supergoji18
2015-03-29, 08:53 AM
Yesterday I finished the first session of my first ever D&D game. I was DMing this particular game, and I think it was fantastic enough to tell everyone about it.
We were playing the Lost Mines of Phandelver since everyone was new. We all created our own characters, and there were 5 of us:
An Aasimar Paladin who is only known by the name of "Sentinel," who was saved by the god Torm in a battle against demons. Since then he has trained as a Paladin in Torm's service.
A Half-Elf Rogue who absolutely HATES dwarves and who can magically grow a beard whenever he wants.
A Dwarven Bard who managed to befriend the above Half-Elf after he kicked her in the head (long story).
A Half-Elf Druid who was raised in a Half-Elf village. Her father is Link (or his nearest Forgotten Realms equivalent not named Drizzt) and she was apparently kidnapped at an early age by some humans. She managed to escape after she... Took... Things... From the men... And was then rescued by her father.
An Elf Wizard who sadly could not make it to the first adventure, so we decided that after a night of partying hard she was passed out drunk in the wagon the whole time.
To set the mood, we decided to role play out the setup to the adventure (i.e. When Gundren Rockseeker asks the players to guard supplies). We started where all good adventures start: a tavern. It was here that I suddenly realized this wouldn't be any ordinary adventure...
The shenanigans started at a card table. None of the players were actually playing cards, but the rogue was having a side bet. He ended up breaking even, but was pissed at the guy he bet on. More on this later.
The bard was sitting in a corner playing her violin (which she was plucking, because she lost the bow). She saw the Druid at the bar drinking her sorrows away. She decided to go up to her and play a song to brighten her spirits. It went something like this:
"Hey don't be sad! You should be glad! Don't be mad! Yay!"
With his wonderfully inspiring work of art in her ears, the Druid was more than willing to become bffs.
So what was the paladin doing at this time. Well, he decided to smite some evil. He went up to someone he thought was evil. His justification: the man smelled funny (to be fair, the Divine Sense ability of Paladins basically says that they smell evil). After smashing a bottle of holy water in the man's face, it was revealed that the man was in fact just a very smelly person. Meanwhile, the actual demon in the place walked out with no one noticing...
After some time, Gundren and his bodyguard Sildar walked in. The reaction of the party? Throw holy water in his face. After Gundren calmed down, everyone was hired to escort supplies to Phandalin. Along the way everyone swapped stories, and the Druid scared everyone but the bard away with the story of how she acquired her most valued... Treasure...
Prior to leaving however, the rogue killed the man who lost the card game. He took the man's pet rock and the keys to the cardboard box the man lived in. The body was found the next day, but no one ever found out who did it...
After some time, the goblin ambush began. You'd think that the team would be more than ready for them... My goodness they were not. I was being generous just to avoid killing everyone! The Druid was dropped to only two health after ONE HIT (the goblin roled a 5 on the damage). Meanwhile, "Sentinel" stayed by the cart to guard it... And was nearly one shot by a Goblin as well (this one rolled a 6). After much running and nearly dying, and expending ALL AVAILABLE SPELL SLOTS AND HEALING, 3 goblins lay dead while one was under a charm by the Bard.
They followed the charmed goblins (which they named Gollum) to the hideout. It was decided that the bard and rogue should go in and sneak around to rescue Gundren and Sildar, while the unstealthy paladin and the Druid with no healing left wait outside. The Bard roled a natural 20 and tuned invisible... The Rogue rolled a 2...
Cue an arrow sawing of the point of one of his ears. Combat began again. The bard, still stealthy as heck, snuck up to the goblins... And missed the Attack. However, I decided that, since the bard rolled so high on his stealth role, that even though goblins see her now, they think she is just a really ugly goblins who they owe money to. Meanwhile, the Sentinel decided to run in and swing at one of the goblins. He successfully intimidated the goblin into wasting its turn crapping itself, so he went in for the kill... And rolled a natural 1. Cue him losing his sword in the bush.
The last goblin left had one health left. Sentinel, in a fit of pure awesome, punched the goblin in the back of the head... And rolled a 19. Cue the Goblin's head getting knocked off and the bard catching it. She then plucked out the goblin's eye (the other one had been shot by an arrow), and kept it as a souvenir.
Now that everyone recompose do themselves, the rogue re-rolled for stealth and got a decent score. When they encountered the room with three wolves, they immediately said to themselves "free pets!" The Druid, with a very successful Animal Handling check, calmed the wolves down enough to be willing to work with the party. So now they have 3 wolf companions.
Upon investigation of the fissure in the back, the rogue decided to climb it. He got up... And rolled 1. Cue him taking the full 6 damage. With his butt busted and broken, and no healing spells left, Sentinel decided to pray for Torm to heal the rogue. While RAW wouldn't allow this, I decided it offered a perfect opportunity for extra comedy. Torm whispered into Sentinel's ears, "shove the sword up his ass and I will grant you my healing power." He listened. Torm did in fact fully heal the rogue, but the sword left 3 damage worth of scars, and the rogue will never be able to poop comfortably again.
A successful redo of the Athletics check and a natural 20 on stealth allowed the rogue to sneak up into Klarg's lair unseen. He tied a rope to a nearby stalagmite to make it easier for everyone else to get up. The bard rolled the athletics check with advantage (I decided to give it because the rope made it easier). Now I've done the math here. There is a 1/20 chance of getting a particular number on a d20. The chance of getting two of the same numbers in a row is 1/20 * 1/20 = 1/400 or .25%. I want you to guess what number she rolled on each one. Go on guess.
That's right.
Natural 1's.
I decided to be merciful and allow for a saving throw to take only half damage. Now remember, rolling the same number twice in a row is a 1/400 chance. Rolling the same number 3 times in a row therefore has a 1/400 * 1/20 = 1/8000 or a .0125% chance of happening. Pretty low right?
Guess what she rolled.
It was decided that she would stay down and guard the wolves (or the wolves guard her more likely). With half of her hit points gone, she was not willing to come up anymore.
Somehow, the Paladin even with disadvantage on stealth checks AND an 8 in Dex managed to roll a 19 and a 20 on his stealth and climbed the rope with no issue at all. It was there that they saw it. A 4th wolf, big and beautiful. The Paladin wanted it. The Druid climbed up and, after waiting in the dark for the bugbears and goblins to leave it alone, successfully got the animal to follow the Paladin's orders. Now the paladin had a wolf, the Druid has two wolves, and the rogue and bard share joint custody of the last one.
Still stealthy and not wanting to get into combat anymore, the rogue came up with a plan that still shocks me now. He managed to successfully sneak stronger alcohol into the Bugbear's and Goblin's drinks, causing them to get stone drunk. And then... He rolled an 18... On a persuasion check... To convince the Bugbear... That he was its mother. Cue the single silliest conversation in history as the rogue commanded that the Bugbear free the captured human and load the stolen goods onto the supply cart before she counted to three or else!
The goblins were ordered to load the wagon (the wizard was still in it by the way), and Sildar was loaded on as well. The party took their wolf companions and their loot and rode off into the sunset.
And that was my first DM experience.
We were playing the Lost Mines of Phandelver since everyone was new. We all created our own characters, and there were 5 of us:
An Aasimar Paladin who is only known by the name of "Sentinel," who was saved by the god Torm in a battle against demons. Since then he has trained as a Paladin in Torm's service.
A Half-Elf Rogue who absolutely HATES dwarves and who can magically grow a beard whenever he wants.
A Dwarven Bard who managed to befriend the above Half-Elf after he kicked her in the head (long story).
A Half-Elf Druid who was raised in a Half-Elf village. Her father is Link (or his nearest Forgotten Realms equivalent not named Drizzt) and she was apparently kidnapped at an early age by some humans. She managed to escape after she... Took... Things... From the men... And was then rescued by her father.
An Elf Wizard who sadly could not make it to the first adventure, so we decided that after a night of partying hard she was passed out drunk in the wagon the whole time.
To set the mood, we decided to role play out the setup to the adventure (i.e. When Gundren Rockseeker asks the players to guard supplies). We started where all good adventures start: a tavern. It was here that I suddenly realized this wouldn't be any ordinary adventure...
The shenanigans started at a card table. None of the players were actually playing cards, but the rogue was having a side bet. He ended up breaking even, but was pissed at the guy he bet on. More on this later.
The bard was sitting in a corner playing her violin (which she was plucking, because she lost the bow). She saw the Druid at the bar drinking her sorrows away. She decided to go up to her and play a song to brighten her spirits. It went something like this:
"Hey don't be sad! You should be glad! Don't be mad! Yay!"
With his wonderfully inspiring work of art in her ears, the Druid was more than willing to become bffs.
So what was the paladin doing at this time. Well, he decided to smite some evil. He went up to someone he thought was evil. His justification: the man smelled funny (to be fair, the Divine Sense ability of Paladins basically says that they smell evil). After smashing a bottle of holy water in the man's face, it was revealed that the man was in fact just a very smelly person. Meanwhile, the actual demon in the place walked out with no one noticing...
After some time, Gundren and his bodyguard Sildar walked in. The reaction of the party? Throw holy water in his face. After Gundren calmed down, everyone was hired to escort supplies to Phandalin. Along the way everyone swapped stories, and the Druid scared everyone but the bard away with the story of how she acquired her most valued... Treasure...
Prior to leaving however, the rogue killed the man who lost the card game. He took the man's pet rock and the keys to the cardboard box the man lived in. The body was found the next day, but no one ever found out who did it...
After some time, the goblin ambush began. You'd think that the team would be more than ready for them... My goodness they were not. I was being generous just to avoid killing everyone! The Druid was dropped to only two health after ONE HIT (the goblin roled a 5 on the damage). Meanwhile, "Sentinel" stayed by the cart to guard it... And was nearly one shot by a Goblin as well (this one rolled a 6). After much running and nearly dying, and expending ALL AVAILABLE SPELL SLOTS AND HEALING, 3 goblins lay dead while one was under a charm by the Bard.
They followed the charmed goblins (which they named Gollum) to the hideout. It was decided that the bard and rogue should go in and sneak around to rescue Gundren and Sildar, while the unstealthy paladin and the Druid with no healing left wait outside. The Bard roled a natural 20 and tuned invisible... The Rogue rolled a 2...
Cue an arrow sawing of the point of one of his ears. Combat began again. The bard, still stealthy as heck, snuck up to the goblins... And missed the Attack. However, I decided that, since the bard rolled so high on his stealth role, that even though goblins see her now, they think she is just a really ugly goblins who they owe money to. Meanwhile, the Sentinel decided to run in and swing at one of the goblins. He successfully intimidated the goblin into wasting its turn crapping itself, so he went in for the kill... And rolled a natural 1. Cue him losing his sword in the bush.
The last goblin left had one health left. Sentinel, in a fit of pure awesome, punched the goblin in the back of the head... And rolled a 19. Cue the Goblin's head getting knocked off and the bard catching it. She then plucked out the goblin's eye (the other one had been shot by an arrow), and kept it as a souvenir.
Now that everyone recompose do themselves, the rogue re-rolled for stealth and got a decent score. When they encountered the room with three wolves, they immediately said to themselves "free pets!" The Druid, with a very successful Animal Handling check, calmed the wolves down enough to be willing to work with the party. So now they have 3 wolf companions.
Upon investigation of the fissure in the back, the rogue decided to climb it. He got up... And rolled 1. Cue him taking the full 6 damage. With his butt busted and broken, and no healing spells left, Sentinel decided to pray for Torm to heal the rogue. While RAW wouldn't allow this, I decided it offered a perfect opportunity for extra comedy. Torm whispered into Sentinel's ears, "shove the sword up his ass and I will grant you my healing power." He listened. Torm did in fact fully heal the rogue, but the sword left 3 damage worth of scars, and the rogue will never be able to poop comfortably again.
A successful redo of the Athletics check and a natural 20 on stealth allowed the rogue to sneak up into Klarg's lair unseen. He tied a rope to a nearby stalagmite to make it easier for everyone else to get up. The bard rolled the athletics check with advantage (I decided to give it because the rope made it easier). Now I've done the math here. There is a 1/20 chance of getting a particular number on a d20. The chance of getting two of the same numbers in a row is 1/20 * 1/20 = 1/400 or .25%. I want you to guess what number she rolled on each one. Go on guess.
That's right.
Natural 1's.
I decided to be merciful and allow for a saving throw to take only half damage. Now remember, rolling the same number twice in a row is a 1/400 chance. Rolling the same number 3 times in a row therefore has a 1/400 * 1/20 = 1/8000 or a .0125% chance of happening. Pretty low right?
Guess what she rolled.
It was decided that she would stay down and guard the wolves (or the wolves guard her more likely). With half of her hit points gone, she was not willing to come up anymore.
Somehow, the Paladin even with disadvantage on stealth checks AND an 8 in Dex managed to roll a 19 and a 20 on his stealth and climbed the rope with no issue at all. It was there that they saw it. A 4th wolf, big and beautiful. The Paladin wanted it. The Druid climbed up and, after waiting in the dark for the bugbears and goblins to leave it alone, successfully got the animal to follow the Paladin's orders. Now the paladin had a wolf, the Druid has two wolves, and the rogue and bard share joint custody of the last one.
Still stealthy and not wanting to get into combat anymore, the rogue came up with a plan that still shocks me now. He managed to successfully sneak stronger alcohol into the Bugbear's and Goblin's drinks, causing them to get stone drunk. And then... He rolled an 18... On a persuasion check... To convince the Bugbear... That he was its mother. Cue the single silliest conversation in history as the rogue commanded that the Bugbear free the captured human and load the stolen goods onto the supply cart before she counted to three or else!
The goblins were ordered to load the wagon (the wizard was still in it by the way), and Sildar was loaded on as well. The party took their wolf companions and their loot and rode off into the sunset.
And that was my first DM experience.