlife.

[Deckmaster]

Boy George is gay?!

WTF?

:smallbiggrin:

[Mewtarthio]

Knights of the Old Republic
You are Darth Revan, only severely brain-damaged!

Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars
Mario repairs the Star Road and defeats Smithy! Nobody dies. Except maybe Smithy's troops, but I think they're all robots, so it's cool.

Frankenstein
Everybody dies. The monster kills about half of them, but only because man is the real monster.

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time
Farah steals the dagger. Then she dies. Then the Prince reverses all of time and prevents his father from invading the Maharaja's palace in the first place.

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
They both die.

Casino Royale
Vesper dies. She's also a double agent.

Goldeneye
Janus is really Alec Trevelyan (006).

Any other James Bond movie
The girl before the credits disappears without a trace. The next girl dies. The one after that is evil. The last one gets to sleep with Bond while Q watches and M screams "007?!"

Star Wars
Kasan Moore defects to the Rebel Alliance.

[Xaspian]

Dan Brown Books
The Nameless killer dies, and their mysterious master was actually the hero(/ine)'s mentor/trusted advisor/boss, who was the villain all along.

Toy Story
It's not flying, it's falling with style

Toy Story 2
:Zurg: Buzz, I am your father

The Dictionary
The Zebra did it.

[EricDerKonig]

Most Shakespeare tragedies:
Everyone dies

Most Shakespeare comedies:
Everyone gets married. Except the uptight Puritan

The History Channel
The Nazis lose

The Weather Channel
It's gonna rain.

[Shadow of the Sun]

Another celebrity that is gay was Rob Halford.

[wellington]

I thought this thread was for commonly-spoiled or famous spoilers...

The Crying Game
She's not... a she.

The Wizard of Oz
The way to get home was in Dorothy's possession all along! This does not speak well for Glinda.

The Simpsons
Maggie did it.

The Tempest
PROSPERO. I'll break my staff,
Bury it certain fathoms in the earth,
And deeper than did ever plummet sound,
I'll drown my book.

Death of a Salesman
See title. This may automatically count as the most spoiled spoiler ever.

Eragon
They don't give refunds on movie tickets once the credits roll.

Life
You die in the end. Sorry.

or possibly...

Life
"It has not escaped our notice that the specific pairing we have postulated immediately suggests a possible copying mechanism for the genetic material."

[Closet_Skeleton]

Death of a Salesman
See title. This may automatically count as the most spoiled spoiler ever.

But... that''s the whole point. A better one would be.

The American dream is a delusion that wastes time but everybody loved him anyway.

For people who like gangster anime and crap playstation games.

Gungrave
The only good ganster is a dead gangster.

[Don Beegles]

The Weather Channel
It's gonna rain.

Actually, that's not so much a spoiler as a clever plot twist. They keep you going in one direction all along, and then in the end, the exact opposite to what you expect to happen actually happens. Dan Brown should take lessons from the Weather Channel


But... that''s the whole point. A better one would be.

The American dream is a delusion that wastes time but everybody loved him anyway.



That really was the most pointless book ever. Knowing just about anything about Miller, and reading the title, you could more or less predict the whole thing. I hated it so much. Of course, maybe it was just reading it after a year of "The American Dream is impossible. Live with it" that got me. On my own I probably wouldn't have minded it, but it seemed so unnecessary.

[Closet_Skeleton]

That really was the most pointless book ever.

It's a play (though it was printed on dead trees, bound together and put into bookshops, but I digress) not a book. Teachers should really start realising that.

The American Dream is possible and it has been done. The play is about how this just makes it worse for the people who won't be able to accomplish it. The hero(/protaganist/great and high oponimous one) is a pitiful deluded man who dies after a life of disappointment. The point of the book is probably not so much about how the American Dream is impossible, but that it should be woken up from.

Terminator
The mass produced killing machine gets destroyed by a mash produced building machine. They also take that picture with the dog despite the absense of dog from the rest of the film.

Terminator 2: Judgement Day
The messiah is an annoying twerp but on the positive side lots of Psychiatrists die and we get a minigun scene.

Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines
This time, the robot brought a Plasma rifle but they crush it again. He's no longer an annoying twerp but a pill snuffing vagrant. And oh, this the thing in the subtitle to the previous one happens in this one but you don't actually get any machines rising apart from 1 hover thingy.

Back to the Future
He does the title thing

Back to the Future II
It's all his fault

Back to the Future III
Stuff explodes

Back to the Future IV
They didn't make this one.

Superman
He's a deus ex machina, what did you expect?

Superman II
They changed director. And Superman reverses the polarity again.

Superman III
They retconned this one out

Superman Returns
It has no point. Louis Lane's fiance manages not to be a jerk but he'd still have been better of in X3.

Serenity
You hit me on the head, I'm redeemed! And oh, it was the government's fault.

[Deckmaster]

Blame this one my nephew. My sister makes me watch children's programming with him all morning.

Nickelodeon:
The Backyardigans
It's all in their heads.

Blue's Clues
You don't need the third clue.

Dora the Explorer
They get where they're trying to go.

Go, Diego, Go
Nickelodeon makes more money.

Disney Channel:
Handy Manny
They fix it.

Mickey Mouse Clubhouse
Mickey uses all the Mouse-ka-tools, even the mystery one.

Little Einsteins
This show doesn't make kids smarter.

PBS:
Sesame Street
Trash Gordon says the letter and number of the day. And kicks alien butt!

[twerk_face]

This might have been mentioned, but...

The Murders on the Rue Morgue

Its all done by a crazy, razorblade-weilding orangutang! How effed up is that!

[Wojiz]

The Bible
Jesus dies.

I couldn't resist...

[Gygaxphobia]

This might have been mentioned, but...

The Murders on the Rue Morgue

Its all done by a crazy, razorblade-weilding orangutang! How effed up is that!


so bizarre, but something crazy from that author should not surprise anyone!

[Icewalker]

Battlestar Galactica...Oh man, theres so many...but please watch the show instead of reading these. They will totally ruin it. And it's a freakin AWESOME series.
seriously, watch the series first.
first off, cylons look like people. The blonde girl with Gaius is a cylon. Cylons destroy colonies, blah blah, basis of the show. Sharon is a cylon sleeper agent. Sharon shoots Adama in the chest, twice, but he lives. There is a second battlestar still around: Pegasus. crazy admiral, starbuck almost (but doesn't) kill her, the cylon that they have on board pegasus kills her. Billy dies :smallfrown:
Next up: Gaius wins the election, either election, he wins both (earlier one for vice president and the one for president later) and he gets them to land on the planet they find, hidden from the cylons, becomes corrupt, cylons arrive, rebellionrific. Tigh's wife dies. Adama is not a cylon (probably). starbuck saves Anders from caprica. marries him. Lee marries D. Starbuck is almost having an affair with Lee. They decide not to.
this is the big one, you really don't want to read this. cmon. don't do it.
ok then: Starbuck dies, they claim (not confirmed) that Anders, Colonel Tigh, the presidents aide, and the chief are all cylons. Then starbuck comes back. :smallconfused:
THEN THEY MAKE US WAIT UNTIL F---ING 2008 AAAAAAAAAAGH :furious: :furious: :furious: :furious: :furious: :furious: :furious: :furious: :furious: :furious: :furious:
Theres more, but these are the biggest ones.

[Jack Squat]

http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/spoiler_alert.png

[Khantalas]

The Shining:
Redrum is actually murder read backwards. Torrance was the previous janitor. Torrance dies.

West Side Story:
The gang leaders and the male lead die. The gangs make up.

Amadeus:
Mozart dies.

[Jalathas]

Wait, no one said this yet?

Fight Club
Edward Norton's character and Brad Pitt's character are both Tyler Durden.

[Icewalker]

SPOILER Almost, but not really, a spoiler for Harry Potter, The Matrix, and Citizen Kane
http://img408.imageshack.us/img408/3351/spoileralertpx6.gif (http://imageshack.us)

[Jack Squat]

SPOILER Almost, but not really, a spoiler for Harry Potter, The Matrix, and Citizen Kane
http://img408.imageshack.us/img408/3351/spoileralertpx6.gif (http://imageshack.us)

already beat you to it


http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/spoiler_alert.png

[Bryn]

Alternatively... (http://www.xkcd.com/c109.html)

And Jorkens beat you too... :smalltongue:

[Icewalker]

2^ Yours isn't loading on my screen.

[Jack Squat]

And Jorkens beat you too... :smalltongue:

I blame that on a massivly slow computer


2^ Yours isn't loading on my screen.

works for me on a few different computers. I just copied and pasted...wierd.

[Nerd-o-rama]

People reminded me of Futurama
Leela's not an alien, she's a mutant.

Thanks to time travel, Fry is not only his own grandfather, but intentionally pushed himself into the cryogenic chamber, at the behest of Nibbler, who's actually an ancient, super-intelligent defender of the Universe.

Also, new episodes on Comedy Central next season. Watch them, or you're fired. Out of a cannon. Into the sun.

[Cyrano]

The Wizard of Oz
It all ends with Dorothy getting an intense desire to whack Glinda.

The Matrix
Yup, you saw 4 and a half hours of movie and never once got to see Neo actually act.

Citizen Kane
Citizen Kane is in fact an illegal immigrant named Aybel

1984
Wilson or whatever is afraid of rats. Also, you will read the book 3 times and never quite understand if the ending was real or imagined.

Romeo and Juliet
Tybalt is a real jackass.

Coriolanus
He insults the plebes and fire is involved.

Merchant of Venice
You know, the Jews? Ya, we're not all that evil. Most of us settle for an ounce, two at most.

Narnia
Everything turns out badly and it so happens that you will not get the same characters in more than 3 books at a time. Also, Aslan does -not- look pretty shaved.

Oliver!
You won't say....
His nayme!!!![pretentiousbritishaccent] Also, people really dressed like that. Once.

Oliver!
Also, that tiny dude there is not a mutant, he was born that way.

Oliver!
Also, he is very hungry, the greedy jerk.

More to come? We will see!

[ElfLad]

People reminded me of Futurama
Leela's not an alien, she's a mutant.

Thanks to time travel, Fry is not only his own grandfather, but intentionally pushed himself into the cryogenic chamber, at the behest of Nibbler, who's actually an ancient, super-intelligent defender of the Universe.

Also, new episodes on Comedy Central next season. Watch them, or you're fired. Out of a cannon. Into the sun.

Futurama:
The "Fry's Dog" episode will make you cry.

[Khoran]

Most Shakespeare tragedies:
The History Channel
The Nazis lose

Haha!
Harry Potter
Voldemort is alive.

Nale is evil.

[Haruki-kun]

Blue's Clues
You don't need the third clue.


LOL, dude, you don't even need the first one XD


Most Shakespeare tragedies:
Everyone dies

Here's a little something about Shakespeare tragedies, it's Literature 101:
If your name is in the title, you die. Period. Proof?
Hamlet? Dead
Macbeth? Dead
Julius Caesar? Dead
Othello? Dead
Romeo and Juliet? Both Dead.
Well, you get the picture..............

[Closet_Skeleton]

Here's a little something about Shakespeare tragedies, it's Literature 101:
If your name is in the title, you die. Period. Proof?
Hamlet? Dead
Macbeth? Dead
Julius Caesar? Dead
Othello? Dead
Romeo and Juliet? Both Dead.
Well, you get the picture..............


Two Noble Kingsmen (disputed authorship) - only one title character dies
Cumbeline - survives
Pericles - survives
Troilus and Cressida - possibly survive

[Haruki-kun]

Two Noble Kingsmen (disputed authorship) - only one title character dies
Cumbeline - survives
Pericles - survives
Troilus and Cressida - possibly survive


Comedies don't count. Though I admit I've never heard of "Cumbeline", so I can't speak for that one.
It's just like sarcastic Irony, 'cause the main trait n a tragedy is that the main character dies and/or loses everything.

[One_Wolf]

The Sixth Sense - I haven't actually watched the movie and I know this.
Bruce Willis is already dead.



When I went to see this movie, I had heard there was a twist but did not know what it was.

In the beginning when Bruce Willis gets shot, I jokingly said "That's the big twist, he dies right in the beginning!"

Boy was I shocked to be right. I still hope nobody other than my friend who was with me heard that and if they did, they didn't think I was serious.



-One Wolf

[Gygaxphobia]

When I went to see this movie, I had heard there was a twist but did not know what it was.

In the beginning when Bruce Willis gets shot, I jokingly said "That's the big twist, he dies right in the beginning!"

Boy was I shocked to be right. I still hope nobody other than my friend who was with me heard that and if they did, they didn't think I was serious.



-One Wolf

I was on a bus a week after this movie came out and I hadn't seen it. Some girl was shouting the ending to her friends. I could have smacked her.

My Girl
Mackuly Culkin gets stung by a horde of rampaging wasps and dies from an allergic reaction. True! And likely to make you cry. Unfortunately he still goes on to make some abysmal movies. Anna Chlumsky is still cute.

Angelheart
Bruce did it after selling his soul to the devil. The devil is Al Pacino, as though you couldn't guess from his spooky 'eating an egg with long fingernails while talking about souls' scene at the beginning.

[Deckmaster]

Yu-Gi-Oh!

Yugi always wins. If he loses, somebody cheated.

[Nerd-o-rama]

Is threatening to kill yourself if you lose cheating, or just emo?

Yu-gi-oh: The Abridged Series
It's not Kaiba's ghost. It's some sort of...gay clown, apparently.

Wicked
She becomes the Wicked Witch of the West
Also, the Wizard is a jerk. But you already knew this from the original Wizard of Oz movie/play/novel.

[Sailacela]

Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon
Li Mu Bai dies.
Jen Yu jumps off a bridge and flies away

It's a Wonderful Life
George Bailey felt his life was wasted because he never got a chance to see the world. An angel helps him to see his life wasn't a waste because he changed the world for the people that knew and loved him

The X-Files
The Cigarette Smoking Man dies. Missile to the face ftw!

The X-Files
Skinner shoots Krycek in the forehead (he doesn't survive)

The X-Files
The Lone Gunmen all die

The X-Files
Mulder dies

The X-Files
Mulder comes back. Apparently he was only mostly dead. *smirk*

The X-Files and my personal favorite
Scully is immortal

[Mewtarthio]

Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon
Li Mu Bai dies.
Jen Yu jumps off a bridge and flies away

Wait, I always thought she was just committing an extremely stylized suicide.

[Parasocrates]

The Horus Heresy series:

Horus dies, the Emperor is mortally wounded, the Imperium becomes a "theocracy."

You're not even reading the series if you don't already know how it ends. And they haven't even finished writing it yet.

[Rama_Lei]

Futurama:
The "Fry's Dog" episode will make you cry. Dude, I was bawling at that episode.

[Gygaxphobia]

Wait, I always thought she was just committing an extremely stylized suicide.

yup, so she (Jen Yu) can be with her lover in "heaven" and doesn't have to enter into arragned amrriage. There is a legend during the film that talks about lovers leaping off of Wudan mountain.

[Sailacela]

yup, so she (Jen Yu) can be with her lover in "heaven" and doesn't have to enter into arragned amrriage. There is a legend during the film that talks about lovers leaping off of Wudan mountain.

Nope. The movie is loaded with imagery and symbolism, not everything is intended to be taken literally. Jen Yu spends the better part of the movie behaving like a child, selfish and immature. Throughout the course of the movie she is forced to see things from perspectives other than her own (adults) and starts to grow up, all of this culminating when Li Mu Bai dies. To me, her leap into the clouds was representative of her transcendance beyond childish ways.

I've heard other theories that relate more to the legend mentioned in the film where her leap was one of faith, different reasoning but still a symbolic action rather than literal.

I'll concede that there is contention that she did, in fact, commit suicide but I've never bought in to that. The movie is more of a morality tale about growth, responsibility, and maturity.

Here's another take on the movie:
http://music.utsa.edu/electron/CTHD.html
The last paragraph discusses Jen's jump.

[Ishmael]

Too little foreign films.

La Vita é Bella, or Life is Beautiful

They get taken to a concentration camp. The uncle gets gassed. Guido gets shot, but is able to make the kid laugh one last time before he dies. Joshua thinks it is all a game due to his father's lying to protect his innocence.

[Mr._Blinky]

I'm sure someone has said it already, but...

The Passion of the Christ
Jesus dies!

[Rob Knotts]

The Crying Game
Siskel and Ebert couldn't keep a secret
Attack of the Clones
The best way get a chaste princess who's devoted her life to civil service to sleep with you? Confide in her about just having single-handedly massacred every man, woman, and child in an aboriginal village out of vengeful rage.
Legacy of Kain: Defiance
Amy Henning found a new job at Ubisoft.

[Nevrmore]

Too little foreign films.

La Vita é Bella, or Life is Beautiful

They get taken to a concentration camp. The uncle gets gassed. Guido gets shot, but is able to make the kid laugh one last time before he dies. Joshua thinks it is all a game due to his father's lying to protect his innocence.
Best movie ever on the grounds that it made a movie about everyone dying in a nazi concentration camp a comedy.

[Miles Invictus]

FF5
Galuf is an Alien. Well, not really, If you want to get really into it.


Galuf dies three-quarters of the way through. His niece inherits his powers.
According to every Final Fantasy V FAQ ever written, this is the biggest spoiler ever. Like, in the entire universe.
In truth, Final Fantasy V has about as much plot as a Lucky Charms commercial.



Final Fantasy Tactics Advance

You get to go home.
Oh, wait, you don't.

[AmoDman]

Dude, I was bawling at that episode.

Bawling at what now? That episode doesn't exist.

It doesn't exist!

[Dr. Bath]

Indiana Jones and the raiders of the lost arc
the nazi's lose

[Glaivemaster]

The Game
You Lose

[Gitman00]

Wait, no one said this yet?

Fight Club
Edward Norton's character and Brad Pitt's character are both Tyler Durden.

Damn, I was gonna say that one. Well then, since we're on that actor:

Snatch:
Mickey doesn't throw the fight, and his family kills Brick Top. The narrator finds the diamond in a dog that won't stop squeaking.

Ocean's Eleven (the new one):
They ARE the SWAT team.

Ocean's Twelve
The movie's plot has nothing to do with its resolution

Ocean's Thirteen
It has Al Pacino in it.

[thorgrim29]

Halo 3
The game was in development, worst kept secret in the industry for like.... ever

[blackout]

Red vs Blue Season Five:

CHURCH IS POSSESSED BY O'MALLEY, AND SHEILA IS NOW A SHIP!

[Holy_Knight]

Wow, dude. He's a carpenter. That cup is made of WOOD.


Yes, and since my dad is an electrician, and my mom a social worker, when I was growing up all the cups around the house were made of copper wire and paperwork. :smallbiggrin:

The cup was some kind of clay, not wood. The point wasn't "Hey we can tell what kind of cup it was because of his profession", it was "Even though he's the king of kings, he was a poor carpenter who lived mostly as a travelling preacher, so he would have used a common man's cup, not some expensive gold thing with gems".


Oh, and for my spoiler:

March of the Penguins

Some of the penguins survive and procreate, but some of them don't make it.

[Don Beegles]

Yes, and since my dad is an electrician, and my mom a social worker, when I was growing up all the cups around the house were made of copper wire and paperwork. :smallbiggrin:

Wow, that's creepy. Well, not creepy but a wierd coincidence. My parents seem to have the exact same professions as yours. And our cups are the same as well. I always have to remember not to put them down near the stove, and we're not allowed to drink outside during thunderstorms.

[Hoggy]

Red vs Blue Season Five:

CHURCH IS POSSESSED BY O'MALLEY, AND SHEILA IS NOW A SHIP!

Sure? I mean, it could easily be in Tex... after all, she did switch Sheila off just before Sheila almost said the first time, and we never hear what Caboose told her - her aiming at Church could be a cover.

Suspense. DUH DUH DUH!

:smallbiggrin:

[blackout]

Sure? I mean, it could easily be in Tex... after all, she did switch Sheila off just before Sheila almost said the first time, and we never hear what Caboose told her - her aiming at Church could be a cover.

Suspense. DUH DUH DUH!

:smallbiggrin:

Ah, but Church clearly said 'Aw, crap.' when Tex aimed at him.

[Deleran]

Se7en
Kevin Spacey kills Gweneth Paltrow. Brad Pitt kills Kevin Spacey.

Enter The Dragon
Everyone except Bruce Lee and John Saxon dies.

Blade Runner
Harrison Ford is a replicant... maybe.

Total Recall
The whole bit on Mars was a recall memory... maybe.

Minority Report
There is no minority report for Tom Cruise, he actually kills the guy. Also, the last part of the movie is his halo dream after being arrested... maybe.

City of God
Everyone dies except for the runts and Rocket. The runts take over the city.

Jade Empire
Master Li is the bad guy!

The Venture Brothers
The kids are clones, they've died like 10 times.

Phantom Dust
Everyone died a long time ago, including you. You're all the animated memories of Edgar, who travelled to the future, and then died. Also, backwards compatible with the 360 now. :smallbiggrin:

[Hoggy]

Yeah, but I'd be pretty scared too if a trained killer aimed a gun at my face

:smalltongue:

[blackout]

Well, if he wasn't possessed, he would have said "What are you aiming at me for?!"

[Innis Cabal]

better one for Death Notes
L dies

[Wonderboy]

To Serve ManIt's a cookbook!

[Nerd-o-rama]

Addendums to the Total Recall and Venture Brothers ones:

Total Recall
Quade was a bad guy who had his mind wiped to turn himself into a sleeper agent. He still decides to be good anyway.

The Matrix
References Total Recall a lot.

The Venture Brothers
Actually, it's more like 14 or 15 times now.

[Mr._Blinky]

Well, if he wasn't possessed, he would have said "What are you aiming at me for?!"
Well, he knows why she's aiming at him, since she clearly called him O'Malley. If you want my opinion, O'Mally is actually in Sheila, and she accused Church so that she wouldn't be a suspect. I especially believe this from the way she sounded when she asked Caboose if he'd like to know. It's entirely possible he is actually in Church, but it's far from conclusive.

[blackout]

Well, he knows why she's aiming at him, since she clearly called him O'Malley. If you want my opinion, O'Mally is actually in Sheila, and she accused Church so that she wouldn't be a suspect. I especially believe this from the way she sounded when she asked Caboose if he'd like to know. It's entirely possible he is actually in Church, but it's far from conclusive.


....touche, but we're off topic.

[Haruki-kun]

Soul Calibur Series
You NEVER get to know which character REALLY destroyed Soul Edge, and which endings are just there for show. Although you can assume Link is there just for show, as well as Necrid and Charade.

[Corinthian]

better one for Death Notes
L dies

An even better one for Death Note
Light dies

[Khantalas]

An even better one for Death Note
Light dies

Heh. I haven't watched or read Death Note once and even I knew that one.

Also...

Kingdom Hearts

Kingdom Hearts... is LIGHT!!!

[RMS Oceanic]

Happy Feet
Mumble gets abducted by live action humans (huh?), dances for them, and saves the penguins.

The Village
It's not a horror, it's a drama/thriller. Also, it's actually 2004, rather than the 1890's.

Shrek
Princess Fiona is a were-ogre (close enough). She becomes a full ogre at the end.

Shrek 2
Donkey and Dragon have a herd of Drankeys

Also, Larry King's voice > Jonathan Ross' voice

Finding Nemo
They find Nemo. Thomas Newman music makes me nearly cry.

The Incredibles
Syndrome is an embittered ex-fan of Mr. Incredible. John Ratzenberger doesn't turn up until the end.

Cars
Paul Newman is a legendary race car. Lightning McQueen doesn't win the big race, as he helps the King (Richard Petty) after Chick Hicks (Michael Keaton) causes him to violently crash.

Joe Ranft died in a car crash. :(

Wallace & Gromit: Curse of the Were-Rabbit
Wallace is the Were-Rabbit.

Meet the Robinsons
Lewis is Wilbur Robinson's father. The bad guy is Lewis' room mate. The Bowler Hat is the brains behind the evil plan. Lewis doesn't find out who his mother is. This movie is way better than Chicken Little. Adam West is amusing.

Phantom Menace
The Force dies to Pennicillin. Padme is Queen Amidala.

Attack of the Clones
Anakin learns that Two-Weapon Fighting doesn't beat Two-Handed Fighting

Revenge of the Sith
Darth Vader has an emo moment.

A New Hope
Luke turns off his targeting computer, but nothing's wrong.

Empire Strikes Back
Do I have to say it?

Return of the Jedi
Leia is Luke's sister. The Empire loses to sticks and rocks.

[Abacab]

This one popped into my mind:

Grey's Anatomy

A hospital is a good place to find a date or a husband/wife. If you're an intern, definitely try hooking up with a resident, or at least a staff member. Especially if you like personal drama.

Oh yeah, you guys forgot this one...

Death Note

Light's daddy dies.