How to play exalted?

[Jowgen]

The book of exalted deeds is long and has a lot of snippets of info throughout on how to properly play to the "exalted good" standard. Anybody happen to have a condensed version of the dos & don'ts handy?

[Troacctid]

Ask yourself what someone you consider to be a true paragon of goodness would do. For me, I think of Michael Carpenter from the Dresden Files.

[ApologyFestival]

Don't: Bother. Okay, I'll admit I'm not being helpful, but as you said the Book of Exalted Deeds is a real slog to read through.

I have tried playing Exalted in a party before. It's largely incompatible with d20 gameplay, and unless an Exalted character's entire party is also Exalted, there will be conflicts.

My biggest beef with Exalted is that it plays up to a definition of Good that isn't really supported by the rest of the game's lore. There aren't any deities whose behaviour qualifies as Exalted, there are no Good outsiders who are Exalted. None even come close to my knowledge--most angels are right at home wading through the blood and guts and ichor of evildoers. Why bother struggling with an ultra-idealised and impractical moral code that even the most loving gods don't abide by?

[Seclora]

The book is...questionable. Several of the ideas conveyed in the BoED are tantamount to brainwashing, and at least one spell is almost explicitly designed for that purpose. Exalted players are the Paladins other Paladins call Goody Two-Shoes. In light of this, I would advise the following if you wish to play an exalted character, and have cleared it with your DM and party(You have done so, yes?).

Generosity, consider tithing your income to the poor and destitute of your society. Help those in need whenever you can, and actively seek opportunities to do so.

Loyalty, Do not backstab your allies and party members. This ought to be a given for any good or even neutral character, but is especially important if you're exalted.

Honesty, never lie unless it would endanger others if you did not. The truth is a powerful and important thing, but it is not a weapon and should not be wielded.

Kindness, you are not malevolent, and even when compelled to use force, you do so reluctantly. Derive no pleasure from the misfortune of others and seek to reverse the harm that has befallen any being; whether good or evil.

Laughter, never take yourself too seriously. You're the sort of person who is going to try and talk to the BBEG hoping to convince him not to pursue his goals. You're a druid who built around Wild Empathy instead of Wild Shape. The prime example of the Exalted character is often regarded as the lowest form of optimization, the VoP Monk! I once played alongside an Exalted Ranger who, I kid you not, asked the cornfield to help us battle an army. You're ridiculous, and you should know it.

Magic, It Worked. We laugh at the VoP Monk, but those who've played alongside one who did it well, or played one ourselves know how powerful those characters really are. Not in numbers, not in damage or ability to control a battlefield but in how they shape the world around them and the campaign itself. You've chosen to play the character so unabashedly good that you confronted the ten-thousand year old lich and instead of opening with a surprise round of Mass Snake's Swiftness on your Expansion'd Tashalotora Psychic Warrior, Half-Giant Barbarian, and small army of summons and Planar Allies, you convince him to let go this foolish dream.

Obviously, I have watched a lot of My Little Pony. But the principles are the same; ultimate good should seem incomprehensible to even mundane good. You do not get to cut corners or take shortcuts; you are Good, and Good does not get to do those things. No matter how much harder that makes things. This may make you look like Miko Miyazaki sometimes, and you should always be careful to not be stupid good, but that is the price of being Good. People will not understand, and it's not important that they do. What is important is that you always carry yourself with the highest standards in mind.