Refining my novel - I could use some help.

[Talanic]

Hey all. I wrote a novel this past NaNoWriMo. I had fun, I learned about myself and I expanded my skills. I'd like to do something more with it.

I let the project lie fallow for a couple of months, and now I'm in the throes of editing it. Apart from the denouement (which I'm ripping apart tomorrow) I think that it's gone almost as far as it can with just my eyes on it; I need more people to give me feedback or I'll get stuck editing and re-editing without improving anything. Ideally, I'd like to finish it within the next week or two in order to try it out in Kindle Scout.

A friend is working on a cover. I haven't seen it yet, but I'm hopeful.

Here's the Google Document (https://docs.google.com/document/d/1cEJ4jcPl5uR4NZg3vtsvt5opux0Ezu4fn9EaqOJNOA4/edit?usp=sharing). It should allow comments, but I think they might only be available if you have a Gmail account.

I also have a number of between-chapter vignettes that explore the setting. Here they are, although they'll need some specific editing for styles - I don't capture the arrogance of a prince properly in one, and a couple others are supposed to have more of the fairy tale patterns than they currently hold, but I could still use some feedback (https://docs.google.com/document/d/1dVuCEWIp4SDDwDLEHPiB3-Qqqkczsl9JOh91dw_0v54/edit?usp=sharing).

The back-of-the-cover blurb, which is also up for critique:

Samantha Underwood's weirdest Saturday ever sees her slip from the woods of Wisconsin into an ancient Sumerian giantslayer's otherworldly home. A few new friends and a dead enemy later, she limps home with widely expanded horizons, and has learned the first of many secrets: Not only are monsters real, mortals who defeat them absorb the powers of their kill. And she now has the magic of the elves.

She soon finds herself hosting the Eternal Sidekick in her apartment and juggling her job with lessons from an ancient Arabian queen and the son of a Norse god. All of them encourage her to live as a mortal while she still can, but it may already be too late: She's stumbled into a mystical trap - one not set for her; one meant for someone with far more experience. And if she's not careful, she might have eternity to pay for her mistakes.

[Grinner]

Unfortunately, that's a lot of text for anyone to edit, and that's why editing is a full-time profession.

I just paged through it a bit, and nothing I read struck me as being bad. If I didn't have three books I need to get back to the library, I'd probably give it a little more time.

One thing you might consider doing is shortening the first sentence to something like "My last day being normal gave me no warning." As is, it's a little hard to digest. Kinda turns me away.

Also, I love that blurb. :smallbiggrin:

[Talanic]

I understand. Impressions and gut reactions are about what I'm looking for; a simple 'this entertained me' or 'this threw me off' is invaluable to me at this stage.

I'm good as far as the mechanics go, but there's a limit to how well I can critique my own work.

I will give due consideration to the first line - it is, after all, the most important.

I'm also adding a link to my vignettes to the first post. These are a number of setting-building non-sequitur tales from the different realms in the setting; they are much shorter and probably need more work. It's five tales on ten pages total.