Valentine's Day

[Kesnit]

I recently took over running a 3.5 game set in Skyrim. The other players are my wife (who had been running, until she decided she'd rather play), my mother-in-law, and two guys who responded to a posting my wife made at the local gaming shop. We play on Saturdays. We've been playing for several months, but did take a 6 week break from Thanksgiving to Christmas, since my wife works in retail.

For those of you who don't pay attention to such things, this Saturday is Valentine's Day. The party is in a dungeon at the moment.

An idea occurred to me to have something romantic (but purely fluff - no mechanics) happen to my wife's PC in the dungeon. Roses popping out of a wall, or something like that. However, I'm not sure how it would go over. My wife would laugh and blush, my MiL would find it amusing, but the guys are the ones I'm worried about.

So I put this to the forum - how would you react to a DM making a romantic gesture (just one, and very briefly) to their SO in-game on Valentine's Day?

[Invader]

I wouldn't be offended if I was one of the other players. its not like you're really giving her preferential treatment and you have a wife that plays D&D with you on Valentine's day. She deserves a little in game appreciation :smallsmile:

[Spore]

I might not be the perfect person to respond to (mainly because I DESPISE Valentine's Day) but I would think that the guys would feel pretty ****ing awkward. It feels like they are sitting by you two having a date. Maybe give her a custom magic item that is purely/partially fluff and gives her something for her backstory. The flower's thing is not only cheesy as hell it is also ruining the immersion.

Assuming her PC is female you could cook up something with the Dibella cult providing her a token of affection (and possibly a sidequest). According to my sources (http://elderscrolls.wikia.com/wiki/Dibella) she provides an artifact called Brush of True Paint. I'd just give her a replica for her dreams/fantasy to be realised.

There are colors that can - assuming you have the Craft skill which can be overlooked - call any nonmagical item into reality. This helps the group and gives her a way to be creative within the game. And it does not disrupt the immersion. If she starts to doodle flower petals it is entirely her character's choice.

[Urpriest]

If you want to avoid the whole "people you don't know too well sitting awkwardly while you do something romantic for your wife" thing, you could have it be something that isn't clearly romantic until later. Maybe your wife finds a chest with a note in it, but her character won't be able to translate it until downtime after they exit the dungeon. You finish the dungeon that day, and after the session you give her a handwritten note with the translation, which ends up being something appropriately romantic.

[ILM]

So I put this to the forum - how would you react to a DM making a romantic gesture (just one, and very briefly) to their SO in-game on Valentine's Day?
Probably I'd take it in stride. If you gave me a quick heads-up beforehand in private or, say, by text or email, I definitely wouldn't blink or otherwise embarrass you.

[Telonius]

If the guys are awkward about it, respond thusly:

"I'm already gaming on Valentine's Day. Not marking it somehow is what's called 'failing a Wisdom check.'"

I'd recommend something a bit more subtle than roses popping out of the wall, though. Maybe finding a locket with a romantic inscription as part of the treasure, or finding a stash of love letters in a hidden compartment somewhere. Not directly about the character, but it gets the point across.

[Red Fel]

My advice? Let her character stumble upon a nonmagical, nondescript item, matching one you plan to give her later (although she shouldn't know at the time). A small brown box, a well-made but nonmagical piece of jewelry, etc. Later on, after the session, you give her the item (box of chocolates, jewelry, etc.) in real life, using the exact same words you used during the game. (Example: "You find a small, wrapped brown box. It's not magical, but you get the feeling it was intended for you.") That's the moment it clicks for her, the moment she realizes that you made a special, secret romantic gesture in-game, just for her. In that way, it's almost completely unobtrusive; the romantic impact happens later, after the game. Like what Urpriest proposed, but with an actual gift.

Here's my position on being the spectator - super awkward. Look, sweeping romantic gestures are great. I'm a fan. But I also realize that they can be awkward, both for the recipient and for the spectators. If the audience knows you're adorably in love, that's fine, but pushing it on them like that is, well, pushing it. My advice is to do something minor in game, something that she'll notice but think nothing of, that you can turn into something bigger after everyone has gone home.

People put too much emphasis on big romantic gestures; sometimes, the ones that nobody notices (other than the two of you) are just as good.

[Gorfnod]

My advice? Let her character stumble upon a nonmagical, nondescript item, matching one you plan to give her later (although she shouldn't know at the time). A small brown box, a well-made but nonmagical piece of jewelry, etc. Later on, after the session, you give her the item (box of chocolates, jewelry, etc.) in real life, using the exact same words you used during the game. (Example: "You find a small, wrapped brown box. It's not magical, but you get the feeling it was intended for you.") That's the moment it clicks for her, the moment she realizes that you made a special, secret romantic gesture in-game, just for her. In that way, it's almost completely unobtrusive; the romantic impact happens later, after the game. Like what Urpriest proposed, but with an actual gift.

....

People put too much emphasis on big romantic gestures; sometimes, the ones that nobody notices (other than the two of you) are just as good.

THIS

This a thousand times over.

[Psyren]

There's no real reason to make the other players bear witness to your act of affection; to me (and this is just my opinion), unless they are there with their significant others as well, it comes across as rubbing their faces in it. I would go with Urpriest or Red Fel's suggestions if you must do something in-game.

[Vhaidara]

My advice? Let her character stumble upon a nonmagical, nondescript item, matching one you plan to give her later (although she shouldn't know at the time). A small brown box, a well-made but nonmagical piece of jewelry, etc. Later on, after the session, you give her the item (box of chocolates, jewelry, etc.) in real life, using the exact same words you used during the game. (Example: "You find a small, wrapped brown box. It's not magical, but you get the feeling it was intended for you.") That's the moment it clicks for her, the moment she realizes that you made a special, secret romantic gesture in-game, just for her. In that way, it's almost completely unobtrusive; the romantic impact happens later, after the game. Like what Urpriest proposed, but with an actual gift.

People put too much emphasis on big romantic gestures; sometimes, the ones that nobody notices (other than the two of you) are just as good.

Okay, I'm behind this completely, except that I'm reading it over and over again looking for hidden purple text. It has to be there somewhere :smalltongue:

[Kesnit]

My advice? Let her character stumble upon a nonmagical, nondescript item, matching one you plan to give her later (although she shouldn't know at the time). A small brown box, a well-made but nonmagical piece of jewelry, etc. Later on, after the session, you give her the item (box of chocolates, jewelry, etc.) in real life, using the exact same words you used during the game. (Example: "You find a small, wrapped brown box. It's not magical, but you get the feeling it was intended for you.") That's the moment it clicks for her, the moment she realizes that you made a special, secret romantic gesture in-game, just for her. In that way, it's almost completely unobtrusive; the romantic impact happens later, after the game. Like what Urpriest proposed, but with an actual gift.

Here's my position on being the spectator - super awkward. Look, sweeping romantic gestures are great. I'm a fan. But I also realize that they can be awkward, both for the recipient and for the spectators. If the audience knows you're adorably in love, that's fine, but pushing it on them like that is, well, pushing it. My advice is to do something minor in game, something that she'll notice but think nothing of, that you can turn into something bigger after everyone has gone home.

People put too much emphasis on big romantic gestures; sometimes, the ones that nobody notices (other than the two of you) are just as good.

OK, I love this. Now to find something appropriate to give her, that would also work as something in a dungeon...

[Red Fel]

Okay, I'm behind this completely, except that I'm reading it over and over again looking for hidden purple text. It has to be there somewhere :smalltongue:

I may be Evil, chief, but love is love. I respect that.

Besides, sometimes the best way to benefit is simply to do something for nothing.


OK, I love this. Now to find something appropriate to give her, that would also work as something in a dungeon...

The trick is in the descriptions. Any object can be described so innocuously as to qualify it as a piece of debris. My advice would be to purchase the gift, and then work up an unassuming description. For example, if you get a locket or something like that, "You find a small silvery locket. It doesn't appear to be magical, but it looks like it's well-made." Or anything you could put into a box - candy, jewelry, miscellanea - you can simply describe the box. "A small, unattended (COLOR) box lays here. You feel like it was intended to be found."

Get the gift first, then work up a description and stuff it off to one side. There's all sorts of debris in dungeons - discarded armor here, some collapsed brick there, an empty sack here. You could even have it jostling around in a skeleton's ribcage or sitting on a pile of assorted doodads gathered by a hoarding goblin. It adds a certain sense of accomplishment, too - say the party kills the skeleton, and finds the object rattling around in its skull. Anytime anyone asks her, "I love that bracelet, where did you get it?" She can proudly respond, "Inside of a skull!"

True love, ladies and gentlemen, means cleaning the gore off of your gifts before giving them.

[Cruiser1]

I'd recommend something a bit more subtle than roses popping out of the wall, though. Maybe finding a locket with a romantic inscription as part of the treasure, or finding a stash of love letters in a hidden compartment somewhere. Not directly about the character, but it gets the point across.

One option is to make the dungeon Valentine's Day themed in general. Have the walls painted red and pink, roses growing in any dirt patches, frescoes of young lovers frolicking, baby angels with a bow and arrows flying around as good aligned NPC's, and so on. :smallbiggrin:

That doesn't single out your wife in any special way, but makes it so everybody in the group can enjoy the fluff. If do you have a special gift for just your wife, its introduction needs to be handled appropriately, otherwise somebody else might take it, the party might leave it behind or destroy it, etc.