Email ettiquette?

[noparlpf]

Dear
To whom it may
Hello,

Ugh, how do you even write the greeting line in an email? Is it appropriate to write the person's name with no "Dear"? If it's a potential employer whom you've met in person and they introduced themself by their given name, do you still write "Mr/Ms/Dr Surname"? Do you use a colon or a comma? And what the heck goes in the subject line?

Thanks,
Sincerely,
Thank you very much,

--
Jude P.

[Flickerdart]

Never write "to whom it may concern" because it shows you're basically cold-calling. I've never used a last name in the greeting. You definitely use a comma after it.

The subject goes in the subject line. Writing a good subject is like writing a good headline - hard. Just don't make it clickbait.

[Aedilred]

Dear
To whom it may
Hello,

Ugh, how do you even write the greeting line in an email? Is it appropriate to write the person's name with no "Dear"? If it's a potential employer whom you've met in person and they introduced themself by their given name, do you still write "Mr/Ms/Dr Surname"? Do you use a colon or a comma? And what the heck goes in the subject line?

Thanks,
Sincerely,
Thank you very much,

--
Jude P.

Convention now seems to be "Hi x" except sometimes on the first email contact in a more formal context where "Dear x" is seen. First names are almost universal where known although I would tend towards the "Mr/etc. x" if emailing someone completely out of the blue (and of course if the person in question is an authority figure who would normally be addressed by surname). "Hello x" is rare but I have seen it. A comma would be correct, but an absence of punctuation is widespread. Colons are not.

I'm not an enormous fan of that system but it's the way it seems to be. I usually start formally and then follow my correspondent's lead, but I tend towards the formal in general.

Standard sign-offs are usually "Regards" or "Kind regards" . "(Yours) Sincerely" is used but is very rare and I only tend to see it from people apparently more used to writing letters.

As Flickerdart says, the subject goes in the subject. Of course it is tricky if there is no obvious subject, but that's the way things are.

[Galen]

Dear
To whom it may
Hello,

Ugh, how do you even write the greeting line in an email? Is it appropriate to write the person's name with no "Dear"? If it's a potential employer whom you've met in person and they introduced themself by their given name, do you still write "Mr/Ms/Dr Surname"? Do you use a colon or a comma? And what the heck goes in the subject line?

Thanks,
Sincerely,
Thank you very much,

--
Jude P.If the person doesn't know you, it's safer to skip the "dear". Start with the person's last name ("Mr. Hanson", not "Peter"), introduce yourself briefly, and get to the reason why you're writing them as soon as possible. Basically, imagine the guy is reading the email, thinking "what's in it for me? why should I not just delete this email from a person I don't know?"

If you're previously interacted with them and they introduced themselves by name, it's safe to start with "Hello Peter". If you feel that person is on the conservative side, you may still want to stick to "Mr. Hanson" the first time.

Ending with


Sincerely,
<your name>

is the safest. If you need the person to respond, you may want to try and spur them into action by


Hope to hear from you soon,
<your name>

Although some may find it pushy.

[Madcrafter]

Colons are not.Why do you say this? As far as I know, emails generally follow letter conventions, where a colon is the more formal punctuation mark to end an address.


Generally I start with "Hi X", or "Hello X," if it's a first email. Most people sign by first name only I find (unless they use a prefab signature), so after they do I'll drop to their first name only, or if it's a fast chain just omit greetings entirely during that exchange.

To sign, I almost always use "Thanks," or some longer line relating to the content of the email (eg. "Let me know if X,"). I probably would only use Sincerely if it was a letter that invited absolutely no response, or too formal for a Thanks.

[Anarion]

Dear is technically never wrong as an opener, but it can come across as cold or overly formal if you're actually friendly with a person. Hi or hello are pretty neutral these days, but don't use them if you're emailing someone superior to you or someone for the first time. Never open an email with "hey" unless you're already really good friends with the person. If you're delivering bad news, don't even use "hey" with a friend because it can seem very dismissive.

Endings are more flexible. I hate using thanks if the person isn't actually doing anything for you, such as in FYI emails. Sincerely is good for strangers, as is yours truly. Best or cheers are fine for more standard emails or acquaintances, best wishes if somebody is sick or leaving, best regards if you want to be more formal with someone you know.

Thanks in advance is polarizing. Some people love it, some people think it makes you a jerk. The more you're in a position to actually tell somebody what to do, the easier and more sensible it is to make demanding statements like thanks in advance or looking forward to hearing from you soon. Basically, figure if the person you're emailing is definitely going to do what you're asking, you can go ahead and be nice about them doing you a favor early. If they have discretion to make a decision, then thanking them for helping is presumptuous and you shouldn't do it.

[Haruki-kun]

If the person doesn't know you, it's safer to skip the "dear".

I disagree. "Dear" is a commonly accepted opener for a letter. In fact, I think I feel safer starting with "dear" for a person I don't know than without it.

[Anarion]

I disagree. "Dear" is a commonly accepted opener for a letter. In fact, I think I feel safer starting with "dear" for a person I don't know than without it.

I agree with this.

Also, the one that kills me is trying to peg gender for people you're supposed to address by last name but have not met before. If you ever get an email from me that starts as Dear [first name] [last name], it probably means I have no clue of the gender of the person that I'm addressing.

[Galen]

I disagree. "Dear" is a commonly accepted opener for a letter. In fact, I think I feel safer starting with "dear" for a person I don't know than without it.
YMMV, but I honestly can't remember when was the last time I received an email starting with "Dear" that was actually written by a human being (auto-templated script-produced messages from business entities don't count).

Sure, the letter can still contain important information (if it's from a bank or something like that), but when I see "Dear", I just intuitively know it's not a person-to-person interaction.

[Aedilred]

Why do you say this? As far as I know, emails generally follow letter conventions, where a colon is the more formal punctuation mark to end an address.

I've never seen one in an email (in the address, at least). If they are widespread, it's in circles that don't overlap with mine at all.

[Ebon_Drake]

For work e-mails, my rule of thumb is to judge it by the e-mail address. If it's [email protected], I'll tend to go for "Hi Dave", but if it's [email protected] I'll go for "Dear Mr Smith" instead. I'll also judge it by the position of who I'm sending it to: if I'm dealing with financial advisers, solicitors and customers I'll go for "Dear Mr/Ms" whereas if it's just the admin staff or an internal e-mail I'll go for "Hi (first name)".

Once I've got to know someone, I'll generally switch to "Hi (first name)" unless it's a complaint situation or I'm trying to sound important. I generally avoid saying "Hi Mr/Ms x" since I think that sounds awkward, except when I'm e-mailing customers as my job generally involves older (55+) people and I figure they generally prefer more formality.

For sign-off, I'll generally go for either many thanks or (best) regards as the mood takes me. I don't put much thought into that.

[Anarion]

Oh, one exception. If I ever am emailing with someone whose last name is Anderson, I'll always go with Mr. Anderson. :smallbiggrin:

[Juggling Goth]

I tend to use whatever term of address they've used for themselves, or the format they've used for me. If they've said "Hi Juggling, it's Hypothetical Person here", I'll generally respond "Hi Hypothetical". If they've said "Dear Ms Goth" they get "Dear Mr/Ms Person" back.

For work-based stuff, if I'm initiating contact, I've generally found a "Dear Firstname" or "Dear Title Lastname" reasonably safe (bit of a judgement call there which to use). I tend to finish with "Thanks and regards". I find the "regards"/"kind regards"/"kindest regards" escalation baffling and try to avoid it at all costs. I figure I can always de-escalate formality, but I don't want to be all "Hi Dave!" and then find out that I've emailed the stuffiest oldest-school academic who ever did stuff who regards anything short of Dear Professor as a deadly insult.

Personal peeves: I don't like emails that open with just a name and no greeting; it kind of sounds like they're barking my name across the yard in a drill sergeant/gym teacher fashion. I mean, I'm not going to get in a huff about it because I'm massively socially awkward and probably unintentionally offend people on a daily basis, but it sounds a bit abrupt, so I'm not going to use it.

And for the love of all that is good and holy, get their name right! I have a moderately-uncommon name that is very close to a much more common name. It's not the more common name, though. And when people call me by the more common name, despite me signing an email with my name and my name being contained in my email address, it a) annoys me and b) doesn't bode well for their reading comprehension.

[Crow]

I write them as I would write a normal letter. Usually I begin with a greeting, or in professional cases, the name and title of that person.

Dr. Livingston,

I hope this letter finds you well...yadda yadda yadda...



Good day to you,

I am writing on behalf of...



Hello,

My name is Crow....

[Anarion]

And for the love of all that is good and holy, get their name right! I have a moderately-uncommon name that is very close to a much more common name. It's not the more common name, though. And when people call me by the more common name, despite me signing an email with my name and my name being contained in my email address, it a) annoys me and b) doesn't bode well for their reading comprehension.

You mean you don't go for the classic?
http://40.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lsvtz33eAh1qkae66o1_1280.jpg

More seriously, I have had people tell me in person that they were annoyed at a too casual email greeting. Especially in certain industries like law, people can be really prickly about this stuff.

[Amidus Drexel]

Formal: [title] [surname],

[letter body]

Sincerely,
[Amidus Drexel]

--
Informal: [first],

[letter body]

~[Amidus]

--
Sometimes I mix it up a bit (if a different sign-off is more appropriate, for example), but that's normally how it goes. I find it's hard to insult people with "Sincerely", and I generally don't like using any of the greetings I've seen - so I don't bother with them.

[SarahV]

I'm a pretty informal person, so I usually go with "Hello [name] -" as an e-mail starter or "Hi [name]" for people I know fairly well. (Company-wide mass e-mails are often "Howdy folks" although I wouldn't really recommend that for general usage :smallbiggrin:) I wouldn't worry too much unless it's something like applying for a job where you're desperate not to screw up a single detail, or someone extremely intimidating/important where you want to show great respect. The vast majority of people won't care. Sometimes if I'm really unsure what to call them (First name? Mr.? Officer? etc), I just start with "Hello," and go right into the e-mail. It's not like they don't know who you're talking to...

The one rule I do adhere to in business communication is don't use a smiley unless they use one first.

I did get a little sniffy when I put out a job ad, with my name in it (send applications to Sarah Vlastname, etc.) and I got a ton of "To Whom It May Concern" "Dear Hiring Director" and, worst of all, "Dear Sir." It's more important to pay attention and be accurate when addressing someone than worrying about "hello" versus "hi."

Which brings us to...


And for the love of all that is good and holy, get their name right! I have a moderately-uncommon name that is very close to a much more common name. It's not the more common name, though. And when people call me by the more common name, despite me signing an email with my name and my name being contained in my email address, it a) annoys me and b) doesn't bode well for their reading comprehension.

I have one of the most common female names around, and people still spell it wrong very frequently. Sara is somewhat understandable. Sarha? Sahra? Sharah? Not so understandable, but I've seen them all.

It does particularly bug me when I get a "Sara" from someone I know (which happens a lot, even with people I've known for years) or from people replying to an e-mail from [email protected] and signed "Sarah", all of which is quoted in their e-mail message. C'mon. How hard is this?

One of my friends consistently addresses me as SaraH to make sure I notice that he's remembering my h. :smalltongue:

[Aedilred]

I have one of the most common female names around, and people still spell it wrong very frequently. Sara is somewhat understandable. Sarha? Sahra? Sharah? Not so understandable, but I've seen them all.

It does particularly bug me when I get a "Sara" from someone I know (which happens a lot, even with people I've known for years) or from people replying to an e-mail from [email protected] and signed "Sarah", all of which is quoted in their e-mail message. C'mon. How hard is this?

One of my friends consistently addresses me as SaraH to make sure I notice that he's remembering my h. :smalltongue:

At an old job I took over from a girl who'd only been in place a few days and since I was a temp hired on short notice and it would take me a while to get me set up they just gave me access to her accounts so I could pick up where I left off. It was common for me to call someone, follow up with an email signed off with my name, and get replies addressed to "Katie" since that was the name in the address field.

I have a very common name which, in its conventional shortened form (which I tend to use) is only one letter different from another very - though less - common name. The number of replies I get addressed to that name and not mine is quite eye-opening. Especially since they don't sound the same and often, again, these are people I've spoken to on the phone and told my actual name.

You'd have thought it would be common sense to check the signature, but it seems people are remarkable idiots about that sort of thing.

[Juggling Goth]

I'm a pretty informal person, so I usually go with "Hello [name] -" as an e-mail starter or "Hi [name]" for people I know fairly well. (Company-wide mass e-mails are often "Howdy folks" although I wouldn't really recommend that for general usage :smallbiggrin:) I wouldn't worry too much unless it's something like applying for a job where you're desperate not to screw up a single detail, or someone extremely intimidating/important where you want to show great respect. The vast majority of people won't care. Sometimes if I'm really unsure what to call them (First name? Mr.? Officer? etc), I just start with "Hello," and go right into the e-mail. It's not like they don't know who you're talking to...

The one rule I do adhere to in business communication is don't use a smiley unless they use one first.

I did get a little sniffy when I put out a job ad, with my name in it (send applications to Sarah Vlastname, etc.) and I got a ton of "To Whom It May Concern" "Dear Hiring Director" and, worst of all, "Dear Sir." It's more important to pay attention and be accurate when addressing someone than worrying about "hello" versus "hi."

Which brings us to...



I have one of the most common female names around, and people still spell it wrong very frequently. Sara is somewhat understandable. Sarha? Sahra? Sharah? Not so understandable, but I've seen them all.

It does particularly bug me when I get a "Sara" from someone I know (which happens a lot, even with people I've known for years) or from people replying to an e-mail from [email protected] and signed "Sarah", all of which is quoted in their e-mail message. C'mon. How hard is this?

One of my friends consistently addresses me as SaraH to make sure I notice that he's remembering my h. :smalltongue:

Heh, my parents didn't want to call me Sarah because there were so many other little girls called Sarah the year I was born. Then they couldn't think of anything. Then the deadline was fast approaching. Then they panicked and named me after the midwife. Which is how I got the name that never, ever shows up on personalised pens and teddy bears, and means I've been called by literally every two-syllable female name beginning with L except the one I've actually got.

But yeah, I have also got emails addressed to "Sir" or "Mr Lastname"* (my name is moderately-obscure, but it's definitely female). Also to the woman who did this job before I did, and to the woman who escalates queries to me. And I'm like... it's right there. My name is in the 'from' field and at the bottom of the email. C'mon, people.

That will annoy me much, much more than what greeting/closer people use.

* Granted, sometimes you genuinely can't tell, and that's a bit of a minefield. I'm semi-often sending emails to international students, which can be difficult, because I'm not familiar with the common names in that particular area. Names from some countries can confuse you further by having the given and family name outside the order you're expecting, or having more or fewer names than you're expecting (I've had international students refer to me purely by my surname in otherwise friendly and informal emails, presumably because they fell into this trap themselves). In these cases, I would say 1) Google it and 2) if in doubt, just address them by their full name in the format it was presented to you, and avoid gendered honorifics or shortening it at all. You might come across as a bit stilted but that's generally better than calling someone by the wrong thing. If the name in their signature doesn't match the name in the email, I'd use the name in the signature, as the one in the email has probably been mangled a bit to fit a format it's not quite made for, whereas the one in the signature is the one they've actively typed in themselves.

[Brother Oni]

I tend to be a bit old fashioned, so I use normal letter writing conventions, particularly for formal letters with people I don't know very well:

Dear sir/madam for essentially cold calling type of letters where I don't know anybody (eg contacting customer services), otherwise Dear Mr/Mrs/Ms [Last Name] or Dear [First Name], depending on how they've introduced themselves and the nature of the contact.
For work colleagues, it's usually Hello [Full First Name] as I usually know them to some degree, but I prefer to keep a bit of formality.

For endings, it's Yours Sincerely if I'm not expecting a reply and I don't have a name, Yours Faithfully if I am or I know the person's name.


For informal emails with people I know well, I don't bother with any of the above and usually add an insult or two.

[Aedilred]

For endings, it's Yours Sincerely if I'm not expecting a reply and I don't have a name, Yours Faithfully if I am or I know the person's name.


If you're following letter convention, surely it should be the other way round?

[McStabbington]

The basic rule is to follow letter-writing format. That being said, remember that e-mail is a heck of a lot more informal than a letter, and the point is usually far more perfunctory as well. The shorter the message, the less time you are expected to spend on your introduction and salutation.

Shorter is also usually considered more polite as well; remember that for things like work e-mails, I may read 10-20 e-mails a day. The less time I need to spend on any individual one, the more productive you've made me.

[Brother Oni]

If you're following letter convention, surely it should be the other way round?

I was told it was the other way round. :smallconfused:

Huh. On some checking, it appears that I was wrong. Thanks for pointing that out. :smallbiggrin:

[Corneel]

If you're working in an international environment, it's wise to consider the nationality of the addressee. I've noticed that people from English speaking countries (Brits, Irish, USsies and Aussies) are very quick to use first names (if not on first contact, than almost certainly on second contact), something which I've had to learn to adjust to.

This is often not the case with people from other countries (even when communicating in English), and most often not for people from French speaking countries (rule of thumb: if you're not comfortable getting drunk with the person, don't use their first name). Germans are known to take pride in their titles and so you better use them. On the other hand the Dutch tend to be a lot less informal and follow more the customs of the English speaking world (but the same is not necessarily true of the Dutch speaking Flemish to whom I belong).

And in my experience (over a decade working on the continent) African people are very much sticklers for formality, especially in former French colonies and respect for your elders and "betters" remains very much a thing.

Another thing: in my experience, few people use "Yours sincerely/faithfully" in e-mail communication, (Kind/Best) Regards, is what's used most often.

As for name confusion anecdotes, my first name is a very male name in Dutch and English but looks and sounds like a female name in French, so the times I've received e-mails address to Madame <mylastname> I can't count.

[Iruka]

The e-mails I receive in a professional context are usually signed-off with "Best regards" or "Kind regards".

[nyjastul69]

This has been an interesting read. I have always used Dear[insert full name if know] as a salutation. I've always used Sincerely [insert same here] as a valediction when the person is not known to me personally.

When they are know to me, I use whatever manner of speech I would normally use. Hey, or hey dude, being the most common.

[banjo1985]

So are we saying that starting all of my emails with "Yo dawg!" might not be the best idea?

[Flickerdart]

This has been an interesting read. I have always used Dear[insert full name if know] as a salutation. I've always used Sincerely [insert same here] as a valediction when the person is not known to me personally.
Damn man, even my bank doesn't call me by my full name.

[Iruka]

Damn man, even my bank doesn't call me by my full name.

Cultural differences are weird.:smallbiggrin:
Calling someone by first name in Germany, without being invited to do so, would be highly inappropriate in most contexts.

ETA: For adults, that is.

[Flickerdart]

Cultural differences are weird.:smallbiggrin:
Calling someone by first name in Germany, without being invited to do so, would be highly inappropriate in most contexts.

ETA: For adults, that is.
In Russia, that's what we have patronymics for.

Well, that and confusing foreigners.

Well, that and being able to get a good username when firstname.lastname is already taken.

So many uses.

[huttj509]

Damn man, even my bank doesn't call me by my full name.

Neither does mine, and it irks me.

I waited 25 years to be "Mr. Adams," and now I'm never "Mr. Adams" because everyone does the faux familiar friendly thing.

[Elenna]

Interesting thread - I always thought starting with "Dear x" was more informal/familiar. Never mind, then.

Another question, what if someone has an androgynous first name, or you only have their email address and it's something like [email protected]?

[Brother Oni]

Another question, what if someone has an androgynous first name, or you only have their email address and it's something like [email protected]?

Unless you're willing to do some stalkingresearch, I suggest doing the same as a cold calling letter, ie 'Dear sir/madam' or 'To whom it may concern'.

[Flickerdart]

I've seen M. used as a gender-neutral option for a title, but never in email.

[danzibr]

In my professional interactions, I begin with

Dear <last name with title>,

And end with

Best regards,
Me

[Jeff the Green]

I've seen M. used as a gender-neutral option for a title, but never in email.

It's really not supposed to be. It's short for "monsieur", and "Mme." ("madame") is the feminine version.

[Flickerdart]

It's really not supposed to be. It's short for "monsieur", and "Mme." ("madame") is the feminine version.
In French, sure, but nobody calls people Monsieur in English unless they are a very fancy waiter.

[Remmirath]

When replying to others' e-mails to me, I'll usually take my cue from what tone they used. If it seems formal, I'll be formal; if it doesn't, I won't. I try not to agonise about it overmuch, since it seems that it's something that is unlikely to offend somebody so gravely that they will never again speak to me.

I will apparently lean towards the formal when left to my own devices, however. Or at least, semi-formal. I have about three levels of formality that I typically use in e-mails.

Dear [name and title if applicable],
[text of e-mail]
Sincerely,
[appropriate spacing] Remmirath Lastname

Greetings,
[text of e-mail]
Regards,
[appropriate spacing] Remmirath

Hi [first name],
[text of e-mail]
[appropriate spacing] - Remmirath

The last is used only if I already know the person or if I am responding to an e-mail that was already informal in tone.

[Bulldog Psion]

As a freelance writer who cultivates professionalism, I've found that a certain formulation seems to work okay. I have no idea, really, if it conforms to any particular form of etiquette. However, I have used it successfully for everything from "cold call" type communications to long-term clients, so ...

My initial approach and/or the approach I use if the person seems like a bit of a stuffed shirt:


Good morning/afternoon/evening, [honorific+last name if available, otherwise just "Good morning/afternoon/evening"]
I hope you're well today. [or similar]

[Message body]

Sincerely, Bulldog Psion

For long-term clients I've relaxed a bit with:


Hi/hey [first name],
How are things going for you? [or similar]

[Message body]

Best wishes [or just "Best,"] Bulldog Psion

Not sure how "correct" it is, but I still have some long-term clients and pick up enough new ones to still be in business after 6 years, so... :smallwink:

[AtlanteanTroll]

Whenever contacting employers, I use "Dear Mr/Ms X" and end with "Sincerely." Sometimes, if I'm asking something, I go with, "With sincere thanks." If, at some point, they start responding with something other than "Dear Mr. Atlantean" than I might change my formatting. It depends how far along the email chain things have progressed. As a young person, being formal looks better. That said, I'm much looser when emailing professors.

And as a counter point, "To Whom It May Concern" can be okay, in the right context. Like if you're emailing a large group, though there are several, better alternatives (https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&rlz=1C1CHFX_enUS602US602&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=to%20whom%20it%20may%20concern).

[WeaselGuy]

heh, here in the army, our emails start one of 3 ways, depending on the target audience, and all end the same.


RANK Last Name,

Body of message.

v/r
First Middle Initital Last
Rank
Unit
Section & Position
Location
Contact Information

TEAM

Body of message.

v/r
First Middle Initital Last
Rank
Unit
Section & Position
Location
Contact Information

ALCON

Body of message.

v/r
First Middle Initital Last
Rank
Unit
Section & Position
Location
Contact Information

[danzibr]

Damn man, even my bank doesn't call me by my full name.
Right, this is a little irritating. Me, I either go by Dan (in danzibr) or Dr. <my last name>. I don't like anything between the two. No Daniel, no Mr. <my last name>.

[Tvtyrant]

I tend to end my emails with Best, My Name. It seems about as neutral as you can get.

[Wardog]

I find "Dear" to be a very weird greeting, because to me it can seems either really formal, or really informal.

"Dear Mr Firstname Surname" looks very formal.

"Dear Firstname" looks like a Victorian love-letter.


I generally avoid using it, unless it is obviously supposed to be a very formal message (I which case I'll use Dear Mr [Firstname] Surname), or am replying to an email that used it.


Another other minefield that noone has mentioned yet it the Miss/Mrs/Ms title when writing to women. I suppose Ms is the most universal title, but I know some women don't like it, and if you are not replying to an emial in which they used it of themselves, you can't really tell what they would prefer.

[huttj509]

I find "Dear" to be a very weird greeting, because to me it can seems either really formal, or really informal.

"Dear Mr Firstname Surname" looks very formal.

"Dear Firstname" looks like a Victorian love-letter.


I generally avoid using it, unless it is obviously supposed to be a very formal message (I which case I'll use Dear Mr [Firstname] Surname), or am replying to an email that used it.


Another other minefield that noone has mentioned yet it the Miss/Mrs/Ms title when writing to women. I suppose Ms is the most universal title, but I know some women don't like it, and if you are not replying to an emial in which they used it of themselves, you can't really tell what they would prefer.

Never use "Miss" unless the recipient used it first.

[Jeff the Green]

Never use "Miss" unless the recipient used it first.

Or "Mrs.", really. "Ms." is generally preferred unless you know for sure "Mrs." is appropriate or they prefer "Miss".

[nyjastul69]

Damn man, even my bank doesn't call me by my full name.

I posted in a hurry and apparently left out some bits. :/ I don't use full names if I know them personally. If I don't know them, and I know their full name, I use that. I'm not sure how I posted so poorly there.

[Ifni]

On titles for women: "Ms" is pretty neutral, I think, if you don't know their marital status or preferences. For myself, "Ms" is preferred unless it's a work/academic context where they should know my correct title (which is "Dr" or "Prof") - it would bug me if someone invited me to give a plenary talk at a conference as "Ms Lastname", since they clearly know my academic qualifications and thus it should be "Dr Lastname" (although if it's another academic inviting me it's almost always just Firstname, which is also fine). I have gotten a few emails as "Mrs Lastname" (I'm single and have never been married) - I accept this when it comes from a European institution as I know that at least in French it arises from a slightly-incorrect translation*, but it would seriously annoy me if it came from an English-speaking place.

Titles are amusing. I remember for a while I wanted to get my PhD just so I could go with "Dr" all the time and avoid the whole "Mrs/Ms/Miss" issue :smallwink:

*The titles "Madame" and "Mademoiselle" translate roughly into "Mrs" and "Miss", but my understanding is that the dividing line is more about age/status and less about whether one is married - e.g. you call a professor Madame, not Mademoiselle. (Google tells me that in a flirting context, you might call a woman Mademoiselle to imply that she looks young.) Also, "Madame" seems to have become the equivalent of "Ms", in that it's what you use if you don't know whether a woman is married or not. So what's happening is that someone is drafting an email in French to me as "Madame Lastname" (because while I'm unmarried and relatively young, they're contacting me in a professional capacity and that's the respectful form of address), and then translating it into English and getting "Mrs Lastname".

[Jeff the Green]

(which is "Dr" or "Prof")

Which of these is generally preferred?

[Siosilvar]

Which of these is generally preferred?

Dr. > Professor in the US (since Prof. is used officially for just about every college/uni lecturer or researcher on tenure track and colloquially even for those who aren't). I believe Professor is a higher distinction than Dr. in other places, though.

[noparlpf]

I tend to use "Professor" if I'm currently in their class and "Doctor" if I'm not. If the teacher isn't a PhD I don't use either. (I've had two classes taught by PhD students and both said to just use their given names.)

[Ifni]

Dr. > Professor in the US (since Prof. is used officially for just about every college/uni lecturer or researcher on tenure track and colloquially even for those who aren't). I believe Professor is a higher distinction than Dr. in other places, though.

I wouldn't quite agree (it may depend on what field you're in). Prof. is a more specific title than Dr. - Dr. means "has a PhD", Prof. means "has a teaching position", in general, in the US. I'm a tenure-track assistant professor, and "Prof." is the correct title - I was "Dr." when I was a postdoctoral researcher, back before I got my current job. For someone in my position and field, "Prof." denotes a higher status than "Dr." (tenure-track positions require PhDs, and are harder to get than PhDs), and so it should be used in formal situations - for example, on grant applications it's definitely Prof. Lastname not Dr. Lastname.

But there are people who are senior without holding professorships, e.g. senior research scientists at national research labs, and I believe their appropriate title would still be "Dr." - it doesn't mean they're lower status. In general, both are respectful titles; Dr. is probably safer if you know the person has a PhD but don't know if they're a professor of any kind. Neither is likely to offend.

And yeah, in other countries there's often a higher standard to be called a "Professor" - in the US, there's a distinction between Assistant Professors, Associate Professors and full Professors, but all of them use the title Prof.

EDIT: And in terms of email etiquette: I ask undergrad students in my classes to call me Prof. Lastname, but I ask anyone who's doing research with me (including undergrads) to use my first name, and in emails with colleagues we almost always just use first names. I only insist on Prof. with students in my classes because I look about ten years younger than my real age (I'm also the only female faculty member in my subfield), and I've been told by multiple people that using titles will help reinforce the message that Yes I Am Actually A Professor. But I don't mind if they want to use "Dr." instead - as I said, both "Dr." and "Prof." are respectful, it'd be pretty unusual for someone to be insulted by either.

[Aedilred]

In the UK "Professor" indicates that you hold a department chair at a university. Only the most senior academics at any institution are Professors.

There's an amusing riff on this in one of the Tom Sharpe Porterhouse novels (Grantchester Grind, I think) when a visiting American can't get to grips with the UK (or in that case specifically, Cambridge) system and keeps calling the college Bursar "Professor Bursar" despite a couple of attempts to explain the difference, which eventually prompts a rant from the Bursar on differing academic standards.