Let's Optimize a Closet!

[With a box]

http://www.closetpro.com/images/closet-pro-closet-680.jpg
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what it can do with a lot of enchentment and spells?

a thrower that use clothes as improvised throwing weapon?

P.S: yes, I'm inspried by name of this thread (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?397580-Closet-Optimizing)

[Flickerdart]

To everyone that's going to suggest we awaken it, only humanoid-shaped constructs can be awakened. However, we can get a permanent animated object in a couple of ways (such as Urban Druid for a small one), it'd just be unintelligent.

Isn't there an Iron Maiden in BoVD? We could use that as the base for a deadly deadly closet.

You could also start with a caster and turn them into a closet (with hoard gullet for instance).

[Vhaidara]

You could also start with a caster and turn them into a closet (with hoard gullet for instance).

We could also make a Psionic Closet.

[Segev]

The first step to optimizing a closet is obviously to start expanding its interior. I suggest Enveloping Pits on the inner side of each door, and on each wall, and the floor and ceiling.

Of course, you can take this considerably further. As with portable holes, nothing prevents enveloping pits from being inside inveloping pits. Put a handle on top of your closet, like a drawer, and insert it into an enveloping pit on a hinged board, which you fold up into a valise-sized handled case. Preferably with some sort of hooks or other mounting devices so you could mount it on a wall if that was more convenient.

[Flickerdart]

We could also make a Psionic Closet.
Interesting thought. I was going to suggest Control Body but that also requires humanoid physiology...

[Doctor Awkward]

After animating it, the Silent Portal spell could be cast on the closet doors and drawers, causing them to not make a sound when opened.
Then we'd have a ninja closet.

[Telonius]

I'm thinking, resetting Prestidigitation trap for a dirty clothes hamper.

I'd be kind of wary about putting extradimensional spaces into the closet. All you'd need to do is forget you're carrying a Handy Haversack once, and suddenly you've been sucked to the Astral Plane.

[Vhaidara]

Gazebo Jones (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=9823824&postcount=132) would also be a highly optimized closet.

[Oddman80]

Ring gates? to the Plane of Clothing?

[Telonius]

Ring gates? to the Plane of Clothing?

And one to the Frostfell. (Lamp-post and Satyr guardian on the other side optional).

[Troacctid]

I like the idea of lining a compartment with blue ice so that it doubles as a mini-fridge.

[Inevitability]

I like the idea of lining a compartment with blue ice so that it doubles as a mini-fridge.

Blue ice? That's so 2014... Why not use Brown Mold, for that little bit of organic flavour?

Also, if we Animate the closet, cast Power Word Petrify on it, proceed to Stone Shape it into a humanoid closet, and cast Ruby Ray of Reversal to undo the petrification, we have ourselves a neat little humanoid-shaped closet.

[Telonius]

Wondrous Item: Mothball of Repel Vermin (continuous). As created by a Ranger, 3(spell level)*5(caster level)*2000=30,000gp.

[Thurbane]

Acts as the secondary function of a Rod of Splendor...

[Elricaltovilla]

The closet should probably have a permanencied Unseen Servant in it to help keep it organized and all the clothes folded and put away.

[nedz]

A Clothier's Closet Living Spell [Brd 2, Sor/Wiz 2 — Magic of Eberron page 94]
Everywhere it goes it leaves stacks of garments in it's trail.

[Brookshw]

I think we'd need to start here (http://www.nuklearpower.com/2002/07/29/episode-178-a-little-bit-of-confusion/) and then move on. The bar's set at invincibility and killing vampires.

Also extra dimensional spaces seem like a horrible idea if we want to see our clothes again, just think about socks and dryers!

[ekarney]

This thread is going places.
What if the closet start out as an intelligent item or is an item familiar, gets animated, permanencied, someone with Woodcrafting ranks hacks at it, then the closet gets incarnate construct cast on it, the closet would then be able to start taking class levels right?

Druid closets, Avenging the trees used to make them by turning into bears.

[nedz]

This thread is going places.
What if the closet start out as an intelligent item or is an item familiar, gets animated, permanencied, someone with Woodcrafting ranks hacks at it, then the closet gets incarnate construct cast on it, the closet would then be able to start taking class levels right?

Druid closets, Avenging the trees used to make them by turning into bears.

You missed the bit where only the sides and bottom get whittled away leaving only 4 poles supporting the top — and then you animate it ...

[deuxhero]

Wondrous Item: Mothball of Repel Vermin (continuous). As created by a Ranger, 3(spell level)*5(caster level)*2000=30,000gp.

An archivist is much cheaper.

[Invader]

I feel like Cloistered Closet 5 is a good base to jump into Holt Wardrobe, and finish with Armoire Heirophant.

[IZ42]

I'd suggest getting a Mage's Magnificent Mansion cast inside the thing, however, that only lasts 2 Hours/Level, so I don't think that's entirely optimal. Of course, a permanencied Ironwood spell might make it a bit tougher. Possibly designate it as a Holy Altar of the god of clothing and get Hallow cast upon, then pick another spell to cast upon, which will remain in the area for a year.

Perhaps permanencied Mage's Private Sanctum, or Prismatic Wall?

[nedz]

An archivist is much cheaper.

Maybe he was optimising for maximum cost ?

[CIDE]

At least one of its drawers needs to be a bag of devouring.

[Dromuthra]

Opening the doors should trigger a self-resetting Gate trap to Frostfell...

[ILM]

Alternative thought: Fiend of Possession possessing the closet?