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Realms of Chaos
2007-04-10, 10:43 PM
Let's face it, everyone has moments when they feel they have encountered or become evil DMs. Whether they nerf your character, get overly creative, or have a bit too much fun telling you what you cannot do, some of these mortifying experiences can turn into terrific (and hilarious) stories.

Here's one from my DMing experience:
As a bit of background, a male player requested to be a female cleric. I knew that he was immature but I allowed him and warned him to act his age...
1 Week Later
Me: I'm sorry. I warned you this would happen. A girdle of gender changing pops from mid air, clamps onto you, and disintegrates.
Cleric: What? Aren't you going to give me a warning?
Me: I already did.
Cleric: Wha?! Can't I at least make a fortitude save?
Me: Why not?
Cleric: Yes. Natural 20.
Me: Congratulations. You succeed... for half effect.
Cleric: Wait, I'm a hermaphrodite?
Me: Not quite, after the girdle removed your gender, you resisted its attempt to give you a new one. You are now completely genderless.

Foeofthelance
2007-04-10, 11:08 PM
Milk and cookies. As a reward. For rescuing a pet monkey named Bobo. At level 5!

'Bout says it all I think.

Kel_Arath
2007-04-10, 11:45 PM
Haha, well I think my story involved the campaign where the only competent player was a rogue, and I kept throwing undead and constucts at them.

Mr. Moogle
2007-04-11, 12:17 AM
I remember a camaign where the fighter (my snoty little brother, who insists an playing with my freinds and i) is a total metagamer, but he has godly rolls (who ever heard of 4 18's?) so he is able to singlehandedly beat any punishment i throw at him. one day they are looking for a key to the mysterious "shadow relm" and he sees a key lying on the ground. rushing twoards it he fails his spot check and runs headfirst into a gelatinous cube (which he actually escaped from. now he nolongr metagames and he has stocked up on spot :smallbiggrin:

Sergeantbrother
2007-04-11, 12:18 AM
I was in a game once where it was basically a dungeon crawl. We entered a room in the dungeon and saw a group of humanoid beings whose faces were partially pale white and partially pitch black. They were dressed in black and white and had hideous distorted face and large weapons. They ran us with their weapons when they seems to be mysterious stoped by an invisible wall. We took advantage of this and attacked, dispatching them easily.

After killing them we found some writing on the wall of the room that said "A mime is a terrible thing to waste" then the DM said that we had just killed a bunch of lawful good mimes and he penalized us a huge amount of experience.

Yeah, I should have smacked him around.

Helgraf
2007-04-11, 12:45 AM
I have, I admit, inflicted some bad puns on my players over ... gads, nearly 20 years of GMing.

But thankfully, my players have never pushed me far enough to unleash my most disturbing entity on them.

Specialist Wizard: Disney magic.

Cue screams of horror here...

Jade_Tarem
2007-04-11, 01:16 AM
I had a bunch of Maruts grab the over-the-top necromacer in one of my games after he hit a certain number of animated dead and drag him to mechanus to stand trial for crimes against death. The rest of the party laughed themselves sick, as this was just the most recent of his powergaming schemes and had been talking for ages about how cool it was going to be when he had his undead horde.

Inyssius Tor
2007-04-11, 01:29 AM
... necromacer ... hit a certain number of animated dead...

heh heh.

Well, I played one game with an eight-year-old DM (I was eleven at the time); he flat-out refused to let me play anything that wasn't CR 20+, a monster, and dripping with templates. And he grabbed random monsters from optimization boards.

That was my first game ever. Ahh, the memories.

Krimm_Blackleaf
2007-04-11, 02:15 AM
I once pulled a Darth Vader on one of my players.

This necromancer (the PC), as most of us were, was at one point a small child. When he was only about the age of 8, his small farming community was invaded by an evil lich and his undead legion, and as this diabolical lich laughed as thie little boy's vilage burned down and he watched his own father get his head beaten in by mindless undead.

He ventured and sought out information and found out it was a lich that had done it, though he did not know what lich. He took his father's farming scythe and made it battle-ready and wanted to make it his prized weapon with which he could use against the lich that had wronged him so.

He became a dread necromancer, figuring a master of death is the one that may destroy one that is dead. He adventured, grew more powerful, attained wealth and magical prowess. One day he ran into a town with a lich as a lord over it. This lich did not let anything on, but sent them on a mission for more wealth. They accomplished the task, went on their way (actually dying and having their bodies and equipment recovered and resurrected in the abyss to face challenges given by demons) and at one point they met the lich again, after their encounter in the abyss he had found out said lich was actually the one that had killed his father.

They fought, one on one for a while until the lich paralyzed him and unsheathed his sword, pointing it at his throat. The necromancer blurted out "You monster, I seek vengeance against you for killing my village and killing my father!"

At which point the lich laughed very very evilly and amusedly and shouted out "Kill your father? No, don't be a FOOL! I did not kill your father! I AM your father!" and quickly coup de graced him with a sword up his neck and into his brain.

....I was planning that for ages. It made me smile.

Viscount Einstrauss
2007-04-11, 09:08 AM
For the last dozen or so sessions straight, I've been leading the party to inadvertently fight a major god of good, and I did so because I realized that my players too often take bloodthirsty measures and I wanted to teach them a lesson. They DID start to fight him, but they took the first hint of a warning and backed down, somewhat to my surprise. So I fell back on the other horrible plan I had in mind- their actions over all these sessions has been leading to the ressurection of an evil world-destroying god, and now they're going to have to fight that.

Failing this clear attempt to screw them right the hell over, I've already planned out what happens if they succeed- he's warping space and time around him, and the players had to leave all of their magic gear several miles outside of his domain because the outwards wall has a continuous mages disjunction-like effect. They won't be getting them back, since destroying the god will transport them several months in the past. This will also cost them the small army they were putting together and all the riches they bullied promises for from the rest of the game world.

I think this deserves a villainous laugh. Mwahaha. Mwahahahaha. Bwahahahahahaha!

Realms of Chaos
2007-04-11, 09:13 AM
Wow, this thread jumped literally overnight. Wasn't expecting that. Don't forget to share things that other DMs did to you. Venting is fun.

This happened the first time that my brother tried to DM. I played a Dread Necromancer with Corpse-tainted soul. I call it The Most Blatant Railroad Ever

DM: There is a doorway in front of you.
Me: Am I in a town?
DM: Yes.
Me: I walk away from the doorway.
DM: What? You aren't going to the door?
Me: No. I'm going to look through the rest of the town and then leave it, in the exact opposite direction from the door if possible.
DM: Which way do you move?
Me: to my left.
DM: The Ground collapses under you 10 feet.
Me: Okay, I'm going to cure myself via charnel touch.
DM: Ok.
I continue climbing up to get further only to have the ground collapse each time, meaning that I need to heal myself once more. Later...
Me: Wait a moment. I'm in a town with no people and collapsing floors?
DM: This wouldn't happen if you just entered the door.
Me: I don't want to.
DM: Mom, he's trying to annoy me.

It's funny cause its true. :smallbiggrin:

KoDT69
2007-04-11, 10:24 AM
Well as an evil DM myself, I try to make each night's adventure segment a punchline somehow. I also like to pit them against things like the Super Mario build, Hulking Hurlers, and other fun stuff. Here are some detailed examples.
1 - The PC's were in a village of short humans 4' tall max called Trids. The village was at the base of a huge mountain. Stone giants came down daily to kick the Trids as torture and amusement. The village cleric accompanied the PC's on a peace mission to get the giants to leave the Trid village alone. The punchline from the stone giant chief was "Silly rabbi, Trids are for kicks!"... You had to be there :smallamused:
2 - A pair of giants (same general mountainous area as above) one Fire Giant and one Storm Giant. They were dressed in red and green overalls respectively and had big black rubber boots. They charged into battle and lept into the sky, one arm up. The Storm Giant (Luigi, also weighing in at 12,000lbs. leaping 50-60 feet up) landed on the Monk who took like 780 damage. Mario missed the barbarian and was charged and ganged up on since he was smaller. The party barely managed a win there. It was awesome!
3 - I had one dungeon stocked full of Aurak Draconians with Improved Bull Rush, Dash, Shock Trooper, Power Attack, and Leap Attack. Not only did they do loads of damage, but literally exploded on death, making them real Shock Troopers!
4 - The ECL 12 party got pwned by a pair of 6th level goblin sorcerers and some 4th level goblin rogues with superior tactics and terraine advantage. God they were so mad, those Ray of Enfeeblement spells combined with Mirror Image and Expedious Retreat left the party wishing they had found a dragon instead!
5 - The back then ECL 6 party was almost killed with highly skilled bluffing 1st level rogues dressed as clerics of varying, but not real religions. They had peace signs, anarchy signs, and smiley faces as holy symbols, and used the bluff skill to make the PC's believe they were getting affected by spells (reference when Varsuuvius ran out of spells and just yelled "Sonic Blast" or whatever). It was so funny when they realized what was going on. I used the same rules as disbelieving an illusion.

Hitchhiker
2007-04-11, 10:39 AM
Hehe. I love stories like these. Lets me know that I'm not alone.
Our group frequetly plays in a gaming/comics store, which is like a magnet to all kinds of tiny little munchkins who just can't wait to get their grubby little mitts on the new 'Superman' comic book they're not going to bother taking care of, or snagging a pack of Magic cards they're going to try to decipher for ten, twenty minutes, tops, and then stow them away in their room to never be found again.
Anyhoo, one day a regular to our group walks in with a little kid, his nephew, who desperately wants to jump into our already 12th-to-15th level campaign with a premade 1st level Elf Sorceror he grabbed out of the D&D Basic Game Box Set. We're skeptical, but as I'm DMing, and the little kid (Steven, twelve years old) really wants to play, I go ahead and let him in with the warning that he wouldn't be able to use the Sorceror. One of our player's characters recently bit the dust, and I had him in my nifty little DM's Folder™ for no adequately explained reason, so I tossed him to the kid (as this was a one-day affair) and told him to rename him so he could play for the day. A few of our Magic-Obsessed players were wandering the store, checking out the new expansions, so I called for a half-an-hour break so the rest of us could make our purchases and the kid could get acquainted with the character (a fifth level rogue, seventh level fighter).
Forty-five minutes later (as we all [minus Steven] gathered around to stare at the brand spanking new Colossal Red Dragon for ten minutes, and one of us couldn't put down one of the Complete series sourcebooks) we settled ourselves down at the gaming table. I asked Steven (who had been studying the sheet) if he could play the character now, for about an hour and a half. I had planned for a mostly roleplaying experience today, so I wasn't too worried about him messing up in combat. The kid said yes. I asked him the new name of the character, to find, to my dismay, he had christened him 'Nick Fury'.
Time-pressed, and really not wanting to inquire further, we went on.
The characters had been staying in a small town, built over a spring near the foot of a mountain, for several days, trading with the locals and hoping to build trust to the point where they would find information about the recent killings of several lizardfolk. Now, today, the characters split up to question some townsfolk, the party rogue (the one besides the previously dead, and now alive, character) heading to the Tavern with the wizard. The barbarian, not having helped much in the previous atttempts to gain information, stayed at the inn. Nick Fury went out with the recently created Paladin, to make small talk with the locals in the streets.
Steven just couldn't seem to grasp the concept that repsect was supposed to be used.
He immediately spotted a local (after asking, "I rolled a 16. Do I see anyone suspicous?") who looked a little out of the ordinairy. He had two face piercings, the most notable of which was a long, looping earing on one ear, and bead that seemed to be embedded in his chin. He told the paladin that the best course of action would be to play 'Good Cop Bad Cop', where the paladin would be the good and he the bad. The paladin asked him what 'Good Cop Bad Cop' was. After a quick explanation, the paladin asked why this was needed, as the person to be questioned wasn't a criminal. This made 'Nick' angry for some reason, and he asked, 'Are you with me or against me?' The paladin told him that that was needless, and that he just wanted to get the job done in a more practical way. Nick, (and Steven) outraged for no adequately explained reason, began to attack the paladin, with a poisoned shortsword.
Steven: "I sneak attack the paladin with the poisoned sword!"
Me: "That's, uh...sure...you can't sneak attack him."
Steven: "What are you talking about?"
Myself: "You're in plain sight."
Steven: "That doesn't have anything to do with it!"
I, thoroughly undecided on how to explain it to him: "Look, uh...you can't sneak attack him, end of story."
Steven: "Gah! Fine!"
The simple attack on the paladin was quickly stopped; it didn't pass through his armor class, and the paladin saw fit to disarm him with his whip. Steven, pouting over the turn of events, tried to 'round-house kick the traitor' as he described it. Ignoring the impossibility of the task, (he was wearing plate mail, for goodness sake!) I gave him a roll to make a successful kick.
I was sorry I had, immediately following.
Nat 20 and a 19 confirm; he managed to kick the paladin in the face with a boot. He made out like a bandit on the damage, too. The paladin took sufficient damage to the head to knock him out, and Steven begins laughing in the player's face. Not wanting to penalize him for doing it (he's twelve years old!) but wanting to subdue him, I had the locals begin to call for the guards: and the sound is sufficient (they were right near the Tavern) to bring out the wizard and rogue. Wizard, seeing the trouble Nick's causing, brings it to a near halt with a Magic Missile. Nick, hit, goes down to twenty-something points, and Stevey begins wailing about the damage, and how his character's about to die, and how we're not giving him a fair chance. The other players respond quickly about how it's really his own fault, and Me, Myself, and I, not really wanting to listen, begin rolling up some basic stats for two town guards.
In they come, and as the argument comes to a halt with neither side flinching, Nick skewers a guard with a well-aimed strike from the aforementioned shortsword. Idiocy ensues.
Right, so, I really don't remember the rest of the battle, and I'd rather not type out what I do remember. The kid became more and more angry, listened less and less to the rules, and killed several more guards, all the while evading the wizard and managing to bring the rogue down. This takes about an hour, and slowly, my DMing began to get more and more restrictive. I managed to make the rolls for the guards a little less pitiful, and tacked on some extra stats that weren't there before. Eventually, wearied and at 3, Nick (and Steven) just explodes. He begins ranting about some kind of injustice that's happening, while the Paladin's player was getting bored. Out of the great well of evilness most DMs seem to draw upon in the middle of their games, I pull out the Paladin's deity, who heals him sufficienly and brings him to his feet behind Nick. He manages to whip the guy around the neck, kick him on the ground, and start beating him over and over to 'teach him a lesson'. The gaming group actually started chanting 'Fifty lashes! Fifty lashes!' Steven's mother arrived around that time, and, with a cheery smile, took him off our hands.
It actually amazes me that Li'l Stevey had that great a capacity for ignorance, but, in the end, we decided the session hadn't happened and later played out an alternate one. Nick's character sheet was later burned at the stake in a sadistic ritual in my backyard.

valadil
2007-04-11, 10:44 AM
I've done plenty of stuff, but this is the most recent.

One morning, the wizard's raven familiar refused to come with the party. He said he had met someone. Someone turned out to be Simone, another raven. And naturally, Simone was another familiar. Oh and of course the familiar belonged to the group's enemy. They figured this out though, so I didn't screw them over too badly for it. But it was fun and they hadn't dealt with that kind of thing before in any of their gaming.

Ashdate
2007-04-11, 11:04 AM
This isn't entirely the DM's fault, but...

.. we were underground, our party of ~ 4th - 5th level characters, with the knowledge that there were trolls around waiting to kick our asses. I should point out that this was AD&D I suppose. Anyway, the six of us decide to hole outselves against a dead end, and use this magical rock we found which, when the command word is uttered, grows into a sort of home, with beds and everything. Some of the characters elict to sleep inside the home, the others decide to stay outside.

The DM asks us 'how many hours are you sleeping in it?' the reply is naturally '8' so we're fully rested.

DM: Ok. You're all dead.

Needless to say we were shocked a bit. He explained the house only would stay open like that for 8 hours, thus crushing us if we were still inside. Bam. Campaign over.

Now, the funny part (if you can call it that) is that it was discovered that the portable home thing only works once a day... and that was our second attempt at using it. No takebacks however on that day.

- Eddie

Karellen
2007-04-11, 12:43 PM
Man, I seriously don't get that kind of thing. You go to sleep and bam, you're all dead? Not only is that major rules lawyering, and seriously, what's the point? That's got to be the lamest TPK ever. Seriously, what a disgrace. One day I might start to understand GMs who deliberately screw their own campaigns over by randomly killing all PCs in ways that don't even count as funny, but it's not this day.

Sundog
2007-04-11, 01:14 PM
I was running a campaign that included the mage Magnus the Pretentious (self named, I should note). This was back in 3.0, and he was fond of flying around obliterating things with hasted double fireballs while invisible. The Paladin didn't understand why his Detect Evil never seemed to work around Magnus...

Anyway, one day the party goes up against an opposing Sorceror ad his minions. Magnus flies high, invisibly, and starts raining death from above. The Sorceror replies by casting Dispels, defending his bunch while waiting for the archers to pincushion Magnus.

Magnus runs out of Invisibility, so he goes to Mirror Image, and finally manages to nail the Sorceror, just after said Sorceror has manged to dispel his Flight. Which wouldn't be a problem, except that just after the Sorceror goes down the last archer knocks Magnus to -2 hp.

So, the Hobgoblin Fighter/Thief runs forward to catch Magnus. He activates his Boots of Speed to reach the location, and makes the DC 20 Dex check to actually catch the plummetting wizard.

Then I say "Roll for which image you caught."

Jade_Tarem
2007-04-11, 01:25 PM
One time one of my players decided mid-fight to side with the BBEG (the party was of low enough level that they couldn't hope to beat him yet) rather than die (he figured that with the BBEG backing him he could gain enough XP to stay level with the party and work at cross purposes, maybe even to take away the BBEG position - pretty ambitious). The rest of the party responded by attacking him to put him out of action (he went to -5 or something) and leaving him behind. The BBEG awakened him by bringing him to 1 hp with repetitions of cure minor wounds.

Craghakdor Moltenfury (Colossal++ Red Dragon): "Ah, you're awake. Good."
Ranger: "So... I'm working for you now?"
Crag.: "Hm? Oh, no. No chance of that, I'm afraid."
Ranger: "What? So... why did you heal me?"
Crag.: "I just wanted to let you know how funny I think this is going to be." *Breathes Fire*

The ranger was completely vaporized.

Maxymiuk
2007-04-11, 01:37 PM
Then I say "Roll for which image you caught."

Eeeebil! Love it.

Did he at least catch the right one?


Mine is from a game a few months ago. The party had been hired to take back the grains a bunch of goblins stole from a village. During their search t hey've found out that the goblins only stole the grain to feed themselves, since a dragon was overhunting the local animal populace. Through various discussions, arguments, tactical and diplomatic blunders, the group finally came up with a plan to make the dragon - Saldzar - the leader of the goblins... without telling the old chief - Hraask - about the arrangement first. Finally, things came to a head...

Saldzar: Tut, tut... poor you. Now are we going to have that fight... or should I just eat you? *licks his lips*
** Caedmon Thaal says nothing. **
** Hraask suddenly realizes what the dragon is saying and blanches. "Hraask can't fight dragon! Dragon not goblin!" **
Weaponsmaster: Hah! Goblin law not say chief must be goblin!
** Caedmon Thaal grins widely, and starts paying more attention to the shaman than to the weaponsmaster **
** Hraask turns to the shaman "That not true!" **
** Goblin Shaman looking extremely uncomfotable "Er... it... it true." **
Hraask: No! That... that not fair!
** Saldzar snickers. **
Saldzar: Oh, I suppose you're right. You'd hardly be a challenge. Tell you what, how about I name a champion to fight in my stead, hmm?
** Crowid Beestinger barely holds in the laughter. **
Hraask: Er... Champion? What that?)
** Kelsrod Duthertin blinks twice. Suddenly this seems slightly less funny. **
Saldzar: It means, you poor, uneducated creature, that I get someone else to fight with you, but should they win, I still get to be chieftain of the tribe.
Hraask: That... er... then... If so, Hraask name champion too!
** Saldzar hmms. **
Saldzar: Yes, yes, that does seem fair, doesn't it? I accept. Who will be your champion?
** Crowid Beestinger stops laughing. **
** Caedmon Thaal mutters "Coward" under his breath. **
** Hraask turns and points "Weaponsmaster Gjorn fight for me!" **
** Weaponsmaster does not look amused. **
Saldzar: Very well. Now, who should fight for me then... *looks over the party* I suppose I have my pick, don't I. *grins* Any volunteers?

Mewtarthio
2007-04-11, 01:50 PM
I've done plenty of stuff, but this is the most recent.

One morning, the wizard's raven familiar refused to come with the party. He said he had met someone. Someone turned out to be Simone, another raven. And naturally, Simone was another familiar. Oh and of course the familiar belonged to the group's enemy. They figured this out though, so I didn't screw them over too badly for it. But it was fun and they hadn't dealt with that kind of thing before in any of their gaming.

A Raven named Simone? Who's the Disney Channel fan?

SpiderBrigade
2007-04-11, 04:00 PM
"Simone! Simone! I paid for the cheese grater, Simone!"

Phoenix Talion
2007-04-11, 04:28 PM
Right- anyone in my game is not allowed to read this, I know at least one of you hangs on the forums. Not this section, I beleive, but you're warned. You know the penalty for disobeying the DM.

One of the PC's has a backstory involving the death of his significant other, and it's his fault, something that greatly lowers his mental stability. He's a very good roleplayer, doing the part without it getting in the way of the game. There aren't many other people I would let play a character who hears voices.

One of the BBEG's lieutenants is his "dead" ex. I can't wait for them to find this out, especially since the rest of the party thinks he's a heartless bastard.

Oh, and she blames him for her "death" too.

I also randomly ask for Spot and Listen checks when there's nothing to notice. Keeps them on their toes.

lacesmcawesome
2007-04-11, 04:38 PM
Phoenix, you truly are a master of cruelty.

(but that is hilarious anyways)

Helgraf
2007-04-11, 10:46 PM
Ahh yes, the semi-random spot/listen checks.

The occasional fake Will or Fortitude save called for.

The right mix of illusions and not-illusions.

I once had a dwarf player charge headlong down a corridor to prove it was an illusion.

Boots of S&S ... 4x run. 120 ft/round face first into a stone wall covered by illusion of empty space.

I assessed the poor blighter a goodly number of d6s of damage. As I recall he dropped to -9 on the spot.

Bassetking
2007-04-11, 11:09 PM
"Simone! Simone! I paid for the cheese grater, Simone!"

Transmetro!

I have actually managed to pull off the "Chairleg of truth" in one of the games I participated in...

Phoenix Talion
2007-04-11, 11:16 PM
Ahh yes, the semi-random spot/listen checks.

The occasional fake Will or Fortitude save called for.

The right mix of illusions and not-illusions.

I once had a dwarf player charge headlong down a corridor to prove it was an illusion.

Boots of S&S ... 4x run. 120 ft/round face first into a stone wall covered by illusion of empty space.

I assessed the poor blighter a goodly number of d6s of damage. As I recall he dropped to -9 on the spot.
*wince*

A just-happened one that I have to share- I have a wood elf NPC who they just captured. They just assumed that the barbarian only spoke one language and started translating, not realizing she does, in fact, speak common. So I decided that she'd take advantage of this and pretend not to.

So they're talking about "should we hand her over to the authorites" and making the odd racial slur about barbarians, and she's understanding every word.

I had intended this to be a friendly NPC...

Irenicus
2007-04-11, 11:53 PM
Well personally, I think there are two types of Evil Dm's... the kind who are evil for the purpose of story advancement or some other highly valid reasons, and the kind who are evil simply because they're born bastards.

Of the first type:

The classic "You get captured. No, your twenty fortitude save doesn't work against the sleeping poison. Yes, it works on elves. Deal with it."

Of the second:

"Your lawful good paladin has finally achieved his lifelong quest of avenging his father's quest at the hands of Baron Nightfall. Oh, but what's this? It appears his Clone was standing behind you. With a very large sword. Get rolling that new character! Also, your entire family is killed in retribution. And you go to Hell for failing as a paladin."

PnP Fan
2007-04-11, 11:55 PM
The first instance that comes to mind is a guy that has long since been un-invited from my gaming circles. Once day he was running a Werewolf game with his wife, me and his brother-in-law as players. The BiL took some advantage (read: ADVANTAGE) that allows him to get along better with spirits, with the potential down side that he might also attract some not so nice spirits. Well, the first session out, the BiL is trying to contact some spirits for information, and of course the first thing that happens to show up is a Bane spirit, which is bad news (for non-White Wolf folks, think of being a 1st level character and running into a 7 or 8 HD undead with level draining abilities). We nearly die, and wind up running away, because the DM decided to use something that is supposed to work to the player's advantage, into a disadvantage. He was constantly bullying his BiL in any game the two of them were involved in. It was kinda sad, really. One of many reasons he was asked to leave.

SMDVogrin
2007-04-12, 02:32 AM
Well personally, I think there are two types of Evil Dm's... the kind who are evil for the purpose of story advancement or some other highly valid reasons, and the kind who are evil simply because they're born bastards.

Of the first type:

The classic "You get captured. No, your twenty fortitude save doesn't work against the sleeping poison. Yes, it works on elves. Deal with it."

Of the second:

"Your lawful good paladin has finally achieved his lifelong quest of avenging his father's quest at the hands of Baron Nightfall. Oh, but what's this? It appears his Clone was standing behind you. With a very large sword. Get rolling that new character! Also, your entire family is killed in retribution. And you go to Hell for failing as a paladin."

Well, personally, I'd classify the second type as an a-hole GM, not an Evil one (and the first as a railroader, not an evil GM).

There is a difference between inspiring thoughts of "Man, I wish we had someone else willing to DM, this guy's a real so-and-so" and "I hate you, I hate you, I hate you... Same time next week? I can't wait to continue this."

Silkenfist
2007-04-12, 09:03 AM
"I hate you, I hate you, I hate you... Same time next week? I can't wait to continue this."

If I hear this (or something similar), I know I have done something extremely good. Make evil adventures and opponents that completely intend to hurt the players with every means possible...but if they find a solution (and even if it is one you don't like much) accept it with a shrug. You'll get them sooner or later. Just don't change rules at will, railroad them too much and change the situation ad hoc just because the group has it too easy.

Maxymiuk
2007-04-12, 09:17 AM
If I hear this (or something similar), I know I have done something extremely good. Make evil adventures and opponents that completely intend to hurt the players with every means possible...but if they find a solution (and even if it is one you don't like much) accept it with a shrug. You'll get them sooner or later. Just don't change rules at will, railroad them too much and change the situation ad hoc just because the group has it too easy.

If I get my players to mutter "You absolute bastard" and then go ahead and trounce whatever I threw at them, I know I'm doing something right.

It gives me that warm, fuzzy feeling right in my evil bone.

Premier
2007-04-12, 10:29 AM
2nd ed. AD&D, play-by-post games with relatively high-level characters (around 9-11):

The party enrolls in what they believe to be a secret group of elite mercenaries in the king's pay, whose task is to defuse a formenting rebellion through guerilla warfare. Little do they know that their commander is in fact the very one formenting the rebellion and plans to use the mercs to saw chaos, but that's not the point right now.

Anyway, they get order to move out of the hidden camp, set up a road block on a nearby road masquarading as a local noble's soldiers, and intercept a courier carrying a message from city A to city B. (Map of the realm clearly reveals that this means a courier approaching the roadblock from the east.) Since this is a covert operation, all this must be done with minimum fuss.

So, the party heads out and on the way encounters a small patrol of (real) soldiers who stopped to look into some minor matter of no importance. Since the patrol didn't spot them, the party could easily circumnavigate the location with minimal loss of time. Party shenanigan 1: they decide to attack the patrol despite being on a stealth mission.

Once the patrol is wiped out, they move on to the roadand set up a roadblock. After a few hours of waiting and letting an unimportant merchant pass, a man wearing a royal tabard approaches on horseback... from the west. Claiming to be a royal messenger, he waves around some letter of passage and demands to be let through. Party shenanigan 2:the party, failing to realise that the guy is coming from the opposite direction as their quarry, engage the messenger and bring him down in a hail of arrows and magic, then hide the body and the dead horse in a ditch overgrown by tall grass.

While they're busy covering up the signs of battle, they spot four horsemen appear in the distance, this time from the east. They stop and look ahead for a few moments, then split up: one turns north and leaves the road, another turns south, and two turn around. (This were the real messengers carrying four copies of the message. They had orders to split up and head on westwards on separate routes in case of any trouble.) Party shenanigan 3: realising that they've been spotted by the four unidentified riders, the party decides that the situation became untenable and the should leave, still not realising that the messenger they killed could not have been their target.

Oh, before this, a new player joined the game and his character was introduced as a messenger from their employer carrying a note that once they're done, the party should head not back to the original camp, but to a new location a day or two to the west.

Anyway, the party decides to leave, and for no reason that I could comprehend, they start heading east. After a few hours' of travel, they spot a large group of horsemen coming up ahead, and they wisely hide in the bushes. The horsemen stop near them for a minute, and some dialogue that the characters overhear reveals them to be a patrol of some 20-30 men from the nearby city sent out after one of the four messengers went back and notified the garrison of the road block. After a few moments of rest, the patrol thunders off to the west. (As you can guess, I've been feeling generous and used this encounter to tip off the players that the messengers they're supposed to intercept are still afoot.)

Finally, the characters get the message that they've killed the wrong guy in the first place, and turn around in an attempt to find those four riders they've spotted from the distance. After several hours of walking (they're on foot), night falls, and they overtake the patrol which has made camp along the road. In the darkness, it would be easy to circumnavigate them. Pary shenanigan 4: they (IIRC, 7 or 8 of them at this point) decide to not go after the messengers, after all, and instead attack the patrol's camp, for no good reason beyond it being there.

It was at this point that I broke out the Evil DM Kit. The two sneaky characters (thief and monk) who snuck into the camp to stampede the horses were spotted, captured (I had nothing to do with that; the monk had a pretty bad Move Silently skill but insisted on going), and securely bound. The rest of the party, which has split up and attacked from three directions, suddenly found that the army patrol consisted of elite 5-6th level fighters supplemented by spellcasters and rangers. Two characters were blinded and simultaneously lit up (making them easy targets for archers) by the wizards casting Continuous Light on their heads; one character was forced to run by a Phantasmal Killer, one was stopped in his tracks by Evard's Black Tentacles. The party's fighter/necromancer, who was acting as the central prong of the attack by his lonesome, was set upon by the rangers, who were hiding in the darkness and the tall grass and kept disrupting his spells by sniping him with bows.

Everyone in the party survived (the thief and the monk managed to slip their bonds and ran), but barely. And, since they were attacking from opposite directions, they couldn't even team up, as they had to run for their lives in opposite directions while chased by the soldiers; and it took them several days of adventuring to finally meet again.

Lapak
2007-04-12, 10:39 AM
Everyone in the party survived (the thief and the monk managed to slip their bonds and ran), but barely. And, since they were attacking from opposite directions, they couldn't even team up, as they had to run for their lives in opposite directions while chased by the soldiers; and it took them several days of adventuring to finally meet again.

That's not evil. That's generous. :smallsmile:

As it worked out, though, they were actually serving the person they thought they were by joining the other side and going Three Stooges on him! They're actually incredibly clever.

Really.

EvilElitest
2007-04-12, 11:42 AM
I am a very evil DM normally,

but worst when i am pissed

I was running a game at hte local gameshop (By logcal i mean an hour's drive away) and i told to be nice to the players

So a few of my good friends and a few people i would like to play show up and make characters
And some kid comes in, sits down to play acting like his seen it all before
After he found out that this game is 12 level, he starts to laugh. He says he will play the wizard, so that he could be a powergaming bastard. All of my other players had already made their characters and he was more powerful than any of them, something he made sure to rub in their faces. After putting up with his rants about how much better wizards are and how none of the other classes had a chance i was pissed
His final straw was when the fighter (played by one of my best friends) tried to make a plan to attack the evil cultists they were up against and the little powergamer yelled at him for making a plan based on the figther's understanding of the situaiton, then proceded to go into a rant about how underpowered fighter's are.
When i told him to shut up, he said that i can't do anything to stop his plan because i had already stated that there were only four enemies they were against (a wizard, a cleric, a rouge, and a monk) and that i don't have time to roll up a new monster. he also said that (none of this was directly to me but to the other players) that because of his such and such build, he could defeat practilly anything i put up against him. When told his build (min maxing) was quite unrealistic, he said that in a world with these rules, why wouldn't a wizard do this?
So i changed the states of the wizard, making them exactly the same as the little powergamer. Suddenly this guy who hated roleplay was up against himself. He lost.
Ever time a player does that, i make another character exactly like that to fight time. Its fun
from,
EE

Bel_Bel
2007-04-12, 02:34 PM
I am a very evil DM normally,

but worst when i am pissed

I was running a game at hte local gameshop (By logcal i mean an hour's drive away) and i told to be nice to the players

So a few of my good friends and a few people i would like to play show up and make characters
And some kid comes in, sits down to play acting like his seen it all before
After he found out that this game is 12 level, he starts to laugh. He says he will play the wizard, so that he could be a powergaming bastard. All of my other players had already made their characters and he was more powerful than any of them, something he made sure to rub in their faces. After putting up with his rants about how much better wizards are and how none of the other classes had a chance i was pissed
His final straw was when the fighter (played by one of my best friends) tried to make a plan to attack the evil cultists they were up against and the little powergamer yelled at him for making a plan based on the figther's understanding of the situaiton, then proceded to go into a rant about how underpowered fighter's are.
When i told him to shut up, he said that i can't do anything to stop his plan because i had already stated that there were only four enemies they were against (a wizard, a cleric, a rouge, and a monk) and that i don't have time to roll up a new monster. he also said that (none of this was directly to me but to the other players) that because of his such and such build, he could defeat practilly anything i put up against him. When told his build (min maxing) was quite unrealistic, he said that in a world with these rules, why wouldn't a wizard do this?
So i changed the states of the wizard, making them exactly the same as the little powergamer. Suddenly this guy who hated roleplay was up against himself. He lost.
Ever time a player does that, i make another character exactly like that to fight time. Its fun
from,
EE

NICE! Kinda evil, but I totally understand it with an annoying dude like that. Good work! :smallbiggrin:

Matthew
2007-04-12, 05:51 PM
Hah, good work EE.

Back in the days of (A)D&D, I had lain down the Dungeon Master Shield and taken up an Elven Specialist Cleric Character Sheet. We were doing the Menzoberranzen Adventure, mixed in with a few other side adventures, and were completely destroying the encounters through good character builds and tactics. I was in particular lording it over the DM, as my Cleric rained down death upon his foes via his Long Bow and the other Player Characters were happily obeying my orders (as we were winning).
Needless to say, we got ambushed in a tunnel by Undead versions of everything we had so far defeated. Once they had killed my Character, they retreated, leaving the rest of the party intact. I complained about the injustice of it, bemoaned my foolish pride and went home to get my Paladin... (I didn't live far away).

Deepblue706
2007-04-12, 05:55 PM
One time I threw an adult red dragon at a group of level 2-3 PCs. That's not evil, right? I mean, I gave them some old walls to hide behind and like..a potion of cure light wounds or two...

EvilElitest
2007-04-12, 11:35 PM
NICE! Kinda evil, but I totally understand it with an annoying dude like that. Good work! :smallbiggrin:

Thank you, and best of all, i uses the brat's own logic
"If a caster could do this, why wouldn't he"
I did the same, and lucky me i'm the DM, so i can use mulitiple casters like that
From,
EE

lacesmcawesome
2007-04-13, 06:20 AM
One time I threw an adult red dragon at a group of level 2-3 PCs. That's not evil, right? I mean, I gave them some old walls to hide behind and like..a potion of cure light wounds or two...

Imagine if they made it by some feat of luck? Like the dragon rolled natural 1s-5s every time? That would be insane.

KoDT69
2007-04-13, 06:41 AM
Depending on the group's equipment, stats, and builds, the dragon rolling a 5 might still make them sweat! But the dragon would have to be played fairly sub-optimal for 2nd and 3rd level characters to really defeat it.

Tormsskull
2007-04-13, 07:07 AM
Let's see, Evil DMs where I was the player:

Back in 2nd edition, I'm playing a samurai. I have to follow whatever my lord tells me too, because if I disobey him I become a ronin and only get 50% exp. Well what do you know, my master is the BBEG and is revealed as so in session 1.

I'm all like "Master, how can I serve you?"
And the master's like "Die!"

Same DM, different campaign:

The party gets introduced to these two old ladies. They are incredibly nice by my spidey-sense is going off like crazy (call it "Somethin's bout to go down' radar.). So the old lady opens this door and tells us to walk on in. The party says ok but I immediately say "I don't go in, I want to put my back to the door to make sure that if she tries to close it I can prevent her."

The DM says "She shoves you into the room and close the door." No roll, no check, nothing.

Same DM different campaign:

The PCs are standing in a throne room, talking to our boss. He has stiffed us and we're about to open a can of whoop ass on him. The DM says "Make a spot check." No one rolls very high. Then he says "The boss pulls a lever and a net falls on you all, securing you to the ground."

I"m like "Uh? Reflex save?" He says "You didn't see it falling so there's no way you could have gotten out of the way."

I don't play with that DM anymore...

Times when I was evil as a DM:

Back in 2nd edition, a player walked to this bookshelf and started examining it. He pulls a book off and starts reading it. So I hand him a sheet of paper. The paper has all this malarky on it that didn't mean didley squat. But at the bottom of the page it says "If you don't notice this within 15 seconds you're sneak-attacked."

So I count the 15 seconds, and then I say "You're sneak-attacked." Yeah, it was kinda evil.

KoDT69
2007-04-13, 07:27 AM
I'm so stealing that last one Torm!

Erom
2007-04-13, 07:42 AM
A DM I play with frequently gives us limited time to solve certain problems. Like, oh hey, the room you are in bursts into flames (there was a good reason behind this). Actions from everyone in 15 seconds or you take a round of fire damadge.

SteveMB
2007-04-13, 07:45 AM
One time while running a Champions game back in the day:

Player: [rams his car at full speed into supervillian] "What effect did that have?"
Me: [rolls a bunch of dice and checks notes] "It made him rather angry."

(This was the same session where another of the players separated from the group to take on a mind-controlling villain... do I really need to spell out the hilarities that ensued? :smalleek:)

TomTheRat
2007-04-13, 07:48 AM
Me: "Ok, empty tavern. I search the area while the party stands on guard"
DM: "Hmmk. Roll search"
Me: "wewt, natural 20... thats a 29"
DM: "k. Roll fortitude"
Me: "er... 12"
DM: "You die."

Me: :-(

Kyace
2007-04-13, 08:11 AM
Tom, you must have found the beer of annihilation.

SteveMB
2007-04-13, 08:19 AM
2nd ed. AD&D, play-by-post games with relatively high-level characters (around 9-11):

The party enrolls in what they believe to be a secret group of elite mercenaries in the king's pay, whose task is to defuse a formenting rebellion through guerilla warfare. Little do they know that their commander is in fact the very one formenting the rebellion and plans to use the mercs to saw chaos, but that's not the point right now.

<snip details of misadventures and unnecessary fights>

What reward did they get from their employer for accomplishing their mission above and beyond the call of duty? :smallsmile:

Ranis
2007-04-13, 08:34 AM
I was running a game at hte local gameshop (By logcal i mean an hour's drive away) and i told to be nice to the players

See, you know those stickers on the BoVD and BoED? That say: Explicit: Mature Audiences Only?

I think those stickers should be on each book for this very reason. Keep the kids away.

Or, at least set height parameters; "You must be this mentally tall to play."

Oh, and good work, EE.

Deepblue706
2007-04-13, 10:08 AM
Imagine if they made it by some feat of luck? Like the dragon rolled natural 1s-5s every time? That would be insane.

Actually....

Not one of the PCs died. I was very disappointed.

EvilElitest
2007-04-13, 11:15 AM
See, you know those stickers on the BoVD and BoED? That say: Explicit: Mature Audiences Only?

I think those stickers should be on each book for this very reason. Keep the kids away.

Or, at least set height parameters; "You must be this mentally tall to play."

Oh, and good work, EE.

That is
A very good idea
I can't stand whiny kids, ever

Another evil thing i did
The trap above the door a stone slab falls from above. the fighter rushes in, uses tumble and avoids the stone slab. They look up and see the room above them. As they try to get up, a second slab falls from the room abovethat, making a crude stair case. Players think i'm being nice and they can now see hte sky so no more stone cubes. They want to get up into the room above them so they can save the guys below them (Four flours all together) So they all get on top of the last block, and then it falls though the floor on top of the captive ranger below them. As they try to get back up again, a gelatin cube falls on them.

Hey, it said Kobalds made good traps in the MM, what can i say
from,
EE

SMDVogrin
2007-04-13, 11:21 AM
Me: "Ok, empty tavern. I search the area while the party stands on guard"
DM: "Hmmk. Roll search"
Me: "wewt, natural 20... thats a 29"
DM: "k. Roll fortitude"
Me: "er... 12"
DM: "You die."

Me: :-(

Bu-huh?

OK, what exactly is the rest of this story, or does your DM just actually hate you?

Talanic
2007-04-13, 11:26 AM
Bu-huh?

OK, what exactly is the rest of this story, or does your DM just actually hate you?

My bet? Symbol of Death.

Kyace
2007-04-13, 11:33 AM
Seems like some sort of contact poison against a rogue with low con. Sassone leaf residue maybe? (DC 16;does 2d12 hp init and 1d6 Con secondary; only costs 300 gp)

Silkenfist
2007-04-13, 12:02 PM
Yeah, but shouldn't a natural 20 (total 29) on your search check enable you to find the poison, especially since even lowlevel rogues are likely to be trained in the use of it? Maybe the DC to find the poison time was 30, but my bet is rather that the DM broke the unwritten rule of "Good roll = good outcome"

If I put contact poison somewhere, I'd let the players roll fortitude as soon as they fumble...or fail a check. No way that the stupid Barbarian randomly patting around has a lower chance to do something harmful than the highly skilled trap monkey.

JackMage666
2007-04-13, 12:08 PM
I once had two brown bears rip off the face of a player. Not really evil, I suppose.

Ooh, one time, I had two scorpions litterally rip apart one player who annoyed me.
The same player earlier tried to steal and run from a desert camp and was run down by Lamias. Then, sold to the slave market. That one was necessary. He was blatantly trying to steal and trick people, while he was a LN Monk. Poor people, nontheless. The slavery was just an added bonus, for him being stupid enough to try to escape the Lamias when they imprisoned him.

TomTheRat
2007-04-13, 01:04 PM
Bu-huh?

OK, what exactly is the rest of this story, or does your DM just actually hate you?

A ghost with 5 levels of rogue, 1 level of assassin, and a Ghost Touch Shortsword +1. He crit me with the Death Attack he pumped up while I was searching. The sneak attack damage alone killed me, never mind my failed Fort save.

QQ.

Serenity
2007-04-13, 06:44 PM
So basically it is that your DM hates you. Less egregiously asshatish than the Cutscene McGee DM detailed above, I suppose...

karmuno
2007-04-13, 06:46 PM
I like to think of myself as a generous, if a little strict, GM. I have one story from another DM though:

We were playing in Ebberon, and I was a level 5 cleric of Kord (or the Ebberon equivalent, I don't remember his name). I go into this bar in the slums (I think I was looking for an assassin by the name of Iazalian. That name brings back fond memories, but that's another story). I take a swig of their local specialty, but I can't swallow it (literally, I failed my Fort save). The bartender ridicules me, so I call him out. Anything goes. I hit him with my magic greatsword (I don't remember the specifics, but it was at least +2 and I think it was spell-storing), thinking that'd be enough to take him down. It merely shakes him, he pulls out a short sword, and promptly hits me for thirty-some damage. I cast sanctuary, but his next strike gets through it. Next thing I know, I'm lying unconcious in an orphanage with all my possessions gone (including my Citadel identification that basically gave me liscense to do anything) and my bag smelling strangely of urine. Long story short, he was the leader of the assassins' guild, and his short sword was ridiculously magical (I never found out the specifics, as the campaign ended prematurely when the DM and a couple of the players had a falling out. It's a pity, I liked that campaign). I had to borrow the paladin's money for the next few weeks (thank God paladins have to serve the clergy).

The closest I've come to that is forcing encumbrance penalties on my players after they robbed a bank. I need to evil up a bit.

Laesin
2007-04-13, 07:17 PM
The Party. A Drizzt clone, A Human Wizard and an Elven Cleric. The Situation. Due to them bypassing a huge chunk of content they each receive a Wish a few levels before they were meant to and before encountering the situation the wishes were supposed to resolve.
The Results. The Wizard wishes to become the God of Magic Result? Congratulations you are now a god of magic, you have no followers, you vanish in a puff of logic. The Cleric "I wish to be able to speak, read and write Common, Elven and Undercommon." (the other two had been using undercommon to speak as the drow couldn't speak common. They had also schemed a LOT) Result Okay you can now speak Common (and only common), read Elven (and only Elven) and write undercommon (and only undercommon). The drow wisely decided to save his wish for an emergency. Oh the fun I had with the cleric for the next few sessions. Especially since his God would only accept his prayers in Elven.

kamikasei
2007-04-13, 07:36 PM
The Cleric "I wish to be able to speak, read and write Common, Elven and Undercommon." (the other two had been using undercommon to speak as the drow couldn't speak common. They had also schemed a LOT) Result Okay you can now speak Common (and only common), read Elven (and only Elven) and write undercommon (and only undercommon).

Man, that's pretty evil, considering the humble nature of the wish.

Logic
2007-04-13, 07:54 PM
Man, that's pretty evil, considering the humble nature of the wish.
Especially since if he did word it like you did, he should have been able to speak, read and write all of those languages.

RandomNPC
2007-04-13, 08:08 PM
i described a traped hallway recently, if you already read that skip the next paragraph.

the party comes to a hallway, each section with a gate, a keyhole, and a trap before the next gate. keyholes turn off traps, but they have no keys and no lockpicks. first hallway colapses and they take a day to dig out. second one has a pit trap. they leap it to find a reverse gravity pit trap with a fake ceiling. third burns them all for lots of damage. fourth takes them crawling across a thin bridge, anyone who stands up gets a whif of a dizying gas that forces a balance check and a save to not fall asleep. next is a ceiling that slams the target down casting reduce person and forcing them down a thin tube, with an anti-magic field. the anti-magic makes them go to normal size and take crushing damage. the last one has a magical aura so they get all paranoid when they cast detect magick.

so, after the evil hallway they come to a vault filled with mist, reducing vision to ten feet. kobolds use the partys torches to target them, and the wizard finds a white dragons head poking through a hole in the wall. it yells at him, the jaw drops, and he takes 12d6 cold, as does the monk. wizard almost dies. like -8 almost. the wizard gets a healing potion stuffed down his throat, gets up and blasts the dragon with a lightning bolt. fake scales and construction materials go everyhere and the kobold with an empty ring of spell storing dies too.

later on, maybe ten minuets game time, a huge red dragon steps out of a meld with stone spell, and everyone is in range of the upcoming breath weapon, except the dragon took its surprise round to step out of the wall and offer a chance to surrender. the party fighter leaps foreward and deals 68 damage to it, it dies and turns back into the now dead kobold it used to be. (tweaked polymorph)

they don't know what color's next, or if it's even going to be the real one... and i'm just following what the pre-published adventure says to do. granted i'm changing colors on them so they can't research it.

Laesin
2007-04-13, 08:58 PM
Man, that's pretty evil, considering the humble nature of the wish.

To be fair. I was extremely annoyed with them all. It was my first time as DM, they were all veteran players and they had metagamed ridiculously throughout. That and they were huge fans of the Standard Three Page Wish Contract with every possible punctuation except the full stop.

Tallis
2007-04-14, 12:24 AM
The Results. The Wizard wishes to become the God of Magic Result? Congratulations you are now a god of magic, you have no followers, you vanish in a puff of logic. The Cleric "I wish to be able to speak, read and write Common, Elven and Undercommon." (the other two had been using undercommon to speak as the drow couldn't speak common. They had also schemed a LOT) Result Okay you can now speak Common (and only common), read Elven (and only Elven) and write undercommon (and only undercommon). The drow wisely decided to save his wish for an emergency. Oh the fun I had with the cleric for the next few sessions. Especially since his God would only accept his prayers in Elven.

I agree, what you did to the cleric was pretty evil. On the other hand, what you did to the wizard was hilarious and, I think, totally reasonable.

Kyace
2007-04-14, 01:01 AM
So the cleric used his wish to be able to speak with the only remaining party member? And you punished him for it? That poor Drow will likely be too afraid to use his wish.

The belt of dwarvenkind only costs 14,900gp. Wish for 25k in gold then go ask a wizard to craft a belt that lets you speak, read and understand undercommon. Heck, the elf might like darkvision too.

EvilElitest
2007-04-14, 10:59 AM
The Party. A Drizzt clone, A Human Wizard and an Elven Cleric. The Situation. Due to them bypassing a huge chunk of content they each receive a Wish a few levels before they were meant to and before encountering the situation the wishes were supposed to resolve.
The Results. The Wizard wishes to become the God of Magic Result? Congratulations you are now a god of magic, you have no followers, you vanish in a puff of logic. The Cleric "I wish to be able to speak, read and write Common, Elven and Undercommon." (the other two had been using undercommon to speak as the drow couldn't speak common. They had also schemed a LOT) Result Okay you can now speak Common (and only common), read Elven (and only Elven) and write undercommon (and only undercommon). The drow wisely decided to save his wish for an emergency. Oh the fun I had with the cleric for the next few sessions. Especially since his God would only accept his prayers in Elven.

Is he a Drizzt clone if he can think ahead so much?
from,
EE

Silkenfist
2007-04-14, 11:02 AM
To be fair. I was extremely annoyed with them all. It was my first time as DM, they were all veteran players and they had metagamed ridiculously throughout. That and they were huge fans of the Standard Three Page Wish Contract with every possible punctuation except the full stop.

And you are punishing the Cleric because he didn't submit a Three Page Contract? What exactly do you think he will be doing next time. In the end, you have probably just hurt yourself.

Lolzords
2007-04-14, 02:02 PM
Most evil. The DM got bored with our campaign and instead of taking the players aside and admitting he is bored with it (like a past DM has done) he decided that a gigantic hand came up from the dungeon floor and crushed us, instantly killing us with no save.

EvilElitest
2007-04-14, 07:53 PM
I vary on my Wish evilness depending on who is giving the wish. Genies, Demons, gods ect are always VERY evil when it comes to wishes

Example, a guy wished for a ring of three wishes. He was able to do that because he had done some specail huge quest to basiclly get an epic wish.
Did give him the wish ring (he needed all three for a quest) but it was being wore by an advaned pit fiend

from,
EE

Laesin
2007-04-20, 08:41 PM
And you are punishing the Cleric because he didn't submit a Three Page Contract? What exactly do you think he will be doing next time. In the end, you have probably just hurt yourself.

No, I punished the cleric because he was the biggest metagamer of the lot of them (for me at least) the three page contract thing was something they had spoken about repeatedly but assumed that because i was a new DM I wouldn't interpret wishes literally and therefore they didn't need it. Their most frequent clause was "With no harmful unintended results to me, my party or anyone else i care about".

BardicDuelist
2007-04-20, 08:50 PM
A room full of 15 HD rust monsters, with 26 CON, and ghosts with randomized ability damage.... the PCs had no cleric or paladin or ghost touch weapons. The next room contained an aboleth.

Also, when somone wished for a ring of three wishes, I gave it to him, but with all the charges used up.

RandomNPC
2007-04-20, 09:07 PM
my group is afraid to use wish without double checking with me that the wish is legal by the spell discription and not likely to backfire, they also hold off if i seem sleepy, annoyed, or distracted.

evil things i do.... mostly just fluf stuf, not to much actually changing the game. like the fuzzy pink bunny slippers of spider clmb.

ok, something i've done. the fighter lost his blade to a rust monster, and 1/3 of his feats were worthless. so he finds this sword in the middle of a frozen lake, pulls it out with a nice str. check, and falls in the watter, with only small blocks of ice floating randomly while melting. he thinks its a frost burst weapon. its just a +1 sword that freezes bodies of water the first time it's submerged in the paticular body of water each day. he doesn't know the gargantuan dragon can throw him into its drinking spring either. i love gargantuan critter abilities, like grab, it's so simple, and so silly.

Dant
2007-04-20, 10:09 PM
I like to think of myself as a generous, if a little strict, GM. I have one story from another DM though:

We were playing in Ebberon, and I was a level 5 cleric of Kord (or the Ebberon equivalent, I don't remember his name). I go into this bar in the slums (I think I was looking for an assassin by the name of Iazalian. That name brings back fond memories, but that's another story). I take a swig of their local specialty, but I can't swallow it (literally, I failed my Fort save). The bartender ridicules me, so I call him out. Anything goes. I hit him with my magic greatsword (I don't remember the specifics, but it was at least +2 and I think it was spell-storing), thinking that'd be enough to take him down. It merely shakes him, he pulls out a short sword, and promptly hits me for thirty-some damage. I cast sanctuary, but his next strike gets through it. Next thing I know, I'm lying unconcious in an orphanage with all my possessions gone (including my Citadel identification that basically gave me liscense to do anything) and my bag smelling strangely of urine. Long story short, he was the leader of the assassins' guild, and his short sword was ridiculously magical (I never found out the specifics, as the campaign ended prematurely when the DM and a couple of the players had a falling out. It's a pity, I liked that campaign). I had to borrow the paladin's money for the next few weeks (thank God paladins have to serve the clergy).

The closest I've come to that is forcing encumbrance penalties on my players after they robbed a bank. I need to evil up a bit.

Well, to be fair, you did decide to fight a tavern owner. That's like a major no-no. Everyone knows that all tavern owners are level 20 retired adventurers who keep their sword under the bar. It's just a bad idea:smalltongue:

Dencero
2010-05-30, 02:45 PM
As a DM, I try to work with my players to make a great story and have fun. But at times, I like to mess with their minds. I have two parties; One full of experienced who know what they're doing and like to roleplay. They're harder to mess with them, but I try. Like this:
They're working with the BBEG to take down a Church of Torm Stronghold. The party consisted of an Ardent, Hexblade, and Urban Ranger. I was going to make it hard for them to get inside, but the Hexblade managed to bluff the party's way in by convincing them that they were graveyard inspectors. (a 37 on the bluff check). They made their way in. They knew that their mission was to gather intel, but the Hexblade asked one too many stupid questions. The Commander of the Stronghold was already on edge and he figured that they were from neighboring church, checking in on him, which made him even more mad. The questions were enough and he ordered them thrown out of the Stronghold. That is when they jumped out the window, opened a metal grate, and made their escape. They were curious as to why they weren't being followed. Then they learned. They had jumped down a sewer system and the Commander had just ordered the garbage and contents of the outhouses emptied. That made them quite mad.

As for my second party, it's much easier to mess with their mind. They're pretty inexperienced and easier to work with. It's an endless dungeon campaign, so it's prone to the occasion mind fcuk. After trapping them in the Hypercube (Thanks SolkaTruesilver), they learned that one of their allies, Dencero (A Chaotic Evil Necromancer, named after yours truly) was not with them. They ventured in and slowly learned that things were not what they seemed to be. They were even more confused when they met a much younger version of Dencero, trapped in the Hypercube, just like them. Unlike the Dencero they knew, this one was bright and chipper. And not covered with ritualistic scars. I might have scarred the newest player when after encountering a Xenotheurigist, lost her lunch, only discover a humanoid eye sitting in the middle of the vomit, starring up at her.

Drakevarg
2010-05-30, 03:23 PM
Not sure if this was evil or their own damn fault for being mind-bogglingly stupid, but I once caused a TPK on a 1st-Level party using a bear.

The party was searching some caves for an evil druid, when the party's druid found a sleeping bear. His instant reaction? "I have my wolf attack it."

Bear wakes up, kills the wolf in about two hits. The druid plugs two arrows into its chest, which actually kicks it down to about half HP, but I simply describe the bear as "very pissed off", so he bolts. The bear follows him through the cave and the druid takes cover behind the party's fighter, who had thus far proven himself to be a badass by criting pretty much everything he'd ever attacked.

The bear kills him in one swat. Druid is killed with the next attack. Rest of the party was a DMPC of mine and a barbarian that hadn't even been introduced yet (he was sleeping elsewhere in the cave). The DMPC at least had enough sense to scramble up the rope they had come down on, but since he's a DMPC he doesn't count.

Another time, I had a particularly ruthless group of Paladins attack and kill the cleric while he was out on his own.

The cleric was in the service of the local necromancer cult, the White Hand. The Paladins had come into town to purge the place of this cult. The cleric elected to investigate the temple that they had been using as a headquarters.

There were two Paladins standing guard outside the temple, spamming Detect Evil. To mock them, the cleric decided to stand just inside their range. When he rang up evil, they came out to arrest and interrogate him. The cleric resisted and they decided to go straight for the "smite the crap out of him" option, calling for their buddies inside the temple as they did so.

To the cleric's advantage, he was also a member of the City Guard (just to pay the bills, really) and a few nearby guards on patrol rushed to his aid. Long story short, the cleric is offed and the Paladins are run out of town by the City Guard.

Probably less evil, since to reward him for his service the White Hand has him resurrected as a mummy. Loses his spellcasting, but he's now considerably tougher than the party's fighter.

In the same campaign I was much less friendly to the Sorcerer, the player of whom was originally playing a Druid and got bored with it halfway through the campaign. So he rolled a Sorcerer. Unfortunately, I couldn't think of any legitimate ways to get the sorcerer to join the party, so I had his first quest be to go snatch a MacGuffin from the crypt that was serving as the entrance to the White Hand's headquarters.

Waiting for him inside was a 11th-level Vampire Cleric. One-shots him, and brings him back as a Vampire Spawn. Player was pissed, but I honestly couldn't think of any other way to get him with the party at the time.

Greenish
2010-05-30, 03:30 PM
Dencero (A Chaotic Evil Necromancer, named after yours truly)I see what you did there.

Octopus Jack
2010-05-30, 03:45 PM
Not sure if this was me being evil but I always feel bad after killing off a character even if unintentionally.
The theme of this dungeon was "smoke and mirrors" they had just come from a floor where the actual floors were invisible. At this point in time they had come to a room where the door had locked behind them and the room behind them had filled up with oil. In the room infront of them was an angry horde of about 40 zombies, but only 6 were real. They were prepared for a last stand in the corridor they were in as the real zombies broke down the door. After dramatically killing the real zombies and discovering the illusionary ones the party barbarian grabs the cleric's sheild and declares he will bullrush through them to see if there are any real ones left. I gave him a low DC spot will and reflex save to stop himself from falling through an illusionary floor to his death, he failed all of them and promptly fell to his death.

Then of course there is the owlbear incident...

Amphetryon
2010-05-30, 03:52 PM
2E D&D: My 1st level players missed the trap on the door and opened it, to find an illusion of a Huge Ancient Red Dragon in the room. None of them said 'I disbelieve!' The dragon made a huge show of inhaling in preparation for its breath weapon, and all the PCs fled madly.

Could have been much more evil, but I still giggle about it.

nolispe
2010-05-30, 04:09 PM
In my RL group some time ago, one person almost always DM'ed. And so, eventually it was deicided to let one other person have a go.
DM: You are on a path, leading into a cavern.
Us: Well, since we are all injured from the last fight, we walk away from the cavern and try to find a place to rest.
DM: A rabbit appears and gestures at so, directing you into the cavern.
Us: But we are out of spells and injured. We rest.
DM: No! The rabbit mind controls you. You walk into the cavern.
Us: Don't we get a will save?
DM: Yeah, sure.
Us: (Some rolling, with one person getting a natural 20) Look a natural twenty! Right, I run over and grab the rabbit...
DM: No, 20 still fails.
Us: ... Natural 20's always succeed. (Shows him the line in the book)
DM: Ummm... The rabbit mind controls you again untill you all fail.
Us. ...
DM: Now you walk into the cavern. The rabbit vanishes. Now... Umm... You get teleported to a house! There are zombies outside! They break in!
Cleric: Right, I turn undead!
DM: What? You do what? (Looks up turn undead) No. No way. You die.
Cleric: Do I get a save?
DM: No.
Fighter: Fine, I attack a zombie. That's a 21 for attack and... 22 for damage.
DM: Good, one of them dies.
Wizard 1: Umm... I cast Haste on us?
DM: What does that do? (Looks up haste) No. That's stupid. I am now going to houserule that haste makes you age by ten years per round that you use it.
Wizard: Right then I don't use it. Instead, I think I will cast fireball.
DM: No. You cast it. You all age by ten years.
Druid: Well, i'm dead then. I cast Summon natures ally Something And I summon a...
DM: What, you can't summon. That's not fair. You die.
Druid: ...
Wizard 2: Right, since I seem to be dead anyway, I kill myself with my dagger.
DM: Hey, that not how it works. The rabbit appears again and mind controlls you into attacking the zombies instead. You got a four, so... You miss.
Wizard 1: I cast fireball at the zombies!
DM: NO! That would kill like ten, and that would be boring! You die!
Everyone else: ...
Needless to say, that DM was removed by a unanimous vote directly afterwards.

KillianHawkeye
2010-05-30, 04:10 PM
Man, that's some serious Necromancy, Dencero!

Drakevarg
2010-05-30, 04:13 PM
In my RL group some time ago, one person almost always DM'ed. And so, eventually it was deicided to let one other person have a go.
DM: You are on a path, leading into a cavern.
Us: Well, since we are all injured from the last fight, we walk away from the cavern and try to find a place to rest.
DM: A rabbit appears and gestures at so, directing you into the cavern.
Us: But we are out of spells and injured. We rest.
DM: No! The rabbit mind controls you. You walk into the cavern.
Us: Don't we get a will save?
DM: Yeah, sure.
Us: (Some rolling, with one person getting a natural 20) Look a natural twenty! Right, I run over and grab the rabbit...
DM: No, 20 still fails.
Us: ... Natural 20's always succeed. (Shows him the line in the book)
DM: Ummm... The rabbit mind controls you again untill you all fail.
Us. ...
DM: Now you walk into the cavern. The rabbit vanishes. Now... Umm... You get teleported to a house! There are zombies outside! They break in!
Cleric: Right, I turn undead!
DM: What? You do what? (Looks up turn undead) No. No way. You die.
Cleric: Do I get a save?
DM: No.
Fighter: Fine, I attack a zombie. That's a 21 for attack and... 22 for damage.
DM: Good, one of them dies.
Wizard 1: Umm... I cast Haste on us?
DM: What does that do? (Looks up haste) No. That's stupid. I am now going to houserule that haste makes you age by ten years per round that you use it.
Wizard: Right then I don't use it. Instead, I think I will cast fireball.
DM: No. You cast it. You all age by ten years.
Druid: Well, i'm dead then. I cast Summon natures ally Something And I summon a...
DM: What, you can't summon. That's not fair. You die.
Druid: ...
Wizard 2: Right, since I seem to be dead anyway, I kill myself with my dagger.
DM: Hey, that not how it works. The rabbit appears again and mind controlls you into attacking the zombies instead. You got a four, so... You miss.
Wizard 1: I cast fireball at the zombies!
DM: NO! That would kill like ten, and that would be boring! You die!
Everyone else: ...
Needless to say, that DM was removed by a unanimous vote directly afterwards.

That's not evil, that's just an incompetent DM.

Roland St. Jude
2010-05-30, 06:12 PM
Sheriff of Moddingham: Thread Necromancy.