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Chalcid
2015-02-28, 01:12 PM
Greetings,

I had this homebrew concept ratttling around my head for a while and was hoping you guys could help by applying some constructive criticism. It is mostly a implementation of the Vermin Lord prestige class from 3.5 flavored as a Warlock Patron (seemed to fit the most). Any help would be greatly appreciated.

https://www.dropbox.com/s/n3u6hfqw371dhav/Patron_The%20Vermin.txt?dl=0

Edit: Took some of the advice and detailed/restructured the abilities, further comments always helpful.

Amnoriath
2015-02-28, 01:33 PM
I will say that you know what you want to do and this is one of the more important things to know when making homebrew. Your spells are just perfect as they are, but you need to either add or work out a few things with your abilities.
1. Your first level feature is strictly worse than the Dragon Sorcerer's. I actually have one that starts out quite similar. So you need to add to it.
2. Your next one is something in which no one else gets. A 9d6 area attack at will is just simply unheard of and doesn't make all that much sense to focus on when there is more tricky/useful things to do emulating vermin. Traditionally this is a level to give a reactionary defense.
3. Your 10th level has no time specifications nor explanation to how it works to initiate. Also flanking is part of an alternative Facing rules so don't make a feature dependent off rules most are going to use.
4. Again this feature is worse the Dragon Sorcerer's as you effectively ban use of stealth.
5. You need more flavor as to where/what this Patron is and why as a character/person the Warlock would choose to be a part of it.