The Mall [Modern]

[McBish]

This is a mall. It has a food court. It has stores. It has escelators. Have fun.

[Chaotic Bob]

((ah shweet, this is where I come in))

Xeni walks out of a antique store, nibbling on a hotdog and carrying a grocery bag..

[Lykan]

((If I may... This is where our first mission comes in...))

Several people in hooded sweatshirts, with the hoods up, goggles, and bandanas to completly conceal their faces come to a side entrance of a mall, and begin drawing on the wall in circular runes. Several passerbyes watch, though none attempt to stop them until a security gaurd catches them holding chanting in a semicircle around the runes

What're you doing? Did you draw this?

The continue to chant

HEY! I'm talking to-

The wall suddenly alightsThe runes suddenly glow with blue energy, and the wall fades away, revealing a portal to a blasted landscape of firey rain, lead, and shreaking wind. Creatures not of this plane begin to crawl out of the Gate and rips the policeman apart. People shriek and begin to head for the doors, which have been barred shut from some unknown force. The people who drew the gate dissipear...

[Chaotic Bob]

((hm...does Xeni get to shoot things?))

Xeni looks at the figures then the pistol attached to his hip.
Do I ever get a peaceful day? To you know, refurnish my house or something?

[Lykan]

A thin wirey humanoid with long bone prtorusions for arms pounces at Xeni, hissing

Rourc!

[Chaotic Bob]

That would be a no.
He ducks down and whips his gun out of its holster, shooting up at the creatures face before it lands on him.

[Lykan]

The creature hisses and stumbles back, eventually regaining it's balance and falling to the ground.

A spider creature drops down on Xeni from above, aiming a string of web-material at him.

[Chaotic Bob]

This, Xeni has no immediate defense for, save diving out of the way clumsily. This results in his lower body being ensnared by the web, while he fires a couple shots at the spider creature.
I...don't...like..spiders...

[McBish]

A small kobold enters the mall attracted by the smell of food.

[Lykan]

The spider demon manages to cough out a cloud of crawling spiders before it succumbs to massive damage

A large, bull-headed creature attempts to smash a hoved foot into the kobold.

[Chaotic Bob]

Xeni swats away at the spiders, doing his best to ignore his rather common phobia. His other hand sets down the gun while he tries to rip the webs off his legs.

[McBish]

The kobold does what every good kobold does when alone and facing a larger foe. He runs. He runs and jumps over the counter of the Cinnabon store in the food court.

[Lykan]

The likelyhood that Xeni's hands are stuck to the web is strong. The spiders begin to bite him.

The demon-creature followes the kobold, smashing through the counter and roaring

Auq se sov, marup aniraf!?

Lykan arrives outside the mall

Hmm... Why do I suddenly have the feeling I've run into a bizzaro version of Dead Rising?

[Kyrian]

Bit arrives, sitting in his Zoid, Liger Zero. The massive Zoid slides to a stop outside the mall, and Bit jumps out. Stay here, Liger, this shouldn't take too long.

[McBish]

The kobold backs away from the monster grabbing a rolling pin and trying to swat it away. [draconic]Leave me alone. Yip.

[Chaotic Bob]

That likelyhood turns out to be fairly accurate. At the spider bites, Xeni tries to crush the spiders as best he can on the floor.
Flerianopadefem!
In all likelyhood, this causes the web to start existing on top of the nearest demon and not on Xeni.

[Rebonack]

At about this moment a gate spirals open in the food court.

Out of it steps none other than Maph'tey. He really doesn't look out of place here, especially because his clothing was 'modern' in the first place. He glances about, taking in the chaos.

"Huh... this isn't quite what I had in mind..."

[Destro_Yersul]

James Bond's Aston Martin screeches to a stop just outside the mall. Bond grabs a large gun out of the trunk and locks the car before aiming at the roof. He fires, and a grappling hook shoots out of the gun, rope trailing behind it. It latches onto the roof and begins retracting, pulling Agent 007 up the wall.

[Lykan]

Bit arrives, sitting in his Zoid, Liger Zero. The massive Zoid slides to a stop outside the mall, and Bit jumps out. Stay here, Liger, this shouldn't take too long.
((ffs, Kyrian...))

Lykan sighs, looking up

Bond, care to throw down a line?

The rolling pin seems to do little to the demon as he reaches down to grab the Kobold.

Unfortunatly for that demon, though, he's caught up in a spiderweb, which seems to come out of nowhere...

A sword-armed demon slices at Maph'tey, laughing maniacly

[Kyrian]

((ffs?))

Bit looks up to Bond.

[Ras Sha'Akhamen]

I just wanted a new pair of shades, Scud groans as he steps through the mall doors, only to see a horde of demon-things swarming out of a big portal. Letting out a long sigh, he draws his gun fro ma hidden compartment in his side and begins filling any of the things he sees with bullets. His firearm, seemingly, has unlimited ammo. It's a large, powerful, double-barrelled pistol with enough shock to tear it out of a human's grip.
But Scud's no flesh and blood human, he's a mean, witty, Heavy 3-PO with a gold yellow gold paintjob, a lot of guts, and he's Programmed for Damage.

[Destro_Yersul]

Just a moment. Bond finishes climbing the wall before tossing the gun back down to Lykan. Even if Lykan doesn't catch it, which I doubt, it's resilient enough to not break.

[Rebonack]

((Direct references make me cry, Destro. T_T What about fDestro? Or even a usual Destro that has been un-alive ever since the original Town?))

Rebonack decides to commandeer one of the demons for his own purposes.

A hideous four headed hyena-like being patched in rot and wielding a flail decides that the odd looking fellow with mismatched wings is a prime target for some smushing. It stomps towards Maph'tey, flinging tables aside while whirling the deadly weapon in tight circles around its heads.

Maph'tey responds to this show of bravado by pointing at the thing.

Normally pointing at something isn't very dangerous, but when Maph'tey does so it usually ends in the person being pointed at instantly crystallizing.

This case is no different.

The flail continues spinning, thus causing the new statue to rock back and forth, thus causing it to topple over.

"Damn it all. I just wanted some new shoes."

[GuesssWho]

Two men enter the mall. "Friends of yours?"
"Not really." Mordred frowns. "Some of those are Doctor Bugs. Strange." {OOC: Doctor Bugs are tiny vampiric beetles. See 'The Little Sisters of Eluria' for more info.}
"I hate Doctor Bugs."
"you hateeverything, Flagg." He looks at the spiders. "Halt! Disperse."
Over half of the spiders obey him. The others, bolstered by the Doctor Bugs, continue fighting.

[McBish]

The kobold scoots a little bit further away from the now trapped demon. He picks up a cinnabon and munches on it while still holding up his rolling pin.

[Destro_Yersul]

((But it's FUNNY! I was seized by a sudden desire to create a Bond character when Lykan made this, so I did))

[Chaotic Bob]

Xeni hurries to his feet, trying to crush some of the biting spiders with one hand, while picking up his gun and shooting at nearby demons with the other.
I JUST WANTED TO REFURNISH MY HOUSE!

[Raistlin1040]

Varin walks in, sees all the fighting and pulls out his pistol for defense.

[Ras Sha'Akhamen]

Still in ridiculous action scene mode, Scud draws his second pistol and begins firing them in rapid sucession, never needing to take time to reload. He dodges counter-attacks and riposts with long dives to the side, firing his guns all the way, or quick rolls that end up with him standing right under a creature, his pistol pointing into its chin before blowing is head clean off.
Jumping down from the second floor of the mall, he crosses and uncrosses his arms in front of him in the headlong dive, firing bullets in all directs, up and down, as he begins to spin through the air in a tempest of bullets and flame. He puts his foot into a creature's neck as he lands and shoots a few more as he makes his way over to a Kobold, the first sign of life he's seen.
Hey! You! Little boy in the lizard costume! Where's the sunglass hut?

[McBish]

[draconic]Um... me no know. Yip That way. He points with his rolling pin.

[GuesssWho]

Mordred stares at Scud, then shakes his head. "That's a kobold, you moron."

[Raistlin1040]

Varin takes a shot at a centaur-like creature.

[Rebonack]

((Well, after you're done with you crazy Bond stint I expect to see a modern version of a certain trout loving lich.))

After a few moments consideration of the problem at hand Maph'tey swishes his hand in a wide arc toward the open rift, causing a two three foot thick wall of some strange glassy substance to pop into existence over the mouth of the aperture.

The demons will be able to tear through the thing, but at least it wills low them down until something more permanent can be figured out.

[Ras Sha'Akhamen]

Great. The Kid doesn't know how to talk yet, but his parents leave him along in a big mall. Filled with demons. They'll blame TV when he goes bad, too, Scud laments, shooting more demons as he runs off, desperately in search of a mall directory.

[GuesssWho]

Mordred sighs and turns into a spider. <People nowadays just don't listen.>
Flagg laughs. "No, they don't." He points his hand like a gun and 'shoots' the centaur-thing. It falls dead.

[Raistlin1040]

Varin takes a few more shots but is hit hard in the side with an axe. He staggers back, barely dodging more swipes.

(@^. Pretend you killed it after it hit Varin.))

[Flabbicus]

((Well, after you're done with you crazy Bond stint I expect to see a modern version of a certain trout loving lich.))

After a few moments consideration of the problem at hand Maph'tey swishes his hand in a wide arc toward the open rift, causing a two three foot thick wall of some strange glassy substance to pop into existence over the mouth of the aperture.

The demons will be able to tear through the thing, but at least it wills low them down until something more permanent can be figured out.

(( I was expecting him to revive Future Destro, but that works to. ))

[Kyrian]

Bit climbs up to where Bond is.

[Raistlin1040]

Varin lies on the floor, silently bleeding into the floortiles.

[Lykan]

Lykan climbs up

Well... Are wwe going for the traditional crash-through-the ceiling-in-a-hail-of-gunfire?

General mayhem continues within the mall.

[GuesssWho]

Mordred bites a creature that looks like a cross between a pig and an eagle. It screeches at him.
Flagg, meanwhile, is kicking Doctor Bugs with admirable enthusiasm.
{OOC: has the portal closed yet?}

[Kyrian]

Crash through ceiling sounds like fun to me.

[McBish]

The kobold spots several spiders coming at him and he climbs up on top of the stove batting them away from him with his rolling pin. Yip Yip!

[Rebonack]

Maph'tey nonchalantly walks over to the food-court's pizza store, reaches through the display window and retrieves a slice. He places exact change next to the cash register for his order and begins to munch it.

All the while Ruin is blasting demons while laughing insanely.

"This is actually pretty good," Maph'tey comments as he relishes the flavor.

[Destro_Yersul]

((Right. Also, I've thought of an amusing way to get rid of Bond))

I think that would work well, yes. Bond points at a nearby skylight. How about that? A conveniently placed glass dome. At that point a temporal rift opens behind him and a pair of lawyers step out. Mr. Bond? We've got a cease and desist letter ordering you to stop being here, as your existence is in direct violation of copyrights belonging to at least two film companies. We'll have to ask you to come with us. What if I say no? We do this. They shoot Bond with a tranquilizer gun and drag him back through the rift, which promptly closes.

[GuesssWho]

Flagg sees this and laughs. "I love chaos, don't you?"
<Indeed, sai. More than life.>

[Ras Sha'Akhamen]

Yes! Yes! Scud howls as he sees a directory. Killing all the demons around it in a glorious hail of gunfire, he looks at the map, occassionally pointing a gun over his shoulder to kill a demon trying to sneak up on him, until he sees Sunglass Hut. Moving his head out from around the directory to see if he can see the sunglass hut by the side entrance, his elation goes away. Wait, No! Wait, No! he replies to himself, once for each "Yes," as he sees that the shop unfortunate enough to be nearest the demonic portal is, indeed, his choice purveyor of sunglasses.
We've got to stop them! he yells, loud enough for anyone in the mall to hear, swinging himself back down over a rail, shooting below him as he lands in a roll that ends half-way to the Sunglass Hut/Portal. Pistol-whipping one centauroit demon in the kneecap to bring it to his level, he puts his gun to its head and pulls the trigger.
Still unscathed, he looks, narrowing his cybernetic eyes with grim determination, to the hellish expanse near his rack of aviator shades.

[GuesssWho]

"What kind of person cares that much about sunglasses, anyway?" Flagg asks.
<An idiot, maybe?>
"Or just a weirdo."
<Either way.>

[Chaotic Bob]

Xeni darts over to the kobold, suddenly deciding that he has taken a fondness for the scaly fellow, and proceeds to begin crushing the spiders with the butt of his gun. He has the sense to drop the cartridge when he does this.

[McBish]

The kobold holds the rolling pin between himself and Xeni unsure of if he is a threat or not.

[GuesssWho]

<Afraid of a few little spiders, are you?>
"Ignore them," Flagg agrees. "We have bigger fish to fry.

[Ras Sha'Akhamen]

(Scud kills demons where he stands, waiting for others to join the charge on the portal. Feel free to NPC him when the charge happens, if I'm not online by then. He helps fight the demons and close the portal, then, as soon as it closes, he gets his shades without paying and leaves the mall. He's pretty much a walking personification of over-stylized action movies, in terms of flavour.)

[Lykan]

((an someone take this over? I"m not feeling well tonight.

It's not because of my rant, but it's related. Sorry I cannot continue.))

[Chaotic Bob]

((I vote Rebo...just because))

Xeni smashes a few more spiders and nods at the kobold.
Don't worry little buddy, I'm not going to hurt you
He then reloads his gun and proceeds to fire at three passing demons.

[McBish]

The kobold still seems to be a little freaked out. It might be due to the demons and spiders, or maybe because it is in a setting it is entirly not use to. [draconic]Um... ok. He stuffs the rest of the cinnabon in his mouth.

[Rebonack]

((I'm sure that between McBish and myself it can be handled.))

While Maph'tey is busy enjoying his dinner a demon decides that it would be a good idea to rush up behind him.

One stroke from a blazing blade and a snicker-snack latter the monster's rhinoceros-like head bounces across the floor.

"These creatures are most persistent, Master Maph'tey," Refuge comments in his resonant voice.

"Unfortunately true. And I'm willing to bet they just rematerialize on their home plane as soon as they get smote."

He stands up, wipes his hands and a convenient paper napkin, and then causes a glassy projectile the size of a small car to go screaming off in the direction of a large crowd of the things.

Upon impact there is a rather spectacular burst of crackling lightning.

****

"You might not," snarls what appears to be a cross between an echidna and several dozen human beings fused together. "But I certainly will!" it then attempts to pulp Xeni and the as yet unnamed kobold with a gigantic tenderizing hammer just because it's mean.

[Kyrian]

Bit shatters his way through the ceiling, summoning: http://kingdomhearts.rpgplanet.gamespy.com/kingdomhearts1/media/keyblades/ultimaweapon.jpgand swinging at demons as he lands.

[GuesssWho]

Mordred is trapping monsters with webbing, while Flagg capers about 'shooting' things and slowly shrinking the portal.
Neither seem to consider themselves in any danger at all; indeed, both are laughing happily.

[Chaotic Bob]

Xeni gets that kind of 'deer looking at incoming headlights' look as the hammer comes towards him.
Zeluetadaket!
This results in a small force-like dome appearing around Xeni and the kobold if it doesn't mind, and likely shielding them from the hammer. The dome might get pushed through the floor still, but meh.

[McBish]

The kobold jumps off the stove and out of the way of any crushing and outside the sheild, silly kobold. [Draconic]Yikes. He then throws the rolling pin at the thing.

[Rebonack]

The rolling pin gets caught by one of the demon's pudgy far too many arms. It snarls in a most demon-like fashion and smotes the barrier relentlessly.

****

Unfortunately for Bit he finds himself right in the middle of some devils. Not just any devils, oh no. Copyright lawyer devils. One of them throws its hands out toward him, causing red ribbon to spiral forth and attempt to entangle him.

"Red-tape of Gehenna! Bind my intellectual property-right violating foe!" the devil cries.

****

A rather pathetic looking demon approaches Flagg and addresses him in a nasal voice.

"Excuse me? *sniff* Could you stop *snort* doing that?"

****

Maph'tey has begun encapsulating demons at this point. We'll leave it at that since this post is too long already.

[Kyrian]

Bit ignores the copyright lawyers, and attacks the actual demons.

[Chaotic Bob]

Xeni mutters something else, unheard in his bubble and appears in the air above the demon's presumed head. As gravity begins to take hold, Xeni opens fire on the demon.

[GuesssWho]

Flagg raises an eyebrow."Doing what, exactly?"

[McBish]

The kobold moves under a slightly smashed counter and hides.

[Rebonack]

Unfortunately for Bit ignoring the devil doesn't help him too much and he now finds himself in the middle of a tangle of sticky red tape. He could probably pick his way out, though any more swinging will just get him hopelessly stuck.

"Fool!" the devil cries. "None can resist the power of Gehenna's legal department!"

****

The tenderizer demon doesn't prove to be particularly resilient as he dies horribly under a hail of gunfire.

****

"*snort* Closing our *sniff* portal. Would you *wheeze* please stop?"

****

The number of demons has, by now, diminished quite a bit. Between the action heroes and Maph'tey kicking encapsulated demons through gates to the holy water sea of Celesta they aren't fairing too well.

However, the barrier over the portal is beginning to wear thin.

[Kyrian]

Oh, look at this, Bit resists the stupid legal department, as he and his player are sick of Rebonack being an ass.

[Ras Sha'Akhamen]

Um, is anyone going to come cut this off at the source with me? he asks in an irritated voice, his dramatic charge slowed, almost halted altogether, when nobody else was showing up.

[Chaotic Bob]

Xeni lands on the demon's corpse with a slight 'oof', but he quickly regains his composure and checks on the kobold. Seeing that he's okay, he rushes off to the portal, shooting anything that gets near and reloading when appropriate.

[GuesssWho]

"Why should I? I'm having fun."
Mordred rolls his eyes. <Why should you care either way, Flagg?>
Flagg grins. "True . . ." And he shoots the demon. "Hell, let it stay open. The more the merrier!" And he blows up a good ten or twenty demons at one go.

[McBish]

The kobold peaks it's head out and for a second it looks like it is going to follow Xeni, but then it spots the Orange Julius and goes there instead.

[Ras Sha'Akhamen]

Heeeeel yeah! Happy Haiku, brotha trucka! Scud yells at Xeni, running after and covering her with gunfire, gleeful to have his dramatic moment back.

[Rebonack]

Rebnack has to wonder why Kyrian expected him to take a character from Zoids wielding a key-blade seriously.

Seriously.

The devil crosses his arms impatiently.

"For the love of Asmodious, take it easy guy. That tape is totally a legitimate attack."

****

A mall rent-a-cop joins Scud in his charge.

"Let's take these guys down!" he yells and begins to open fire with his heavily magically enhanced ray gun.

...

Seems like a reasonable thing for a mall cop to have to me.

****

"Thank you for *snort* listening." Says the nasal demon moments before getting shot in the face.

****

Our band of Action Heroes wade through the demon hoard leaving a swath of carnage in their wake.

Upon reaching the portal an obvious question arises.

"So... How do we shut this thing?" rent-a-cop Steve asks.

[Kyrian]

((Edited out because I'm apparently getting too stressed for my own good))

[Ras Sha'Akhamen]

Yeaaaaaah. I didn't really think about that. Scud says awkwardly. Weeeel, this is a mood-killer, innit?
He paces, occasionally shooting a demon or two that gets close, muttering Think, think, think, to himself as he moves in a circle.
Oh, hell. Wanna just shoot it a whole bunch and hope it goes away?

(Kyrian, I'd chill out. I think he's just using a kind of demon he thought would be funny and really did mean it as a legimitate attack. Think of it as a more flavourful version of the entangle spell or something.)

[GuesssWho]

<Morons, your bus is leaving.>
Flagg laughs. "A weak man's great fear being is being found out. That's why idiots with no business fighting always jump into the fray."
<Wat use is drama if it's all you have?>Mordred sighs. He shifts into hybrid form, grabs a butcher knife from a store, and stabs at some sort of tauric scorpion.

[Chaotic Bob]

Hm...I could always politely order the universe to close it, but that doesn't always work so...
He shrugs dismissively and shoots a charging demon in the knee.

[McBish]

The kobold gets a orange julius and starts to run from a couple of spiders. He seems good at running.

[Ras Sha'Akhamen]

Scud walks to the portal and pretends to be looking for a way to shut it down, shooting at any wayward demons, but really pays no attention at all to the portal, intead grabbing his sunglasses and slipping them into the gun compartment in his armour, just in case they were to be damaged in the ensuing battle.
Walking back to the party outside the gates, he gives a pouty look with his eyes. I'm a machine. If only God would come out of me and solve this problem. . .

[GuesssWho]

<Is Flagg the only sorcerer here? Use magic, fools!>
"I probably am."
Mordred rolls his eyes.

[Kyrian]

You want a legit attack? How's....THIS! Bit leaps back at the devil, swiping with the ultima keyblade.

[Ras Sha'Akhamen]

Turning to the lawyers, since he can't do much about the portal, Scud says Objection as he fires a stream of bullets at them. If any hit, he says Sustained.
Then, his catch-phrase used and dramatic tension still murdered as he waits for the wall to close, he goes back to pouting.

[Rebonack]

The knee-shot demon doubles over, but since it has no fewer than three dozen knees, it happens to be a ball of legs, actually, that doesn't slow it down too much.

****

A very brave looking NPC yells at the kobold as he runs.

[draconic]Hey! Get your little scaly tail back here and pay for that!

****

A creature that appears to be a cross between a swine and an ogre lumbers up to Flagg and co and attempts to smash them with a coke machine.

"thorgok improvise!" it bellows.

****

Maph'tey finally makes his way over to the largish gate.

"Huh... one of those Astral Plane spanning gates. I'm no good with that stuff..."

Ruin decides that now would be a good time to hurl a bunch of bolts of radiant energy into the demon crowd.

****

Bit does a rather incredible job of leaping straight through the red-tape.

Seriously, that was an insane display of agility.

The end result of this is the devil getting cleaved down the middle. As if this weren't bad enough it gets riddled with a whole bunch of bullets, too.

[Ras Sha'Akhamen]

Try? Scud asks Maph'tey.

[Chaotic Bob]

Xeni decides that now is as good as ever for target practice and makes a point of trying to blast out every single knee.

[Kyrian]

Anyone else want to piss with legalities? Good. Bit leaps over the railing, to join the fray below. No, not the band, the fight. The band "The Fray" stands off to the side, sad that Bit's not joining them.

[McBish]

[draconic]Dirk not make many friends. Spiders try to eat, demons try to smash, pimply face human yell at me. Dirk sad. A spider comes very close to bitting Dirk the Kobold. Dirk scared more! And he runs faster up a flight of stairs.

[Ras Sha'Akhamen]

Don't feel sorry for them, they deserve it, Scud scowls (without a mouth), snapping both out of his irrational anger at ruined climactic scenes and muscial elitism. I mean, they don't really seem to have any understanding of how to save a life, just sitting there like that. If you guys really knew how, you'd close this stupid portal! he yells, mockingly. Stupid Fray Grey's Anatomy stupid shavy-head guy with the piano stupid Fray and their stupid whiny stupid indie majour stupid stupid stupid he rants under his breath. Stupid no-punctuation he adds, belatedly.

[Kyrian]

Bit debates hitting Scud. His player happens to like The Fray....and by like the Fray, he means he only listens to "How To Save A Life." What? They put it on a fitting episode of Scrubs.

[Ras Sha'Akhamen]

(I don't mind them, personally. Scud would just hate any band remotely like that. Anything with a piano or un-distorted guitar isn't his thing. Plus, he's in a bad mood for getting gipped out of an action sequence. I'm getting off. Anyone who wants can NPC Scud's portal-closing fighting. Again, just go for a John Woo over-the-top action movie hero. Someone at least note that he gleefully engages in over-the-top action when the portal closing starts to happen, please.)

[Rebonack]

Dirk finds the ascent up the stairs unusually taxing. This may have to do with being on the wrong side of the escalator.

Just for fun, a huge fiendish armadillo comes rolling down said escalator.

****

Bit lands directly on top of a rather gelatinous mushroom-like demon that proceeds to goosh rather nastily. Seeing their comrade smashed several more hobble toward the pilot with their tusked mouths gaping wide.

The Fray are beset upon by a swarm of groupies. Poor bastards.

****

The ball of feets finally flops to a halt about ten feet away from Xeni. Then it splits open, showing off a maw filled with jagged teeth and one of those crazy long tongues. It attempts to lash said appendage around the doppelganger and drag him into its jaws.

****

Maph'tey tentatively tries to alter the destination point for the portal. This results in a spectacular amount of failure.

"Really, does anyone else know how to close one of these things?"

[McBish]

((Wow we think alike, I was going to have him do that.))

Dirk manages to jump over said armidillo and it crashes into the spiders that were chasing Dirk.

[Chaotic Bob]

This catches Xeni completely off guard and he is indeed grabbed. Though the 2 or 3 bullets he fires into the tongue might make it reconsider.

[Kyrian]

Poor bastards? Only if there weren't any cute female groupies... >.<

Anyways, Bit yelps as he sees the tusked mouths. Son of a bitch....FINAL FORM! There is a crash in time as Bit's entire clothing turns to a white with black semi-stripes pattern.

Suddenly, Oathkeeper and Oblivion start spinning around him.

http://kingdomhearts.rpgplanet.gamespy.com/kingdomhearts1/media/keyblades/oathkeeper.jpghttp://kingdomhearts.rpgplanet.gamespy.com/kingdomhearts1/media/keyblades/oblivion.jpg

((Bit's player thinks it's almost time to put Kingdom Hearts II down....))

[Chaotic Bob]

((aw...but its such a good game!))

[Kyrian]

((well, I've beaten the story line once, at level 52. Now I'm going back through with the guide, so I can try and get 100% on this second time round. Oh, and I've already logged 100+ hours on this second save))

[Chaotic Bob]

((yeesh, I beat the game in a weekend...but I didn't really go for 100% so much as mere completion...Might as well say that I eagerly await the third one))

[Kyrian]

((I want to cry...because it might only come out for PS3...))

[Chaotic Bob]

((if that happened, I would cry right along with you))

[Kyrian]

((Alright...*stops watching KH AMVs and goes back to playing KH II...and paying attention here of course*

Oh, and damn straight I'm buying Kingdom Hearts II: Final Mix, when it reaches the states in December.))

[Rebonack]

((Eh, considering how PS3 exclusives have been fairing thus far I wouldn't be surprised if it heads over to the XBox 360))

Surprisingly enough the second floor is completely clear of demons. Apparently they're all heading to the food court to protect the portal.

There is, however, an Old Navy store and a GameSpot.

And one of those big electric floor buffers.

****

Sadly getting shot in the tongue doesn't appear to bother the demon too much. It does however, bother the tongue. The slimy appendage droops to the ground as the demon lurches forward and attempts to bite Xeni.

Persistent bugger, eh?

****

The 'shroom demons are shoved back slightly by the overly flashy display. After a moment's hesitation they resume their charge.

****

Maph'tey piles on more barrier too keep the demons on the other side of the portal while Ruin continues his insane blasting.

Refuge just sort of sits there looking large and imposing.

[Chaotic Bob]

((I would, but my PS2 decided that it was going to stop working for no real reason and I havn't gotten around to getting a new one))

Xeni unloads a few more bullets into the demon's tongue, just because he can. Only these particular bullets are holy bullets.
Xeni also makes a point of jumping to the side, away from the demon and consequently into a nearby table.
Argh...my head.

[McBish]

The kobold moves into a quiet store and finds a corner and curls up in it going to sleep.

[Kyrian]

((The bottom of my PS2 has gotten scratched up recently...due to my sliding it around my dorm room's floor...stupid linoleum. Now I have a folder sitting under it.))

Bit holds onto the Ultima Keyblade, as he lets Oathkeeper and Oblivion spin around him at high speeds, attacking the demons. Using his magic like ability, Sense EBGames/Game Stop, Bit uses the Final Form's ability, Glide to fly back up and into Game Stop.

[Rebonack]

The 'shroom demons get the crap shredded out of them. As mentioned before, there aren't any demons on the second floor.

****

The holy slugs cause the foot and mouth demon to explode spectacularly. And chunkfully. And bloodily.

Eeeeww...

****

Rebonack decides that now may be a good time to set the mall attack aside until Lykan can finish his Plot himself.

This makes Ruin sad because he wanted to incinerate more demons.

[Kyrian]

Bit's ok with the lack of demons on the second floor. He enters Game Preserve, and breaks open the case to the display Xbox 360. He then finds a disc for Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion, and begins playing.

[Chaotic Bob]

Xeni inexplicably finds himself behind Bit, backseat gaming.

[Kyrian]

Bit considers Xeni lucky his Drive Gauge just emptied, and Oathkeeper and Oblivion vanished, else he'd use them against Xeni. Instead, he deals with the backseat gaming as he comes to the dilemma of deciding if he wants a male character, or female character.

[Chaotic Bob]

I think the guys get better hair options, you should choose one of those...
He then proceeds to prattle on about a few other pointless tidbits of information.

[Kyrian]

As Xeni prattles, Bit chooses Male, and flies through the remaining options. He just wants to get to the game, and choose who lives, and who dies. Which is how his player usually plays Morrowind.

[Chaotic Bob]

Xeni's player typically can't help himself and just mindlessly kills things...he's got little patience for hunting down hard to find items unless they're destructive.
Xeni holsters his gun as he continues to prattle.

[Kyrian]

Bit's player actually has two saved games for his only character to go through the storyline. One is good, and helps everyone. The other goes from Town to Town and slaughters everyone.
Bit plays the game.

[Chaotic Bob]

Xeni's character, oddly enough, does the exact same thing. The good file is oddly neglected though.
Xeni begins to cheerfully point out various monsters and NPC's, deciding for Bit how best to kill them.

[Kyrian]

Bit secretly pretends that each NPC he kills is Xeni. Only secretly ;-). Otherwise he enjoys playing, and continues doing so as his player goes to get sleep now.

[Chaotic Bob]

Xeni's player waves goodnight to Bit's player as Xeni continues to get very animated about how to kill the NPC's, completely unaware of Bit's imaginings.

[GuesssWho]

{Sorry: I was AFC.}
Flagg looks around and sees that a few demons have gotten hold of weaponry. He snaps his fingers and the demons are attacked by their own weapons.

[Raistlin1040]

Varin lies bleeding into the floortiles due to no one helping him.

[GuesssWho]

Flagg notices Varin and snaps his fingers again. The wounds start to heal at an accelerated rate.

[Raistlin1040]

Varin is healed but still unconcious.

[GuesssWho]

Mordred laughs and shakes him. <Up, friend, up! Tonight we sup, tomorrow we die o' revel. Up for a toast, then down we shall coast-a health for his Lordship the Devil!>
Flagg laughs and hits a demon over the head with a beer bottle. Well said, well said!"

[Raistlin1040]

Varin groggily awakens.
Yeah?

[Ras Sha'Akhamen]

Does anyone know how to close this thing? Scud asks irritably, too bored to even bother shooting demons that aren't a direct ,immediate threat to him anymore.

[GuesssWho]

"Magic, probably. I'd help, but I'm more the type to open mysterious portals to the darkness between the worlds." Flagg grins and takes a drink from the bottle he'd been using as a bludgeon.
<And I'm a telepath, not a mage. Oh, well.> Mordred shrugs, inasmuch as he can. <Anyway, I'm in his camp when it comes to doing things like this.>

[Ras Sha'Akhamen]

If I were you, I'd be pissed at somebody stealing my gig like that. I mean, if another yellow robot walked into town? I'd cap that sucka in a second. Do you want just anybody running around opening portals, stealing your schtick? Gettin' up in your turf? Or do you wanna shut the portal and show them who the mother-effing boss is! Scud says, trying to rally Randall to the portal-closing side.

[The Geomancer]

A wooden spoon flies into the mall. Why is this mall filled with demons? He asks. Are they here for the low, low prices?

A humanoid demon with two long horns runs up, and the spoon flies behind it and starts mercilessly attacking the back of its head. As the demon runs in fright from the flying spoon, the spoon spots a rather nasty looking dog-demon. The spoon drops to the floor, and suddenly the dog-demon has a rather undemonish look on its face. The dog-demon proceeds to become bright green. There, now no one will think I'm with the demons The dog-demon says.

[GuesssWho]

Flagg laughs. "Like I care?"
<It would be efficient, you know,> Mordred says.
"Yes, but I'm having fun doing it the slow way."
Mordred groans. <I, for one, would like to get out of here before the cows come home.>
"Oh, alright." He thinks a moment. "Begone, thinny. Close, o entrance to yon todash darkness and bother us no more."
The portal shrinks by about half.
"If they still can't deal with it, that's their problem. I think the supermarket is still open, so lets get a sandwich."
And they wander off.

[Kyrian]

Bit is tired as hell, yet still playing ES IV: Oblivion.

[The Geomancer]

The dog-demon leaps onto the back of a demon twice its size and starts biting at its neck furiously. Because the larger demon doesn't have any arms, it sort of left itself vulnerable to this type of attack and dies after a little bit of struggling.

[Obsidian Blade]

Adia walks into the mall, humming to herself, and stops to watch the fight, making no move to join in on either side.

[McBish]

On the second floor a cobwebed wraped kobold can be seen being carried by several spiders.

[Chaotic Bob]

This happens to be noticed by a prattling Xeni, who ceases and begins to run after the kobold.
Hey hey! Drop it you irritating arachnids!

[GuesssWho]

"You! Halt!"
The spiders slow enough for Xeni to catch up, although they don't stop.

[McBish]

Several spiders keep carrying Dirk. Three turn and go to attack Xeni.

[Obsidian Blade]

Adia wrinkles her nose in revulsion at the spiders but being bored, watches from a safe distance.

[GuesssWho]

A spider at least the size of a human pokes her. <Choose a side, you silly little fool, or the demons will choose for you!> And it barrels into one of the spiders attacking Xeni.
"It's not her fault she's frightened, Mordred."
<Some people get over their fright and succeed admirably, Flagg.>

[Chaotic Bob]

Xeni jumps back and fires at two of the spiders with his handy .45.

[McBish]

These spiders get shot and twitch on the floor. Two more stop carrying Dirk and jump at Xeni trying to bite him. The last one starts to drag the poor kobold away.

[Obsidian Blade]

Aida jumps at Mordred touching her, and digs her hands deep into her pockets, fingering the small metal items that lie there. Fine. She mutters, and slowly walks forward to follow the spider dragging the kobold from a distance.

[Chaotic Bob]

One spider sinks his teeth into Xeni's leg. Much yelling and firing at the spider occurs as a result. The other spider likely meets a small dagger in the face.

[Kyrian]

Bit keeps playing Oblivion.

[McBish]

Both spiders die by Xeni's hand. He might feel some posion coursing through his veins that will make lower your dex. The last spider guards the kobold by hissing at anyone that gets near them. It stands on top of him.

[Chaotic Bob]

Xeni decides that his suddenly lowered coordination probably wouldn't go very well together with his gun. So he walks into a nearby store and walks out with a shovel. He then proceeds to introduce the shovel to the spider rather intimately.

[Obsidian Blade]

Aida pulls her hand out of her pocket, bringing lots of small shards of shrapnel with it. She concentrates on them, and they slowly rise into the air, spinning like tops. They quickly form into a formation that looks like an arrow and point towards the spider guarding the kobold.

((Brb))

[GuesssWho]

Mordred laughs. <Well, that got her moving.>
Flagg grins. He is hitting demons with his beer bottle and humming 'Sympathy for the Devil' under his breath.

[Obsidian Blade]

Aida glares daggers at Mordred before flicking her wrist and sending the shrapnel flying through the air at the kobold-guarding spider.

[Ras Sha'Akhamen]

Scud hums along in a melancholy whimper, bored and sulking. I see a read door and I want it effing shu-ut he sings. Wrong lyrics, I know, but it was the only one that worked.

[McBish]

The spider is killed. The kobold rolls around on the ground.

[Chaotic Bob]

Xeni tosses the shovel aside and tries to stop the kobold from moving as he begins to work on cutting the webs.

[Obsidian Blade]

Aida spends a long second looking at the dead spider in satisfaction before flicking her wrist again and summoning the shrapnel back to her. She places them in her pocket and folds her arms, coldly regarding Mordred.

[McBish]

The kobold panics at the sight of sharp object being near him. Then he recgonizes Xeni and calms down a bit.

[GuesssWho]

Mordred shifts back into hybrid form and grins at Aida. "You needn't be touchy as all that."
"Women. What can you say?"
"You be quiet too. We all know what happened to your wife, so excuse me if your opinion is taken with a grain of salt."
Flagg looks unhappy for a moment, but quickly grins again. "What can I say? Riding tigers is a dangerous hobby."

[Chaotic Bob]

Xeni smiles as comfortingly as he can and tries to carefully cut the webs off of Dirk.

[McBish]

Dirk still seems to be freaked out and once he is free scoots away from them.

[Obsidian Blade]

Aida looks at them strangely and flips Mordred the finger. I'm not touchy. I don't appreciate it when a spider the size of a freaking pony decides to prod me into choosing a side.

[GuesssWho]

"That's practically normal, in this town." Mordred shrugs.

[Chaotic Bob]

Xeni holds his hands up in a peaceful gesture to the kobold and takes a step back.
Are you alright?

[Obsidian Blade]

So I've noticed. Aida says, turning a piece of shrapnel over and over in her hand. Shadowkind don't seem to be very welcome, either.

[McBish]

[draconic]I um... lost.. not cave then spider... then... Um... I confused. He slumps down to the ground.

[GuesssWho]

"Just ones that come through mysterious portals and attack people, as far as I can tell. Otherwise Flagg and I wouldn't be here."

[Chaotic Bob]

[draconic]It's okay, just calm your mind for a moment.

[Obsidian Blade]

Aida thinks for a minute, lifting up the small shard of metal with her mind and twirling it in front of her face. Hmm. 'Flagg' is an odd name.

[McBish]

Dirk nods and takes several deep breathes. Then he shakes his head. [Draconic]Nope me still confused.

[Chaotic Bob]

[draconic]What exactly are you confused about, friend?

[GuesssWho]

Flagg grins. "Call me Randall. Mordred just likes to use surnames. He's old-fashioned for such a young man."
"Also, Flagg is easier to say."
"Whatever." Flagg bows. "And you?"

[McBish]

[draconic]Where... how. Lots of stuff.

[Obsidian Blade]

Aida surveys Mordred critically before looking back at Flagg. You may call me Aida.

[GuesssWho]

Mordred looks over at the kobold. <I'd like to know why as well,> he 'says' mentally.
Flagg smiles. "Thankee, sai Aida. I'm much pleased to meet you. Glad you guessed my name." He laughs at his joke.

[Chaotic Bob]

[draconic]I see...you're in a place called a 'mall'. Its simply a place that sells lots of stuff. That should handle the 'where' I think. As for the 'how', where were you before you came here?

[McBish]

[Draconic]Um... place with bit loud carriages and dark place with food scraps. But before that I was in cave home.

[Obsidian Blade]

I'd like tp say the pleasure was all mine, but... She glances at Mordred. It isn't really. However, I'm interested in the way you talk. What does 'sai' mean? Aida listens to the gutteral rasps of Draconic but doesn't recognise it.

[Chaotic Bob]

[draconic]Are you trying to get back home then?

[McBish]

[draconic]Um... me just came here to eat food. It smelled good.

[GuesssWho]

"It's like 'Madam'-or 'Sir'-but genderless." He smiles. "The world we come from has a lot of words unused outside of it. If you get Mordred talking it's even worse: he'll go on about ka-tets and the devar-toi until the Tower falls."

[Chaotic Bob]

[draconic]True, a lot of the food here does smell good...
He rubs his chin and begins to rummage through his pockets.

[McBish]

[draconic]Yeah, but there are a lot of scary things to. A lot like cave home really.

[Chaotic Bob]

[draconic]Sounds like that cave was a fun place.
He pulls a wallet out of a pocket and slips over to the nearest food store, allowing Dirk to follow if he wishes.

[Obsidian Blade]

((It's funny to see Flagg talking to Mordred, especially with the way their relationship 'ended' in the last book.))

Aida tilts her head at the unfamilier phrases and smiles. I see. What world do you come from, then?

[McBish]

Dirk does so carefully. [draconic]Not really. It was scary. Big boss could be mean.

[Rebonack]

Maph'tey is, meanwhile, still keeping any more demons from filing through the portal by adding new layers of solid aether to the barrier as they scrape through it.

By now most, if not all, of the demons inside the mall have been killed by the Town's ample supply of Action Heroes.

[GuesssWho]

{What can I say? They're my favorite characters! Anyway, this is after several more times 'round, if you will.}
"How much you wanna bet that yon cully pays for his shopping?" Mordred says, watching this.
"I'm sure he will, Mordred, I'm sure he will." Flagg chuckles. "Old habits die hard." He looks back at Aida. "All-World it is called. Strange, since it's not even close to being all there is."
"It is the linchpin."
"A linchpin. Even so, it's a bumhug."

[Chaotic Bob]

[draconic]Big boss?
He moves a demon corpse out of the way and begins to browse pastries.

[McBish]

Dirk looks at the pastries as well. [draconic]Yeah he was really big. Also could be really mean.

[Obsidian Blade]

Not that strange, really. I've found that every world thinks it is the hub of all creation. Aida smirks as she looks at Mordred. You do speak old-fashioned. Like the old Western movies.

[GuesssWho]

<The bigger they are, the harder they fall. Not that you're a trig cully, to sneak up on a tyrant . . .> He looks at Aida. "Indeed, sai-that and Arthurian legend. There's a reason my name be Mordred."

[Chaotic Bob]

[draconic]Is he another one of your kind?
He looks at a raspberry tart and decides that he'll get one of those.

[McBish]

[draconic]Nope he much bigger.

((Got to go. Sorry.))

[Obsidian Blade]

((I think you're doing it quite well, actually. Only now for some reason I've got that weird little sentance in my head: Dud a chum, dad a chee, not to worry, you've got the key...))

Aida dimly recalls the legend of King Arthur. So you betrayed someone in your family. Probably your father. She says, neither recriminating nor impressed.

[Chaotic Bob]

((bye))

Xeni raises an eyebrow, curious.
[draconic]Is he a dragon-kin?

[GuesssWho]

"Mayhaps. Which one, though? That's the puzzler. If I betray the one I help the other, you see."

[Obsidian Blade]

Aida looks confused. What do you mean by that?

[GuesssWho]

"Mordred a-had two fathers, sai-two fathers and two mothers. Such things can happen, when magic is afoot."
{It's getting late here. 'See' you tomorrow.}

[Obsidian Blade]

Aida raises an eyebrow. ...I wasn't aware of that.

((Okay. Goodnight :smallsmile:))

[McBish]

[draconic]Yeah Dragon like. Not my kin though silly I much to small to be related to big boss.

[Ras Sha'Akhamen]

The spirit of a man with silver hair, a neatly-trimmed beard, and an eyepatch floats in the periphery, seperated from the world by a translucent boundary of Copyrighted Character Bans. A single tear slides down his cheek from his good eye as he wishes desperately to break the barrier so he can make a funny about his name being used all the time by the little Kobold.
Kicking his spectral foot petulantly into some Ethereal dust, he leaves with a pouty look on his face to go take over his son's mind.

[The Geomancer]

A bright green dog-demon trots through the mall, smelling the food and wagging its tail happily. This mall is much bigger then any I have been to. It says.

[GuesssWho]

"More things in Heaven and Earth, Horatio . . . Of course, Hamlet died after he said that."
"Aye, so he did. But no one lives forever."
"No Short-Timer. But we aren't Short-Timers."
Mordred rolls his eyes. "Everything dies in the end, Flagg. If only the end o' the universe."

[Chaotic Bob]

[draconic]Makes sense I suppose...You want a tart?

[McBish]

[draconic]Tart? Is that a tart. He points to a tasty looking tart. [draconic]It looks tasty.

[GuesssWho]

<No real reason not to> Mordred 'whispers' to the ghost. <There isn't any harm in breaking the rules now and then, sai.>

[Chaotic Bob]

[draconic]That is indeed a tart my scaly friend. I could get it for you if you'd like.

[McBish]

[draconic]Um... ok then. I like you.

[Chaotic Bob]

Xeni smiles and purchases the tart Dirk chose. He holds it out to the kobold.
[draconic]Here you go.

[McBish]

The kobold grabs it and starts to eat it quickly like he is expecting someone to come and try to take it away from him.

[Chaotic Bob]

Xeni picks his tart up from where he left it on the counter and takes a bite.
Mm, yummy.
[draconic]Enjoying your tart?

[McBish]

Dirk shoves the remaining half into his mouth and nods he looks around the mall.

[Chaotic Bob]

Xeni takes a couple more bites from his tart before slipping it into a box and a small bag. He kicks a demon corpse out of the way and walks out of the shop.
Hm...there was something I was going to do when I got here, but I appear to have forgotten...drat.

[McBish]

The kobold considers following Xeni but spots a large group of people and hides. He goes down a hallway and finds himself in the basement of the mall and grabs some rags and what not and makes a small nest and curls up and goes to sleep.

[Chaotic Bob]

Xeni looks around briefly for the kobold, but shrugs and figures he'll show up again eventually. He rubs his chin for a moment and walks off into a furniture store.

[GuesssWho]

Mordred leaves the mall.
"See you, Aida." And Flagg leaves as well.

[Rebonack]

At this point the Mall janitors show up.

The thing that's rather odd about said janitors is the fact that they're robots. Robots with disintegration rays.

Apparently the mall management are well prepared for the task of cleaning up after Action Heroes.

They begin to obliterate the corpses while clouds of minute repair drones get about the task of... well... repairing everything.

[Obsidian Blade]

Aida yells at Dead Time as she wakes up from it and leaves the mall, not seeing the man that was the reason she came in the first place.

[Raistlin1040]

Varin leaves.

[McBish]

The kobold leaves the basement and starts to slink around the mall, with wide eyes. He tries to stay out of sight.

[The Geomancer]

The green dog-demon sights the robot janitors and raises a demonic eyebrow. How strange you'd think they would have sent those out during the fight. He looks over at one. Immediately it stops cleaning and looks up. Never been a robot before. It exclaims. Meanwhile the dog-demon scents the kobold and starts running toward it, barking in a demonic doggish tongue.

[McBish]

The kobold starts to run from the demon dog. Yip! [draconic] Go Away!

[The Geomancer]

The robot janitor turns its disintegration rays on the demon, turning it to dust. I've got to be careful where I leave my vessals. It says. Sorry about that! It calls out to the kobold.

[McBish]

The kobold now runs from the scary robot laser beam thingy.

[Rebonack]

Now that the demon attack is (probably) over, Maph’tey finally gets down to business. Specifically business at Roebuck’s. Apparently in this Realm Sears was the side of the famous mail in catalog that got dropped.

After a fair degree of searching he manages to find the object of his desire.

“So… this oven is powered by compressed gas, right?”

“That’s correct, sir.”

“And the bullet-proof casing for the gas canister is included in the price?”

“Yes, sir.”

“And in case it fails?”

“You can purchase our world class Action Hero warranty along with the oven.”

“That’s great, I’ll take it.”

More boring stuff continues from here.

[McBish]

The kobold hides inside a fake plant display.

[Chaotic Bob]

Xeni walks out of a furniture store, glowering.
Outrageous! That quality is completely undeserving of that price!
He continues to silently fume and heads for an escalator he assume he can find sooner or later.

[McBish]

The kobold spots Xeni and starts to follow him at a good distance, hiding from sight.

[Chaotic Bob]

Xeni, not being of a particular observant mood, fails to notice the kobold and finds the escalator. He steps onto it and shifts his grip on his shopping bags.

[McBish]

The kobold continues to follow him.

[Kyrian]

Bit is still playing Oblivion.

[Chaotic Bob]

Xeni, for some reason, bends down to examine an odd splotch on his shoe. This has the nasty consequence of causing him to falls down the escalator, landing painfully at the bottom. He stands up with a groan and a small sphere slips from one of his pockets.
This just isn't my day...

[McBish]

The kobold who is riding down the escalator tries to hide, but really can't since he is coming down an escalator. So he tries to act casual, and fails horribly. He strikes a ridiculus "natural" pose.

[Chaotic Bob]

((huh...coulda sworn I posted here...))

Xeni rubs his bruised head and looks up at the kobold.
Hah, knew he'd show up again...though I am curious as to why that is so significant...
[draconic]How are you doing over there?

[McBish]

[draconic]Hey, me no see you there, imagine running into you. Odd. Um... me good.

[Chaotic Bob]

Xeni smiles, faintly amused by the kobold's lie.
[draconic]That's good to hear, doing anything in particular at the moment?

[McBish]

[draconic]Yeah, um... me might think of going... um, He looks around and sighs. [draconic]No.

[Rebonack]

Maph'tey is currently busy coming down an escalator. He looks pretty casual about it. Casual despite the fact that something none to dissimilar to a silvery sheened, glassy mass is sitting behind him. None too dissimilar because it's pretty hard to tell exactly what it is. The whole thing is indistinct, like the after-image of a nightmare half-remembered upon awakening in a cold sweat.

It would probably be more terrifying if it weren't carrying a boxed up oven.

[Chaotic Bob]

[draconic]Is there something you would like to be doing?

[McBish]

[draconic]Um well me ate already. Then me find get chased by mean doggy, then scary beam thing did stuff. Um... where was I... oh yeah. No not really.

[Chaotic Bob]

[draconic]Sounds like you had an eventful day...huh, it just occured to me that I can't recall your name...

[McBish]

[draconic]Oh probably because me never tell you. Me not tell most people my name, me used to but then big boss said to me, I NO CARE ABOUT YOU NAME. So then I didn't tell people my name... oh yeah, I'm Dirk.

[Chaotic Bob]

Xeni nods, understanding how that made sense.
[draconic]Alright Dirk. If I havn't told you already and forgotten, then I'm Xeni.

[McBish]

[draconic]Ok then. Um... so what now?

[Chaotic Bob]

Xeni rubs his chin and looks around, shifting his bags again and failing to notice as the small sphere he dropped begins to roll away.
[draconic]I imagine we could look for something interesting, though I'm not sure what...

Defying gravity on more than one occasion, the sphere makes its way into a restaurant.

[Rebonack]

Just to be a jerk, someone nails Maph'tey's construct with a dismiss ectoplasm power. Despite the fact that the construct isn't actually made of ectoplasm it suddenly stops existing since the whole aether thing is just for flavor.

"Oh frack..."

Maph'tey comments as his new oven comes bouncing down the escalator toward him.

[McBish]

Dirk almost notices the sphere then sees a falling stove coming at him. Yip! He jumps out of the way.

[Chaotic Bob]

Xeni looks up at the oven and his eyes widen slightly.
Zeluetiknatir!
This may cause the oven to rise a few feet into the air and stay there. Then again, it may simply do nothing...or something completely different. The universe is odd like that.

[Rebonack]

Much to the pleasure of anyone who doesn't like being smashed by a several hundred pound appliance the oven does indeed float up into the air.

Maph'tey glances around, spotting the source of the universe altering phrase.

"Thanks for telling off gravity. That could have gotten pretty ugly."

[McBish]

The kobold quickly finds another fake plant to hide behind. In case the oven chased him? I don't know.

[Chaotic Bob]

Xeni watches Dirk hide and turns to Maph'tey.
Sure thing. I prefer to not be crushed or have others crushed unless its necessary somehow.

[Rebonack]

What appears to be a glassy leash suddenly pops out of nowhere and tethers the oven, allowing Maph'tey to pull it along behind himself.

"Yeah, I can agree with that," he pauses for a moment, studying Xeni. "Now, I know I saw you down in the food court fighting off the demons, but I can't help but think I've seen you somewhere else..."

[McBish]

Dirk watches them from behind the plastic plants.

[Chaotic Bob]

Xeni blinks and looks Maph'tey over.
Now that you mention it...

[Rebonack]

"The last hub-Realm I had visited involved tossing a dart at a map. Same with this one," he glances around again. "I think the whole motif here is a little bit closer to home, though. So there was this guy I met there who shouted gibberish at the universe to get it to do whatever he wanted. You remind me of him."

Some obnoxious kid launches a Nerf dart at Dirk from behind.

[McBish]

Dirk jumps out from behind the plant and looks around for a new place to hide.

[Chaotic Bob]

Xeni stiffens slightly at 'gibberish'.
It's not gibberish! It's Truespeak! It happens to be the language of the universe, allowing careful manipulation to be possible.