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FallenFallcrest
2015-03-11, 07:19 PM
Here is a new game that just popped into my head, invent an over the top death, but only give the last words of the person or people. Try and be as absurd as possible.

"I shouldn't have... stolen... their pies."

jaydubs
2015-03-11, 08:11 PM
Huh. I guess they really do have feathers. *screaming*

BootStrapTommy
2015-03-11, 08:30 PM
"Tell... you wife... that I l... l... love her..."
"This is exactly why I'm killing you."

Dudeons
2015-03-11, 09:28 PM
"Bruce Lee, we need to do this scene from the top for the 19th time."

"Patty cake, patty cake - *incoherent screams*"

FallenFallcrest
2015-03-11, 09:49 PM
"Now that I finally have you in my sights, any last words, punk?"

"Only this: you forgot about the sheep-cow. a fatal mista-"

"Mooooooooooooooooo!!!"

*deafening crash*

All three were never seen again.

OblivionBlade
2015-03-11, 10:33 PM
"Aww how cute! OH DEAR GOD IT'S EATING MY FACE IT'S EATING MY FACE IT'S EATING ... *gurgle*"

Haruki-kun
2015-03-11, 11:21 PM
"You stab me BECAUSE YOU LOVE ME!!!!"

Emperordaniel
2015-03-11, 11:24 PM
"Upgrade to the latest version of Adobe Flash Player to view this content, bitch." *pulls grenade pin*

Free cookie if you can guess what that's from.

Peebles
2015-03-12, 07:59 AM
To paraphrase some real world last words I know of:

"Why are you hiding? They couldn't hit an elephant from this dist-"

Silent Justice
2015-03-12, 08:54 AM
I knew... I should have taken... Levels... In fighter...

FallenFallcrest
2015-03-12, 06:01 PM
I knew... I should have taken... Levels... In fighter...

"I knew I should have taken Levels... in Commoner." *dies*

Emperordaniel
2015-03-12, 06:39 PM
"I knew I should have taken Levels... in Commoner." *dies*

"A housecat? Seriously? That's the most threatening thing you could come up with? (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?93068-First-time-DMing-and-already-killed-a-character)"

Scarlet Knight
2015-03-12, 09:41 PM
Don't ...eat the salmon....

Silent Justice
2015-03-12, 10:53 PM
I didn't think... you could make a golem... out of THAT...

Dudeons
2015-03-13, 04:34 AM
"Oh, so you're saying I'm too scared to give myself a swirly?"

Emperordaniel
2015-03-13, 08:07 AM
"Damn you... cursed wallpaper..."

Peebles
2015-03-13, 08:49 AM
Bears can't climb...can they?

Silent Justice
2015-03-13, 04:32 PM
Why is that arrow getting bigger?

Scarlet Knight
2015-03-13, 10:26 PM
Wait, aren't those the safe mushrooms?

thirsting
2015-03-14, 12:52 AM
*grabs spouses lovehandles* Though admittedly already well-explored and barely containing any previously untrundled areas, I hereby claim these large swathes of land for my king, and country!

(true story, except that I didn't really die as a result. But it was close)

Emperordaniel
2015-03-14, 09:12 AM
"Hey, watch this!"

Dudeons
2015-03-14, 02:40 PM
"Imma do a Dante!"

FallenFallcrest
2015-03-14, 07:06 PM
"Pluh-lease! Everyone knows dragons are... *turns around*... Extinct?"

Oh, and the ever classics "What could possibly go wrong?" and my personal favorite: "What's the worst that could happen?"

Zaydos
2015-03-14, 07:18 PM
"Hey guys, the dragon is made of sugar!"

Emperordaniel
2015-03-14, 11:17 PM
"You wanna know where he is? Fine, I'll tell you. He's- gurk."

Dire Moose
2015-03-15, 12:10 AM
"Hold my beer and watch this."

Cyber Punk
2015-03-16, 07:13 AM
"I don't care if he's a deity, I told him to go screw himself! What's the worst-- *is erased from existence*"

Or also: "1 + 1 equals two, b****." *suicide bombs*

Torzini
2015-03-16, 08:05 AM
"Yeah, over my dead body."

Emperordaniel
2015-03-16, 08:26 AM
"Don't worry, no one else knows I'm here."

Zaydos
2015-03-16, 10:28 AM
"The space ghost isn't really a ghost it's a-" Pauses as mask is pulled away "-little white rabbit. You could tell aaaagggghhh!"

Dudeons
2015-03-16, 12:01 PM
"I'm a Super Sa-" *laser in the chest*

Combat Reflexes
2015-03-19, 06:41 AM
"Dont worry, they couldn't hit an elephant at this distance"

Wheelhouse
2015-03-24, 02:17 PM
I'm going to spoon that owlbear!

Emperordaniel
2015-03-24, 02:57 PM
"What happens if I mix these two chemicals together?"

Dudeons
2015-03-24, 06:58 PM
"Will the real Ted Bundy please stand up?"

FallenFallcrest
2015-03-25, 07:29 AM
"And the winner of the charity gala's grand prize of this exceedingly valuable , and in no way magical, gemstone is..."
*bang!*
We can all imagine a wacky mystery adventure happened after that.

Verte
2015-03-27, 10:36 PM
"Don't be ridiculous. Sea sponges are perfectly harmless."

Emperordaniel
2015-03-27, 11:02 PM
"He's in the negatives and dying! What's he going to do, bleed on me?"

Cyber Punk
2015-03-30, 01:00 PM
"Look at him! He's drunk and can barely lift that sword! You'll never find an easier target."

Xihirli
2015-04-23, 06:45 PM
"Accept perfection? From you? I'd rather burn."

Dudeons
2015-04-23, 08:06 PM
"By the power of- *insert tortured screams*

Emperordaniel
2015-04-23, 11:25 PM
"Wait, no! [Player's Character Name], I'm your f-"

Xihirli
2015-04-24, 04:03 PM
"Who among you has courage to stand in my w-"

Targ Collective
2015-04-24, 08:44 PM
Hah! Mods? What mods? If the mods have power, I dare them to strike me down right now!

FallenFallcrest
2015-04-28, 06:56 PM
"So is that the supposed "world killing monster" you guys have been whining about? I told you, it is just a myth, this thing can't do-"

Neli42
2015-05-02, 02:53 AM
It says, "I prepared 'Explosive Runes' this morn-"

Tentreto
2015-05-02, 05:17 AM
'Duck!'

"Thats not a duck, that's an ar..."

Targ Collective
2015-05-02, 12:54 PM
"Bigods, what's a monkey doing running a Library?

Scarlet Knight
2015-05-04, 09:37 PM
"Hold still! Velociraptor vision is based on movement..."

Xihirli
2015-05-23, 08:29 PM
"That train looks like it needs a GUH!"

Emperordaniel
2015-05-24, 09:22 PM
"Get him, boys!"

AvatarVecna
2015-05-25, 04:35 AM
"Well, darling, I'd say you're maybe a 6 or a 7..."

Oddman80
2015-06-08, 11:32 AM
"Stop being so paranoid. There is nothing on the other side of the d---"

CrimsonKnight
2015-06-09, 05:15 PM
*sniff sniff* "Hey, does anyone else smell g-" *BOOM*

GAAD
2015-06-09, 05:22 PM
"Huh. So that's what that button does."

Dudeons
2015-06-20, 07:39 AM
"I'm telling you, this red shirt compliments my eyes!"

Emperordaniel
2015-06-20, 02:30 PM
"Green Dragon of Reddragonsville! I hereby challenge you to single combat!"

Neli42
2015-07-10, 04:04 AM
What do you mean I'm not actually invisi---?

Scarlet Knight
2015-07-10, 06:38 PM
"Of course I'm going surfing! We're in Hawaii, aren't we?"

Orm-Embar
2015-07-10, 06:53 PM
"Crocodiles aren't really dangerous, those signs are just for show."

AvatarVecna
2015-07-11, 01:57 PM
"What the hell, I've got a good Fort save..."

CelestialSloth
2015-07-11, 02:37 PM
"I know some palindromes."

FallenFallcrest
2015-07-13, 04:41 PM
Oh I see the problem, this little wire here wasn't connected properly.

Chunklets
2015-07-13, 11:36 PM
"Well look at that, I've got a royal flush AGAIN! Four in a row now - what are the odds?"

Orm-Embar
2015-07-18, 12:46 PM
"Send out your greatest champion!"

Scarlet Knight
2015-07-18, 02:48 PM
Calm down! It's only a drill!

Neli42
2015-07-19, 09:21 PM
Nonsense. This Lesser Crested Ichthyostirge is harmless. You're thinking of the Greater Crested Ichthyostirge.

JohnTheSavage
2015-07-19, 10:50 PM
"Calm down dude, I was just kidding!"

Orm-Embar
2015-07-20, 04:45 PM
"It doesn't look dangerous."

Chunklets
2015-07-20, 07:36 PM
"Oh yeah? You and what army, Mister Alexander the so-called Great!"

(in honour of the man's 2,371st birthday!)

Xihirli
2015-07-20, 09:18 PM
"This bomb looks huggable."

Cyber Punk
2015-07-21, 06:52 AM
"Yeah, so I got a pacemaker, so what? It's just a few hundred volts of electricity! A tiny little spark--"

-cue cardiac arrest-

CelestialSloth
2015-07-23, 10:43 AM
You stick your hand in the tube like this, see, and then you press this button, the one marked 'ZEBRA', and then you flip the swit-"

*SPLAT!*

101jir
2015-07-23, 11:15 AM
"You must be joking if you think that can hold... oh no, not the dolphins!"

Prince Zahn
2015-07-23, 12:20 PM
DON'T WORRY, I'M NOT AFRAID OF FALLING IN A DREAM WITHOUT A PARACHUTE! I WAS A PARATROOPER FOR THE US—
*splash*
That was a close one - I could have hit those jagged–!
*gets swallowed up by whale*

Orm-Embar
2015-07-23, 06:02 PM
Someone sent me a tweet that said it would be cool if you lit yourself on fire, while surfing with sharks, and I kind of thought, hey, why not?

Chunklets
2015-07-23, 06:34 PM
"Guess what time it is, little kitty, guess what time it is!"

"Miaow, miaow?"

"That's right -- it's your BATH time!"

CelestialSloth
2015-07-28, 09:38 AM
I'm not sure if the tank is full of sharks, or dolphins.

Prince Zahn
2015-07-28, 09:51 AM
I iron heart surge the piranhas! easy peas–OW! OOOWWWW OWWFORTHELOVEOFWHYISN'TITWORKING!!! MAKITSTOOOOOOOOP!!!!

DungeonMaster77
2015-07-29, 11:55 AM
This is long, but worth the time...

After just having killed the most rediculous pyrohyra the party has every had let alone heard of which nearly killed the mage...twice...and the party is beaten to a pulp with little to no healing magic left, and each individual in the party has maybe 10% of their hitpoints remaining at most. They were praising their dice rolls for just surviving.

Player 1, while Player 2 is off in the restroom: Okay, so, I am a ranger, right? And that would give me knowledge of skinning, and whatnot, right?

Me, as DM: Sure...

Player 1 (player 2 is still gone): Okay, so I take one of the hydra heads, sever it, and hollow out the neck.

Me: Okaayy...

Player 1: I wait in the darkness (rolls hide and move silently, getting a Nat 20 on Hide and a 19 on Move Silently...he had upwards of +15 in modifiers on both rolls)...

Player 2 returns...

Player 2: Okay, I take first watch.

Player 1: (hehehehe)....

Me, looking at Player 1: Are you really doing this?

Player 1: Yes. Of course.

Me: Okay. Well, mage, as you keep a lookout, you notice a stirring by the body of the pyrohydra.

Player 2: WHAT?!

Me: In fact, you see a hydra head pop up over the body, letting loose with a fearsome roar.

Player 1 is laughing hysterically.

Player 2: I cast the maximized Cone of Cold I had saved up.

Player 1: Uhh...What?

Player 2: Aren't you going to roll a save for it?

Me: No, "it" can't see, so "it" doesn't get a saving throw. Just roll damage, while [insert Player 1's name] rolls a new character.

101jir
2015-08-01, 02:27 PM
They should totally have this in a movie:

*Guy gets caught in an explosion, lying half-dead*

Dude: (struggling) Mindy... Mindy...

Dude's Girlfriend: (sobbing) Yes, I'm here. It's alright. You'll make it, you'll make it

Dude: Mindy... I... loved... your... sis- *dies*

They never have the guy admit to cheating on his deathbed, to his girlfriend. its always a love message. Or a "Take care of _____". Granted, it would be heart-wrenching, but it would make it that much more interesting.

Chunklets
2015-08-01, 10:31 PM
"A thunderstorm, eh? Time to put on my protective copper underwear."

Orm-Embar
2015-08-03, 05:48 PM
"Oh yeah, well, what are you going to do about it, huh?"

Beam
2015-08-04, 10:30 PM
"You're sure this won't hurt?"

Prince Zahn
2015-08-09, 02:25 AM
"You have won this time, hero, but you have not seen the last o---!"

101jir
2015-08-09, 09:23 AM
Check out some actual famous last words:

James Madison [In response to his niece asking him what is wrong]: Nothing more than a change of mind, my dear. I always talk better lying down.

Van Buren: There is but one they fear reliance... [Enter Skyrim theme :smalltongue:]

Theodore Roosevelt: Please put out the light.

John F. Kennedy: That's very obvious. [Spoken in response to Mrs. Connolly's comment, "Mr. President, you can't say that Dallas doesn't love you."] [Some claims have been made that President Kennedy exclaimed "My God, I've been hit." but one of the Secret Servicemen riding in the car when the president was shot said that Kennedy made no remarks after he was struck.]

Quotes found from here (http://diplom.org/manus/Presidents/faq/last.html).

Beam
2015-08-09, 09:39 AM
"Don't worry. It's an herbivorous dinosaur."

101jir
2015-08-09, 07:03 PM
Check out some actual famous last words:
-snip-
Van Buren: There is but one they fear reliance... [Enter Skyrim theme :smalltongue:]

-snip-


Okay, now I am dying for someone to make a video with an animation of Van Buren narrating the Skyrim trailer, say "But, there is one reliance" instead of "they fear" at the right moment, and then die after saying reliance :smallbiggrin:.


edit: So sorry, forgot about the 3 post rule!

Chunklets
2015-08-09, 10:28 PM
No, I'm pretty sure the inscription translates as: "All who desecrate this tomb, wherein lies the dread King-Priest of Cthulhu, shall live long, happy, and prosperous lives." Pass me the crowbar and let's get started.

gllithid
2015-08-14, 05:48 PM
"the merfolk are surrounding us!"

"I cast enlarged lightning bolt!"

necrochicken
2015-08-31, 09:01 AM
"The sheep!! They are INCORRECT!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"To Carceri With the sirlOIN!"

"I giltaxan Probe you. Again."

Medival Wombat
2015-09-14, 03:10 PM
"bigods, what's a monkey doing running a library?

"ugh" ...........

Prince Zahn
2015-09-16, 05:36 AM
"This is the end, isn't it? Why O why didn't you do your laundry like I asked you to?!"

FallenFallcrest
2015-09-23, 09:48 PM
"I don't think I am a god! I AM A GOD!!!"

Bonus points for anyone that gets the quote.

Dudeons
2015-09-24, 03:44 PM
"Come on! I'm a microbiologist, and this is a particle accelerator. I've got this!

Emperordaniel
2015-09-30, 08:39 PM
I had wood for sheep! WHY DIDN'T ANYONE HAVE SHEEP??

Scarlet Knight
2015-09-30, 09:03 PM
" No, please! This is supposed to be a happy occasion! Let's not bicker and argue about who killed who ... "

Xihirli
2015-09-30, 11:54 PM
http://media.makeameme.org/created/chaotic-stupid.jpg

GAAD
2015-10-01, 12:32 AM
Ooh! Ooh!

"I'll take my chances that the afterlife won't have any punishment worse than not being with you."
"I get ta go home."
"HATE YOU. SO. MUCH. HATE."
"I love you all, I love you! I love you! Why don't you love me?"
Goodbye, Redcloak.

Emperordaniel
2015-10-01, 04:48 AM
"Always look on the bright side of life..."

Razanir
2015-10-01, 10:21 AM
"Always look on the bright side of life..."

*whistles along*

"Hold my beer and watch this"

Dudeons
2015-10-01, 07:56 PM
"By the unholy powers of 4chan, you shall be SILENT!"

Enero Irontoad
2015-10-02, 11:43 PM
"Yes, I am aware of the threat posed by baby chinchillas, but - "

Zaydos
2015-10-02, 11:45 PM
"I say we burn it, it's just mold."

Xihirli
2015-10-03, 03:25 PM
http://media.makeameme.org/created/250/now-excuse-me.jpg

enderlord99
2015-10-04, 02:11 AM
"No, that isn't a pit of deadly magma down there;"

"That's a relief. Hey, watch me high-dive into it!"

"It's above ground, so it's actually la- No! WAIT!"

Prince Zahn
2015-10-17, 05:04 AM
"I eat the object".:smalltongue:

No, I'm not in the wrong thread, It's just a reference. Move along.

FallenFallcrest
2015-10-18, 09:55 AM
"Get back here right now, son or you will be in BIG trouble! You are already skating on thin ice!"

"Come and get me yourself old ma-"

*crack*
*sploosh*

:smalltongue:

Captain Davison
2015-10-26, 01:13 PM
No fair.... There were two space marines down there...

Scarlet Knight
2015-10-31, 06:24 PM
" Duuude! That werewolf costume looks sooo real! "

TheGamemaniac
2015-10-31, 06:42 PM
"Trent? But I thought you were-"

Emperordaniel
2015-10-31, 09:43 PM
"What do you mean, the vampire's right behind m-"

Insane Trystane
2015-10-31, 10:00 PM
"Five people seated in a dark room in strange garb, casting lots with bizarre dice and talking of spells? And one of them's using some kind of sorcery to predict what I'm going to say before I say it?! I swing at him with my greataxe!"

(Points if you can tell me which movie I'm thinking of. :P )

TheGamemaniac
2015-11-01, 12:19 PM
"I give you a ocelot"

Dudeons
2015-11-01, 05:04 PM
*puts gun to my own head* Give me the money or I'll shoot!

Emperordaniel
2015-11-01, 07:21 PM
"I stab Xihirli."

Ninjaman
2015-11-03, 11:31 AM
I'm sure it won't explode.

thirsting
2015-11-05, 06:17 AM
"I just invented a cure for lycanthropy; Waxing! Let's try it on that one!"


(not by me - but source is NSFW)

Captain Davison
2015-11-19, 05:25 PM
Oh ****, you just spilled that dwarf's booze!

- - - Updated - - -

Yeah that's right. I shank the troll upside the head.

Zurvan
2015-11-19, 08:01 PM
Relax I always change the temperature with the shower running.

Emperordaniel
2015-11-20, 02:14 AM
"This was the best I could do."

Ninjaman
2015-11-20, 02:41 AM
"The way to deal with orcs, is with a hug."

"It's goblin quality!"

"Let's shave Grimnir's beard while he sleeps."

FallenFallcrest
2015-11-22, 06:27 PM
If you can't trust the word of a Doppelganger, whose can you trust?

noblegasXenon
2015-11-23, 08:09 PM
Pretty!



**this games title made me think of TMLMTBGB...ahahha..**

MouthofSauron
2015-11-23, 11:03 PM
Oh...he said slay the dragon...

Emperordaniel
2015-11-23, 11:29 PM
"...no regrets!"

FallenFallcrest
2015-11-24, 01:02 AM
"Now who put this in the way? That doesn't seem safe. I had better move it."

I would also love to thank everyone who has posted on this thread. It makes me so happy that people have enjoyed this thread for far longer than I would have anticipated. I have a wide smile every time I see that someone else has contributed.

lurkmeister
2015-11-24, 02:14 AM
Whack

"WHEEEEEE I'MMMMM FLYINNNNNNNG ---"

(beat)

(beat)

(beat)

THUDDDDDD

Ninjaman
2015-11-24, 02:21 AM
"I would also love to thank everyone who has posted on this thread. It makes me so happy that people have enjoyed this thread for far longer than I would have anticipated. I have a wide smile every time I see that someone else has contributed." :smalltongue:

"This milk expired yesterday.. oh well."

"I believe I can fly."

"Helmets are for sissies."

MouthofSauron
2015-11-24, 04:40 AM
"Ha, you fool! You only thought my glass was poisoned!"

Xihirli
2015-11-26, 07:30 PM
http://media.makeameme.org/created/m26icb.jpg

Captain Davison
2015-12-01, 10:12 AM
Wait, so it's NOT a health potion?

Razanir
2015-12-01, 08:44 PM
No, I'm undead, I said don't cast Cure!

Emperordaniel
2015-12-01, 10:56 PM
"Yup, it's a genuine solid-gold Rolex."

Ninjaman
2015-12-02, 04:23 AM
"I bet it's just an illusion"

"That's not a knife"

"Watch this"

"My newest invention, Swordchucks!"

Syldar
2015-12-03, 08:42 AM
"Ooh, shiny sword..."

"AM BARBARIAN NOT FEAR DRAGON! AM SMASH PUNY DRAGON FACE ALONE!"

"I wonder what a fireball at point-blank range will do?"

"I kill the goofy skeleton wizard."

Prince Zahn
2015-12-20, 01:49 AM
"I'm so hungry, I could eat a - Oh boy! Is that Jelly?"

lurkmeister
2015-12-21, 09:49 PM
My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard,
And they're like
It's better than yours,
Damn right it's better than yours,
I can teach you,
But I have to charge

Classic rock right there! I'm old


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pGL2rytTraA

backwaterj
2015-12-22, 03:54 AM
"Duck and roll, dude. It'll be fine!"

"And the best part is, the NSA doesn't have a clue!"

"'DO NOT EAT!' Huh. Must be some of that there reverse physiology." *eats*

Ninjaman
2015-12-22, 08:55 AM
"I'm sure that part wasn't important."

"Raptors can't open doors."

"Who spilled ketchup on me?"

Prince Zahn
2015-12-22, 01:23 PM
"Wow bro! Cool costume! It's so realistic! Where'd you get it?"

"Please! Don't do it! It's Christmas! Have mercy! AAAAAAAAGGGGHHHH!!!"

"Gobble gobble gobble! *butchers*"

LadyOfWar
2015-12-26, 07:37 AM
"Beware of spiders?" *opens gate* "What kind of sign is that? Little 'ole spider isn't gonna ...aaaAAAAHHHHHH!"

backwaterj
2015-12-26, 07:40 AM
"I regret nothing . . . OMG, I TAKE THAT BACK, I REGRET ALL THE THINGS!"

Ninjaman
2015-12-26, 09:24 AM
"It can't possibly be flamable"

"Screw buying, I'll build it myself"

Emperordaniel
2015-12-26, 07:44 PM
"I'm sure nothing's gonna go wrong if I leave Santa coal and grease instead of cookies and milk."

FallenFallcrest
2015-12-27, 01:09 AM
A present from my worst enemy? Aw, looks like a chance to finally bury the hatchet.

Scarlet Knight
2015-12-27, 10:47 AM
"I don't care if he is a vampire! He loves me!"

backwaterj
2015-12-27, 02:32 PM
"According to Coyote's Theorem of Gravitational Acceleration, if I don't look down I won't FAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLL!"

"Yes, that dress makes you look fat."

Ninjaman
2015-12-28, 07:52 AM
"That can't have been important"

Syldar
2016-01-04, 08:39 AM
Checking one page on tv tropes can't hurt, right?

What could possibly go wrong?

I tell the greater demon that there's something behind him, then throw a banana peel at his feet and run like Hel.

Emperordaniel
2016-01-04, 07:52 PM
"I'm getting too old for this job. If I have to deal with one more loose cannon officer playing by his own rules, I'm gonna lose my god damned mind! If it's not Willison destroying private property again, it's that maniac Gibbs putting his life on the line! I swear, this whole squad is the reason I've got this ulcer. If the heartburn doesn't get me, it's the constant trips to the bathroom. Getting old is a bum deal.

Thank god, only 3 more days until retirement. Then I can maybe take the RV out to the woods, rent a cabin, and finally finish my novel."

backwaterj
2016-01-04, 09:32 PM
"Excuse me, sir! I'd very much like to join your street gang. I'm a people person with a positive work ethic and 6 years' experience in human relations. Here is my resume, with references attached."

"Eh, red wire, blue wire . . . just cut the lot and be done with it."

Neli42
2016-01-07, 03:54 PM
Oops.

(spoken by a Kender)

Dudeons
2016-01-07, 04:42 PM
"It's over! I have the high ground!" Final thoughts of Darth Maul

Ninjaman
2016-01-08, 01:01 AM
"Bringing a knife to a gun fight is just a saying"

backwaterj
2016-01-08, 01:47 AM
"We'll just walk into the cave, take the bear cubs while the mom sleeps, and sell them for a huge profit. Nothing can go wrong with this plan."

"Don't be ridiculous! You can never have too much lighter fluid!"

Syldar
2016-01-08, 08:50 AM
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHh...

The dragon's asleep. I'll obviously be able to backstab it.

Probably Pixel
2016-01-09, 11:05 AM
What could possibly go-

FallenFallcrest
2016-01-22, 09:04 PM
This looks lIke a job for me, Rabbit-Man! With my control of bunnies, no evil can stop me!

backwaterj
2016-01-22, 10:13 PM
"We're in Africa. I've got marbles. It's time for some real-life Hungry Hungry Hippos!"

Dudeons
2016-01-23, 09:17 PM
"FOR SCIENCE!!"

"But I thought it was opposite day!"

"This hurts much less than it should."

Syldar
2016-01-25, 11:16 AM
Bah. He's obviously down. Just grab the loot.

I don't care if I'm level 1, I'm taking on the tower of doom!

evangaline
2016-01-25, 02:24 PM
....
Yes, I am sure I want to do this. Why do you keep asking?

Ninjaman
2016-01-25, 07:03 PM
I have never failed a spot test.

Let me just bring out my lucky dice.

FallenFallcrest
2016-01-26, 02:46 AM
"This hurts much less than it should."

"This is going to hurt me a lot more than it is going to hurt you!"


"Cheating? Why would you say tha- it would be the ace that fell out of my sleeve, wouldn't it?..."

backwaterj
2016-01-26, 04:39 AM
"Ignore the guy in the dress, go for the heavily armored guy trying to draw our attention!"

KristianaSimone
2016-01-31, 08:56 PM
*To the half-giant* It's just a bun-

Apokolips77
2016-02-01, 07:06 PM
Aww. Look at the cute little Owlbear.

Prince Zahn
2016-02-09, 05:37 AM
"Okay, so I'm going to climb down this chasm now. Don't worry, if I run out of rope, I tied 50 feet of string to the end of it. Here I go! "

"I'm just going to walk into this statue's mouth now."

"I sure hope the Balor is friendly. . ."

Ninjaman
2016-02-09, 07:18 AM
I guess whiskey can work as a healing potion substitute.

Don't worry about that dragon, I brought my thrusty rapier.

Don't worry, I invented a spell for this situation.

Syldar
2016-02-09, 08:39 AM
CREEPER!

I attack the pig-human-zombie-thing. What could go wrong?

Hm... soul sand here, three skulls here...

I REGRET NOTHIIIINNNNGGG!!!!!

Emperordaniel
2016-02-10, 12:13 PM
"I'm sure it's perfectly safe to stand at the edge of this incredibly-high-flying island."

backwaterj
2016-02-11, 05:23 PM
"Ooh, I bet this dark black sphere is worth a lot!"

"I charge the giant!"

"Seriously?! You call this a treasure hoard?! What are you, a white wyrmling?"

Ninjaman
2016-02-12, 02:13 AM
I mock the GM.

Milenkov
2016-02-14, 08:25 PM
"I jump into the portal"

Spoiler: It wasn't a portal. >:(

Duck999
2016-02-15, 11:33 PM
"Don't worry, I've killed many acid breathing dragons in my day."

Laharal
2016-02-16, 02:49 AM
To get the guards from behind we need subtle-OOOOH they heard me.

Ninjaman
2016-02-16, 05:40 AM
Let me just do my sneaky song.

I just need anything but a one.

What do you mean we can't load from last checkpoint?

Belac93
2016-02-16, 07:17 PM
"Hey don't worry, it looks like an over-sized beetle with moth antenna. How much damage could it possibly do to a warforged?"

kaufen
2016-02-18, 02:09 AM
I can't believe there wasn't one of "Hey y'all! Watch THIS!!"

Belac93
2016-02-18, 07:22 PM
I can't believe there wasn't one of "Hey y'all! Watch THIS!!"

That is what my last words will be.

thirsting
2016-02-20, 01:27 PM
These words.

Pex
2016-02-21, 11:47 PM
"Meesa Jar-Jar."

Dudeons
2016-02-22, 01:28 PM
"Twenty percent of the time it works every time."

FallenFallcrest
2016-02-29, 06:51 PM
Just one more assignment and then I can finally go to sleep!

otakuryoga
2016-02-29, 10:57 PM
/stretches
/yawns
"I am sooooooooo looking forward to retirement tomorrow"

Rater202
2016-03-01, 12:23 AM
"That Poem doen'st really make any sen-*get's impaled*"

"Meh, I can take her."

"Oh god, why did I hit on her!?"

"Yeah? Well *F-Bomb* You!

"More *groan* weight."

"Bees!"

"Fool! You missed by a mile!"

"That does it! Now I am mad!"

"I am perfect!!!!"

zubb
2016-03-06, 01:15 PM
"Hold my beer."

"I didn't read the thread if it's a repeat, sorry."

Actually both of those are famous last words.

backwaterj
2016-03-07, 03:42 AM
"You're wrong, Caesar! WRONG!"

FallenFallcrest
2016-03-10, 09:08 AM
"Hey look, there is only ONE MORE DAY until this thread's one-year anniversary! Let's start celebrating now!"

(But seriously, happy one year anniversary, thanks everyone! I'm saying it right now, a day before the actual event., just in case an anvil drops on me or someone stabs me from behind or something :smallwink:)

KerfuffleMach2
2016-03-10, 09:33 AM
"Everybody knows that you have to scare bears away!"

Pex
2016-03-13, 02:44 AM
"What's Russian Roulette?"

Neli42
2016-03-14, 04:52 PM
I wonder what would happen if I were to take this little jar full of the blue stuff and pour into the big jar full of the green st...

Syldar
2016-03-14, 05:52 PM
ATAAAAAACK!!!!!!... RETREEEEEEAAAAT!!!!!

Don't worry, I know I've got this trap disar-

backwaterj
2016-03-18, 01:13 AM
"It's easy, you just charm the vampire and I'll sneak behind and backstab him."

"Nutello! . . . My only . . . weakness!"

Ninjaman
2016-03-18, 03:02 AM
I forgot my gun, can we delay the duel an hour?

Dammit, my sword is at the drycleaner.

This isn't my spellbook, it's my kids coloring book.

Trust me, it works, I saw it in an action movie.

Skald
2016-03-24, 03:34 AM
"Hey, do anti-magic fields negate divine magic?"

KuReshtin
2016-03-24, 07:15 AM
"I am a leaf on the wind. Watch how I...."

backwaterj
2016-03-25, 07:43 PM
"Come on, how hard can juggling chainsaws be?"

"Naw, this will definitely work. I saw it on YouTube."

jscape2000
2016-03-30, 06:54 PM
"No, there's no way that's gonna fit."

Aniikinis
2016-04-20, 07:48 PM
*alien parasites explode from a guy's chest* "...The cornbread wasn't that bad."

Asmodean_
2016-05-10, 01:17 PM
"Actually, Amnestria, that's not a bad plan."

Vivee
2016-05-10, 07:21 PM
"If only... I had more bees!"
10gp to whoever gets the reference.

Asmodean_
2016-05-11, 01:37 AM
"If only... I had more bees!"
10gp to whoever gets the reference.
Pixel dungeon?

I wonder what this bistre potion does.

Ninjaman
2016-05-11, 05:56 AM
*Let Kronk pull the lever*

*These boots are made for walking. They literally can't run*

Vivee
2016-05-11, 12:19 PM
Pixel dungeon?
Nope, the YouTube channel SpaceHamster, Top Ten Useless Video Game Items.

"I trust Gabriel with my life!"
"Yeah! Critical hit! Eat it! Hey, that rhy- OH GOD MY ABACUS"
"Pffft, it's just an illusion."

Lethologica
2016-05-12, 01:25 PM
"Damn, it was a goose."

Vivee
2016-05-13, 08:13 PM
"Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!"
"everyone likes pink text and no capitalization or punctuation"

backwaterj
2016-05-17, 05:22 AM
"Looky here! A rattler! Let's get drunk and poke it with a stick!"

"Really, the trebuchet is far cheaper than airfare. I'm surprised more people haven't caught on!"

"We couldn't do much worse than the current president, could we?"

Dain Broadbeam
2016-05-18, 12:30 PM
"It is the green wire, right?"

"Look, a Panda! I'm going to hug it!"

"Oh, that can't be good." -Nuclear scientist

Ninjaman
2016-05-19, 02:18 AM
I have a really good feeling about this.

What a fantastic moment to try out high heels.

blackstone451
2016-05-21, 07:04 PM
"how was i supposed to know he was going to use an octapus on our secret weapon?!?"

"im pretty sure that its just a cat frank"

"ferb, i know what we are going to do today"

"Yes i filed the tax return properly honey"

"In my highly professional rogue's opinion, the chest is trap-free"

backwaterj
2016-05-22, 03:49 AM
In the spirit of extremely poor taste:

"A white tiger! Now that's something we want to bring on stage with us!"

"Crikey! It's just a stingray! What's the worst that could happen?"

Rater202
2016-05-27, 08:38 PM
"I think we're going to need more bananas."

Asmodean_
2016-05-28, 12:23 PM
"Crikey! It's just a stingray! What's the worst that could happen?"

TOO SOON

:smallfrown:too soon

Vivee
2016-05-28, 01:45 PM
"Don't worry guys, I put all my skill points into Preform(Flute)!"

Rater202
2016-05-28, 02:22 PM
"There's not enough pudding in the world to save us now."

Vivee
2016-05-28, 04:24 PM
"Just click the link! What's the worst that could happen? (http://i.imgur.com/haWiy30.png)"

backwaterj
2016-05-29, 02:24 AM
"'All you can eat' brings up an interesting question: how much exactly can I eat?"

"Pointy end forward, pointy end forward . . ."

Ninjaman
2016-05-29, 12:58 PM
"Did I load this thing. I think so."

"Watch my knew whirlwind of flailing blades of death technique"

"It was on the floor for six seconds. Oh well."

Syldar
2016-05-29, 08:38 PM
*Destroy world.

*Do not.

Rater202
2016-05-30, 10:25 PM
"Damn you, you bas-thunk."

backwaterj
2016-05-31, 01:18 AM
"...like those Star Wars Klingons."

Ninjaman
2016-05-31, 09:16 AM
"These Irish bars are really nice. Oh that reminds me, two Irishmen walk into a bar.."

Rater202
2016-05-31, 04:57 PM
"So, two goblins and a kobold walk into a bar..."

FlurryOfPosts
2016-06-25, 10:17 PM
"I really thought horse intestines would make a stronger rope."

Rater202
2016-06-26, 04:15 PM
"What kind of person names a bird 'Moses?'"

backwaterj
2016-06-29, 05:32 PM
"Hey Deadpool, I like your Strong Bad costume!"

Kevrandrus
2016-06-29, 05:38 PM
"And I still say gravity is only a theory!!!" ((as he jumps off a cliff))

Rater202
2016-06-29, 05:52 PM
"There is no such thing as fairies."

JohnTheSavage
2016-06-30, 03:53 AM
"Five second rule!"

Ninjaman
2016-06-30, 03:07 PM
"What's behind this door?"

Rater202
2016-06-30, 07:41 PM
I'm Henry the Eighth I am.

Syldar
2016-07-01, 04:39 PM
Justice RAINS from- ack!

Vivee
2016-07-02, 11:35 AM
"Have you tried turning it off and back on again?"
"Yes! Natural 20! What now Mr. Stupid DM?"
"DM? More like Pee M! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

Mister Tom
2016-07-10, 02:33 PM
"Well done, everyone! Okay, I've put the rubies in my bag of holding. My turn to take the second watch tonight."

Vivee
2016-07-13, 06:18 AM
"Don't worry man, I'm taller now. Everything's going to be fine."

Ninjaman
2016-07-13, 05:32 PM
"Does a 15 save?"

"Wait, did I remember to drink that anti magic potion?"

Rater202
2016-07-20, 01:32 AM
Come on. one more time! 99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer!

Lord Raziere
2016-07-20, 01:46 AM
"Don't worry I'm a Wizard, I can solve anything!"

LastCenturion
2016-07-22, 08:56 PM
"He wouldn't have bothered trapping two doors in a row..."

"You paid the toll, right?"

ViscountGrey
2016-07-29, 09:27 AM
I'm only 2 days from retirement...

Vivee
2016-09-05, 12:28 PM
"Even though we have different opinions, we can still be friends.

LastCenturion
2016-09-05, 03:19 PM
"Raise a glass to freedom..."

Too soon?

Kad
2016-09-05, 07:04 PM
"The bridge can't be an illusion, he just walked across it."

Sniccups
2016-09-25, 12:12 PM
That horse is too small! Get an elephant!

Where did the book go... (gets attacked by university staff, including an orangutan)

That can't be the Tarrasque!

It's just a hawk... NO, IT'S A ROC!

Kuo-toa are harmless, right?

No one could survive that!

I WILL sunder that halberd!

Just Helping
2016-09-25, 10:52 PM
Oh, it's just a little dog. Hello doggie!

Vivee
2016-09-26, 12:59 PM
"...huh? Sorry, drifted off a bit there. Why are we in a cage?"

Syldar
2016-09-27, 07:52 AM
Duke's Dear Freja on intensity 3? What could go wrong?

I'm doing it and you can't stop me!

Um... The meatshield went down the hall first. Yeah. That's right.

Ninjaman
2016-09-28, 10:50 AM
"I brought plenty of arrows."

"I got ten minutes until the invisibility wears off."