The Queen of Cold, Ice, and Snow

[Ardyina]

I need help setting up the description below as the queen of cold, ice, and snow.

I think she wields Kachar, +3 icy burst vorpal speed cold iron greatsword

I would like her to have if possible the following abilities.
Icewalking (Ex): This ability works like the spider climb spell, but the surfaces the Ardyina climbs must be icy. Ardyina can move normally on any icy surface.
Mistress of Cold: Any cold spell or spell-like ability she casts is under the effect of the piercing cold feat. Any cold-based weapon or item she wields is also under this effect as well.
Snowsight (Ex): Ardyina can see in the snow as per the Snowsight spell
Snow Walk (Ex): Ardyina can walk on top of snow as per the Snow Walk spell.

A statuesque woman walks in, moving with both surety and seduction. She stands six feet, two inches tall. There is something sexy about the way she carries herself, a hidden power to her movements, but covered by a demure facade. She has a delicate physique with snow-white skin that is icy to the touch. Her hair is white, and reaches down past her waist, styled with segmented bangs that frame her face, and is tied into a low ponytail. Her face has a forehead and jaw line that is narrow with wide high cheekbones. In both pointed ears she wears a large silver icicle-shaped earring. Her gentle curved white brows with an unpronounced arch lead to her nose that points upwards and thick lashes that bat sweetly over her eyes that are like shards of blue ice that seem to see exactly who a person she looks at really is. Her crimson full lips deceive her authority. She wears a white A-line deep V-neck backless floor length gown. On her right hand’s index finger she wears a blue diamond ring and her ring finger she wears a heart-shaped blue diamond ring. A soft womanly belly with a silver icicle navel ring topped by medium sized breast. In her hands she holds a two-handed sword as if it were an extension of herself. The sword’s blade resembles an icicle.

[Crake]

As an ameteur writer, some tips for describing characters: Don't get oddly specific with your descriptions. "stands 6 feet 2 inches" is way to specific, the number of people who can gauge someone's height to the inch just by looking at them is very small, and stating numbers like that kills the flow of the description. Likewise, describing her facial bone structure is also a mood killer. Use words to describe the emotions her face instills, not the geometric structure of her face, people will fill in those details in their minds.

Based on the feel of how you want to describe her, sexy is a bit too... sharp a word to use. Perhaps instead "there is something alluring about the way she carries herself" instead? and perhaps instead of "a hidden power in her movements, covered by a demure facade" instead "an overwhelming power hidden in her graceful movements." as she hardly sounds demure.

Her skin being icy to the touch should be something you describe if/when she actually touches someone, as that is not something you can determine with your eyes.

The sentance describing her eyes wanders around a bit, and, when spoken out aloud is a little confusing. Perhaps "Her white brows, gently curved into an unpronounced arch, lead to a dainty nose that points slightly upwards. Her thick lashes bat sweetly over her eyes that are like shards of blue ice, seeming to look into the very soul of those she gazes upon."

"Her crimson full lips decieve her authority." This sentance feels a bit disjoined and out of place. It's short, and I'm not sure what to feel about it from an audience perspective. What does it mean to decieve one's own authority? "Her crimson full lips, curved into a decievingly warm smile, delude onlookers of her hidden intentions."

The sentance describing her stomach seems to cut itself short, and the last two sentances can be merged, "as if it were an extension of herself, it's blade resembling that of an icicle."

I hope I'm not being too presumptuous as to what you were actually looking for, hope this helps you.

Edit: also just a note, her weapon is a +13 item, making it technically an epic weapon, just so you know

[Spore]

I generally dislike NSCs having quintessential abilities on items rather on themselves. At least not a weapon- She wouldn't carry around a weapon all the time. Make her spear give her spells the Piercing Cold feat AND the Rime Spell feat (Pathfinder, entangles creatures with cold damaging spells) and give her the other abilities naturally.

It's just weird to have a queen of all cold and snow to have to rely on her sword to even see something in the worst parts of her kingdom.

[Crake]

I generally dislike NSCs having quintessential abilities on items rather on themselves. At least not a weapon- She wouldn't carry around a weapon all the time. Make her spear give her spells the Piercing Cold feat AND the Rime Spell feat (Pathfinder, entangles creatures with cold damaging spells) and give her the other abilities naturally.

It's just weird to have a queen of all cold and snow to have to rely on her sword to even see something in the worst parts of her kingdom.

The post seems to imply that those abilities are inherent to the NPC herself, not the sword

[Spore]

The post seems to imply that those abilities are inherent to the NPC herself, not the sword

Ohhh.....ooooohh

http://media2.giphy.com/media/eji8sp5T7pCk8/200_s.gif

On a further note most people will imagine Elsa from Frozen if you mention royalty and ice in one sentence together. So keep that in mind.

In my opinion (as a foreign speaker) your description is hard to follow. You shouldn't go from head to toes but from overall description to details. But don't overdo it because you can't imagine how hard it is to see a person before your inner eyes from a lenghty description.

[atemu1234]

Ohhh.....ooooohh

http://media2.giphy.com/media/eji8sp5T7pCk8/200_s.gif

On a further note most people will imagine Elsa from Frozen if you mention royalty and ice in one sentence together. So keep that in mind.

In my opinion (as a foreign speaker) your description is hard to follow. You shouldn't go from head to toes but from overall description to details. But don't overdo it because you can't imagine how hard it is to see a person before your inner eyes from a lenghty description.

Yes, this is a little bit over descriptive. They're killing her, not measuring her for a coffin.

[Ardyina]

The post seems to imply that those abilities are inherent to the NPC herself, not the swordThe abilities I listed are abilities that she has herself.

I know she wants to bring eternal winter to the whole planet.

[Maglubiyet]

Are you trying to get help setting up the stats, classes and prestige classes, and items to achieve the abilities you listed?

[Ardyina]

I am seeing the creature as possibly being monster. I have thought at one point that the character might be an enhanced Frostwind Virago.

How would she go about bring about another ice age?

[Crake]

Well, to start with, what level of creature are we looking at? If you're thinking an enhanced frostwind virago (a good chassis btw) going with some racial HD gestalted class levels (a method i prefer to just slapping on more HD from class levels) you can build her as an epic spellcaster, at which point she could use an epic spell to achieve a global ice age?

Perhaps the spell requires she sacrifice all her spellcasting during it's casting process, (say, a week long ritual that must be performed on midwinter every year for a few years) so statistically she's just a regular frostwing virago thanks to having put all her spellcasting ability into the epic spell. That would make her more managable for your players (since pre-epic characters could never take out an epic spellcaster played properly). As the ritual progresses, temperatures around the world drop, and creatures from the north begin to descend south, travelling with the ever creeping ice cap.

As a CR 16 monster, she would make a good boss fight for a level 12-13 party, though they would need to be very careful in their fight, plan it very well in advance and make sure they have the advantage, because some of her abilities spell instant party wipe if they play it badly (i'm looking at you mind freeze aura).

[Ardyina]

Well, to start with, what level of creature are we looking at? If you're thinking an enhanced frostwind virago (a good chassis btw) going with some racial HD gestalted class levels (a method i prefer to just slapping on more HD from class levels) you can build her as an epic spellcaster, at which point she could use an epic spell to achieve a global ice age?

Perhaps the spell requires she sacrifice all her spellcasting during it's casting process, (say, a week long ritual that must be performed on midwinter every year for a few years) so statistically she's just a regular frostwing virago thanks to having put all her spellcasting ability into the epic spell. That would make her more managable for your players (since pre-epic characters could never take out an epic spellcaster played properly). As the ritual progresses, temperatures around the world drop, and creatures from the north begin to descend south, travelling with the ever creeping ice cap.

As a CR 16 monster, she would make a good boss fight for a level 12-13 party, though they would need to be very careful in their fight, plan it very well in advance and make sure they have the advantage, because some of her abilities spell instant party wipe if they play it badly (i'm looking at you mind freeze aura).I am thinking that the party might need to be 16th level or higher to fight her.

I do like the the spell involved being an epic spell if it needs to be. I really like the idea that the spell must be cast on winter solstice and the spell takes at last a day to cast if need be. I also like would if possible for the spell to make temperatures around the world drop, and creatures from the north begin to descend south, travelling with the ever creeping ice cap.

[Studoku]

On a further note most people will imagine Elsa from Frozen if you mention royalty and ice in one sentence together. So keep that in mind.
And once they do think she's Elsa, they won't let it go.

[atemu1234]

And once they do think she's Elsa, they won't let it go.

Well, the cold never bothered me anyway :smalltongue:.

[Ruethgar]

It could be an incantation mimicking a modified Fimblwinter instead of an epic spell, mechanically very similar, but an epic spellcaster would not have to worry about non-epic threats if they were paranoid enough even if their casting was suspended for a week.

[Zweisteine]

I agree with Crake, particularly on two counts:

First, the last sentence is very awkwardly cut off. It doesn't fit much at all, and leaves no description for the sword, after an incredibly detailed description of its wielder.

Second, the real reason I'm commenting...

Her crimson full lips decieve her authority.
This sentence is wrong on two levels. "Her full, crimson lips..." is much better grammatically, first of all. Second, the sentence itself has no meaning "deceive her authority?" What's that supposed to mean?
(Also, you misspelled "deceive.")


Here's my suggestion:

Don't describe everything. Even done well, it can lessen the impact of your words. If you just give a vague description with the most important points, the listeners' minds will fill in the detail, giving it greater meaning to them.

If you just describe her as "beautiful," the players will envision exactly that, no matter their personal concepts of beauty. Filling in so many details forces the listeners to see the exact same image of beauty that you see, which they may not view as beautiful at all.

And some details you can save for later. Mention how gracefully she moves when she walks; say how her snow-white hair flows as she turns her head. Building an image over time can be powerful (though don't spread it too far, or you could confuse the listener who already solidified their image of her).

Rather than describing her bone structure, say she has an angular face.

[TrollCapAmerica]

I'm not surprised by the Elsa references but I am surprised by the lack of Ice King/Queen references

[KillingAScarab]

It could be an incantation mimicking a modified Fimblwinter instead of an epic spell, mechanically very similar, but an epic spellcaster would not have to worry about non-epic threats if they were paranoid enough even if their casting was suspended for a week.I was also going to suggest using incantation rules (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/variant/magic/incantations.htm) rather than epic spellcasting. I'm not too familiar with either, but even if an epic spellcaster had lost their spellcasting ability temporarily, wouldn't the caster also have epic level magic items? That doesn't seem like it would fit a non-epic encounter.

I'm not sure how best to build the incantation, but there's a sample incantation which only works during the winter solstice, so there is precedent within those rules for limiting when your ice age device can work.

[Crake]

I was also going to suggest using incantation rules (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/variant/magic/incantations.htm) rather than epic spellcasting. I'm not too familiar with either, but even if an epic spellcaster had lost their spellcasting ability temporarily, wouldn't the caster also have epic level magic items? That doesn't seem like it would fit a non-epic encounter.

I'm not sure how best to build the incantation, but there's a sample incantation which only works during the winter solstice, so there is precedent within those rules for limiting when your ice age device can work.

That depends on the magical scarcity of epic level magic items. If the caster has no epic crafting feats, then unless there's a society of epic magic item crafters out there. Besides, technically, as I stated earlier, the sword she has is an epic sword anyway, having a total of +13 enhancement on it, but a sword is hardly going to be overpowering to adventurers, think of it more like an artifact.

[atemu1234]

That depends on the magical scarcity of epic level magic items. If the caster has no epic crafting feats, then unless there's a society of epic magic item crafters out there. Besides, technically, as I stated earlier, the sword she has is an epic sword anyway, having a total of +13 enhancement on it, but a sword is hardly going to be overpowering to adventurers, think of it more like an artifact.

I think it would still be more balanced as a +1 Icy Blast Sword or something, even then.

[Crake]

I think it would still be more balanced as a +1 Icy Blast Sword or something, even then.

Probably, but how good will the players feel, getting something so powerful as a reward. Worst case scenario, they sell it and shower themselves in riches

Or alternatively, drop vorpal, that'd make it a +8 weapon, and really it shouldn't be a cold iron weapon, since it's supposed to look like an icicle, plus cold iron is the bane of fey, which she almost certainly would be. Blue ice would be my vote

So a Blue Ice +3 Icy Burst, Speed Greatsword

[Ardyina]

Making the sword out of Blue Ice is more inline with her and the cold, ice, and snow.

I know that what every she is she is going to be a fey. Should I make her an unique fey, her own fey type, or make her a Frostwind Virago? I would like her to have a speed of 40 ft. (8 squares), fly 60 ft. (perfect) if she is not a Frostwind Virago.

[danzibr]

The thread title made me think of Elsa.

Then I started reading it, reminded me of the ice queen in King's Quest IV (I think it was IV).

Anyway, here's a wild idea: she makes her weapon out of ice. Kind of like a Mindblade.

[Ardyina]

The thread title made me think of Elsa.

Then I started reading it, reminded me of the ice queen in King's Quest IV (I think it was IV).

Anyway, here's a wild idea: she makes her weapon out of ice. Kind of like a Mindblade.

It made me think of the Stalhrim Greatsword from Skyrim

http://img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130304001434/elderscrolls/images/3/30/StalhrimGS.png