best one liners

[geekintheground]

story time! whats the best one liner you or someone in your group have used?

[Thrice Dead Cat]

You may be better off in the general Roleplaying section on the forums, but I can contribute at least one good one-liner from a Star Wars Saga Edition game I was in a few years back.

After trailing some possible Sith in the Old Republic, we eventually found a Sith apprentice with a battle droid in some sort of research facility. The GM, doing his best growling Sith voice goes, "I hope to supply some sport before you face my master." Without missing a beat, I quipped "So you expect to die?"

The poor SoB didn't even get a turn. IIRC, we were about 8th level. I was playing a Gunslinger using the knockdown talent and we had a solid Jedi in the party. I managed to kneecap the apprentice while the Jedi pancaked him into the wall with his battle droid. We didn't know until after that session, but the GM used a sample NPC from the back of one of the Saga Edition books for poor Marr "We taught him wrong... as a joke," former Sith Apprentice. To this day, we he still hasn't lived it down.

[Kid Jake]

It was in my M&M game; a Russian human trafficker specializing in black market babies was holding a gun on an infant and screaming for the PCs to let him walk out or he was going to kill it. He was backing towards the door while the Badass Normal DHS agent kept explaining that he was authorized to use deadly force if necessary.

The guy finally has enough and aims at the agent while using the baby as a human shield; the agent quickdraws his gun the second the guy stops aiming at the baby, fires off a shot that blows the back of the guy's head off and just sits there while the superpowered stripper dives to catch the infant before it can hit the ground.

The agent holsters his gun, turns and starts walking up the stairs to check out the rest of the house.

As she's cradling the screaming baby, she shouts after him "You unfeeling a**hole, he had a baby!"

The agent stops in his tracks, turns around and says "Had being the operative word. Now we have the baby."

[geekintheground]

oh yeah, forgot the forum had other sections XD i'll head over there

[Douglas]

The GM, doing his best growling Sith voice goes, "I hope to supply some sport before you face my master." Without missing a beat, I quipped "So you expect to die?"
Well, that is what I read the Sith's line as implying.:smallamused:

Oh, and moved.

[EccentricCircle]

"You might have heard of some of my more famous exploits, I once stole the Six Scintillating Sapphires from the Sept of the Sect of Set.. and not many people can say that!"

[mikeejimbo]

This is actually a reoccurring line, but "I'm eight!!" whenever my immortal eight year old or his twin brother do something tactically questionable.

[Jay R]

The party were attacked by goblins, who used crude spears and clubs. When the goblins were all killed, one of the players asked me if any of the goblin's gear was worth looting.

"I invite you to consider all the ramifications of the phrase, 'crudely-made club'."

----------------

We had to rescue a party member from a succubus he had gone off to.
Him: I had to. She was smokin' hot.
Me: That's supposed to be a metaphor.

---------------

"Love is one of the strongest and most mysterious forces of the universe. Of course, controlling arcane cosmic forces is what wizards do. Maybe we should research a spell for it?"

[Thrice Dead Cat]

Well, that is what I read the Sith's line as implying.:smallamused:


Like I said, there's a reason years later whenever we get the band back together we still joke about the poorly trained Sith Mart. :smallbiggrin:

[Baitdoll]

You may be better off in the general Roleplaying section on the forums, but I can contribute at least one good one-liner from a Star Wars Saga Edition game I was in a few years back.

After trailing some possible Sith in the Old Republic, we eventually found a Sith apprentice with a battle droid in some sort of research facility. The GM, doing his best growling Sith voice goes, "I hope to supply some sport before you face my master." Without missing a beat, I quipped "So you expect to die?"

The poor SoB didn't even get a turn. IIRC, we were about 8th level. I was playing a Gunslinger using the knockdown talent and we had a solid Jedi in the party. I managed to kneecap the apprentice while the Jedi pancaked him into the wall with his battle droid. We didn't know until after that session, but the GM used a sample NPC from the back of one of the Saga Edition books for poor Marr "We taught him wrong... as a joke," former Sith Apprentice. To this day, we he still hasn't lived it down.

Not only am i confused of the one liner here, but your signature. Yugi does not falcon punch things. Just... just so much wrongness.

[Suteinu]

The Jester: "That bow you're using is much smaller that the daikyu you had before."

The Samurai: "Hankyu."

The Jester: "You're welcome."

[Poolol]

In a D&D 3.5 game, the party were visiting an elemental weird - essentially an oracle tied to a specific element and specific location. Elemental weirds are, straight up, not that daunting in combat but they can cast about a billion divination spells at will as a free action, so if you have a plan you can bet they'll know it already.

The party briefly considered attacking her and, not wanting to wipe them I offered a Knowledge roll to see what the team knew of weirds. The Sorcerer rolls pretty well.

DM: Weirds are tough, but not unbeatable. However, they have nearly unprecedented foresight and are impossible to surprise.
Sorcerer: So she can see the future? She'll see anything coming?
DM: Right, she can easily see everything that lies ahead.

The Sorcerer pauses for a moment.

Sorcerer: Guys! We need to attack her from behind!

[Sith_Happens]

Elemental weirds are, straight up, not that daunting in combat

...They're 17th level Sorcerers.

[Kol Korran]

- In a short lived campaign, we had a rogue halfling who kept a respectable manner, for a short while. He tried keeping them, all covered in blood and pieces of his enemies "I am but an honest business man!" Which he kept repeating through various acts of murder, theft, poisoning and so on. It became the catchphrase of anyone proclaiming what he is most obviously isn't.

- FATE core is excellent for this. In fate you build aspects, which re short sentences that can give you bonuses to if the situations applies.

We had a one armed priest in aa post apocalyptic setting. He kept doing all kind of odd and "priestly stuff" such as demolition, shooting people, and more. His aspect? "Ain't always been a priest!"

- in a pirate campaign, two 3rd level PCs are washed ashore. They have escaped capture by a 9th level fugitive hunter, and his fleet of 300+ soldiers. The other 2 PCs were captured, and were about to be executed, and kept till then in a make shift prison, in an unknown locations.
PC1: What are we gonna do now now? No equipment, no ship, the island is crawling with soldiers, and they are captured.
PC2: You listen to me! We're going to infiltrate the town, raise a resistance, find our people, free them, steal their flag ship, and escape the blockade on this island!
PC1: Are you INSANE?! :smalleek:
(One VERY fun session afterwards, , where they did manage it, albeit two deaths, upon the ship sailing free)
PC2 Kneels before PC1: My Captain! :smallsmile:

[EccentricCircle]

Ariadne: "If this jailbreak is going to work I'm going to need to buy a few things."
Fence: "Go on"
Ariadne: "I'll need copies of all my allies favourite weapons, a bag of holding, five smoke sticks and an immovable rod."
Fence: "Why an immovable rod?"
Ariadne: "They're nifty... They don't move."

It worked too.

[Thrathgnar]

"I DON'T SPEAK WEAKNESS" -The Talking Horse

[(Un)Inspired]

3.5 DnD, the low level party is in a tavern questioning a barmaid for information on a series of robberies that had happened in town. The barmaid was being flirty and evasive.

The paladin is starting to get uncomfortable and demands that the girl stop being coy.

The barmaid motions to the paladin to lean in as if she is going to let him in on a secret. When he complies, she instead plants a kiss on his cheek saying, "That ones gonna cost you sweetie!"

Without missing a beat, the bard grabs the girl, dips her, plants an incredibly passionate kiss on her lips, and tells her:

"Keep the change."