sage20500
2015-03-03, 04:24 AM
http://nat1blogging.tumblr.com/post/70382833799/tariqk-nat1blogging-christmas-type-furret
Stuff like that, just campaign's or sessions you've either played in, or come across upon, what are some of your favorite reads for events that have happened which may have been epic, hilarious, tragic, involving 1 or more Henderson's, but most of all, memorable. Finding stories like the link above seems like an interesting way to pass this week by.
As an added bonus, for anyone here who may actually not know what a Henderson is, here's two bonus links!
http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Old_Man_Henderson
http://1d4chan.org/wiki/That_Guy_Destroys_Psionics
LoyalPaladin
2015-03-03, 10:30 AM
Actually, just last week we were passing out invitations for a noble house and one of the invites had to go to a very prestigious bard was to be invited in a fashion that would impress her. So to do this, my Paladin and the Wizard worked together to make something truly spectacular.
I am an Aasimar with houseruled wings of an angel. (They don't function, due to backstory drama.) So as an Aasimar I cast Daylight on my armor and the Wizard teleported me about 400 feet into the air while simultaneously casting Feather Fall on me.
So as soon as she finished her song, a shining angel of a man floated down in front of her, with his wings outstretched. For more effect I landed on one knee and made sure to call her madam. She bought it, we succeeded, free exp.
Mail with Torm Express, we deliver where angels fear to tread.*
*We use Paladins, they are immune to fear.
Doctor Awkward
2015-03-03, 01:58 PM
I have a pretty good one I heard at a gaming convention a few years back that I haven't seen online yet.
The guy telling the story was in a 3.5 campaign being run by one of his best friends. He was playing a half-ogre barbarian that was a little on the slow side , hardly ever spoke, and frequently walked around with the blood of his enemies caked onto his armor.
So in the midst of the party trying to rescue an NPC as part of a quest, they came across a woman tied to a tree who cried out to them for help. Naturally, hey immediately rushed over and released her, only to find out that she was a witch who had tricked them into coming closer so would have an easier time catching them all with AoE spells. They won the fight, but the barbarian was so irritated at falling for the trick that he vowed, in character, that the next unfamiliar NPC to urgently demand their help in that manner would get a +1 greataxe to the face.
Flash-forward to their next encounter and the party is accidentally transported to a town being overrun by undead. As they approach the town, a 7-year-old-girl runs up to the group, crying, and begs them to help her find her dog. The barbarian looks at the rest of the group, and they look back at him in abject terror as he proceeds to crit the child's face off. Literally.
Except instead of blood pouring out, her head split open and a lich sprang out from her remains. Apparently, the group was supposed to fight their way through the town, only to find out that the girl was the lich in disguise the whole time.
They made short work of the lich, and the group could only marvel at the results of the barbarian's reckless (albeit consistent) act of total insanity.
Later, the DM told him that, when the guy made that vow, it took everything he had not to burst out laughing after he realized the very next NPC they would meet was that little girl/lich.
sage20500
2015-03-03, 03:55 PM
I have a pretty good one I heard at a gaming convention a few years back that I haven't seen online yet.
The guy telling the story was in a 3.5 campaign being run by one of his best friends. He was playing a half-ogre barbarian that was a little on the slow side , hardly ever spoke, and frequently walked around with the blood of his enemies caked onto his armor.
So in the midst of the party trying to rescue an NPC as part of a quest, they came across a woman tied to a tree who cried out to them for help. Naturally, hey immediately rushed over and released her, only to find out that she was a witch who had tricked them into coming closer so would have an easier time catching them all with AoE spells. They won the fight, but the barbarian was so irritated at falling for the trick that he vowed, in character, that the next unfamiliar NPC to urgently demand their help in that manner would get a +1 greataxe to the face.
Flash-forward to their next encounter and the party is accidentally transported to a town being overrun by undead. As they approach the town, a 7-year-old-girl runs up to the group, crying, and begs them to help her find her dog. The barbarian looks at the rest of the group, and they look back at him in abject terror as he proceeds to crit the child's face off. Literally.
Except instead of blood pouring out, her head split open and a lich sprang out from her remains. Apparently, the group was supposed to fight their way through the town, only to find out that the girl was the lich in disguise the whole time.
They made short work of the lich, and the group could only marvel at the results of the barbarian's reckless (albeit consistent) act of total insanity.
Later, the DM told him that, when the guy made that vow, it took everything he had not to burst out laughing after he realized the very next NPC they would meet was that little girl/lich.
Oh god that was freaking bloody brilliant! Cudos to the dm for keeping his poker face.
urokia
2015-03-04, 04:00 AM
tl;dr undead misfits destroy a city instead of just one building
I played in a game with some friends, specifically an evil campaign with home brewed undead template races (DM made them) that wouldn't have a level adjust and for some reason had constitution scores, so I played an barbarian skeleton halfling. W were given and order to destroy a guard barracks in a larger town. We disguised ourselves and entered the city. I managed to find a "white powder demolitions merchant." (In our campaigns, white powder is basically more powerful but unstable gunpowder. Think c4 on magical steroids) I bought 10 pounds of the stuff because I figured it'd be useful to destroy the barracks. We found the barracks and wanted to stake it out from the next door mage guild but weren't allowed to because of a "highly dangerous alchemical experiment" happening on the top floor.
We found a drunk passed out in an alley behind a tavern, and had the elf vampire bard distract everyone while we gut the drunk. I stuffed 10 pounds of white powder into the corpse and the human ghoul rouge put a pressure release trigger on the white powder. After that we went and found the guards, our half-elf zombie cleric using her womanly wiles to have the guards help right away. They drag the corpse of the drunkard to the guard barracks and we book it. After we're out of the city the DM starts laughing as he makes some rolls, and shakes his head.
Turns out he made some roles when I purchased that white powder, which is apparently illegal. The merchant got caught but not me, and so he and his 300 lbs of white powder were in the basement of the guard barracks for evidence and questioning. He simply stated that we could see the mushroom cloud from 4 miles away easily, and the shock wave tore leaves from the trees nearby us.
Then I asked the question that made the DM light up with glee. "What about the mage's guild's experiment next door?"
His eyes were full of life and fire as he says "Meta game time, the city is completely gone. You guys are blasted away dozens of feet, taking minimal damage. And you're the lucky ones."
sage20500
2015-03-05, 01:15 AM
tl;dr undead misfits destroy a city instead of just one building
I played in a game with some friends, specifically an evil campaign with home brewed undead template races (DM made them) that wouldn't have a level adjust and for some reason had constitution scores, so I played an barbarian skeleton halfling. W were given and order to destroy a guard barracks in a larger town. We disguised ourselves and entered the city. I managed to find a "white powder demolitions merchant." (In our campaigns, white powder is basically more powerful but unstable gunpowder. Think c4 on magical steroids) I bought 10 pounds of the stuff because I figured it'd be useful to destroy the barracks. We found the barracks and wanted to stake it out from the next door mage guild but weren't allowed to because of a "highly dangerous alchemical experiment" happening on the top floor.
We found a drunk passed out in an alley behind a tavern, and had the elf vampire bard distract everyone while we gut the drunk. I stuffed 10 pounds of white powder into the corpse and the human ghoul rouge put a pressure release trigger on the white powder. After that we went and found the guards, our half-elf zombie cleric using her womanly wiles to have the guards help right away. They drag the corpse of the drunkard to the guard barracks and we book it. After we're out of the city the DM starts laughing as he makes some rolls, and shakes his head.
Turns out he made some roles when I purchased that white powder, which is apparently illegal. The merchant got caught but not me, and so he and his 300 lbs of white powder were in the basement of the guard barracks for evidence and questioning. He simply stated that we could see the mushroom cloud from 4 miles away easily, and the shock wave tore leaves from the trees nearby us.
Then I asked the question that made the DM light up with glee. "What about the mage's guild's experiment next door?"
His eyes were full of life and fire as he says "Meta game time, the city is completely gone. You guys are blasted away dozens of feet, taking minimal damage. And you're the lucky ones."
That was pretty funny X)
sage20500
2015-03-06, 03:13 AM
Ok, so time for a story that happened in one of my own D&D campaign groups, an event that has been since then always been referred to as "The Red Wedding" (Please don't sue us Martin, we have multiple reasons to call it this). It happens to be that this event came up during a 4e adventure, but please don't hold it against us, most of the players at the time were still pretty new to D&D and it was the DM's first time running a game, and it just so happened that this adventure was one of the pre set up materials that I happened to own for him to use.
Ok, so first off, The Situation
A merchant from somewhere above ground has recently lost contact with a major supplier of mushrooms from the Underdark, and after sending in an original party of heroes to solve the matter, and then learning of the very quick demise, decides to send in a much different group of specialists in order to find out just what the hell is going on, and if the problem is solvable, to then fix it by any means necessary so long as it ends with him getting his supply of mushrooms again.
The Setting:
This group was doing a one shot module called Demon Queen's Enclave, so the party is down in the Underdark stuck in a Drow Outpost that up until recently had been overrun by the undead. The only survivors aside from the party is a Drow Wizard/Necromancer who's camped out somewhere in the town area, and the Matron and her attendants that are holed up in the temple.
Now then, for the "Heroes" of this tale:
Tymphe, the Tiefling Battlemind: Tymphe, an unaligned feisty redheaded Tiefling with a hammer who don't need no man, was a follower of Hoar who was journeying with the party to find out what had happened to the only surviving member of the previous group of heroes, a Goblin Paladin of The Raven Queen named Eustace who's soul has not only been taken from his body, but his physical body has been cursed so that when ever he dies he will reappear in a new body within a few moments with all of his memories of his previous live's intact. Needless to say, Eustace himself at this point in time was a sometimes gibbering or sometimes catatonic mess of mental issues.
Briarthorn, the Tiefling Warlock: While his player sheet said he was unaligned, the DM will even say that this guy was freaking evil. Hired on to the group as the parties "Negotiator", Briar as he called himself was a Infernal and Dark Pact Warlock who specialized in making people suffer and wish they want to die. AKA his character sheet was built around him doing ongoing damage and making people regret saving from said save end's effects by causing them to be burned and frozen at the same time when ever they did so. Other fun facts about Briar include that he was one of the only two characters in the group with the Arcana skill, but the player himself never had any freaking luck when making Arcana checks. He literally never rolled anything higher than a 3 during the entire 3 months it took us to play this module through. The guy just had no freaking luck at all with those checks, much to the rest of the groups amusement at how the DM spoke of his failures.
Mon'ro'ro the Drow Cleric of Lolth: Ah yes, the "unaligned" cleric, where to begin with 'Ro'ro(just going to refer to her as Ro from now on.) So, Ro was a Warpriest of Lolth, who loved using her triple headed flail to get her way. She was originally assigned to the group by the Matron in order to guide them to find out what was causing the Undead issue from earlier, as well as to keep an eye on them while they did so, and once they were finished solving the issue, kill them so that the Matron wouldn't have any more problems. Over the course of the adventure though Ro's survival instincts started kicking in, and like all good drow do in this kind of situation, began to think that maybe instead of backstabbing the party, she should try and convince the party to back-stab the matron instead in order to move in and fill the vacant seat of power once the competition was out of the way. Really funny how things worked out for her in the end.
Quilenna the Eladrin Warlord: Ah, Quilenna, AKA as the yelling princess. A slightly air headed member of the party, Quilenna was the only actual good character in this entire group, and was only journeying with us because she somehow managed to get herself lost while she was trying to teleport. Quilenna was a lazy lord character, and as such really only saw herself as a good luck charm to the group because when ever she screamed for people to do stuff, they did it. The other member of the party that had good Arcana skills, and thankfully so because the former couldn't make a role to save his life. Also was apparently a master of disguise, through out the campaign she managed to come across so many items that gave her a circumstancial disguise bonus to looking like a drow, that she made everyone else in that they ran into begin to doubt whether the actual other two drow were in fact actually drow. Also the time where she used her knowledge of the Arcane to tune the resident drow ipod shuffle in order to play some disney music as a motivational boost through the use of disney sing alongs.
Archer the Drow Seeker/Ranger: Finally we have Archer, ah Archer, so many good times with him. The group's resisdent scout and sniper, Archer was an unaligned spell scarred drow assassin for hire who had escaped the Underdark long ago in order to live his life on the surface in relitive peace, making a heck of a living getting paid by various guild to kill off people that pissed them off. The easy life and all that fun stuff. He was the group's resident guide who knew exactly how to get the group to and from the Outpost and the Surface not only in one piece but without becoming helplessly lost and doomed to die (A fact that he frequently brought up when ever Briar began to talk about potentially wanting to off him in order to recieve a bigger share of treasure at the end,). Archer was a rather interesting guy who took pride in his marksmanship, was at times refered to by various members of the party as "The God Damned Batman" from one of his more interesting spell scarred affected dailies he used alot earlier in the campaign, who over the course of the journey found his religion as he realised how effective it was to murderify both undead and drow alike with bolts of light as he joined the order of Morninglords to purify the Underdark of its threats. Other fun facts with him include the a time where he developed Ghost Sound as an at will cantrip, which thanks to his spell scar turned him into an Ipod shuffle of theme music that he had no control over. I still remember that at one point during the adventure he was used as a decoy to keep a group of drow guards busy in order to buy time while the rest of the party prepared something major. *Cue dramatic parkour chase scene as the guards try and follow a shadowy figure that is free running in circles around them while dramatic mission impposible theme music is loudly filling the air*
Leading up to the main event
So the party had just gotten done with slaying the vampire who was the cause of the undead incursion, and after coming back and informing the Matron of their success, were told that she had one more task for them to do before she'd gain back control of the outpost and begin to reopen trade with the surface. Apparently she had grown tired of the Drow Wizard who was outside somewhere in the city not listening to her orders, and she wanted us to kill him. Seeing as we couldn't really say no to this offer, we agreed and left, and began to get ready for the fight ahead. Upon meeting back up with the Wizard, being the good drow he is, he began to offer us a counter offer to let him live and kill the Matron instead. At this point 'Ro pops in with her opinion about how the Matron is probably going to back-stab us even if we kill the Wizard, and since the Wizard has actually been the only one in this entire forsaken city who has been actively helping us while we have been here, we decide to go for the gamble. So the new plan is to kill the Matron and any of her followers that don't accept the new change of leadership that follows, have 'Ro step up and become the new Matron of the city, and out of sight let the Wizard actually take control of all the power in the city while he opens back up trade with the surface in order to gather more funds for his experiments. Best plan ever, I know.
Almost there
So now with the new plan in ready, the group begins to make its trek back through the abandoned city back towards the top of the spire that the temple is on. At some point during this journey, Archer being the paranoid sniper he is, decides to actually make a spot and listen check.... and then within a second after making said check proceeds to spin around in slow motion bullet time as he takes aim with his bow at a shadow inbetween a couple of pillars, and lights it up like the 4th of July with a barrage of arrows.
When the group proceeds to ask "What the everlasting hell are you doing?" He points out to them the image of the shadow of a drow that had been standing there that was now burned into the stone wall (I critted twice on a triple shot power, apparently the amount of radiant damage to the poor SOB was in the overkill zone.) 'Ro then realises that the Matron apparently had already decided to go ahead with the double crossing and had sent her pet assassin out to take care of us. Everyone in the group was now rightfully even more pissed and thus we hurried even faster towards the bitch that we now really wanted to kill.
The only issue we had though was that the temple was pretty much sealed up tight, and everyone remembered the crap load of guardian golems that were guarding the front hallways, and none of us really wanted to deal with any of the crap. So instead, we decided to do the totally smart thing, we circled around to the back of the hill that the temple stood on, and proceeded to climb up the 50-70ft vertical stone cliff face in order to enter in through not very well guarded back door that was actually there. Seriously, the map actually had a back door listed there, and it was protected only by a simple non magical lock... in the middle of a city full of drow and beast's that can totally climb walls like spiders... we never really could figure that one out
The Wedding
So, the group has just scaled the 70ft vertical wall to get to the now unlocked backdoor, well, most of the group has scaled the wall, Briar being the hopeless player he is had to be carried up the wall like a sack of potatoes by Tymphe because he didn't have the skills needed to do it, anyways, the group is now inside the main part of the temple, and we're now climbing down the stairs in order to try and sneak into the place so that we can find the room the Matron is in, kill her, and then proceed forward with our plan of hostile take over. Cue dramatic crashing scene as the tiefling were scale armor totally flubs her stealth check and her pet insane brain dead goblin does something which causes alot of noise, and leads to more than a few Drow Templars rushing in who proceed to demand to know what is going on as they get ready to kill us all.
At which point Quilenna, who I remind you not only has the disguise score of win, but also apparently had the bluff score of WIN, yells out the first thing that came to her mind. "We're here for the wedding!"
I'm not joking, that was exactly what her player actually said as the DM was explaining what was happening, and as soon as they said it the DM told them to go ahead and roll the check. They rolled a nat 20. With their modifiers they apparently succeeded the dc needed to pull a fast one over every single one of the templars by so much, that the templar's stowed their weapons, apologised, and began to help us set up for the wedding of the two Tieflings Tymphe and Briarthorn, who apparently durign the course of saving the city, had come to realise how much they meant to each other, and couldn't bear to spend another moment apart. 'Ro offer's to oversee the ceremony since she is the 2nd Priestess in charge at the Temple of Lolth, and in full view in front of all of their friends and the drow templars, Tymphe and Briar are pronounced Wife and Man-whore/Slave in the eyes of Lolth. To which at this point the Matron enters into the temple pissed off about the fact that no one had told her that there was a wedding going on, and it was her duty as Matron to give the Bride and Slave the blessing of Lolth. She freeze's in place as soon as she see's who exactly is all inside the chaple.
Que Surprise Round! So surprisingly for once, Tymphe is going first on the initiative order. She winds up with her hammer and proceeds to lay down the smack with a fully power pointed charged Gravity Well, hitting the Matron so that she is stuck in place for the next turn and can not move. Next up come's 'Ro who lights the area up with a Brillant Censure, causing every enemy in close burst 3 that he hit to be Blinded (Save Ends) (*This effect is important I promise), He nails everyone with it.Next up comes Briar.
So Briar's Turn..., that turn was interesting. Free Action, he takes an acidic whet stone out of his bag with his tail, and as a minor action apply's it to his staff. He downgrades his move action to a minor action to curse the Matron. Standard action, he uses Maelstorm of Despair on the Matron. He hits her with it, does a small amount of damage that we don't care about, applys an instance of Ongoing 5 Acid Damage (Save Ends) from the whet stone he used, as well as ongoing 5 Fire Damage(From a feat) and Ongoing 5 Pyschic Damage (Both of which are seperate Save Ends Effects. Also, until end of the next turn, every time the Matron rolls a saving throw, she takes 12 more psychic Damage. And then Briar Action Points, and hit's the Matron with his Curse Eye Tattoo as a free action which gives her a -2 to saving Throws (Save Ends) effect, as well as his Gaze of Ruin, which hits her up with vulvernable 22 for all Damage Briar deals until the end of his next turn. He then proceeds to hit her with Twilight of the Soul, which does a little bit more damage, but also increases the ongoing fire damage to 10, and adds an Ongoing 10 Necrotic Damage (Save Ends) Effect.
Now it's Archer's turn. Seeing as things with the Matron looks like they'll be pretty wrapped up soon, he hits her with a Confounding Arrows Tripple Shot, lands all three attacks and does a pretty good portion of Damage, but more importantly, he hits her with a Stunned (Save Ends) effect. He then proceeds to action point and hits the Matron's consort with a Captivating Missile, causing him to be Dominated, (Save Ends).
Quilenna goes after this, she does her lazy lord thing and everyone in the group gets to wail on a few templars with free attacks. Surpise Round over, Matron is at the top of the Initiative Order. So at this point in time, the Matron has effectively over 12 or more different Save Ends effects on her, only 2 of which are not coming from Briar, 'Ro's blinded, and Archer's Stunned. According to the DM, she ends her turn rolling on the ground in agony, and procceeds to start rolling saves.... to which for each save she rolls she takes 34 Pyschic Damage just for rolling. Before he's actually through rolling all of her save's the DM realises that she's already taken over double the initial damage that was dealt to her during the surpise round, and has pretty much been effectively over killed because of the exploding damage she takes for actually making her saves against Briar's effects.
So the BBEG pretty much Michael Bay Splosions out of existence from over kill. Consort's turn is next, and since the consort won't surrender because he wants revenge for the death of the Matron, his turn spent dominated is used going on a stroll to prove an AoO against every single member of the party, and is then forced to melee basic attack Briar so that Tymphe's Battlemind defender abilities kick in, and she instantly crushe's his skull with a hammer for attempting to hurt her Boy Toy. After that the remaining Templar's throw down their weapons in surrender, to which 'Ro then takes over as the leading Matron, and as her first order of Matron, has all those templar executed for raising their weapons against her. Thus ends the tale of the Red Wedding. The wedding where two Tieflings were pledged as one before the eyes of Lolth, and was then consumated by the spilling blood of the followers of Lolth that were not strong enough to have seen this back-stab coming.
Epilogue
The group broke up after that. They were all paid by the guy who hired them a hefty bonus fee for working out an even better trading aggrement for him, and as they parted they all went their seperate ways.
'Ro became the new Matron of the outpost that was apparently having a secret war against the Wizard to see who was really in control.
Quilenna was teleported back home where she presented her mother the Queen with a cursed vampire's sword that was a relic of Orcas as a gift in order to prove that she was competent and totally could take care of herself.
Tymphe and Briar dissapeared off into the sunset, whether they stayed together after that whole charade or whether they seperated or if Tymphe murdered Briar for being an incompetent idiot when it came to Arcane matters no one would ever know.
Archer finally managed to retire, having earn enough money and prestige in his city that he had a mansion and all the food, women, and ale a Drow could ever need, and with the Rogue's guild indebted to him, he was never bothered as well. Though he possibly took the occasional side job to snipe down some poor fool that pissed off the wrong person. Boredom really could be such a killer thing you know.
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