Good one-liners for a Machine Gun Nun?

[gadren]

So, due to some rule peculiarities in a game I'm playing, paladins can be built to be superbly good with heavy repeating crossbows.
I'm naming mine the Machine Gun Nun.

Only one thing is missing. One-liners. Lots of one-liners. Give them to me.

[Cikomyr]

"Say your prayers"
"Repent or be shredded!"
"I'm here to give the Last Sacraments and chew bubble gum, and I'm all out of bubble gum!"

[jaydubs]

"Hole-y" puns. Lots, and lots of terrible holy puns.

[Valwyn]

I'm not good at this, but:

"I'll tolerate nun of your evil."
"I'm gonna make you hole-y."
"Uh uh. I know what you're thinking. "Did he fire five shots or only four?" Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kinda lost track myself. But being this is a heavy crossbow, the most powerful ranged weapon in the world and would blow you head clean off, you've gotta ask yourself one question: "Do I feel lucky?" Well, do ya, punk?"
"Heavy repeating crossbow, the very best there is. When you absolutely, positively, got to smite every heathen in the room; accept no substitutes."


This links might be more helpful:
One Liner (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/OneLiner)
Bond One Liner (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BondOneLiner) (when the other guy is already dead)
Pre-asskicking One Liner (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PreAssKickingOneLiner)
Pre-Mortem One Liner (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PreMortemOneLiner) (for right before finishing off someone)

(By the way, you may want to check the quickloading enchantment from the MIC if you haven't yet.)

[Lacco]

...and the traditional: "Rest in pieces."

[BWR]

From Braindead:
"Time for divine intervention!"
"I kick ass for the Lord!"
I'd link to the appropriate scene but I suspect the mods would slap me for that.

[comicshorse]

' Let us prey '

[TheCountAlucard]

I'm surprised somebody hasn't done the classic one…

"Vaya con Dios." :smallamused:

[Angelmaker]

Reloading "time to re-lord."

More sincere "let those bolts be like that nails driven in our lord's body to purify you of your sins!"

"Cross-bow. Ha. Get it? Oh, common. It wasn't that bad."

[Freelance GM]

"Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition."

[Ravens_cry]

"Blessed are the piece makers, for they let me fill you full of hot lead!"
"I'll see you in Hell . . . from Heaven!"
"Kill em' all and let God sort 'em out!"
"I show the Lord's mercy . . . but I don't make a habit out of it!"
"'I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger!'"

[Dexam]

"I'm in the habit (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Religious_habit) of defeating evil."

"If you make me mad, I'll have to quarrel (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crossbow_bolt) with you."

[Flickerdart]

http://www.lolsaints.com/sites/lolsaints.com/files/imagecache/main-saint-image/saint-story-images/pew-pew-pew.jpg

[Hyena]

Here's a couple straight from Bioshock Infinite.

"The Lord judges... I act."
"Reap what you've sown!"
"He gave me His vision, but not His heart."

[TheEmperor]

Arrow shaft/Cupid jokes if you follow some NG Goddess of Love. All of them. Incredibly childish, but hey, fun for the family!

[Jay R]

Ah. Convent-ional weaponry.

[Milodiah]

"Wanna take a second to repent before you meet your God?"

[A Tad Insane]

"If God had wanted you to live he would not have sent me!"

"Nun will survive!"

[Braininthejar2]

"Thou shalt break them with a rod of iron; thou shalt dash them in pieces like a potter's vessel."

[A_Man]

Look for quotes from Longinus from Far Cry 4. He's perfect as a source. ^_^

[Sith_Happens]

"Any last words? I am authorized to administer wills."

[Sgt. Cookie]

"When I built this weapon, only [Deity here] and I knew how to aim it. Now, only [Deity here] knows."

"Divine inspiration often comes via a bolt. Sometimes, several are required."

"I put my faith in The Lord. And my arrows into you."

"PREPARE TO BE REAMED OR REDEEMED!"

[Excession]

Name your gun. Call it Forgiveness.

"Pelor's greatest gift is Forgiveness!"

"I've got some Forgiveness for you right here, heathen!"

"No one is beyond Forgiveness! No, really, the range increment on this thing is enormous."

"Everyone needs a little Forgiveness."

[Doorhandle]

"God grant you mercy, for I shall not."

"Samson used an ass's jawbone, but i'm willing to settle for this."

"I pray for the safety of all good people. But we can't expect God to do all the work."

"I tread the path of Righteousness. Though it be paved with broken glass, I shall walk it barefoot; though it crosses rivers of fire, I will pass over them; though it wanders wide, the light of divinity guides my step."

Inscription on bolts: "BE SAVED, FILTHY AS THOU ART."

[Dimers]

I built a very religious warrior warforged for a 4e campaign that didn't work out, and some of her quotes seem fitting:

"Feel the word, feel it!"
"And lo, the Red Knight looked upon multitargeting and saw that it was good."
"The gods can still see you when you run away."

After any good attack: "Thirty-fifth commandment: thou shalt not exist. Not when I am done with thee."
After any good attack: "Twenty-ninth commandment: thou shalt kick ass in the name of thy god. In the name of the Red Knight!"
After any good attack: "Twenty-second commandment: thou shalt die at thy appointed time, no sooner, no later."
After any good attack vs undead: "Twenty-third commandment: thou shalt stop moving around after thy death at thy appointed time!"
With any attack vs undead, elemental/demon, or aberration: "The gods have determined your existence to be a 'no-no'. You are directed to stop existing."
After any good attack: "Red Knight! Red Knight! Smite, smite, smite!"
Humming along with several rounds' actions in series: "Mine eyes have seen the glory of the smiting of the foe ..." "He'll be pushing up the daisies so [insert city name here] can grow ..." "From rat to ghost to dragon, let the Red Knight see it so! Her tactics conquer all!"
After any attack vs living: "May the Hells reject your soul and Kelemvor smite your wandering ghost, wretch."

Ahh, I do wish I'd gotten to play NVKE8X-Misinfused-Lee.

[(Un)Inspired]

"Eat hot lead, Suckas! Also, I'm a nun!"

[Kid Jake]

I have nothing to add, but I'd just like to say that in my head I heard each and every one of these delivered by Ahnold in a habit.

[chainer1216]

Repent or I set it to repeat!

I guess I'm not... holier than thou. *sunglasses*

And after the seventh magazine, god's wrath was sated.

my accuracy, like my faith, is absolute.

[Jay R]

"You are about to prostrate yourself before the gods. You may do it with repentance in your heart, or a crossbow bolt; makes no difference to me."

[Wardog]

While he tends to monologue rather than deliver one-liners, Father Anderson from Hellsing could provide some inspiration:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h6VYuqv_NR4


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FLgnCk-WJG8&feature=player_detailpage#t=1801


Although maybe not this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LDnu0giUS00

[ddude987]

I can't remember what movie but there was a movie with a bunch of nuns running at the main character with machine guns and the main nun says "make 'em holy girls!"

[Admiral Squish]

Have you met the heavy (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHgZh4GV9G0)?

[Loxagn]

"And yea, though I walk through the valley of the Shadow of Death, I shall fear no evil. For I carry a very large gun, and I am the meanest Sister in the valley."

[DragonBones]

"Well I never... It turns out heretics can become hole-y!"
"Hands in the air, or I'll splash your blood around like the communion wine."

[SouthpawSoldier]

Dig up the Nightside books by Simon R. Green. A main character is a mercenary by the name of Suzie Shooter, aka "Shotgun Suzie" aka "Oh Christ, it's her, RUN!" Not too many one liners, but plenty of that sardonic, dry Brit humor we all know and love.

[nedz]

The sisters are shooting them for themselves

It's raining bolts

Do you have any particular deity in mind for your nun ?

Most of these posts seem to assume RL religions, and we could use more flavour.

[Calen]

"One of these bolts has your name on it. I'll keep shooting until I find out which one it is."