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View Full Version : Journal Pun-Shot: A 5e one shot journal with a dark secret



woodlandkammao
2015-03-16, 02:49 PM
So at my university's tabletop gaming club a one-shot night was recently held to introduce the mostly Pathfinder-focused players to 5e. Three separate one-shots ran, a high-level hardcore simulationist game, a low-level, serious but slightly more laid-back group and one more humorous group, whose GM held a terrible secret. It was in this last group that I had my first 5e experience, and I feel the story deserves sharing with the world, or at least the Playground.



Player Characters were created independently of each other, so there was some overlap. Because players had to come and go a bit during the night (represented in-game by them failing to show back up after splitting up in towns) we had six party members, but usually 4-5 in the party at any one time. All PCs were level 3.

Nick-Tooth: Half-orc Fighter(eldritch knight)
Nick-Tooth was the stereotypical half-orc in one way. He was dumb. REALLY dumb. His alignment was described only as "Chaotic Chaotic". He had acquired his name after witnessing a fellow mercenary taking gold fillings from a skull and not quite grasping that teeth without gold in them were not usable as currency. He became an eldritch knight because he could make pretty lights more easily, but as long as the party kept him pointed at the enemy he was a useful meat shield with a really big axe. For some reason he had a Cockney accent. He was also used as a mount by the next member of the party.

Halfling Dan: Halfling Ranger (hunter)
For someone who has never heard of OOTS, this guy made a weirdly Belkarish PC. A Neutral Evil ranger with a crossbow and some anger issues, Dan was not nearly as interested in gold as he was in hats. When time came for payment Dan was only interested in one thing, did the employer have a nice hat? Failing that, did the BBEG we were after have one? Sometimes the NPC gave Dan their hat. Sometimes the NPC became the hat. He was perfectly happy with his size, however, as it gave him a better line of fire at other's privates.

Sarah: Half-elf Sorcerer (Wild Magic)
The least unusual of the team, Sarah was a Lawful Neutral caster who just wanted to get the job done and get paid. She had great Charisma and powerful social skills, but was loath to use them because she (and the girl playing her) felt like whenever she used her charm she came across as rather suggestive (no fault of the GM or other players, it's just that half the time we were trying to get the NPC alone for some interrogating)

Gilan Wolf's-Follower: Wood Elf Ranger (beast master)
Yours truly, Gilan was the token straight-man among this band of misfits, as well as the only Good member. A little paranoid (in no small part due to metagaming and knowing the GM), he maxed Perception and Nature and checked every bush and corner for monsters and traps, as well as tracking whoever he thought might turn out to be the BBEG. His last name came from the much teased fact that his wolf companion Fens actually had higher charisma than him.

Gav Goatherder: Drow Rouge (Assassin)
Abandoned at a young age by followers of Lolth, Gav grew up alone in the mountain ranges of Gavart (the home-brewed setting) He eventually became shepard of a flock of wild goats, although according to him, he had been elected leader democratically. Recruited for his knowledge of the region, he bonded a bit with Gilan over their shared love of animals, and usually ended up watching his back while Gilan checked for surprises.

Bearfist: Human Monk/Moon Druid
Perhaps the most optimised party member, Bearfist's multiclass gave him some powerful synergies, but most of the time he was happy to just turn into a bear and punch people in the face. Hence the name. He was quite outspoken, Chaotic Neutral and very shirtless most of the time, but he had a great sense of humour and was happy to soak up damage for the 3 archers and Sarah.



The one-shot began as Gilan and Halfling Dan were hired to lead a hunting party of nobles. Along the way they met Nick-Tooth, who had been following the wild animals to collect teeth from the deer skeletons they left. Upon ambushing a particularly large bear for the nobles, the trio were quite surprised when the bear turned into a person and kindly asked if we would remove our arrows from his liver. After a few healing spells, Bearfist joined up and we started our own little adventurer's guild, recruiting Sarah as our magical expert and happening across Gav Goatherder when he attempted to stab Fens the wolf for sneaking up on his flock. After a few mundane fetch quests and bandit camp raids, the party was hired by a mysterious warlock to investigate an equally mysterious curse that hung over the distant town of Johanurg.



Upon arriving, the guild were met by a curious landscape. In many ways, Johanurg was an idyllic, walled town in the midst of beautiful forests and bountiful farmland, at the base of a great mountain range. But not all was well. In the last three weeks, mysterious creatures had savaged the livestock. The town's main export, the valuable herb Dragonlily, shrivelled up and died in the fields. Icy cold winds swept down from the mountainside. But in spite of the hardship, for some reason every merchant in town had tripled their prices and refused to explain why.

We were at a loss as to what could cause such a change in the world, so we split up. Bearfist and Sarah hit the books, looking for ancient spells that might lie upon the area. Gilan, with Gav in tow, wandered through the town investigating every nook and cranny for clues. Dan and Nick-Tooth found a tavern and got very drunk, then tried to pay in teeth.

After several fruitless in-game hours, we got a bit desperate. Bearfist, disguised as a polar bear, mugged a merchant in an alley to see what kind of coins he was carrying (strange gold coins marked with a mysterious symbol). Gilan scaled the tallest point in the town to observe the countryside. Unfortunately this was the steeple of an ancient church, and strictly off limits. Gav tried to cause a distraction, by pretending to be attacked by Fens. He rolled a nat one. Fortunately, passers-by all stopped to see why the strange drow was trying to shake hands with a wolf using shortswords. At the top of the spire, Gilan could only spot two features that were not on his map. A small clearing in the middle of the woods to the east, and a cave on the mountainside, which looked to have been uncovered by a rockslide. Finishing his observations, he dived of the roof into a pile of hay, right by Nick-tooth, who upon being told his bag of teeth was not adequate payment had set out to get more teeth from patrons of another bar in a brawl. With the gang back together, and only a few new mysteries and two new hats to show for it, Sarah suggested going to a local farm and finding out more about the effects of this curse.





An hour later, on a small Dragonlily plantation, Sarah and Gilan were going over specimens of the herb with Arcana and Nature, but could not find anything magical. Bearfist was uprooting trees to check their roots and to show off, while Nick-tooth
complained that the elves were too fond of hiding in the foliage to observe passing trade wagons. Or in his words, "pointy-eared gits prefer the bushes to the people" Gav, meanwhile, had found a small flock of goats and was interviewing them for information on the mystery predators.

It was, in the end, Fens who found the next clue. A strange scent trail next to a suspiciously broken fence led into the woods. Following this trail, the guild entered a strange glade where large patches of grass were covered by lumpy, black and white mounds. Gilan identified them as some kind of sleeping creature, and Nick-tooth announced that he was going to sneak up on one. He took a few steps, tripped loudly over his own axe and was instantly set upon by giant. vicious. Badgers.

Nick-tooth was in trouble, but was saved by Halfling Dan who rolled great initiative and proceeded to murder-hobo his way through an entire onslaught of the beasts. With Sarah Ensnaring several badgers at a time for the rouge and rangers to pick off and Bearfist engaging what appeared to be the King Badger in hand-to-hand combat, we fought our way through wave after wave of badgers in a battle deserving of legends and epic poems. Eventually we were victorious, with Nick-tooth rejoining the fight after losing his axe but discovering the bludgeoning power of the swung corpses of woodland animals.

Loaded up with nothing but the finest badger pelts for trophies and hats, we returned to the farm to share the good news that the scourge of his flock was no more.



We had found the mysterious predators, but we still had no idea what the other troubles were or what was behind them all.
But when we returned to Johanurg, a new discovery awaited



Halfling Dan left the party the next day in-game, heading off to seek hats in distant lands.

On our way to the tavern, we found an unusual performance in the main square. A flamboyant wizard on a magnificent stage was performing with jets of fire, shaping them to his will and destroying suits of armour in a demonstration of his power. Gilan was instantly suspicious, and crept up to the stage to examine it. By examining the wood and the marks it had left in the ground, he was able to deduce it had been erected in the past month. While he did this, Sarah just asked a townsman when the wizard had come to town.

When it was revealed that the mysterious magician had started performing here only a few days before the curse had begun, the party decided they had to question him. After knocking him out. Sarah, as a charismatic fellow magic user, struck up conversation with the wizard after his performance, and soon had invited him to dine with her at the tavern.

A shortcut to which, she explained, was right down this alleyway. A few steps into it, she took his hand. and then cast Shocking Grip. Stunned for a few seconds, the wizard was tackled by a wolf, a half-orc, and then became the second person in Johanurg to be punched by a polar bear. None of this mattered, however, because he simply teleported back into the town square, yelling for the town guards. The party beat a hasty retreat, throwing bags of caltrops in their wake.



Gav got out of the town and hid amongst his new goat friends for a few days. The rest of us, after laying low in a loft for the afternoon, tracked the wizard with Hunter's Mark to the clearing Gilan had seen a few days previously. In it stood a large log cabin.



After several minutes scouting out the clearing from every possible angle, and ignoring Nick-Tooth's suggestions on how to set fire to the building, we decided to try using Bearfist's Charm spell to get the wizard to forget our previous encounter. He walked right up to the door, knocked, then cast the spell when he heard movement on the other side. It seemed to work. The wizard opened the door and greeted him as an old friend, and invited him inside, where they talked for several minutes about the curse, until Bearfist accidentally ceased the Charm spell.

This was bad. What was worse was that nothing happened to the wizard. He had been bluffing. He calmly explained that he was sure there was a good reason for what happened earlier, and invited the rest of us, who thought we were hidden, inside. Gilan was quite sure that this was a trap, but entered at Sarah's insistence.

The wizard seemed quite eccentric, but from what the party gathered he was merely a talented pyromancer who made a living in the area as a performer. When Sarah bluntly asked about the curse, all that the wizard could say was that he had seen a giant creature in the cave on the mountain the day the dragonlilies had wilted. Suspecting a Dragon, the party left with apologies to the old wizard.



Upon reaching the cave, the party was attacked by flying Kobalds. Strangely, these were little more than an annoyance to us, and the party defeated them in only a few rounds. Surely these could not cause the curse? The only clue was a scrap of paper one kobald had on him which showed a map to another cave, two days journey south. After camping in the forest nearby overnight, we set off for the next cave.



Since Gilan had forest as his favoured terrain, the party arrived early the next day. This cave looked a lot more menacing, most ominously, a small plume of smoke drifting from the mouth of the cave. There was little the party could do but enter.

A hundred paces into the cave lay a gigantic door, carved from the solid rock. It was from beneath this door that the smoke billowed. Abandoning all pretence of subtlety, the party charged into the chamber that lay beyond. It was as we feared. On a small pile of gold lay a gigantic red dragon, clearly ancient beyond belief. It lazily raised it's head and stared at us, and rumbled something that none of us understood. Except Bearfist. He understood Draconic, a surprising feature but a welcome one.

The dragon did not attack. Instead it merely asked Bearfist why we were here. Truthfully, he admitted that we were seeking to lift the curse. Sarah and Gilan suspected this was the 'lair effect' of a dragon, but this cave lay miles away from Johanurg.
The Dragon seemed surprised as well. It had lived in the cave above Johanurg for centuries. It didn't want to fight, it was too old to breathe proper fire anymore, just smoke. It had fled its old home a month ago when a powerful new fire-breather had taken up residence in the area.

Everything clicked into place then. The firebreather was the wizard. The dragon's magic warming the air on the mountainside had kept the area fertile for dragonlily and the threat of an alpha predator kept wild animals away from the region. Over the centuries the townspeople had grown accustomed to the unnatural warmth of the northern forests, until the dragon left. The curse was actually the removal of a curse. (The strange coins had been the dragons hord, pillaged by kobalds when the dragon fled and coming into the hands of merchants through trade with the barbaric tribes)





Nick-Tooth and Sarah Went straight back to the warlock for their pay. They had found the secret of the "curse".
Gilan and Bearfist stayed in the region, and with the help of Gav, negotiated between the dragon and the wizard so that the wizard knew that the dragon was not hostile, and the dragon knew that the wizard was not a rival dragon. With the dragon living in the mountain once again, prosperity returned to Johanurg.

(happy endings, yay)





Later, when the group was packing up, the guy who played as Bearfist asked how the GM had come up with an idea like that for the wizard.
The GM looked us straight in the eyes and sang.



''I'm too hot
Hot Damn
Call the Police and the Fireman

I'm too hot
Hot Damn
Make a Dragon wannna retire man''



We still haven't forgiven him.




I hope you enjoyed the story

Jacob.Tyr
2015-03-18, 08:25 AM
I laughed my ass off at that inspiration. Wish I had finished reading this when I wasn't at work...

mikeejimbo
2015-03-18, 02:20 PM
I am in awe.

woodlandkammao
2015-06-15, 11:38 AM
Thanks. It was a fun experience.