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Assassinfox
2007-04-17, 06:57 PM
Kleatus

Level 1 Commoner with the following stats:

Str 8
Dex 8
Con 6
Wis 8
Int 8
Cha 8

He's also blind and missing one arm!

This character is perfect for roleplaying! Such sheer lack of that icky "optimization" and "survivability" makes it the most flavorful and interesting character ever! It's not super overpowered and broken like wizards, druids, and warlocks! My DM is even cooperating by removing Polymorph, Shapechange, and Delayed Fireball from the game!




* hides *

asqwasqw
2007-04-17, 07:02 PM
Don't we already have a thread for this? Actually, it might be fun to play that character. I hear something coming up... Oh god, it is a CR 1/10 monster. Run for your lives! *trips* *dies*. And we are not saying optimization is bad. We are saying optimization with no fluff to match it is bad. You can play this character badly and suck both in and out of roleplaying.

Vyker
2007-04-17, 07:02 PM
He's not as weak as my salt-shaker armed slug. The slug also has a cold.

lacesmcawesome
2007-04-17, 07:03 PM
I could do it.

I could do it NINE TIMES. He would be an AMAZING character.

Hario
2007-04-17, 07:05 PM
Kleatus

Level 1 Commoner with the following stats:

Str 8
Dex 8
Con 6
Wis 8
Int 8
Cha 8

He's also blind and missing one arm!

This character is perfect for roleplaying! Such sheer lack of that icky "optimization" and "survivability" makes it the most flavorful and interesting character ever! It's not super overpowered and broken like wizards, druids, and Clerics! My DM is even cooperating by removing Polymorph, Shapechange, and Delayed Fireball from the game!




* hides * fixed... man, who thinks warlocks are broken nowadays?

Assassinfox
2007-04-17, 07:07 PM
fixed... man, who thinks warlocks are broken nowadays?

I was joking. It's a joke within a joke. :smalltongue:

I wasn't sure whether to choose Druids or Clerics for the second one, really.

Arbitrarity
2007-04-17, 07:17 PM
No, no no!

Gimpy, the venerable Kobold!

Commoner 1

Str: 1
Dex: 5
Con: 1
Int: 11
Wis: 11
CHA: 11

TWF's bastard swords, with an animated tower shield (for flavor), and in fullplate! With monkey grip!

Mad attack actions here! -31 -35, 1d10-5, 1d10-5!

That's right. And, his armour only weighs 9 lbs because of slight build (He's tiny, effectively), so he can only barely not move at all! He could drag it.. But who cares.

AC: 15! Yeah!

Gimpy the kobold is brought to you by nonstandard 4 point buy!

He also should be blind, but that would be cheesy, because then he might be tempted to take 5 ft blindsense, to overcome his disability and render it meaningless!

asqwasqw
2007-04-17, 07:18 PM
No, no no!

Gimpy, the venerable Kobold!

Commoner 1

Str: 1
Dex: 5
Con: 1
Int: 11
Wis: 11
CHA: 11

TWF's bastard swords, with an animated tower shield (for flavor), and in fullplate! With monkey grip!

Mad attack actions here! -32 -36, 1d10-5, 1d10-5!

That's right. And, his armour only weighs 9 lbs because of slight build (He's tiny, effectively), so he can only barely not move at all! He could drag it.. But who cares.

AC: 15! Yeah!

Gimpy the kobold is brought to you by nonstandard 4 point buy!

He also should be blind, but that would be cheesy, because then he might be tempted to take 5 ft blindsense, to overcome his disability and render it meaningless!

I hope he doesn't catch a cold...

Krimm_Blackleaf
2007-04-17, 07:19 PM
I'm rather tempted to play a human commoner with all 1's, except a 3 for Int. Also missing an arm and completely blind, possibly mute too. Let's just hope the rest of the group will have a cart.

Indon
2007-04-17, 07:20 PM
Considering how ridiculously fun Kobolds Ate my Baby (http://www.koboldsatemybaby.com/) is, despite the fact that your character _will_ die, quite possibly against a chicken, I'm inclined to agree.

Characters that are so weak as to only have a remote chance of completing even the simplest of objectives are a blast.

Edit: But it's best if everyone in the party is like that. You wouldn't want like, a Fighter just stealing the spotlight and like, killing everything all by himself!

Stevenson
2007-04-17, 07:26 PM
....

*sigh*

I could go make a thread with a totally maxed out character, ranting on about how all that pesky roleplaying nonsense is unneccesary, and optimization is all that matters.

But, people would call me out, call me an idiot, ream me for making optimizers out to be people who number crunch and min-max and don't roleplay.

But threads like this? Who cares?


....*sigh*

EvilElitest
2007-04-17, 07:31 PM
Wow, just got back from my gaming session, this guy killed three pary members. From a level 12 party!?
I don't know if I am damn smart or my party is freaky retarded
Most likely both
from,
EE

asqwasqw
2007-04-17, 07:32 PM
....

*sigh*

I could go make a thread with a totally maxed out character, ranting on about how all that pesky roleplaying nonsense is unneccesary, and optimization is all that matters.

But, people would call me out, call me an idiot, ream me for making optimizers out to be people who number crunch and min-max and don't roleplay.

But threads like this? Who cares?


....*sigh*


Cheer up chap! *starts singing the Monty Python Life of Brian Song* "Always look on the bright side of life! Alwa *gets shot*.

But seriously, this is because lack of stats is funny and high optimization is not. Unless it is pun-pun. Pun-Pun is always funny, even when he is killing children! (more so, in fact)

Indon
2007-04-17, 07:33 PM
Well, he's a kobold. As I mentioned previously, kobolds eat babies. That's what they do.

Dhavaer
2007-04-17, 07:44 PM
....

*sigh*

I could go make a thread with a totally maxed out character, ranting on about how all that pesky roleplaying nonsense is unneccesary, and optimization is all that matters.

But, people would call me out, call me an idiot, ream me for making optimizers out to be people who number crunch and min-max and don't roleplay.

But threads like this? Who cares?


....*sigh*


I think that's because no-one seriously decries roleplaying as being bad/evil/wrong, whereas people do decry optimising. Parodies are only funny as long as there's something to parody.

Fax Celestis
2007-04-17, 08:15 PM
I could do it.

I could do it NINE TIMES. He would be an AMAZING character.

HAHAHAHA. Best NPC idea ever! Use Kleatus, as above, but give him a ring of nine lives!

EDIT: And a full luck blade! HAHAHA!

Indon
2007-04-17, 08:16 PM
I'd be so proud playing that character if I lived to see my tenth encounter...

Viscount Einstrauss
2007-04-17, 08:18 PM
Hey, I once played a whole game as an NPC expert, up to level 9. I survived by being a cunning and ruthless adversary. Also, by being the luckiest SOB ever to roll a d20.

EvilElitest
2007-04-17, 08:20 PM
Weak NPC are more deadly to my party than tough one, this guy is about to take down another one
from,
EE

Kultrum
2007-04-17, 08:26 PM
No, no no!

Gimpy, the venerable Kobold!

Commoner 1

Str: 1
Dex: 5
Con: 1
Int: 11
Wis: 11
CHA: 11

TWF's bastard swords, with an animated tower shield (for flavor), and in fullplate! With monkey grip!

Mad attack actions here! -31 -35, 1d10-5, 1d10-5!

That's right. And, his armour only weighs 9 lbs because of slight build (He's tiny, effectively), so he can only barely not move at all! He could drag it.. But who cares.

AC: 15! Yeah!

Gimpy the kobold is brought to you by nonstandard 4 point buy!

He also should be blind, but that would be cheesy, because then he might be tempted to take 5 ft blindsense, to overcome his disability and render it meaningless!

no Gimpy, the three legged wonder horse he was created when a druid accidentally cast awaken instead of call lightning to put it out of its misery!:smalltongue:

Krellen
2007-04-17, 08:50 PM
Considering how ridiculously fun Kobolds Ate my Baby (http://www.koboldsatemybaby.com/) is, despite the fact that your character _will_ die, quite possibly against a chicken, I'm inclined to agree.
I probably need to buy a new copy of KAMB, because I've misplaced my old one. It is, indeed, ridiculously fun. I remember being the Mayor of a game where my brother's Kobold single-handedly mowed down a half-dozen chickens, only to, feeling invincible, pick a fight with the cow. Big mistake.

Beer-and-Pretzels games rock. :smallbiggrin:

Roland St. Jude
2007-04-17, 11:15 PM
Sheriff of Moddingham: Joke or troll? It's a thin line. Locked pending a review.