ufo
2007-04-16, 01:05 PM
So, yeah, I was bored today and decided to write a sci-fi story. Right now it's unbelievably short, and what I've got for now was actually an experiment to see if I would enjoy writing a story, in English.
I have avoided giving detailed descriptions of stuff, mostly because of my flawed English. Which means that I hope you have an imagination. Also, no name yet :smallbiggrin:
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The man pressed his forehead on the iron bars on the small police spaceship. Small for a government ship, at least. He was wondering how deep the marks in his forehead would be afterwards. Perhaps he could even beat his own record! Anyhow, he had nothing else to do, while waiting to be transported to that 'small stupid Prison asteroid', or 'Spa', as it was actually called in the everyday by most people on the nearby planets. No one really understood why they still used that prison. The average prisoners coming in every week was 100-300, which was ridiculously low. The average number of escapees every week would be some 100-200. The only punishment for going to that particular prison was waiting for 2 or three days, plus one or two, depending on how far away the prison transport has to travel to get you to the prison in the first place. The man heard a tired voice, speaking strangely loud, considering this was a prison transport ship. ”Hey. Why are you in here? We weren't even supposed to transport prisoners this run to Beef 6.” he laughed loudly at the last part of his sentence. The man looked up, only now realizing that out of the total 6 cells, he was the only prisoner. ”Well, you could look me up on one of those handy police-compies of yours, I'm sure you have one of those around.”. The guard was clad in light white armour, his helmet hanging in a thin rope-like material from his waist-down. He was sitting on a stool, his white rifle standing against the bars in the opposite end of the room. The guard grumbled, rose and from a nearby simplistic metal table took a laptop, sat down and put the laptop on his thighs. He opened the screen and began tapping for a few second. He looked up, at the man behind the bars. ”So, watcha name?” he said, nervously quick. The man, having only just noticed himself that he again but his forehead on the bars, looked up, and in a sarcastic tone said: ”M. W. Inyourface.”. The guard made a small grin, and began tapping the keys on the laptop. At first, the man was suprised that the guard actually searched for the name, but then he remembered that he even killed someone named Inyourface. Two times.
”There are 15 in this system currently, without FogDevies, named M. W. Inyourface.” the guard said, slowly. The man in the cell was about to laugh, but supressed the urge. ”What is your full name?” the guard asked, looking up at the man. ”Mybutt Willbe Inyourface.” the man answered. The guard began tapping. The man was terrified at the guard's stupidity, but a few seconds later, the guard looked up. ”Oh, I see.” the guard said, in a vengeful tone.
The man laughed heartily, soon upgrading his laughter to rolling on the floor, laughing. The guard rose from the chair and looked at the man laying on the floor, laughing. He crossed his arms. After a few seconds, the man was done laughing, still snickering, while brushing away the tears on his face. ”Be glad I don't have 'e perms ta blow your hea' off!” the guard yelled, angrily.
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So yeah,I would like you to point out typos, too, or thing that could be described in a less clumsy way.
A couple of sci-fi slang explanations:
Beef 6 - A small planet, though the largest in the system the story so far takes place in.
FogDevi - Short for 'Fogging Device', a small, sturdy metal disc used by 9/10 of the population in every system. It will prevent the police from tracking you, though most outlaw tracking devices can easily penetrate the radar shield.
Perms - Commom slang for permissions or rights.
Enjoy, please comment.
I have avoided giving detailed descriptions of stuff, mostly because of my flawed English. Which means that I hope you have an imagination. Also, no name yet :smallbiggrin:
---------------------------------------------------------------------
The man pressed his forehead on the iron bars on the small police spaceship. Small for a government ship, at least. He was wondering how deep the marks in his forehead would be afterwards. Perhaps he could even beat his own record! Anyhow, he had nothing else to do, while waiting to be transported to that 'small stupid Prison asteroid', or 'Spa', as it was actually called in the everyday by most people on the nearby planets. No one really understood why they still used that prison. The average prisoners coming in every week was 100-300, which was ridiculously low. The average number of escapees every week would be some 100-200. The only punishment for going to that particular prison was waiting for 2 or three days, plus one or two, depending on how far away the prison transport has to travel to get you to the prison in the first place. The man heard a tired voice, speaking strangely loud, considering this was a prison transport ship. ”Hey. Why are you in here? We weren't even supposed to transport prisoners this run to Beef 6.” he laughed loudly at the last part of his sentence. The man looked up, only now realizing that out of the total 6 cells, he was the only prisoner. ”Well, you could look me up on one of those handy police-compies of yours, I'm sure you have one of those around.”. The guard was clad in light white armour, his helmet hanging in a thin rope-like material from his waist-down. He was sitting on a stool, his white rifle standing against the bars in the opposite end of the room. The guard grumbled, rose and from a nearby simplistic metal table took a laptop, sat down and put the laptop on his thighs. He opened the screen and began tapping for a few second. He looked up, at the man behind the bars. ”So, watcha name?” he said, nervously quick. The man, having only just noticed himself that he again but his forehead on the bars, looked up, and in a sarcastic tone said: ”M. W. Inyourface.”. The guard made a small grin, and began tapping the keys on the laptop. At first, the man was suprised that the guard actually searched for the name, but then he remembered that he even killed someone named Inyourface. Two times.
”There are 15 in this system currently, without FogDevies, named M. W. Inyourface.” the guard said, slowly. The man in the cell was about to laugh, but supressed the urge. ”What is your full name?” the guard asked, looking up at the man. ”Mybutt Willbe Inyourface.” the man answered. The guard began tapping. The man was terrified at the guard's stupidity, but a few seconds later, the guard looked up. ”Oh, I see.” the guard said, in a vengeful tone.
The man laughed heartily, soon upgrading his laughter to rolling on the floor, laughing. The guard rose from the chair and looked at the man laying on the floor, laughing. He crossed his arms. After a few seconds, the man was done laughing, still snickering, while brushing away the tears on his face. ”Be glad I don't have 'e perms ta blow your hea' off!” the guard yelled, angrily.
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So yeah,I would like you to point out typos, too, or thing that could be described in a less clumsy way.
A couple of sci-fi slang explanations:
Beef 6 - A small planet, though the largest in the system the story so far takes place in.
FogDevi - Short for 'Fogging Device', a small, sturdy metal disc used by 9/10 of the population in every system. It will prevent the police from tracking you, though most outlaw tracking devices can easily penetrate the radar shield.
Perms - Commom slang for permissions or rights.
Enjoy, please comment.