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View Full Version : Kiss or Kill XCIV: Please insert weirdness to continue



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Mercenary Pen
2015-03-04, 07:49 AM
The Kiss or Kill thread returns- and basically functions in the following manner:

1- Do something, including but not limited to *kiss*ing or *kill*ing the person above you

2- Be aware that those that follow will do the same to you.

3- Enjoy

3a- Seek counselling as required after protracted exposure to chaos and weirdness.


Without further ado, *kills the white space above the first post*

Lateral
2015-03-04, 08:22 AM
*paints the white space red*

EmeraldRose
2015-03-04, 09:21 AM
*roasts the white space*

*also roasts Lateral*

*and MP who is also between me and the white space*

Zaydos
2015-03-04, 12:09 PM
*inserts weirdness into EmeraldRose*

Mercenary Pen
2015-03-04, 12:18 PM
*uses you to make a satay sauce that I will never eat*

Trevortni
2015-03-04, 12:45 PM
*Because I eat it before you get a chance!*

Haruki-kun
2015-03-04, 03:02 PM
*adds salt and pepper*

Cyber Punk
2015-03-04, 04:37 PM
*adds cream filling to the salt and pepper*

Ninjaman
2015-03-04, 04:38 PM
*Adds tikka masala*

Zaydos
2015-03-04, 04:40 PM
*bursts out of the bear-mime stealing all the seasonings that were added to me*

Haruki-kun
2015-03-04, 06:35 PM
*puts bounty on*

Torzini
2015-03-04, 06:37 PM
*chases after Zaydos with a knife and fork*

Mercenary Pen
2015-03-04, 06:39 PM
*chases after Torzini with a selection of spoons and a cheese grater*

Drakeburn
2015-03-04, 06:42 PM
*joins in the chase with salt and pepper*

Trevortni
2015-03-04, 07:28 PM
*Falls over with a Zaydos-shaped hole in my belly*

(BTW, Zaydos, you got it right in the Cute thread)

Zaydos
2015-03-04, 07:29 PM
*jumps inside of and sews shut to hide from my pursuers*

Dudeons
2015-03-04, 07:30 PM
Tally ho!

*hurls a hoe with hash marks notched in the handle*

zeifly
2015-03-04, 08:22 PM
*catches hoe and uses it to practice fighting while "I'll make a man out of you" plays in the background*

Zaydos
2015-03-04, 08:29 PM
*pilots a were-mime into combat against*

@v: It's called teamwork :smallcool:

Trevortni
2015-03-04, 08:29 PM
*Rises again, howls silently at the full moon, and traps zeifly in an invisible box*

@Zaydos: Ninja'd, but it works!

EmeraldRose
2015-03-04, 08:35 PM
*traps in a prism*

*shoots with heat vision*

*watches the lovely light show*

Cuthalion
2015-03-04, 08:36 PM
*hands a yoyo*

Drakeburn
2015-03-04, 08:45 PM
*hands a gyro*

TheCountAlucard
2015-03-04, 09:22 PM
(fires a laser into space)

goto124
2015-03-04, 09:29 PM
*starts wondering how to do a proper ball dance*

BasketOfPuppies
2015-03-04, 10:26 PM
*waltzes with*

Torzini
2015-03-05, 02:06 AM
*snatches and does a fiery tango with*

Zaydos
2015-03-05, 02:08 AM
*grabs*

*does the dinosaur with (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CPiHmqeAe_Q)*

TheCountAlucard
2015-03-05, 04:13 AM
Your signature says you're a stick, but my phone won't let me see the post it references. :smallannoyed:

(throws you for the puppies to fetch)

Mercenary Pen
2015-03-05, 04:22 AM
*sends an army of zombie crocodiles after you*

Trevortni
2015-03-05, 01:11 PM
*Covers your head in Bearnaise sauce* (https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=8T7KWV73N3s#t=87)

Drakeburn
2015-03-05, 03:55 PM
*bombards with meatballs*

TheCountAlucard
2015-03-05, 04:01 PM
(replaces your shoes with Boots of Fumbling)

(laughs as your attempts at sneaking become an exercise in hilarity)

@V: That is pretty hilarious; how did you manage to crush yourself under a mountain like that? :smallamused:

Mercenary Pen
2015-03-05, 07:50 PM
*attempts to insert a mountain into your right nostril- with hilarious results due to my ineptitude*

zeifly
2015-03-05, 09:14 PM
*shrinks mountain down into a mole hill*
this is the size it normally is :)

BasketOfPuppies
2015-03-05, 10:30 PM
*casts Otto's Irresistible Dance on*

Drakeburn
2015-03-06, 12:16 AM
*sets up the DJ equipment*

*starts playing Good Time by Owl City (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7oBU7d5oenQ)*

Mercenary Pen
2015-03-06, 05:29 AM
*replaces your hair with lukewarm custard*

Torzini
2015-03-06, 05:57 AM
*bakes a pie out of custard-hair and pushes it into TBPM's face*

Peebles
2015-03-06, 08:27 AM
*kills, but with a faint pang of regret*

goto124
2015-03-06, 09:05 AM
*casts a spotlight*

*claims to be a goddess*

*tries to Fall a paladin*

Cyber Punk
2015-03-06, 09:59 AM
*casts tickle spell on goto124*

Mercenary Pen
2015-03-06, 10:35 AM
*douses flaming eagle*

Twelvetrees
2015-03-06, 12:01 PM
*Grabs previous three posters*
*Begins juggling*

Zaydos
2015-03-06, 12:04 PM
*trips*

Mwahahaha!

Trevortni
2015-03-06, 01:21 PM
*Sends on a trip to most desired vacation spot*

Mercenary Pen
2015-03-06, 05:26 PM
*glues an infant's squeaky toy to the sole of one of your feet*

Drakeburn
2015-03-06, 10:13 PM
*activates a trapdoor under TPBM*

Dudeons
2015-03-07, 12:29 AM
*catches edge of the opening*

*dons a suit to complete my Claude cosplay (http://fc05.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2010/252/9/b/what_claude_really_is____by_xo_sebby_ox-d2ye444.jpg)*

Targ Collective
2015-03-07, 03:46 PM
*Celebrates new thread by shining with my lovely radiance*

Twelvetrees
2015-03-07, 04:34 PM
*Sets up solar panels*

TheCountAlucard
2015-03-07, 05:11 PM
(starts a group of people discussing the Chosen of the Unconquered Sun)

You were saying something about a Solar panel? :smallbiggrin:

Mercenary Pen
2015-03-07, 06:25 PM
*pours a bottle of bleach over your head*

*wonders how I liquidized an entire manga- and why*

@V: *corrects it to The twilight saga: Mango edition, because the world needs vampiric fruit*

goto124
2015-03-08, 09:00 AM
*prints The Twilight Saga - Manga Edition*

Zaydos
2015-03-08, 12:42 PM
*wonders why Edward has a giant robot in this version*

Drakeburn
2015-03-08, 02:04 PM
*burns all the Twilight Sagas*

*roasts marshmallows over*

Mercenary Pen
2015-03-08, 03:33 PM
*plants you amid the vampiric mangoes- for them to feed on*

Torzini
2015-03-08, 03:58 PM
*eats vampiric mangoes, after rubbing off the sparkles*

Angsty Anubite
2015-03-08, 05:52 PM
*sends a team of were-tomatoes to rescue the mangoes*

Zaydos
2015-03-08, 06:02 PM
*raises a horde of zombie legumes to stop the were-tomatoes*

Twelvetrees
2015-03-08, 10:46 PM
*passes peashooters to entire horde*

Dire Moose
2015-03-08, 10:48 PM
*casts Fireball on the entire garden*

TheCountAlucard
2015-03-09, 09:44 AM
(uses Plant Food on an Iceberg Lettuce to neutralize the fire)

goto124
2015-03-09, 10:46 AM
*brings in the plants from Plants vs Zombies*

*especially the Snow Peas and Winter Melons*

Zaydos
2015-03-09, 11:40 AM
*leads the plants in a bloody uprising against their human oppressors*

@v: *hands ketchup*

Just don't share it with any mimes.

Trevortni
2015-03-09, 02:27 PM
*dresses up as a tomato and asks for ketchup while eating humans*

Twelvetrees
2015-03-09, 10:28 PM
*reverses flow of time upon*

Lateral
2015-03-09, 10:51 PM
*reminds me of the babe*

Haruki-kun
2015-03-09, 11:15 PM
*wonders what babe*

goto124
2015-03-09, 11:26 PM
*becomes the babe* (http://fc09.deviantart.net/fs13/f/2007/076/d/9/savage_tales___red_sonja_cover_by_nebezial.jpg)

BasketOfPuppies
2015-03-10, 05:51 AM
*throws condiment packets at*

Mercenary Pen
2015-03-10, 06:08 AM
*throws meat-processing factories at*

Torzini
2015-03-10, 06:10 AM
*throws a live whale at*

Peebles
2015-03-10, 07:36 AM
*throws at a live whale*

Haruki-kun
2015-03-10, 09:26 AM
*throws into Wales*

goto124
2015-03-10, 10:17 AM
*catapults into some college in Wales*

Dire Moose
2015-03-10, 10:46 AM
*wails at*

Torzini
2015-03-10, 10:52 AM
*wails on with a whale in Whales*

Mercenary Pen
2015-03-10, 12:03 PM
*covers you in Tomato Ketchup and locks in an enclosure of excessively hungry stoats*

Twelvetrees
2015-03-10, 01:15 PM
*tosses into pool of maple syrup*

Trevortni
2015-03-10, 01:57 PM
*tosses into stool of maple syrup-eater*

Drakeburn
2015-03-10, 02:50 PM
*throws in a floatation device made of pancakes*

Mercenary Pen
2015-03-10, 05:07 PM
*steals your hands* Good luck making all those sleight of foot checks...

goto124
2015-03-10, 08:01 PM
*casts a Fly spell*

Who needs that anyway?

Haruki-kun
2015-03-10, 08:03 PM
*flies without spell*

Lateral
2015-03-10, 09:20 PM
*flies without wings*

Zaydos
2015-03-10, 09:55 PM
*flies without wings or spells... on an undead beholder*

Drakeburn
2015-03-10, 11:06 PM
*shoots down undead beholder with howitzer*

Now we're without flying.

Haruki-kun
2015-03-10, 11:14 PM
*grabs dead beholder and flies away with it while singing*

You can't take the Sky from me!

Mercenary Pen
2015-03-11, 04:19 AM
*predictably, takes the sky from you*

BasketOfPuppies
2015-03-11, 05:41 AM
*takes you out to the black*

Torzini
2015-03-11, 05:42 AM
*takes you out to the ball game*

Twelvetrees
2015-03-11, 08:02 AM
*takes you out to the crowd...*

*...of angry kobolds*

Mercenary Pen
2015-03-11, 10:34 AM
*goes back in time and slaughters the first kobolds moments after their creation*

No good can come of the existence of kobolds.

Peebles
2015-03-11, 10:42 AM
*conscripts into the Banana Guard army of the Candy Kingdom*

*goes on to commit to appallingly bad military strategies*

Zaydos
2015-03-11, 10:43 AM
*"attempts" to stop*

No, wait... don't... too late now.

*is ninja'd*

*floods the Candy Kingdom with peanut butter brittle*

Emperordaniel
2015-03-11, 11:15 AM
*sends a Devouring Clank to eat all the gumballs*

Trevortni
2015-03-11, 12:31 PM
*Diverts the Devouring Clank over a peanut brittle bridge.... It's too brittle to hold the weight.....*

Torzini
2015-03-11, 12:39 PM
*eats the peanut brittle bridge*

What, I was hungry!

Zaydos
2015-03-11, 12:56 PM
Eat my bridge will you :smallfurious:

You know what I do to people who eat my bridges?!?!

*gives a life time supply of peanut butter brittle too*

Twelvetrees
2015-03-11, 03:10 PM
*sics tooth fairy upon*

Trevortni
2015-03-11, 03:19 PM
*tooth fairy sicks up on*

Emperordaniel
2015-03-11, 04:15 PM
*sends in the tooth fairy Doctor*

goto124
2015-03-11, 11:17 PM
*sends in Santa Clause*

Drakeburn
2015-03-11, 11:28 PM
*steals Santa's bag*

Mercenary Pen
2015-03-12, 04:59 AM
*steals your ability to make noise*

Peebles
2015-03-12, 05:46 AM
*bombards with brown noise*

Emperordaniel
2015-03-12, 08:29 AM
*tosses purple confetti*

TheCountAlucard
2015-03-12, 09:35 AM
(strangles you to death on your throne, then tears the gory crown from your head)

zeifly
2015-03-12, 11:17 AM
*summons arcane servants to clean up the mess*
You need to be careful. This is the first silk from Waterdeep. Do you have any idea how expensive it is?
*Conjures a slushie and begins to drink it*

Trevortni
2015-03-12, 11:43 AM
*Transmutes slushie into a slurpee*

Emperordaniel
2015-03-12, 11:50 AM
*floods town with slurpee*

Kneenibble
2015-03-12, 01:28 PM
*touches thigh in a gentle manner, with a hand that is chilled from holding a slurpee cup*

TheCountAlucard
2015-03-12, 03:58 PM
(asks if you'd like to read to me as I take the bus to work)

Drakeburn
2015-03-12, 04:37 PM
*reads the lyrics to the "Let It Go" song till you reach your destination*

zeifly
2015-03-12, 06:37 PM
*casts Silence*
This is not a thing that we do anymore!

Emperordaniel
2015-03-12, 06:55 PM
*dismisses Silence*
*casts Amplify Sound*

goto124
2015-03-12, 08:17 PM
*screams*

*shatters the ice castle with sonic damage*

Silent Justice
2015-03-12, 10:29 PM
*throws an army of penguins at TPAM*

Drakeburn
2015-03-12, 10:30 PM
*arms the penguin army with freeze rays*

Emperordaniel
2015-03-12, 11:43 PM
*sends penguin army to conquer Egypt*

goto124
2015-03-13, 12:22 AM
*hugs all the penguins*

Penguins!!

BasketOfPuppies
2015-03-13, 05:45 AM
*throws at invading army*

Have fun with that.

Torzini
2015-03-13, 05:50 AM
*joins goto124 in hugging allllll the cute penguins*

Emperordaniel
2015-03-13, 08:04 AM
*moves to hug penguins, accidentally kitten instead*

Peebles
2015-03-13, 09:27 AM
*traps in a circle of box jellyfish*

Zaydos
2015-03-13, 09:35 AM
*floods with molasses*

Twelvetrees
2015-03-13, 10:03 AM
*covers with giant blueberry pancakes*

Torzini
2015-03-13, 11:07 AM
*starts eating the blueberry pancakes while still occasionally hugging a penguin*

This day just keeps getting better and better!

Trevortni
2015-03-13, 01:15 PM
*Installs Linux*

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/a/af/Tux.png/220px-Tux.png

Emperordaniel
2015-03-13, 02:43 PM
*swings katana and screams about a GNU dawn*

Dudeons
2015-03-13, 02:56 PM
*replaces GNU with canoe*

zeifly
2015-03-13, 11:05 PM
*throws surfboards to penguins*
let's see what you've got!

Dire Moose
2015-03-13, 11:35 PM
*invites hungry sea lions to the penguin surfing contest*

Zaydos
2015-03-13, 11:37 PM
*feeds you to the penguins once they're done eating the sea lions*

@v: *falls into the feeding frenzy*

Ah, they're eating me! I will rise again!

*is torn apart by penguins*

Trevortni
2015-03-13, 11:56 PM
*Trips you*

Drakeburn
2015-03-14, 12:13 AM
*throws penguins at you*

Take to the skies, my pretties!

Silent Justice
2015-03-14, 01:06 AM
*eats the penguins and vomits them back up at TPBM*

Zaydos
2015-03-14, 01:09 AM
*reconstitutes in the midst of the penguin remnants*

See, I said I'd rise again! MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

*continues laughing melodramatically*

Mercenary Pen
2015-03-14, 05:21 AM
*applies sticky label reading "New peanut-free Zaydos"*

TheCountAlucard
2015-03-14, 07:32 AM
(surprise throat-punch)

Emperordaniel
2015-03-14, 09:10 AM
*prepares to Turn undead penguins*

Zaydos
2015-03-14, 10:15 AM
*bolsters the undead*

*waits for someone allergic to peanuts to be fooled by Mercenary Pen's 100% inaccurate sticker*

Mercenary Pen
2015-03-14, 10:50 AM
*turns all peanuts into plastic explosives*

(and I mean all peanuts, everywhere)

@V: It gets weirder than that, I'm including packing peanuts as well...

Dire Moose
2015-03-14, 12:32 PM
*throws a jar of peanuts at you and runs for cover*

Trevortni
2015-03-14, 02:54 PM
*Distributes flowers to everyone above me on this page*

zeifly
2015-03-14, 08:39 PM
*gracefully accepts flower while simultaneously deflecting the incoming jar*

Zaydos
2015-03-14, 08:44 PM
*usually dominion over peanuts to make them no longer plastic explosives but simple magically charged legumes*

TheCountAlucard
2015-03-14, 09:32 PM
(puts metal helmets on the peanuts to help them stand against the zombies)

Mercenary Pen
2015-03-15, 04:13 AM
*turns all peanuts into comic strips*

Darius Midnite
2015-03-15, 05:39 AM
*Tars and weathers* Now run!
*Readies pellet gun*

goto124
2015-03-15, 05:57 AM
*wonders where all the penguins went*

*turns into a penguin*

Emperordaniel
2015-03-15, 09:03 AM
*goes penguin-sledding*

Mercenary Pen
2015-03-15, 10:28 AM
*shaves you bald and glues squirrels to your scalp*

Trevortni
2015-03-15, 01:05 PM
*Makes some popcorn and enjoys the show*

Drakeburn
2015-03-15, 03:20 PM
*feeds your popcorn to the penguins*

zeifly
2015-03-15, 04:42 PM
*starts dual wielding pellet pistols*
Let's do this!

Torzini
2015-03-15, 04:52 PM
*dual wields bags of popcorn*

*eats popcorn*

Trevortni
2015-03-15, 05:05 PM
*Duel welds bags of popcorn*

Emperordaniel
2015-03-15, 05:11 PM
*cuts off power to the welding machines and sets the building on fire*

TheCountAlucard
2015-03-15, 05:51 PM
Excuse me, I think someone said something about dual-wielding? :smallwink:

(shoots two softball-sized holes in your chest)

Strategos
2015-03-15, 06:04 PM
"Good Morning!"
**hugs**
**sits down for tea and crumpets with**

Haruki-kun
2015-03-15, 06:27 PM
*arrives to tea-drinking event*

Trevortni
2015-03-15, 06:32 PM
*Flutters over to the tea party*

Zaydos
2015-03-15, 06:58 PM
My mime-suit is gone

*sheds a tear of profound sadness and loss*

Mercenary Pen
2015-03-15, 07:10 PM
*accosts you with clown makeup*

Twelvetrees
2015-03-15, 11:30 PM
*steadies lance while trundling towards TPBM on a giant tortoise*

Dudeons
2015-03-15, 11:51 PM
*jumps on top of the tortoise, forcing it to go into it's shell*

*kicks it at TPBM*

BasketOfPuppies
2015-03-16, 05:21 AM
*jumps over*

Luckily it wasn't a red shell.

*throws a fireball at TPBM

Mercenary Pen
2015-03-16, 05:24 AM
*launches an unholy combination of a red shell, chain chomp and bullet bill at you*

Cyber Punk
2015-03-16, 06:53 AM
*launches TPAM into the mouth of a fire dragon*

Emperordaniel
2015-03-16, 07:28 AM
*polymorphs the fire dragon into a time dragon*

Torzini
2015-03-16, 07:55 AM
*polymorphs time dragon into a donkey with a wristwatch*

Twelvetrees
2015-03-16, 09:57 AM
*dresses the donkey in a suit*

Dudeons
2015-03-16, 09:58 AM
*turns into twelve dragons*

@V: "Thanks for the dragons, Dudeons!" :smallannoyed:

Zaydos
2015-03-16, 10:31 AM
*exerts dominion over dragon kind*

I AM THE DRAGONMAKER, CRAFTSMAN OF SCALE AND SINEW, FORGER OF BREATH AND FANG! WITH MY CLAW I DO CARVE, WITH MY MIND I SHAPE! KNEEL-

*continues to power trip and monologue*

Trevortni
2015-03-16, 11:41 AM
*hides from the d-d-d-dragon!!!!*

Torzini
2015-03-16, 11:42 AM
*throws suited donkey at dragon*

Laughing Dog
2015-03-16, 02:08 PM
*throws a Fireball at Zaydos*

"Quit monologuing, man! Do you not remember what happens to us evil types when we monologue?"

Dire Moose
2015-03-16, 02:39 PM
*ascends to godhood*

NOW BOW BEFORE ME, PUNY MORTALS!

Trevortni
2015-03-16, 02:52 PM
*Pulls the drawstring so tight on your godhood you can't see*

Emperordaniel
2015-03-16, 03:31 PM
*releases Pandora's Box in the general direction of the posters above me*

BasketOfPuppies
2015-03-16, 03:33 PM
*seals inside*

Zaydos
2015-03-16, 03:38 PM
*steals Hope so that the world may only live in despair*

Drakeburn
2015-03-16, 06:37 PM
*steals away despair so that there is no despair*

Emperordaniel
2015-03-16, 06:57 PM
*removes emotion and replaces it with peace*

Dire Moose
2015-03-16, 10:51 PM
*covers in swarm of killer bees*

Trevortni
2015-03-17, 12:16 AM
*leads bees to a field of beautiful flowers to pollinate*

Zaydos
2015-03-17, 12:20 AM
*waves a princess at the bees to see how they react*

goto124
2015-03-17, 01:16 AM
*inserts a princess who may actually be a prince*

Dudeons
2015-03-17, 01:57 AM
*dons crown and becomes king*

Enough of this second-class royalty!

zeifly
2015-03-17, 05:43 AM
*shuts oneself inside tower to search for a way to fix all the damage this post has done to the universe and the time-space continuum.*

this may take a minute.

Mercenary Pen
2015-03-17, 06:20 AM
*beats you into a pulp using all of space as a weapon*

*waits for someone to do the same to me with time*

Emperordaniel
2015-03-17, 10:12 AM
*makes Mercenary Pen timeless*

Trevortni
2015-03-17, 11:36 AM
*makes Emperordaniel a Timex*

Zaydos
2015-03-17, 12:14 PM
*pinches cause your avatar isn't wearing green*

@v: I already created a PrC (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?404191-Snake-Slayer-%28PrC%29) just for this eventuality.

Mercenary Pen
2015-03-17, 04:06 PM
*drives all the snakes out of Ireland and Australia into your avatar*

Drakeburn
2015-03-17, 05:19 PM
*steers a cattle drive towards TPBM*

Trevortni
2015-03-17, 06:02 PM
*Laughs at the possibly unintended pun, then soothes the cattle*

Torzini
2015-03-17, 06:52 PM
*steals the cattle, mass-barbecues into steaks*

Zaydos
2015-03-17, 06:54 PM
*arrests*

Good thing I was on a steak-out for the cattle rustler that's been preying on these poor people.

*eats all the steaks*

TheCountAlucard
2015-03-17, 08:47 PM
(takes away your steak sauce)

Twelvetrees
2015-03-17, 09:08 PM
*tails down a dark alleyway while muttering to self*

Totally a good idea, totally a good idea, totally a good idea...

Emperordaniel
2015-03-17, 09:57 PM
*slams a portal to the land of unicorns and rainbows down in front of Twelvetrees*

Torzini
2015-03-18, 06:54 AM
*happily jumps through the portal*

*chases after unicorns with a knife and fork and extra bottles of steak sauce*

TheCountAlucard
2015-03-18, 08:22 AM
(gives you a pair of enchanted brass knuckles)

EmeraldRose
2015-03-18, 10:13 AM
*cuts open head*

*inserts weirdness*

*no difference noted*

*ponders implications*

Kneenibble
2015-03-18, 10:30 AM
*cuts open head*

*extracts the three young budgies which have been incubating in there for a year*

*leaves fresh eggs in the cavities*

*closes and gives an excellent cup of coffee to placate*

Mercenary Pen
2015-03-18, 12:48 PM
*replaces your revolver with a blunderbuss*

Dudeons
2015-03-18, 01:37 PM
*blunders a busload of dice at*

Emperordaniel
2015-03-18, 04:48 PM
*transforms dice into pineapples*

Torzini
2015-03-18, 04:58 PM
*steals pineapples, slices up into unicorn-pineapple kabobs*

*eats in one gulp* :thog:

Twelvetrees
2015-03-18, 09:06 PM
*watches in horror*

The kabob sticks too?! How do you do that?

goto124
2015-03-18, 09:18 PM
*calls the ambulance*

Emperordaniel
2015-03-18, 09:24 PM
*hands a wand of Teleport to the paramedics*

TheCountAlucard
2015-03-18, 09:56 PM
(chains to the mast of a battle-barge of Melniboné)

Zaydos
2015-03-18, 10:04 PM
*steals the battle barge and adds it to my collection*

*leaves you with knowledge of three martial maneuvers in its place*

Use them wisely.

Trevortni
2015-03-19, 12:17 AM
*Introduces to a properly gendered raspberry jelly dragon*

Emperordaniel
2015-03-19, 07:56 AM
*summons a Steel Dragon*

Dudeons
2015-03-19, 11:29 AM
Henshin!

*turns into Hurricane Dragon*

Torzini
2015-03-19, 11:39 AM
*turns into a pineapple kabob dragon*

whatever that is

Trevortni
2015-03-19, 12:13 PM
*turns into a telephone pole*

Zaydos
2015-03-19, 12:29 PM
*combines the power of a pinapple kabop dragon, Hurricane Dragon, and the all important telephone pole to turn into a god, A GOD DRAGON*

*laughs maniacally and begins an evil monologue about how I have become a god!!!!!*

Emperordaniel
2015-03-19, 02:55 PM
*forges a weapon of ∞+1 godslaying and gives it to the person below me*

Mercenary Pen
2015-03-19, 05:35 PM
*accepts your brass knuckles of ∞+1 godslaying- then realises I'd never get close enough to use them*

Trevortni
2015-03-19, 05:44 PM
*Applies an enchantment to allow you to make attacks with your brass knuckles of ∞+1 godslaying from a distance. Because that would look funny.*

Zaydos
2015-03-19, 06:07 PM
*curses the brass knuckles inverting their bonus*

Emperordaniel
2015-03-19, 07:28 PM
*kicks Zaydos into a portal to the Negative Energy Plane*

Strategos
2015-03-19, 07:54 PM
"Good Morning!"
**hugs**
**ties yellow ribbons in your hair... poorly**
"Sorry, this is much harder to do with hooves and teeth."

Trevortni
2015-03-20, 01:05 AM
*Draws a Venn Diagram around T2PAM*

Zaydos
2015-03-20, 01:10 AM
*emerges from the Negative Energy Plane behind*

Fluttershy, can you tell the audience what happens when you throw a necromancer who has gained god-like power into the Negative Energy Plane, the place most suited to their powers and from which they can obtain mastery of death itself? Please, Fluttershy, tell them, or shall I...

*begins a monologue about the nature of infinite power and the horrible things I can do with it and ways I could crush all possible resistance before it developed, completely forgetting to actually do these things as I get far too wrapped up in the monologue until it's interrupted or I go to sleep on an asteroid with a scenic location near a black hole*

Lex-Kat
2015-03-20, 02:26 AM
*Appears in shadow and.... Stabs, Stabs, Stabs*

Mercenary Pen
2015-03-20, 04:12 AM
*temporarily replaces your blade with a chainsaw*

Emperordaniel
2015-03-20, 08:50 AM
*replaces chainsaw blades with a series of miniature chainsaws, creating a fractal chainsaw*

Trevortni
2015-03-20, 11:39 AM
*Calculates the surface area of the fractal chainsaw*

Lex-Kat
2015-03-20, 08:39 PM
*Pets carefully* Good pony. Good pony. :smallsmile:

@V Oooh, cake! Yum! :smallbiggrin:

Lateral
2015-03-20, 10:01 PM
Lex! I haven't seen you around here in forever!

*bakes a cake at*

Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins
2015-03-20, 10:06 PM
*quietly attempts to assassinate*

*might potentially be trying to save the world*

*will let you know*

Drakeburn
2015-03-20, 11:53 PM
The Master of Goblins! Long time no see!

*tacklehugs Fullbladder, purposely foiling his assassination attempt*

TheCountAlucard
2015-03-21, 05:15 AM
(performs character assassination)

Mercenary Pen
2015-03-21, 06:02 AM
*replaces your guns with bats and your bats with guns- to humourous effect*

Emperordaniel
2015-03-21, 06:35 AM
*turns the bats into Batmen*

goto124
2015-03-21, 08:35 AM
*starts arguing about Batman continuity*

Sheesh, comics and their constant retcons...

TheCountAlucard
2015-03-21, 09:24 AM
Batman? Feh, please. You really wanna get someone griping, talk to them about One More Day.

(gives a breakfast burrito)

@V: (waps across the nose with a rolled-up newspaper) Three post rule, Daniel! No biscuit for you!

Emperordaniel
2015-03-21, 10:27 AM
*prints out copies of One More Day 2: Electric Bugaloo*

*eats burrito*

Lex-Kat
2015-03-21, 12:00 PM
*slips a Dorito into your burrito*

Strategos
2015-03-21, 07:09 PM
"Good Morning!"
**hugs**
**gives a large plate of churros to**

Torzini
2015-03-21, 07:15 PM
*snatches the one Dorito and plate of churros*

*runs off cackling into the night*

Lateral
2015-03-21, 08:09 PM
Night? What is this 'night?'

*lights up the night*

Dire Moose
2015-03-21, 08:41 PM
*turns into a T. rex*

*eats Torzini along with churros and Dorito*